- 13 minutes ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:20Okay, so that's our class.
00:22Next class, we'll get into comparing the themes of Pride and Prejudice in Mansfield Park.
00:26Goodbye.
00:27Mr. W, why did Jane Austen write the characters of Kitty and Lydia if their personalities are identical?
00:33Great question, and a perfect place to pick up tomorrow.
00:36What are you talking about? There's still five minutes left in class.
00:39Well, Beth, studies have shown kids need quiet time to metabolize what they've learned.
00:44Cite your sources. What studies?
00:46Studies. Now, everyone close your eyes and think about the material.
00:54Wow. I think I get it now.
00:57Me too.
00:58Me too.
01:28I'm not the only one. Do you have any food or anything?
01:30Just this small bag of cashews for my midday snack.
01:36What am I supposed to do with these?
01:48Do what you feel, is everything's real?
01:53Is everything real?
02:12It arrived.
02:14Oh, God.
02:14Please, no more Christmas decorations.
02:17I'm scared of the elf on the shelf.
02:23You need to tell me if you did that.
02:25How could I have done that?
02:26If you touch him, he returns to Santa.
02:28And no, this is my gift for Bill.
02:31You can't give him that.
02:32Why not?
02:33I'm not sure if you're aware, but rings are often associated with marriage.
02:36More importantly, it's ugly.
02:38But it's ugly and meaningful.
02:40Bill was the first person in his family to go to college, but he couldn't afford a class
02:44ring when he graduated.
02:45So I went on eBay, and turns out one of his classmates just died.
02:49How lucky is that?
02:50Well, maybe don't tell him that part.
02:52I'm so excited.
02:53I'm going to sneak it to him at the Fisher-Stassen holiday party.
02:55Are you coming with me?
02:57I wish I could be there, but I have to work.
03:00Wait, did you find a new celebrity to style who?
03:03Clooney?
03:04Pedro Pascal?
03:05Jacob Elordi?
03:06No, I'm going after someone even better.
03:09Jack McBrayer.
03:10Jack McBrayer?
03:12I know he's hilarious, but is he a fashion person?
03:15No, but neither was Austin.
03:17Look, anyone can style Pedro Pascal.
03:20I think the fastest way for me to build my client roster is to transform normal famous
03:24people into fashionable ones.
03:26I still need to find a way to talk to his publicist, but I'm working on that.
03:29Plus, I've activated my secret weapon.
03:31My grandma in India is fasting for me.
03:33I'm a muzzet beast.
03:35Should she be fasting, though?
03:36She's very tiny.
03:37Yeah, no kidding.
03:38I need to find a client ASAP.
03:43Would you like to round up for charity?
03:45Of course I always round up.
03:47And put $2 on there for yourself.
03:53Declined.
03:55Sorry.
04:00Still declined.
04:01I already took a bite of the monkey bread.
04:04If you can't pay, please leave.
04:09Ken, why don't my credit cards work?
04:10I'm sorry, Josh.
04:12Your dad instructed me to cut you off.
04:13Cut me off?
04:15Because I made him clean up a spill?
04:17Correct.
04:18But according to your dad, you did it in a really bitchy way.
04:22This is unbelievable.
04:24Josh, all you have to do is apologize and he'll get over it.
04:28Like when your sister went to that protest.
04:30Well, unlike her, I will never apologize.
04:32I stand by my actions.
04:33I am a man of principle.
04:35You're going to be a man of ramen noodles soon.
04:37You know, your dad could be extremely vindictive.
04:40Fine.
04:41I don't need him.
04:42I have a job in television.
04:45In news.
04:46Do you know how much money you make?
04:48I'll text you the amount.
04:58So, I thought I'd give you a choice for the last 15 minutes of class.
05:02I could keep telling you about Pride and Prejudice or Colin Firth and Jennifer Ely can.
05:08Colin Firth!
05:09Colin Firth!
05:11Colin Firth!
05:13Woo!
05:14Wait, where are you going?
05:16I thought you'd want to watch it without me.
05:18You know, the male gaze.
05:19You're not that masculine.
05:20It's not a problem.
05:21Shut up, Beth.
05:22We need this.
05:33Hey, Davis, do you want to get lunch?
05:35Play cava roulette.
05:36I pick your bowl, you pick mine.
05:39No, I have lunch plans.
05:41Is everything okay?
05:42You've been pretty quiet recently.
05:44I'm great.
05:45Just this is the least you've ever spoken to me.
05:47Wow, what a stupid thing to say.
05:49Remember when I had strep for a week and I could only communicate with a small wipey board?
05:53I do remember that.
05:54I'm sorry.
05:55No, no, no.
05:56I'm sorry.
05:57Next time I'll make sure my pain is more memorable for you.
06:05Paula, I've done the math.
06:06Given my salary and the hours I work, I am technically impoverished.
06:10You order takeout every day and leave your leftovers in the fridge.
06:13You're rich.
06:14My situation has recently changed.
06:15I need a race.
06:17Welcome to TV journalism.
06:18It's a dying industry.
06:20I am a 62-year-old woman with a wife and a roommate.
06:23First of all, I have a lot of questions about that dynamic, but Paula, that's crazy.
06:28Why do you keep doing this job?
06:30Because it's important.
06:31It's not about the money.
06:32Our payment is keeping the world from going completely to shit.
06:39All right, I'm going to tell you what I've told every PA before you.
06:45If you want to steal food from the snack station, I don't care.
07:14Morgan, you have a delivery from Celine.
07:16Oh my God, from Michael?
07:20He does not need to be getting me gifts.
07:22Is it the triomphe he owes me?
07:24It's actually nothing.
07:26Excuse me?
07:26There's nothing in the bag but tissue paper.
07:28I pretended to be a messenger to get in here to talk to you.
07:30Dylan, call security.
07:32No, no, no, please, please, please, please.
07:33Just hear me out.
07:34My name is Abby Chilicoury.
07:35I'm a stylist, and I used to work with Austin Blanchett.
07:38So you were the one behind his little transformation?
07:40Yes, and now I would love to work with your client, Jack McBrayer.
07:44Yeah, so would everyone.
07:45He's the gem of Georgia.
07:46But Jack doesn't need a stylist.
07:48That kind of stuff doesn't really interest him.
07:50It didn't interest Austin either, but I think there's a big opportunity for Jack in men's fashion.
07:58Please, just send him the Canva link and see what he thinks.
08:02If he's interested or has an event coming up, I will happily waive my fee for him.
08:08Okay, Jack is doing a live reading of his new memoir tomorrow, and he has been saying he wants to
08:14be more rock and roll.
08:15Whatever the hell that means.
08:18I'll pitch you to him, and we'll go from there.
08:20That is incredible.
08:22Morgan, thank you.
08:23Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much.
08:26While I'm here.
08:27If you have any other clients that need a stylist or...
08:30Quit while you're ahead.
08:31Bye.
08:39Thank you so much for helping me with my finances.
08:41Oh, of course, dude.
08:42I got you.
08:43Okay, first things first.
08:44What are these $150 charges at Roberto Caglia's every two weeks?
08:48Oh, Roberto?
08:49He executes my hair vision.
08:51Alan Ginsberg meets mystery from K-pop Demon Hunters.
08:53He's my barber.
08:54Not anymore.
08:55You're going to super cuts.
08:57Oh, there he is.
08:58How was rehearsal today?
08:59Oh, could not have gone better.
09:01That's great.
09:01Kel, question for you.
09:03How often do you get a facial?
09:04What?
09:05Never.
09:05What?
09:06God damn it.
09:07Beautiful people save so much money.
09:08I'm sorry, what's going on?
09:10Josh is budgeting for the first time in his life.
09:12Oh, boy.
09:13And to get ahead of it, it is very important that I keep my monthly donation to the Sierra Club.
09:16Okay, Lynn, I don't think you need subscriptions to the New York Times, the New Yorker, and New York Magazine.
09:21The Holy Trinity?
09:22Yeah, I need those.
09:23Screw the Sierra Club.
09:24Sorry, wildlife.
09:25The planet's cooked anyway.
09:26I must be under budget now.
09:27Nowhere near it.
09:29I'm calling my dad to apologize.
09:30I can't live like this.
09:31He kicked me off our Amazon Prime account.
09:34We're men, Josh.
09:35We can get our own Prime account.
09:38Okay.
09:38Don't look so sad.
09:40I'm taking both of you boys to the Fisherstassen holiday party tomorrow.
09:44Free food, free drinks.
09:45We rage all night.
09:46Until 9 p.m.
09:47Hold on.
09:48You sure you still want to go to that?
09:49I mean, won't A.J. and Bill be there?
09:52Maybe.
09:52I don't care.
09:54When I look at her at work, I feel nothing.
09:56Because I've moved on.
09:56Ladies of Fisherstassen, beware.
09:58Hurricane Davis is making landfall.
10:01That's right, buddy.
10:03Hey, guys.
10:04Enough.
10:05Can we get back to the budget?
10:06I am so stressed.
10:08My weekly massage cannot come soon enough.
10:15Hi.
10:15Oh.
10:15Hi.
10:16Where are you after?
10:17There's a free reading at the library, and Davis told me I can't afford to buy audiobooks
10:21anymore.
10:22Uh-huh.
10:22Hey, can I walk with you for a second?
10:24I, uh, just have a question.
10:25Sure.
10:27Oh.
10:28Can you slow down?
10:29I'm walking New York normal.
10:31You speed up.
10:33So, Davis is, like, barely speaking to me at work.
10:35Is something going on?
10:39Cal knew you were seeing someone, and I saw Bill leaving your apartment.
10:44We had to tell him.
10:45Oh, my God.
10:47I am so stupid.
10:48Damn it.
10:49This is so bad.
10:50Do you think he'll tell anyone?
10:52No, I don't.
10:52He's not that type of guy.
10:53Oh, thank God.
10:55It's just things with Bill and I are getting kind of serious.
10:58I think we might even tell people at work in the new year.
11:00I just, I don't want to mess this up.
11:02Well, your secret's safe with me.
11:05And Davis and Cal.
11:06And Roberto, former hair guy.
11:09We have no secrets.
11:10I appreciate that.
11:12You want to come to this library thing with me?
11:13Oh, what is it?
11:14It's a historian reading from his own book on Dutch street names in Lower Manhattan.
11:19I'd rather kill myself.
11:21Fun fact, kill means river in Dutch.
11:25It is amazing that society accepts you.
11:28Oh, now he's walking fast.
11:37Hey, Kate, you wanted to see me?
11:42Beth, what are you doing here?
11:43We both wanted to see you.
11:45Have a seat.
11:46I'll tell people when to have a seat, Beth.
11:48Have a seat, Cal.
11:52So what's going on?
11:53Have you been leaving your class unsupervised?
11:56Okay.
11:57Okay, yes.
11:58But it was an emergency.
11:59I had a tech rehearsal for my play.
12:00Of course you're an actor.
12:02From the minute I met you, I knew something was off.
12:04Vice Principal Woodson, arrest him.
12:06I am not arresting him.
12:08Also, I don't think I can do that.
12:09Fine.
12:10You're fired.
12:11What?
12:12No, no.
12:13You're not fired.
12:14But there are consequences.
12:16Kel, you're going to chaperone the formal tonight to show your commitment to the students.
12:20What?
12:20That's not a punishment.
12:22This formal is going to be the best night of my life.
12:24And now he's going to be there wearing something dorky?
12:26This is so unfair.
12:27I always knew you didn't care about teaching.
12:29And once again, I'm right.
12:34Kel, what the hell?
12:36Come on.
12:36I know.
12:37Kate, I don't really have to chaperone this dance, right?
12:41I have my roommate's holiday party tonight.
12:43And I really learned my lesson.
12:45Maybe you and I can talk about it over dinner.
12:48Well, there's this new tapas place under the high line I've been meaning to try.
12:53Mmm, I'd love that.
12:54Great.
12:55But you do have to chaperone the dance.
12:56You'll be in charge of building the balloon arch and making sure the kids don't hook up in
13:00the bathroom.
13:01Mmm.
13:02Have a great rest of your day.
13:04Hey.
13:20Okay.
13:24Excuse me.
13:25What, uh, studio services let me pull this for a client?
13:29I'm a stylist.
13:30To the stars.
13:31Lots of big ones.
13:32We can definitely check.
13:33What's your name?
13:35Abby Chiligori.
13:36And who are you pulling for?
13:38Jack McBrayer.
13:39Oh, I love Jack McBrayer.
13:41He's the gem of Georgia.
13:42I'm sure that will be fine.
13:43Oh, thank God.
13:44What?
13:46Nothing.
13:47Nothing.
13:47Uh, just excited to meet a fellow member of the McBrayer Mafia.
14:06Holy shit.
14:08I mean, paid for with blood money, but holy shit, this party's insane.
14:12Tis the season, first signature cocktails in premium mystiques.
14:16Now, if you'll excuse me, I see at least 15 ladies I need to talk to before my beta blocker
14:21wears off.
14:22Wingman?
14:22Sorry.
14:23Tonight.
14:24I'm testing the limits of unlimited buffet.
14:26You brought Tupperware?
14:28Bro, that's why you're the goat.
14:33Thanks.
14:35Cheers.
14:35Cheers.
14:39So, have you been naughty or nice?
14:42I think naughty.
14:53Is that a gingerbread house for two?
15:00Wouldn't want to live there anyway.
15:02Whoa, ladies.
15:04Snowstorm's coming.
15:06Uh, who wants whipped cream?
15:13Brutal.
15:25Yes!
15:29Oh, great shot, Mr. W.
15:33Kel, will you dance with me?
15:36Marina, you know I can't do that.
15:39All right.
15:40For now, Beth is still in the bathroom crying.
15:45She's being so dramatic.
15:46Wait, Beth is crying?
15:47Why?
15:48Who even knows?
15:48She's been acting like a dictator about this dance, like Muammar Gaddafi or Hidi Amin.
15:53We're learning about dictators and world history.
15:56I'm over it.
15:57Let's just go put on fake freckles.
16:21Hey, can I talk?
16:23Hey, can I talk?
16:28Hey, A.J., that's my personal space.
16:30And that's where I got my flu shot.
16:32What?
16:32I don't know about me and Bill.
16:34I should have told you.
16:36It just felt like you might think it was...
16:37Unprofessional, shitty, gross.
16:40Complicated, because we all work together.
16:43Yeah.
16:44God, I bet it was so hot keeping it from us, your sexy little secret.
16:47Giggling in bed about me, Dilip, and Jocelyn.
16:50Talking about how weird my ears are, how bad my handwriting is.
16:53What?
16:53No, we never did that.
16:55Yeah, right.
16:58A.J., I just thought...
17:02What?
17:07I just didn't think you were the type.
17:11Well, it's a good thing I don't care what you think, because this has nothing to do with you.
17:15Great.
17:15Anything else you want to force me to talk about that has nothing to do with me?
17:18No, just don't tell anyone, okay?
17:21Don't worry, A.J.
17:22Your little secret's safe with me.
17:35Male teacher entering.
17:38Male teacher entering.
17:40Beth, you okay?
17:42What do you want?
17:44What's going on?
17:46What's going on is, this gown was supposed to be a reference to Kylie's Kardashian Christmas
17:53Party green satin Ralph and Russo gown.
17:56Yeah, yeah, for sure, I've heard of that one.
17:59My stupid mom never listens to me, and she didn't get the dress tailored right, so now
18:03everything's ruined.
18:10Everyone lets me down.
18:12I'm so sorry, Beth.
18:14I guess I'll just go find my boyfriend, Rocco, and since my self-esteem is so low, I'll
18:18probably go all the way.
18:19Jesus, don't do that.
18:22Just give me one second.
18:23I think I know someone who can help.
18:32Sorry about my stuff.
18:33It's just really inconsiderate.
18:42Cal, I'm on the subway.
18:43I might lose you.
18:43Is everything okay?
18:44No.
18:45I really need your help.
18:46One of my students is in a crisis.
18:47What?
18:48No, I'm on my way to the biggest fitting of my life, and I hate kids.
18:51Please.
18:52I'm at the school dance, and my student's dress doesn't fit.
18:54She's crying, she won't leave the bathroom, and she's threatening to lose her virginity
18:58to Rocco.
18:59For the last time, it's not just a school dance.
19:01It's the winter formal.
19:03Wait, this is a formal?
19:04A formal is the most defining moment of a high school girl's life.
19:07I know, that's why I'm calling you.
19:08Oh, okay, okay.
19:10I have a few extra minutes.
19:12I'll see you soon.
19:13Bye.
19:19Excuse me.
19:49Hey, what's going on?
19:50You're going to be doing some sex stuff?
19:50Like, something I should know about?
19:52No, just some annoying housekeeping stuff that I've been putting off.
19:56Oh, okay.
19:58Yeah, we can do our dinner when you get back.
20:00Yeah.
20:01I'll, uh, be back by New Year's, and we'll talk then.
20:06Uh, we should...
20:10Probably...
20:14Oh, my God, Abby.
20:15You're so cool.
20:16I don't know why you're friends with Mr. W, but thank you.
20:20Of course.
20:21And can I just say, you look better than the reference.
20:23Shut up.
20:24That's so rude to Kylie.
20:26Beth, bro.
20:27Over here.
20:29Um, thank you.
20:34I'm guessing that's Rocco?
20:37Punk.
20:40Thank you again.
20:42Of course.
20:43Wait, come here.
20:53It's better.
20:55Mm-hmm.
20:56Okay.
20:58I have to run.
20:59Yeah, yeah.
21:00Of course.
21:01Get out of here.
21:04Bye, Mr. W.
21:21I'm sure they'll refill it.
21:27Got any holiday plans, Bill?
21:29Don't say work.
21:29It'll make me look bad.
21:30Ha, no, I, uh, I'm leaving town with my girlfriend tomorrow for asking.
21:36Hey, Jay, you lucky bastard.
21:49Excuse me, are you the stylist Morgan mentioned?
21:52Yes, hi, I'm Abby.
21:54Thank you so much for this opportunity.
21:56I'm so excited about all of these looks.
21:58Me too.
21:59But now, I have to ask, based on the photos that you sent, do you see me as, like, a
22:04bad boy?
22:07That's a great question.
22:08I guess if that's...
22:09Because between you and me, I've always seen myself as a bad boy.
22:13Behind these kind eyes lurks a real skillens' role.
22:17I love it.
22:18I actually have the perfect jacket for you.
22:21Oh, yes, that Prada jacket.
22:24When Morgan showed me that picture, I was like, the man that wears that jacket?
22:29Oh, he doesn't play the sweetie pie.
22:31He plays the hero dangling from a helicopter, screaming, I am the storm.
22:38I just rewatched all the Mission Impossibles.
22:43Okay, slight wrinkle.
22:44It seems the jacket didn't make it.
22:46What?
22:47Well, what does that mean?
22:48The jacket's not here, but we have so many other incredible options.
22:52This Xenia, this Piniello, this Versace is just amazing.
22:56Those are nice, but that jacket is what got me excited about all this.
23:02You know what?
23:03I'm just going to wear this.
23:05No, no, please.
23:06Please.
23:06We can make you look like a bad boy.
23:08It's fine.
23:09It was so nice to meet you.
23:11I'm sorry this didn't work out, and honestly, I blame myself.
23:15Please, don't.
23:16I don't actually.
23:17I was just being polite.
23:27Josh?
23:28What are you doing here?
23:30I'm Davis's Plus One.
23:31This party is insane.
23:3418 people have offered me cocaine.
23:36Only 18?
23:37Wait, dude, we have to talk Aspen.
23:40My family goes every year.
23:41If you see my dad at the Little Nell, tell him I'm doing great.
23:44What?
23:45I am not going to Aspen.
23:46But I just overheard Bill telling some guy he's going with his girlfriend tomorrow.
23:53Oh, yeah, Aspen.
23:56Sorry.
23:57I am so sleep deprived.
23:59I forgot.
24:02Will you excuse me for a second?
24:18Hey.
24:19Hey, Abby.
24:20Um, how did everything go with Jack?
24:22Did you need something, Kel?
24:23Uh, no.
24:24I just wanted to see if, um...
24:28Is everything okay?
24:29No, actually, I got fired and I lost an $18,000 jacket because of you.
24:34How was that my fault?
24:36I left it on the subway when you made me go to that stupid school.
24:40Sorry, I...
24:42Why is my door open?
24:44Hello?
24:45Abby?
24:46Abby?
24:50Abby?
24:51Oh, my God.
24:52What happened?
25:02I'm sorry.
25:02I'm in a battle of the wills that has led to my financial ruin, and therefore I cannot tip you.
25:08That's okay.
25:09But maybe your friend can take me out sometime?
25:14Uh, maybe he can.
25:17Great.
25:23Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!
25:26After you gave him that ugly ring and everything?
25:29Did you yell at him?
25:30What did he say?
25:31Mm, nothing.
25:33He doesn't even know that I know.
25:34I had to hear it from Josh.
25:39We're going to Bills.
25:40No.
25:40Mm-hmm.
25:41No, no.
25:41I took my bra off.
25:42Please, your boobs are small.
25:43Put a jacket on.
25:45You need answers.
25:46I know the answer.
25:47No.
25:48He needs to know that you know.
25:50At the very least, you get to ruin his vacation.
25:52Maybe he'll be thinking about it and fall off his ski lift.
25:55That's the spirit.
25:56Let's get to Tribeca, home of Manhattan's villains and one angel.
26:00Taylor Allison Swift.
26:08Kel, I wish you could have been there, man.
26:11We both cleaned up.
26:12Me, more food-based.
26:14But Davey over here got a girl's number just by needing a coat.
26:18We're so back.
26:19Oh, yeah, we are.
26:23Totally, totally.
26:25Hey, Josh, can I ask you for a favor?
26:28When anybody.
26:29Can you just tell me that AJ's not that great?
26:33And that she's not that pretty and she's not the girl of my dreams?
26:38I mean, you hate her, so just, like, tell me how much she sucks.
26:45I'm sorry, I can't.
26:50But I can tell you this.
26:52You are going to find someone who deserves you.
26:54Someone even better.
26:55How?
26:55I've been trying for two decades.
26:57Hey, if you could fall in love with the girl across the hall, I promise there is someone
27:01else in this city for you.
27:02Yeah, don't blame yourself.
27:03I mean, if anything, blame the building.
27:05It's cursed.
27:06None of us are having any luck here.
27:07And if we can't find anyone, we'll move to Denver.
27:10Denver?
27:11Of all cities, you pick Denver?
27:13I'd move to Denver with you, bro.
27:15Think about all the hikes we'd go on.
27:16You don't even hike with me here.
27:17I wouldn't, Denver.
27:18I'm not moving to Denver.
27:20Okay, fine.
27:21And then you're not invited to Denver anymore.
27:23Bang.
27:24Uh-huh.
27:32I'll be at the Duane Rand down the street.
27:35Come find me as soon as it's over.
27:38You got this.
27:58AJ, what are you doing here?
28:00Who are you going to Aspen with?
28:05I wanted to talk to you when I got back.
28:08Well, I'm here now.
28:12Uh, Catherine and I got back together.
28:15She came into town a few weeks ago and wanted to talk.
28:19I don't understand.
28:21You said we were exclusive.
28:23No, I said you made me want to be.
28:25Are you kidding?
28:26You lied on a technicality?
28:29Is that supposed to make me feel better?
28:31No, it's not.
28:32And I'm sorry, okay?
28:37AJ, we don't have a future.
28:39And I knew that, but I did this anyway because I liked you so much.
28:45If you like me so much, then why can't we be together?
28:48You're incredible.
28:49But you're not the person I should be with.
28:52We're too similar.
28:54So what?
28:55You want someone who sits at home and makes you breakfast in bed?
28:59Someone who doesn't challenge you or understand you or get the thing you devoted your life to?
29:04Yes, I need that.
29:06That's what we need to do this job.
29:10I need a Catherine to take care of me.
29:12And trust me, you're going to need someone like that too.
29:20I'm sorry.
29:22I'm sorry.
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