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The Blackmailed Bride Falling in Love With a Criminal Boss
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00:01Thanks for watching!
00:30Something shifts in her expression.
00:32Something serious and old and tired like she's been waiting for this question and dreading it at the same time.
00:37Mia, it's time you know who I am.
00:38The door exploding open.
00:39A masked man with a gun raised screaming at everyone to get on the floor.
00:43The cafe erupts into chaos.
00:44I freeze.
00:46I stand in the middle of it all and my body simply refuses to move like it's deciding whether any
00:50This is real.
00:51Mia, get down.
00:52I can't move.
00:54You deaf!
00:55I said down!
00:56The robber spots me.
00:57Move!
00:58Why can't I move?
01:05For one second, I think it's over.
01:08Marco, put it down.
01:10Please.
01:16I stand there with a stranger's arm around my neck and think absurdly about the alley three months ago.
01:20About how I peeked my head out and said hello like an idiot.
01:23About how that one bad decision led to every bad decision after it.
01:26A chain of dominoes I set off the moment I dragged a bleeding cartel king off the pavement.
01:30I really shouldn't have saved him.
01:31Then the door opens again.
01:32Emilia walks in like he has nowhere else to be.
01:34Like this is a meeting I have scheduled.
01:36Gun raised.
01:36Jaw set.
01:37Eyes finding me in under a second.
01:39Oh yeah?
01:39Who's she?
01:40The president's wife?
01:41Emilio shoots him in the arm.
01:42The arm around my throat goes slack.
01:44I drop.
01:45Serena catches me.
01:47No, you're fucking not.
01:48I don't see what happens next.
01:49The world tilts, goes soft at the edges and I stop being able to hold myself up.
01:54The last thing I feel before I feel is someone lifting me.
01:57His arms.
01:58His cologne.
01:58That particular steadiness that shouldn't feel like safety but does.
02:04The next morning a small army arrives at my door.
02:07They work on me for two hours.
02:08I sit in the chair and let them.
02:10And it feels like a doll being dressed for a party I didn't ask to attend.
02:13Which is, technically, exactly what's happening.
02:16I slip out when they're arguing about earrings.
02:18Down the hall, through the tall living room windows, I spot Emilio outside with Diego.
02:22He's in a sharp suit and he's furious.
02:24Jaw tight, gesturing hard, words muffled through the glass but unmistakably sharp.
02:28He's beautiful when he's angry.
02:29I noticed this and immediately wish I hadn't.
02:34You're gonna tell me why you want my baby and what it has to do with Palacio?
02:38Who?
02:38The man at your apartment.
02:40He knows.
02:41He's known.
02:41The realization lands slowly and then all at once and I think about every moment since he showed up at
02:45my door.
02:46The conference table, the handkerchief, the drawer full of condoms and understand that he has been pulling at this thread
02:51the entire time.
02:52I don't know what you're talking about.
02:53Do you know what happened to the last person who lied to me?
02:57I cut out their tongue and made them eat it.
03:00I hate them.
03:01I blink hard.
03:02He's a monster, I tell myself.
03:03Remember that.
03:04This isn't over.
03:05I know.
03:06It's never over.
03:07That's the problem.
03:10I walk in on Emilio's arm in a dress that costs more than three months of my old salary.
03:15Diamonds at my throat and I feel like a very convincing fake.
03:18Emilio greets people with a smile that doesn't touch his eyes and guides me through the room with a hand
03:22at the small of my back that feels like both a claim and a warning.
03:26Stay close.
03:27Don't talk to anyone.
03:28I'm not allowed to talk to people.
03:30You've caused enough trouble on your own.
03:31That wasn't in the contract.
03:32I'm a cartel boss, Mia.
03:34A contract won't stop me from doing whatever I want.
03:38I don't see Franco until his hand closes around my arm and yanks me into the shadows.
03:42Hello, little Mia.
03:43You didn't forget our deal?
03:45What are you doing here?
03:47Emilio invited.
03:47We go way back.
03:48Emilio invited him.
03:49The information sits in my chest like a stone.
03:51I think about the look on Emilio's face through the window.
03:53Furious.
03:54Deliberate.
03:54I think about this isn't over.
03:56You've been living with him for three weeks, little Mia.
03:58Why aren't you pregnant yet?
04:07What did you do to her?
04:08Nothing.
04:09We were just talking.
04:10Why don't you ask her?
04:12This is his land between us like a grenade.
04:14I watch Emilio's grip loosen.
04:16Just slightly, just for a moment and see it on his face.
04:18The recalculation.
04:19The betrayal trying to find its shape.
04:21Our eyes meet and I have never felt so exposed in my life.
04:24Then DeLeon is there, murmuring something about engagement photos.
04:28And Emilio exhaled through his teeth.
04:29And goes.
04:30I watch him walk away with his shoulders set and his jaw tight.
04:33And something aching and hollow opens up in the middle of my chest.
04:36You know something's wrong.
04:38Tell him before this ends badly.
04:40I can't.
04:41Under the bright lights of the photo area,
04:43Emilio and I stand six inches apart like strangers.
04:46The photographer keeps asking us to move closer.
04:49We comply in small, miserable increments.
04:51Is it that unborable standing next to me?
04:53Only when you're mad at me.
04:54I'm mad because you're hiding something.
04:55I can't.
04:56Perfect.
04:56Now give each other a little kiss.
04:58The silence that follows is approximately a thousand years long.
05:01Then Emilio grabs my chin and kisses me.
05:03It's not gentle.
05:04It's a question with teeth.
05:05Demanding and frustrated and humiliatingly effective.
05:09The camera flashes go off like a small storm.
05:11That was my first kiss.
05:12That was my first kiss and I used it like prepunctuation.
05:17His mouth was just there.
05:19Angry and warm and nothing like I'd imagined.
05:22And I have absolutely been imagining it.
05:24And that is a problem I don't have time for right now.
05:26He was furious and I still got turned on.
05:29What's wrong with me?
05:32Did you sleep with him?
05:33What?
05:34Who?
05:34Franco Palazzo.
05:35Is that what you're hiding?
05:35Is that why you wouldn't kiss me?
05:36No, I didn't sleep with him.
05:37You shoved me away like I was contagious.
05:39Because I couldn't breathe.
05:39I've never, I haven't.
05:40The fury in his expression shifts.
05:42Slowly, like a tide going out.
05:44It gives a way to something quiet and more careful.
05:46Breathe through your nose.
05:47He presses his lips to mine.
05:48And this time it's nothing like before.
05:50Soft, slow, like he's asking instead of taking.
05:53Like he has all the time in the world and intends to use it.
05:56One more.
05:56I don't say no.
05:57I don't say anything.
05:58He kisses me again, deeper, one hand sliding to the back of my neck.
06:01And I stop being able to think in anything but sensation.
06:04Warmth and the smell of his cologne.
06:06And the ridiculous, inconvenient certainty that I am in very serious trouble.
06:09Say yes, ma'am.
06:10Yes.
06:14Then he stops.
06:15Not all at once.
06:16He trails his lips down my throat, unhurried, while I'm still trying to remember what air
06:19is for.
06:19His hands are at my waist, mine are in his hair.
06:21The whole world has narrowed down to this locked bathroom, this basin, his mouth.
06:24But I don't think you deserve it yet.
06:26What?
06:26You're still hiding something from me.
06:28You and my worst enemy.
06:29I can't tell you.
06:30I'm so-
06:31He drops to his knees in front of me, parting my legs, and I barely have time to process
06:35what's happening before his mouth is on me, and my head snaps back, and I forget everything
06:39coherent thought I've ever had.
06:40You'll tell me eventually, before it's too late.
06:43He's using this against me.
06:44I know he's using this against me.
06:46I can't take care of myself.
06:48A security guard threatening to break it down.
06:50Promise me you'll tell me the truth, or that guard walks in and finds you like this.
06:54That's-
06:54You can't-
06:55That's blackmail!
06:56Yes, I promise.
06:57I'll tell you everything.
06:58Turns back to me, eyes dark.
07:01Remember your promise.
07:04He leaves.
07:05I sit on the basin in the sudden quiet, chest heaving, ring glittering on my finger, and
07:09Press my hands to my face.
07:11He used pleasure as a weapon.
07:12And the worst part, the part I can't stop thinking about as I swipe off the basin and
07:16fix my lipstick and walk back out into the party, is that I would let him do it again.
07:22Sleep well?
07:24Hmm?
07:25You don't look like you slept well.
07:27I can arrange a sleep therapist.
07:29Did you use sex to blackrail me?
07:30No, I don't need a therapist, I need a cop.
07:32Do you think a cop would help?
07:33No, because you're the cartel king and you do whatever you want.
07:37Not everything I want.
07:39Not when it comes to you.
07:40I don't know what to do with that.
07:41I look at my hands.
07:43I don't like being lied to, Mia.
07:44I grew up in this world.
07:45Betrayal is the worst without there is.
07:47But I'll wait.
07:48Tell me when you're ready.
07:49Something in my chest loosens just slightly.
07:52The first millimeter of relief in weeks.
07:54I'll tell you, at the right time.
07:56I need to think it through.
07:57That's all I need.
07:59I have money.
08:00You have peanuts.
08:01Buy whatever you want.
08:02I'll see you tonight, fiancé.
08:03I look up from five credit cards and the ring on my finger and the ghost of his mouth on
08:07mine
08:07and I think about Tobos and Franco's deadline and the promise I made in a locked bathroom.
08:12I'll tell him, at the right time.
08:14My phone buzzes.
08:15It's a message from an unknown number.
08:17A photo, Toas, beaten, barely conscious.
08:19A map pin.
08:20One line of text.
08:21Come alone.
08:22I'm running some errands today.
08:24You can come along.
08:24Let's see how long you last.
08:29I know that's what it was.
08:30A list of errands Emilio had quietly arranged.
08:33A list of things I was supposed to need.
08:35A list of reasons to stay close to the house.
08:37I ditched them at the corner of Fifth and Carator, slipped into a doorway while they ran past in the
08:41wrong direction,
08:42and stood there for three whole seconds, feeling like I'd actually won something.
08:46The address was a neighborhood that had been given up on itself.
08:49Cracked pavement, bored windows, a smell like rust and old rain.
08:52The building at the end of the block looked like it was held together by habit.
08:56I pushed the door open anyway.
08:58He needs me, I told myself.
09:00He can't hurt me yet.
09:02There's no baby.
09:03The whole scene arranged like something from a bad movie.
09:06Little Mia.
09:07It took you long enough.
09:09I had to get rid of Emilio's people.
09:10I'm not talking about that.
09:11I'm talking about why you're not pregnant yet.
09:12He looked up when he heard me.
09:14My stomach turned.
09:15He started pulling one of the women closer, making a show of it, watching my face.
09:21When something slammed into the building from the back, a sound like the world rearranging itself.
09:31Franco got one hand on my arm before a gunshot punched through the air, and he dropped.
09:40Emilio stood in the doorway, guns still raised, still smoking.
09:45He looked at Franco on the floor for exactly one second.
09:49Then he looked at me.
09:51Are you okay?
09:52Did he hurt you?
09:53I couldn't make words happen.
09:55I just shook my head against his chest and kept shaking.
09:58Take care of the rest.
09:59We're leaving.
10:00Then he lifted me up.
10:02It literally lifted me.
10:03And carried me out of that building like I weighed nothing.
10:05Like it was the most natural thing in the world.
10:07Like he'd been doing it his whole life.
10:09Outside, the afternoon light was so ordinary it almost hurt.
10:15I kept waiting for him to put me down to say something cold, to remind me that this was a
10:19contract and feelings weren't included.
10:21He didn't.
10:22He just held me against his chest in the back seat while Diego drove and the city slipped past the
10:26windows like a film I wasn't part of.
10:28He set me on the living room sofa, carefully, gently, and told the staff to leave with a single look.
10:33The room emptied in seconds.
10:35It was just us and the afternoon quiet and the weight of everything that had happened in that filthy room.
10:40He threatened my cousin.
10:41He wanted me to have your baby so he could use the child as leverage against you.
10:45Why didn't you come to me?
10:46He said he'd kill Tomas if I did.
10:48Your cousin was working with Claudio.
10:50He owed him money.
10:52They built this trap together.
10:54For you.
10:54The word together landed like a stone.
10:58What?
10:59He gambled himself into a grave.
11:01Palazzo owned him.
11:03I stared at my hands.
11:04The whole architecture of the pastures rearranged itself in my head.
11:07Toa sweeping on my floor.
11:09The threats.
11:09All of it planned.
11:10All of it aimed at me.
11:12Sorry isn't going to cut it.
11:16I thought he was going to be cold about it.
11:18That's what I braced for.
11:19The cartel king voice.
11:21The gun on the table voice.
11:22That I told you so wrapped in ice.
11:24Instead he said something I didn't expect at all.
11:28You own me.
11:29I dropped meetings to pull you out of that coffee shop.
11:31I kissed you at our engagement party when I should have been shaking hands.
11:34I couldn't kill you when you lied to my face three times and I tried.
11:37I sat there and I tried and I couldn't do it.
11:39Don't quote that stupid contract to me when you own me, Mia Espinosa.
11:42Body and soul.
11:44As much as I own you.
11:46Kiss me like you own me.
11:48His jaw worked.
11:49He said something about not being able to stop once he started.
11:52I didn't let him finish.
11:53I grabbed his collar and pulled him down to me and for one second he went still with pure shock.
11:58And then he took over.
11:59Kissing me like he'd been keeping it locked up for months, which I think he had.
12:03Yes.
12:04Do whatever you want to me.
12:06Punish me.
12:07Fuck me like you own me.
12:09He looked at me for a long moment.
12:11Something fierce and half undone in his face.
12:14Don't say I didn't warn you, Mia.
12:21There's a mirror above the dresser in his bedroom.
12:23I didn't notice it until he bent me over the drawers and his mouth found my neck.
12:27And I looked up and saw us.
12:28His hands in my hair, my face flushed, his eyes burning into mine through the glass.
12:33Look in the mirror.
12:34Look how slutty you get from me.
12:36I couldn't look away.
12:37I'm the only one who gets to see you like this.
12:40Do you understand?
12:41Yes.
12:42Lift your dress.
12:44Watch when I take you.
12:46What followed I will not describe in detail because there are no adequate words for it.
12:49I'll say that every time my eyes dropped, I cupped my chin and brought my gaze back to the mirror.
12:54Mine.
12:55Every time he said mine.
12:56I believed him more completely than I've believed anything in my life.
12:59Mine.
13:01Mine.
13:04Mine.
13:05Afterward, we lay in the dark, his arm across my waist, his breath slow and even.
13:10I stared at the ceiling and felt the particular silence of someone who has crossed a line they can't cross
13:15back over.
13:15You own me, Mia Espinoza.
13:17I pressed my face into his shoulder and tried not to feel how much I wanted that to be true.
13:21Don't fall, I told myself.
13:23I was already falling.
13:27One week later, I came home to flowers.
13:29That's not quite accurate.
13:30I came home to an abundance of flowers, a proliferation, a situation that had clearly escalated well beyond anything
13:36reasonable person would call a floral arrangement.
13:39Every surface in the living room held a different vase.
13:41The whole space smelled like a greenhouse had moved in while I was out.
13:44Standing in the middle of it introducing herself with a warm professional smile was a woman named Ollie.
13:49She was in her 30s, polished, very pretty, and she was looking at the door behind me in a way
13:53that told me exactly who she was waiting for.
13:55Emilio came in 30 seconds later.
13:57He stopped, swept his eyes across the flowers, then across me, and something in his face went immediately soft and
14:02that way it only does when it's just us.
14:04Hello, wife.
14:05I missed you.
14:06He dropped kisses on my forehead.
14:08I held his forearms and forgot for a moment that there was a third person in the room.
14:13You must be Mr. Reyes.
14:15I'm Ollie.
14:16I'm helping Mrs. Reyes with the wedding florets.
14:18Yes, Emilio looked at all the flowers again.
14:20How many flowers does a wedding need?
14:22As many as I like.
14:23You told me I could have whatever I wanted.
14:26He leaned in close, eyes warming.
14:29I was thinking of something else entirely when I said that.
14:32I shoved his chest.
14:33He laughed and pulled me into his side.
14:36I didn't notice Ollie's expression yet.
14:39I would.
14:42The roses were imported from Bulgaria, apparently.
14:46Perfect for expressing passion.
14:48A good fit for your character, sir.
14:50I looked at Emilio.
14:52He was looking at me.
14:54What do you think?
14:55They look pretty.
14:56Ollie pivoted to Lily's before I finished the sentence.
14:59They opened with just a little attention.
15:01And her eyes lingered on Emilio the way eyes linger when they're not really looking at flowers.
15:07They look cheap.
15:09Then orchids.
15:11High main taint in it.
15:12But a man like you can definitely afford to spoil someone.
15:15Stop.
15:16Both of them looked at me.
15:18I know what you're doing.
15:20And I don't like it.
15:22Ollie gave me a polished, innocent smile.
15:25Mrs. Reyes, I assure you...
15:27It's Mrs. Reyes.
15:28You're flirting with my man.
15:30In my house.
15:32I don't like that.
15:33Emilio made a sound that was almost a laugh.
15:36He lowered his mouth to my ear.
15:37You're about to become a mob queen.
15:39Show her your claws.
15:41I turned back to Ollie.
15:42You're fired.
15:43You heard my wife.
15:44Security arrived.
15:46She went.
15:47The door closed.
15:49Emilio was grinning.
15:50You called me your man.
15:51Because you are.
15:54I told him he was sleeping on the couch.
15:57In respect, this was optimistic of me.
16:00For what sin exactly?
16:01You didn't shut her down.
16:03You just stood there.
16:04I was looking at you all the time.
16:06I didn't hear a word she said.
16:07That's not the point.
16:09Couch.
16:10I turned to walk away.
16:11He grabbed my wrist.
16:12I had about one second of thinking I'd won before he lifted me over his shoulder like
16:17I was a bag he was rearranging.
16:20I squealed.
16:21I couldn't help it.
16:22Put me down.
16:25You'll be down when I decide you're down.
16:27He carried me out of the room while I laughed and hit his back and told him he was ridiculous.
16:31I have ignored all of it with complete serenity.
16:34On the other side of the city, in the abandoned house where Franco had died, Damien moved through
16:38the filthy rooms alone.
16:39He stopped at the body, crouched down, studied what was left of the man who had been his instrument.
16:45He stood up slowly.
16:47Coward.
16:49He looked around at the decay, the silence, the ruined plan.
16:54Then he pulled out his phone.
16:57Guess I'm on my own now.
17:00The letter appeared with breakfast.
17:04Good morning, wife.
17:05You got a letter.
17:07I read the first line and it went completely still.
17:10It was an admission letter.
17:11Nursing school.
17:12I never applied for this.
17:13I did.
17:14He said it casually like it was obvious.
17:16Like the most natural thing in the world was for a poster boff to submit nursing school
17:20applications on behalf of a woman he'd coerced into a contract marriage.
17:23How did you even know I wanted to go back?
17:26He stopped moving.
17:27Turned to look at me with an expression I'd never seen on him before.
17:31Completely serious.
17:32Completely open.
17:33The night you saved me, you said you were a nursing school dropout.
17:37The storage room.
17:39The blood.
17:41His voice fading in and out as I pressed gauze to his chest, trying to keep him here.
17:46I'm a nursing school dropout.
17:49You'll survive.
17:50He'd been carrying that for months.
17:52I listened to everything you say.
17:54He took my hand and kissed the back of it.
17:56Told me the semester started on the 18th.
17:57Two weeks.
17:58He'd arranged bodyguards.
17:59I started to object.
18:00He said two.
18:01Not a convoy.
18:02And I let it go.
18:02Then I sat very still, looking at the letter.
18:05The 18th.
18:06My period was late.
18:08More than late.
18:09I thought about the soreness I'd been ignoring for a week, and a cold plerry moved through me.
18:14Fast and certain.
18:16Bathroom.
18:18I was already gone.
18:22I sat on the bathroom floor for a long time.
18:26The test was in my hand.
18:28Two lines, unmistakable, sitting there in the morning light like the simplest and most complicated fact in the world.
18:36Pregnant.
18:37I pressed my palm flat against my stomach.
18:39Nothing felt different yet.
18:41The same body, the same skin.
18:43But somewhere in there, something had started.
18:45Something that was half me and half the man in the kitchen who had kissed the back of my hand
18:49and said,
18:50I listen to everything you say.
18:51The man who had carried me out of that building.
18:53Who said you own me and meant it with his whole body.
18:56The man I needed to tell.
18:58I thought about what it meant to be pregnant with the cartel king's child.
19:01The leverage of it.
19:03The danger of it.
19:04The way a baby becomes a weapon in this world, whether you want it to or not.
19:07I thought about Tomos.
19:09About all the traps I'd walked into already.
19:12And then I stopped thinking about danger and just felt it.
19:16I'm going to be a mother.
19:18Emilio is going to be a father.
19:20I wiped my face.
19:21Stood up.
19:22Opened the door.
19:24Diego was in the hall.
19:26Where's Emilio?
19:27Meeting, miss.
19:29With Damian.
19:30Take me to him.
19:31Please.
19:32It's important.
19:34The boss doesn't like to be disturbed.
19:36But something in my face must have convinced him.
19:39He nodded.
19:42I followed him out.
19:43The test folded in my palm.
19:45My heart running ahead of my feet.
19:50Diego walked me to the study door and left.
19:52I could hear voices inside.
19:54Emilio and Damrian.
19:55Low and urgent.
19:57I raised my hand to knock and stopped.
19:59The test was still in my palm.
20:01Two lines.
20:02The most important thing I'd ever held.
20:04Then Imadio's voice cut through the door.
20:06Mia's cousin?
20:07He's a fucking clown.
20:09My hand dropped.
20:10I stood very still.
20:12I knew I should walk away.
20:14I knew that eavesdropping on the Cartel King's private meetings was the kind of thing that
20:18ended badly in this world.
20:19I pressed my ear to the door anyway.
20:22He could have been useful.
20:24He's Mia's only blood relative.
20:26Tied to Palosio's mob.
20:29He was leverage.
20:31What the hell is going on with you?
20:34I'm just saying, as the East Coast Cartel King, you could play more strategically.
20:38Like, not shooting your cousin-in-law in the head.
20:41My blood went cold.
20:46I couldn't move.
20:48What I have with Mia is none of your fucking business.
20:51Damian said something else.
20:52Something about fixing things with her.
20:55Keeping Tomas alive as a peace offering.
20:57But the words were coming through water now, muffled and distant.
21:01Shooting your cousin-in-law in the head.
21:04Tomas was dead.
21:07Emilio had killed him.
21:09My cousin, the only blood family I'd left, the person whose life I'd accepted a mob marriage
21:13to save, and Emilio had shot him.
21:16While Tomanas was under his roof.
21:18While I was sleeping down the hall, thinking I'd kept him safe.
21:21Damian said something about the forged will come next.
21:24Lying about her inheritance just to marry her.
21:27A sound at the door.
21:29Emilio's voice sharpened.
21:31Who's there?
21:36I turned and ran.
21:39I was packing before I fully decided to pack.
21:42The suitcase was open on the bed, and my hands were moving.
21:45And the test was still in my fist.
21:47I don't know why I kept holding it.
21:49And Emilio came through the door, 20 seconds later, face pale.
21:53Wait.
21:54What are you doing?
21:56What does it look like?
21:57Mia, let's talk.
21:58I don't negotiate with the devil.
22:00I tried to pass him.
22:02He grabbed my arm.
22:03Stop.
22:04Let's talk.
22:05I jerked off for free.
22:06You lied.
22:07You killed my cousin.
22:09Then you lied again.
22:11There's nothing left to say.
22:12I have exhaled, sharp and frustrated.
22:14Is killing your scumbag cousin really that big of a deal?
22:17I stared at him.
22:18I waited for a moment to feel shocked, but there was none left.
22:20Of course he said that.
22:21Of course.
22:22He was a criminal boss who ran an empire built on violence,
22:24and I had somehow convinced myself that the version of him who kissed my forehead
22:27and listened to everything I said was the real one.
22:30Does a human life mean anything to you?
22:33I'm a criminal boss.
22:35You knew that when you signed the contract.
22:39Which you forged.
22:41My aunt never wanted me to marry you, did she?
22:45A long silence.
22:47He didn't deny it.
22:49You added the marriage clause to trap me.
22:51So what?
22:52I run a mob.
22:54Be grateful I didn't take you by force.
22:56The words landed like a slap.
22:58Grateful.
22:58He wanted me to be grateful.
23:00So grateful.
23:01Grateful you dragged me into this hell,
23:04got my cousin killed, and got me
23:05The test was still in my hand.
23:08I looked down at it.
23:09The two lines looked back.
23:10You'll never know, I thought.
23:12You don't deserve to.
23:14I zipped the suitcase shut.
23:18Just let me go, Emilio.
23:20You know I can't.
23:21In one motion, I reached across him and grabbed the gun from his hip.
23:24I had it pressed against myself before I'd thought about what I was doing.
23:28The barrel cold against my ribs.
23:30My hand shaking.
23:31Tears running down my face.
23:32Mine.
23:34His voice had changed completely.
23:36All the cold stripped out of it.
23:38Either you let me walk out,
23:40or I pull this trigger.
23:44He went very still.
23:46Then he extended his hand.
23:48Palm up.
23:48The way you'd extend a hand to a frightened animal.
23:51Give me the gun,
23:52and I'll let you leave.
23:54Just like that?
23:56Yes.
23:58You know I can't say no to you.
24:00Just give me the gun.
24:02Please.
24:03The please undid something in my chest.
24:06I hated that it did.
24:08After a long moment, I laid the gun in his palm.
24:12He tucked it away without breaking eye contact.
24:14We can fix this.
24:15We can pretend none of this happened.
24:18I can't pretend.
24:20Everything between us was built on lies.
24:22He stepped closer.
24:23His voice dropped.
24:25Thick with something he was fighting to contain.
24:27My feelings for you aren't lies.
24:29A tear ran down my face.
24:31I looked at his face.
24:32I really looked at it.
24:34This man who had saved me and lied to me and killed my cousin and kissed my forehead in the
24:38morning.
24:39All of it true at the same time.
24:41None of it simple.
24:42I took his hand.
24:43I placed the ring in his palm.
24:45Goodbye, Emilio.
24:46He stood frozen, fist closing around the ring, as I walked out the door.
24:53I went to Serena's.
24:55She opened the door before I finished knocking, took one look at my face, and pulled me inside without asking
25:01Any questions?
25:02She made tea.
25:03She handed me tissues.
25:05She sat with me on the sofa and let me cry until there was nothing left.
25:08Then she waited.
25:09He killed my cousin.
25:13I have lied about the inheritance.
25:17Everything from the beginning was fabricated to get me into that house.
25:22Serena was very quiet.
25:23She handed me another tissue.
25:28Too quiet.
25:31I looked at her.
25:33Serena.
25:35He killed my cousin.
25:37Why aren't you shocked?
25:38She couldn't meet my eyes.
25:41Serena.
25:43Why do you look like you already knew?
25:45A long silence.
25:46The kind that means the answer is going to change things.
25:49I brought Thomas to him.
25:51The room tilted.
25:53What?
25:57My dad is a Mafia Don.
26:00I heard the words.
26:02I processed them in a very distant, clinical way.
26:06The way you process information that is too large to fit into the ordinary world.
26:11You lied to me.
26:15For five years.
26:17I hid it to protect you.
26:19So you'd never get dragged into this mob world.
26:23But then Emilio showed up and...
26:24Did you know I killed my cousin?
26:26The silence that followed was the worst silence of my life.
26:30Yes.
26:32Emilio shot your cousin in front of me.
26:34I pulled away from her.
26:36She reached for my arm.
26:38Mine.
26:39Mia, please.
26:40My family doesn't change who I am.
26:42What you mean to me.
26:45You sound just like him.
26:47I lied to protect you.
26:51You watched him die and you didn't tell me?
26:54I stood up.
26:55She scrambled after me.
26:57Saying my name.
26:58Reaching for my arm.
26:59I got to the door.
27:01Mia, wait.
27:02We're done, Serena.
27:04I ran.
27:07The street was cold.
27:10Serena chased me for half a block before her phone rang and she stopped.
27:13I didn't look back.
27:14I just walked.
27:15Arms wrapped around myself.
27:16No destination.
27:17No plan.
27:18Just moving because stopping felt like drowning.
27:20I thought about my mother who had died and left me in a world I didn't understand.
27:24I thought about Toas who had sold me to a monster for gambling debts.
27:27I thought about the ring I'd left in Emilio's hand and the test still folded in my pocket
27:31and the fact that I was pregnant and alone in the dark with nowhere to go.
27:34The city moved around me, indifferent.
27:37A car slowed alongside me.
27:39I squinted.
27:40Emilio?
27:41The door opened.
27:42Not Emilio.
27:44Damien.
27:48Relax.
27:49I'm not dragging you anywhere.
27:51So what do you want?
27:53I have orders to stay with you.
27:55But...
27:56I can take you to a safe house.
27:59Emilio won't know.
28:00He watched my face.
28:01Patient.
28:02Almost gentle.
28:03I can even get you out of the country.
28:07I stared at him.
28:09Damien was smiling that easy smile.
28:11Hands in his pockets.
28:12Like he was offering him a ride to the airport.
28:14Nothing in his face looked wrong.
28:16Why would you help me?
28:17You're his brother.
28:18I'd like to balance out some of the bad I've done.
28:21I'll handle your phone.
28:22He put a tracker on it.
28:24It even works when it's off.
28:26I looked down at my phone.
28:27Then at him.
28:29Then at the dark street stretching in both directions with nowhere to go.
28:33I handed him the phone.
28:34He took it and I climbed into the back seat.
28:37I was so tired.
28:38I was so tired of being afraid.
28:40Of running.
28:41Of trying to stay one step ahead of men with more power than I would ever have.
28:44The leather seat was warm.
28:46Damien got into the front without speaking.
28:48There's water in the back if you need it.
28:52I reached for the bottle.
28:53Opened it.
28:55Took a long drink.
28:56Thank you Damien.
28:57You're a good man.
28:58He watched me in the rear view mirror and moved something across his face that I didn't have time to
29:02read.
29:05The water tasted like water.
29:08That was the last thing I registered clearly.
29:11Then the edges of the window started to blur.
29:13The streetlights smeared into long yellow streaks.
29:16My hand felt very heavy.
29:18I looked down at the bottle in my lap and thought, distantly, that something was wrong.
29:23What?
29:26The thought didn't finish.
29:28I slumped sideways and the world went out like a light.
29:33In the front seat, Damien watched me through the mirror.
29:36His easy smile had changed into something else entirely.
29:40Something that had been waiting behind it all along.
29:44Sweet little Mia, you have no idea what's coming.
29:47For you or for my arrogant half-brother.
29:53We're on our way.
29:55Have the island ready.
29:56Outside, the city light slid past and fell behind us.
29:59And Emilio's mansion disappeared into the darkness.
30:01And I was gone before I knew I'd been taken.
30:06I woke up to the sound of the ocean.
30:08That was wrong.
30:09I lived in the city.
30:11The city didn't sound like that.
30:13Steady and vast and indifferent.
30:15Like breathing from a long way away.
30:17I lay still for a moment with my eyes closed.
30:20Waiting for the world to reassemble itself into something familiar.
30:23It didn't.
30:24I opened my eyes.
30:26An unfamiliar room.
30:27Whitewashed walls.
30:28Wooden shutters.
30:29Light coming in sideways in gold.
30:31Not a hotel.
30:32Not anywhere I'd ever been.
30:34I got up and went to the window.
30:35I got up and went to the window.
30:37Trees.
30:37Ocean.
30:38Nothing else in any direction.
30:40The door opened behind me.
30:42Good.
30:42You're awake.
30:44I turned around.
30:47I turned around.
30:48He was standing in the frame.
30:49Hands in his pockets.
30:50Looking pleased with himself in that particular way that meant something had gone exactly according
30:55to plan.
30:55Where am I?
30:57Somewhere no one can find you.
30:59Not even my brother.
31:01The memory came back all at once.
31:04The car.
31:05The water.
31:06The bottle in my hand.
31:07The edges of the window blurring.
31:09You kidnapped me.
31:11Smart girl.
31:13I see why Emilio kept you around.
31:16But not smart enough.
31:18He moved into the room.
31:20And I stepped back until the wall found me.
31:26He told me about Palacio.
31:28Not the way I'd understood it.
31:30Franco as Emilio's enemy, using me as a pawn.
31:32Damien had been behind Franco the whole time.
31:34He'd found my cousin the moment he ran my background check.
31:37He'd built the trap, handed Tomas to Franco, and watched the whole thing play out from inside
31:40Emilio's house.
31:41Franco Palano was a fucking idiot.
31:44But he was a useful one until your cartel king shot him in the head.
31:49My cousin died because of you.
31:51His expression didn't change.
31:53I slapped him.
31:55His head snapped sideways.
31:57A beat of absolute silence.
31:59Then he turned back.
32:00And the easy smile was gone.
32:02Replaced by something that had always been underneath it.
32:06He grabbed my throat and slammed me into the wall.
32:09You're lucky I need you.
32:12Or I'd choke the life out of you right now.
32:15His eyes moved over me in a way that made my skin crawl.
32:18If my cold-hearted brother is obsessed with you,
32:20there must be something worth exploring.
32:23He leaned in.
32:25I bit him.
32:26Hard.
32:30He pulled back with a snarl, and I saw his arm drawn back.
32:33Don't!
32:34Please!
32:35I'm pregnant!
32:35His fist stopped.
32:37The room went very quiet.
32:39Damien stared at me, the Huey draining out of his face,
32:41and being replaced by something more dangerous.
32:44Calculation.
32:44You're pregnant.
32:46With Emilio's baby?
32:48I nodded.
32:49My throat ached where his hand had been.
32:51He stepped back.
32:52Then he started laughing.
32:53Really laughing.
32:54The kind that fills a room.
32:56And I stood against the wall and watched him and felt a cold, creeping dread.
33:00Oh, this is gold.
33:01Palami actually pulled it off.
33:02I thought his plan to knock you up was ridiculous.
33:04Emilio would never.
33:05Never what?
33:06There's a rumor he's infertile.
33:08Maybe it's real.
33:09Maybe he spread it so women wouldn't chase him.
33:10Either way, you and that baby just changed everything.
33:13He headed for the door, still grinning.
33:15What are you going to do to me?
33:17He turned, one hand on the frame.
33:20Relax.
33:22I was going to let my men have some fun with you.
33:25But now, I need that baby unharmed.
33:31He told me about the island.
33:34Pacific.
33:35Private.
33:37Surrounded by his army.
33:38And buried in the ground all around the house.
33:41Explosives.
33:42Enough to bring everything down.
33:43Triggered by a detonator he kept on his person.
33:46If Emilio tries anything, boom.
33:49Then he left me there.
33:50I slid down the wall and sat on the floor and tried to think.
33:54The ocean kept making its vast in a mysterious sound outside the shuttered window.
33:59You're on a private Pacific island.
34:02Surrounded by a full army.
34:04With bombs underneath you.
34:06I pressed both hands flat against my stomach.
34:09I'm going to get us out of here.
34:11I didn't know if that was true.
34:12I said it anyway because someone had to.
34:15I thought about the note Emilio had tucked into a nursing school envelope.
34:20I listened to everything you say.
34:22I thought about the way he'd lifted me out of Franco's building like I was something worth carrying.
34:27I thought about his fist closing along my ring.
34:30Find me, I thought.
34:31Please find me.
34:33The door remained closed.
34:35The ocean kept breathing.
34:37I stayed on the floor and I waited.
34:41On the third night, a hand touched my shoulder.
34:44I jolted awake, already pulling back, already opening my mouth to scream and a hand covered it.
34:49A familiar weight, a familiar smell.
34:51Mia, it's me.
34:53A voice in my ear, barely a breath.
34:55I collapsed into him.
34:57He held me for exactly three seconds.
34:59His arms around me, his chin on my head, the reality of him solid and overwhelming.
35:04And then he pulled back and cupped my face and checked me the way he'd checked me in the warehouse
35:08all those months ago.
35:09Systematic and frantic at the same time.
35:12Are you hurt?
35:13No.
35:13How did you-
35:14Serena.
35:15And your mafia princess friend has a helicopter.
35:17He pressed his lips to my forehead, quick and fierce.
35:19Follow my lead, we're heading to the chopper.
35:21Stay close, stay quiet.
35:22He had a gun in his hand.
35:23He opened the door, checked the corridor, and guided me out into the darkness.
35:29We made it thirty feet.
35:31Damien's voice came from ahead of us, easy and amused, like he'd been waiting.
35:36Since when does the cartel king use knockout drugs to sneak in?
35:40Emilio stopped.
35:41Gun raised.
35:42Since when do you skip dinner?
35:47Damien stepped out of the shadows.
35:49In his hand, raised between two fingers like a cigarette, was the detonator.
35:55Since the day dad handed you the poster.
35:58His thumb hovered over the button.
36:01Emilio moved in front of me without thinking about it, blocking me with his body.
36:05Drop the gun, brother.
36:10Emilio dropped it.
36:12Do you want the cartel?
36:14Fine.
36:14I'll give it to you.
36:16I don't want the stupid mob!
36:17It's you!
36:18It's always been you!
36:20His voice had broken open, and underneath the ease and the planning and the long, patient
36:24The game was somewhat rawer.
36:25Something that had been sitting in that house for years, growing in the dark.
36:29Then take me.
36:30Do whatever you want.
36:32But let Mia go.
36:33Don't drag her into this.
36:37It happened in less than a second.
36:39Emilio crossing the corridor in two strides, shoulder dropping, crashing into his brother.
36:42The detonator flew from Damien's hand.
36:44But Damien's smile came back.
36:46Colder than before.
36:47No.
36:49Your offspring isn't getting out today, either.
36:52He turned to me.
36:54Slowly.
36:54And in that moment, nothing in his face was the cartel king.
36:57Nothing was the man who made rooms go silent and had people removed.
37:01He just looked at me like I was the only thing in the room that mattered.
37:05You're pregnant.
37:06I nodded.
37:08His jaw set.
37:09He turned back to Damien.
37:12Not happening.
37:16Then we all die.
37:18His thumb moved.
37:19Emilio lunged.
37:21He of them hit the window behind them and went through it in a shower of glass and frame
37:25and night air.
37:30Emilio!
37:32Silence!
37:33Then the night outside was just the ocean and the darkness and the sound of my own breathing,
37:39ragged and desperate.
37:41I ran for the door.
37:44They were both on the ground outside.
37:47Unconscious.
37:48Not moving.
37:50Damien face down in the dirt.
37:52Emilio on his back with his eyes closed and one arm thrown wide and glass in his hair.
37:57I heard voices.
37:58Serena.
37:59Frame.
37:59Running toward me.
38:00I dropped to my knees beside Emilio.
38:06Emilio!
38:07Emilio!
38:07Wake up!
38:08We have to go!
38:10Mine!
38:11Marco was already beside me, hands on Emilio's chest, pressing and counting.
38:16I sat there and held Emilio's hand and watched Marco's face and couldn't breathe.
38:22Come back.
38:24Come back.
38:25Come back.
38:29Emilio coughed.
38:31His chest heaved.
38:33His eyes opened.
38:35Everyone lets out a breath at the same time.
38:38I'm okay.
38:40I'm okay.
38:41We need to move.
38:42He started to get up.
38:43I helped him, my hands shaking.
38:45Chopper's ready!
38:46This way!
38:47Emilio stood, unsteady, and looked at Damien's limp body.
38:53You go ahead.
38:55I need to finish him.
38:59I'm not leaving you.
39:01Do you want to watch me shoot my own brother?
39:04I don't care!
39:07You're pregnant, Mia.
39:09Go.
39:09His voice was gentle, but final.
39:12The voice that meant he'd already decided.
39:14Promise you'll come.
39:16I promise.
39:17Serena took my arm.
39:18I let her pull me away, looking back over my shoulder at Emilio standing over his brother
39:22in the dark.
39:23He didn't look back at me.
39:24He was already somewhere else.
39:26Somewhere cold and necessary.
39:27He's going to be fine.
39:29He's Emilio Reyes.
39:30We were twenty yards from the house, then thirty.
39:33The helicopter was somewhere ahead, its blades beginning to turn.
39:36I kept walking.
39:37He promised.
39:38He promised.
39:39He promised.
39:43The world turned white.
39:44The sound hit me a full second after the light.
39:47A wall of pressure and noise that knocked me sideways.
39:50Serena's grip is tearing loose.
39:52I turned around.
39:54The house was on fire.
39:56Not catching fire.
39:57Already on fire.
39:58Instant and total.
39:59A column of flame reaching up into the dark sky.
40:02The windows are gone.
40:03The roof is already folding.
40:05The air tasted like smoke.
40:08I couldn't move.
40:09Serena was saying something.
40:11Marco was saying something.
40:12The helicopter blades were louder now.
40:14Someone was pulling at my arm and I couldn't move because Emilio was in that house and he
40:19He had promised and he was in that house.
40:21No!
40:22The word came out of me like something being torn out.
40:24No!
40:25Emilio!
40:26Serena had both arms around me from behind holding me back.
40:29I fought her.
40:30I don't remember deciding to fight her.
40:32My body just refused to go anywhere without him.
40:34Mine!
40:34Let me sit there!
40:36He's Mia!
40:37Stop!
40:38Marco was already running back toward the burning house, calling into his radio.
40:42I stopped fighting.
40:44I just stood there in Serena's arms and watched the fire eat the house and felt the heat on
40:48my face and thought about a man in a study saying, I listened to everything you say, and
40:53a man in a corridor with his shoulder dropping and his body going through glass.
40:57Going through glass to keep a detonator out of his brother's hand.
41:00Going through glass for me.
41:01The flames climbed higher.
41:03The night was orange and black.
41:05I pressed both hands over the small life inside me and I waited and I waited and I waited
41:12and no one came.
41:15Five months later.
41:17That's what the subtitle would say if my life were a movie.
41:20Five months later.
41:21A neat jump cut.
41:24All the grief and the waiting and the nights I lay awake with one hand on my stomach and
41:28the other pressed to my mouth to keep quiet, compressed into three words and a hard cut to
41:33a woman on a street corner in white gloves.
41:35Me.
41:36I'm eight months pregnant and I'm wearing white gloves and I'm standing on a sidewalk
41:40watching a homeless man run.
41:42He thinks he's running from the two cars that boxed him in.
41:47He's not.
41:48He's running away from me.
41:50The car door opens.
41:52I step out.
41:54Damien stops.
41:56He looks older.
41:57Thinner.
41:58Five months on the street will do that.
42:00Five months knowing that the woman whose house you burned out is carrying the air to
42:04the Reyes cartel and is looking for you.
42:06That will do it too.
42:07I pull off one glove, finger by finger.
42:11Hello brother-in-law.
42:15My men take him before he can speak.
42:19Wait.
42:20Mine.
42:21We should talk.
42:23Yes.
42:24We should.
42:27The basement of the Reyes mansion is very quiet.
42:30I had Diaz repaint it.
42:32New lighting.
42:33A good chair for me to sit in, positioned at exactly the right distance.
42:37I learned from the best after all.
42:39I watched Emilio run this house for months.
42:41I know how it's done.
42:42I sit with my legs, monkfish crossed, and my hands folded over my stomach, and I watch
42:48Two of my men work.
42:49Mine!
42:50Damien screams.
42:51He begs.
42:52He says my name like it's a password that will open a door, like some part of him still
42:56believes I'm the nursing student from the fast food restaurant who cried on a sofa and
43:00couldn't look Emilio in the eye.
43:01I'm not her anymore.
43:03Please stop this!
43:05Mine!
43:06I give the men a look.
43:07They hit harder.
43:09After a while I raise a hand and they stop.
43:11The basement goes quiet, except for Damien's raggled breathing and the distant sound of
43:15the city outside.
43:15I stand up and walk over to him.
43:21Tell me where he is.
43:23Damien looks up at me through blood.
43:26His smile is still there, somehow cracked and terrible.
43:30Come closer.
43:32I'll tell you.
43:41He's rotting in hell, just like you will be, you stupid.
43:46I straightened up.
43:48I pulled the gun from the back of my waistband.
43:52The one Diego had started leaving on my night state three months ago, after the first two
43:57attempts on my life, after I'd started running this operation alone.
44:01And I shot Damien once.
44:03He slumped.
44:03I stood there for a moment and looked at him.
44:06Emilio's brother.
44:07The man who had built every trap I'd walked into.
44:09The man who had burned down the house with Emilio inside it.
44:12Then I peeled off the other glove, folded both of them together, and walked out.
44:20Diego was waiting in the Rorto with a package.
44:23Mail address to your name, ma'am.
44:24He held it out.
44:26The label read Mia Espinoza.
44:28I frowned.
44:30I thought I changed my last name on everything.
44:32It could be from before.
44:36I took it.
44:40I opened it in the study.
44:43A file.
44:45Legal documents.
44:46A will.
44:47Notarized.
44:47Witness.
44:48Dated three months before Lescia died.
44:50I read the first page and had to sit down.
44:53One hundred million dollars.
44:55Her actual inheritance.
44:56Not the fabricated claws Amicio had invented to get me into his house.
45:00The real thing.
45:01The money she'd spent her life accumulating.
45:03And she had always meant to give to the niece she wrote letters to and called her girl.
45:06Where it all started, I thought.
45:08Diego stood near the door.
45:11Mr. Reyes would have found you regardless of the inheritance.
45:17Sounds like him.
45:19I turned to the last page, and a small piece of paper fell out.
45:22Folded once.
45:23The size of a fortune cookie slip.
45:25I picked it up.
45:26The handwriting was Emilio's.
45:27I'd seen it on a hundred things.
45:29Notes.
45:29Contracts.
45:30The margin of a book he'd left open on the kitchen counter.
45:32I'd have known it anywhere.
45:33It said, love at first sight.
45:35I sat there holding that small piece of paper for a long time.
45:39Then I pressed it against my chest and closed my eyes.
45:41I'll find you Emilio Reyes.
45:43Wherever you are.
45:47He was in Sicily.
45:48I didn't know that yet.
45:50I knew it the way you know things when you've been running someone's empire for five months
45:54and you've learned to read Diego's face.
45:56There was somewhere he wouldn't look.
45:58Some piece of information that lived just behind his careful professional expression.
46:02But he wouldn't tell me, and I understood why.
46:05Emilio had told him not to.
46:07So I waited.
46:09On a balcony overlooking the Mediterranean, a man in a wheelchair watched the ocean.
46:14He'd been watching it for weeks.
46:16The light changed.
46:17The water changed.
46:19I watched it all with the patience of someone who has decided not to go anywhere until they're ready.
46:24Serena flew to Sicily on a Tuesday.
46:27She found him on the balcony, thinner than she'd left him,
46:30the ocean wind moving through her hair.
46:32She dropped a photograph on his lap without greeting him first.
46:35In the photo, Damien.
46:37Dead.
46:38Emilio picked up the photo, looked at it for a long moment.
46:42That's my girl.
46:45She's gonna be pissed if you're not there when she gives birth.
46:49I can't see her like this.
46:51You could show up like a worm and she'd still love you.
46:54I'm tired of lying to my best friend.
46:57Again.
46:59She'll forgive you.
47:00Serena ground and sat down on the low wall beside his chair.
47:04The Mediterranean was the specific blue it gets in the late afternoon, almost violet at the edges.
47:09Come back with me tomorrow.
47:10I'm flying out in the morning.
47:12No.
47:14Emilio.
47:14I'll return when I can stand on my own feet.
47:18I want her to know I'm still the man who can protect her.
47:20And our baby.
47:22Serena stared at him for a long moment.
47:24Toxic masculinity from a cartel king.
47:26Who would have thought?
47:27A beat.
47:28You know, you're kinda cute in a wheelchair.
47:31Don't let your bodyguard hear that.
47:33He helps me to the bathroom.
47:35Serena laughed.
47:36A real laugh.
47:37Surprised out of her.
47:38She stood up and kissed the top of his head.
47:39Don't take too long.
47:41She walked out.
47:44Emilio stayed on the balcony until the light was gone.
47:49He reached into his pocket.
47:51The ring was small and cold and familiar.
47:54Mia's engagement ring.
47:56The one she'd placed in his palm in the bedroom and walked away from.
47:59He'd been carrying it since that night.
48:01Through the crash, through the window, through many surgeries he didn't fully remember.
48:06Through the months of physical therapy on this balcony overlooking the sea.
48:09He turned it in his fingers.
48:11He thought about the night in the alley when he'd looked up from the pavement and saw a woman he'd
48:15never met
48:15pressing gans to his chest and telling him to stop moving or he'd bleed more.
48:18He'd been half dead and delirious and he thought,
48:20I know you.
48:21I don't know you yet, but I know you.
48:23Lietia had talked about her for years.
48:25Her niece.
48:26The nursing student.
48:27The girl who sent letters and called every Sunday and had her mother's stubbornness
48:30and her own fierce particular kindness.
48:33He'd carried the shape of her before he knew her face.
48:35He closed his hand around the ring.
48:37I'm coming back to you, Mia.
48:39The ocean was dark now.
48:41The stars were coming out one by one over Sicily.
48:45I'm coming back.
48:49Two months later, I thought giving birth at home would be easier.
48:53I was wrong.
48:55It's never easy.
48:56I hate you.
48:57I hate you, Emilio Reyes.
49:00Almost there.
49:00One more push.
49:01I hate you.
49:03I pushed.
49:04The world split open and then there was a sound.
49:07Small and outrageous and completely true of itself.
49:11And the doctor was saying something I couldn't hear.
49:14And someone was crying and I thought it might be me.
49:16Ma'am, you need to stay with us.
49:18You haven't seen your baby.
49:19But I'm just so tired.
49:21I was tired in a way I had never been tired before.
49:24Down into the marrow, my body suddenly hollow and enormous at the same time.
49:28Stay.
49:29Stay.
49:29You have to stay.
49:30My eyes closed.
49:32Someone said my name.
49:33I tried to hold on.
49:34Then, at the edge of the light, a silhouette appeared in the doorway.
49:38Not Diego.
49:40Not Serena.
49:41Not a doctor.
49:42A silhouette that moved the way only one person in my life had ever moved.
49:49He was standing on his own feet.
49:50That was the first thing I registered.
49:52Not that he was there, not even that he was alive, but that he was standing.
49:55On his own two feet.
49:56In the doorway of my hospital room, wearing clothes I didn't recognize, thinner than I remembered,
50:01with a look on his face that I had no word for.
50:03Mine.
50:03My name in his voice.
50:05I had been so tired.
50:06A moment ago, the darkness had been pulling me down, and I had been letting it because
50:10I didn't have anything left to fight with.
50:12But my eyes opened.
50:14Emilio.
50:15He crossed the room.
50:16He dropped to his knees beside the bed.
50:17He took my face in both hands and pressed his forehead to mine.
50:20I felt him shaking.
50:21This man who never shook, who never showed anything, who had spent 32 years building a wall around
50:24himself and had spent six months tearing it down for me.
50:26He was shaking.
50:27Somewhere behind him, a baby was crying.
50:29Our baby.
50:29Ours.
50:30You came.
50:31I told you I was coming back.
50:32Outside the hospital window, the city was beginning its ordinary morning, entirely aware that
50:37something fundamental had just changed.
50:38Inside, I closed my eyes and held on to him and listened to the small, outrageous, perfect
50:42sound of our daughter announcing herself to the world.
50:45We were here.
50:45Both of us.
50:46Finally.
50:50This is what I know now.
50:51I know that love is not the clean, safe thing I thought it would be.
50:54When I was 22 and working at a fast food counter and keeping a wish list of what my life
50:58was
50:58Supposed to become, I thought love would feel like arriving somewhere.
51:01I thought it would be warm and certain and uncomplicated.
51:05It is none of those things.
51:08It is a man pressing gauze to a wound in a back room.
51:11It is a ring in a palm and a door closing and a house going up in flames.
51:17It is five months of running an empire I didn't ask for.
51:21Learning the weight of a gun and the patience required to wait for someone who promised to
51:25come back.
51:25He is not a good man in the simple sense.
51:28I know what he runs and what it costs, and I have made my peace with the distance between
51:33who he is out there and who he is in this room.
51:37Holding our daughter like she's the most fragile and important thing he's ever been handed.
51:41He is sitting in the chair beside my bed, and she is asleep on his chest and he is not
51:45looking at anything in the room except her.
51:47She has his dark eyes.
51:49She has, already, even at one day old, a particular expression of absolute conviction that I recognize
51:54from watching him walk into rooms.
51:55I saved a man in an alley once.
51:58I was 22 and afraid, and I had no idea what I was saving him into.
52:02Best mistake I ever made.
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