00:12Hello, everyone, and welcome to Totally Funny Animals.
00:15The show that knows animals are not just the amazing creatures we share the planet with,
00:18but they are also incredibly funny, whether they mean to be or not.
00:23I'm your host, Andy Woodhull, and I will be serving as your safari guide
00:27as we explore a menagerie of hilarious videos featuring animals from all over the world.
00:32We have also selected a few extra special videos that have been nominated to receive our Golden Paw Award,
00:39so you may want to take notes and see which of them you think is deserving.
00:42Let's get the party started by getting up close and personal with some of our favorites.
00:51Jimmy didn't need a pole.
00:57Not with fingers as tasty as his.
01:01They're like bony little worms.
01:04The tail end is the safe end.
01:08Until they hook a U-turn.
01:14Hey, hey, that's mine.
01:16Sorry, my bad.
01:20Jeremy wasn't scared of frogs at all.
01:23I'm scared because of what I got.
01:26But Sean, on the other hand...
01:28I'm just kidding.
01:28I'm just kidding.
01:29I'm just kidding.
01:31In his defense, until it started to take off,
01:35he thought it was just the statue of a plane.
01:41It was Tim's first time in Dogtown.
01:48Why do you keep driving?
01:51Where there's a will, there's a way.
02:06Do you have a favorite place to go out to eat?
02:08I do.
02:09It has great food at reasonable prices, and big portions, too.
02:13I always sit at the same table and have a great time.
02:16The place is called my mom's house.
02:19It's hard to get a table, but the service is very friendly.
02:24Well, if you're a squirrel, I think we may have found the perfect place for you and your squirrel family
02:29in this Golden Paw nominee.
02:31It's called the Nutty Bar.
02:39Feeling squirrely?
02:40Well, come on down to the Nutty Bar.
02:43After a full day of raiding bird feeders, fleeing from rabid dogs, and chasing your friends around and around various
02:50trees,
02:50you just want to gather up the family and head somewhere where everybody knows your name.
02:56They have all your favorites right on tap.
02:58Cashew Dunkle, Peanut Pilsner, Almendale, Pistachio Pale Ale, Walnut Stout, Sunflower Saison, and Pecan Porter.
03:06And their master mixologist, Nut Tender, constantly stocks the nut barrels so the good times will never run out.
03:14So get the shell down to the Nutty Bar, where good friends and good times mix like a party tray
03:20assortment.
03:20The Nutty Bar, now open for lunch.
03:27And now, quite possibly, the cutest thing you'll see today.
03:35When an alligator gets its prey in a death roll, it can be a brutal, gruesome sight.
03:42But when a baby gator is learning how, it is quite possibly the cutest thing you will see today.
03:51I know exactly what my dog is thinking when we lock eyes.
03:55Nine times out of ten, she's thinking, are you going to finish that?
03:59She does enjoy a french fry.
04:02It's fun to try and figure out what animals are really thinking.
04:09Well, if they didn't want me to have any, they wouldn't have left the cooler open, now would they?
04:14Let's see what they brought me.
04:16Ugh, gluten-free?
04:19Fat-free?
04:21Nuh-uh.
04:26Okay, now we're talking.
04:30That's empty.
04:33I'll get that later.
04:35Now we're talking.
04:37And I'll just enjoy this right next to the waves.
04:42Ah, hey.
04:44No, sir.
04:45Well, only because you called me sir.
04:52Yep.
04:53I'm stuck.
04:56A little help.
04:57A little help?
04:59No, no, no.
05:00I keep telling you.
05:02You want to look younger.
05:04You want your hair down.
05:06Down is better.
05:16This is starting to get very annoying.
05:20Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
05:22Wait, what?
05:24Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
05:25Enough.
05:31Coming up next, we're making new friends, making an entrance, and we'll need more of our nominees for tonight's Golden
05:38Paw, when Totally Funny Animals continues.
05:51Totally Funny Animals is back.
05:54And you won't believe what we have up our sleeve.
05:58It's a duck.
06:04The life of a bear is simple.
06:06All they need is a tree to scratch their back on, a healthy stock of honey, and a comfy place
06:11to sleep for weeks on end.
06:12Wait a second.
06:13I'm describing me.
06:16Anyway, let's take a look at a few more of the bear necessities.
06:24Officer Bugbee pulled this driver over for swerving erratically, ignoring street signals, and driving downstream through Old Salmon River.
06:33Hey, buddy.
06:36Come on out of there.
06:40Come on out.
06:42There you go.
06:44Come on, buddy.
06:45This sort of thing happens a lot on the rural beach.
06:51Curtis, just stand there.
06:52It was at that moment, Curtis reassessed how badly he needed that bucket of ice.
06:58Oh, Curtis, he's coming to you, dude.
07:00You better move.
07:03Habitat loss is a serious threat to the panda population.
07:07I've got it.
07:08Here it is.
07:09The door's open.
07:10Ready, hop down.
07:11She's looking.
07:11But automatic doors are a close second.
07:14Oh, no.
07:15Oh.
07:20For hours of non-stop fun, all Bernie needs is a piece of rope and a cool bath.
07:29And also a little privacy.
07:37I'd like to take a moment to talk about a remarkable little town called Ellisburg, Pennsylvania.
07:42Yeah.
07:43And if any of their 2,152 inhabitants are watching right now, they're totally freaking out.
07:49Go Tigers.
07:52Ellisburg is home to gently rolling hills, beautiful farmland, and raccoons.
07:57Raccoon's rambunctious enough to make it as our next Golden Paw nominee.
08:13And won't her family be excited to see her?
08:35Always an exciting time when Kimmy visits.
08:43What passionate food lover hasn't been told on more than one occasion that they eat like
08:48an animal?
08:49I hate that expression for two reasons.
08:51One, because it hurts my feelings.
08:54And two, because all animals eat differently.
08:57A pig shoves its snout in a trough.
08:59A bird pecks lightly at a piece of bread.
09:01And a thorny devil lizard drinks with its feet.
09:05That's actually where I draw the line.
09:07Try using a straw, thorny devil lizard.
09:11But no matter the technique, I guess it's always a feeding frenzy.
09:20Okay, Andy Taylor.
09:22Andy to Glenda.
09:25Ugh.
09:28I love that she's not freaking out.
09:31It's Bootsy's first egg roll.
09:33Yeah, my cat's missing, right?
09:35Nobody can see the cat.
09:36What are you doing?
09:38Found him.
09:40Get out!
09:46Oh my gosh, you blew my phone.
09:48Nutsy was always a pretty good forager.
09:51That's a slice of pizza.
09:53And that's a good day in Nutsy's book.
09:58It was the only way they could get Ginger to work out.
10:06Now how do we get her on the bench press?
10:13Another great haul from the farmer's market.
10:17They didn't have bags.
10:24If you're a pet owner, there are probably a few sounds you hear from the next room over that will
10:29always send a shiver down your spine.
10:31A lamp falling over, a hairball coming up, or a doggie revolution starting in your living room.
10:37My dog started a protest against the local squirrels.
10:41But even if it's something you never want to hear, it's still our next Golden Paw nominee.
10:51Mommy.
10:52What?
10:53I caught something, but please do not be mad at me.
10:56Never good to hear that.
10:57What?
10:57Be mad at me?
10:58What'd you catch?
11:00Hey!
11:01It kept falling in me.
11:04Kaden, take that thing outside.
11:08That's a raccoon.
11:10It's a little one.
11:12You can keep it.
11:13It doesn't even bite.
11:14Where did you find that?
11:16It's up in the trash.
11:17It kept floating in me.
11:20Take it outside.
11:21But I love him.
11:27Don't think about going anywhere, because coming up, we'll have more furtastic videos.
11:32And we'll reveal our last two nominees for tonight's Golden Paw, when Totally Funny Animals continues.
11:51I'm your animal anchorman, Andy Woodhull.
11:54And here now is your animal update.
11:57The newly formed Canine Four-Wheeling Society believes it has come up with a solution for
12:03dogs that have grown tired of simply going for a walk.
12:07And the dogs in the society's inaugural class are loving it.
12:12Of course, canine four-wheeling is not without hazards.
12:15There have been reports of ATV pileups when the student drivers all saw a squirrel at the
12:20same time and went for it.
12:22A canine four-wheeling society spokesperson commented, tell me more about this squirrel.
12:29The Amity Cove Sheriff's Department has reopened the beaches in time for the upcoming
12:35holiday season.
12:37Despite rumors that the shallow waters of the cove are shark-infested.
12:42When asked about the rumors, an Amity Cove spokesman simply said,
12:47There's not a shark problem.
12:49Good to know.
12:51And happy swimming.
12:52And if you're planning a trip to the hard-to-find Lamar Valley for a little vacation, we have
12:59an animal update travel tip.
13:02The best way to find the Lamar Valley is to simply ask a local for directions.
13:09Hey, excuse me, buddy.
13:10Could you give me some directions?
13:12I'm trying to get to Lamar Valley from here.
13:14Can you tell me what?
13:15Hey, hey, hey.
13:17Hey, I'm talking to you.
13:18Could you tell me how I get to Lamar Valley from here?
13:24Lamar Valley.
13:26How do I get to Lamar Valley from here?
13:28Yeah, I get so rude.
13:30This animal update has been brought to you by the friendly folks at Face Feeder.
13:35Yes.
13:36To get a bird's eye view of your favorite bird, just strap on the patent pending Face Feeder
13:41and make a meal out of a bird making a meal.
13:50People have different definitions of camping.
13:53My idea of roughing it is just staying at a two-star hotel with no concierge and room service
13:58that ends at eight.
14:00Some people like to go extreme, really live off the land, and bond with nature.
14:05Problem with extreme camping is sometimes the locals act like you're encroaching on their
14:09turf, and this is what happens to our next Golden Paw nominee.
14:18Looks like someone left the tent flap open.
14:23I wouldn't plan on getting that pillow back.
14:26All right, we are, we have a bit of a problem now because the lion is eating Andy's pillow.
14:32That is a problem.
14:34And we can't get out the car.
14:36Yeah, stay in the car.
14:38Stay in the car.
14:39It was in our tent, and then it came out with Andy's pillow.
14:45Now it's sitting under the tree over there.
14:51Dude, you can just go buy a new pillow.
14:55Oh, great.
14:56It's coming back.
14:57Looks like Andy and his pal are going to sleep in the car and check out the damage in the
15:01morning.
15:01I mean, how bad can it be?
15:07There's Andy's pillow.
15:09Dude, let the pillow go.
15:12Looks like the lion put some holes in our chair.
15:16Could be worse.
15:17You could have been sitting in it.
15:20There's Andy's pillow.
15:22Is that lion slobber on it?
15:25Lion slobber on it?
15:26I thought so.
15:28That was absolutely fun.
15:30I'd say, all things considered, you guys came out pretty good.
15:33Lion slobber notwithstanding.
15:40There's a reason they say cats have nine lives.
15:43It's because they need them.
15:45They need every single one of them.
15:49I'll prove it.
15:54It is always so sad to see a little kitty with low self-esteem.
16:01Catnibs kicking in.
16:05Yeehaw!
16:09Do you think you're supposed to be on the table?
16:12Do you care that you're not supposed to be on the table?
16:14He does not.
16:18Seriously?
16:20Come on.
16:21Come on.
16:22Fly off the couch.
16:23Yeah, Icarus.
16:24Fly!
16:26Come on.
16:27Fly.
16:28Whoop!
16:30She spent all morning doing the windows.
16:33And Jinx resented that.
16:41Pickles has made this leap a million times.
16:44But it is always a little more challenging immediately after Mama has waxed the furniture.
16:57Being a delivery man has to be one of the most stressful jobs there is.
17:01You never know what you'll encounter.
17:03A vicious dog?
17:04A tenacious cat?
17:05Old Lady Henderson answering the door with her robe open?
17:09But the ultimate delivery surprise also happens to be our final Golden Paw nominee.
17:20It's always the last delivery of the day.
17:36When we come back, we'll announce the winner of tonight's Golden Paw award.
17:41Think you know who will win?
17:42Well, you're going to find out when Totally Funny Animals continues.
17:46Woo!
17:48Woo!
17:49Woo!
17:49Woo!
17:50Woo!
17:51Woo!
17:51Woo!
17:52Woo!
17:52Woo!
17:57Woo!
18:07Woo!
18:08Woo!
18:08Cause this is good, yeah don't it feel good?
18:13I can feel the wind in my head now I can go anywhere now
18:17Cause this isn't it? Don't it feel good? Don't it feel good?
18:27This is a bird Don't it feel good?
18:41All right, gather up the family, dogs, cats,
18:44and gerbils included, because it's time to award
18:47one of tonight's nominees with the coveted Golden Paw.
18:51But first, here's another look at all of our contenders.
18:59We kicked it all off with the Nutty Bar.
19:02The place where everybody knows your name.
19:05As long as it's bushy or squirrely.
19:08And who could forget?
19:10Kimmy's home.
19:13And she brought a friend.
19:16Next, adoption day.
19:19I kept him.
19:20Can I keep him?
19:22He didn't know.
19:23And then, I'll just sleep in the van.
19:27The lion is eating Andy's pillow.
19:29Without my pillow.
19:30And finally, special delivery.
19:37Oh, that's not fragile.
19:42The competition was fierce and hairy.
19:46But the winner of tonight's Golden Paw Award is the Nutty Bar.
19:59The neighborhood bar where you can really let your tail down.
20:08I had a blast with you guys tonight.
20:10And I can't wait to see you next time on Totally Funny Animals.
20:14Good night, everybody.
20:15Good night, everybody.
20:30Good night, everybody.
20:39Ciao!
20:393-Minальias.
20:39Have a great night, everybody.
20:39Love you, honey.
20:42Bye!
20:42Bye!
20:42Bye!
20:43Bye!
20:43Bye!
20:44Bye!
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