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00:00Yeah, but I'm speaking in terms of a purely existential point of view on the subject.
00:04Yes, Steve, but once again, I think you're misinterpreting the thrust of Kierkegaard's gist.
00:08Hiya, fellas. How do you like my package?
00:10Hey, that's some package. What's in it, little buddy?
00:13I'll do a little something for Collie.
00:15Uh-huh.
00:16That's gonna marry me.
00:17Hey!
00:17Hey, man, congrats.
00:19Congratulations, bud.
00:20I haven't seen her around lately. Where is she?
00:23I'm sure she'll be in, though. She knows the fourth season of Remote Control starts tomorrow.
00:28Wow, our fourth season. Wasn't it just like yesterday when the very first show went on the air?
00:34Once again, you're wrong, my simple little friend. It's more like a year and a half ago.
00:37In fact, it's December 7th, 1987.
00:42Yeah. Yeah.
00:46Just open it. Stop complaining, all right? You stop it.
00:49I don't want to hear about the mess in your basement. All right, look at this.
00:52I'm putting on a game show. You want to talk cluttered? Look at this place.
00:56Who are these people?
00:57This is the studio audience. What are you? What are you, an idiot?
00:59Right over here at the bar. This is the bar. And you're gonna be sitting here the entire time, all
01:03right?
01:03You're still gonna be my announcer, right?
01:04I got nothing better to do.
01:06Beautiful, beautiful.
01:06Hey, who's the piano player?
01:07It's a guy named Steve. He takes tolls on the turnpike.
01:09Steve, hit it!
01:11Well, he's practicing. He's taking lessons. Anyway, this is where I stand, the big podium, all right?
01:16You see the big Zenith TV? I don't want you touching it, because it's rented, all right?
01:19It costs a lot of money. Don't you do that.
01:21Hey, who are these quips?
01:23Colin, those are the contestants. Be nice, say hello.
01:25Hi, how are you?
01:26Colin, a little conciliatory today.
01:29What's that?
01:30I gotta put fabric softener in.
01:31Hey, who's gonna be the hostess on this show, anyway?
01:34You know, that's right. I didn't think about that.
01:36Jesus, we'd better find him.
01:38Let's look.
01:41Oh, Jesus, Colin.
01:45Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, third row.
01:47Whoa, sweetheart.
01:48Excuse me. Excuse me, ma'am.
01:50Wow.
01:50Ma'am, yes, that's you, with the book.
01:53Would you ever consider being a game show hostess by any chance?
01:57Come on, we'll give you, we sing a ham mousse.
02:00Well, all right.
02:02Ah!
02:04What's your name?
02:06What's your name?
02:08What's your name?
02:09Marisol.
02:10Do you have a first name?
02:12Your first name?
02:12It's Marisol.
02:14That's your first name?
02:14Yeah.
02:15And your last name?
02:16Well, we'll worry about the semantic play line.
02:17Don't worry about it.
02:18Okay, folks, we have all the parts to the puzzle.
02:20It's time to play...
02:23Wheel of Fortune!
02:26Well, we still have some stuff to work out, I guess.
02:31Penny wasn't like the other kids.
02:36TV mattered.
02:37Nothing else did.
02:39Remote Control!
02:40The girl said yes, but he said no!
02:43Remote Control!
02:45Now he's got his own game show!
02:48Remote Control!
02:55And now, it's his basement!
02:58It's his room!
02:59It's his game show!
03:00The Quizmaster of 72 whooping cork lane, Ken Olber!
03:15Here we are!
03:16Finally, we are here!
03:18It is Remote Control time!
03:20I've been waiting for this my entire life.
03:22My own game show in my own basement.
03:24I can't believe it.
03:26I'm in control.
03:27Okay, we have contestants!
03:29My first contestants ready to go.
03:31Number one, his name is Chuck.
03:33Chuck goes to Temple University.
03:34He is a major in finance and philosophy.
03:40And he wants to work on Wall Street.
03:43Good luck, Chuck!
03:44Contestant number two, her name is Dina.
03:47She goes to Stony Brook, where she's a liberal arts major.
03:49She's from the island of Malta.
03:51That's right!
03:52Woo!
03:54Alright!
03:55Very good!
03:56Contestant number three, his name is Dan.
03:59He goes to American University, where he's a senior.
04:01He enjoys surfing, and he's on the rugby team there.
04:04Alright!
04:05Dan!
04:07Just slam your head into the table one time for us.
04:10Alright!
04:11Dan!
04:12Beautiful!
04:12He's ready to play the game.
04:14Here's my basement.
04:16Here's my TV.
04:17Here's my rules.
04:17You see a whole bunch of cable TV channels.
04:20You whip around the dial with your remote.
04:22I'm gonna ask questions about the channels you land on.
04:25The first person to buzz in and give the right answer
04:28has control of the almighty remote.
04:30That gives you the power to stay with that channel for big points
04:33or move along, okay?
04:35We drew straws out in the garage.
04:37Chuck, you have control.
04:39My friend, please choose the channel.
04:41Channel four.
04:42Okay, Chuck.
04:46MTV for five points.
04:48What album does this song appear on?
04:56Chuck for five.
04:58Big Country.
05:00No.
05:00We're looking for the name of the album.
05:01What album?
05:03Chuck.
05:04Chuck, you're not making any friends right off the bat.
05:06I'll tell you that.
05:07Oh, it was Knee Deep in the Hoopla.
05:10Starship.
05:11Starship.
05:11Knee Deep in the Hoopla.
05:12We built the city with the video.
05:13Chuck, you still have control?
05:16Five.
05:17Channel five.
05:19Taxi.
05:21For five points.
05:23Mamma Mia.
05:24What taxi character's mother did Julia DeVito play?
05:29Dan for five.
05:30Who is Louie?
05:31Louie is right.
05:33That's why Louie.
05:34Yeah.
05:36Who is Louie?
05:38Do I look like Alex Trebek, Dan?
05:40Come on.
05:40Who is that?
05:41All right.
05:42Let's go to four, please.
05:44Channel four.
05:45Back to MTV.
05:48Contestai, which I believe is the Latin plural.
05:50This is for ten points.
05:51Name the pizza delivery boy in the following video and the character he plays on TV.
05:57Who is Louie?
05:59Who is Louie?
05:59Who is Louie?
06:00Who is Louie?
06:02Who is Louie?
06:03Dan for ten.
06:04Alex P. Keaton.
06:06And we need the more information?
06:08Michael J. Fox.
06:09That's right for ten points.
06:10Dan!
06:10Dan!
06:12Woo!
06:14Uh-oh.
06:15It's dangerous to get a rugby guy excited, I hear, but you got 15 points.
06:20Okay, staying with MTV for 15 points now.
06:23Which one of these bands has been in the music business longer?
06:31Dan for 15.
06:33Beach Boys.
06:33The Beach Boys.
06:34Yes!
06:35Yeah!
06:36Woo!
06:37And there is no relation.
06:40Okay, Dan, you jumped out to a mega lead with 30 points.
06:44You're still off control.
06:45Let's go to number one, please.
06:46Channel one.
06:48Happy Days.
06:50For five points.
06:51By the time America got sick of hearing about the fawns, the Smithsonian Institute added this article of his Dan
06:57for Five.
06:58Leather jacket.
06:58Right, added it to his collection.
07:00Leather jacket.
07:02This guy's smoking.
07:04Dan!
07:05Uh, two, three.
07:09Balls!
07:09Hold your balls out.
07:11Hold them this way.
07:12It's snack time!
07:14All that TV watching builds up a little appetite, huh?
07:17Well, Dan, Colin is going to tell you what can be yours if you choose the correct fridge where Marisol
07:22is sexually lounging.
07:24From epic records, a collection of CDs of some fantastic artists like the fabulous Thunderbirds, Michael Jackson, Cindy Lauper, and
07:30much more.
07:32Okay, Dan, you have got to choose a fridge right now.
07:36I'd like to choose, uh, fridge number one, please.
07:38Fridge number one.
07:40And...
07:41And he got the CDs!
07:42Dan, you won him!
07:42Yeah!
07:43Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
07:45Alright!
07:46Way to go!
07:46Rock and roll!
07:47Congratulations, Dan.
07:49You have the lead, you have a prize, and you are still in control.
07:53Okay, uh, I'd like, uh, channel two, please.
07:56Moving to channel two.
07:59Remote Control Playhouse.
08:03Remote Control Playhouse.
08:05All you've got to do is guess what show the remote control players are performing a scene from.
08:12Geez, what happened to Sissy?
08:14She's as white as a sheep.
08:17She dreamt she had, she was wet in a hot tub with Mr. French.
08:23Oh, that was funny.
08:25Uh, top for five.
08:26A family affair.
08:27Family affair is right.
08:29Very good, Chuck.
08:30Chuck is on the board.
08:33Oh, wow.
08:34Alright, Chuck, my friend, you have control.
08:36Do you want to stay with, uh, where will Control Playhouse?
08:39No, no, no.
08:39Channel nine.
08:40Sorry, man.
08:42I'm sorry.
08:43I'm sorry.
08:44I'm sorry.
08:45Okay, where do you want to go, Chuck?
08:46Channel nine.
08:47Channel nine.
08:48Okay.
08:50Cartoons.
08:50We're talking cartoons in this channel.
08:52For five points.
08:53Where does the ever-fashionable Daffy Duck sport a white ring?
08:59Five.
09:01White ring.
09:01Daffy Duck, white ring.
09:02Daffy Duck around his neck.
09:04Around his neck.
09:04Come on.
09:04That's fine with your people.
09:06I make these as easy as possible.
09:09That's okay, Chuck.
09:10You're still in control, my friend.
09:12I'll see you at Channel nine.
09:13Staying with cartoons.
09:14The man will not learn his lesson.
09:15For ten.
09:16For ten points.
09:18Superman.
09:19Wonder Woman.
09:20Fat Man.
09:21And Aquaman.
09:21Banded together and formed their own-
09:23Dan, for ten.
09:25League of Justice.
09:26Right, formed their own-
09:27League of Justice.
09:31Whoa, Chuck, a quick-
09:33A quick buzzer finger.
09:34Nine.
09:34Go ahead, Dan.
09:35Rather Dan.
09:36Yes, Dan.
09:37Back to nine, Dan.
09:39You have fifteen points, contestants.
09:40And this kid's show,
09:42Fiegel the dog,
09:43Drooper the lion,
09:43Bingo the gorilla,
09:44and Snorkey the elephant.
09:46Chuck, for fifteen.
09:48Banana splits.
09:48That's, they were known collectively as banana splits.
09:51Woo!
09:51Okay.
09:53Yes!
09:54Yes!
09:55That's right, of course,
09:55that was the band Duran Duran was fashioned after.
09:58Okay, Chuck, you have twenty points.
10:00And go ahead.
10:02Two.
10:05Back to remote control Playhouse.
10:08Yes!
10:09Guess what scene this show.
10:11Here we go, Dan.
10:14Oh, Chrissy, I've got a date tonight with a girl who's got the biggest.
10:18Hands?
10:19No, Chrissy.
10:20You know what she's got.
10:22Well, she's got funny-looking hands, that's for sure.
10:25Oh.
10:26Oh, that was beautiful.
10:29Thank you, that was beautiful.
10:30Dan for ten.
10:31Three's Company.
10:32Three's Company is right, Dan.
10:36Dan.
10:37Dan.
10:38You still have control.
10:39Dan.
10:40Mom?
10:41In the round.
10:42Alright, I'll be right up.
10:43That's the end of round one.
10:45Dan, you're in the lead with fifty-five points.
10:47Chuck, you have twenty.
10:49Gina's in third with zero.
10:50Don't worry, Gina, you'll get on the board.
10:52In just a minute, we're gonna come back and play round two.
10:54And the person to survive till the end of that baby has a chance to win this.
10:59From Epic Records, five rockin' video albums of the band's Quiet Riot, The Clash, Don Johnson,
11:04Cyndi Lauper, and R.E.L.
11:06Plus, personally autographed albums from Ozzy Osbourne in Europe.
11:10Unitron's Variable Power Scope comes with a camera adapter to convert your 35mm camera
11:15to a 22mm telephoto lens.
11:18From Casio, the SK8 sampling keyboard, you can record a sample of any sound.
11:23From Raindrop the Balloon Pop and Play It Back from Casio.
11:27Dappy's Clear Lucite AM-FM Radio offers the best in both sound and light pink or blue neon lamp
11:32class and dramatic glow from Dappy, New York, when your remote control continues.
11:51All right, this is the Hall of Fame. He's my hero. You've got to know them. Do you know who
11:56this guy is?
11:57Bob Barker.
11:57Yeah, Bob Barker.
11:58No, it's Tom Kennedy. Do you know this guy?
12:01Bob Barker.
12:02Barker.
12:02Bob, you back. I can't believe you guys. You've got to know this guy.
12:05I don't know that guy.
12:06The guy from, uh, what do you call him?
12:08No.
12:08Bob Barker.
12:09I'm Bill Collins. I can't believe you people.
12:11Like me, Collins.
12:12Look, you don't know anything.
12:14Hey, are you going to play the game?
12:14Yeah, I'm going to play the game.
12:16You've got to learn these. It's very important.
12:19Por favor.
12:22Oh, my friend, we're back. It's round two.
12:26Round one was so much fun. Round two exactly the same way.
12:28The only difference, the point totals are doubled, but so is the danger.
12:35That's right.
12:36At any time, the big zenith could go off the air.
12:39If that happens, the person in last place is out of here.
12:44And right now, Dina, my friend from Malta, that is you.
12:48Dan is in the lead with 55 points.
12:51Chuck is in second place with 20 points.
12:54And Dan, you have control and a huge lead.
12:57Yes.
12:57But Chuck, you can catch them.
12:59Dina, get in the game.
13:00You can do it.
13:00We have money on you.
13:01All right.
13:02Channel one, please.
13:03Channel one.
13:05Sing along with Colin.
13:09For 10 points, sing the next two lines to this Eurythmics tune.
13:20Sweet dreams are made of these.
13:24Where I do disagree.
13:29Drop for 10.
13:30I travel the world and the seven seas.
13:35Everybody's looking for something.
13:37You are hot.
13:38You are hot.
13:3910 points.
13:44Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck.
13:46All right, Chuck, you're in control with 30 points in second place.
13:49I'm going for number one again.
13:51Staying with sing along.
13:53This is for 20 points, contestants.
13:57Sing the next two lines to this Bruce Springsteen hit.
14:09Dan for 20.
14:10Born in the USA.
14:13Felt it, Dan.
14:14Born in the USA.
14:16All right.
14:17All right.
14:18All right, Dan.
14:23You're in control.
14:24Channel two.
14:25Move along to channel two.
14:27Channel two.
14:28Public television only three.
14:30You ever say what I'm saying?
14:32Absolutely not.
14:33Only 3% of the population watches it.
14:35Only 1% actually knows the answer.
14:37For 10 points, what's the half-life of Strontium 90?
14:43Chuck?
14:44For 10?
14:4450 years.
14:46Chuck.
14:47But you look so earnest.
14:49You almost fooled me, Chuck.
14:50You look so earnest.
14:53Dan, you're going to take a stab?
14:54100,000 years.
14:55No.
14:57Colin, uh...
14:5828 years.
14:59You got it.
14:59I can't believe you knew that.
15:00All right, man.
15:06Dan, you're still in control.
15:08Uh, two again.
15:10Two again.
15:10Ooh, this guy does not learn.
15:12For 20 points.
15:13In the heart of darkness, Marlow finds a book of maritime tables.
15:17Now, the books, marginalia, are in what alphabet?
15:23Dan, your mouth is going to stay that way.
15:26I can't believe it.
15:27Uh, Colin?
15:28Oh, the dog is Cyrillic.
15:29Cyrillic.
15:30Cyrillic alphabet.
15:31Woo!
15:32Sweet.
15:35Now, try to make them as easy as possible.
15:37Uh, Dan?
15:38Uh, let's move out of that category.
15:40Or we go to, um, 7.
15:42Channel 7.
15:43Okay.
15:44The Partridge Channel.
15:47For 10 points.
15:48Name the actors who went from being the skinniest Partridge kid to being an L.A. law attorney.
15:54Dan, for 10.
15:55Susan Day.
15:56Susan Day is right.
15:58Yeah.
15:58Woo!
16:00Woo!
16:02Go ahead, Dan.
16:03You have control.
16:04Okay, 5.
16:05Channel 5.
16:08Prime time for 10 points.
16:10Jock Ewing, that amorous caddler on Dallas, had three sons legitimately and one out of wedlock.
16:15Who was the youngest kid?
16:21Yeah, he got in, Dan.
16:23You snuck in for 10.
16:24Uh, Bobby Ewing.
16:25Bobby was right.
16:26Woo!
16:26Very good.
16:29Snuck in under that buzzer, Dan.
16:3195 points, you're up.
16:33Oh, no!
16:34Oh, no!
16:34Oh, no!
16:35Say goodbye, Mel.
16:38Say hello to the Falcon.
16:39Oh, yeah.
16:42See you, Dina.
16:44Oh, yeah.
16:45Oh, yeah.
16:46Oh, yeah.
16:46Oh, yeah.
16:46Oh, yeah.
16:47Oh, yeah.
16:47She had the lowest points.
16:48Actually, she had no points.
16:49She had to leave.
16:50I hated to do it, but she had to go.
16:52And now Dan has 95 points.
16:54Chuck is in second with 30 points.
16:55Chuck, you've got to catch him.
16:57With 30 points, you've got to catch him.
16:58Dan, you have control.
17:00Four.
17:00Channel four.
17:01Okay, it's the home shopping zone.
17:05This is going to cost you 20, my friend.
17:07You've just entered a new dimension.
17:09Not of time, not of space, but one filled with terrific merchandise at bargain basement prices.
17:14Yes, you're losing points, but look at what you're getting.
17:18Today's lucky shopper takes a nostalgic trip down memory lane with these authentic wooden tongue depressors.
17:26Just imagine the craftsmanship it took to forge so many identical pieces.
17:32And you'll take them all home, whether you like it or not, for 20 points.
17:36They're a real conversation piece.
17:38Oh, for choosing the home shopping zone.
17:41Oh.
17:47It's good.
17:48It's good.
17:48It's 20, but the wooden ones are probably worth a lot of money.
17:51Dan, you still have control.
17:52You have 75 points now.
17:54Three.
17:55Channel three.
17:56Reruns.
17:57Reruns.
17:58For 10 points, exactly how many Bradford kids would you find on eight?
18:02Is it Chuck for 10?
18:03Eight.
18:04Eight is right, Chuck.
18:05All right.
18:06Yeah.
18:07You got it.
18:07That kid.
18:08All right, Chuck.
18:08It gives you 40.
18:09You have control.
18:10Catch him.
18:11Come on, Chuck.
18:11You can catch him.
18:12Three again.
18:13Channel three.
18:13Staying with three runs.
18:16Chuck, you okay?
18:17Yeah.
18:17Okay.
18:17For 20 points.
18:19He starred in Saturday Night Fever and Grease.
18:22But John, Dan for 20.
18:25Welcome back, Cotter.
18:26Whoa, he pulls it out.
18:28John Travolta was once a lowly sweat hog and what TV show?
18:31Welcome back, Cotter.
18:32That's right, Dan.
18:32That gave you 20.
18:33Go ahead, Dan.
18:34You're in control.
18:35Eight.
18:36Channel eight.
18:37The Brady Network for 10 points.
18:39Marsha Brady's dream of dreams was to someday be Mrs. Desi Arnaz Jr., but she was also crazy
18:44about this trip.
18:47For 10, Dan.
18:48Davy Jones.
18:49Davy Jones for the happiest monkey.
18:52You're in control, Dan.
18:54Eight.
18:54Eight again.
18:55Let's go with the Brady.
18:55Stay with the Brady Network for 20 points now.
18:57Peter auditions for the role of George Washington in the school play, but ends Chuck for 20?
19:03Dan McDonnell.
19:03Ends up with what?
19:04Dan McDonnell.
19:05Yeah.
19:06Come on.
19:10Oh, no.
19:10Wait, wait, wait.
19:11What is it?
19:12What?
19:12What?
19:12Already?
19:13Already?
19:14Now?
19:15Yeah.
19:16Oh, Chuck.
19:17That's the end of the game.
19:19Congratulations, Dan, with 105 points.
19:21You're our head guy.
19:23You won today.
19:24Congratulations, Dan.
19:25Chuck.
19:26Nice game, buddy.
19:27But you're out of here.
19:29But Chuck is not going home empty-handed.
19:32What's he bringing with him?
19:33Watercolors.
19:34The new wave of Warcoma watches from Timex.
19:36They're all quartz, all water-resistant, and all designed for today's style.
19:39Watercolors from Timex.
19:40Concord Camera presents the pastel, the hot new 35-millimeter cameras with built-in flash,
19:46available in four exciting high-fashion colors.
19:49Pastels by Concord.
19:51Hey, Zenith, wireless remote control that commands both your TV set and VCR.
19:56Now changing channels is as easy as changing your mind.
19:59Take it away, guys.
20:01All right, Dan, my man.
20:04All right.
20:04You got 105 points.
20:05That means you're today's winner, and you are going to enter the grand prize round.
20:09We're about to strap you into a Craftmatic adjustable bed where you're going to have a chance to take home
20:14this.
20:14Casio TV 400, a two-inch handheld pocket-color TV with built-in speaker.
20:20Casio lets you take your entertainment with you wherever you go from Casio.
20:23Gold Star Electronics, portable compact disc player.
20:26The PCD N1 features an AM-FM cassette player and detachable 2-way 4-speaker system.
20:32The Epiphone S500 from Gibson combines traditional electric guitar styling with up-to-date hardware and electronics.
20:38The Musician's Choice from Gibson, USA.
20:40The Magnavoz Word Processor, a self-contained personal writing system, includes keyboard, screen, memory, dictionary, and printer.
20:48The Video Writer, Word Processor by Magnavoz.
20:51When remote control continues.
21:04All right, Dan, my man.
21:07It's kind of like a nightmare, isn't it?
21:09Strapped into a Craftmatic adjustable bed, forced to watch nine music videos at the same time,
21:14and all you have to do is identify as many bands as you can within inside of 30 seconds.
21:19If you get all nine correct, you could even win today's grand prize.
21:24Oh, grand prize, Jamaica, Jamaica, the resort that shows you the Jamaica in Jamaica.
21:30Colorful, romantic, warm, musical, most of all, fun.
21:33Enjoy your likable drinks, continental cuisine, tennis store, clinging at night.
21:37Settle back and let the island's best entertainers entertain you.
21:40Jamaica, Jamaica, back to you again.
21:44All right, all right, we are back.
21:46Dan, behind me you see nine video monitors.
21:48Let me give you a quick look at them.
21:50Okay, that's more than enough time.
21:52All you've got to do, guess the band in the video.
21:55If you can't figure one out, pass.
21:57You can go back to it after the numerical sequence has been completed, okay?
22:00Okay, got it.
22:00Dan, get ready.
22:01On your mark, get set, go.
22:06One, Grateful Dead.
22:08One, right.
22:08Two, Eric Clapton.
22:09Two, right.
22:10Three, Weird Al Yankovic.
22:11Three, right.
22:12Four, Daryl Hall.
22:13Four, right.
22:14Five, Heart.
22:15No.
22:17Five, Fleetwood Mac.
22:18No.
22:19Five, oh, five, Bruce Springsteen.
22:22No, no, go on, go on.
22:23Six, that's right.
22:25Six, that's right.
22:25Seven, Fleetwood Mac.
22:26Seven, right.
22:27Eight, Steve Linwood.
22:28No, no, eight.
22:29Eight, Chris Beard.
22:31Eight, right.
22:32Nine, um, two, one.
22:37Oh, you got six.
22:39Oh, you got six.
22:40Let me show you what you didn't get.
22:41You missed number five, Penny Loggins.
22:44Number six, Santana.
22:46And number nine, Ario Speedwagon.
22:48But look at what you're taking home, man.
22:49The videos, the spotting scope, the keyboard, the radio, a pocket TV, and a CD player.
22:54All right.
22:55Remote control.
22:57Stay with us next time.
22:58We're downstairs in the basement.
23:00Downstairs, knock on the door.
23:01Thanks a lot for watching.
23:03All right, man.
23:03We're downstairs.
23:05We're downstairs.
23:08We're downstairs.
23:09All right.
23:09Bye.
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