1
- 17 hours ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00From Television City in Hollywood, it's PaddleTales!
00:15Welcome to the game of celebrity gossip, PaddleTales.
00:19And now, here's the star of PaddleTales, Bert Conley!
00:32Get back there, you little. Here we go. This is it.
00:35This is the going home show with this gang, and I hope you've enjoyed them as much as I have,
00:39and you here at home, I mean in the studio, and you at home is what I meant to say.
00:43If you're ready, I am.
00:44Winning money today for the blue section from Match Game, Mr. Gene Rayburn and Helen Rayburn.
00:49I don't think you're ready.
00:52Winning money for the yellow section, Ron Cass, and from Dynasty, Joan Collins.
00:59And winning money for the red section, George Grotto and Barbie Benton.
01:06Ah, yes.
01:10I said I was ready, and then said Gene Rayburn.
01:13Gene Rayburn, you're not ready. Go back and come here.
01:15I'm ready. No, I am ready.
01:16And I hope you've had half as much fun as I have.
01:18You've all been wonderful, and you will all come back, will you not?
01:20Yes, indeed.
01:21I certainly hope so.
01:22I'm fascinated by your buttons. What does that say on there?
01:24What buttons?
01:25Your buttons on your sleeve there. Is that a picture of a...
01:28No, it's...
01:30What does that say?
01:31Lovely jacket, incidentally.
01:32It doesn't say anything, I don't think.
01:33It doesn't say anything. Okay.
01:35I've got a picture of it.
01:35No, it doesn't say it. No, it's just a design, I think.
01:37I brought it up there.
01:38Any time you boys are ready.
01:39Oh, yes, of course.
01:41Talk about dull television, I'm sorry.
01:44Ready, ladies? Here we go. First question for you.
01:46When you're in the mood for sex, how do you let your husband know about it?
01:51By saying something, or by doing something?
01:54Uh-oh.
01:56The lady with the sex went, uh-oh. Goodbye.
01:59Uh-oh. What do you think Helen will say, sir?
02:03Now, you want to talk about my buttons now?
02:06Yeah, yeah.
02:10Well, you know, it's putting on something flimsy, or attractive, or arousing, or wearing something,
02:20or biting my ear, or something like that.
02:25What is that?
02:26That's doing something, I think.
02:27Oh, yeah.
02:28I would say, wouldn't you?
02:29If you don't know, or...
02:30Yeah, well, I guess it's doing something, yeah.
02:31Yeah.
02:32Right.
02:32Rather than saying something.
02:33Right, yeah.
02:34As opposed to.
02:35Yeah.
02:36Very well done, sir.
02:37Doing something it is.
02:38Here she comes.
02:40Helen.
02:41Yes?
02:41How do you let Jean know?
02:43Well, I usually take off my nightcap and flannel nightgown and say,
02:47Howdy, stranger.
02:49Doing something.
02:50Yes, doing something.
02:51That's what you said you said.
02:53You could say.
02:57Howdy, stranger.
03:00That's better than, Howdy, sailor, I guess.
03:03Ron, what will Joan say?
03:04We'll use Western Union.
03:07What are the choices there?
03:09The choices, say something or do something.
03:11Oh, God, she does it both ways.
03:14I guess, you know, that's difficult, because it's a little bit of both, but I would say doing something.
03:20Doing something.
03:21Yes.
03:22Care to give us a hint?
03:23I can't on this show.
03:25There's a lady back there.
03:27There's a lady back there that will cut it out.
03:28I see.
03:30Okay.
03:31I wonder what he meant by that.
03:31Oh, you mean the censor.
03:32I'm sorry.
03:33I don't know what you meant.
03:33Here comes Joan.
03:36Joan, how best do you signify that mood?
03:40You mean how best?
03:42Funny vernacular.
03:42I find this an extremely intimate question.
03:46Being British, I find it very difficult to pace the television audience and actually tell them these intimate details of
03:53my sex life.
03:54That's true.
03:54My sex life.
03:55Yes.
03:55So I will not elaborate.
03:57I will simply say, doing something.
04:00Yes, that's what the man said.
04:02Well, I shall not tell you what.
04:04Just walk.
04:05Walk.
04:08You don't have to tell us what, because Ron already told us.
04:12You don't have to say an intimate detail.
04:15He did not tell us.
04:16I said we use Western Union.
04:17Yes.
04:18What will Barbie say, George?
04:19Well, Bert, before I answer that, I need to get a definition.
04:22Does grabbing me by my hair and pulling me into the room, does that constitute doing something?
04:27Boy, you scared me to death.
04:30Grabbing you by your hair, eh?
04:32Yeah, no.
04:32This is not the Richard Nixon famous line.
04:35Anyway, I would say that probably by saying something, because usually it goes from, hey, you, to, hey, honey.
04:44Uh-oh.
04:44Yes, I think it's saying something.
04:46A softly whispered phrase.
04:47A softly whispered.
04:48A look, a sigh.
04:50The fundamental things apply.
04:52Can we move this along?
04:53Here we go.
04:54Here she comes.
04:57Barbie, how do you let them know?
05:00Jean, I'm always in the mood for sex.
05:04Oh.
05:05Really?
05:07When I really need it and have to have it.
05:11Yes.
05:11I let George know by the use of body language.
05:15Which is doing something, and he said words.
05:19Oh, really?
05:20Yes.
05:21Has he been missing the signal lately, Barbie?
05:24I guess so.
05:25I guess so.
05:26I wondered why we haven't been seeing each other.
05:28There's 200 guys over here that are going to answer that signal if you need it.
05:31Joan and Ron and Helen and Jane are ready, and they're right, and they got it.
05:35And we'll come back in a moment to reflect the number two, and a look at a sigh, and body
05:40language, and all those things.
05:49What do you mean the truth?
05:50What do you mean the truth?
05:51They're still arguing back there.
05:52Can you hear me?
05:53What do you mean the truth?
05:54Here we go.
05:54If you're ready, second question, ladies.
05:57Listen carefully, if you will.
05:58Ladies, you donate a coat to a thrift shop a couple of weeks.
06:02Oh, to a thrift.
06:03Start again.
06:04That's enough.
06:05One more time.
06:05Here we go.
06:07You donate a coat to a thrift shop, period.
06:10A couple of weeks later, you go out to dinner with another couple, and the woman is wearing what looks
06:15exactly like the coat you gave away.
06:18Would you ask her where she got it, or would you just keep on wondering?
06:23Off you go.
06:25Now, this question is not as far out as you might think, because a similar experience happened to an acquaintance
06:30of mine.
06:32I won't go any further than that, but what do you think?
06:36We're asking Joan this question now.
06:37Ron, you're up.
06:39These are rough questions.
06:42Because, you know, I don't think Joan would want to embarrass the woman, but she'd be very curious.
06:46Yes, you bet.
06:47I think she'd find an opportunity to ask.
06:49Some way to bring it up like this.
06:51Yeah, in a very subtle kind of oblique way.
06:53Yeah.
06:53Now, then the next question would be, would the lady tell her, in fact, where she got it?
06:57Okay, but you're going to say she would ask where she got it?
07:00I think so.
07:01Okay, here she comes.
07:02In a nice way.
07:02Yes, of course.
07:05What would you do, Joan?
07:06There she is, sitting across the table from you.
07:09Well, I think, first of all, I'd laugh a lot.
07:12And I just would have to ask her where she got it.
07:15That's what he said.
07:18I mean, who was...
07:22I think it's hilarious.
07:24In fact, it has happened.
07:25Has it happened to you?
07:26Yes, it has.
07:27But it hasn't happened with going out to dinner with a couple.
07:29It's happened with somebody at a party that I've seen and something that I had given away to some people.
07:36But I didn't go out to them.
07:38But if it was a couple that I knew, of course, I would ask.
07:40Right.
07:40But I wouldn't...
07:40If they said that they got it from a thrift shop, I wouldn't say it was mine.
07:43No.
07:43I said you said it in a nice way.
07:45Yes, of course, in a nice way.
07:46Hello, ducks.
07:47Where'd you get that?
07:49What will Barbie say, George?
07:51Well, I think that Barbie's the type of woman that doesn't like to embarrass anybody.
07:55So I would have to say that even though she would be very curious, she probably would not ask about
08:02the coat.
08:02She'd just keep on wondering.
08:03But I've got to tell you, if it was the underwear, I think my wife would ask right away.
08:06So where did you get that?
08:07That's why I gave it away to you.
08:08But that's it.
08:10I'm just kidding.
08:11Okay.
08:12I got it.
08:13Here she comes.
08:16Barbie, what are you going to do in this situation?
08:19I wouldn't hesitate for a moment.
08:21You would ask?
08:22I would ask her.
08:23No, that's not what he said.
08:26Now, explain it.
08:27I never disagree.
08:30You were so positive.
08:31You said, I wouldn't hesitate for a moment.
08:33I'm sorry, Barbie.
08:35I would ask.
08:35I certainly wouldn't tell her that it was my coat that I just gave them.
08:39That would be a little too tacky.
08:41But you would ask where you got it.
08:42That's right.
08:43It doesn't mean you have to divulge that it's yours, too.
08:45That's right.
08:45I didn't understand.
08:46Yeah, I never thought about that either.
08:47You always find some way that...
08:48Yeah, we'll take you home, Barbie.
08:49Follow us.
08:51Where's that mirrored hotel?
08:52Where's their coat?
08:54What's she going to say?
08:55Can you clarify that for Helen?
08:56No, I can't.
08:57I asked a question, and she has a copy of it in front of her now back there.
09:01I won't do that.
09:03You gave it to a thrift shop.
09:05Can you see someone else wearing it?
09:06A couple of weeks later, you go out to dinner with another couple, and she's wearing what
09:11looks exactly like.
09:15I don't think Helen would ask.
09:16You don't think so?
09:17No.
09:18She might ask, but she wouldn't say it was my coat.
09:21No, but that's not part of the question.
09:23Would you ask her where she got it, or would you just keep wondering?
09:26Yeah.
09:27I think it's implied that you would also reveal that it was your coat, so I'm going to say
09:31she would not ask.
09:32Okay.
09:33The answer is she will keep wondering.
09:34Here she comes.
09:36You have a choice of two.
09:38Helen, what would you do about that coat?
09:41Oh, that's a very difficult question.
09:44I'm a kind lady.
09:46I don't think I'd ask her where she got it.
09:48That's what the man said.
09:50Helen and Gene and Joan and Ron are right.
09:52Barbie and George are still looking for one.
09:54It's halftime, guys.
09:55Step to the rear, if you will.
09:56The ladies are coming out, and we'll come back with the next half of Dattletales.
10:00We've got to know.
10:01What does it do, guys?
10:26Don't tell us your problem.
10:27Here we go.
10:27We're back after halftime.
10:28I have the ladies with me.
10:30The gentlemen are in the back.
10:31We have two-thirds of a tie.
10:33Did you know that?
10:33No, who's the tie?
10:34Oh, you look so pretty.
10:35Gosh, they're really pretty, guys.
10:36I mean, you're nice, too, but it's really nice to have them here.
10:38Gene, you and Ron are tied with 150 bucks a piece, and George, good luck to you, sir.
10:43If you're ready to go, listen to this, guys.
10:45It's worth $150 to your rooting sections.
10:47According to tradition, an Eskimo will offer his wife for the night to an honored guest.
10:52Suppose that you were that honored guest, and to refuse would insult your host.
10:58Would you accept the offer, or would you turn it down?
11:01Have you got it?
11:02Who are you asking?
11:03I'm asking the guys.
11:05And there you are.
11:06He's offered his wife to accept, to refuse with insult your host.
11:10So would you accept the offer, or would you turn it down?
11:13Goodbye, guys.
11:15Gee, that's happened to me in Beverly Hills.
11:17I don't know about Eskimos.
11:21Where are we?
11:22What would George say, Barbie?
11:24Oh, he'd turn it down.
11:25He would?
11:26He better.
11:27Yeah.
11:28Okay.
11:29You turned on the Eskimo's wife, even though it would insult him?
11:32He would try sign language to explain it, but I think he would.
11:38Okay.
11:39Think so, huh?
11:39Maybe he'd rub noses, but that's all.
11:42I think so.
11:42Okay.
11:43Here he comes.
11:44What would you do, George?
11:46I mean, society dictates certain values in certain places.
11:49Well, I'll tell you, that's a very difficult question.
11:52You know, obviously, if it was an Eskimo, his wife would be an Eskimo.
11:55My question is, is a cold woman better than no woman?
11:59I would have to accept the offer.
12:06When's the divorce?
12:07There's a man for you, gang.
12:10I plead my case.
12:12Yeah.
12:12When we say Eskimo pie, that's not what we meant, George.
12:16Oh, please.
12:18Don't Eskimos rub noses?
12:20Yeah.
12:21Don't they do eyelashes as well?
12:23That's a butterfly case.
12:24I don't have nose eyes.
12:25We don't have them in England.
12:27George, did you say you've never met one?
12:28I never met an Eskimo.
12:30No, I never met an Eskimo I didn't like, as I think is the line.
12:33Helen, what will Gene say?
12:34I have to understand this.
12:36The Eskimo is offering his wife to Gene.
12:38Yes, because Gene is an honored guest.
12:45I think there's a sheer variety of it.
12:47He might say yes.
12:48He might say yes.
12:49Might not insult that poor fellow, after all.
12:52I don't know.
12:52After all.
12:53I mean, blubber gets kind of boring.
12:55You know what I mean?
12:55All those furs.
12:56Yeah.
12:57All that stuff.
13:00Let's bring him off while we're in big trouble here.
13:03Gene.
13:05What are you going to do, sir?
13:06There you are in this igloo.
13:08Very cold.
13:09Very cold.
13:10You are the honored guest.
13:12And this man says to you,
13:14it is a custom.
13:16How do you do an Eskimo accent?
13:18Answer the question, Gene.
13:19What are you going to do?
13:20Well, I would say to my host,
13:22if your wife is a very patient lady,
13:25I'm willing to try.
13:27That's right.
13:30I'm ready to come to her, honey.
13:35How did Helen phrase it?
13:39I think Eskimos are famous for their patience, Gene.
13:41You're going to be fine.
13:44Joan, what will Ron say?
13:46Well, first of all, I want to know one thing.
13:47Does the Eskimo, whose wife is being offered,
13:50does he get to watch Ron and the Eskimo land?
13:54I would, I don't know.
13:55Gee, it's an awfully good question.
13:57I wish we'd asked that one.
13:58I'm going to retire subtly away and leave him to it.
14:00Either way, Ron would say no.
14:02No.
14:02The answer is no.
14:03He would definitely say no.
14:04You're sure of that?
14:05Wouldn't you?
14:06Bananas?
14:06Yeah.
14:07Not one guy agreed with her.
14:10I'm looking at the yellow section,
14:11I'm going, no, no, sweetheart.
14:13But Ron, Ron would say no.
14:14He's smiling.
14:15He likes the story.
14:16Yeah.
14:18It's why it's not so happy.
14:19Okay.
14:19Let's see.
14:20How many guys in the yellow section would say yes?
14:22Let's see, guys.
14:22Come on.
14:24He's married to a woman.
14:25There's one guy with both hands up there, number 11.
14:27How many guys would say no?
14:29Oh, the eyes have it.
14:30There's four guys who are abstaining in the front row,
14:32and they're all sitting next to their wives.
14:34I got the picture, guys.
14:36Okay.
14:36You'll say, he'll say no.
14:37Here he comes.
14:39What are you going to do, Ron?
14:40You are the honored guest.
14:43I understand the question.
14:45We'll see how well my wife knows me
14:46after 10 years of marriage, right?
14:48First of all, I can't stand the smell of fish.
14:52And I think that I would just explain to...
14:56I would be diplomatic.
14:57Explain to them our Western values of morality
15:00and decline the kind of invitation.
15:02That's correct.
15:03That's what the lady said.
15:04Jane and Ron are right.
15:05Jane and Gina are right.
15:07Barbie and George are having a wonderful time.
15:10And we'll be back in just a moment.
15:12We've got $300 questions,
15:13and we will decide the issue in just a second.
15:17An honored guest.
15:21Okay.
15:22This will decide it.
15:23Now, you see, George and Barbie at this point
15:25have zero on the board.
15:26But they shouldn't be discouraged,
15:29or neither should the red section,
15:30because you can come from zero and win it,
15:32because this one's worth $300.
15:33That's right.
15:33It's happened before.
15:35I think in 1974 we had someone come from...
15:39Thanks, Bert.
15:40We needed that.
15:41No, no.
15:42As a matter of fact, to be honest with you,
15:43it happened two weeks ago.
15:44It really did.
15:44If you're ready, guys, listen carefully.
15:46Leo DeRocher once said
15:48that nice guys finish last.
15:51Do you agree in general
15:52that nice guys finish last?
15:55Yes or no.
15:57Off you go.
15:58Do you agree in general?
15:59Now, remember, they've got the question in front of them,
16:01so they get the significance of the words.
16:03Barbie, what will George say to this?
16:05I don't think so.
16:07I think that in general the good people win out.
16:10You do?
16:11Mm-hmm.
16:11Does he think that way?
16:12I think so.
16:13Is that the philosophy he operates under?
16:15Don't forget, we're batting zero right now.
16:19I, yes, I think, uh, I think he'd agree with that.
16:23He will say that nice guys...
16:24Finish first.
16:25So he does not agree with this comment.
16:27The answer is no.
16:28No.
16:29If you agree in general, then the answer is yes.
16:32But if he does not agree, the answer is no.
16:36That's very abstruse.
16:39That too.
16:40All right.
16:40Uh, he does not agree with the question.
16:43The answer is no.
16:45He does not believe.
16:46No, nice guys do not finish last.
16:47Correct.
16:48Got it.
16:48Here we go.
16:49Now let's see if he does.
16:51Okay, we've got half an answer here, and it's right.
16:54We want to see if your half is right too, George.
16:56How do you feel?
16:57Do you agree with Leo DeRocher or no?
16:59Well, I'll tell you, Bert.
17:00Uh, one thing I'm sure of is in my high school,
17:03nice girls certainly finish last.
17:05I'll tell you.
17:06Uh, no, I would have to say that I do agree.
17:10Nice guys do finish last.
17:11It's unfortunate.
17:11No, that's not true.
17:14And you are a real nice guy, George.
17:18I've got to tell you, you're a very, very nice guy.
17:21Wrong, but you're...
17:22How are we doing in the score, Bert?
17:24I believe it's called last, but I don't want to...
17:27Thank you, George.
17:29It's been wonderful being with you today.
17:31And when you leave, be sure to avoid the red section
17:34because they'll be waiting for you in the parking lot.
17:36Bert, you mean I'm not invited back is what you're saying?
17:39Oh, yes, you are.
17:40Don't worry about it.
17:40Helen, what will Gene say?
17:42But you're a nice guy.
17:43Gene would not agree with Leo DeRocher.
17:45He believes nice guys finish first.
17:47He does believe that.
17:48Absolutely.
17:48Doesn't agree with Leo DeRocher at all?
17:49Not at all.
17:50It's been his modus operandi all his life and his career.
17:53Because he's a nice man.
17:55Yeah.
17:55Okay.
17:56Now let's see what he says.
17:57Here he comes.
17:58Gene, do you agree with Leo DeRocher?
18:00Well, you know, it's...
18:01I don't believe there's any scientific or statistical evidence
18:06to support a generalization like that,
18:09the contention that nice guys finish last.
18:11And as proof of that, I offer myself as an example.
18:15I am a nice guy, if anything.
18:18And I have had a modicum of success.
18:24So far, I'm not last.
18:26So I say, no, nice guys don't finish.
18:29That's what the lady said.
18:39Well, you are a nice guy, and we'll find out in just a minute
18:42if you, in fact, finish last.
18:44Sure are a long-winded one.
18:46What will Ron say, Joan?
18:47Well, this is really a tough question,
18:48because it's not anything that we've ever really discussed.
18:51So I can really only give my philosophy,
18:54which is that it seems to me that mean people do very well in life,
19:00unfortunately, particularly in our business.
19:02So I would say that...
19:04You're playing the meanest person in the world right now.
19:06And you're doing wonderfully well.
19:08I can't stand it.
19:10But as a generalization, just a bare generalization,
19:13I would have to say that I agree with...
19:16And Ron will agree with Mr. Derosher.
19:19Derosher, yes.
19:19Leo Derosher.
19:20Well, he was a great...
19:21They call him the lip.
19:22He was a great manager from the Dodgers and the Giants.
19:25Okay, here he comes.
19:26You'll say yes.
19:27I would say yes.
19:28Okay, here he comes.
19:29The question is, and this will decide the game,
19:32Leo Derosher once said nice guys finish last.
19:34Do you agree in general that nice guys finish last?
19:36Yes or no?
19:37No.
19:38That's not what Joan said.
19:41She agreed with that discussion.
19:43However, you know, Mr. President White,
19:45time is up and they win it.
19:47And win it big.
19:49Wow.
19:49We'll come back in a moment.
19:51They gave the blue section their money.
19:53See you in a second.
19:54Nice guys finish first today.
19:57Well, the blue section did it today with Helen and Jean.
20:00It seems to be a habit.
20:02$525.
20:02We had $1,000.
20:04They would divide $1,525.
20:06That's a good total.
20:08Thank you all for being with us.
20:09And thank you at home for tuning in to see Bird Comedy.
20:12Saying so long.
20:12I'll see you next time.
20:13Bye now.
20:15In addition to Cass Awards,
20:16a member of the winning rooting section selected at random
20:19will also receive Daisy's Foot Saver
20:21with four temperature and massage settings
20:23combines the comfort of vibrant nodes
20:24with moving water and soothing heat.
20:26Daisy pampers your feet.
20:28An assortment of cosmetics.
20:29Helena Rubensseins is introduced to the new color classics
20:31for eyes, lips, fingertips, spicy, convincing.
20:34You've waited all your life to look like this.
20:36A tray and lift a nice tea in the winter.
20:38Why not?
20:38Says Don Meredith.
20:39To drink other cold drinks in the winter.
20:41Why not lift a nice tea made from tea bags.
20:43Dandy tasting.
20:44West Bend stir crazy automatic corn popper.
20:47Stears yourself to give you big, fluffy, great tasting popcorn.
20:50Six quarks in six minutes.
20:57This is Johnny Olsen speaking for Tattletales.
21:00A Mark Goodson, Bill Todman production.
21:04This program is headed into the broadcast.
21:05...
21:06...
21:08...