- 3 hours ago
He Missed My Surgery for Her ASM
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00:00left eye the moment the scalpel sliced into my left eye my husband darian blackwood was tangled
00:08up in bed with his mistress when i woke from general anesthesia the first thing i did was
00:13open my chat with darian darian tomorrow night's the full moon my curse is going to flare up again
00:20the doctor said the success rate this time is only one in three if i wake up and you're not
00:26there
00:26then we're over the messages had been sent a day ago he still hadn't replied then an anonymous
00:32message popped up a video he was roughly pulling open his mistress's nightgone straps kissing
00:40drunkenly along her neck the bedside clock showed the exact time i'd been in surgery the night before
00:46in the video he looked so passionate but in our chat history every reply he ever sent me was cold
00:54i'm busy get my assistant to sign the papers i'm in a board meeting you don't need to tell me
01:00these
01:00things anymore eventually he muted my messages all together and assigned me a private assistant
01:06someone who's only was signing documents that required a partner's authorization sorry but i
01:11don't think he'll have time to visit you today either i stared blankly at that message and finally
01:16decided to give up on this relationship i texted the assistant don't come anymore then i called my
01:23lawyer draft a separation agreement for me as the anesthesia wore off my skull started throoping
01:32with pain i couldn't even close my eyes when this curse flared up i might lose my left eye completely
01:39half conscious i wondered if i died on that operating table this time when would darian find out
01:47probably when they called him to identify my body after all his time and attention would never belong
01:53to a beta like me someone without pheromones that evening the isolation room door opened darian
02:00walked in carrying a thermos bag and a gift bag how are you feeling i'm okay that's good
02:10brought you soup i'm allergic to seafood the one who lucked seafood was his mistress luna then had
02:17taken the gift bag sorry i couldn't stay with you last night this is to make up for it inside
02:24was a
02:24delicate hair clip he didn't care about anything related to me he didn't even know that after multiple
02:31serenial surgeries i'd shaved my head long ago luna got sunburned at the beach so i brought her to
02:37the hospital to get checked as he spoke he poured me a bowl of soup she got burned pretty badly
02:43her
02:44whole back's red i said nothing why aren't you drinking it he leaned closer and i caught the heavy
02:52sugary scent of perfume i ignored the question you changed cologne he paused then smiled
03:00luna recommended it smells nice doesn't it if you like it i'll have her bring you some
03:08after all these years he should have known that as a scentless beta i hated anything that masks
03:13natural scent but nothing about me had ever mattered to him the isolation room fell silent for a few
03:19seconds then his phone notification broke the quiet oh right the assistant said you told him not to come
03:25anymore he won't need to sign anything for me anymore as long as you're getting better softly
03:31i said i'm not the curse is getting worse i may need permanent isolation at any time
03:41do you still want this relationship darian look at this video it's so funny
03:47he muted the volume and finally looked at me what did you say the machines kept beeping steadily
03:55you went to the hamptons this time done with work his expression stayed calm luna's been wanting to
04:02go to the beach for ages there happened to be a project inspection there so i took her along
04:08if you want to go i'll take you once you recover there was a knock at the door my attending
04:14physician
04:14walked in to discuss my treatment plan you guys talk luna's probably done with her checkup by now
04:19darian glanced at his watch and grabbed his coat he was always like this living entirely in luna's bright
04:25lively world nothing about me had ever mattered to him the day i was discharged darian said he'd pick me
04:32up i sat outside the hospital waiting for him beside me was a canvas bag filled with discharge
04:38papers medical files and a huge pile of suppressive medication i scrolled through my phone luna had
04:45updated her story again 7 a.m a sunrise jogging photo two silhouettes from behind one tall one short
04:53caption early birds get the sunrise 8 a.m a bathroom door fogged with steam a smiley face drawn in
05:00the
05:00condensation someone's waiting for me to shower 8 30 a.m breakfast on a hotel balcony two sets of
05:07utensils under warm sunlight mornings are better when you eat with someone the man who said he was
05:12coming to pick me up was busy living someone else's life at 10 o'clock darian's car finally arrived
05:19the passenger side window rolled down luna hi bianca darian's dropping me off at work
05:29traffic was bad darian got out from the driver's seat and opened the back door i said nothing and
05:35walked over carrying my medication luna leaned against the car window suddenly staring at my left
05:40eye what happened to your eye it looks cloudy that's so weird she waved her fingers in front of me
05:48can you see that how many fingers she's near feast darian interrupted oh luna pulled her hand back my left
05:57eye had been blind for three years i told him more than 10 times he still didn't remember luna and
06:04opened the car door and walked over what are all these meds can i look she reached into my bag
06:10i shifted
06:11slightly trying to avoid her touch the bag wasn't tied properly the moment she touched it pill bottles
06:18and medication boxes spilled everywhere pills rolled across the ground some disappeared into cracks between
06:24the steps others rolled beneath the tires how can you not even hold on to a bag properly darian frowned
06:30and looked away i crouched down picking them up one by one my stitches had only just been removed
06:37the moment i bent down pressure mounded through my cull and my vision darkened luna crouched too
06:43let me help in her panic she crushed several pills beneath her hand oops sorry bianca darian crouched
06:51beside her and helped her back up they're broken forget it no need to pick them up they're not
06:56expensive i slowly stood yeah not expensive he checked his watch and frowned then have her go back into the
07:04hospital and get me new ones that's unnecessary she was only trying to help you can go get them
07:09yourself luna's going to be late for work i'll drop her off first i'll send someone to pick you up
07:14luna was already back in the passenger seat waving at me through the window bye
07:21darian left me with nothing but his back i thought i would cry but my eyes stayed dry even my
07:28heartbeat
07:28remained calm like the person driving away wasn't someone i loved just a stranger maybe i really
07:34didn't care anymore when i got home i took the partner agreement out of my bag and signed it
07:40then i started packing my things one 24 inch suitcase was enough to hold eight years of my life
07:46there was a framed photo of darian and i on the bedside table taken at a gala three years ago
07:51back
07:52then my hair was still long tied in a low pintail he wore a dark suit and smiled softly i
07:58picked up the
07:58frame and turned it over on the back someone had written you're already the past the one beside him
08:04now is me luna i stared at it for a few seconds before turning it back over and placing it
08:09on top
08:10of the agreement my phone rang darian he almost never called me first i answered there was music in the
08:19background like he was at a bar darian about the separation agreement he interrupted me luna likes
08:26your painting moonlight fragments of course it was about her i paused not for sale she really likes it
08:34one million i don't like her i'm not selling it to her silence hung on the other end for two
08:41seconds
08:43how much do you want name your price i laughed softly and set the phone down on the table
08:47the bedside drawer was slightly open i pulled it open inside was our marriage certificate luna had
08:54stuck one of her selfies directly over my face in the picture she smiled brightly and threw up a peace
09:00sign my face was completely covered i remembered the day we took that photo i was healthy then full
09:06of color darian stood beside me smiling gently when i found out luna had tampered with the certificate
09:13i contrunted him about it he barely glanced at it before promising he'd go replace it with me
09:18it's just a photo it's not a big deal luna likes joking around just let her have this one three
09:25years
09:25he never found the time to replace it his voice came through the phone again luna's sensitive if she
09:32doesn't get what she wants she'll keep making a fuss just give in and stop making things difficult for
09:36me since you won't sell it no matter how much i offer then your gallery sponsorship won't be
09:41be approved either let me know when you change your mind do whatever you want i tugged at the
09:47corner of my lips the sound of the call ending echoed through the empty room everything in my left
09:52eye was blurry gray like fog that would never clear and that familiar pain slowly crept back into my chest
09:59when darian first pursued me everyone in the family thought he'd lost his mind my unpredictable curse
10:04my unstatable temper my scentless beta body none of it made me seem fit to be anyone's partner but he
10:10said it didn't matter he said quiet was fine coldness was fine he liked all of it for the
10:15first time in my life i thought maybe i could rely on someone but what happened after that he was
10:21always busy said he'd spend time with me once the company stabilized the way he looked at me changed
10:26slowly from heartbreak whenever my curse flared up to helplessness to numbness eventually he stopped
10:33coming altogether he missed so many moments and every time i told myself next time will be different
10:38next time he'll come until the surgery where i almost died as my consciousness faded i thought
10:45i'm probably never going to see darian again when i woke up i only had one thought i wanted to
10:51see
10:52him so i spent 20 exhausting hours traveling to paris where he was supposedly on a business trip and
10:57what i saw was him naked in bed with luna holding her in his arms that's when i finally understood
11:02he wasn't busy he hadn't lost the desire to share his life with someone that someone just wasn't me
11:08anymore it was the first time in my life i broke down like a mad woman i slapped that girl
11:14hard and
11:14smashed everything i could get my hands on why are you doing this to me do you know i almost
11:19died
11:20broken glass sliced across my calf warm blood streamed down my leg but i felt nothing
11:26do you think i'm pathetic is that it
11:33calm down the way you look right now is ugly
11:37i stood trembling among the shattered glass gasping for breath 20 hours of flying going straight from
11:44the operating table just to see him all of it turned to ashes in that moment
11:49from that day on darian rarely came home he muted my notifications the only way i could know
11:57anything about his life was through luna's posts
12:02three days later i got a message from darian charity gala tonight eight o'clock be there
12:08he ignored my messages and still hadn't signed the separation agreement after thinking it over i
12:13decided to talk to him face to face i put on a wig and slipped the agreement into my bag
12:18the moment i entered the ballroom i saw darian with luna in his arms they were dancing in the
12:23middle of the floor she leaned against him while he lowered his head to say something smiling softly
12:28i stood there watching for a moment before walking in you froze beyond his gallery funding because of
12:34me do you think she'll be upset luna whispered in his ear brightly she starved for affection a little
12:39comforting and she'll get over it without missing a step darian patted her waist lightly i stood at the
12:44edge of the dance floor people nearby glanced between me and the couple dancing isn't that
12:48darian's beta haven't seen her in forever is she here to catch him cheating with how biased darian is
12:55towards that girl who even knows who the real third party is look at her did you hear the song
13:01ended
13:03why are you here darian saw me and let go of luna luna looped herself around his arm and smiled
13:07sweetly
13:08at me i need to talk to you i immediately understood she was the one who'd sent the message
13:13i looked at darian luna tugged on his arm darian the next dance is starting he frowned whatever it
13:21is wait until this dance is over suddenly the lights flickered then went out the crowd erupted
13:27into noise in the darkness a hand suddenly yanked hard at my wig pain ripping across my scalp
13:34then the lights came back on i looked down my wig lay on the floor all that remained on my
13:40head was
13:41a layer of short stubble and red scars left behind by the curse
13:49the entire ballroom fell silent eyes turned towards me from every direction that's horrifying no wonder
13:57darian never brings her anywhere anymore if it were me i'd feel sick just looking at her
13:59is that cursed backlash is it contagious a camera flash went off someone had raised a phone and
14:05started taking pictures luna smiled faintly she crouched down picked up the wig and held it out to me
14:12biana i'm sorry it was too dark i didn't see i stared blankly without taking it darian walked over
14:21helped me up and pulled me outside bawled dragged through the entire ballroom under everyone's eyes
14:27the whispers slowly faded behind us neither of us spoke my mind was empty my hands shook
14:35uncontrollably i hadn't thought about those dark years in a very long time isolation vomiting seeing
14:41my bald reflection in the mirror while everyone whispered stay away from her and now the person i
14:46once loved most had personally shoved me back into that hell when we got home darian poured me a glass
14:53of water i'll have all the photos and videos from tonight deleted i said nothing you don't need to
14:59think too much about it i'll make sure nobody spreads them i blinked slowly including luna she was the
15:05one who texted me he frowned the lights were out she couldn't see she's not that kind of person
15:12do you really not see how cool she is or do you just refuse to the great head of the
15:17blackwood
15:17family can't possibly be too blind to see through something this obvious the living room fell silent
15:22for several seconds then his phone rang luna's teary voice leaked through the speaker clearly in the
15:28quiet room darian is bianca mad at me i really didn't mean it i'll apologize tomorrow okay please don't
15:37be angry with me don't cry no one's blaming you he hung up and looked at me she's upset i
15:43need to
15:43go check on her didn't you say you had something to tell me we'll talk properly when i get back
15:47he walked to the door changing his shoes and grabbing his keys he stopped you always say you'll
15:54come back and talk to me but when have you ever actually come back he clearly had no intention of
15:59staying i'll be back in an hour without even turning around darian left i walked into the bedroom
16:05and placed the separation agreement beneath the picture frame then i pulled out my suitcase and
16:10called a cab to the airport at one in the morning i boarded a flight to london three hours had
16:15already
16:15passed since darian said he'd come back to talk as the plane began taxiing a message from him popped
16:21up just before i shut my phone off what's the meaning of that agreement i didn't reply i turned off
16:27my
16:28phone darian let's never appear in each other's lives again the plane landed at heathrow when turning
16:36on the phone vibrate for several minutes before stopping i didn't look past customs collected luggage
16:45took a taxi the hotel was booked in advance the front desk handed over the room key i took it
16:54elevator up open the door put down the suitcase sat by the bedside
17:04the phone vibrated again i picked it up it's from darian blackword dozens explain the agreement
17:13said we'd talk where did you go don't push it there's a limit to throwing tantrums
17:19bianca are you serious i didn't scroll up
17:26locked screen threw it on the nightstand the next day went to royal free hospital
17:31the attending doctor was a beta in his 40s speaking at a moderate pace mrs reed dr lynn has briefed
17:39me
17:39we need a full workup before the purification protocol odds better than last time but the vision
17:45loss in your left eye is permanent he glanced at me didn't say more the nurse took me to handle
17:50admission fill out forms the emergency contact act field was blank who should we put here
17:58no one i'm alone she didn't press further left it blank the ward was cramped the window faced a
18:05busy street the sound of traffic was faint quieter than new york the phone rang it was darian i picked
18:12up
18:12i asked dr lynn you went to london his voice was hoary the background was wind noise from the
18:18airport runway he was probably standing on the tar pack darian sign the papers you flew alone for
18:24the purification do you even know your condition then when will you sign bianca we are really doing
18:30this where do you think we should be fine i'll have luna apologize i admit i neglected you but you
18:40have to take it this far i don't need it bianca i'm hanging up sign the papers i didn't wait
18:47for
18:47him to say anything more turned off stuffed the phone under the pillow the phone vibrated under
18:52the pillow once then again i didn't take it out after hanging up the phone darian sat in the study
18:59of blackwood estate for a long time he sank into the leather chair trying to sort out his thoughts
19:04why did bianca want to dissolve the partnership because of luna because he didn't accompany her on the
19:08full moon night because he was always busy he felt these were all small matters he hadn't marked
19:15anyone else hadn't committed domestic violence hadn't frozen her credit card he just didn't care
19:21as much anymore right just didn't care as much in the first two years of marriage he sent her i
19:27messages every day asking if she had eaten asking about the degree of curse flare-ups asking if she
19:32missed him later messages became fewer and fewer not intentional really had nothing to say
19:37he felt this wasn't his fault isn't that how feelings are passion cools novelty exhausts who
19:43can still be like the honeymoon period after eight years of marriage he picked up his phone
19:47opened her chat box dense green bubbles all sent by her the last time he replied to her was half
19:53a
19:53year ago he didn't know when he had developed this habit just didn't want to look her messages
19:58were always those few lines did you eat going into isolation can you come home the doorbell rang
20:03he placed his phone face down on the table and stood up two housekeepers in gray uniforms from
20:10beta miss reed arranged for us to clear out her belongings clothes shoes personal items all to be
20:17donated darian stood at the door stunned for a few seconds she sent you yes ma'am scheduled it last
20:24week the two ants pushed the cart open the walk-in closet taking down her clothes one by one
20:29silk nightgowns cashmere coats scarves he recognized that off-white max mara coat he had accompanied her
20:35to buy it three years ago when she said she wanted to go sketching in iceland he helped her pick
20:40it
20:40and those manolo blanick flat shoes her feet were small hard to buy these were found after browsing
20:46seven stores he watched all her things being folded stacked into black recycling bags wait i'll buy these
20:53the ants left the door closed the house was dead silent he sat on the sofa holding that coat the
21:00phone vibrated again bianca i want that t-bone steak you make tonight he looked at that message
21:05didn't reply a few minutes later it vibrated again darian are you busy he placed the phone on the coffee
21:12table didn't touch it the sky darkened he didn't turn on the lights sat in the darkness for a long
21:17time
21:18later he stood up walked into the study the safe was hidden behind the bookshelf
21:22he entered the password her birthday pulled it open on top was a moleskine journal
21:29he opened it the first page had a movie ticket stub pasted on it la la land the date was
21:33their
21:34first date she wrote beside it he was 15 minutes late but his hair was flying when he ran in
21:39i forgave
21:39him the second page was a polaroid she wore a knit hat face red from cold she wrote fourth purification
21:46today he said i look cute bald liar but i want to believe him third page fourth page fifth page
21:52every page was her writing characters small crowded together recording every treatment
21:57recording the paths he walked with her recording things he said when i get better we go to tromso
22:01for the aurora you promised so many times i wrote it here so you can't lie the last page of
22:07the journal
22:07had an airplane ticket tucked in it destination tromso next to it was a sticky note in her handwriting
22:13when i get better when you have time let's go don't stand me up again he had simply forgotten
22:19he closed the journal hugged it to his chest the journal was small the cowhide cover pressing
22:25against his palm those characters showed through the paper carrying an aged warmth he only now realized
22:31she wrote so much and he never looked once he picked up his phone booked a flight to london
22:38the purification ritual was scheduled for two weeks later the days in the hospital were very quiet
22:43every morning blood draw every afternoon examination messages from darian kept popping up on my phone
22:49i occasionally swept a glance didn't reply he asked which hospital i was at i deleted the chat box
22:55he said he flew over i still didn't reply the day before the ritual the nurse came for preoperative
23:01education when signing the informed consent form my hand holding the pen shook a bit turns out not
23:07needing to wait for anyone's signature wasn't as hard as imagined that night there was a torrential
23:11downpour i slept early woken in the middle of the night by knocking opened the door the corridor
23:16light was blinding darian stood in the doorway shirt wrinkled hair messy carrying a rimawa
23:22called a dozen hospitals to find you
23:27signed i won't sign bianca i don't think our marriage is beyond repair
23:32and i don't buy that you feel nothing for me i couldn't be bothered to waste words anymore
23:39darian you overestimate yourself and you underestimate me there's nothing left to talk
23:46about except the divorce i'm sorry for neglecting you bianca it won't happen again
23:54you never used to think you were wrong i was always the unreasonable one
23:59the past is the past the past was too long i closed the door he stood in the corridor and
24:06didn't leave
24:06i turned off the lights and lay back on the bed after a long time i heard footsteps gradually fading
24:12away the next day was the surgery before anesthesia dr chin came in to check the person outside family no
24:21the anesthesiologist began pushing the medicine a chill spread from my arm i closed my eyes when i woke
24:28the sky was completely dark my throat was dry and painful like swallowing sandpaper the nurse pulled out a tube
24:35saying in accented english surgery was successful i nodded then saw a person sitting by the bedside
24:41darian sat in the chair elbow propped on the bed rail asleep coat draped over his legs hair messy
24:47blue stubble growing on his chin every time before in surgery after hovering between life and death
24:52i always hoped the first person i saw upon opening my eyes would be him but every time i woke
24:57there was
24:57only the pale ceiling now that he came there was dead water in my heart i looked at him for
25:02a few seconds
25:03then turned to look out the window the london night was deep blue without stars he woke raising his head
25:10how do you feel doctor said it worked he didn't mention last night water didn't mention the agreement
25:16didn't mention luna as if he just happened to pass by dropping by to take a look when are you
25:21leaving
25:22i don't want to see you when you're better he reached out wanting to hold my hand i withdrew it
25:27under the
25:27covers i know you're serious this time i didn't speak i wasn't good enough before go back i'm tired
25:37no energy to argue he sat there unmoving for a long time the nurse came in to change dressings
25:43only then did he stand up to make way the nurse left he sat back down i didn't look at
25:49him again
25:50the third day post-surgery the wound still hurt but lighter than last time
25:54darian came every day arriving in the morning leaving at night the nurse thought he was my
25:59husband i didn't have the strength to correct her the fifth day afternoon the ward door was pushed
26:04open luna stood in the doorway light colored coat long hair loose eye sockets red that strong
26:10strawberry pheromone instantly drowned out the disinfectant smell she looked at darian darian
26:15darian stood up from the sofa frowning how did you find this place asked around everywhere darian
26:21come back with me okay darian didn't move i called you so many times you wouldn't answer i went to
26:28the
26:28house you weren't there i've been here for days just waiting i messed up i know tell me what to
26:34fix
26:34enough he interrupted luna was stunned you know exactly what you did i didn't say anything before
26:40doesn't mean i didn't know her lips trembled i was for you darian i love you out you weren't like
26:49this
26:49you used to protect me did she brainwash you is she forcing you darian picked up his phone dialed
26:55come in take her out make sure she doesn't come back as luna was pulled out she was still looking
27:00back
27:01her crying voice echoing in the corridor gradually disappearing the ward returned to silence darian
27:07stood with his back to me after a while he turned around sat back in the chair by the bed
27:11he said
27:12sorry did we wake you get some rest i looked at the ceiling didn't speak
27:19a week later dr chen said still needed observation but the left eye is gone i know falling asleep in
27:27the
27:27ward only the sound of instruments ticking i turned my head to take a look darian was still there he
27:32was
27:33curled on that sofa a size too short macbook on his knees screen lit but he wasn't looking at it
27:37awake i ignored opened my phone hundreds of messages all from darian every message i sent before the
27:45surgery he had all made up for i'm here i'm sorry i should have been there i'm here now i
27:52looked at a
27:52view averted my gaze you don't have to do this i want to darian it's pointless you don't have to
28:01accept it i just need to do it he looked at me eyes full of red veins lips chapped he
28:07closed the
28:08computer put it back in his pocket i turned over back to him the curtains weren't drawn tight a line
28:14of light fell on the back of my hand a month later discharged i booked a ticket to nice france
28:20the day
28:21of departure darian stood at the hospital entrance i'll go with you no need you shouldn't be alone
28:28i was alone before he didn't speak i hailed a taxi he stood in place wind filling his coat hem
28:35i didn't
28:36look back i went to a small town on the coat d'azur phone on messages poured in darian's dozens
28:43hundreds did you land is the place safe did you pack enough meds weather cold there did you eat
28:50just reply so i know you're safe half an hour later another it's cold there where layers i didn't reply
28:57he started sending gallery exhibition invitations to my email paris milan berlin he said his friends in
29:04art circle could help me hold a solo exhibition he said my art deserved to be seen reply not
29:09interested this isn't compensation your art is genuinely good he sent another contract a sponsorship
29:16agreement from some international art fund is this your money or the family offices he was silent for
29:2110 minutes you know everything i don't need anything from you anymore darian the phone rang i picked up
29:28he asked then what do you want nothing just sign the papers and disappear bianca wherever you go
29:35i'll follow i'll prove i was wrong i love you follow me to london paris berlin buy a house there
29:42i'll
29:42move to the next city buy up all of europe i'll go to the americas africa antarctica i won't spend
29:48my
29:48life hating you but i will spend every second of it showing you i don't love you anymore you say
29:53you
29:53want to prove you were wrong i'll prove i never look back i didn't wait for him to say anything
29:58more hung up later he really did follow when i was in paris he stayed at a hotel on the
30:04other side
30:04of the seine i moved to lion he moved too i stayed in kyoto for a month he rented an
30:09apartment nearby
30:10we never spoke occasionally seeing each other from afar on the street he would stop standing in place
30:15watching me walk past
30:19in early winter i went to chamonix at the foot of the alps the snow was heavy the road slippery
30:24i fell skinning my knee when getting up caught a glimpse of a figure in a dark gray coat at
30:29the street
30:30corner he didn't come over that night the snow stopped i sat at the window of the wooden house
30:35my phone lit up his text back then i didn't understand now i do moonlight outside the window
30:42shone on the snow very bright but couldn't sink down i looked at that message for a long time
30:47typed darian stop appearing in each other's lives he didn't reply the next morning the front desk handed
30:54me a letter without a stamp my name was written on the envelope the handwriting hiss i took it to
30:59the
30:59room placed it on the table didn't open it through the envelope could feel the paper inside probably
31:04four or five pages written pulled open the curtains the snow had cleared sky bright the street was
31:10clean he wasn't there he went back in spring i received an email from the lawyer i booked a
31:16ticket back to new york he was already waiting gray brioni suit neat hairstyle person a bit thinner
31:22jawline sharper we stood face to face let's go we sat side by side before the notary signing
31:28the staff member checked stamped all set bianca i looked at him he opened his mouth adam's apple
31:36rolling in the end only said one sentence can i hug you voice very low the trailing tone swallowed by
31:43the echo in the hall he stood before me both hands hanging at his sides not raised like a person
31:48who
31:48had lost all chips i looked at his eyes the corner of his eye read three seconds maybe five i
31:55didn't
31:55answer turned around didn't look back behind was very quiet he didn't chase nor did he call my name
32:01again pushed open the door the light outside was dazzling left i couldn't see right i was stung
32:07sore by the light i returned to that small town in the south of france stayed for a long time
32:11snow on
32:12the mountaintop hadn't melted flowers at the foot of the mountain bloomed into a sea sunlight outside the
32:17window was dazzling i remembered a long time ago someone said they would take me to see the aurora
32:22in that journal was tucked an airplane ticket destination norway the date blank not going moonlight cannot sink
32:29into the deep sea it shines on the sea surface bright in one piece shattered in another piece
32:34looks very close actually very far just like some people you thought they loved you but they were
32:40just passing by but it doesn't matter the sky will always brighten
32:44you
32:45you
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