Spurgo dei Regni
▶ Purge of Kingdoms
Spurgo dei Regni. episodi completi in italiano. #FilmCompleto #DramaItaliano #SerieCompleta
#FilmCompleto #DramaItaliano #SerieCompleta #ShortDrama #ReelShort
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▶ Purge of Kingdoms
Spurgo dei Regni. episodi completi in italiano. #FilmCompleto #DramaItaliano #SerieCompleta
#FilmCompleto #DramaItaliano #SerieCompleta #ShortDrama #ReelShort
🔤 Attiva i sottotitoli / Enable subtitles (CC)
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:43Transcription by CastingWords
00:01:21Transcription by CastingWords
00:01:43Transcription by CastingWords
00:02:15Transcription by CastingWords
00:02:26Transcription by CastingWords
00:02:29Hello, girls.
00:02:49My name is Anus.
00:02:53A-N-U-S.
00:02:59A-N-U-S.
00:03:30A-N-U-S.
00:03:31A-N-U-S.
00:03:32A-N-U-S.
00:04:24I said wine. Give me some wine now. Don't fucking spill it on me. You fucking idiot.
00:04:43Oh, yes. My lord. Yes. I have seen him.
00:04:51Who have you seen? The one who predicts our future. The one who makes us envious. The one
00:04:59who paints pictures of life and death with one fell swoop of a tweet.
00:05:15What? You brought me here for this?
00:05:17I swear he was out here. Sport.
00:05:21I'm working. I'm working.
00:05:25I'm working.
00:05:38Wow. Wow, man. He came back. Man, it's such an honor. It's, like, cool, man. Wow.
00:05:48I've seen your future. Yeah, man. I mean, look at that. It's so bright I gotta wear shades,
00:05:53you know? You know what I'm saying? Unless you quit the violence around here, all you motherfuckers
00:05:58are gonna die. Now I'm telling you, if you wanna be in any more books or TV shows, y'all
00:06:05better
00:06:05stop killing each other. And it shall be decreed thus. No longer shall we live in a land where
00:06:21the defenseless fall prey to vicious predators and sexual deviance. Let us restore the peace
00:06:27which our ancestors once enjoyed. Excuse me, my lord, but there has never been peace in
00:06:34the wild west of the world. No? No, my lord. Okay. Let it thus be decreed that it is time
00:06:42to come out of the dark ages into a new age of everlasting peace. And that is why I want
00:06:48you to join us here at Kingshire tomorrow, sundown, for Purge Fest 3000. Sounds good, doesn't
00:06:57it? I'm sorry, my lord, but did you say purge?
00:07:02Yes, yes, you impotent cocks. Yes, I did. Isn't the Purge where you violently remove a
00:07:09couple of people? No, no, no, no. It's more like a bar mitzvah with music and just a few
00:07:14whores. Make sure they're big tits, you know? I like the big tits, you know that? After you've
00:07:18sent out the invites and everyone comes to the party and we've ushered them all into the
00:07:25hall. I want you to make sure that the doors to the hall are locked from the outside. And
00:07:39then I want you to make sure that we have plenty of dragon fire because I'm going to burn everyone
00:07:51alive.
00:08:15Thank you. Thank you. No, really, really. Thank you. It was nothing.
00:08:21Now it's your turn, baby brother. Brendan, what are you doing? It's your turn. Hold on,
00:08:29hold on. I almost got a maraxis. Oh. There's no way. Oh, dog. Our father, Lord Dannard Stork,
00:08:38is watching. And so is our mother, Lady Stork. And your ginger sister, Sancia. And the Polish
00:08:44Baker, the Puerto Rican gardener, the carpenter, and a guy named Carlos. Hey. Okay, okay. Which
00:09:11point of view was the marksman at 10. I see. But keep practicing, Brendan. You'll get there
00:09:19soon enough. I don't want to pressure you or anything. But you're embarrassing our entire
00:09:24house. Try to at least hit something near the target this time. Here, just shoot. Yeah. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
00:09:30Ow! I'm all right. I'm okay. I'm fine. It's okay.
00:09:42So, what's happening? It's stuck. Oh, well. We did our best, didn't we? That's all they can ask
00:09:48for. Look. That's him. My God, he's hot. Excuse me? What's up, you horny bitches? Can I get an autograph?
00:10:03I mean, nothing's up, really. We're just talking about going to get some cheesers. Right, guys?
00:10:08Yeah. Yeah. But what about the war? It gave you stuff, Commander Doe. Well, you do this in your
00:10:17fashion. Get some help here, brothers. Yes, Commander Doe. Yes. Yes. War! War! Harder! Harder! Harder!
00:10:31Why are you grabbing my nipples? Uh, I saw the other guys, uh, helping so I thought I'd join
00:10:39in. How does that help the geek come down? Yes. Well, indeed. Yeah. Good point. Uh, my deepest
00:10:46apology is it won't happen again. Stuck. Man, this is what you get when you let Lord Trumpet
00:10:54the orange. Build the wall
00:10:56with the outsider's money.
00:11:00Men, get the torches.
00:11:03There's someone coming.
00:11:06Hello, everybody.
00:11:08It's me, Lord
00:11:10Trumpet of Orange, and I want to
00:11:12give you an update on
00:11:14my ratings. They're incredible.
00:11:17They're amazing. They're
00:11:18tremendous. Talk about the wall, sir.
00:11:20Shut up, Miller.
00:11:22This amazing wall
00:11:24which I installed and
00:11:26was paid for by the brown people
00:11:28who, by the way, did not
00:11:30vote for me. Very stupid
00:11:32and sad, frankly. No brown people, sir.
00:11:35This wall
00:11:36was built with the finest
00:11:38wood in all of
00:11:40Wild Western world.
00:11:42And, as you can see,
00:11:44it's huge.
00:11:47Just like my penis.
00:11:51Oh, my stars.
00:11:54You are like
00:11:56Mr. Daryl of Valdar.
00:12:04Ride me. Ride me
00:12:06to the end of the world, you beast.
00:12:14Denise, my skanky, slutty
00:12:17sister. There you are.
00:12:18Look what just arrived from King's
00:12:20Shire.
00:12:25It looks like
00:12:27the invitation to a party.
00:12:31When they write the history
00:12:32of my reign, it will start
00:12:34today.
00:12:38How exciting.
00:12:40What day is it?
00:12:41February 31st.
00:12:42Now we shall travel to King's Shire at once
00:12:44and deliver a special surprise
00:12:45to our friend
00:12:46the king.
00:12:47I thought you hated the king.
00:12:49Of course I hate him. He's
00:12:50fluctuating all over my throne.
00:12:51But if you hate him, then
00:12:52why will you give him a surprise?
00:12:55Never mind.
00:12:56Just pack up your things
00:12:56and bring the savage with you.
00:13:07Good evening.
00:13:09We're going to a party
00:13:10in King's Shire.
00:13:12Are there snacks?
00:13:13More snacks
00:13:14than you can imagine.
00:13:16Can I come?
00:13:17Of course you can come.
00:13:18You're the surprise.
00:13:19Wait.
00:13:20I'm not popping out
00:13:20of a cake again.
00:13:21We're going to give him
00:13:23our dragon?
00:13:24No, no.
00:13:25Not exactly.
00:13:27We shall hide Piff
00:13:28inside a pie
00:13:29and the king will cut it
00:13:30and then Piff will pop out
00:13:30and eat the king
00:13:31in front of everyone
00:13:32and I will be the new ruler
00:13:33of Wild Westerworld.
00:13:35Wait.
00:13:35Did you just say
00:13:35eat the king?
00:13:37Yes, I did.
00:13:37Do you have a problem with that?
00:13:39Well, I'm actually a pescatarian
00:13:40so I don't eat
00:13:42any living creature
00:13:43apart from fish
00:13:44because they deserve it
00:13:45because they're dickheads.
00:13:47Well, then just
00:13:48chew his head off
00:13:49and spit it out.
00:13:50What do I care?
00:13:51As long as he dies.
00:13:51Can I choke him out?
00:13:52Because I'm not very good
00:13:53around blood.
00:13:53Yes, yes.
00:13:54I just need him dead.
00:13:55Hold on.
00:13:56I've got a better idea.
00:13:59What about Killer here?
00:14:01Uh, no.
00:14:02You will do the killing.
00:14:04Well, I've already
00:14:05named him Killer
00:14:05so it just seems appropriate
00:14:06that he should kill.
00:14:07I said no,
00:14:08you will kill him.
00:14:10Fine.
00:14:10I'll kill him.
00:14:11He'll be dead to you.
00:14:13Just like you're dead to me.
00:14:15Mean me by the pile of horse shit
00:14:16when he's done with you?
00:14:18Which one?
00:14:25Diego.
00:14:26My moon and my stars.
00:14:28Can you go harder?
00:14:32Harder.
00:14:33Harder like you're
00:14:34taking me to the moon.
00:14:35You want to go to the moon?
00:14:36I'll go to the moon.
00:14:38Yes!
00:14:39Yes!
00:14:57Boys, parties, style, fame, glamour, runway, style.
00:15:09Babe.
00:15:11She likes gashu.
00:15:18She likes gashu.
00:15:25She likes gashu.
00:15:27She likes gashu.
00:15:33Oh my God!
00:15:36It's got like an invitation.
00:15:38It's a party.
00:15:39Clearly, that's for me.
00:15:41This is my pool.
00:15:43Yeah, but...
00:15:57Phone, Sebastian.
00:15:59Give me my phone.
00:16:05Oh my God!
00:16:07Me too!
00:16:08Pack your things
00:16:09because we're going to a party!
00:16:14Oh, well, this is...
00:16:15It's like genocide,
00:16:16but without the Jews.
00:16:19And bring your own whores.
00:16:22Oh my God, you're right.
00:16:24We could be the whores.
00:16:26Oh my God!
00:16:27We're going to be so famous!
00:16:29Come on, come on, come on!
00:16:30Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on!
00:16:32Why?
00:16:35Because it's Purge Fest.
00:16:38Duh!
00:16:44Oh no!
00:16:45Oh no, I told you guys!
00:16:47Oh, I told you we shouldn't have gone here now!
00:16:49We're going to die!
00:16:51God help us!
00:16:53Where are you going?
00:16:55You fucking coward!
00:16:57Johnny, do something!
00:16:59Do the hair!
00:17:01Yes!
00:17:03Do dance magic!
00:17:05Yeah, do it, Johnny!
00:17:20Shake your hair, bitch!
00:17:22Do it!
00:17:29Oh, that's...
00:17:29Oh, that's hot!
00:17:30That's hot!
00:17:31Oh, yeah, yeah!
00:17:32Go for all of them!
00:17:33All of them!
00:17:38Wow!
00:17:40Fast!
00:17:40Woo!
00:17:48Do it, Johnny!
00:17:50Just...
00:17:51Holy mother...
00:17:53Holy shit!
00:18:00Uncle Tony!
00:18:02Lord!
00:18:03Avayan!
00:18:05Holy shit!
00:18:06How did you do that?
00:18:08Screw my suit!
00:18:08You guys going to Purge Fest?
00:18:09Ah, my family wouldn't want me there!
00:18:12I'm a bastard!
00:18:12What do you mean your family wouldn't want you there?
00:18:14I'm your family!
00:18:15And you...
00:18:15You know what you need?
00:18:16You need some makeup!
00:18:17Make yourself pretty on the inside!
00:18:19Does that work?
00:18:20Does it work?
00:18:21I think I met your mother!
00:18:22You know my mother?
00:18:23Of course I know your mother!
00:18:24I'm your uncle!
00:18:24Who is she?
00:18:25Listen, we're going to go to Purge Fest!
00:18:27You'll meet your mother!
00:18:28I can't go right now!
00:18:29I've got to go out of the Segovia!
00:18:30I've got a hot widow in a castle!
00:18:32And, uh...
00:18:33Anyway, she's waiting for me!
00:18:34But you guys will see at Purge Fest!
00:18:36All right, good!
00:18:37All right, later, guys!
00:18:38So, not everyone has a win, I'm sorry!
00:18:42Sorry, Father!
00:18:43I was aiming for a target, but he was in the way!
00:18:46It's okay, boy!
00:18:50Lord Stalk, Lady Stalk, the guardsmen have returned from the hillside!
00:18:53They've captured the deserter from the wall!
00:18:55Bob tells it meant to shadow the horses!
00:18:57Brendan, you come with me!
00:18:59Are you sure, Dennett?
00:19:00Don't you think he's too young to see such things?
00:19:03He won't be a child forever, my dear!
00:19:06This will be a good lesson for him!
00:19:08Come on, Brendan!
00:19:09I will teach you how to deal with the deserters!
00:19:14I've got peanuts!
00:19:16There!
00:19:17Toy heads for the kids!
00:19:19Peanuts!
00:19:21Peanuts!
00:19:22Is there anything you'd like to say in your defense
00:19:24before I deliver your sentence?
00:19:26Yeah.
00:19:27I know I broke my own, but I'm not a goddamn designer!
00:19:29I know I should go on to the wall, I'm wanting them!
00:19:31But I saw what I saw, so I wouldn't just pass my legs to carry it!
00:19:33You might think I deserve to die like a dog.
00:19:35People need a little truth.
00:19:36I made a cat eat all of yours, and the devil ate the cat, and that's all.
00:19:40Does anyone understand what this man said?
00:19:43No!
00:19:44Very well.
00:19:45Off with his head!
00:19:47Yeah!
00:19:52Fucking gobshite.
00:19:56Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!
00:19:58He can't hear you!
00:19:59Where's the boom guy?
00:20:00He can't hear you!
00:20:04Is he union?
00:20:05No!
00:20:07Yay!
00:20:08I'm free!
00:20:10In the name of Walter of the House of Falafo,
00:20:14I, Dedrick,
00:20:16son of Fendro,
00:20:17husband of Lady Stork,
00:20:18lover of Athena,
00:20:20Katrina,
00:20:21Seraphina,
00:20:22and Salvador,
00:20:23father of Macaulay McCoctum,
00:20:25Bobit,
00:20:26Arianna,
00:20:27Sancia...
00:20:28Oh, just do it already!
00:20:29Who said that?
00:20:31Father,
00:20:32sorry, I just,
00:20:33I can't stand the sight of real blood.
00:20:35This is the old way, boy.
00:20:36The man who passes the sentence
00:20:38must deliver the blow.
00:20:40Now put that game down,
00:20:41come here,
00:20:42I'll chop his head off.
00:20:46Oh, dog.
00:20:49You may go.
00:20:50My boy will hold him down.
00:20:52Now hold it.
00:20:53Hold still.
00:20:55Steady.
00:21:00I told you to stay steady!
00:21:04Here come Lady Stork.
00:21:06Don't say a word.
00:21:08Oh, hello, my dear.
00:21:10What things are here?
00:21:11Where's Brendan?
00:21:12Uh, he had a small accident,
00:21:14but there's nothing the major can't fix.
00:21:16We just received an invitation
00:21:18to King Shire
00:21:19for Purge Fest 3000.
00:21:21What is that?
00:21:22A party
00:21:23to purge all violence
00:21:24from the kingdoms.
00:21:25That is wonderful!
00:21:27I think that you should go alone.
00:21:29Our enemies will be there
00:21:30and it may be dangerous
00:21:32for the children.
00:21:33What say you?
00:21:34Father,
00:21:35Prince Dizzy will be there
00:21:36and I must meet him.
00:21:38He is the love of my life.
00:21:39I'm going to marry him.
00:21:41I want to lie naked
00:21:42in his bed
00:21:43while he drizzles
00:21:44hot honey
00:21:45all over my body.
00:21:46Now, now,
00:21:46don't get upset.
00:21:48There's no safer place
00:21:49in the entire realm
00:21:50than King Shire, my dear.
00:21:52I'm certain
00:21:53that nothing bad
00:21:54will happen to us.
00:21:56My children,
00:21:57pack your bags.
00:21:58We're going to the capital!
00:22:02Oh, no!
00:22:03Oh, no!
00:22:03Oh, no!
00:22:06Oh, no!
00:22:07Oh, no!
00:22:07Oh, no!
00:22:08Oh, no!
00:22:08Oh, no!
00:22:10Oh, no!
00:22:10Oh, no!
00:22:10Oh, no!
00:22:11Oh, no!
00:22:26And now,
00:22:28the benevolent,
00:22:30the magnificent
00:22:31and the extremely dignified
00:22:34Prince Dizzy!
00:22:39That's my boy.
00:22:46Ladies, ladies,
00:22:48all the sexy ladies
00:22:49longing for a prince like me.
00:22:52Some of them be cherry ripe,
00:22:56some be lewd
00:22:57and some be shrewd,
00:22:59all longing for a prince like me.
00:23:03Mongrel,
00:23:03you're in the wrong key.
00:23:05I believe it is the right one,
00:23:07your grace.
00:23:08What did you say?
00:23:10I thought you were right,
00:23:12your grace.
00:23:13I believe the only right key
00:23:15is the one
00:23:16that'll open the door
00:23:17to this shithole
00:23:18so we can all get out
00:23:20before this
00:23:20penis starts singing again.
00:23:22What did you call me?
00:23:24You're mostly honourable.
00:23:29Prince Dizzy,
00:23:30of course.
00:23:31That's what I thought.
00:23:35Mongrel will kill him.
00:23:45Mummy!
00:23:47That's it.
00:23:48Run to mummy.
00:23:49If it's mongrel.
00:23:50Go play something,
00:23:51funk.
00:23:52Go!
00:23:53No.
00:23:54Mummy!
00:24:04I like my phone.
00:24:06I'm serious.
00:24:26Damn.
00:24:28Good boy.
00:24:37Did you get your invitation to Purgefest?
00:24:40I got it. It's a good plan.
00:24:43Talking about it. It's the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
00:24:47Just another woman with my husband. Stupid, bloody ideas, that drunk bastard. What?
00:24:54It's a brilliant opportunity to kill.
00:24:57What did you say?
00:24:58I said, Purgefest is an excellent opportunity to kill your husband.
00:25:07You're not just a beautiful face, are you?
00:25:10You've got stuff going on up there.
00:25:13I love it when you talk dirty to me.
00:25:18After the king is dead, our son will take the throne.
00:25:23Jizzy.
00:25:24Jizzy.
00:25:25Jizzy.
00:25:25Jizzy.
00:25:27Jizzy.
00:25:28Jizzy!
00:25:31Jizzy!
00:25:32Jizzy!
00:25:34Jizzy.
00:25:35Jizzy.
00:25:35Jizzy.
00:25:36Jizzy.
00:25:40Mother?
00:25:47Hello.
00:25:48Nephew.
00:25:52i heard someone in this direction calling my name oh oh honey you must be hearing things
00:25:59why don't you go run along play with yourself i'm not finished with your uncle can i go shoot
00:26:04peasants for my crossbow no honey not today i just can't be bothered with any main bumpkins
00:26:10whining with their wretched families at the castle gates please mother not today
00:26:16sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
00:26:23what's this
00:26:26this is a toy from the future oh dear god give your uncle his hand back give your uncle his
00:26:32hand back now no way it's so much fun no you know what ah no darling
00:26:41i changed my mind you can go shoot the peasants now darling thank you mother
00:27:06hello everybody have you noticed the beautiful white swans behind me they remind me of my
00:27:16favorite type of people graceful and white very very white inclusivity sir they are so beautiful
00:27:27and they love me for bringing them into this world almost as much as my beautiful russian
00:27:34male order bride and you know what the best part about the swans is they're just as racist as i
00:27:41am
00:27:42non-racist sir non-racist as i am
00:28:00so beautiful out here i wonder who planted all these trees
00:28:05i just spent a fortune in gardeners
00:28:10hey where are you going you ass wife come back here i'll sue you
00:28:15where'd he go
00:28:16i can't believe he did
00:28:18let's get out
00:28:19here just
00:28:20okay
00:28:21check it
00:28:23okay i'm fine
00:28:24okay
00:28:31oh no you're your tits hanging out oh yeah you're gonna uh
00:28:36you know one can see okay yeah that's true for sure that's good what are we gonna do i don't
00:28:42know
00:28:43i don't know
00:28:47you're gonna be kidding me right now you meet your gods tell them shaggy son of a
00:28:56scooby from the rock paper scissor clan sent you please don't kill me
00:29:02please don't kill me
00:29:05and
00:29:08tell me
00:29:10where do women of your physique come from
00:29:13the hills of beverly
00:29:15do they all have the same curves as you
00:29:18most do
00:29:19yes
00:29:21if they can afford it
00:29:22i think we may have to visit someday
00:29:26after we kill you
00:29:28what
00:29:28shit
00:29:29oh
00:29:35oh
00:29:36oh
00:29:37haha
00:29:37oh
00:29:38ok just
00:29:41evo
00:29:42get out
00:29:43ok ok
00:29:44ok
00:29:46Mr. Shaggy, my name is Clueless of House Cardocian.
00:29:54Tell me, Clueless, how would you like to die?
00:30:01Choking on a gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream in my jacuzzi while having sex with you.
00:30:10The fat one's got to say some humor. Take her as a slave and kill the other one.
00:30:15What?
00:30:16What?
00:30:18Who are you calling fat, Bet?
00:30:20Oh, she's feisty.
00:30:23Give me back my hammer or the family dies.
00:30:26Hang on a second. How many followers do you have?
00:30:36I have five followers.
00:30:40How do you expect me to take you seriously if you only have five followers?
00:30:47How many do you have?
00:30:49Thousands.
00:30:52Where are they?
00:30:53They're in here.
00:30:55And when I make my sex tape, I'll have millions and millions of followers.
00:31:05Well, join the club. Everyone does that around here.
00:31:08Really?
00:31:09Oh, yeah. Practically all the time.
00:31:11Yeah.
00:31:13How am I supposed to get famous now?
00:31:27Somebody say famous?
00:31:31Me?
00:31:33Me famous?
00:31:35I can make all of you bitches famous.
00:31:39I need it.
00:31:40I need it.
00:31:41I need it.
00:31:42Oh, my God.
00:31:43Okay, duck face.
00:31:45David.
00:31:49Your majesty.
00:31:55Oh?
00:31:55No.
00:32:00Shut up.
00:32:01Oh, I'm hunting.
00:32:03My apologies, my lord.
00:32:03My apologies, my lord.
00:32:04Yes.
00:32:05You've done it again, your majesty.
00:32:07First shot.
00:32:08Very good.
00:32:10Take that beast.
00:32:11Give it to the cook for tonight's feast.
00:32:16The event is just hours away, my lord.
00:32:19Yes.
00:32:21The, um...
00:32:23Yeah.
00:32:24Spit it out.
00:32:25The dragon fire has disappeared.
00:32:29The dragon fire has disappeared.
00:32:31How does the dragon fire?
00:32:37I'm afraid I do not know, my lord.
00:32:41I'm going to explain one thing to you.
00:32:43You're going to get rid of all those people tonight.
00:32:45I don't care how you do it.
00:32:47You throw them off the castle wall.
00:32:49You drown them in the moat.
00:32:51Uh, feed them to the little beasties of the fucking forest.
00:32:55Use your imagination, will you, man?
00:32:58I want to think of something.
00:33:00Okay.
00:33:00Hold, hold my word.
00:33:03Uh, come here, you little bastard.
00:33:07Ah!
00:33:08Oh!
00:33:09Oh!
00:33:10Oh!
00:33:17Any more bad news you've got for the king today?
00:33:21Lord Deadard Stork and his family are about to arrive.
00:33:24Would you like to...
00:33:26...tweet?
00:33:27Well, yes, of course I'd like to greet, my dear, long-lost friend.
00:33:33I mean, why didn't you bring that up in the first place?
00:33:38Do you want to tell me?
00:33:40You...
00:33:41Come on.
00:33:41Oh!
00:33:51The king is like a feather in the air.
00:33:55He goes whichever way the wind blows.
00:33:58And right now, Deadard is blowing him hard.
00:34:18Oh, that's lovely.
00:34:20Good work.
00:34:21Yes.
00:34:33Ah!
00:34:34Ah!
00:34:35Ah, there we go.
00:34:38Ah!
00:34:40Ah!
00:34:40Ah!
00:34:42Lord Trumpet's Wall.
00:34:44Journal entry number one.
00:34:48It's called a shit out here.
00:34:50In the middle of nowhere.
00:34:53As we look for nothing.
00:34:54For no reason whatsoever.
00:34:57Hm?
00:34:58The story of my life.
00:35:01A bastard life.
00:35:03I'm bored.
00:35:04We could be on our way to Perchfest right now.
00:35:07I wouldn't want two more bastards, sir.
00:35:09Oh, come on.
00:35:10Half of the people in this kingdom are bastards.
00:35:13And the other half are just inbred morons.
00:35:16Besides, there will be women, entertainment, cheeses.
00:35:22Hm?
00:35:22All the inventories.
00:35:26I'm a bastard child.
00:35:31Living on a wall with forty celibate men.
00:35:38Okay.
00:35:38Uh, wait.
00:35:39I...
00:35:39I didn't want to scare you.
00:35:42But...
00:35:42I received a note from an hour earlier that said the storks might be in danger.
00:35:48When did you see him out?
00:35:51Uh...
00:35:52It...
00:35:52It...
00:35:53It was when I...
00:35:54When I went to the bathroom.
00:35:57I've been with you all day.
00:35:59Who said that?
00:36:00It was anonymous.
00:36:02I've never heard of it.
00:36:04Where is it?
00:36:06I...
00:36:07I...
00:36:07I burned it.
00:36:08Why would you burn the message?
00:36:10Because I was afraid it would get into the wrong hands.
00:36:12Look, we can discuss this forever.
00:36:14But the point is, we don't have much time if we don't have that now.
00:36:17Your family might be killed.
00:36:19My family doesn't want to see you.
00:36:21Oh, bloody hell.
00:36:22Are you going to sit here mopping all day about not having a mother?
00:36:25Or are you going to get up and do something?
00:36:31Let's go to Purchback.
00:36:33Right now.
00:36:36Both of us.
00:36:37Let's do it.
00:36:38Let's do it.
00:36:44Pack your bags.
00:36:45Yes.
00:36:46Get your best dress.
00:36:47Yes.
00:36:48I'll get the car and we're going to Purchback.
00:36:51Yes!
00:36:51Yes, let's do it Johnny!
00:37:03Don't tell me you're playing that stupid game again.
00:37:06It's not stupid.
00:37:07I like it.
00:37:08Promise me you won't play with it while we're in Kingshire.
00:37:11Promise.
00:37:12Hodog.
00:37:13No playing.
00:37:14Hodog, Hodog.
00:37:15T-
00:37:31Your grace.
00:37:36Little gold.
00:37:41And you're so fat the last time they took out the counterpoint they thought you was a boulder
00:37:58Just like the old days
00:38:04Your grace
00:38:07Tight as a fist as always
00:38:11And where are the little ones?
00:38:16Not so little anymore
00:38:19Little Bobby, have you tortured any defenseless little puppies lately?
00:38:26You must be the tomboy
00:38:35Hello in there
00:38:40Oh it's the pretty little girly one
00:38:42She loves to play with the little dollies
00:38:45The little dollies
00:38:46Oh
00:38:52And what have we? Here we have the athletic little hydropry
00:38:54Up and down
00:38:55Show us those legs
00:39:00I like pussy
00:39:02Oh dog
00:39:03Oh
00:39:04Pussy
00:39:05Oh dog
00:39:06Pussy
00:39:07Oh dog
00:39:08Pussy
00:39:08Oh dog
00:39:12Welcome to pigshire
00:39:15Welcome to pigshire
00:39:16Mie casa su casa
00:39:17Meet the family
00:39:19Come here
00:39:20This is cursi
00:39:21My wife
00:39:27And johnny
00:39:29Bang bang johnny we call him
00:39:31But he likes to bag anything that fucking moves
00:39:34And jizzy
00:39:35My boy
00:39:36I'm so fucking proud of him
00:39:39Great shot with that thing
00:39:41I think he looks just like you
00:39:43He does does he?
00:39:44Tell me about this purge fest
00:39:46Why this big party all of a sudden
00:39:48You've never done anything like this before
00:39:50Well excuse us we've got a little talk
00:39:52Come on
00:39:56You're the best friend I have in the whole wide world
00:40:00So I'm going to be honest with you
00:40:02This isn't a party
00:40:04I'm going to just kill the competition before it kills me
00:40:06Right
00:40:07You're becoming paranoid
00:40:09Eh
00:40:10Everyone loves you
00:40:11Me I give my left testicle for you
00:40:14Well that's cause you're a moron
00:40:16Call me what you will
00:40:18But I still believe in the old ways
00:40:21Loyalty
00:40:22Honesty
00:40:23Character
00:40:24And integrity
00:40:30Okay I'll go get a snack
00:40:37While I figure out how to murder every single woman
00:40:49That is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen
00:40:51At least use a fork and knife you pig
00:40:54And what's taking you so long?
00:40:55I'd like to keep moving
00:40:57Get to molestate my hermana
00:40:58And let me calm down and eat my shit
00:41:02You are an embarrassment to me and our entire family
00:41:06When I rule the eight kingdoms I will have to educate you properly
00:41:09You can't just be on a rocking horse with that beast of yours
00:41:13And dining on horse bars with your bare hands
00:41:15Yes
00:41:16I can see
00:41:18I'm going to you and I'm going to your mother
00:41:21We are part of a dynasty
00:41:23The greatest dynasty the world has ever known
00:41:25We are dragons
00:41:27Well I'm a dragon I don't know who you are
00:41:29Actually I'm a dragon
00:41:31How dare you correct me
00:41:33You say I'm the dragon
00:41:35You say I'm the dragon
00:41:37Say I'm the dragon
00:41:38You're the dragon
00:41:39And don't you forget it
00:41:40And by the way
00:41:42Ow
00:41:43That's what a real dragon sounds like
00:41:46Take it easy
00:41:48Diego's going to get mad
00:41:50So what if he gets mad?
00:41:51He still doesn't even speak the common tongue
00:41:54He's getting pissed
00:41:55He may not speak it
00:41:56But he understands it
00:41:58I want to go
00:41:59Now
00:42:00I want the crown I deserve
00:42:02You want a crown?
00:42:04I'm going to give you a crown
00:42:06A crown of shit
00:42:09What did he say?
00:42:10You said he'll give you your crown
00:42:13No
00:42:14What?
00:42:16Denise what's happening?
00:42:17What is he doing with that bucket?
00:42:18No
00:42:19No you keep that away from me
00:42:20You can
00:42:21I'm a king
00:42:21I am a king
00:42:22A crown for a king
00:42:25No
00:42:45I think he's dead
00:42:46I think he's dead
00:42:46Si
00:42:53You want some of this?
00:42:54Yes
00:42:54Please
00:42:55Thank you
00:42:56Mmm
00:42:57Yum
00:42:57Yum
00:42:57Yum
00:42:57Yum
00:42:58Yum
00:42:58Yum
00:43:00Yum
00:43:00Yum
00:43:00Yum
00:43:00Yum
00:43:01Yum
00:43:01Yum
00:43:01Yum
00:43:01Yum
00:43:02Yum
00:43:03Yum
00:43:03Yum
00:43:04Yum
00:43:17I have stolen all the dragon fire and hidden it in the basement.
00:43:26When all the families sit down for the feast, I will burn them and you and I will be the
00:43:34new rulers of the kingdom.
00:43:37Yes, I got you, you nasty little devil.
00:43:40Now, wait till I tell all my friends about you.
00:43:41They won't believe it.
00:43:44Get him!
00:43:46Quite the little pervert, aren't you?
00:43:49What's happening?
00:43:49What's going on?
00:43:50I was just up here having some fun.
00:43:52Having some fun?
00:43:53Is that what you call it?
00:43:55Playing with my dragon?
00:43:57Following the creature, yes?
00:43:58Popping the beast?
00:43:59Chasing the serpent?
00:44:01Tickling the lizard?
00:44:02We get it.
00:44:03What are you doing?
00:44:04You're going to kill him!
00:44:06I'm saving our asses.
00:44:10The kid is just playing dragon.
00:44:15Right.
00:44:20Can I have my dragon on the back, please?
00:44:22This is nothing but numb your brain and get you in trouble.
00:44:25No!
00:44:26Hold my dragon on!
00:44:31It's okay.
00:44:33The game!
00:44:34Still works.
00:44:37He's still alive.
00:44:41It's a miracle.
00:44:51I saw the best joust match the other day.
00:44:55Anus at the tip of his lance into the other guy's neck.
00:44:58There was blood gushing everywhere.
00:45:00It was pretty fun.
00:45:01Sounds interesting.
00:45:05No, I couldn't.
00:45:06Let's do it.
00:45:09Okay.
00:45:10Wait!
00:45:26No, no!
00:45:31No!
00:45:33No!
00:45:43what is it my sweet lady does mongrel bother you away with you mongrel you're scaring my lady
00:45:56there that's just the two of us so would you like to do for fun
00:46:02I uh so cook masturbate and clean twice a day in that order a traditional woman I like that
00:46:13I'm not into these women who want to work or fight or talk
00:46:22take that fatty you'll never defeat me don't worry my lady I got this
00:46:28why shouldn't you hurry you're safe with me from what surrender your weapon fat boy
00:46:33let go of my girl sister I'll slice you in half like a loaf of bread
00:46:36be a man relax I'm not a man I'm your prince
00:46:42dude seriously stop messing around we're actors on movie
00:46:46don't move I saw it with my own eyes you attacked her with your sword
00:46:49no he didn't he's my friend
00:46:54this it's just a stick do you want it oh my god
00:46:58quiet my lady no one can defeat me in combat
00:47:04now fight me like a man
00:47:13how dare you hit your prince you aren't a prince
00:47:17you're a penis what did she call me she called you a prince sir
00:47:22you're nothing but a little penis
00:47:26a walking talking penis
00:47:31admit it to everybody here that you're nothing but a penis
00:47:35never say it
00:47:49why don't people like me
00:47:51they're jealous of you sir
00:47:54am I good looking
00:47:56yeah yeah you are
00:47:58you hesitated for a bit there
00:48:00no no I didn't
00:48:01look you did it again
00:48:03no
00:48:03you you you do it
00:48:06all right all right
00:48:07all right fuck you
00:48:10you think you're ever going to be king my boy
00:48:12you got another thing coming you're always going to be a little prince
00:48:16who's got a little dick
00:48:17this is the biggest dick you're ever going to see my boy
00:48:20in this water this reflection
00:48:21is the only dick you're ever going to have
00:48:29so are you guys coming with us to Perth fast or what
00:48:31nah I don't know I don't think that place is all seen really
00:48:40who
00:48:41is that
00:48:44it's that one
00:48:45no
00:48:46one with the hair
00:48:49he's so hot
00:48:59you two need to leave
00:49:02there is no place for you in here
00:49:05now leave
00:49:06before I smash you
00:49:08with my hammer
00:49:09oh
00:49:10I see
00:49:11I think I saw another
00:49:13in a few steps from here
00:49:15maybe we should go to that one
00:49:17shouldn't we
00:49:18yeah
00:49:23why should we leave
00:49:25we have the same right to be here as any of you
00:49:28who's that sir
00:49:31Mary
00:49:46the meister says it's a miracle he's still alive
00:49:50help
00:49:51help
00:49:53our boy is strong
00:49:54he won't survive
00:49:55you're safe
00:49:56I think someone pushed him out of that tower deadhead
00:49:59I think he saw something he shouldn't have seen and they tried to murder him
00:50:03come on
00:50:04who are
00:50:04who are you sister
00:50:05Johnny and Cursy
00:50:07no
00:50:08the Boltons
00:50:09the fries
00:50:10the high pigeon
00:50:11could have been anyone
00:50:12maybe even the lay my sisters
00:50:14that's outrageous
00:50:15those are all the night honorable families you're talking about
00:50:18the lay my sisters would never hurt a child
00:50:26we have to watch
00:50:28our backs
00:50:28you never know
00:50:30who would stab us in the back
00:50:32I think you need the rest
00:50:33you're becoming paranoid like the rest of that
00:50:36wait wait wait
00:50:37where are you going
00:50:38I'm going to get to the bottom
00:50:41of this
00:50:49Lord Stork
00:50:51the king
00:50:52would like to talk to you
00:50:53in private
00:50:54yes
00:50:55of course
00:50:56I'll be there
00:51:03what's happening
00:51:04what's happening
00:51:09Ham
00:51:11Ham
00:51:12you
00:51:13a-hole
00:51:14I'm sorry
00:51:18Zach
00:51:19step right up
00:51:20step right up
00:51:21who wants to get a bastard
00:51:26he ain't making a part of those two
00:51:35come on
00:51:36I wasn't any good was I
00:51:37I wasn't any good
00:51:39and I wanted to
00:51:41fuck
00:51:42hello
00:51:44having a wonderful time here
00:51:47oh god I miss your sister
00:51:49you know the old days
00:51:52they were beautiful
00:51:53your sister was a real girl
00:51:55she was such a party
00:51:56her little tits
00:51:57and her little ass of hers
00:51:58ah she was wonderful
00:51:59she reminds me of you a little bit
00:52:01how do you keep your stomach flat like that
00:52:03I have to get on a diet
00:52:05I mean I'm good in bed
00:52:07but I'm not like your sister
00:52:09she could take 45 people one go
00:52:11one time saw her with the camel
00:52:13with it all in her mouth
00:52:15it was quite beautiful
00:52:16in some horrific kind of way
00:52:18anyway
00:52:19do you want to have a little shot
00:52:20with this one
00:52:22you want to have a little shot
00:52:26whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
00:52:27how can I help you my lord
00:52:30what I
00:52:31oh I do need a favor from you
00:52:34whatever it is
00:52:35you can count on me my lord
00:52:36you're like my brother
00:52:37yes all right
00:52:38don't interrupt
00:52:39the king
00:52:40now
00:52:40you know that I am surrounded by a bunch of money grubbing
00:52:43ass licking
00:52:45scummy little piggy
00:52:47alcoholic people in this kingdom
00:52:49and somebody's gonna try and kill me
00:52:51tonight
00:52:52okay
00:52:53listen
00:52:54listen
00:52:55we've already discussed this
00:52:57don't you
00:52:57don't fear to unground it
00:52:59no one would dare harm a king
00:53:02okay well
00:53:04I happen to disagree with you
00:53:06and therefore I'm going to command you
00:53:09to protect the realm
00:53:11for my little jizzy-wizzy boy
00:53:14so he can come and take all of the things
00:53:16and have it all okay
00:53:17please
00:53:19you can count on me my lord
00:53:20I mean I'm not gonna
00:53:21copy there
00:53:21okay thank you
00:53:23all right go on then
00:53:24you want a little shot
00:53:25because I'm gonna
00:53:26go again
00:53:30come here
00:53:57that column won't hit back you know
00:53:59who are you
00:54:01I am
00:54:02master dancer
00:54:04lover
00:54:06and the best
00:54:08swordsman
00:54:09you have ever seen
00:54:12my name is
00:54:14Zorio Thuriel
00:54:20oh the grip is a bit slippery
00:54:22excuse me
00:54:23what are you doing here
00:54:24chasing rats
00:54:25part of your training
00:54:27no
00:54:27the rodent situation in king's shire
00:54:30is out of hand
00:54:31sword
00:54:32here
00:54:34catch this sword
00:54:35looks like your reflexes
00:54:37could use some
00:54:38practice
00:54:39pick up your weapon
00:54:43that is not the way
00:54:45boy
00:54:46I'm a girl
00:54:48that cannot be true
00:54:49anyway
00:54:50this is how you pick up
00:54:53a sword
00:55:05I am just showing you how not to do it
00:55:09wouldn't want to knock yourself in the giggle berries
00:55:12I don't have giggle berries
00:55:15I'm a girl
00:55:25this sword is all badly balanced
00:55:27last time
00:55:32now that is how you do it
00:55:34now
00:55:36get into the fighting position
00:55:41that is not the fighting position
00:55:43turn to me side faced
00:55:46side faced
00:55:47yes
00:55:48that is what I said
00:55:49side faced
00:55:50I have been the first swordman of the bravados for twenty years
00:55:53you must listen to me boy
00:55:55I'm a girl
00:55:56no way
00:55:57where are your boobies then
00:55:58I'm like ten
00:55:59very well then
00:56:00I'm side faced
00:56:04good
00:56:05now
00:56:05try to strike me
00:56:08oh
00:56:09oh you
00:56:10I wasn't expecting that
00:56:12I'm sorry
00:56:13knock the wind out of me
00:56:14let me help you up
00:56:17you have to wait for me
00:56:18to say go
00:56:20okay
00:56:23go
00:56:23not above the shoulders
00:56:25don't have the proper gear for that
00:56:28you're only supposed to hit me in this section here
00:56:31follow me
00:56:31I will teach you to
00:56:33fan
00:56:34go
00:56:35and then perhaps
00:56:36you will become
00:56:37a great swordsman like me
00:56:46fans
00:56:47would send me
00:56:50hold it
00:56:54hold it
00:57:00we are not
00:57:01what in the name of the old guard are you doing
00:57:04Zorio was teaching me to Fandango.
00:57:06Zorio Furiel at your service.
00:57:09We must go.
00:57:10Hurst Fess is about to begin.
00:57:12Yes, father.
00:57:13Keep practicing and you will go far.
00:57:15I must go to chase the rats.
00:57:18Good luck, boy!
00:57:23Hello, everybody.
00:57:25It's me, Lloyd Trumpet, here at the Tremendous Trumpet Mace.
00:57:31Everyone loves this mace.
00:57:32You know why?
00:57:34Because only white people can get through it.
00:57:36And brown people get trapped.
00:57:40Sir!
00:57:41Sir!
00:57:42I'm stuck, sir!
00:57:42I need help!
00:57:43Sir!
00:57:45Sir!
00:57:46I can't get out, sir!
00:57:48Total delusion.
00:57:51Oh, no, Johnny.
00:57:57What did you do, KK?
00:57:58Why did you have to stab him?
00:58:00I didn't stab him.
00:58:01Yes, you did.
00:58:02You're a murderer.
00:58:04Amit.
00:58:04I didn't do it.
00:58:06Okay, if you didn't, then you did it.
00:58:10I didn't do it.
00:58:12I saw you do it.
00:58:13Me?
00:58:14No!
00:58:14I'd never kill John, though.
00:58:17You sure about that?
00:58:18Oh, no, I did.
00:58:20Oh, yeah.
00:58:22Oh, yeah, I did.
00:58:23Okay, well, let's just get him into the back room, okay?
00:58:25Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:58:26Okay.
00:58:27Sam, come on!
00:58:28Okay, let's go.
00:58:29Oh, my God.
00:58:33Eight hundred paces will be in Kingshire.
00:58:36I will be the first female ruler of all of Wild Westworld.
00:58:41My destiny awaits.
00:58:47Do you have horse heart by any chance?
00:58:50Hold on.
00:58:52Hold on.
00:58:53Hold on.
00:58:54Okay.
00:58:55Can you make me feel sad, babe?
00:58:58Okay.
00:58:59Let's go this way.
00:59:02Oh, no, no.
00:59:04Johnny, what do we do?
00:59:05What do we do?
00:59:06His clothes.
00:59:07Rip them off.
00:59:08Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:59:09Help.
00:59:10Copy.
00:59:11No chance.
00:59:12Can you get his...
00:59:17Hello, ladyboys.
00:59:18Oh, look who it is.
00:59:20It's the red sorceress.
00:59:22Oh, perhaps you can bring him back to life.
00:59:24Uh, that's not the red sorceress.
00:59:26That's our stepdad, transgender.
00:59:29All right.
00:59:30I'm out.
00:59:32What's going on?
00:59:33That man saved us from the bad people, and now he's dead.
00:59:38Why are his clothes coming off?
00:59:40We just wanted to see what he looked like naked.
00:59:43Oh.
00:59:44Oh, is that what you're looking for?
00:59:46Oh, I can just tell you what it looks like.
00:59:48Oh.
00:59:50He's so, so warm.
00:59:53And so, so soft.
00:59:56Leave the room.
00:59:58I can't make any promises.
01:00:00I need to work my dad's fingers.
01:00:08Come on, Judas.
01:00:09No, no, no, no.
01:00:15Yo ya no puedo más.
01:00:17No puedo.
01:00:19Tengo una diarrea terrible.
01:00:22Y ese corazón de caballo que me diste me cayó como una bomba.
01:00:28Un paso más.
01:00:31Y me cago encima.
01:00:35Una de tra unos, así.
01:00:41Y eso tra deja.
01:00:49match my son and my star may I worry my hair is falling all over my hair take it
01:01:18burn him okay let's go conquer the eight kingdoms sorry buddy
01:01:28dad are you going to be much longer than just going to metal line in the pub
01:01:33I'm just going to magic what do you need just wanted to make sure everything is okay
01:01:37yes everything is fine just let me finish okay I will
01:02:05my falling what just happened who did this
01:02:22that's a funny place to keep a rabbit
01:02:23you were dead I just blow you back to life
01:02:40you're not going to put it there are you
01:02:48who is that oh that's summer summer is coming
01:02:59that must be him
01:03:13I don't know how you managed to do all of us at once
01:03:16you're a true master
01:03:18well I told you my secret I'd have to kill you both
01:03:25so close your eyes now come on both of you close your eyes
01:03:38that's it
01:03:39you can open them now
01:03:43your time is up troll you're coming with us
01:03:46where to grab him
01:03:48oh
01:03:49excuse me
01:03:55oh come on troll
01:03:56wait wait I haven't a chance to punch my free gun to a card
01:04:00oh keep it in your pants
01:04:03tell me brother
01:04:15hold on hold on
01:04:19please look please
01:04:21come on come on
01:04:23get that
01:04:48please look please
01:04:50we have to be reasonable about this Ian
01:04:52if you explain what it is that you want
01:04:54I'm sure we can sort it
01:04:56if I'm not at the perch fest in the next couple of hours
01:04:58all my family's going to come looking for me
01:05:02why did you do it
01:05:03why did I do what
01:05:08why did you do it
01:05:09if you explain to me what it is that I did
01:05:11perhaps I can tell you why I did it
01:05:21I don't think I'm chafing from all the walking already
01:05:28oh John you wouldn't happen to have some of that oil you put on your hair to rub on my
01:05:34thighs would you
01:05:39what what is it is the flesh too bright
01:05:42no no we need to get out of here
01:05:44well there is no way I'm leaving this party early
01:05:48stop stop stop
01:05:50look I know the future and shit's about to pop off
01:05:53quick take a photo of me holding the statue's tiny penis
01:05:57okay how's that
01:06:00so I look like I'm holding it
01:06:02yeah right on it
01:06:04that's small enough
01:06:05yeah
01:06:06okay
01:06:16stop
01:06:19guys
01:06:20I just farted
01:06:23quiet
01:06:24seriously it's like a touch oven in here
01:06:26oh great
01:06:28discovered
01:06:32where is your mother and your brothers
01:06:34purge fest is about to begin
01:06:42welcome
01:06:42to purge fest
01:06:443000
01:06:48for as long as I can remember
01:06:50my kingdom has been there
01:06:52well it's been known for its sexual perversions isn't it
01:06:56and for its corruption
01:07:00violence its betrayals and its bloodshed
01:07:05we're gonna put an end to all that
01:07:09there's gonna be no more raping
01:07:11and no more killing
01:07:13around here
01:07:14we're gonna hand in our smartphones
01:07:17because I don't want no more pornography
01:07:19and we're gonna hand in all of our weapons
01:07:21and by I mean everything
01:07:23I mean no more kitchen knives
01:07:25no more forks
01:07:26nothing you can do nothing with
01:07:31didn't they read the invite
01:07:34most of the people in our kingdom
01:07:37are illiterate my lord
01:07:38they just heard there was free food
01:07:40and a party
01:07:42I have the king
01:07:43just where I want him
01:07:46now
01:07:48after just a little manipulation
01:07:49of Johnny Bang Bang
01:07:51then it's just a matter of time
01:07:53before I mount the throne
01:07:57enough
01:07:58I'm the fucking king
01:08:01and I declare
01:08:03the only one participating
01:08:05in these violent activities
01:08:08is gonna be expelled
01:08:10from the eight kingdoms
01:08:17what the storks have kidnapped my little brother
01:08:19I demand he be released immediately
01:08:21wait a minute
01:08:22I know
01:08:22I mean you told me this morning
01:08:24you wanted that little fella punished
01:08:26didn't you
01:08:27yes
01:08:28I despise him
01:08:30but he is still my little brother
01:08:31I can't allow a stork to kidnap someone
01:08:34with my own blood
01:08:36if they don't return him
01:08:38to us immediately
01:08:40you must ban them
01:08:42from the eight kingdoms
01:08:43according to the declaration
01:08:44you just made
01:08:51come on you wretched scussball
01:08:53I'm gonna get you already
01:08:55hold still
01:08:56spit troll
01:08:58meet your guards
01:08:59as an honest man
01:09:01confess
01:09:02never
01:09:04all right I confess
01:09:05I confess
01:09:06I choked him
01:09:07then slapped him all around the floor
01:09:09till he bled
01:09:10I'm an evil man
01:09:11who are you talking about
01:09:12the Lord Commander of the Southern Forces
01:09:14is here
01:09:15in my pants
01:09:17would you like to meet him
01:09:18tell me the truth
01:09:20all right
01:09:21all right I confess
01:09:21I'm the reason why all the dragons are extinct
01:09:23I screwed them all into the extinction
01:09:26I built the wall with my wank hammer
01:09:29I stabbed the crazy king
01:09:31with my flesh saber
01:09:32that's enough
01:09:33you tried to kill my son
01:09:35oh oh oh
01:09:37why would I want to kill your son
01:09:39I don't know
01:09:40you tell me
01:09:44what no more wax
01:09:55yes
01:09:55yes
01:09:56I got you
01:10:07oh shit
01:10:12what was that
01:10:14the king gives you fireworks
01:10:15what the fuck is that
01:10:22I guess we know
01:10:24what happened to the dragon fire now
01:10:29you check it out
01:10:30you check it out
01:10:30I'll take care of the troll
01:10:31yes mother
01:10:32oh oh oh oh
01:10:34you're turning me on you
01:10:38now we will have to find some other way to kill the king
01:10:41whoever did this
01:10:42must have knew our plans
01:10:44where's your mother?
01:10:45she has the troll
01:10:46she's trying to make him confess
01:10:47you must go now
01:10:49tell her to bring him to the feast immediately
01:10:50or entire families could be banned from the eighth kingdom
01:10:54yes father
01:10:54I should go now
01:10:55this was the work of a true genius
01:11:05yes
01:11:06I did it
01:11:08I caught the mold
01:11:10I am the dragon's master
01:11:21this is so much fun
01:11:23I'm not missing here
01:11:24I got this
01:11:27come to help
01:11:29John
01:11:30I thought you were at the wall
01:11:32I thought you were in trouble father
01:11:34who told you we might be in trouble?
01:11:36my friend Ham
01:11:36Ham?
01:11:39the fat guy?
01:11:45look
01:11:46look
01:11:46just one bite
01:11:47no
01:11:49no
01:11:50I mean
01:11:51come on
01:11:52get out
01:11:54where
01:11:55is
01:11:56the troll?
01:11:57I know nothing about the troll
01:11:59I swear at you it
01:12:00he's lying
01:12:01look at him
01:12:02release him at once
01:12:03or be banished
01:12:05from the kingdom
01:12:06my brother
01:12:06blow before host
01:12:08he is your grace
01:12:10this troll
01:12:12this troll
01:12:13this troll tried to murder my son
01:12:15that's not true
01:12:16I'm innocent
01:12:18that's a very low thing that you did there
01:12:21troll
01:12:22I'm gonna have to cut you down to size
01:12:24since you're in the arena
01:12:26I demand a trial by
01:12:28I demand a trial by
01:12:56twerking
01:12:56I will twerk
01:12:57to throw to
01:12:58dick
01:12:59wait a second
01:13:00you're four times the size of me
01:13:02I demand a champion
01:13:03I have the right
01:13:04well who's your champion going to be?
01:13:08I name my nephew
01:13:09Jizzy Lays my sister
01:13:11let's see him twerk
01:13:13oh I can't twerk
01:13:14I'm just
01:13:14dick
01:13:16ha
01:13:17about time you admitted it
01:13:18right
01:13:19I choose
01:13:21whore dog
01:13:24whore dog
01:13:35show him dad
01:13:38here darling
01:13:39get it baby
01:13:40I love you
01:13:41come on
01:13:52I do not wish to continue this battle
01:13:54I would spare
01:13:56hold off life
01:13:57and let the troll live
01:13:58I demand nothing
01:14:00in return
01:14:04he was my friend
01:14:06he could have been somebody
01:14:08instead of a bum
01:14:20I want you to die
01:14:30my own wife
01:14:32my own beautiful wife
01:14:37what happened to you?
01:14:41Jizzy's not your son
01:14:50you're a racist like me
01:14:54I'm king
01:14:57I'm king
01:14:58yes son of course you're king
01:15:00you're king
01:15:08I'm king
01:15:10I'm king
01:15:10and you're mine
01:15:13I'm king
01:15:14guards
01:15:14kill all the storks
01:15:16kill them all
01:15:17kill everyone
01:15:17wait
01:15:18except Lancia
01:15:19I want to give her a pearl necklace
01:15:20and a foot rub
01:15:30that's it
01:15:46that's it
01:15:51You want some, do you?
01:15:52Do you?
01:15:53Oh, no, no, no, no!
01:16:01That's it.
01:16:08I can't believe you bastard!
01:16:11Get out of here!
01:16:15You bats have a wall!
01:16:23Stop!
01:16:42Oh, no!
01:16:47Oh, no!
01:16:48Oh, no!
01:16:50Oh, no!
01:17:07Who wants to see a magic trick?
01:17:12Ah! I'm melting!
01:17:15Melting!
01:17:16Melting!
01:17:17Melting!
01:17:29This is Trumpet Arena, the greatest arena in the world. I own it.
01:17:35I strongly advise you to leave the area, sir.
01:17:37I am so sick of you, Miller. You don't know anything.
01:17:42But I just want to protect you, sir.
01:17:44We could have made American Train again!
01:17:47Idiot!
01:17:47People of Wild Western World, I've done everything for you.
01:17:54And all I ask in return is that you capture that woman and grab her by the pussy.
01:18:03Grab her by the pussy.
01:18:15Oh, man!
01:18:18Oh, man!
01:18:21Oh!
01:18:22Oh, man!
01:18:26Oh, man!
01:18:29Oh!
01:18:30Oh!
01:18:30Well, if it isn't John Doe!
01:18:33How's the life of an in-break, Prince?
01:18:35Oh, it's going great, thanks!
01:18:36How's life being a Mexican gardener?
01:18:38Let's go, Princess.
01:18:46Good night, Mexican.
01:19:12I told you I'm motherfuckers you're always going to die.
01:19:24Living! The throne is mine. The goddamn throne is mine.
01:19:46Seven kingdoms. Now all perished. Death is certain. Life is not.
01:19:59But not in this movie. You didn't think we were actually going to kill everybody, did you?
01:20:02Come on, man. This is Hollywood. We need a sequel.
01:20:25It goes lights can't reaction when I step into the limelight. Easily adapted to the high life.
01:20:31Dressed to impress like it's prom night. And when you live in top shelf, you know you've got to set
01:20:35the bar high.
01:20:36Had the same dreams since we was kids. Big dreams, big cars, and even bigger cribs.
01:20:41Never thought that it would help, it's just the way it did. Fast forward that now, it's just the way
01:20:45we live.
01:20:45Now it's good food and drinks, but what makes you think that this life's made for a king?
01:20:50The room starts to shake, so smooth if you blink. You might just miss the whole day. It's just the
01:20:56day.
01:20:56We don't want to land a high life. So many different things that don't land a high life.
01:21:06Let's get food and drinks, what makes you think that this life's made for a king?
01:21:29Good evening, Peripheral American Dragon.
01:21:31I'm here with one of the, well, the soul funder, actually, of this movie, Mr. Donald J. Trump.
01:21:39Yes, Donald J. Trump. The J's for John.
01:21:42For John?
01:21:43For John.
01:21:43I thought it would be for Jesus now.
01:21:45So you've produced Peripheral Thrones, and you're one of the characters.
01:21:48Tell us, how did you audition for the role?
01:21:51Uh, good question.
01:21:53This is a skin I shedded, like a snake, at least three weeks ago.
01:21:58We're here with two of our lovely cast members. Would you like to introduce yourselves?
01:22:02First of all, I am just lovely without this.
01:22:06What's this?
01:22:07You did it.
01:22:08Yeah, lovely. I was just like, you know, emphasizing it.
01:22:11Now, you said you had a penis voice. What's your penis voice?
01:22:13My penis voice is a little bit deep.
01:22:17How's it going, Mum?
01:22:18Living the Mother of Dragon dream.
01:22:21Why is that dream?
01:22:23Yeah, conquering the kingdoms.
01:22:25Eight kingdoms?
01:22:26Yeah, I think.
01:22:28And what are these kingdoms?
01:22:30Oh, shut up. I don't know. Does it really matter?
01:22:35Apparently not.
01:22:38Do you want some?
01:22:44So, tell us about Peripheral Thrones.
01:22:50Are you going to have the whole thing, or...?
01:22:52Yeah, I'm a growing dragon.
01:22:54Yeah.
01:22:56This is the castle they've given me to reside in for the rest of my life.
01:23:00They originally thought it was the end of the shoot, but actually they just took out their word and replace
01:23:04it with life.
01:23:05So this is now my genuine castle.
01:23:07Some of it's on flames, yeah.
01:23:09We just put some of it on fire.
01:23:11So, we've got about 20 minutes before that place burns to the ground and we lose yet another English heritage
01:23:16site.
01:23:16During the process, what moment has led you to feel most in tune with yourself on set?
01:23:22Whiskey.
01:23:23Whiskey, Greg.
01:23:24Thanks so much.
01:23:25Always got us. Great job.
01:23:26Thank you very much.
01:23:31Can I get some cake?
01:23:33Luis, what do you enjoy most about Peripheral Thrones?
01:23:36Well, obviously everyone, because everyone's been great.
01:23:39Most people just save the money.
01:23:41No, because I'm not going to get paid.
01:23:43Oh, really?
01:23:44Yeah, yeah, I'm just hanging out here.
01:23:46This is how they afford everyone else's exorbitant things.
01:23:49Exactly.
01:23:50You're not helping me with...
01:23:51How am I supposed to answer serious questions?
01:23:52You're not helping me to a man who's dressed like...
01:23:55What do you mean I'm a genuine magic dragon?
01:23:56He's just not going to work.
01:23:57I'm directing this, I wrote this, and I'm funding this.
01:24:00This is going to be the biggest film in the history of films since, what?
01:24:05The Titanic, which is huge.
01:24:06But this is going to sweep the Academy Awards next year.
01:24:09Just sweep it.
01:24:10We're going to make purging great again.
01:24:13No one purges like me.
01:24:14You know what?
01:24:15Make purging great again?
01:24:16Yes.
01:24:16That's what we're going for.
01:24:17That's what we're going for.
01:24:18No one purges like me.
01:24:19I don't think they've paid enough gold for this, guys.
01:24:21All of this is lies.
01:24:23It's a bunch of crap.
01:24:24It's crap.
01:24:25These guys are losers.
01:24:27They're lightweights.
01:24:28They're nobodies.
01:24:29They don't know me.
01:24:30They don't know how great I am.
01:24:32All they do is spread dis-information about me.
01:24:36I am so sick of watching this crap every single night.
01:24:40They don't know me.
01:24:41They don't know how tremendous I am.
01:24:43They don't know how fantastic I am.
01:24:45What a great guy I am.
01:24:46What a great businessman I am.
01:24:47This is all just fake news.
01:24:50Every single night, it's just fake news about me.
01:24:52And I'm a really, really nice guy.
01:24:55And I shouldn't be picked on like this.
01:24:58FANS!
01:24:58FANS!
01:24:59FANS!
01:25:05FANS!
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