- 7 hours ago
The Vampire Lestat Season 1 Episode 1
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Watch The Vampire Lestat After Dark on AMC Plus or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:11Previously on the show formally titled Interview with the Vampire.
00:15So, Mr. Dulac, how long have you been dead?
00:18The year was 1910.
00:20Louis, let me introduce you to Mr. Lestat de Leoncore.
00:23What exactly is the nature of your relationship with my brother, Monsieur Leoncore?
00:27I can swap this life of shame.
00:28Swap it out for a dark gift.
00:31Be my companion for all eternity.
00:34He had a way about him.
00:35Preternaturally charming, occasionally thoughtful.
00:37He was my murderer, my mentor, my lover and my maker.
00:40All of those things at once.
00:42Claudia was everything.
00:44The life of a vampire has its challenges.
00:50Can an immortal meet mortality?
00:53Theoretically, it can be done.
00:55But could it be done by us to him?
00:58Paris was an awakening for Louis.
01:00Paris was many things in those days.
01:04Bonjour, mon amour.
01:06Are you schizophrenic, Louis?
01:08I could feel the movement of air with his movements.
01:11His breath on the back of my neck.
01:13We were on trial for murder.
01:15Love has always been difficult for me.
01:17My first paramour, Nicolas Delafonte, a violinist.
01:20You were all in the back of my memory.
01:23Ricky!
01:24I am Armand.
01:26I am the head of Tom Clon.
01:28He l'a saigné?
01:29You led him there so he could destroy it.
01:31Yes.
01:31You saved Louis.
01:33That shit.
01:34But not her.
01:37Who made you?
01:38His name was Magnus.
01:40He took me from my room in Paris as I kicked and screamed.
01:44The light's going out of your blue eye.
01:47I've come to kill you.
01:48I have the blood of Akasha in me.
01:51He didn't save you.
01:53Lestat did.
01:55I'm guessing you haven't heard from my maker.
01:57I shouldn't have left you alone with him.
01:58Make it up to me.
01:59We'll do a follow-up book.
02:00I'm companion enough for myself now.
02:02I'm sorry I don't have much time.
02:04I'm in the middle of rehearsing.
02:05I'm going on tour.
02:06I just need about 50 more years of practice.
02:23I'm a little killer.
02:25I'm a lonely one.
02:27I'm a sugar to upper spine.
02:29Telling you to run.
02:31I'm a little shadow.
02:33I'm a last line.
02:35I'm a past and the future.
02:37The last of the sutures.
02:38The crew and death.
02:39Where the rock and roll is.
02:41Where the good's head.
02:43Where the heart of it, love it.
02:45The face of the mud.
02:46Where the stupid rain.
02:47Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
03:17C'est cool.
03:51The House wishes to extend its gratitude to the gathering for your compliance with the unorthodox prerequisites of tonight's event.
04:00Furthermore, we wish to reiterate that the anonymity that you have granted us will be given to you individually as
04:07well as to any institutions that you are representing.
04:11Stating the obvious, we are not here and neither are you.
04:18Lot one of two, the master recordings of the complete works of the Vampire Lestat de Leoncore, which includes his
04:262025 self-titled album, The Vampire Lestat, additional session tracks that were discarded in the final assemblage of the album,
04:34original handwritten scores and private recordings by the Vampire Lestat himself, which include a song cycle in the classical vein
04:42set to the poetry of Baudelaire.
04:47Before we begin the bidding, I perform the following action.
05:03We will begin the bidding at one yuan. Do I hear one yuan?
05:10E-U-N.
05:13Sold.
05:14To the gentlewoman, third row of good spirit.
05:19Lot number two.
05:20Two.
05:21A music box, curated by the Vampire Lestat himself, a 1978 Fernando Marciani Corinto sideboard, inside a Rosner & Zonn
05:33Mott turntable, with Bialab 90 speakers.
05:38Two.
05:39Two.
05:39Temperature controlled wine cabinets.
05:41One, holding a bottle of Kneeport 1863 port wine.
05:46The other, with a magnum of blood from the curator himself.
05:50The upper level.
05:51A singular vinyl pressing of the complete works of the Vampire Lestat de Leoncore, previously delineated, along with 111 albums
06:01of audio best described as an omniscient history of the events of the 2025 album in supporting tour and the
06:10consequential global catastrophes that sprung from said album and tour as narrated by the Vampire Lestat himself.
06:18The collection has been named The Failures.
06:23We will begin the bidding at 50 million yuan.
06:29If you are hearing this now, you must be a very privileged individual.
06:35You could have fed a small nation for years while they paved over the rubble.
06:39You bought my box instead.
06:41I like you already.
06:44So let's begin in the middle.
06:46For I could and should have ended it there.
06:49My tour.
06:50My hedonistic pursuit of extremity.
06:53All of it.
06:54And had I done so, the regretful dead and the traumatized still alive would be somewhere other than they are
07:01today.
07:02And I am not saying that the attempted extinction of the Y chromosome across the continents was all my fault.
07:08Now that would suggest a level of self-importance even I'm not comfortable with.
07:12But upon reflection, made a contribution.
07:17It was the spring of 2025.
07:20A good nation was making itself great again.
07:24Again.
07:27And every vampire, those converting and those enduring.
07:32Well, they were doing exactly as they pleased.
07:42The End
08:29we'll be right back.
08:45What does it matter who I take?
08:49Naturally, I named the band after myself.
08:52And the four that backed me played their parts as instructed.
08:56There was Larry, the front man made sideman, choking his guitar neck nightly, wishing it was mine.
09:03Brother Alex, the more talented seedling, straight-edged in half the fun.
09:09Salamander, bassist, dumb, shockingly dumb.
09:13And TC, the abandoned bride of a dozen should have died in art school bands, keeping us all in the
09:20dirty pocket.
09:21We dropped songs on the streams and booked intimate venues to induce what Jen's snooze called FOMO.
09:28They came for cosplay, left converted, and I baptized them, the beautiful unwell.
09:33And yet, here we were, in the inn of the stooges and the stripes, 30 performances notched and already resting
09:41on the alps of adequacy.
09:43Unacceptable.
09:45Un piano.
09:47Un piano.
09:48Un piano forte.
09:49Un alegro.
09:51Un mandante.
09:53Un balero.
09:55Un prostitué.
09:59Un piano forte.
10:01Un piano forte.
10:02Un alegro.
10:03Un alegro.
10:07Un mandante.
10:08Un证捺.
10:10Welcome to Detroit.
10:12Lovely city.
10:13Emoning Your song sucks.
10:14They give me the feedback.
11:13Oh!
11:14Well, that was boring.
11:15Do you seem to like it?
11:16Harmony's on Plastic Fiends were trash.
11:18He's right.
11:19And the front head on your kick is shimmering.
11:21Turn it up a step.
11:22Singer's right.
11:23You left your tambourine in his stand, Larry.
11:25Yeah, well, I was feeling the guitar.
11:26No one is coming to hear your guitar, Larry.
11:29No, they come for the Aussie shit.
11:30Dude, rage, call the Harmony Room.
11:32Larry Slater shredding it tonight and no one ever.
11:35You've signed the checks, dude.
11:36I do, I do sign the checks.
11:38Sign this.
11:38The tambourine tomorrow is rehearsed and perfected.
11:41Suck it, sir.
11:42What am I saying?
11:42Your night in Corvallis.
11:44Brian, the wife, early retirement, and the lawyer, Lake Boat.
11:47Who's the band?
11:48But it's funny because it's blood and I'm a vampire.
11:51Notaries in Oregon don't notarize in red ink.
11:54There's the band, and there's the shell that protects the band from the world's envy.
11:59Our band shell was Christine Clare.
12:02She hired, fired, dictated, and castrated with extreme prejudice.
12:08Try your best not to be you tonight.
12:09We want the car.
12:11No.
12:11We'll be good.
12:12Corvallis.
12:14What do you think?
12:15I'm not all.
12:17Yeah.
12:18Yeah.
12:19All right, Slat.
12:20Time to go.
12:21I'm going into my vampire dressing room now.
12:24A little draining both ways.
12:27You'll have to guess who gets the fangs and who gets the vodka bottle.
12:30And yes, it's a vodka bottle.
12:34You did it again.
12:36Fucking asshole.
12:37Did I mention that I was filming a documentary at the time?
12:40A bootless errand helmed by a first-time director.
12:43I've seen a rough cut.
12:45Truthful and daring, with less war and pity.
12:47Anyone see Yorta?
12:49I'm sorry.
12:49I'm sorry.
12:50I'm sorry.
12:50I didn't know what else.
12:53I just don't know.
12:54Missing a contact again.
12:56Oh.
12:57Okay.
12:58How many drinks have you had?
13:00One and a half.
13:01Dry to the burps, sit by yourself in a booth at Applebee's, order the usual.
13:04Big tip, meet us back in the city.
13:07Now, you'd think a 54-city rock tour would be a wonderful cover for a blood drinker.
13:11Hide your keel up on the bus, wave to the morgue ports in the rearview mirror, that kind of thing.
13:16But niche celebrity as a hunter's handicap and a sloppy night in Corvallis made urgent the need for a body
13:22doppel.
13:24His name was Yarda Klapik, and the Albanian gangsters Christine hired to find my doppelganger
13:29found him working construction in the Czech Republic.
13:32Three inches shorter than your velvet mouth narrator,
13:35we fit him for lifts, blue eye contacts, and a wig.
13:39And otherwise, let him be Neanderthal me.
13:42I hunted this way and we sent him that way.
13:44And every sad photograph uploaded to reddit or discord of Yarda eating up tuna melt by himself
13:50only confirmed for most what they already believed.
13:55That I, the Vampire Lestat, was Daniel Malloy's fictitious creation.
14:00And the Vampire Lestat, the band, was fronted by a brick-laying karaoke fanatic from Ostrova.
14:06Nothing but a desperate cash grab at the end of a chuggy vampire fad.
14:10And I've only myself to blame for the timing, having locked us in an attic for a year plus,
14:14perfecting our sound.
14:16The sound I hope would counter Mr. Dulac's portrayal of me as a mayonnaise villain with sociopathic tendencies.
14:24I'll be beside the point, because the point was, the point forever is...
14:28I know you're real!
14:29Most of humanity moved on from vampires, and rather quickly.
14:34Congratulations.
14:35Now go make friends.
14:38They lifted their heads from their algorithmic handmasters, uttered a collective...
14:43Swipe left.
14:45I am the Vampire Lestat.
14:48I am a god.
14:51Gods are not swiped.
14:54The Contessa!
14:56The useful idiot!
14:58Great show!
15:00You left before we started.
15:02Yeah, I figured. Spotify some T-Rex and drag a little oneg from Dr. Fareedgood here.
15:06Same, Tiff.
15:07I am not here.
15:09Can we mic you?
15:10TC punched the boom again.
15:12Yeah, okay.
15:19So, uh, you and Louie talking again?
15:23He doesn't return my texts.
15:25Or my telepathy.
15:28I hear he's back in the States.
15:32We good?
15:33We're good.
15:34It's late.
15:36Okay.
15:40You've been alive and undead for 265 years.
15:43You witnessed the French Revolution first hand, the electric light, penicillin, two world wars, the atomic bomb, the moon landing,
15:52the Berlin Wall...
15:53Chestnut.
15:54What?
15:55He eats hot dogs for a living. He's extraordinary. I hope to meet him one day. Was there a question?
15:59Having accumulated profound wisdom and experience through the dark gift of immortality, why have you chosen to waste at singing
16:07music no one wants to hear in pants no one should ever squeeze into?
16:11You ask this question every night.
16:13You ask this question every night.
16:13And I get a different answer every night.
16:14You get me to repeat myself soon enough. I am sure once you confront your transformational trauma.
16:19I don't have transformational trauma.
16:21Mmm, that's why these movie producers hired you, Danny Malloy, vampire slayer.
16:26They said you requested me.
16:28Absurd.
16:29Oh, as absurd as a documentary about a rock band posing as vampires, fronted by an actual vampire.
16:36Directed by a vampire passing as a human.
16:38You tell him for me.
16:41Is it true you were a stutterer as a child?
16:44Louis said you were.
16:51Was he there in 18th century Auvers?
16:53He said you told him that.
16:54Did I threaten Claudia with rape on a train?
16:56Was I in the room when Donizetti wrote Don Pasquale?
17:01No, no, and impossible because I had buried myself underground for the vast majority of the 1800s.
17:08I wrote what he told me.
17:10I don't have trauma.
17:11I love being a vampire.
17:13And can you drop the fledgling speak and spell?
17:22The dark, dreary industrial world has finally submitted to automation.
17:30Laborers stand in their doorways hitting their pipes as their children half pipe in their drained empty swimming pools.
17:39Drugstores locked up baby formula and shaving cream while Saks ate Barneys and someone told everyone that Lululemon was sexy.
17:50Facts are irrelevant.
17:55Facts are irrelevant.
17:56Fields are everything.
17:58And the value of human life, it has never been more arbitrary.
18:04David, Freddy, Prince Rogers.
18:08They're all gone.
18:10And the lights on Tay-Tay's ears have dimmed.
18:13Fire coming down the hill.
18:16Water moving in on Nantucket.
18:20No more safe spaces.
18:24It's my era.
18:26Now.
18:30Post Malone and Jelly Roll playing there tonight.
18:33Sixty thousand for a face tattooed Palooza.
18:36You played an 800 seat venue.
18:38How is it your era?
18:43I'm vain and shallow and pure an empty seat.
18:45Ask me an easy one.
18:48Is it true your band was formed on Halloween?
18:57You were listening to The Failures.
19:01Album 2, side B.
19:26What do you think?
19:28It's nice.
19:30Nice?
19:30Yeah.
19:31It's nice.
19:32I don't see Beyonce covering it.
19:34But it's nice.
19:37Now she's nothing.
19:38It's nice.
19:40Now she's a balloon.
19:41Now she's a balloon.
19:41A flower box is nice.
19:43She got yourself a nice place.
19:45It's a nice word.
19:47And it says everything I wanted to express.
19:49Don't be a bitch about it.
19:52You should come visit.
19:54I have a space above the bed in one of the guest rooms.
19:57I can't find a painting for her.
19:59Oh, a guest room.
20:01You want me to come and see your guest room?
20:03It's an affluent neighborhood.
20:05Old money.
20:06Young professionals.
20:08A smattering of crisse de trance from bébé.
20:10Good eating.
20:14Same potholes.
20:15But no hurricanes.
20:18No witches.
20:20And everyone mangles French just like you do.
20:23Come to me.
20:24Montreal.
20:26I am he.
20:27And he is me.
20:30That's baggage here.
20:31I get it.
20:32I get it.
20:34Besides, there's an Olmstead Park nearby if I get homesick.
20:38And there's a...
20:40Garage band rehearsing across the street who call themselves, of all things...
20:45Satan.
20:47They call themselves, of all things, Satan?
20:50Satan's night out.
20:52Satan's night out?
20:53Out.
20:54Satan's night out.
20:55Okay.
20:56Amazing.
20:57Louie, do you know someone called Daniel Malloy?
21:02I burned his laptop!
21:04I didn't know he had it saved in the cloud.
21:06I only found out it was coming out a month ago.
21:08You've known for a month?
21:09And you talk about me and it to a mortal?
21:11Well, yeah.
21:12Uh, yeah.
21:13Gonna...
21:13You know?
21:14No, I don't know, Louie.
21:17Please, explain yourself.
21:18It's gonna be here and gone in a minute.
21:20No worries anymore.
21:21No, no worries.
21:22The stade is, like, whatever.
21:24100%.
21:25But Harman...
21:26It's kind of mysterious.
21:28Yeah, there's some layers.
21:29You got a suit at the Louvre.
21:31And all the boomers were making the film to go see the other farm with her resting batrice.
21:37I skipped that and I would help you to see my beta boy in the corner of the room.
21:42I would do it.
21:44You have to do it.
21:46I would kill it.
21:48I would kill it.
21:50And I would lose it.
21:55The Statman.
21:56You have to burn the poor French on the street.
21:59100%?
22:01That's so wild.
22:02Do you want to become a member?
22:05There's 10% of them.
22:05No thank you!
22:15I know what infinitesimal means.
22:19It was raining.
22:20No!
22:21No!
22:23Never...
22:27Not a Harlequin.
22:30Your sources are your sherpas.
22:33Your editor is your priest.
22:36Go to the em!
22:38Jesus out!
22:40Why must you complicate it?
22:47Oh
22:59Your camera is not period correct
23:03Have a peanut allergy well allergies are delusional
23:07Take the mounts you take whatever I give you
23:36Oh
23:36Oh
23:37Oh
23:41Oh
23:42Oh
23:52Oh
23:53Oh
23:55Oh
23:55Oh
23:55Oh
23:55Oh
23:55Oh
23:55Oh
24:07Oh
24:08Oh
24:13Oh
24:20Oh
24:21Oh
24:23Oh
24:23Oh
24:23Oh
24:26Oh
24:30Oh
24:35Oh
24:41Oh
24:43Oh
24:45Oh
24:47what are we doing here we're doing a rewrite so this whole tour is just some
24:57ironic reaction to my book who better to refute the book than the man who wrote
25:03the book the songs of my story your documentary the liner notes liner notes
25:09I want to Pulitzer's I'm taking this thing to can okay I'm gonna be slapping
25:15Chris Rock and stroking my Oscar the Brat sings the Brat dies the great laws are
25:22clear on this more exposure for us more risk for us
25:30he sings for himself
25:35make more the great laws are clear on that first the book now the singer this is
25:43chaos it does a bit of share with her
25:46if he comes to your people, kill him
25:50My little hearts will flow soon
25:55You won't come and confess you
25:58You used to find
26:27Your face will help you
26:28Your feet will find
26:30Your feet will be in touch
26:31Your feet will be inside
26:32Your feet will be inside
26:47You will see the feet will fall
26:48Mm-hmm.
27:33I got a real life, whoa, dead broke, didn't try to run, I got a real life, whoa, stuck in
27:45on the sun, no time for growing up,
27:47no time for throwing up, no time we're Peru, baby, our party's blowing up, I got a real life, whoa,
27:55no time for having my stepbrother until we come, do, do, do, do, da, da,
28:00no one is conscious, nothing to be your morning star, no one alone not a TikTok dance, want to stand
28:07yo Zoe black like a ritual,
28:19The beef house and the twin old small
28:21Order at the bar this time, take some photos with the fans
28:24Keep it scrolling, I don't know if I don't know what you call machine
28:33Hi, papi
28:34I've been a bad boy, deep down in my heart
28:37I've kept a million dark secrets from the very star
28:40Give me a million more screens
28:43It means exactly what you think it means
28:46Do, do, do, da, da, da, da
28:49Don't wanna smash yourself, you're being a bloody star
28:52Don't wanna learn a fucking TikTok dance
28:55What a snake it means, eating blind and go rash
29:06Pick up the fucking jammery
29:08From the alps of adequacy to the canyon of coup d'etat
29:12Two nights in a row, my violin competing with his guitar for the solo break
29:18Two centuries waiting to share my music
29:21Two years as Mr. Dulac's B-Movie Brute
29:26But just as I was about to bridge the bridge with murder and mayhem
29:31Something quite surprising happened
29:35My music wrapped itself around me like a jungle snake constricting its prey
29:41And a lifetime of blood-bartering overwhelmed the temporal lobe
29:47Muses appeared in my mind and in the now around me
29:53Memories taking their turn
29:58Blood in
30:01Blood out
30:05Hammering away at the performative vampire persona I had welded into armor
30:13The armor cracked
30:18The bridge buckled
30:20And the bona fide vampire emerged
30:23Center stage
30:25It was I who had been adequate
30:30It was I who had been holding us back
30:34And now, exposed in the roar
30:37Under the white hot lights
30:40My bandmates began to feed
30:45And that sound I had been grinding them for was finally unleashed
30:51A euphoric grattiness spilling into the crowd
30:55Into their bodies
30:57Enveloping the venue
30:58I want to stay back
31:03In my big range
31:05I want to stay back
31:09In my big range
31:11I want to stay back
31:15In my big range
31:25I want to stay back
31:27In my name
31:37I want to stay back
31:39Enough
31:39For this
31:42I want to stay back
31:45strate races
31:46I like to stay back
31:47Get her on the ground.
31:50Her blood.
31:53Ecstasy.
31:55LSD.
32:03I should have quit right there and then.
32:06Would have been a lovely footnote to my life, the band.
32:10But the muses were just beginning.
32:14You done this to me?
32:19I lost myself on stage for a moment.
32:22Seems you still lost.
32:26This song's gonna kill you, you know that, don't you?
32:29I can't die.
32:30Everything dies.
32:32You die, I die.
32:34She dies.
32:36She dies.
32:38Though he dies bad.
32:42I'm immortal.
32:43Yeah, you kill some wolves and fall in love.
32:46Get the gift.
32:47Fall in love.
32:48Go to ground.
32:49Get dug up and fall in love.
32:51You like some wet clothes and a coin-op dryer.
32:54Just 265 years round and round.
32:58Why are you so sad?
33:00Thousands of fans loving you.
33:03I want millions.
33:04And that'll top off that heart of yours.
33:09Billions.
33:11Then why you always gotta make it so hard for someone to give it to you?
33:15Huh?
33:17Who told you that?
33:18Don't worry.
33:20They coming.
33:22Who's coming?
33:23They gonna tell you themselves.
33:27Who's coming?
33:29Great show, didn't it?
33:29Who?
33:34You are listening to The Failures.
33:37Album 5, Side B.
33:39If you take nothing else away from your exorbitant purchase, heed this advice.
33:45Never play two nights in Detroit.
33:48You'll wind up in Windsor with a broken orbital bone listening to transactional sex through the adjoining walls.
33:55How I came to this squalid real estate is the premise of Side B, Album 5, so...
34:04Come.
34:06Now the boutique hotel we were staying at was having a grandish opening that night,
34:10and the band was asked to lend its celebrity status to the event.
34:13Don't tell me to pose.
34:15Fuck you!
34:16There was a red carpet, a pap line, and a vampire DJ of some renown,
34:21seducing corporate employees, provincial influencers, and party crashing beautifully.
34:27I was having sex in an elevator with Dee and the girl I had just overindulged myself with early in
34:33the night.
34:34Actually, that happens later.
34:38A lot of things happened that night.
34:40Come on!
34:44The band is inside with Dan in the VIP purge.
34:49I'm giving the paps my pussycat with no idea that I would be in a fang fight less than an
34:54hour later.
34:56No, no, no, no.
34:57I'm getting ahead of myself again.
34:59I arrived fashionably late, of course.
35:02State your name for the camera.
35:04Baby Jake.
35:05Okay, baby.
35:06Tell me, why do you like the vampire Lestat?
35:09Like I'm gonna be in the movie?
35:11Oh, you're in it now.
35:12I am feeling good.
35:14Oh, I know.
35:16Surfing the sublime candy-flipped wave of the girl's blood.
35:19Hear him.
35:20Hear that voice.
35:22The girl is feeling good.
35:23Wow.
35:24Riding the wonders of Dr. Fareed's blood transfusion quick pick-me-up cocktail.
35:29Who's this guy?
35:30Cause like, rock and roll, it's dying.
35:32I sat there, soaking up her praise, along with the band, still somehow blind to the vampiric mysteries of their
35:39frontman.
35:40So what if the dead and buried past was now a fresh and eager groupie?
35:45It's rock and roll, you know?
35:47Have a nervous breakdown on stage, chat it up with the floating girl on the ceiling you almost killed.
35:51Have sex with their in the elevator.
35:53Ah, I'm still not there yet.
35:56MDMA and LST.
35:58The Torval and Dean of hallucinogenics.
36:01And so then everybody's like, is rock and roll actually dying?
36:04Were you a stutterer as a child?
36:06They walk into the ER, they are like, the doctor.
36:10Unless that's the scalpel.
36:12I'm the scalpel printed t-shirts.
36:14And so he, the scalpel, cuts into rock and roll's heart.
36:20Like he cut into mine tonight.
36:23And he has the heart in his mouth.
36:25He's like, do you wanna fuck?
36:29And rock and roll is like, yes bitch!
36:32I excuse myself to the men's room.
36:35Didn't read about vampire physiology in Mr. Dulac's memoir, did you?
36:39No mention of the scars on my chest either.
36:42Hair stopping way above my shoulders.
36:45And just for the record, no ticket pocket of mine ever had his initials inscribed onto them.
36:49I mean, these are the editorial wags of an insane person.
36:55Note to self-edit that out in the final version.
36:58Starting again.
36:59Vampyrs pee.
37:01We don't do it as often as you do, assuming you're not one of us.
37:04And we generally avoid eco-friendly urinals.
37:17Detroit.
37:23Oh.
37:38There, Ross.
37:54Ross here has a hot mouth and a strong pelvic floor.
38:00I admire your aim.
38:03Long face sucks.
38:05Ross wanted to apologize.
38:08What? Black licorice?
38:11Why do I have to feel?
38:15I like those ones.
38:17Frankly, Mr. Shankly almost ruined the queen's death. I apologize. Accept it.
38:23We have a coven out here in Detroit.
38:26Do you?
38:27The Fang Gang.
38:29You want to see a real vampire bar? Come with us.
38:31We have a huge house out past Bragmore.
38:34Our own farm under the floorboards.
38:37Hmm, sure. What about tomorrow night?
38:40You're on the road tomorrow night.
38:43Yes, it was me being polite.
38:46No, that was you lying.
38:49Eco-friendly urinals.
38:51Good for the planet, so we're told.
38:53Good for vampires.
38:55Hmm.
38:56We Chardonnay them.
39:02And then there's regional vampires.
39:06Always trying to make a name for themselves.
39:09I Chardonnay them too.
39:11Obligations, I'm afraid.
39:13But please do send my most sincere bonjour to your bright nourish color.
39:22Lilac.
39:37I have a blind spot when it comes to blood poisoning.
39:40I don't think a vampire of my stature would know better, but then there's that old saying.
39:45You fool me once, shame on me.
39:47Fool me twice.
39:47MDMA and LSD are excellent drugs.
39:51Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce.
39:54Twirl.
39:54Twirl.
39:56Overshare.
39:57I saw your soul.
39:59I saw yours too.
40:04Still feeling good.
40:06I went looking for my band, looking for sex, looking for anything that radiated the fun that I sang about
40:13in my song, Long Face.
40:16And then...
40:18Regionals.
40:20Wait, did you say that Long Face sucked?
40:22Long Face sucks.
40:24Does it suck?
40:25I wondered.
40:27Did you have a point?
40:28And then I thought, ooh, they want a little scrap with a scalpel.
40:34No worries, I thought I have the Queen's blood in me.
40:36I could take 20 regionals at once with the Queen's blood.
40:41Where's the band then?
40:44They called corporate bullshit.
40:48Went to party upstairs.
40:51So I'm scoring dick pills in Mogadishu for a UN peacekeeper, when in walks Stuart Copeland wearing a kufi and
40:59a mouthful of ammo.
41:01So I thought about having sex with Christine.
41:03And then I thought, it's all the way upstairs.
41:06And then I thought, I'm the scalpel.
41:09What does the scalpel do between here and upstairs?
41:15Mr. Deluxe Memoir tiptoed around vampire sex, didn't it?
41:19He and Dan made it out to be this tortured act or obligational foreplay before blood drinking.
41:26That is not the case at all.
41:28It's not the capstone of vampiric desires.
41:30That would be the taking of life.
41:32And next would be a good draining, leaving your victim near death and paralyzed for an unhurried escape.
41:38And after that, there's the petticoot, the little drink, the sip.
41:42And after those three, it's sex.
41:45So now you know, the fourth best thing a vampire can do to avoid thinking about the past is to
41:51have sex.
41:52Sex.
41:54And I have had a lot of sex over the years.
41:56It's not all pain and toxicity.
41:58I have an immortal life and I carry with it an immortal erection and I am not ashamed of it.
42:04Sex is fun.
42:05Like the fun I sing about in Longface, which, looking back on it now, does suck.
42:11I still have residuals coming in, actually.
42:15Carnal pleasure is essential to our vampire survival.
42:19If only to keep time's baggage from burying you.
42:24Sex with the bellman and Dee and honey trapping baby Jenks.
42:28Sex.
42:29Probably should have gotten off the seventh floor when I had gotten off.
42:35But I didn't.
42:39I'm getting married in a week.
42:42I'll never forget you.
42:44I'm getting married.
42:51I am.
42:51Law 4.
42:52No vampire shall ever reveal his or her true nature to a mortal.
42:57And let the mortal live.
42:58You do know it's 2025.
43:03Trace the wall, my dear.
43:05You're not going to see this.
43:09The Tooth Team
43:11The Fang Gang
43:16I carried a pack of wolves when I was immortal
43:19I'll most likely tell you about that later as I let it define me for a time
43:23A normally confining architecture and a thrift store coven
43:27Galvanized by medieval dogma wouldn't faze me in the least
43:30I'm building a career that supports my lobby
43:33But the drug blood in my sex legs and the distracting past my music had unleashed on me
43:39Put me at a momentary disadvantage
43:42I'm in charge of my work-life balance
43:45Law 4, as if the Dulac Malloy memoir hadn't outed us all two years ago
43:49As if my entire stage show wasn't a bawdy burlesque of is he or isn't he
43:55As if half the vampire population outside the ruined porn of Detroit
43:59Wasn't waving the dark gift like red cups in a piss bar
44:03Collecting fledglings like they were the booboo dogs
44:06I mean I haven't even told my band I was an actual vampire
44:09I was just singing my songs and fucking my food and defending myself from the vibrant life choices I had
44:15made
44:15On my way from the Auvergne countryside to the 8th floor of this why bother hotel
44:20And this is how it was all going to end for me
44:22We are the fangang
44:25We are the children of the darkness reborn
44:29Take this fucking girl
44:33Our man told the truth if you met him
44:36What the fuck does that even mean?
44:39I think there was an after party on the asshole floor
44:42I like to think I was owed the reinforcements
44:45Dan and the oddly familiar DJ
44:48But that's me looking back on it now
44:51Anything I had done to deserve their timely rescue hadn't happened yet
44:55I'd be dead I think without Dan
44:58But then maybe more of the world would still be alive
45:01Had Dan not rallied his army downstairs
45:05Consider this sliding door of Dan
45:08As you decant my blood and devour my words
45:24It's hard hiding you're a god
45:27You're for real?
45:28CCTV, eco-flush toilets
45:31IMF freezing your accounts because you have the blood of a patricidal queen inside you
45:35Hello again
45:38We are to live off here
45:40Tell the massacre jack me into that
45:41And once you reveal yourself you have to be on all the time
45:46And remember every face you've ever met
45:48And everywhere you go everyone remembers the thing they said to you in the room that you shared
45:55Were you a stutterer as a child?
45:59This is why gods prefer hiding in the clouds
46:03There's nothing there
46:06But water waiting to fall
46:15So many opportunities to call it a night that night
46:19After the song unleashed the muses
46:23After I saw my first soul
46:26After I was nearly decapitated in a boutique hotel hallway
46:32After my vampire nature was revealed to the band
46:35And my vampire gift winged me away north of the rivers off of the country
46:43But I was saved from such rational thought
46:47Love will do that to you
47:09That's my father
47:12Yes it's my friend
47:13That's my friend
47:13Oh my friend
47:13He's been so upset
47:19I don't know
47:20My grandfather
47:20and it's something I can't get out of.
47:25Music's opened up the batch of it,
47:27and I'm not sure if I can close it again.
47:35I'm not really at my best, but...
47:42It's very nice to see you again.
47:49I like what you've done with your hair, Mike.
47:53Mike.
48:01Mike.
48:07It's not much of a reveal, I guess.
48:10I know it's common gossip now.
48:12The first thing one thinks about when my name comes up.
48:16I assume a privileged individual such as yourself
48:20enjoys a little dirt in their sandwich.
48:24So I serve it to you now.
48:27How it felt, Ben.
48:31Fledgling.
48:34Lover.
48:37Mother.
48:42From the Vampire List ad, wherever you stream music.
48:46If you're still listening after the last hour,
48:49welcome back.
48:50So bring on the music.
48:52Give me a million more screams.
48:55Do you kill people?
48:57Give me a million more screams.
49:01Let's talk about your mother.
49:04I've been a bad boy.
49:05I've been a bad boy.
49:06My maker called for his mama, and I can't do it.
49:10Give me a million more screams.
49:15You are courting great danger with this doctor.
49:18You stole my personal position.
49:21You hired my biographer.
49:22Eat him by the unicorn.
49:23The songs are not about you.
49:27I want to stay a man.
49:28Eat him by the unicorn.
49:30Shall we do it?
49:31Shall we scorch the mortal world?
49:33I want to stay a man.
49:35Eat him by the unicorn.
49:37What do you think about the great conversion?
49:40Fucking stupid.
49:41I want to stay a man.
49:43Eat him by the unicorn.
49:47You are listening to The Failures.
49:50Album 8, Side A.
49:57At the top of our first episode, we show a scene that is probably happening in real time after a
50:06bunch of catastrophic events have happened.
50:24What makes this season special is that it's still the same characters that you love and know from the previous
50:29seasons.
50:30We're just putting them in an entirely new world, and as they do in the books and as we do
50:34in this show, like, the world continues to crack open larger and larger.
50:39Ooh, ooh, ooh.
50:42Just like the plot changes, the whole attitude of the show changes, and we move into this completely crazy rock
50:50and roll world.
50:54He did it again.
50:55A lot of the beauty and elegance that you would usually see him surrounded by is gone.
51:01It feels really grungy and really rough and really raw, and so it was a very fun environment to be
51:07putting him in.
51:13Come to me.
51:14Montreal.
51:15I am he, and he is me.
51:18Louis, and let's start a FaceTiming, and you're probably going to get the sense that Louis is going to come
51:21over pretty soon.
51:22They'll probably get back together or, like, work it out.
51:25Nice.
51:25Yeah, it's nice.
51:27One of the first conversations I had with Roland and Hannah and the writers was that I think Louis has
51:33watched just a ton of YouTube in his time off, you know?
51:39Like, cat videos.
51:41Probably Hungryly.
51:45Louis, do you know someone called Daniel Malloy?
51:47Well, the stuff finds out about the book, and then that completely throws all those plans out of the window.
51:52One of my favorite things about this second season of Interview with the Vampire is that I burned his laptop.
51:58I didn't know he had it saved in the cloud.
52:00Louis sets fire to a laptop to try and erase the book, but, like, no one told him about the
52:07cloud.
52:08I only found out it was coming out a month ago.
52:10You've known for a month, and you talk about me and it to a mortal?
52:13Well, yeah, uh, yeah, gonna, but, you know?
52:16No, I don't know, Louis.
52:18Please explain yourself.
52:20Both Louis and Lestat are not necessarily happy with the way that either of them were portrayed in the book.
52:25It's like a mix of guilt and probably a sense of vengeance about it.
52:30Lestat sees that book come out, sees what he perceives are lies and distortions, mistruths, and he's like, you know
52:39what?
52:39I'm gonna set the record straight.
52:41Was he there in 18th century Auvers?
52:43He said you told him that.
52:44Did I threaten Claudia with rape on a train?
52:46No, and impossible.
52:49Daniel Malloy is an investigative journalist of the absolute top shelf.
52:53Who better to refute the book than the man who wrote the book?
52:57He has a incorrigible need to find out what the truth is.
53:02Why do you like the vampire Lestat?
53:04Si el llega a tu pueblo, matale.
53:07I thought there was an after party on the asshole floor.
53:10This isn't just sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
53:13It's sex, drugs, rock and roll, and sucking blood out of people's necks.
53:19You're for real?
53:20I mean, Black Lives Matter is just a great song.
53:39It's about the first kill that Lestat made after he reconciled with Louis in New Orleans.
53:45Didn't blink, didn't try to run, I got a real life one.
53:52Particularly in episode one, you do see that he's pushing and pushing to get this sort of moment of grace,
53:58to be completely engulfed in the music.
54:02But just as I was about to bridge the bridge with murder and mayhem,
54:07something quite surprising happened.
54:10And that's what he gets from Black Licorice.
54:12He does have his first breakdown.
54:15Of many.
54:16Muses appeared in my mind and in the now around me.
54:20He realizes that he was the one that was holding them back.
54:24So then all of a sudden it cracks open and the real thing starts to appear.
54:28And that sound I had been grinding them for was finally unleashed.
54:33He started it to be, I'm going to go and tell my story, I'm going to do a rewrite, this
54:39is my version of events.
54:40And it's evolved into something different, he's tapped into his past.
54:55Which one of you is OD'd before?
54:57Laura.
54:57Oh, my God.
55:04Wow.
55:07Wow.
55:11Wow.
55:14Wow.
55:16Wow.
55:18Wow.
55:21Yeah.
55:26Amen.
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