- 7 hours ago
Hello Racers and welcome to DRAG☆FOLKS - Everything Drag (Race) In One Place To Watch. If you liked this video, feel free to subscribe for more and join my socials, where I post frequently:
REDDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/dragfolksworld/
WEBPAGE: https://dragfolks.carrd.co/
OTHER CHANNEL: https://www.dailymotion.com/user/dragfolksarchives
REDDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/dragfolksworld/
WEBPAGE: https://dragfolks.carrd.co/
OTHER CHANNEL: https://www.dailymotion.com/user/dragfolksarchives
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:12Oh my God!
00:18Oh my God!
00:20Oh my God!
00:37Hello possums, yes it is me, isn't it exciting?
00:41It's too long since I confronted myself with my peer group, if I can call you that.
00:49London weekend.
00:50Well, they've been very kind to me and I asked them what they'd like for Krizzy.
00:54And those boys at LWT said,
00:57You, Dame Edna, you're our favourite stocking filler.
01:01And I think I am spookily enough.
01:03I'm certainly queen of the ratings, aren't I?
01:06And I've been gift wrapped tonight by my talented son, Kenny.
01:10Of Kenneth Everidge modes, Melbourne, Sydney and Manila.
01:16It's a lovely frock, I can feel women's eyes boring into this.
01:23But ever since my show, the Dame Edna experience was such a tremendous success.
01:29Celebrities from all over the world, real celebrities, wannabe celebrities,
01:34and people who just thought they were celebrities,
01:38have been clamouring for an encounter with me.
01:41It's been Cardboard City outside London weekend.
01:44People slumming it in their Rolls Royces.
01:47Sleeping all night in their Harrods.
01:49Hello Geoffrey.
01:50Hello Geoffrey.
01:51Hello Geoffrey.
01:53Sleeping all night in their Harrods hampers.
01:56Longing to bribe, beg or borrow their way into this award-winning or potentially award-winning show.
02:03Everyone wants a seat.
02:05But of course, call me old-fashioned, there are no seats.
02:08It's been impossible.
02:10People in hospital have been begging for bypass surgery to get in.
02:14That's why we've got Nurse Little Sister Bedgegood over there.
02:18Hello Sister.
02:19She's here in case anyone has a funny turn while they're talking to me.
02:24And people are inclined to come over a little bit strange.
02:27Don't be frightened of me.
02:28I'm a person.
02:29I am.
02:30Frick me and I bleed.
02:31There's no difference.
02:33I've said it once.
02:34I'll say it a hundred times.
02:35There's no difference between me and you except I'm rich and talented.
02:41And you are almost rich and talented.
02:46But if you're expecting a show, you may be disappointed.
02:49This isn't a show.
02:51It's not entertainment per se.
02:53I love saying per se.
02:55I mean, if I were home entertainment.
02:57Look, I'm not a bowl of spaghetti.
02:59I'm not a bottle of wine and after eight mint.
03:01That's home entertainment in my book.
03:03I'm a therapist.
03:04I'm a counsellor.
03:05I'm a swami.
03:08This is the output for my input.
03:11It really is.
03:12This isn't a studio.
03:13I think of it as a massage parlour for the human spirit.
03:16I do.
03:17Where I give you what you dare not ask your husband or wife to give you.
03:23That's a brain job.
03:25You know, Dr Jonathan Miller said to me the other day,
03:28after five minutes conversation with me,
03:31he said,
03:31Damien, you've given me the best brain job I've ever had in my life.
03:35And that's a big compliment from Dr John.
03:37Don't you think?
03:38Mother Teresa said after watching one of my shows,
03:41she said,
03:41she said,
03:42after seeing you,
03:43she said,
03:44I feel a better person.
03:45Now, compliment.
03:47Awesome.
03:48Compliments like that.
03:49Don't grow on trees, do they?
03:51Now,
03:54there's a lot of people here all looking gorgeous and happy already.
03:58That's what I like to see.
04:00And almost healed.
04:01This is going to be healing.
04:03It's not a show as I say,
04:04it's a tool.
04:05It's an interactive learning tool.
04:08Now,
04:08there's a lot of people here.
04:09I want as many people to share as possible tonight.
04:13And just to make things a little easy,
04:15I want you all to centre yourselves.
04:17I want everyone to hold hands for a moment.
04:19Just hold hands.
04:23A little moment of silence.
04:29A little silence, please.
04:38I wonder what people tuning in will make of this.
04:45Lots of questions.
04:47First question, please.
04:49Who's got a question?
04:52Bob Hoskins.
04:55Um...
04:55Bob, look at you, you darling.
04:57You look a bit biblical, don't you?
05:01Congratulations, before you say a word, Robert,
05:04on the wonderful success you've had.
05:06Oh, thank you.
05:06You've given minicab drivers new hope.
05:10You know, he's found his way.
05:12This wonderful actor.
05:16He has...
05:17You've found your way to the top of your profession, Bob,
05:20and probably couldn't find your way from Bermondsey to Bayswater.
05:23And you clapped out Cortina, could you, Possum?
05:27What's your question, my darling?
05:28Well, it's not really a question, it's just that we were all talking outside,
05:32and I'm sure...
05:33That's understandable.
05:34Yeah, of course.
05:36But we were talking, and I'm sure I speak on behalf of all of us,
05:40that we're really very, very sad about your very tragic loss.
05:44My loss?
05:46My loss?
05:46Well, you...
05:47What, darling?
05:47I haven't lost anything, sweetheart?
05:49Your husband?
05:51He's just died?
05:52Norm.
05:53Thank you very much for starting my show.
05:59I'm afraid Norm has been gathered, yes.
06:03This has become a bit of a shock to a lot of people in other parts of the world.
06:07But my husband, I mean, he's been clinically dead five times,
06:10but this is it, I'm afraid.
06:13And it is sad, it is very, very sad.
06:16It's something I have to learn to accept, Bob, sweetheart.
06:18You put it very sweetly, and let's get it out of the way.
06:22My husband's last words to me were,
06:24give it to them, Edna.
06:25I wasn't quite sure what he meant,
06:27whether it was a professional exhortation,
06:30or whether he was referring to some of his vital organs,
06:33because my husband has been globally recycled.
06:38He's a state-of-the-art donor.
06:40When we got to his bedside,
06:41he was just a dent in the pillow, poor Dad.
06:44He signed himself away.
06:47As a matter of fact,
06:48he's been so successfully distributed throughout the world,
06:53that I frankly thought the cremation was a waste of money.
06:56I mean, I don't mean that in a horrible way.
06:59I mean that very nicely.
07:01It would have been probably more sensible just to pop him in the microwave.
07:08Almost wish I'd done it in my own kitchen.
07:11What woman doesn't?
07:13That's quite so.
07:16But Sister Young Husband, my husband's constant companion,
07:20in fact, that nurse was his right hand for a very, very long time.
07:29As some members of the nursing profession are.
07:34She made a fool of herself at the committal.
07:36She threw herself onto the rollers.
07:39She nearly went down into the bowels of the crematorium
07:41and had her handles unscrewed as a matter of fact.
07:44But she's behaved very, very badly,
07:47so I wish all those things had happened at home.
07:50But Norm's bits have gone everywhere.
07:52They've been helping people out and in, in one particular case.
07:56But his organs haven't been universally accepted.
08:01I have to say this, Bob, if you're thinking of donating yourself.
08:05The Mayo Clinic rejected my husband's pancreas,
08:09which I thought was an insult.
08:10I mean, it's, it's not easy palming off a pre-owned pancreas,
08:14I have to admit, even if it's had one careful owner.
08:18And I had his sweetbreads on my hands for long time.
08:23The Oxfam shop wouldn't even take his suits.
08:26Ah, as I was about to throw them into the incinerator,
08:29a little, a little claw shot forth.
08:33Of course it was the hand of my bridesmaid, Madge Allsopp.
08:36You see, she's wearing one of Norm's suits now.
08:38Can the cameras get a picture of her? Look at that.
08:41What does she look like? Dr. Crippen?
08:45Norman wisdom? Or is it a bit like Gracie Fields in one of old Claude Halbert's suits?
08:52A sad sight.
08:54Of course, Madge is as deaf as opposed.
08:56She hasn't even got a battery in at the moment.
09:00Little does that woman know that that suit of normal,
09:02she had it, of course, cut down by the Emanuels, cost a fortune.
09:07Little does Madge realise that that's the suit my husband had his first urological spasm in.
09:14In those trousers, my husband first realised that he had something very gravely awry with his waterworks.
09:22Of course, strange women approach Madge when she's dressed like that.
09:25Hampstead lady novelists.
09:28Monocles.
09:29She looks as though she's published by the Virago Press, hasn't she?
09:34She's written nothing more interesting than a letter to the milkman.
09:37However, Bob, that wasn't a question, darling.
09:40I've rambled on a bit. It wasn't. It was a statement, sweetheart.
09:43I want questions. I want difficult, curly questions.
09:46But keep them short. Short and curly questions, if possible.
09:51Dr. Anthony Clare, darling, please. You're next.
09:55Sir John Milsoone. Sorry, Sir John.
09:58Dr. Clare was in by a whisker.
10:00Dame Edna, I'm a psychiatrist, and as you know...
10:03I know that.
10:05Do you want me to lie down, do you?
10:10We, as you probably know, lay great emphasis on the importance of grieving.
10:14And in view of your tragic loss,
10:17I wonder the extent to which you've taken this as seriously as perhaps you should.
10:22I have. And it's very unperceptive of you, Dr. Clare.
10:27Not to notice.
10:28I mean, having a good time is my way of grieving.
10:31It's my...
10:34It's my route to grief.
10:36And I'm in mourning. I'm wearing black underwear under all of them.
10:40I am.
10:42And, you know, of course, the other night someone said,
10:44come to a dinner party next Thursday.
10:46I said, I'm sorry. I'm terribly sorry. I'm grieving.
10:49It's as simple as that, Dr. Clare.
10:51You're just a little bit too simplistic, I think, in some of your assessments.
10:54I mean that nicely. I do.
10:57Sorry.
10:58It's all very old-fashioned.
10:59But I do.
11:01And, you know, I didn't mean to snap at you, by the way.
11:03I'm a little bit nervous. I'm suffering from PMT possums.
11:08Which is post-mortem tension.
11:10That's not true.
11:13But I have to say...
11:17I have to say that on my last trip to Australia,
11:21I have a little memorial to Norm.
11:23It's a little plaque.
11:23I visited his plaque.
11:25Of course, when I used to see him in the hospital, I'd visit his plaque.
11:27He had a lot of dental trouble, and the plaque hit him.
11:30As soon as he walked in the door.
11:31But that's another kind of plaque.
11:32I have this little granite tablet on a wall out at the Garden of Rest.
11:38And it's very beautiful.
11:39The sprinklers are going, scattering their rainbows hither and yon.
11:43And there are people sort of sprinkling their various loved ones' ashes.
11:48It's beautiful out there.
11:49And I noticed already that a kookaburra, that's a beautiful Australian marsupial,
11:54had flown over my husband's memorial tablet, leaving...
11:59Well, shall we say it had passed over the tablet.
12:03I rushed back to my limousine to get a rag from the glove box,
12:07and I was just buffing it up.
12:08And I suddenly looked at the rag and realised it was a pair of my husband's underpants.
12:15At that moment, I knew grief.
12:18I said goodbye to him then.
12:21They're standing on a stepladder with a pair of my husband's soiled y-fronts in my head.
12:28Does that answer your question, Dr Carey?
12:32Almost.
12:35Hayley Mills.
12:36I've always wanted to ask you, you know, from one woman to another, and one mother to another...
12:43Of course, Hayley.
12:44How do you feel about this new trend of blaming the parents for the sins of the children?
12:54Well, it happens, Hayley. It's not new, my darling.
12:58It's not new.
12:59Children have been blaming their parents for years.
13:02They have. It happened.
13:03I remember almost blaming my mother, you know, and she had a lot to answer for my mother.
13:08But it happened.
13:09And I think there must have been a time when you put your little Lord and Lady Mills through the
13:14mill, Hayley.
13:14There was a time.
13:16Wasn't there.
13:17I don't mean to bring little skeletons out of closets.
13:20I don't say this.
13:22Hoop, hoop.
13:25I'm not going.
13:26Not that that little Bolton fellow was a skeleton.
13:28He was very nice.
13:29I'm going to say this now.
13:32He was delightful.
13:34But I'm going to say this.
13:36It happens.
13:37You know, my daughter Valmay was berating me.
13:41She's been given... I have a beautiful daughter Valmay.
13:43She was beautiful.
13:44We pump telephone numbers into her education.
13:47Not just telephone numbers, but telephone numbers with international dialling codes in front.
13:52I've given my daughter Valmay everything.
13:55And she has bitten the hand that feeds her.
13:58She's reactionary.
13:59She shoplifts Hayley.
14:00Now look, darling.
14:02You know, that's...
14:03I mean, it's something Dr. Clare would know about it, Anthony.
14:07Look at me when I'm talking to you.
14:10She does.
14:11It's a cry for help, isn't it?
14:12Shoplifting.
14:13Yes.
14:13I think in the circumstances it might be more understandable.
14:16All right.
14:16Oh, do you?
14:22Nothing more unreliable than unremunerated medical advice, though.
14:35It's a bit like meeting an architect at a party and asking what you should do about your kitchen.
14:39It never really works.
14:42All marks for trying, though, aunt.
14:46However...
14:47She shoplifts.
14:48Remind me not to refer to you again, by the way, don't I?
14:52I mean that caringly.
14:54Salmate.
14:55She goes into supermarkets.
14:57She just takes things.
14:58She stuffs them down her pantyhose.
15:00I said to one of my minders, I said, follow that girl and pay for whatever she's got in her
15:04pantyhose.
15:06He said, she charges for that, does she?
15:08I...
15:11I've changed, Hayley.
15:12I'm a changed woman.
15:15It's tough love from me now.
15:17I don't do it.
15:18She's got to make her own mistakes and I think children have to.
15:21I made a few.
15:23You made a few.
15:24We all did.
15:24Little Johnny probably made a few.
15:26Bless his heart.
15:28But we all do.
15:29And I think the more you get bolstered up by parents, the more you go on making the same mistakes.
15:35And I'm not doing it for Val May.
15:36She's made her own bed.
15:38She's got to sleep in it, I'm afraid.
15:40Let's have another question.
15:43Barry Norman.
15:44Dame Edna.
15:45Look at you, Barry.
15:46In your illustrious, unique career, there seems to me to be one thing missing and that is the cinema.
15:51Don't you think it'd be a good idea to tell the story of your remarkable life on film?
15:55Yes, I would.
15:56I'm thinking of making a film...
15:59I'm thinking of making a film about my life.
16:01I've been approached by David Putnam.
16:03He wrote me a lovely letter from his club in Wigmore Street.
16:10It was gorgeous.
16:12A little hint of Dettol about the letter, I thought.
16:15But he is going to...
16:17He's really very, very keen to sign me up.
16:21He is Barry.
16:22Bless you.
16:23I'm writing my autobiography.
16:25I don't know what to call it.
16:26A spooky life or my gorgeous, gorgeous life.
16:28Or call me old fashioned.
16:29I haven't decided.
16:30But I'm sure...
16:32Who's going to read it when it comes out?
16:34Hands up.
16:35Oh, goodness.
16:36Will you all be in the index?
16:37The rest of you won't.
16:39I don't know who to dedicate it to.
16:41I'm thinking of dedicating it to myself, as a matter of fact.
16:44Must be a bit different.
16:46But a film of my life will be wonderful.
16:49I don't know.
16:50I think I'll have...
16:50I'll play myself when young.
16:53And I thought...
16:54Little Jane Seymour can play me as I am now.
16:59And then I thought that little dimpled dame, Judi Dench, could play me, you know, in the next decade or
17:05so.
17:06And then I've got Diana Rigg playing me as an old woman.
17:09No, no, no.
17:11In heavy character make-up.
17:16I should mention...
17:19I'm heaving myself out of this luxurious chair.
17:21I should mention, possums, that...
17:24Isn't this informal and lovely?
17:25I mean, it's hardly...
17:26Doesn't feel like a show, does it?
17:28Well, it isn't.
17:30I should mention that all of you are wearing little stars.
17:33Have a peep down.
17:35You see those stars you're wearing?
17:36This is colour-coding.
17:38And this...
17:39This is just for me.
17:41I can't tell you what the different colours mean.
17:42But it's degrees of stardom and celebrity.
17:47That is.
17:49You know, some have got green, some have got orange.
17:51I can't. It would be invidious for me to tell you what the colours mean.
17:56You'd only be scratching each other's eyes out.
17:59Suffice it to say that little Geoffrey Archer's the only one with a yellow star.
18:05What does it mean? Isn't it spooky?
18:09Mayor Jawsop, my bride's mate, naturally has no star at all.
18:13But that's as it should be.
18:17Anyway, it would be very, very rude.
18:18And I wouldn't want to offend, you know, small-scale stars.
18:21You know, people wearing the green...
18:22Oh, what have I said?
18:24What have I said?
18:26Next question, please.
18:29Jonathan Ross.
18:30I'd like to ask you a personal question about your family, if that's OK.
18:32Family, yes.
18:33I'm very interested in your unmarried son, Kenny.
18:36Has he...
18:39Has he managed to come to terms with the nature of his sexuality yet?
18:43Has he come to terms with the nature of his sexuality?
18:46Jonathan, I'm disappointed in you.
18:48You make me feel like Mary Whitehouse, darling.
18:52My son is as red-blooded a male as you are, Jonathan.
18:58My son is a womaniser, as a matter of fact.
19:02I'd like you to go up to his room late one night.
19:05As a matter of fact, he asked me if I would ask you to go up.
19:10You walk in there, you turn on the spotlights, they're all on dimmers.
19:14And there's Barbara Stanwyck, there's Joan Crawford,
19:20Susan Haywood, all these gorgeous, gorgeous women, Veronica Lake, Judy Garland, of course, Marlene Dietrich.
19:27All their smiling down from all...
19:30My son, by the way, is the Australian secretary of the Barbara Stanwyck Appreciation Society.
19:36I said, Kenny, the only thing is, I said, they're all dead, or nearly dead.
19:42I said, can't you just fall in love with a living woman?
19:45He said, you're my woman, Mum, he says to me.
19:48That's what he says to me. He said, you know, I love you like Anthony Perkins loved his own mother
19:55in that film.
19:56I haven't seen it, but I believe it's a delightful film.
20:00Let me know when it's on, Barry Norman, will you?
20:02You know all those things you're better than what's on, possum.
20:08However, I saw you with your hand twinkling almost first, Sir John Mills,
20:12and I'm longing to know what you want to ask me, you darling.
20:15Damon, I hope that you won't take offence at this.
20:19No, I don't take offence.
20:20I'm a great admirer of yours.
20:21I know you are.
20:22I've worked with you, and I think you're a very generous person.
20:25I can be generous. On the other hand, my revenge could be terrible, John.
20:32Not to you, darling.
20:35I wonder, Damon, aren't you perhaps just a little bit worried that lovely Madge Allsop
20:41is fast becoming a star in her own right.
20:48Back to Madge.
20:49Well, she's becoming a star if too many people ask me questions about it.
20:53And incidentally, Geoffrey, your time will come.
20:58You know very well where impatience has got you in the past.
21:05I'm sorry.
21:06Madge.
21:07Well, she was in this commercial.
21:09Of course, I'm glad she was.
21:10I put her up for it.
21:11She needed a bit of money.
21:13It's given her a little bit of an identity.
21:16She's with her autograph book.
21:17Of course, she's asked what celebrity.
21:19He hasn't been pestered by my bridesmaid for their autograph.
21:21But of course, she is a television series or her autograph book is in New Zealand.
21:27She puts her autograph book up on a sort of little stand and turns one page a week.
21:32They film it.
21:33That's a show in New Zealand.
21:35It gives you some idea.
21:38It gives you some idea of, you know, the standard.
21:41It's won an award.
21:42It won a bronze kiwi.
21:43It wasn't.
21:44It didn't look like a kiwi.
21:46It was a horrible brown lump.
21:47It looked like something a kiwi might have done.
21:52But anyway, I mean, of course, she dresses abominably.
21:55I mean, she looks...
21:56Her clothes make the Turin Shroud look glamorous.
22:00I mean that nicely.
22:01I'm not meaning that in an irreverent way either.
22:04You know, the Turin Shroud.
22:06I think it's authentic too.
22:07I mean, I don't believe that it's an old dishcloth with a picture of Billy Connolly on it.
22:14Next question, please.
22:17Sir Yehudi Menon.
22:19Dame Edna, I know that your life at the top is full of stress.
22:26How do you deal with the day-to-day those awful pressures during your mega stardom?
22:33Oh, Sir Yehudi, you darling.
22:35Well, of course, like you, I was a bit of a child prodigy.
22:39I was, bless your heart.
22:41You were playing your little fiddle in the maternity ward, weren't you?
22:45And I was something like that.
22:47My mother told me this before we bundled her into the Maximum Security Twilight home.
22:52She said that when I was born, she said they brought this little bubba along with a little, still a
22:58little mauve, little mauve mop on its head.
23:02I was born with steria, by the way.
23:05Yehudi, if I may call you that.
23:07Whatever I like.
23:12My mother said, what is it? What is it?
23:14You know how mothers do.
23:15What is it? What is it?
23:16And the nurse said, it's a one-off.
23:19It's a one-off.
23:21And if the word megastar had been coined then, they probably would have said that then.
23:25Probably said something like that when you were born too, little Ringo, you darling.
23:29I adore that boy.
23:33I think, you know, I think I'm as fit as a fiddle.
23:36I think, to use a metaphor, you'd understand, Yehudi, darling.
23:40It's health. It is.
23:41I've still got my drives. I've still got my juices.
23:45My gynaecologist looked up the other day and he said to me,
23:48he said, you are still capable of having grandchildren, Edna.
23:52Isn't that wonderful?
23:56And I do simple little exercises.
23:58I do something, I mean, it passes on to you because you could be in a better state of preservation
24:03than you are at the moment.
24:04I mean that very, very kindly.
24:06This is a person who's fond of you talking.
24:10I do something called yoghurt.
24:13Now it's got nothing, it has absolutely nothing to do with yoghurt.
24:17It's something else. It's an oriental thing.
24:19I'll take you back afterwards and show you a few simple positions.
24:23I will. I hope no one will misconstrue what we're doing.
24:27There are a few little hazards in yoghurt. You know, I got actually locked in the slot position the other
24:34day.
24:35You know the slot position? That's the lotus spelt backwards.
24:38It gives you a rough idea what kind of position I was in.
24:44But, it is, you know, I'm healthy. And I think it is health every time.
24:49Geoffrey Archer, you're longing to say something. Spit it out. Spit it out.
24:54Dear madam, first I want to thank you for the kind letter where you invited my mother.
24:58She's dignified and she's restrained. My mother is restrained, but unfortunately by men in white uniforms.
25:05Oh, most amusing. Most amusing.
25:10Oh, yes. Old age is funny now, is it?
25:15We're reduced to that level.
25:18Michael Winner.
25:19Dame Edna, I don't like snakes. Do you have any pet hates or aversions?
25:24I didn't know you didn't like snakes, and yet some creepy crawlies have come into those films of yours, haven't
25:29they?
25:30Not always animals, either.
25:33But, I do have pet aversions, and the thing about pet aversions, which is spooky...
25:37Hello, Esther, darling. I didn't see you. You're looking lovely. It must be the lighting.
25:46Please, for heaven's sake.
25:51Lady Mills, I'm disappointed in you.
25:58Michael, I think the pet aversion is something that we can't explain.
26:03There are things that in my life I think, oh, that's yucky, and yet I don't know why.
26:07There is something I can't stand, a type of a person.
26:11Now, don't get me wrong, and I'm going out on a limb here, and this could be construed as tastelessness.
26:19There's a type of person I cannot bear, and do you know what they are?
26:24Lip readers.
26:30You see, they're wondering what I'm talking about.
26:34No, the way they look at your mouth, you know, you'd think you had a bit of spinach on your
26:37tooth.
26:39Or your tongue was coated.
26:41I hate lip readers. I'm sorry.
26:44They can't help it, I know. Please don't be offended. I know they can't help it.
26:49But then they're not being offended, are they? Because, you know, I'm being tasteful.
26:54If I get any abusive letters to, you know, after this, from lip readers, I'll know who told them.
27:02It'll be one of you, I'm afraid, and although it's about 55 million, we'll track you down.
27:06I'm sorry, but we will, because I don't want to give any offence to lip readers, because they can't help
27:12it.
27:13It's just a thing. And you asked me, Michael Winner. You asked me, and I told you, because I'm up
27:18front. I'm sorry. Call me old-fashioned. Sorry.
27:22And are you making another one of those, um, what are they called again?
27:26A death wish, David.
27:27What, a death wish? Are you?
27:28No, we're not doing any more of that.
27:30Oh, no more.
27:31We're going in for comedy now.
27:33Are you? I thought they were funny.
27:37Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
27:45no, no, no, no, no, no.
27:46Up, up.
27:51Oh, dear, don't I look absolutely gorgeous.
27:56I can't help it.
27:57I'm putting the words into your mouth.
27:59Eat your heart out, little Emanuel's there.
28:03Another Kenneth Everidge triumph I'm wearing.
28:06And I'm sorry I had to change my frock during that commercial break,
28:09but unfortunately I wet my dress.
28:12No, please.
28:13It wasn't nerves.
28:14Or would I make such a yucky and tasteless reference?
28:17No.
28:18But I spilled a little, a little night nurse frappe on my frock.
28:24Old Madge carries it around in a thermos, don't you, Madge?
28:27And I must admit I had a little fortifying nip,
28:31and the result was a spoiled dress, not just for the time being.
28:35So I'm wearing this other creation which is gorgeous
28:38and gives a bit of variety to this show,
28:40if variety it lacks, which it doesn't.
28:43It's a little tight.
28:44I just have to sit.
28:53People wonder why my ankles are so gorgeous.
28:56I'm pre-empting a question.
28:57But I do little exercises in planes when no one's looking.
29:01Who doesn't?
29:02And I do those little things with my feet until the ankle stops clicking,
29:09I think is the idea.
29:11I just keep on doing that little circular motion,
29:13and I keep my legs pretty gorgeous and enviable.
29:16I'm very, very much praised on my old pins.
29:20Who wants to ask me another question?
29:25Meatloaf.
29:28Hello, Mr. Loaf.
29:29Lovely to see you.
29:30How are you?
29:30I love your dress.
29:32It's lovely, isn't it?
29:33It is.
29:34And I love you.
29:35And you've winged your way in from the United States to see me?
29:38Yes, I did, I did.
29:40And you know what?
29:40In the USA Today snapshots,
29:42I was reading that a lot of US women are widowed,
29:45but many of them remarried,
29:47and I just wonder if you were planning to find a new soulmate for yourself.
29:51Oh, darling.
29:54What lies behind those words of yours, Mr. Loaf?
29:58Or may I call you meat?
30:06Oh, darling.
30:08Well, it is a bit soon after normal.
30:10I shouldn't be smiling.
30:11It is a little bit soon
30:14for me to be thinking really too seriously of tying the knot with another person.
30:18Naturally, I'm looking.
30:20I'm casting my eye over a few male members of the audience here today.
30:27But it's widow shopping.
30:29That's all it is.
30:30It is.
30:32It's nothing more serious than that.
30:34And spookily enough, you know,
30:37I could be married already.
30:38I could commit an act of bigamy if I got married.
30:41Now, this is a funny little concept, isn't it?
30:44But I could be married to a man here this evening.
30:48I could be Mrs. Imran Khan, couldn't I?
30:53I could.
30:55Where are you, darling?
30:58Hello.
31:00Oh, ho, ho.
31:01No longer the world's most eligible bachelor.
31:06Does the idea excite you just a little?
31:09No, I'm pulling you.
31:10I'm pulling that silly leg of yours to use a cricketing expression.
31:15I am.
31:16But you're not married, are you?
31:18Not even secretly?
31:20I am, actually.
31:21Ah, are you?
31:22Secretly married.
31:23Do you think your mother would approve of me just a little bit?
31:27As a second wife, yes.
31:29Oh.
31:32Well, that's not bad.
31:33I think I might have to settle for second best.
31:35I think I might.
31:36You darling.
31:37I'll give you a hug later.
31:40What woman?
31:41Women will be so jealous of me.
31:44Well, I saw a little gleam of hope in his eye.
31:48There's old Madge down there.
31:50Look, goodness, I have to tell you something.
31:52You know, Norm used to sign things before he passed away.
31:56He'd sign anything he'd put in front of him.
31:58And he signed up for about a year's lunches.
32:02Of course, he passed away.
32:03But the hospital are inflexible.
32:05They still serve them magical.
32:07She goes, Barry, honestly, she goes into the hospital every day to eat those lunches.
32:13Even the intravenous ones, she doesn't.
32:15It's pathetic.
32:16She's in the corridor.
32:18Some of them.
32:19Of course, those intravenous ones don't taste of anything.
32:21She's in the corridor, with a drip, trying to find an orifice with taste buds.
32:27It's not the pretty sight, I'm afraid.
32:30I'm sorry.
32:33Next question, please.
32:36Esther Ransom, you darling.
32:39How long ago did we first meet, dear Leather?
32:41Esther, my darling, I knew you'd launch into a little dialogue.
32:45I knew it would be a simple question.
32:49Look at her body language, too, little Esther.
32:51A little hand over the mouth.
32:52What would that mean?
32:53Of course, Desmond Morris isn't here.
32:55He couldn't be here.
32:56But it means something.
32:57Are you taking the words back, just as you say them?
33:00Covering your little mouth?
33:01I'm admiring you.
33:03You won't remember.
33:04Esther, please don't misunderstand me, darling.
33:06I'm a long-term admirer of you.
33:07I met you in the mid-sixties.
33:09Yeah.
33:10When you worked for another little network, and very conscientiously.
33:14And already you had your little sling back on the bottom rung of the ladder.
33:20You had that gleam in your eye, Esther.
33:23You retain such loveliness.
33:26I want to ask you about this wonderful apartment.
33:27Who designed this?
33:28It's actually, it's temporary, very, very temporary.
33:32It's only for tonight, as a matter of fact.
33:34I've rented it.
33:35It's available.
33:36You know.
33:36You could move in here with little Desmond.
33:40That's almost a compliment.
33:42It is, Esther.
33:43And it's a lead-up, I hope, to the question that I'm hoping you're going to ask.
33:54No show without punch.
33:57If you ever lost those radiant looks, would you ever contemplate plastic surgery?
34:03I wouldn't, Esther.
34:05I've never thought of plastic surgery.
34:06I've never had anything done to myself at all.
34:09Nothing.
34:10Nowhere?
34:10Nowhere?
34:11In no area of my anatomy have I had anything done whatsoever.
34:17And ladies can have a look at me later if they want to.
34:20I'm available in the powder room if they want to.
34:24No, I mean this quite seriously, Esther.
34:27Not even in the dental department, darling.
34:31Mind you.
34:35I've seen you coming out of Janet Street Porter's dentist.
34:38I have.
34:40I have.
34:41Now I'm teasing.
34:43I shouldn't even make jokes about it because you look in very good shape.
34:46You've got that bone structure.
34:48Nose in the middle and an eye on each other.
34:52It doesn't suit everybody.
34:56Bill Wyman is longing to ask me something and I'm thrilled to see you here, Billy Boy.
35:03Lovely to see you.
35:04And look, you don't change, do you?
35:06You don't.
35:08Fresh and, well, not fresh, but I mean...
35:11Cheerful and gorgeous and relaxed.
35:13You having a nice time?
35:14Not bad.
35:15Lovely to see you, Billy.
35:16You're a survivor, aren't you?
35:18And I'd like to know your secret for us young lads, you know, to know how you manage to survive
35:24like you do.
35:24Listen to that, Ringo, a survivor.
35:28You're a survivor.
35:29I mean, when the stones started off, you started rolling with them, didn't you, darling?
35:34And you're still with us and you're still giving a tremendous amount of pleasure.
35:38What is the secret of survival?
35:42There's a few survivors here.
35:44There's dear old Johnny there and lovely Mary.
35:47What are you, John, now?
35:48Are you 81 yet?
35:51Not quite.
35:51Not quite.
35:52Oh.
35:53What's all the fuss about, then?
35:55However, I...
35:56No.
35:57Please.
35:59Please.
36:01Oh, oh.
36:04However, there's Judy Dench, of course, my favourite dame.
36:09Hello, Judy, my darling woman.
36:11Lovely to see you here tonight, too.
36:13Precious one.
36:15And I was thrilled when you got your dame put.
36:17I'm still thrilled when I think of it.
36:18You know, it's incredible that someone with a name like Judy Dench should have a dame put.
36:23Really?
36:23I mean this nicely, Judy.
36:24I do.
36:25And Dench is an interesting word.
36:27It means false teeth.
36:28Did you know that?
36:30When we were burning my mother's things before she went off to the Twilight home,
36:34we found an old book.
36:36Hayley, would you please look at me when I'm talking?
36:39You're so restless, darling.
36:41Little Hayley.
36:43Um...
36:45When we were burning my mother's things, we found an old book on the meaning of names.
36:48It said Dench...
36:49It's the same root as Dencher.
36:51I don't know if you ever knew that.
36:52It was spooky, isn't it?
36:54However, Judy, you're gorgeous.
36:56You're my favourite little dimpled dame.
36:58And I'll give you a hug later, precious heart.
37:00Bill Wyman.
37:01I haven't forgotten your question.
37:04Keep your mystery.
37:05Now, a lot of people don't know Bill.
37:07You see, they think of you, don't they, as the guitarist with the stones.
37:11And it is the guitar, isn't it, that you play?
37:15And, um...
37:16They don't know...
37:17You see?
37:18You've had all this publicity.
37:19You've been in the limelight all these years.
37:20They don't know you're an authority on medieval wall painting, do they?
37:24Because they don't know
37:26that every time a Bulgarian tapestry
37:29gets knocked down to a mysterious bidder at Sotheby's, it's you.
37:32It's coming into the limelight collection.
37:35Bill, it is keeping your mystery, darling, isn't it?
37:37I mean, it's a pompous way of expressing it, but that is the bottom line.
37:41And there are bits of me I keep to myself.
37:43I think you know that, or you wouldn't be still probing away.
37:46You'd say there's a bit of Edna that she hasn't revealed,
37:49and there always will be.
37:50I'm still yielding up new secrets,
37:52like the earth yields up new precious and semi-precious stones.
37:56There's little Sam Fox.
37:58Hello, darling.
37:59Hello, Samantha.
38:00Looking beautiful.
38:01And who's that man next to you with his hand up?
38:07It's little Derek, is it?
38:09Oh, the glamour puss of the left.
38:11Hello, Ed and Derek, darling.
38:13I've been sitting here,
38:14wondering why it is that I fancy you so much.
38:16I've actually realised.
38:18First I thought it was because you reminded me of Mary Whitehouse.
38:21Now I realise it's because you remind me of Margaret Thatcher.
38:23Is it?
38:24And you secretly fancy Margaret Thatcher, do you?
38:27After looking at you...
38:28That explains a lot, darling. It really does.
38:33Good luck with your career.
38:42And Samantha, you're an angel.
38:44You don't even need to ask me a question.
38:47Do you know that programme Neighbours?
38:49Yes, I do.
38:50Do you like to appear in that?
38:52I was asked to appear in Neighbours.
38:53Look, I was asked to appear in Dynasty.
38:55You know, I was asked to appear in all of those things.
38:58Frankly, I had to give the work to actresses who needed it more.
39:02I had to.
39:03And I can't be tied down by a series.
39:06It's too much for me, Sammy.
39:08It really is.
39:09I have to be free.
39:10If I were in a series, of course they want me in these series,
39:13but I said no.
39:14Neighbours is very good and the success is wonderful, isn't it?
39:16Australian life is just like that.
39:19It is the most accurate reflection of Australian life.
39:22It is.
39:23It is.
39:24It's like stepping either...
39:26When you go to Australia, it's like stepping into Neighbours
39:28or cell block, whatever it's called.
39:30It really is.
39:32It's extremely spooky.
39:34Bill, back to you.
39:38Another secret of survival, and it's very simple,
39:40is making the difficult look easy.
39:43Think about that, as you just have.
39:44I could tell by the little silence.
39:46To make what seems, which is very difficult,
39:49look effortless.
39:51Now, I do that.
39:53I think Ringo does that.
39:54I think you do that, Bill, too.
39:57You know, we put years into our work, into our artistry.
40:00Every artist, every little dressmaker,
40:03the Emanuel sitting there, little Jude,
40:05even Barry Norman.
40:06I mean, it's making something that you've learnt,
40:10you've sweated blood and tears over,
40:13look like it's just off the top of your head.
40:15People say, good heavens, they pay that Dame Edna
40:18big bickies, she's a squillion heiress.
40:21What does she do?
40:22She just rabbits on on the stage,
40:24and somehow people are fascinated by what she has to say.
40:27But there's artistry there.
40:30You know, and in a sense, too, I mean,
40:31you can't win...
40:32Have it both ways, can you?
40:34To say, why don't you recognise my artistry?
40:36I mean, it's...
40:37Well, it's a bit of a paradox.
40:39It's for open university students, all of this.
40:42But you, my darling Bill Wyman,
40:44make the difficult look easy, and so do I.
40:46And Ringo, too.
40:48When you're playing your drums,
40:49I mean, people think, you know,
40:51when they hear you, darling,
40:52they think, well, look, a three-year-old
40:53with a few saucepans would do as well as that.
40:56They don't know, do they, possum?
40:58They don't know the half of it.
41:02Well, I could go on chatting.
41:04I could share and care with you for much, much longer
41:08as we sit here tonight in the studio at London Weekend
41:11sharing a little of our experience,
41:13hope and strength with each other.
41:15But alas, time, the constant enemy of us all
41:19is telling me that we must wind up.
41:22But I'm still here.
41:23I still have you in my prayers
41:26and I still hope you keep the flowers
41:28and the letters coming in.
41:30Music has always been very close to me.
41:32We've been talking to little Billy Wyman,
41:35little Ringo, to a lot of Simon Rattle,
41:38lots of lovely musos here tonight,
41:39and little Yehudi, not Wrench forgetting you, darling.
41:43And I'm no real musician.
41:45I try.
41:46I do my best.
41:48And I have my accompanist waiting in the wings.
41:51His name is Laurie Holloway.
41:52In you come, Laurie.
41:53Give him a big hand.
42:05You're looking very nice tonight, Laurie.
42:07Thank you, Dame Edna.
42:08Don't you love this flat?
42:10Beautiful.
42:10Your skin is so lovely.
42:11My skin?
42:12I was talking about the flat.
42:23It's not a line, Dame Edna.
42:25No.
42:25Non sequiturs really appeal to me.
42:28My skin is lovely.
42:33My skin...
42:38I feel a song coming on, Lauren.
42:44My forehead is no longer wrinkled.
42:49I'm no more dejected and sad.
42:52Now my husband's remains have been sprinkled
42:55at the foot of a prize-winning glam.
43:01Oh.
43:14Why does this make me think of Norm?
43:19Like a phoenix I've arisen from Norm's ashes.
43:26His vital organs are snap frozen at the lamps.
43:31Possums, what am I trying to tell you?
43:35I'm a free woman on the market, up four grams.
43:43It's time to let you menfolk touch the nub of me.
43:50Zero in upon the existential hub of me.
43:54Forget this wasted hour of idle chat.
43:57It's high time I told you where I'm really.
44:06Call me old-fashioned.
44:09I'm an old-fashioned mega star.
44:15The feminists love me.
44:17I've always held on to my brow.
44:23Let's face it, I am not a power dresser.
44:27Just a trash-fashioned lady born again.
44:32And although I'm to the far left of Vanessa,
44:36I've still got a soft spot for the men.
44:41Call me old-fashioned.
44:43My morals are far from lax.
44:46I've got my I's and crossed my T's.
44:49You can spot me in Harrah's.
44:52With headscarf and filo-fax.
44:55I've put non-entities at ease.
44:58Success hasn't made me inaccessible.
45:02I've still got the common touch I hope.
45:07Fame has made me unimpressable.
45:10I bought new undies to meet with the Pope.
45:14I've had a brager.
45:16But right now, possums, I need some toy boys.
45:20Eager to help me shop my favourite beats South Malton Street.
45:26No point for boy boys who haven't got as much.
45:30I've talked there to a piece at the Caprice.
45:34If your man has got some brains, it's half the battle.
45:38All low animal appeal.
45:41Another thing.
45:42I wanna cross between meatloaf and Simon Rattles.
45:47With a punch of Tom Selleck and Sting.
45:52Finale coming up for some.
45:54No more excuses.
45:56We women must live our lives.
45:59Don't miss the boat.
46:00Go for the throat.
46:02I've still got my juices.
46:05And I have got all my drives.
46:08You know how I know a friendly guy now.
46:12My creamy skin is rather thin.
46:16And so easily scarred.
46:20Call me old fashioned.
46:23I'm not so tough.
46:25Call me old fashioned.
46:27Don't get too rough.
46:29Call me old fashioned.
46:31I'm a serious, vulnerable, old fashioned mega star.
46:36Hi、 铭铭铭铭铭铭铭铭铭链 Yog bark!
47:01All right.
47:02Good nightWhoa.
47:02Good nightGood nightGood night termin Heуем!
47:06Good night év0krrhnh8!
47:06Oh my god!
47:13Oh my god!
47:24Oh my god!
Comments