▶ He Missed My Surgery for Her - FULL | Reelshort — Full Episode
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Short filmTranscript
00:00The moment the scalpel sliced into my left eye, my husband, Darian Blackwood, was tangled up in bed with his
00:07mistress.
00:08When I woke from general anesthesia, the first thing I did was open my chat with Darian.
00:14Darian, tomorrow night's the full moon. My curse is going to flare up again.
00:19The doctor said the success rate this time is only one in three.
00:22If I wake up and you're not there, then we're over.
00:25The messages had been sent a day ago. He still hadn't replied.
00:30Then an anonymous message popped up.
00:32A video. He was roughly pulling open his mistress's nightgone straps, kissing drunkenly along her neck.
00:40The bedside clock showed the exact time I'd been in surgery the night before.
00:44In the video, he looked so passionate.
00:48But in our chat history, every reply he ever sent me was cold.
00:52I'm busy. Get my assistant to sign the papers.
00:55I'm in a board meeting. You don't need to tell me these things anymore.
01:00Eventually, he muted my messages altogether and assigned me a private assistant.
01:04Someone who's only was signing documents that required a partner's authorization.
01:08Sorry, but I don't think he'll have time to visit you today either.
01:11I stared blankly at that message and finally decided to give up on this relationship.
01:16I texted the assistant.
01:19Don't come anymore.
01:20Then I called my lawyer.
01:22Draft a separation agreement for me.
01:26As the anesthesia wore off, my skull started throoping with pain.
01:30I couldn't even close my eyes.
01:31When this curse flared up, I might lose my left eye completely.
01:37Half conscious, I wondered.
01:39If I died on that operating table this time, when would Darian find out?
01:45Probably when they called him to identify my body.
01:48After all, his time and attention would never belong to a beta like me.
01:52Someone without pheromones.
01:54That evening, the isolation room door opened.
01:57Darian walked in carrying a thermos bag and a gift bag.
02:00How are you feeling?
02:01I'm okay.
02:02That's good.
02:07Brought you soup.
02:10I'm allergic to seafood.
02:12The one who lucked seafood was his mistress, Luna.
02:14Then had taken the gift bag.
02:17Sorry, I couldn't stay with you last night.
02:19This is to make up for it.
02:20Inside was a delicate hair clip.
02:23He didn't care about anything related to me.
02:26He didn't even know that after multiple serenial surgeries, I'd shaved my head long ago.
02:32Luna got sunburned at the beach, so I brought her to the hospital to get checked.
02:36As he spoke, he poured me a bowl of soup.
02:39She got burned pretty badly.
02:41Her whole back's red.
02:44I said nothing.
02:45Why aren't you drinking it?
02:47He leaned closer, and I caught the heavy, sugary scent of perfume.
02:51I ignored the question.
02:52You changed cologne?
02:54He paused, then smiled.
02:57Luna recommended it.
02:59Smells nice, doesn't it?
03:02If you like it, I'll have her bring you some.
03:05After all these years, he should have known that as a scentless beta, I hated anything that masks natural scent.
03:11But nothing about me had ever mattered to him.
03:14The isolation room fell silent for a few seconds.
03:17Then his phone notification broke the quiet.
03:20Oh, right.
03:21The assistant said you told him not to come anymore?
03:23He won't need to sign anything for me anymore.
03:25Hmm.
03:25As long as you're getting better.
03:27Softly, I said.
03:28I'm not.
03:29The curse is getting worse.
03:32I may need permanent isolation at any time.
03:38Do you still want this relationship?
03:40Darian, look at this video!
03:41It's so funny!
03:43He muted the volume and finally looked at me.
03:47What did you say?
03:49The machines kept beeping steadily.
03:52You went to the Hamptons this time?
03:54Done with work?
03:55His expression stayed calm.
03:58Luna's been wanting to go to the beach for ages.
04:00There happened to be a project inspection there, so I took her along.
04:05If you want to go, I'll take you once you recover.
04:08There was a knock at the door.
04:10My attending physician walked in to discuss my treatment plan.
04:13You guys talk.
04:14Luna's probably done with her checkup by now.
04:16Darian glanced at his watch and grabbed his coat.
04:18He was always like this.
04:20Living entirely in Luna's bright, lively world.
04:24Nothing about me had ever mattered to him.
04:26The day I was discharged, Darian said he'd pick me up.
04:29I sat outside the hospital waiting for him.
04:32Beside me was a canvas bag filled with discharge papers, medical files,
04:36and a huge pile of suppressive medication.
04:39I scrolled through my phone.
04:41Luna had updated her story again.
04:447 a.m.
04:44A sunrise jogging photo.
04:46Two silhouettes from behind.
04:48One tall, one short.
04:50Caption, early birds get the sunrise.
04:538 a.m.
04:54A bathroom door fogged with steam.
04:55A smiley face drawn in the condensation.
04:58Someone's waiting for me to shower.
05:008.30 a.m.
05:01Breakfast on a hotel balcony.
05:03Two sets of utensils under warm sunlight.
05:06Mornings are better when you eat with someone.
05:07The man who said he was coming to pick me up was busy living someone else's life.
05:13At 10 o'clock, Darian's car finally arrived.
05:16The passenger side window rolled down.
05:19Luna.
05:19Hi, Bianca.
05:21Darian's dropping me off at work.
05:26Traffic was bad.
05:27Darian got out from the driver's seat and opened the back door.
05:30I said nothing and walked over carrying my medication.
05:33Luna leaned against the car window, suddenly staring at my left eye.
05:37What happened to your eye?
05:39It looks cloudy.
05:40That's so weird.
05:42She waved her fingers in front of me.
05:45Can you see this?
05:47How many fingers?
05:48She's near feast.
05:50Darian interrupted.
05:51Oh.
05:51Luna pulled her hand back.
05:53My left eye had been blind for three years.
05:55I'd told him more than ten times.
05:57He still didn't remember.
06:00Luna and opened the car door and walked over.
06:03What are all these meds?
06:04Can I look?
06:05She reached into my bag.
06:07I shifted slightly, trying to avoid her touch.
06:10The bag wasn't tied properly.
06:12The moment she touched it, pill bottles and medication boxes spilled everywhere.
06:17Pills rolled across the ground.
06:19Some disappeared into cracks between the steps.
06:21Others rolled beneath the tires.
06:23How can you not even hold onto a bag properly?
06:26Darian frowned and looked away.
06:28I crouched down, picking them up one by one.
06:31My stitches had only just been removed.
06:34The moment I bent down, pressure mounded through my cull and my vision darkened.
06:38Luna crouched too.
06:40Let me help.
06:41In her panic, she crushed several pills beneath her hand.
06:44Oops.
06:45Sorry, Bianca.
06:47Darian crouched beside her and helped her back up.
06:49They're broken.
06:50Forget it.
06:51No need to pick them up.
06:52They're not expensive.
06:53I slowly stood.
06:55Yeah, not expensive.
06:57He checked his watch and frowned.
06:59Then have her go back into the hospital and get me new ones.
07:02That's unnecessary.
07:03She was only trying to help.
07:04You can go get them yourself.
07:07Luna's going to be late for work.
07:08I'll drop her off first.
07:09I'll send someone to pick you up.
07:11Luna was already back in the passenger seat,
07:13waving at me through the window.
07:15Bye!
07:17Darian left me with nothing but his back.
07:19I thought I would cry, but my eyes stayed dry.
07:23Even my heartbeat remained calm.
07:25Like the person driving away wasn't someone I loved, just a stranger.
07:29Maybe I really didn't care anymore.
07:31When I got home, I took the partner agreement out of my bag and signed it.
07:36Then I started packing my things.
07:38One 24-inch suitcase was enough to hold eight years of my life.
07:42There was a framed photo of Darian and I on the bedside table,
07:46taken at a gala three years ago.
07:47Back then, my hair was still long, tied in a low pintail.
07:51He wore a dark suit and smiled softly.
07:53I picked up the frame and turned it over.
07:55On the back, someone had written,
07:57You're already the past.
07:59The one beside him now is me, Luna.
08:01I stared at it for a few seconds before turning it back over
08:04and placing it on top of the agreement.
08:08My phone rang.
08:09Darian.
08:10He almost never called me first.
08:12I answered.
08:14There was music in the background, like he was at a bar.
08:17Darian, about the separation agreement.
08:19He interrupted me.
08:21Luna likes your painting, Moonlight Fragments.
08:24Of course it was about her.
08:25I paused.
08:27Not for sale.
08:28She really likes it.
08:30One million.
08:31I don't like her.
08:33I'm not selling it to her.
08:35Silence hung on the other end for two seconds.
08:38How much do you want?
08:39Name your price.
08:40I laughed softly and set the phone down on the table.
08:43The bedside drawer was slightly open.
08:45I pulled it open.
08:47Inside was our marriage certificate.
08:49Luna had stuck one of her selfies directly over my face.
08:53In the picture, she smiled brightly and threw up a peace sign.
08:56My face was completely covered.
08:58I remembered the day we took that photo.
09:00I was healthy then, full of color.
09:03Darian stood beside me, smiling gently.
09:06When I found out Luna had tampered with the certificate,
09:09I confronted him about it.
09:10He barely glanced at it before promising he'd go replace it with me.
09:13It's just a photo.
09:15It's not a big deal.
09:16Luna likes joking around.
09:18Just let her have this one.
09:20Three years.
09:21He never found the time to replace it.
09:24His voice came through the phone again.
09:26Luna's sensitive.
09:27If she doesn't get what she wants, she'll keep making a fuss.
09:29Just give in and stop making things difficult for me.
09:32Since you won't sell it no matter how much I offer,
09:34then your gallery sponsorship won't be approved either.
09:37Let me know when you change your mind.
09:40Do whatever you want.
09:41I tugged at the corner of my lips.
09:43The sound of the call ending echoed through the empty room.
09:46Everything in my left eye was blurry gray,
09:49like fog that would never clear,
09:51and that familiar pain slowly crept back into my chest.
09:54When Darian first pursued me,
09:56everyone in the family thought he'd lost his mind.
09:58My unpredictable curse,
09:59my unstatable temper,
10:01my scentless beta body,
10:02none of it made me seem fit to be anyone's partner.
10:04But he said it didn't matter.
10:06He said quiet was fine.
10:07Coldness was fine.
10:09He liked all of it.
10:10For the first time in my life,
10:12I thought maybe I could rely on someone.
10:13But what happened after that?
10:15He was always busy.
10:17Said he'd spend time with me once the company stabilized.
10:19The way he looked at me changed slowly.
10:21From heartbreak whenever my curse flared up,
10:24to helplessness,
10:25to numbness.
10:26Eventually,
10:27he stopped coming altogether.
10:29He missed so many moments,
10:30and every time I told myself,
10:32next time we'll be different.
10:34Next time he'll come.
10:35Until the surgery where I almost died.
10:38As my consciousness faded,
10:40I thought,
10:40I'm probably never going to see Darian again.
10:43When I woke up,
10:44I only had one thought.
10:46I wanted to see him.
10:47So I spent 20 exhausting hours
10:49traveling to Paris,
10:50where he was supposedly on a business trip.
10:52And what I saw,
10:52was him naked in bed with Luna,
10:54holding her in his arms.
10:56That's when I finally understood.
10:58He wasn't busy.
10:59He hadn't lost the desire to share his life with someone.
11:01That someone just wasn't me anymore.
11:04It was the first time in my life
11:05I broke down like a mad woman.
11:08I slapped that girl hard
11:09and smashed everything I could get my hands on.
11:12Why are you doing this to me?
11:13Do you know I almost died?
11:15Broken glass sliced across my calf.
11:18Warm blood streamed down my leg.
11:20But I felt nothing.
11:21Do you think I'm pathetic?
11:23Is that it?
11:28Calm down.
11:29The way you look right now is ugly.
11:32I stood trembling among the shattered glass,
11:35gasping for breath.
11:3620 hours of flying.
11:38Going straight from the operating table
11:40just to see him.
11:41All of it turned to ashes in that moment.
11:44From that day on,
11:46Darian rarely came home.
11:48He muted my notifications.
11:50The only way I could know anything about his life
11:53was through Luna's posts.
11:57Three days later,
11:58I got a message from Darian.
12:00Charity gala tonight,
12:018 o'clock.
12:02Be there.
12:02He ignored my messages
12:04and still hadn't signed the separation agreement.
12:06After thinking it over,
12:07I decided to talk to him face to face.
12:09I put on a wig
12:10and slipped the agreement into my bag.
12:13The moment I entered the ballroom,
12:15I saw Darian with Luna in his arms.
12:17They were dancing in the middle of the floor.
12:19She leaned against him
12:20while he lowered his head to say something,
12:22smiling softly.
12:23I stood there watching for a moment
12:25before walking in.
12:26You froze Bionna's gallery funding because of me?
12:29Do you think she'll be upset?
12:31Luna whispered in his ear brightly.
12:33She starved for affection,
12:34a little comforting,
12:35and she'll get over it.
12:35Without missing a step,
12:37Darian patted her waist lightly.
12:38I stood at the edge of the dance floor.
12:40People nearby glanced between me
12:42and the couple dancing.
12:43Isn't that Darian's beta?
12:44Haven't seen her in forever.
12:46Is she here to catch him cheating?
12:48With how biased Darian is towards that girl?
12:50Who even knows who the real third party is?
12:52Look at her.
12:53Did you hear her?
12:55The song ended.
12:57Why are you here?
12:58Darian saw me and let go of Luna.
13:00Luna looped herself around his arm
13:02and smiled sweetly at me.
13:03I need to talk to you.
13:05I immediately understood.
13:06She was the one who'd sent the message.
13:08I looked at Darian.
13:09Luna tugged on his arm.
13:12Darian, the next dance is starting,
13:14he frowned.
13:15Whatever it is,
13:16wait until this dance is over.
13:17Suddenly, the lights flickered,
13:18then went out.
13:21The crowd erupted into noise.
13:23In the darkness,
13:24a hand suddenly yanked hard at my wig,
13:26pain ripping across my scalp.
13:28Then the lights came back on.
13:30I looked down,
13:31my wig lay on the floor.
13:33All that remained on my head
13:35was a layer of short stubble
13:36and red scars left behind by the curse.
13:44The entire ballroom fell silent.
13:46Eyes turned towards me
13:47from every direction.
13:49That's horrifying.
13:50No wonder Darian never brings her
13:52anywhere anymore.
13:52If it were me,
13:52I'd feel sick just looking at her.
13:54Is that cursed backlash?
13:55Is it contagious?
13:56A camera flash went off.
13:57Someone had raised a phone
13:59and started taking pictures.
14:01Luna smiled faintly.
14:02She crouched down,
14:04picked up the wig,
14:05and held it out to me.
14:07Biana, I'm sorry.
14:09It was too dark.
14:10I didn't see.
14:11I stared blankly without taking it.
14:14Darian walked over,
14:16helped me up,
14:16and pulled me outside.
14:18Bald,
14:19dragged through the entire ballroom
14:21under everyone's eyes.
14:22The whispers slowly faded behind us.
14:24Neither of us spoke.
14:26My mind was empty.
14:28My hands shook uncontrollably.
14:30I hadn't thought about those dark years
14:31in a very long time.
14:33Isolation.
14:34Vomiting.
14:35Seeing my bald reflection in the mirror
14:37while everyone whispered,
14:38stay away from her.
14:39And now the person I once loved most
14:41had personally shoved me
14:43back into that hell.
14:45When we got home,
14:46Darian poured me a glass of water.
14:48I'll have all the photos and videos
14:49from tonight deleted.
14:50I said nothing.
14:52You don't need to think
14:53too much about it.
14:54I'll make sure nobody spreads them.
14:56I blinked slowly.
14:57Including Luna.
14:58She was the one who texted me.
15:01He frowned.
15:02The lights were out.
15:03She couldn't see.
15:04She's not that kind of person.
15:06Do you really not see
15:07how cool she is?
15:08Or do you just refuse to see?
15:09The great head of the Blackwood family
15:11can't possibly be too blind
15:12to see through something this obvious.
15:14The living room fell silent
15:16for several seconds.
15:17Then his phone rang.
15:19Luna's teary voice leaked
15:20through the speaker
15:21clearly in the quiet room.
15:23Darian,
15:24is Bianca mad at me?
15:26I really didn't mean it.
15:28I'll apologize tomorrow, okay?
15:30Please don't be angry with me.
15:32Don't cry.
15:33No one's blaming you.
15:34He hung up and looked at me.
15:35She's upset.
15:36I need to go check on her.
15:37Didn't you say
15:38you had something to tell me?
15:39We'll talk properly
15:40when I get back.
15:41He walked to the door,
15:42changing his shoes
15:43and grabbing his keys.
15:44Darian.
15:45He stopped.
15:47You always say
15:48you'll come back
15:48and talk to me.
15:49But when have you
15:50ever actually come back?
15:51He clearly had
15:52no intention of staying.
15:53I'll be back in an hour.
15:55Without even turning around,
15:56Darian left.
15:57I walked into the bedroom
15:58and placed the separation agreement
16:00beneath the picture frame.
16:02Then I pulled out my suitcase
16:03and called a cab to the airport.
16:05At one in the morning,
16:06I boarded a flight to London.
16:08Three hours had already passed
16:09since Darian said
16:10he'd come back to talk.
16:11As the plane began taxiing,
16:13a message from him popped up
16:15just before I shut my phone off.
16:17What's the meaning
16:17of that agreement?
16:19I didn't reply.
16:20I turned off my phone.
16:23Darian.
16:23Let's never appear
16:25in each other's lives again.
16:26The plane landed at Heathrow.
16:28When turning on,
16:29the phone vibrate
16:31for several minutes
16:31before stopping.
16:33I didn't look.
16:36Past customs.
16:38Collected luggage.
16:39Took a taxi.
16:41The hotel was booked in advance.
16:44The front desk handed over
16:45the room key.
16:46I took it.
16:47Elevator up.
16:48Opened the door.
16:50Put down the suitcase.
16:53Sat by the bedside.
16:57The phone vibrated again.
17:00I picked it up.
17:02It's from Darian Blackwood.
17:03Dozens.
17:04Explain the agreement.
17:07Said we'd talk.
17:08Where did you go?
17:10Don't push it.
17:11There's a limit
17:11to throwing tantrums.
17:13Bianca, are you serious?
17:15I didn't scroll up.
17:19Locked screen.
17:20Threw it on the nightstand.
17:22The next day went to
17:23Royal Free Hospital.
17:25The attending doctor
17:26was a beta.
17:27In his 40s.
17:28Speaking at a moderate pace.
17:30Mrs. Reed,
17:31Dr. Lynn has briefed me.
17:32We need a full workup
17:33before the purification protocol.
17:35Odds?
17:36Better than last time.
17:37But the vision loss
17:38in your left eye
17:39is permanent.
17:40He glanced at me.
17:41Didn't say more.
17:42The nurse took me
17:43to handle admission.
17:44Fill out forms.
17:45The emergency contact
17:47act field was blank.
17:49Who should we put here?
17:51No one.
17:52I'm alone.
17:54She didn't press further.
17:55Left it blank.
17:56The ward was cramped.
17:58The window faced
17:58a busy street.
17:59The sound of traffic
18:00was faint.
18:01Quieter than New York.
18:03The phone rang.
18:04It was Darian.
18:05I picked up.
18:06I asked Dr. Lynn.
18:07You went to London?
18:08His voice was hoary.
18:09The background was wind noise
18:11from the airport runway.
18:12He was probably standing
18:13on the tar pack.
18:14Darian, sign the papers.
18:16You flew alone
18:17for the purification?
18:18Do you even know
18:19your condition?
18:20Then when will you sign?
18:22Bianca, we are really
18:23doing this?
18:26Where do you think
18:26we should be?
18:28Fine.
18:29I'll have Luna apologize.
18:31I admit I neglected you,
18:32but you don't have
18:33to take it this far.
18:34I don't need it.
18:36Bianca...
18:36I'm hanging up.
18:37Sign the papers.
18:39I didn't wait for him
18:40to say anything more.
18:42Turned off.
18:43Stuffed the phone
18:43under the pillow.
18:44The phone vibrated
18:45under the pillow once,
18:46then again.
18:47I didn't take it out.
18:49After hanging up the phone,
18:51Darian sat in the study
18:52of Blackwood Estate
18:52for a long time.
18:53He sank into the leather chair,
18:55trying to sort out
18:56his thoughts.
18:57Why did Bianca want
18:58to dissolve the partnership?
18:59Because of Luna?
19:00Because he didn't accompany
19:01her on the full moon night?
19:02Because he was always busy?
19:04He felt these were
19:05all small matters.
19:06He hadn't marked
19:07anyone else.
19:08Hadn't committed
19:09domestic violence.
19:10Hadn't frozen
19:11her credit card.
19:12He just...
19:13didn't care as much anymore.
19:15Right.
19:16Just didn't care as much.
19:17In the first two years
19:18of marriage,
19:19he sent her iMessages
19:20every day.
19:21Asking if she had eaten,
19:22asking about the degree
19:23of curse flare-ups,
19:24asking if she missed him.
19:25Later messages
19:26became fewer and fewer.
19:28Not intentional,
19:29really had nothing to say.
19:30He felt this wasn't
19:31his fault.
19:32Isn't that how
19:33feelings are?
19:34Passion cools,
19:35novelty exhausts.
19:36Who can still be
19:37like the honeymoon period
19:38after eight years
19:38of marriage?
19:39He picked up his phone,
19:40opened her chat box.
19:42Dense green bubbles,
19:43all sent by her.
19:44The last time he replied
19:45to her was half a year ago.
19:47He didn't know
19:47when he had developed
19:48this habit.
19:49Just didn't want to look.
19:50Her messages were
19:51always those few lines.
19:52Did you eat?
19:53Going into isolation.
19:54Can you come home?
19:55The doorbell rang.
19:56He placed his phone
19:57face down on the table
19:58and stood up.
20:00Two housekeepers
20:01in gray uniforms
20:02from Beta.
20:03Miss Reed arranged
20:04for us to clear out
20:05her belongings.
20:06Clothes, shoes,
20:07personal items,
20:09all to be donated.
20:10Darian stood at the door
20:11stunned for a few seconds.
20:13She sent you?
20:14Yes.
20:15Ma'am scheduled it
20:16last week.
20:17The two aunts
20:17pushed the cart,
20:18opened the walk-in closet,
20:19taking down her clothes
20:20one by one.
20:21Silk nightgowns,
20:22cashmere coats,
20:23scarves.
20:24He recognized that
20:25off-white Max Mara coat.
20:27He had accompanied
20:27her to buy it.
20:29Three years ago,
20:29when she said she wanted
20:30to go sketching in Iceland,
20:32he helped her pick it.
20:33And those Manolo Blanick
20:34flat shoes,
20:35her feet were small,
20:36hard to buy.
20:37These were found
20:37after browsing seven stores.
20:39He watched all her things
20:40being folded,
20:41stacked into black
20:41recycling bags.
20:43Wait.
20:45I'll buy these.
20:46The aunts left.
20:47The door closed,
20:48the house was dead silent.
20:50He sat on the sofa,
20:51holding that coat.
20:52The phone vibrated again.
20:54Bianca,
20:54I want that T-bone steak
20:56you make tonight.
20:56He looked at that message,
20:58didn't reply.
20:59A few minutes later
21:00it vibrated again.
21:01Darian,
21:02are you busy?
21:03He placed the phone
21:04on the coffee table,
21:05didn't touch it.
21:06The sky darkened.
21:07He didn't turn on the lights,
21:08sat in the darkness
21:09for a long time.
21:10Later he stood up,
21:11walked into the study.
21:12The safe was hidden
21:13behind the bookshelf.
21:15He entered the password,
21:16her birthday.
21:17Pulled it open,
21:18on top was a Moleskine journal.
21:21He opened it.
21:22The first page
21:23had a movie ticket stub
21:24pasted on it.
21:24La La Land
21:25a date was their first date.
21:26She wrote beside it.
21:27He was 15 minutes late,
21:28but his hair was flying.
21:30When he ran in,
21:31I forgave him.
21:32The second page
21:32was a Polaroid.
21:33She wore a knit hat,
21:35face red from cold.
21:36She wrote,
21:37Fourth purification today.
21:38He said I look cute bald.
21:39Liar,
21:40but I want to believe him.
21:41Third page,
21:42fourth page,
21:43fifth page.
21:44Every page was her writing.
21:45Characters small,
21:46crowded together.
21:47Recording every treatment,
21:49recording the paths
21:49he walked with her,
21:50recording things he said.
21:51When I get better,
21:52we go to Tromso
21:53for the Aurora.
21:54You promised so many times.
21:56I wrote it here
21:57so you can't lie.
21:58The last page of the journal
21:59had an airplane ticket
22:00tucked in it.
22:01Destination,
22:02Tromso.
22:03Next to it was a sticky note.
22:04In her handwriting,
22:05when I get better.
22:06When you have time,
22:07let's go.
22:08Don't stand me up again.
22:10He had simply forgotten.
22:12He closed the journal,
22:13hugged it to his chest.
22:14The journal was small,
22:16the cowhide cover
22:17pressing against his palm.
22:18Those characters
22:19showed through the paper,
22:20carrying an aged warmth.
22:22He only now realized
22:23she wrote so much,
22:24and he never looked once.
22:25He picked up his phone,
22:27booked a flight to London.
22:29The purification ritual
22:31was scheduled
22:31for two weeks later.
22:32The days in the hospital
22:34were very quiet.
22:35Every morning blood draw,
22:36every afternoon examination.
22:38Messages from Darian
22:39kept popping up on my phone.
22:41I occasionally swept a glance,
22:43didn't reply.
22:44He asked which hospital I was at.
22:45I deleted the chat box.
22:47He said he flew over.
22:48I still didn't reply.
22:50The day before the ritual,
22:51the nurse came
22:52for preoperative education.
22:53When signing the informed consent form,
22:55my hand holding the pen
22:56shook a bit.
22:57Turns out,
22:58not needing to wait
22:59for anyone's signature
23:00wasn't as hard as imagined.
23:01That night there was
23:02a torrential downpour.
23:03I slept early,
23:04woken in the middle
23:05of the night by knocking.
23:06Opened the door.
23:07The corridor light was blinding.
23:09Darian stood in the doorway.
23:11Shirt wrinkled,
23:12hair messy,
23:12carrying a rimawa.
23:13I called a dozen hospitals
23:15to find you.
23:19Signed?
23:19I won't sign!
23:22Bianca,
23:22I don't think our marriage
23:23is beyond repair.
23:24And I don't buy
23:26that you feel nothing for me.
23:28I couldn't be bothered
23:29to waste words anymore.
23:31Darian,
23:31you overestimate yourself.
23:33And you underestimate me.
23:36There's nothing left to talk about
23:38except the divorce.
23:40I'm sorry for neglecting you,
23:42Bianca.
23:43It won't happen again.
23:46You never used to think
23:47you were wrong.
23:48I was always
23:49the unreasonable one.
23:51The past is the past.
23:53The past was too long.
23:55I closed the door.
23:56He stood in the corridor
23:57and didn't leave.
23:58I turned off the lights
23:59and lay back on the bed.
24:01After a long time,
24:01I heard footsteps
24:02gradually fading away.
24:05The next day
24:06was the surgery.
24:07Before anesthesia,
24:08Dr. Chin came in to check.
24:10The person outside?
24:11Family?
24:12No.
24:13The anesthesiologist
24:14began pushing the medicine.
24:16A chill spread from my arm.
24:17I closed my eyes.
24:19When I woke,
24:20the sky was completely dark.
24:21My throat was dry and painful,
24:23like swallowing sandpaper.
24:25The nurse pulled out a tube,
24:26saying in accented English,
24:27surgery was successful.
24:29I nodded.
24:30Then saw a person
24:31sitting by the bedside.
24:33Darian sat in the chair,
24:34elbow propped on the bed rail,
24:36asleep.
24:36Coat draped over his legs,
24:38hair messy,
24:38blue stubble growing on his chin.
24:40Every time before in surgery,
24:42after hovering between life and death,
24:44I always hoped the first person
24:45I saw upon opening my eyes
24:46would be him.
24:47But every time I woke,
24:48there was only the pale ceiling.
24:50Now that he came,
24:51there was dead water in my heart.
24:52I looked at him for a few seconds,
24:55then turned to look out the window.
24:56The London night was deep blue,
24:58without stars.
24:59He woke,
25:00raising his head.
25:01How do you feel?
25:02Doctor said it worked.
25:04He didn't mention last night.
25:05Water?
25:06Didn't mention the agreement,
25:07didn't mention Luna.
25:08As if he just happened to pass by,
25:10dropping by to take a look.
25:12When are you leaving?
25:13I don't want to see you.
25:15When you're better.
25:16He reached out wanting to hold my hand.
25:18I withdrew it under the covers.
25:19I know you're serious this time.
25:21I didn't speak.
25:23I wasn't good enough before.
25:25Go back.
25:26I'm tired.
25:28No energy to argue.
25:30He sat there unmoving.
25:31For a long time,
25:32the nurse came in to change dressings.
25:34Only then did he stand up to make way.
25:36The nurse left.
25:37He sat back down.
25:39I didn't look at him again.
25:41The third day post-surgery,
25:43the wound still hurt,
25:44but lighter than last time.
25:45Darian came every day,
25:47arriving in the morning,
25:48leaving at night.
25:49The nurse thought he was my husband.
25:50I didn't have the strength to correct her.
25:52The fifth day afternoon,
25:54the ward door was pushed open.
25:56Luna stood in the doorway.
25:57Light colored coat,
25:58long hair loose,
25:59eye sockets red.
26:00That strong strawberry pheromone
26:02instantly drowned out
26:02the disinfectant smell.
26:04She looked at Darian.
26:05Darian.
26:06Darian stood up from the sofa,
26:07frowning.
26:08How did you find this place?
26:10Asked around everywhere.
26:11Darian,
26:12come back with me,
26:13okay?
26:13Darian didn't move.
26:15I called you so many times.
26:16You wouldn't answer.
26:18I went to the house.
26:19You weren't there.
26:20I've been here for days.
26:21Just waiting.
26:22I messed up.
26:23I know.
26:24Tell me what to fix.
26:25Enough.
26:25He interrupted.
26:27Luna was stunned.
26:28You know exactly what you did.
26:29I didn't say anything before doesn't mean I didn't know.
26:32Her lips trembled.
26:33I was for you.
26:35Darian,
26:36I love you.
26:37Out.
26:39You weren't like this.
26:40You used to protect me.
26:41Did she brainwash you?
26:42Is she forcing you?
26:43Darian picked up his phone,
26:45dialed.
26:46Come in.
26:47Take her out.
26:48Make sure she doesn't come back.
26:49As Luna was pulled out,
26:50she was still looking back.
26:52Her crying voice echoing in the corridor,
26:54gradually disappearing.
26:55The ward returned to silence.
26:57Darian stood with his back to me.
26:59After a while,
27:00he turned around,
27:00sat back in the chair by the bed.
27:02He said,
27:03Sorry did we wake you.
27:05Get some rest.
27:06I looked at the ceiling,
27:08didn't speak.
27:09A week later,
27:11Dr. Chen said still needed observation.
27:13But the left eye is gone.
27:15I know.
27:16Falling asleep,
27:17in the ward only the sound of instruments ticking.
27:19I turned my head to take a look.
27:21Darian was still there.
27:22He was curled on that sofa a size too short.
27:25MacBook on his knees,
27:26screen lit,
27:27but he wasn't looking at it.
27:28Awake.
27:29I ignored,
27:30opened my phone.
27:31Hundreds of messages.
27:33All from Darian.
27:34Every message I sent before the surgery,
27:36he had all made up for.
27:37I'm here.
27:38I'm sorry.
27:39I should have been there.
27:41I'm here now.
27:42I looked at a few,
27:43averted my gaze.
27:44You don't have to do this.
27:46I want to.
27:48Darian,
27:49it's pointless.
27:50You don't have to accept it.
27:53I just need to do it.
27:54He looked at me,
27:55eyes full of red veins,
27:56lips chapped.
27:57He closed the computer,
27:58put it back in his pocket.
28:00I turned over,
28:01back to him.
28:02The curtains weren't drawn tight.
28:03A line of light fell on the back of my hand.
28:06A month later discharged.
28:08I booked a ticket to Nice,
28:10France.
28:11The day of departure,
28:12Darian stood at the hospital entrance.
28:14I'll go with you.
28:16No need.
28:17You shouldn't be alone.
28:19I was alone before.
28:20He didn't speak.
28:21I hailed a taxi.
28:23He stood in place,
28:24wind filling his coat hem.
28:25I didn't look back.
28:27I went to a small town on the Côte d'Azur.
28:29Phone on,
28:30messages poured in.
28:31Darian's,
28:32dozens,
28:33hundreds.
28:33Did you land?
28:34Is the place safe?
28:36Did you pack enough meds?
28:37Weather,
28:38cold there.
28:39Did you eat?
28:40Just reply so I know you're safe.
28:42Half an hour later,
28:43another,
28:44it's cold there.
28:45Wear layers.
28:46I didn't reply.
28:47He started sending gallery exhibition invitations to my email.
28:51Paris,
28:51Milan,
28:52Berlin.
28:52He said his friends in the art circle could help me hold a solo exhibition.
28:56He said my art deserved to be seen.
28:58Reply,
28:59not interested.
29:00This isn't compensation.
29:01Your art is genuinely good.
29:03He sent another contract.
29:05A sponsorship agreement from some international art fund.
29:08Is this your money or the family offices?
29:10He was silent for 10 minutes.
29:12You know everything.
29:13I don't need anything from you anymore,
29:15Darian.
29:16The phone rang.
29:17I picked up.
29:18Then,
29:18he asked.
29:20Then what do you want?
29:21Nothing.
29:22Just sign the papers and disappear.
29:24Bianca,
29:24wherever you go,
29:25I'll follow.
29:26I'll prove I was wrong.
29:27I love you.
29:28Follow me to London,
29:29Paris,
29:30Berlin.
29:31Buy a house there.
29:32I'll move to the next city.
29:33Buy up all of Europe.
29:34I'll go to the Americas,
29:36Africa,
29:36Antarctica.
29:37I won't spend my life hating you,
29:39but I will spend every second of it showing you I don't love you anymore.
29:42You say you want to prove you were wrong.
29:44I'll prove I never look back.
29:46I didn't wait for him to say anything more.
29:49Hung up.
29:49Later,
29:50he really did follow.
29:51When I was in Paris,
29:52he stayed at a hotel on the other side of the Seine.
29:54I moved to Lyon.
29:55He moved too.
29:56I stayed in Kyoto for a month.
29:58He rented an apartment nearby.
30:00We never spoke.
30:01Occasionally seeing each other from afar on the street,
30:04he would stop,
30:05standing in place watching me walk past.
30:08In early winter,
30:09I went to Chamonix at the foot of the Alps.
30:11The snow was heavy,
30:13the road slippery.
30:14I fell,
30:15skinning my knee.
30:16When getting up,
30:16caught a glimpse of a figure in a dark gray coat at the street corner.
30:20He didn't come over.
30:21That night the snow stopped.
30:23I sat at the window of the wooden house.
30:25My phone lit up.
30:26His text.
30:27Back then I didn't understand.
30:28Now I do.
30:30Moonlight outside the window shone on the snow.
30:32Very bright,
30:33but couldn't sink down.
30:34I looked at that message for a long time,
30:36typed,
30:37Darian,
30:38stop appearing in each other's lives.
30:39He didn't reply.
30:41The next morning,
30:42the front desk handed me a letter without a stamp.
30:44My name was written on the envelope,
30:46the handwriting his.
30:47I took it to the room,
30:48placed it on the table,
30:50didn't open it.
30:51Through the envelope,
30:52could feel the paper inside.
30:53Probably four or five pages written.
30:56Pulled open the curtains,
30:57the snow had cleared,
30:58sky bright.
30:59The street was clean,
31:00he wasn't there.
31:01He went back.
31:02In spring,
31:03I received an email from the lawyer.
31:05I booked a ticket back to New York.
31:07He was already waiting.
31:08Gray Brioni suit,
31:10neat hairstyle,
31:10person a bit thinner,
31:12jawline sharper.
31:12We stood face to face.
31:14Let's go.
31:15We sat side by side before the notary signing.
31:18The staff member checked,
31:19stamped.
31:20All set.
31:21Bianca.
31:22I looked at him.
31:23He opened his mouth,
31:25Adam's apple rolling.
31:26In the end only said one sentence.
31:28Can I hug you?
31:30Voice very low,
31:31the trailing tone swallowed by the echo in the hall.
31:33He stood before me,
31:34both hands hanging at his sides,
31:36not raised,
31:37like a person who had lost all chips.
31:38I looked at his eyes,
31:40the corner of his eye read.
31:41Three seconds.
31:42Maybe five.
31:43I didn't answer,
31:45turned around,
31:46didn't look back.
31:47Behind was very quiet.
31:48He didn't chase,
31:49nor did he call my name again.
31:51Pushed open the door,
31:52the light outside was dazzling.
31:54Left I couldn't see,
31:55right I was stung sore by the light.
31:57I returned to that small town in the south of France,
32:00stayed for a long time.
32:01Snow on the mountaintop hadn't melted.
32:03Flowers at the foot of the mountain bloomed into a sea.
32:06Sunlight outside the window was dazzling.
32:08I remembered a long time ago,
32:10someone said they would take me to see the aurora.
32:12In that journal was tucked an airplane ticket,
32:14destination Norway,
32:15the date blank.
32:16Not going.
32:17Moonlight cannot sink into the deep sea.
32:19It shines on the sea surface,
32:21bright in one piece,
32:23shattered in another piece.
32:24Looks very close,
32:25actually very far.
32:26Just like some people,
32:28you thought they loved you,
32:29but they were just passing by.
32:31But it doesn't matter.
32:32The sky will always brighten.
32:33The sky will always brighten.
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