- 1 day ago
This Is Poly Season 1 Episode 5
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Previously on This Is Polly.
00:02Davis proposed.
00:03Yeah.
00:04It's so good to see you.
00:05I miss you so much.
00:07I miss you.
00:09How are you feeling about deepening your relationship with Davis?
00:13I can definitely see that I haven't been putting in that effort.
00:16Whenever you asked me to come hang out, I thought it might be a little awkward.
00:20You know, this might be the second longest conversation we've ever had.
00:23You want to explain why your face is being posted in a are we dating the same guy website?
00:28I was f***ing bad, no doubt.
00:29You have never f***ing expected me or our relationship.
00:33We actually are doing a commitment ceremony.
00:36We need to touch on Lee.
00:38Have these emotional strings that are tied to another human being that's not my primary partner.
00:42You have to decide what you want.
00:44I am in anxiety and stress right now because Nita is not able to manage herself in the parameters that
00:50we've set.
00:51I apologize.
00:52Please forgive me.
00:54Makeup sex is always the best, right?
00:58Ah!
01:01We having a girl.
01:03I feel like less of a woman because I haven't been able to give us a baby.
01:07Me and Yahweh have been trying to have a baby going on five years.
01:12Let's try some different avenues and see what we can make happen.
01:16We having a baby go on time.
01:22Find a keeper.
01:25Somebody thought when they left that girl when they kerbped you long.
01:30Whoo.
01:32You ready?
01:33You ready?
01:33No, I'm ready.
01:34I'm ready?
01:35Yeah.
01:35You don't look ready.
01:37I am ready.
01:38You're gonna get some heat on you today.
01:39Oh, gosh.
01:40I don't care about no heat.
01:42I want to see some alligators.
01:44Y'all and Marty has been having a hard time lately.
01:47She was complaining about, you know, not having time with me.
01:49And so I decided to do something special for her.
01:52There you go, right there.
01:54Oh, see, I wish I could touch it.
01:57You want to touch it?
01:58Yeah, that looks so cool.
02:00I am so surprised he brought me to the gator park.
02:04I've been dying to see some gators since I moved here.
02:07I don't know why, but I, like, am fascinated with them.
02:11Jay, so you get to feed them?
02:13Yeah.
02:14So you're just going to walk down that way.
02:15The sign that says Alligate Pond.
02:16That's where the big guys are.
02:18OK.
02:18All right.
02:19Come over here.
02:20Come on.
02:20There you go.
02:22That's so cool.
02:23Wow.
02:24Here, I got more for y'all.
02:26Oh, my goodness.
02:28They hungry.
02:30Oh.
02:31In a poly relationships, you do have situations where you mess up.
02:35So you go out your way to try to make things right with whoever
02:38that queen is.
02:39So it's really feeling good that she's happy.
02:42I love it.
02:43I want to go, like, on the swamp.
02:45I just need a lot of bugs for it.
02:48I know it's been kind of rough, you know, lately.
02:51But I just want you to know I ain't forget about you.
02:53You know, I love you so much.
02:55I love you, too.
02:55You know, you deserve this and more, to be honest with you.
02:59I really appreciate it.
03:01Our date was long overdue.
03:03I've been asking for this date for a long time.
03:05So I think he's really trying to put in more effort.
03:08And so I'm just excited that he brought me.
03:10I think he's hearing me out.
03:13We're in a good place at this moment.
03:14So I'm really happy about that.
03:25You excited?
03:26Oh, yeah.
03:27I know.
03:29I feel like time has really passed, you know?
03:32This is going to be my fourth.
03:33So I think I'm going to, you know, going to be my last one.
03:37Can't wait to see what she looks like.
03:39And just hold her and feed her and stuff.
03:41Oh, spot for me.
03:43Oh, sexy face.
03:46Oh, my goodness.
03:47Looking like a little Spice doll.
03:49Oh, I'm tired, guys.
03:51Well, you handle it with sexiness.
03:53Thank goodness.
03:54You are so hilarious.
03:55Yeah, you tease.
03:57You better come now.
03:58Hey.
03:59Hey.
04:00There you are.
04:01Hi, everybody.
04:02How are you?
04:03What did you do?
04:04Go to the gym?
04:05It's been a long time.
04:07I've been busy.
04:08So what you do?
04:09Yeah, what you been up to?
04:11So I do have a surprise.
04:16And it is a new addition.
04:19You're pregnant?
04:21That's too easy.
04:22Right?
04:23You know?
04:26I mean, I would hope she wasn't throwing at me, but maybe.
04:35Oh, wow.
04:36Oh, my God.
04:39I knew it.
04:40I knew it.
04:41I knew it.
04:43I don't want to say it's a power move.
04:45However, she definitely likes to go over the top.
04:48And so she went over the top.
04:50She definitely knows how to win them over.
04:51That's for sure.
04:51So everybody's going to be pretty shocked
04:53that I come walking in the house with this on my arm.
04:56This tattoo, that's just how much I love him.
04:59And I just wanted his face on me.
05:01When he gets on your nerves, what you going to do
05:04when you look on the top?
05:06Take a permanent marker and just scratch all over it.
05:09Oh, you know what to do?
05:11The tattoo was amazing.
05:12Wow.
05:12This is the greatest gift a queen can give to somebody
05:16because it's a whole different level of commitment.
05:19But, you know, that tattoo might have set off something.
05:22You stepped it up.
05:23That's for sure.
05:24All the crystals always full of surprises.
05:27Got that thing for life.
05:28Now you done started something.
05:29Oh, she definitely wanted to one up me.
05:31If it's going to be a competitive thing, then I'm here.
05:35All right.
05:48Oh, good morning.
05:54Awesome.
05:58Trent is gone right now on a business trip.
06:00And that gives Nita and I time together for just her and I,
06:05which doesn't happen very often.
06:07What did you think about last night?
06:09I was going to ask you the same thing.
06:14No comment.
06:15You go first.
06:15I asked first.
06:16I thought it was better.
06:19It was different.
06:20Different.
06:20OK, that's a good word.
06:21Different.
06:24So the sex between us is great.
06:27Even after three years, it's amazing.
06:28However, she don't .
06:31We need to cross that threshold.
06:35Like, it's been three years.
06:36It's time for you to cross over.
06:37Like, I've been patient.
06:38And, you know, I think she can do it.
06:40It's been a bigger hurdle than I thought it was going to be, though.
06:42I think in order for me to do any more than I normally do, I kind of need to be
06:52in control.
06:56No.
06:56You'll still be on the bottom.
06:58You'll still be on the bottom, even if you're, even if that is, yeah.
07:00Yep.
07:01Mm-mm.
07:01Yeah-ha.
07:02That was my revelation last night.
07:04You know you can't drive.
07:05Not my car.
07:08This is funny.
07:11I'm glad you think so.
07:12All of this processing with Nita, like, how do I get to this point?
07:15Or what might my blocks be?
07:17And I know some of my blocks could be from my religious upbringing and conditioning and all of that.
07:23But is that all it is?
07:25You know?
07:25Or am I just not gay?
07:27The other really big thing that we need to talk about is the ceremony.
07:32I was looking up dresses to see what we might want to wear.
07:40Are you on, this is where you were looking for dresses?
07:43On Amazon?
07:45No.
07:46No, we're not doing that.
07:48What do you mean?
07:48I mean, what I meant to say was...
07:51Where do you want to get dresses from?
07:53From a shop.
07:54What do you mean?
07:55You're talking wedding dress shop?
07:59What?
08:00Yeah.
08:00What?
08:02I was just thinking...
08:04We are like way far apart right now.
08:06Okay.
08:07I was just thinking like...
08:10Ceremony, party.
08:12You're talking big, elaborate.
08:15Isle, wedding dress, the whole nine yards.
08:17Like a whole, whole big ceremony.
08:20If we had a little person, I'd have a flower girl.
08:22Hold on.
08:23When I seen the ring, I heard instant was a proposal for the rest of your life.
08:27So, all of my views on the forever are all very traditional.
08:32They are very traditional.
08:33As far as the obligations that go along with them.
08:34All of the things.
08:35What are you envisioning?
08:37I mean, the whole kit and caboodle.
08:39Getting to experience what it's like to have a wedding and be a part of it.
08:44Like you want this to replace something you never had.
08:48You want this to be your wedding.
08:49This is probably the closest thing that I'll ever get to a wedding.
08:52But I don't know that that's what we were offering was a wedding.
08:56I had my wedding 36 years ago.
09:00It was a really, really traditional marriage and our church growing up.
09:05I think we're on separate pages with this.
09:09Clearly, we are clearly on separate pages.
09:11But this isn't a wedding.
09:12That's very confusing in my mind.
09:14That hurts me when you say that.
09:15It feels like this is going to be a really big push and pull as we're preparing and planning for
09:23this ceremony.
09:24She wants the big, floofy, whole wedding dress veil.
09:27And there's emotions.
09:29I think we need to have some deep conversations so that we all get on the same page.
09:33Okay.
09:34Trent and I want to commit to this thruple relationship.
09:38But in her mind, she still has the fairytale dream.
09:41So let's table this for a minute.
09:43And when he gets home, we need to have like a sit down.
09:46Talk about what exactly is happening.
09:49Absolutely.
09:49Okay.
09:52Coming up.
09:53I just can't .
09:56I'm not going to let you sit there gaslight me thinking like I'm the cause of this when I'm not.
10:03You are dating Becca.
10:04Jacob's dating Becca.
10:05Now, what happens if Becca falls in love with another person?
10:09We're staying positive about it, but we don't know the outcome.
10:12And that's the scary part.
10:14It's really a trying time for everybody.
10:16We've never been to something like this.
10:18Yeah.
10:27Hey, buddy. How's it going, buddy?
10:29How are you?
10:30Good. How you been?
10:31I've been doing good, dude. I've been doing good.
10:33Alex, I would say we're definitely close.
10:35We've been friends for a couple years now.
10:37And me and Alex can talk about pretty much anything.
10:39Alex supports my transition specifically.
10:41He's always been there for me.
10:43I don't think he truly knows what it means to be polyamorous.
10:47We've definitely kind of brushed the surface, but never like, you know, in depth.
10:53I had never been to Mexico before.
10:55So that was really fun.
10:57We had a good time.
10:58Obviously, you know, proposed to Becca while I was there.
11:02And I'm guessing she said yes.
11:04She said yes.
11:05What did Jacob think?
11:07Jacob was excited for us.
11:09Tell me he's not going to walk her down the aisle.
11:11No, he's not going to walk her down the aisle.
11:13Because they're legally married.
11:15Yes, right.
11:15Exactly.
11:16And we're in America.
11:17He can't do that.
11:18Can't do that.
11:19But you're sharing her.
11:20Yeah, so for me, like I don't view humans as something that you can share.
11:27Like I don't own Becca.
11:30And so the sharing is not, I don't even like think about it as that.
11:35How do you think about it?
11:37I mean, as far as polyamory, polycule, whatever, I don't get it.
11:42Obviously, I'm polyamorous, you know, and being polyamorous, we believe that you can be in multiple loving relationships at the
11:49same time.
11:50Couldn't be me.
11:52Right.
11:52Couldn't be me.
11:54To share a woman?
11:55I'm not evolved enough for that.
11:57I'm too jealous.
11:58I don't even share my chicken fingers.
12:00My thing is like, okay, so y'all are all living in the same house.
12:04Yeah.
12:05Like, which is amazing because-
12:07Sex is happening though.
12:08Like, sex is happening.
12:09Right, yeah, yeah.
12:09How are you that evolved?
12:10Please help me out because I can't even think about a guy hitting on my girl at the bar.
12:15They're having sex in the same house.
12:17Like, it's going to get loud.
12:18People are going to hear it.
12:19Like, you go downstairs to get some water and they're downstairs getting it on.
12:23You don't think you might hear that?
12:25And you just, what?
12:26You're going to drink your water and go back upstairs?
12:27Like, nah.
12:28You're busting in that room, bro.
12:29What are you doing?
12:31We believe and we feel that there is more love to go around.
12:35So you're at the point where you are dating Becca, Jacob's dating Becca.
12:39Now, what happens if you get another girlfriend or Becca brings in another guy?
12:44Like, help me understand how you and Jacob are going to feel if Becca falls in love with another person.
12:50So just to speak to a guy hitting on, like, your girl at the bar, I'm like, yeah, my girl's
12:54great.
12:55Yeah.
12:55You know, I would, yeah, you should get to meet her and get to know her.
12:58She's got a lot to offer.
12:59You know, that's how I see it.
13:01Right.
13:03In monogamy, you're looking for the one.
13:05And so what does the one kind of bring us, right?
13:07That scarcity mindset.
13:09It's like in polyamory, we're not looking for the one.
13:11You're not looking for one man, one woman.
13:12We're not looking for the one.
13:13You know what I mean?
13:14The religious aspect is out the window.
13:16There's no being afraid that, like, Becca's not afraid I'm going to leave her because I meet somebody I connect
13:21with.
13:21So it's a different kind of unconditional love.
13:23Absolutely.
13:24Yeah.
13:24Yeah.
13:24Okay.
13:25Definitely.
13:25I think he's cool with you.
13:27You're cool with him.
13:28Y'all live together.
13:30And like, do y'all get beers?
13:32Like, is it like, like, are y'all friends?
13:34Do you kind of act as roommates?
13:36Like, how does that, how do you navigate that world?
13:39Like, he's also the husband of your fiancee.
13:42You're engaged to her.
13:43Yeah.
13:43What does that look like?
13:44I will say, I think, honestly, like, it truly has been more or less like he's just like a family
13:52member in the house.
13:53It's never like me and Jacob are going to get beers.
13:56Like, y'all wouldn't be coming and chilling like this.
13:59No, no, no, no.
14:00They've been in the same relationship for three years and they don't even go get a beer.
14:02I mean, you're dating the same girl.
14:04You got to talk about.
14:05There's a lot in common here, but y'all aren't.
14:09It's just, they're roommates, I guess.
14:12Well, is Jacob dating other people?
14:14Like, does he give the same energy that you give?
14:17You know, Jacob, like you know, he's a little bit more reserved.
14:19Right.
14:20You know, he's not so much somebody to, you know, put himself out there as much.
14:24As far as I know, like, he hasn't dated anybody while, like, the 10 years that Becca ends.
14:29How is that truly poly?
14:31Just as much as polyamory is a practice, I think that polyamory is also, like, a belief.
14:37You know what I mean?
14:38Like, you believe that you can truly love more than one person.
14:42And Jacob may believe that and does believe that about himself.
14:46Or does he just love Becca so much that he is okay with it?
14:50But is he okay with it?
15:00I mean, what do you think this is even gonna be like?
15:04I don't know, but hopefully it makes things better.
15:09It's gotta be better than what we've been trying to do.
15:13Today, me and BQ are going to see a couple's therapist for the first time together.
15:19I wish it happened sooner.
15:21We could have probably reduced the amount of damage that was done if it was done a lot sooner.
15:28Since BQ's agreed to therapy, we haven't really spoken much for the past few days.
15:34Anything that I say is just gonna be repetitive, so I'm just kind of, like, just trying to just be
15:40in my own space right now.
15:41Hi, how are you?
15:43Hi, Kamina.
15:44Nice to meet you.
15:45Nice to meet you.
15:45Nice to meet you.
15:46Nice to meet you.
15:47Come on down with me.
15:48Yeah, I kind of had, like, I wanted to turn around and 86 this whole .
15:54But, I mean, I do want this poly relationship.
15:57I do want to work on our relationship, so all in all, I have to deal with this .
16:02Swag and roll.
16:04But, I'm happy that there is a referee between us two, and I'm happy that the referee is 5'7",
16:11brunette, and extra beautiful.
16:13Absolutely, yes.
16:14So, thank you both for coming.
16:16So, my name's Alexandra Gleason.
16:18I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist here, and I specialize in the polyamorous relationships,
16:22and I also specialize, obviously, in relationship therapy in general.
16:26Do you have an ambulance on deck?
16:27No, I'm just kidding.
16:28I'm just kidding.
16:29No ambulances.
16:30They're gonna be very controlled.
16:31Let's start with, why don't you tell me separately?
16:34We're gonna start one at a time.
16:35What brought you to when it comes to couples therapy?
16:37For me, I am a serial cheater.
16:41Okay.
16:42My whole entire life, I've never been faithful to one girl.
16:45And, honestly, I haven't been able to pump the brakes on it.
16:48Mm-hmm.
16:49I'm like, all right, let me just knock it out real quick.
16:51Like, it's like a job, like a day job.
16:54So, I go, knock it out, and do what I gotta do, and keep it moving.
16:57And, apparently, that's a problem.
16:59So, you know, I propose this polyamorous relationship now to hope that it can pump the brakes so much so
17:05I can, you know, feel more, I guess, fulfilled.
17:08Okay.
17:09So, polyamory is not an answer to anything.
17:12So, we can't fix a relationship that doesn't have a strong foundation.
17:16And I always go back to the root of the couple and what they both want.
17:20If there's a desire for two people to continue to engage in relationships outside their relationship or bring people in,
17:27it can be very successful.
17:28But when we continue to engage in dishonest behaviors, infidelity, lack of trust, and all these things, it's not gonna
17:35resolve anything.
17:35It's actually going to make it worse.
17:37Okay.
17:38Thank you for sharing all that.
17:40That was a lot of great information.
17:42What's it like for you to hear him say all of this?
17:47For someone that knows exactly what he's doing and to completely do the opposite knowing what he's doing, I think
17:52it's bullshit.
17:53Mm-hmm.
17:54Bottom line.
17:54Okay.
17:55Especially after eight years.
17:56Great.
17:57Okay.
17:57Eight years of this.
17:59Okay.
17:59So, tell me, Tamina, what's brought you here?
18:03What's brought me here is I'm ready to walk out the door.
18:07You know, I'm to the point where I'm like, you know, I already invested eight years.
18:12Mm-hmm.
18:13So, you know, what's another few months to see if this will work, if he really, you know, gives it
18:18a shot the right way this time.
18:19Mm-hmm.
18:21But, I mean, I don't see it working.
18:25I don't.
18:26Okay.
18:26Let me just measure.
18:27So, on a scale of one to ten, ten being that you're never leaving this relationship and you're fully committed,
18:32and one being I'm walking out the door, where are you today?
18:38Like a two.
18:39Like a two?
18:40Okay.
18:41Tamina, where are you today?
18:42T-C-R-L.
18:44Okay.
18:47That's pretty harsh.
18:50Why do you stay, Tamina?
18:58I see, like, I've seen moments of him, like, peek through where, like, I know, like, it's just me and
19:05he only wants me.
19:06Like, I've seen those moments.
19:07I've felt them.
19:09But they're so, like, so, like, minuscule and, like, like, that's what I hold on to.
19:19Well, because he treated me like this this time, and he was so, like, that's, I just, I know if
19:24he can show that for a second, he can show that for a lifetime.
19:31But let me ask you, like, I know you sit with tons of people, like, is this, like, a normal
19:34thing that guys don't learn and they continue to keep .
19:38No.
19:40Your behavior has become compulsive at this point, where you know it's wrong, you know you shouldn't be doing it,
19:46but then we get the case of the that we don't want to deal with it anymore.
19:48So we re-engage in it again because it feels good in the moment, but it doesn't feel good for
19:53the aftermath of it.
19:54At the end of the day, Tamina, you end up staying, so there is no real consequence for your behavior.
20:02I just shut down.
20:03I just don't want to deal, and I'll just leave, you know, because I don't like to get irate.
20:08It's just not, it's counterproductive for me, and I feel like it gets us nowhere.
20:12You know, I wish you acted like this when the cameras weren't around.
20:16No, no, no, I have.
20:17If the cameras weren't here, he'd be like, f*** you, I got 10 f***ing bitches on deck.
20:20This is her letting me talk more than yours.
20:22No, because you're not being truthful.
20:23You're putting an act on in front of the f***ing cameras, I'm sorry.
20:27Polyamory, I did it because I figured that was what he needed since he always needs someone else.
20:34All right.
20:35I can't even talk.
20:36That's how you talk.
20:37Okay.
20:38If I could drive away and leave her alone, no doubt.
20:40I'm by, I'm gone, I'll come home, f***, and I want to come home.
20:43But I go, you know, I take fresh air, and I come home, and I'm ready to come home.
20:47He takes fresh air on someone's f***ing.
20:49That's what he does.
20:50That's what he does.
20:51F***ing.
20:51So this is not productive, obviously.
20:53We've gotten nowhere.
20:54You are on this circle, this hamster wheel that continues, and the only way to get out of
20:59it is one of us to step off of it so we stop it from rolling.
21:02If I gotta need therapy to get her through her f***ing head that this is not good for
21:05me anymore, then this is what it's gonna be.
21:07I'm not forcing you to be here.
21:08I don't need therapy to tell me that you don't need to be here.
21:10I'll help another person to you.
21:11Just go.
21:11Go then.
21:12Leave.
21:12Okay, let's stop.
21:13So what I'm hearing you say is, why are you not worth that?
21:17Why?
21:18Is that what you want?
21:18Yeah, basically.
21:19Okay.
21:20I want you to look at her and answer that question for her.
21:24I'm gonna f***ing answer.
21:25It's not worth it.
21:26I just can't f***ing stand you off the f***ing time, to be honest with you.
21:29I'm sorry to tell you, but I just can't f***ing stand you and your f***ing attitude and
21:32your screaming every f***ing day.
21:34I can't stand you more than half the f***ing time, to be honest with you, because I'm sick
21:37of your f***ing mouth.
21:39And I've already given you time, and I've been like, let me try to work it out.
21:44Let me try to be honest.
21:45Let me try to fix this s***.
21:47You don't fix nothing.
21:49But honestly, I make it very s***ing clear the s*** that bothers me, and I'm f***ing sick
21:53of your mouth.
21:53I don't give a s***.
21:57Coming up, whatever happens is meant to happen.
22:00Man, I'm trying to stay strong.
22:02I'm hoping for the best, but with something like this you don't know.
22:12That's f***ing reason for you to f***ing destroy f***ing life.
22:17Does it seem like he wants me, nor does it seem like he likes me?
22:20And I don't want to be in a place where someone doesn't want me around.
22:23This is not a wedding.
22:25I need it specifically to not be a wedding.
22:27I just think that there's way too many things that we're not aligning on that I'm not willing
22:32to let die.
22:38I'm sorry to tell you, but I just can't f***ing stand your s***ing attitude and you're screaming
22:41every f***ing day.
22:43F***ing sick of your mouth.
22:44I don't give a f***ing.
22:46So.
22:46So, and I want you to focus on why she's not worth something to you.
22:50I'm worth 40.
22:50Because I'm f***ing resentful now.
22:52I'm over it.
22:53I'm resentful as f***ing.
22:53So that's the bottom f***ing that I wanted to hear.
22:55Not just resentful.
22:55I'm resentful as f***ing.
22:57Okay.
22:58I can't stand her.
22:59Because she does nothing but hold me back.
23:02Okay.
23:03And that's it.
23:03That's what I'm going to say.
23:04Okay.
23:05Hold on.
23:05I'm going to just pause this for a second.
23:06Because what's happening is that this is, this is just.
23:09Like he just got mean and nasty.
23:11That is disrespectful.
23:12And that's.
23:13There's no.
23:13It doesn't matter.
23:14Look at how.
23:14I'm not f***ing screaming at me for more than an hour.
23:16But look.
23:16I'm not going to let you sit there and gaslight me into thinking like I'm the cause of this.
23:20When I'm not.
23:21You made the decision every day to do all the s*** you did to me.
23:24Every day you woke up and said I'm going to cheat and lie and gaslight her.
23:28And if you never did that, this would not be happening right now.
23:31That is not fair.
23:32I'm just not within him.
23:34I guess I just want him to see my worth.
23:37You know, like I feel like I've done everything on my part.
23:39So he could say like that's a great woman.
23:42She's loyal.
23:43She's got my bag.
23:44She's been there for me through it all.
23:46She's forgiven me.
23:47And he doesn't see that I've done any of that.
23:51Listen, I have enough s*** on my plate and I do not need more s***.
23:56If you are going to cause me more s*** or you know, weigh me down or bring, hold me back.
24:01I'm going to delete you out of my s*** life.
24:07I want to be loved.
24:09I want to be appreciated.
24:10If you wouldn't keep cheating, you wouldn't hate me.
24:12It's my time to talk.
24:13It's not your...
24:13It's been your time to talk.
24:15Wait, wait.
24:17I don't think BQ is going to realize my worth until I actually f***ing leave.
24:22If you get your power of power...
24:26I don't know why you wouldn't want to live it up.
24:36What if maybe me and you, maybe we could turn it up.
24:41Hi.
24:42Hey, how's it going?
24:43Hi.
24:43Nice to see you again.
24:44Yeah, you as well.
24:45Thanks for coming and kind of, you know,
24:47doing a little fun thing with me.
24:49Yeah, I'm excited.
24:50Me too.
24:50Thank you for inviting me.
24:51I met Holly at, you know, her oddities shop.
24:54What do you think?
24:54Oh, they're perfect.
24:55It's amazing.
24:56Yeah.
24:58And it was really nice meeting you all.
25:00Yeah, for sure.
25:01I love your purse, by the way.
25:03Did you make that?
25:04I did not make this one.
25:05No, it definitely goes with your vibe.
25:06And obviously, you go like hand in hand with your shop.
25:11Holly, like, you know, just seeing her,
25:12she's very much so like Becca in regards to her style,
25:16how eccentric she is.
25:17I wouldn't say I have a type necessarily,
25:20but she gives similar vibes to Becca for sure.
25:23Cheers, by the way.
25:24Yeah, cheers.
25:24Even though I love being engaged,
25:27I am open to other partners.
25:28With Holly, knowing that I'm polyamorous,
25:31I think that, yeah, I was kind of getting a vibe
25:33that maybe she would be interested in that.
25:36Whenever we were at the shop,
25:37I felt like we had like a really awesome,
25:40fluid conversation.
25:41Yeah.
25:43Whenever I have kind of that chemistry of conversation,
25:46like I'm always interested to kind of like,
25:48you know, pursue it a little further
25:49and just see like, you know, is this a friend?
25:52Yeah.
25:52Or is there something more there?
25:54You know, like I'm open to that.
25:56And I think, you know, obviously being polyamorous,
26:00it allows space for that.
26:01And so that's kind of, I guess, where I was at in regards
26:05to like, just kind of like asking you here today.
26:07Okay.
26:08Um, that is all very flattering and thank you.
26:11And I am so excited to always just keep growing
26:16the plethora of amazing small business owners that I know.
26:20Yes, yes.
26:21And I think it's really important.
26:22Um, we need each other.
26:24We need to stick together.
26:25I will say, however, I am in a marriage that is monogamous.
26:35Okay.
26:37Surprise!
26:38I am married and I did not think this was a date.
26:41Um, but I love new friends.
26:45Not what I was expecting, you know,
26:48because I am so open about being poly.
26:50I would assume that if you are not poly,
26:53that you would not want to go on a date with me.
26:57I appreciate you being like, you know, obviously very open
27:00and letting me know where you're at.
27:02Obviously something I didn't know about you,
27:04uh, that you are married.
27:06So my apologies there.
27:08It's okay.
27:10While I have a lot of keys on my neck,
27:12none of these are the ones to my heart.
27:14And I'm sorry, Davis.
27:16I'm, I'm somebody that's not like really afraid
27:17to shoot my shot anyway, honestly.
27:19No, I really appreciate that.
27:20Yeah.
27:21Clearly not going to be romance involved here.
27:23She is married, um, and monogamous,
27:26but, um, I did not see the ring on her finger.
27:29Typically I do pay attention to detail,
27:31uh, but that is something I did not see.
27:34My husband's going to buy me a bigger
27:35after this.
27:38Coming up.
27:39We have children who are, our stuff is going to go to.
27:43It's not about the money.
27:44It's about the fact that I wouldn't be in your will.
27:46You act like this is only you.
27:48I can't believe you would say that.
27:49And it's not unreasonable.
27:51It's actually quite logical.
27:54We are all pushing everything aside,
27:56focusing on the important stuff.
27:58I'm happy.
27:59I know.
28:00I know.
28:00We're staying positive about it,
28:02but we don't know the outcome.
28:03It's a rough situation.
28:06The big thing.
28:07The big thing.
28:12So both of you take some time to think about it,
28:14I don't wait to hear it from you, okay?
28:16Awesome.
28:16Thank you for coming.
28:17It was.
28:18You're a pleasure.
28:18Thank you very much for everything.
28:20Thank you very much.
28:21All right.
28:21You know, I'm happy that I got to speak my piece so much,
28:24because usually it's her blasting me nonstop.
28:27I don't get a , I can't ever really express myself.
28:38Um, that didn't go well.
28:42I don't know what to say.
28:45Honestly, even though you don't fully agree
28:48with everything that I say, maybe it's, it's, it's.
28:51You were pretty hateful actually,
28:53and pretty rude and nasty and hurtful.
28:55And like the way you spoke to me
28:57and the way you looked at me was like pure hate.
29:00Like I was questioning why the
29:02I'm even with someone that hates me so much.
29:06That's it.
29:06You know what?
29:09No, you looked straight at me and said,
29:12you can't stand me.
29:15I made it very clear that resentment was a big factor in this
29:19because I feel not appreciated.
29:20Like I don't give anything, any help.
29:23And I'm not saying she doesn't either.
29:24Like she's got resentment.
29:26Like, you know, I've around for years.
29:28We both have these big, big issues
29:30laying on top of us, you know what I mean?
29:32It's a lot of work that needs to be done here.
29:34I need a clean house.
29:36I'm not a woman.
29:37I need a man that's not up with this stupid house
29:40because that's no reason for you to destroy my life,
29:45my mental and my physical for a house.
29:48Get a grenade and shut the up.
29:54Oh, what I'm going to do?
29:56I don't understand how to fix this.
29:58Well, I don't want to live with someone that doesn't like me.
30:05You know, I just think that I'm just going to get my own place.
30:10It's just probably better off.
30:12Your own place?
30:16Yeah.
30:20You sure that's what you want to do?
30:24It's what I have to do.
30:26For right now, I feel like I should just like walk away
30:31because he doesn't seem like he wants me
30:32nor does he seem like he likes me.
30:35And I don't want to be in a place
30:37where someone doesn't want me around
30:38and someone's not excited to see me.
30:41I just, I'm ready to move the house.
30:56Hey, babe, you got a sec?
30:58Yeah, babe.
30:59We have a difference in opinion
31:01of what's actually happening
31:02and who this day's for and what it's all about.
31:04So we definitely need to have a conversation.
31:07What we don't want to do is have some ceremony
31:09with us all on different pages.
31:11We need to make sure we all know what we're signing up for.
31:14What do you think?
31:16It's pretty.
31:17Now, what is that for?
31:20For pictures.
31:22For me and you?
31:23Yeah, so when you throw it, you know what I mean?
31:25Like, look at the movement of the, when we throw it?
31:28Yeah.
31:29What's the matter?
31:30I just didn't know we were throwing bouquets.
31:33What do you mean?
31:34What do you mean?
31:35What do you mean?
31:36I'm just caught off guard with our, you know,
31:40with our interaction.
31:41But you know what?
31:42There's a lot of discussions that we haven't had.
31:44It feels like you more have in your head
31:48that this is a wedding.
31:51What are you wanting to look like?
31:54That's, I think, where we're running into issues.
31:56Right away.
31:56This is not a wedding.
31:58I need it specifically to not be a wedding.
32:04Coming up.
32:05It's like someone, they can't cry anymore?
32:07We got a call from the NICU.
32:09You don't know what that call is.
32:11Hey, she didn't make it.
32:15Clearly, I have to let things die in order to exist in this
32:17relationship, and that's not going to happen.
32:18Like, I'm out, like, I'm going to my mom's,
32:20and you'll hear from me.
32:31This is not a wedding.
32:33I need it specifically to not be a wedding.
32:36So what is it to you, then?
32:38We're saying, can we build something brand new
32:41and make a throuple, committed relationship
32:44where all three of us are responsible for this relationship?
32:47There are going to be some traditional aspects
32:49that I'm going to want.
32:50Like?
32:51What's important to you?
32:52If we're making a life commitment,
32:53I would hope I would be in your will.
32:55Why do you think that women want the marriage?
32:56Why?
32:56Because you're legally bound, mother .
32:58You have legal obligations.
32:59But there are some things that Trent and I cannot offer you,
33:02just fact-wise.
33:04Like, typically, when you get married,
33:05two people put their finances together.
33:08They buy a house together.
33:10Those are some of the things that we can't actually offer.
33:13But we still can offer security.
33:15Security has meant we choose you,
33:17and we are willing to work through.
33:18That's the security that we're able to provide.
33:21But it never meant, you know,
33:23that you're going to be in the will.
33:24Correct.
33:25I understand, from a security standpoint,
33:27to her means that she will be on our will.
33:29She'll be part of my 401 , part of the inheritance.
33:33We've got five kids that are going to get our inheritance.
33:36And that can't change.
33:38We're not going to, we're not willing to change that.
33:40Then why are we having this ceremony?
33:41Why are we doing this?
33:42Why would, why did you give me the ring?
33:43Why did you give me the ring?
33:44It's like.
33:46Because I tried to do something very special for you.
33:49Oh, gosh.
33:50We are committing long-term.
33:52For how long is that?
33:53Forever.
33:55I'm sorry.
33:56We didn't mean it to be an engagement proposal.
33:59That's not what.
34:00Well, it was very misleading.
34:01We didn't get down on our knee.
34:02We didn't go, will you marry us?
34:04Like, that was never part of it.
34:05You're wanting to be on the will and be on the mortgage.
34:08If we spend, mother , 40 years together.
34:10I mean, well, you ain't got 40 years left.
34:11I probably have 40 years left.
34:13Like, we spend the duration.
34:14Say you got 20 good years left, OK?
34:17And we will take care of you for those 20 years.
34:21But you're making it all financial.
34:23I mean, I've spent more on you in the last three years, probably 10 times the amount of
34:28money on you as I have my wife.
34:30Everything that we have, our home, our finances that we have, we, you know, we do share everything
34:36with her.
34:36But as far as, like, to put her on her will and that type of thing, that's not something
34:41I'm ready to offer.
34:42What we can offer is what we've been offering right now is we take care of her.
34:51Like, and we also help take care of her grandmother and her mother.
34:53It's not about the money, it's about the fact that you have no attachment to, like,
34:58the ideas of, like, the wedding.
35:01But that's not what we're offering.
35:02That's the problem.
35:03So I have to let those things die, then?
35:05Yes.
35:06Yes.
35:06Yeah, I don't think that's going to work.
35:08I don't think that I can let those things die.
35:09Do you realize how much I've had to let die?
35:12All kinds of stuff.
35:13You act like this is only you.
35:14You are different.
35:15When you came into my house, it was easy for you to take over the kitchen.
35:18I would never go into somebody else's house and take over anything.
35:21But that's just the difference in our personalities.
35:23The fact that you just grabbed all of our kids and said they're mine, that's your personality
35:28and I'm okay with it.
35:29That's something I had to give up.
35:31Do you understand that?
35:32I've given up a ton.
35:34Really when it comes to the kids, too, that probably hurts the most because the kids have
35:39been, like, the only thing that have made me keep going.
35:43You love their kids.
35:45I love their kids.
35:47I love their kids.
35:47I love their kids.
35:48They're beautiful.
35:49I just think that there's way too many things that we're not aligning on that I'm not willing
35:54to let die.
35:55This wouldn't even be happening if you would have said we had a misunderstanding at the
35:57ring, that there was a misunderstanding in the wrapping paper.
35:59We didn't know that there was a misunderstanding.
36:01How would you not know?
36:01Because that lived in your head.
36:03No.
36:04No.
36:04That one's not just in my head.
36:05I can't believe you would say that.
36:07Like, I can't believe that she would say that's just in my head.
36:08You could take any regular girl that had been in a relationship for as long as we haven't
36:12been through what we've been through.
36:13They're absolutely going to think.
36:15From two people, not from one.
36:15They're going to absolutely think the exact same thing that I did.
36:19And it's not unreasonable.
36:20It's actually quite logical.
36:23I don't know.
36:27I don't know.
36:29I just want to be left alone, you guys.
36:35We have given everything we can.
36:40We've lost relationship with friends and family.
36:42Like, and if we were to lose her too, for me that would feel very devastating.
36:48So like, clearly I have to let things die in order to exist in this relationship and
36:52that's not going to happen.
36:53I'm out.
36:53Like, I'm going to my mom's and you'll hear from me.
36:59I don't want anything that you don't want me to have.
37:01So if you don't want me to have it, I don't want it.
37:04I don't know.
37:06And that goes with the will, everything.
37:08Anything that you don't want me to have, I don't want.
37:11With my family that I'm trying to connect with and feeling rejected and silenced and
37:15then her doing this, like, I don't have the emotional capacity right now for all of this.
37:21I don't see the ceremony happening.
37:22And I don't, I don't, I just don't see it happening.
37:24Here.
37:25This is what you came for?
37:26There you go.
37:28You got your mic back.
37:29I have none of your equipment.
37:30None of that .
37:50You got your mic.
37:51You got your mic.
37:52You got your mic.
37:53You got your mic.
37:54You got your mic.
37:57You got your mic.
38:00my head you know I'm really concerned because yeah I debosh is too early to
38:06have the baby um so we'll see what happens
38:35so
38:43so
38:44so
39:09Hey, Yahweh.
39:11Hey, Yahweh.
39:25Yahweh Miracle went straight to the NICU.
39:27She's been in the NICU ever since.
39:29Her esophagus isn't reaching her stomach, so she can't eat.
39:35She has something that's giving her nutrients right now.
39:40And I think there's something also going on with her heart, and there's something going
39:44on with her breathing.
39:46Are you coming straight from the hospital?
39:51It's been a real long night, man.
39:57Man, I'm trying to stay strong, y'all.
39:59It's rough.
40:01It's a rough situation.
40:03Right now, the focus is Yahweh Miracle, Yahweh Debash, Yahweh Poetic, making sure everybody's
40:09good.
40:09We are all pushing everything aside, focusing on the important stuff.
40:14I know, you know, our baby, she's doing what she came to do, and she's going through her
40:21little journey, and we have to accept that, you know, whether we like it or not.
40:25It's all for a purpose.
40:26Yeah.
40:27So, just staying positive and, like, staying happy.
40:31Yeah.
40:32Like, having acceptance, whatever happens is meant to happen.
40:36Yeah, it's been rough.
40:38You know, Yahweh the boss, she don't want to go down and see the baby like that all the
40:41time.
40:42It's too much for her.
40:43Yeah.
40:44I just don't want to give her, like, sad energy.
40:45I want to give her happy energy.
40:46And so, it's like, I'm happy.
40:51I know.
40:52I know.
40:53I know.
40:54I know.
40:55I know, yeah.
40:55I just feel like it's, like, so much, I can't cry anymore, really.
40:59Like, I'm, like, drained.
40:59Like, I feel like I'm crying, but there's no tears.
41:03You know?
41:04So, it's just, like...
41:05We all going through this process and fighting through it, and it's been rough.
41:09We're staying positive about it, but we don't know the outcome.
41:12And that's the scary part.
41:14It's just the process of, you know, ups and downs.
41:17You don't know what it's going to be like.
41:19We don't know.
41:19Like, we got a call from the NICU this morning, and it's like, you don't know if that call
41:24is, hey, she didn't make it.
41:26Our plan right now is to just go through the process of the surgeries.
41:30We're fighting through it, and working through it as a family, and, you know, we get past this.
41:35This is, you know, it's really a trying time for everybody.
41:39Never been through something like this, too.
41:41Yeah.
41:56I'm hoping for the best, but with something like this, you don't know.
42:07Every time I tell her, though, every time I go out there, I tell her, just, you know,
42:10never give up, never give up.
42:12You know, Yahweh, never give up, never give up.
42:16I know.
42:17I know she's going to fight.
42:21She's fighting.
42:22You've been being strong, Yahweh.
42:24You've been being so strong.
42:26Oh.
42:29It's okay, Yahweh.
42:30It's okay.
42:31It's okay.
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