- 6 hours ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:16Johnny English.
00:00:19Five years ago he was our top agent.
00:00:22Yeah. Took his eye off the ball in Mozambique.
00:00:39Does it have to be him?
00:00:41He's the only one our contact will talk to.
00:00:46So where is he?
00:01:15You came here to forget your life of shame, but the path you must tread to new life will not
00:01:26be easy English.
00:01:31Our purpose here is simple. To strengthen what is weak. Make hard what is soft.
00:01:44Help! Help! Help!
00:01:56This will take time.
00:02:04Mind must be master of the body.
00:02:11Strong mind can separate the body from its suffering.
00:02:18Good concentration, English.
00:02:21Sorry?
00:02:29You are not young, but with age comes wisdom.
00:02:37What?
00:02:38Get out!
00:02:39Get out!
00:02:53Get out!
00:02:56When mind you this, master of the body, you will be warrior once more.
00:03:09Master, what is my destiny?
00:03:14I'm in touch with a higher power.
00:03:26MI-7 wants you on a fast flight back to London.
00:03:39Master, am I ready?
00:03:44No.
00:03:46Window seat or aisle.
00:03:56Hello.
00:03:57Good morning, sir.
00:03:59Does she have a British intelligence?
00:04:00Does she have a British intelligence?
00:04:02Do you need electronic products?
00:04:03Press 1.
00:04:03To speak to an agent?
00:04:04Press 2.
00:04:05Do she have a British intelligence?
00:04:06Certainly, sir.
00:04:07Can I redirect you to our website?
00:04:08Absolutely.
00:04:10www.spying4u.gov.
00:04:12Do she have a British intelligence?
00:04:14Good morning, sir.
00:04:15Can I help you?
00:04:16Johnny English.
00:04:17Pegasus is expecting you.
00:04:19Look into the camera.
00:04:26Don't smile.
00:04:31Pamela Thornton.
00:04:33Head of MI-7.
00:04:36Johnny English.
00:04:37Have a seat.
00:04:40You've been away for some time, English.
00:04:43But you haven't been forgotten.
00:04:48People here often talk about your adventures in Mozambique.
00:04:55Well, MI-7 has come a long way since then.
00:04:59The guns, the fast cars, and the chauvinism are all on their way out.
00:05:05Frankly, I didn't want to see you back.
00:05:08You are everything I came into this service to change.
00:05:10But my hands are tied.
00:05:13And there are times when one has to look down.
00:05:19We have a situation.
00:05:22Indeed.
00:05:26There's a good puss.
00:05:28There's a good puss.
00:05:32There's a good pussy.
00:05:33Who's a good pussy?
00:05:34I'm impressed.
00:05:35Who's a good pussy?
00:05:37Phil, we never let strangers pick him up.
00:05:39Oh, I'm very much at one with the other.
00:05:40Who's in the animal kingdom?
00:05:41Meow.
00:05:42There's a good pussy.
00:05:44I know.
00:05:45I know.
00:05:45Who's lovely?
00:05:46Who's lovely?
00:05:48Who...
00:05:52We're all lovely.
00:05:57Kate Sumner.
00:05:59Our behavioural psychologist.
00:06:01I've heard a great deal about you.
00:06:03Glowing reports, I trust.
00:06:05Tell me, Miss Sumner,
00:06:06what exactly does a behavioural psychologist do?
00:06:10Monitor observable behaviour for signs of internal psychology.
00:06:16We read people.
00:06:18Oh.
00:06:18Well, we must get together sometime.
00:06:20I think you'll find me a real page-turner.
00:06:35So, Pegasus, this situation...
00:06:39Ex-CIA agent Titus Fisher has contacted us from Hong Kong.
00:06:43He has intelligence of a plot to assassinate the Chinese Premier
00:06:46at the Anglo-Chinese talks next week.
00:06:49We need you to go and find out what he's got.
00:06:52Well, in that case, Pegasus, count me in.
00:06:57Agent One will meet you downstairs.
00:07:04So, I just scaled the walls, blew the whole place to Kingdom Come,
00:07:07and an hour later I'm sitting in the bar with a white Russian in my hand.
00:07:11Who was very lovely too, I can tell you.
00:07:14Simon.
00:07:18Hello, Johnny.
00:07:21Simon.
00:07:23You look wonderful.
00:07:24But then you always did.
00:07:25Welcome back.
00:07:26How long's it been?
00:07:27Oh, I don't know.
00:07:28Five years?
00:07:29Three months and six days or something?
00:07:31Of course.
00:07:32Mozambique.
00:07:36That was a balls-up with a cherry on top.
00:07:39Come on.
00:07:40Let's get you sorted.
00:07:42Welcome to the toy cupboard.
00:07:53I won't leave you my number.
00:07:55You know Patch?
00:07:56Patch Quartermain.
00:07:58The man himself.
00:07:59English.
00:08:00Please, don't get up.
00:08:02No chance of that.
00:08:05Lost them.
00:08:06Testing the B6 exploding brogues.
00:08:08Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:08:09How are you?
00:08:11Have to be this one, I'm afraid.
00:08:13Lost this to the detent doorbell.
00:08:16Well, it's great to see what's left of you.
00:08:20This is rather good fun, actually.
00:08:22Top speed of 60 MPH, and I've managed to add the odd thing.
00:08:30This way.
00:08:31I haven't got all day.
00:08:32Don't.
00:08:35Do stop meddling English.
00:08:37Here she is.
00:08:39Ah, the Rolls Royce Phantom.
00:08:41Truly the Rolls Royce of automobile.
00:08:44Armour plating, all the bells and whistles.
00:08:47Safe bonnet.
00:08:48Bonnet.
00:08:49Command accepted.
00:08:51Voice activation recognizes only you.
00:08:55Rolls has fitted one of their experimental engines.
00:08:56The 9-liter V16.
00:08:59Goes like the wind.
00:09:01Only quieter.
00:09:04Beautiful.
00:09:05Keep up.
00:09:06Here's what you've been taking to Hong Kong.
00:09:09Ah, yes.
00:09:10Satellite receiver.
00:09:12Tracking device.
00:09:14Semtex chewing gum.
00:09:15And now, what did I just say?
00:09:17Oh!
00:09:20That's the new P2 digital dart gun.
00:09:23Gentlemen.
00:09:24May I remind you all that MI7's current weapon of choice is dialogue?
00:09:29Don't we do love it when it gets strict, Pegasus?
00:09:35English, you go to Hong Kong tonight.
00:09:38Fisher will contact you there.
00:09:40To ensure protocol is observed,
00:09:44I'm sending someone with you.
00:09:46Agent Tucker.
00:09:50It'll be an honour, sir.
00:09:53Well, it'll be good to have somebody to carry the bags.
00:09:56You made a laughingstock out of this service once, English.
00:10:00Not on my watch.
00:10:02Clear?
00:10:03Crystal clear, Pegasus.
00:10:12Just like old times, eh, Johnny?
00:10:14I'm off to Switzerland.
00:10:15Let's catch up when you get back.
00:10:17There's nothing I'd like more, Simon.
00:10:21No one's seen the voice-changing travel lozenges.
00:10:26Um...
00:10:30No...
00:10:34No...
00:10:35No...
00:10:50No...
00:10:51Cough...
00:10:53Cough...
00:10:54C'mon, Tucker.
00:11:01I'm not 21 till September, so I'm not really allowed in.
00:11:05Tucker, you're an agent working for Her Majesty's Secret Service distracting part.
00:11:08I'm sorry.
00:11:10I'm sorry.
00:11:18I'm sorry.
00:11:19I'm sorry.
00:11:21I'm sorry.
00:11:21Ten thousand dollars' worth, please, my lovely.
00:11:28I'll give you a seat, please.
00:11:36be alert for contact ducker we're looking for a chinese man in spectacles
00:11:46sir the chinese man in spectacles
00:11:54contact
00:12:02evening
00:12:21your grandmother is sick
00:12:24what your grandmother is sick
00:12:29well she's dead that's how sick she is
00:12:38is he dead sir
00:12:44yes
00:12:49yes
00:12:53yes
00:12:54yes
00:12:54yes
00:12:55yes
00:12:55yes
00:12:58yes
00:12:58yes
00:12:59yes
00:12:59yes
00:12:59yes
00:12:59yes
00:13:00yes
00:13:00yes
00:13:00yes
00:13:00yes
00:13:00yes
00:13:00yes
00:13:00yes
00:13:01yes
00:13:01yes
00:13:02yes
00:13:02yes
00:13:05yes
00:13:05yes
00:13:13yes
00:13:14yes
00:13:14yes
00:13:17yes
00:13:18yes
00:13:18yes
00:13:18yes
00:13:18yes
00:13:20yes
00:13:22yes
00:13:25The people behind the plot to kill Zhang Ping, the Chinese premier.
00:13:29A group called Vortex.
00:13:31Never heard of them.
00:13:32Paid assassins. The best there is.
00:13:41Come on, Fisher. I need names. I need evidence.
00:13:49Vortex has a secret weapon.
00:13:51This is one of three keys that, when used together, gain access to it.
00:13:56Without this, Vortex is finished.
00:13:59How did you get hold of it?
00:14:01It's mine.
00:14:03I beg your pardon?
00:14:05Vortex is three of us.
00:14:11Get up off it, Fisher.
00:14:13You, a hired assassin?
00:14:16You couldn't hit a barn door with a banana.
00:14:20And as for Vortex, clearly you've got the name off a box of washing powder.
00:14:25Vortex was in Mozambique.
00:14:29What?
00:14:30Yeah?
00:14:32Really?
00:14:34Mom, go, go, go, go.
00:14:36We were all there that day, Johnny boy.
00:14:39Let's get a sound.
00:14:39What?
00:14:40Shit!
00:14:43Hey, there's a...
00:14:44Pick!
00:14:45Come on!
00:14:46Come on!
00:14:58Madam, let me help you with that.
00:15:00Here, yes, I think you should vacate the area.
00:15:02There are some very dangerous people about.
00:15:05There we go.
00:15:11Ah!
00:15:13Ah!
00:15:14Ah!
00:15:14Get after her!
00:15:15Get after her!
00:15:16Oh!
00:15:17Ah!
00:15:18Oh!
00:15:19Ah!
00:15:20No.
00:15:38Sir!
00:15:39Sir!
00:15:40Over here, Tucker.
00:15:41I lost her, sir.
00:15:42Look what I found.
00:15:50This way, sir!
00:15:51This way!
00:15:52You get down to the street.
00:15:53I'll take the roof.
00:15:56You get down to the street.
00:16:19Ah!
00:16:20Oh!
00:16:20Ah!
00:16:22Ah!
00:16:22Oh!
00:16:23Ah!
00:16:23I don't know!
00:16:23What could I have done?
00:16:23Ah!
00:16:23Ah!
00:16:24Ah!
00:16:24Ah!
00:16:24Ah!
00:16:25Ah!
00:16:28You are not young, but with age comes wisdom.
00:17:23You are not young, but with age wisdom.
00:17:26You are not young, but with age wisdom.
00:17:31You are not young, but with age wisdom.
00:18:22You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:18:39You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:18:42You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:18:55You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:19:29You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:19:39You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:19:49You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:19:50You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:19:51You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:20:31You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:20:34You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:20:38You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:20:58You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:21:03You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:21:03You are young, but with age wisdom.
00:21:08Oh, yes, looks like a gladiator!
00:21:24Come on.
00:21:38Come on!
00:21:46Come on!
00:21:50Come on!
00:21:51Come on!
00:21:56Oh!
00:21:58Oh!
00:22:00Oh!
00:22:01Oh!
00:22:02Oh!
00:22:03Oh!
00:22:05Oh!
00:22:05Oh!
00:22:05Oh!
00:22:05Oh!
00:22:08Oh!
00:22:15Oh!
00:22:15Oh!
00:22:17Oh!
00:22:19Oh!
00:22:25Oh!
00:22:43Oh!
00:22:46Oh!
00:22:48Oh!
00:22:50Oh!
00:22:59Oh!
00:23:01Oh!
00:23:07Vortex is finished.
00:23:10But better still, for years I believed what happened in Mozambique was my fault.
00:23:16Now I realise it was only partly my fault.
00:23:20What did happen in Mozambique?
00:23:22Oh!
00:23:24Oh!
00:23:26Oh!
00:23:33Excuse me, sir. We're coming into land. Can I store that overhead for you?
00:23:38Certainly.
00:23:41Sir, I don't think he's a Susan.
00:23:44But then you're not a linguist, are you, Tanya?
00:23:47It's not Susan. It's Shushan.
00:23:51From the Zinzu region, unless I'm very much mistaken.
00:23:56Thank you, Shushan.
00:24:11Foreign Secretary.
00:24:14I hope you've got something for us, English.
00:24:16The Prime Minister is extremely concerned.
00:24:19He has every reason to be so.
00:24:21There is a plot to kill the Chinese Premier.
00:24:23Masterminded by a group of ruthless assassins called Vortex.
00:24:29Good Lord.
00:24:30The danger, however, has been averted.
00:24:34Now that we have this...
00:24:43English.
00:24:43Now, I know what you're going to say.
00:24:45It's a pretty small object.
00:24:49Well, it's often the little things that pack the biggest punch.
00:24:54After all, David killed Goliath with a pebble.
00:24:57The mighty Vortex has been slain by my possession of this small key.
00:25:07Jonathan?
00:25:25Shushan.
00:25:29Susan.
00:25:34We got it. The Fisher talked.
00:25:39Understood. We'll deal with English.
00:25:45You've got some more cleaning to do.
00:25:49Mummy! Mummy! There's some rhubarb's here!
00:25:52Is he? Darling, why don't you show him into the Conservatory?
00:25:56I'll be with you in just a minute.
00:25:58OK! Come on! Come on, let's go!
00:26:00Can you show me?
00:26:02Perhaps when you've found your key, you'll give me a call?
00:26:06I'm very sorry, Foreign Secretary. I'd hoped to have more for you.
00:26:12Oh, God.
00:26:38Come on.
00:26:39Nooo!
00:26:42Jesus!
00:26:44I've got her!
00:26:45You rich!
00:26:47English!
00:26:47She's in Hong Kong!
00:26:49She's the killer!
00:26:50She's my mother!
00:26:54Could she be both?
00:27:00Mummy, are you all right?
00:27:03Shall we get you a cup of tea?
00:27:07You'll be fine, Mummy.
00:27:10I think a cup of tea.
00:27:13That's what's required.
00:27:19Pegasus, I am truly, truly sorry.
00:27:22Don't apologize to me. Apologize to her.
00:27:36I cannot apologize enough, Mrs. Pegasus.
00:27:42It was a simple case of mistaken identity, I'm afraid.
00:27:46Now, I completely understand how upset you are,
00:27:49but I was hoping perhaps we could...
00:27:55Sir?
00:27:56Tucker!
00:27:58It's her! It's the killer from Hong Kong!
00:28:00No, it's not her, sir.
00:28:01It is! This time it's really her!
00:28:03It's not her, sir.
00:28:04Yes, it is.
00:28:12Right way!
00:28:14Sir!
00:28:16You murderous crone!
00:28:22I should take that!
00:28:30English!
00:28:32I've got her this time, Pegasus!
00:28:35This is the witch who works for Vortex.
00:28:38What any more, you old hag?
00:28:41English!
00:28:42Franny!
00:28:52You humiliate me in front of the Foreign Secretary.
00:28:55You lose our only lead on Vortex,
00:28:57and then you try and kill my mother.
00:28:59Twice!
00:29:01Pegasus, we have another lead!
00:29:03Vortex was in Mozambique!
00:29:05They were responsible for the death of President Shambal!
00:29:08No!
00:29:09You were responsible for the death of President Shambal!
00:29:14Oh!
00:29:15Oh!
00:29:15Oh!
00:29:22Well, you certainly gave Mr. Rhubarb a run for his money.
00:29:27Still, at least we know Vortex was in Mozambique.
00:29:32When you told Pegasus,
00:29:34you displayed all four indicators of someone telling the truth.
00:29:44It is a facial action coding system.
00:29:47Its high-speed cameras record micro-expressions invisible to the naked eye,
00:29:51detect what we call emotional leakage.
00:29:53Miss Sumner, I'm a trained agent.
00:29:56I don't leak.
00:29:57I want to take you back to Mozambique.
00:30:01Is that really necessary?
00:30:05Take a look at this.
00:30:08I want to take you back to Mozambique.
00:30:13There.
00:30:14Could we call that leakage?
00:30:16Now play ball.
00:30:18I'm taking a risk being here after hours.
00:30:21If Vortex was in Mozambique, perhaps you saw something.
00:30:24I'm going to take you back there, using hypnosis.
00:30:27Oh, please. Spare me the New Age mumbo-jumbo.
00:30:31Mr. English, please. I'm a professional.
00:30:33I'm not going to just snap my fingers and make you say the first thing that comes into your head.
00:30:38Plump pillows.
00:30:40Excuse me?
00:30:41Brilliant mind.
00:30:43Beautiful face.
00:30:45Incredible.
00:30:47And completely out of my league.
00:30:55I'd like to take you back to Mozambique.
00:31:02Tell me what's happening, Johnny.
00:31:05Where are you?
00:31:07President Shambal's inauguration day.
00:31:10Yes.
00:31:11Your head of security.
00:31:15Everything's going perfectly.
00:31:17Today we climb the mountain.
00:31:19Major English.
00:31:22The people have spoken.
00:31:24And the message is clear.
00:31:29The backup electrical supply has been come.
00:31:34No, it hasn't.
00:31:36It's been turned off.
00:31:39Do you know how to turn it on?
00:31:42I should be getting back.
00:31:45Well, operations like this are always difficult.
00:31:48But it's very satisfying when you get a result.
00:31:51The President couldn't be in safer hands.
00:31:53The future belongs to Mozambique.
00:31:59Ah, the fireworks have begun.
00:32:02The sound of freedom and celebration.
00:32:11Easy, Johnny. Easy. Go back.
00:32:13Before the Jacuzzi.
00:32:15What did you see?
00:32:21Yes.
00:32:23Fisher.
00:32:26On the terrace with two others.
00:32:29Yes. All three members of Vortex were there that day.
00:32:32Who can you see?
00:32:34Who can you see, Johnny?
00:32:39Artem Karlenko.
00:32:45Double agent.
00:32:47Recruited by MI7 in Moscow.
00:32:49Retired after his penchant for killing people threatened his cover.
00:32:53Five years ago, he turned up here as Sergei Podovkin. Rich. Very rich. A member of the exclusive Oakwood Golf
00:33:01Club, which is where you'll be meeting him.
00:33:02He's in a match play competition, sir. I'm making you his opponent for the day.
00:33:10Done it, sir. You're booked in as Mr. Peter Adams.
00:33:15Thank you, Tucker.
00:33:17If Karlenko is Vortex, I want you to bring him in. Alive.
00:33:45Mr. Pussikin?
00:33:48Dolphkin.
00:33:49And you must be Mr.
00:33:55Adams.
00:33:57Beautiful car, Mr. Adams.
00:34:00Ah, the Royce.
00:34:01Ready, sir.
00:34:04Shall we?
00:34:06Let's go.
00:34:08Command accepted.
00:34:10So what line of business are you in, Mr. Adams?
00:34:13Budovkin.
00:34:15Sorry, yes. I'm Mr. Adams and you're Mr. whoever you said you were.
00:34:20Well...
00:34:21Stop!
00:34:24Oh, sorry. I thought I'd forgotten something.
00:34:31this is fair.
00:34:54I don't know anything about golf, Tucker.
00:34:56But I know how to hold the bat.
00:34:58I don't know anything about golf, Tucker, but I know how to hold the bat.
00:35:23Shot, sir.
00:35:38So, what line of business are you in, Mr. Puddykin?
00:35:41I made my money in the removals business.
00:35:44Ah.
00:35:46A friend of mine had shares in the removals business.
00:35:49Titus Fisher.
00:35:50You haven't come across him at all?
00:35:53I warn you, Mr. Adams, not to stray into the rough.
00:35:56If you get in there, you might never come out.
00:35:59I'll bear that in mind, Mr. Puddykin.
00:36:02Puddykin, please.
00:36:05Oh!
00:36:12Hmm.
00:36:17Shot.
00:36:18As was my friend Fisher, actually.
00:36:22In the back.
00:36:26By his cleaner, of all people.
00:36:34But they didn't take much.
00:36:37Just a key.
00:36:45Break left to right, I think.
00:36:48It's three levels.
00:37:09In the trees.
00:37:14Come on.
00:37:18Oh, my God.
00:37:19He can't die.
00:37:20He mustn't die.
00:37:20Let's get out of here.
00:37:21Come on.
00:37:26He's not looking good, sir.
00:37:28We're getting you to a doctor.
00:37:31You'll be fine.
00:37:33You do not have to plan, sir.
00:37:35It was part of basic training.
00:37:37Good.
00:37:37It's just like riding a bike.
00:37:45Yes, it's all coming back to me.
00:38:07This is Helicopter Golf Hotel Zulu Zulu Tango.
00:38:11We have a casualty on board, request guidance to nearest hospital.
00:38:14Our location. She shot out the navigation system.
00:38:20Hang on.
00:38:30Run stock.
00:38:32Our location is run stock.
00:38:34What's the altitude?
00:38:37About 18 inches.
00:38:40Hello?
00:38:42Hello?
00:38:45Sorry.
00:38:46I'll just move.
00:38:49What now, sir?
00:38:50We'll have to stick to the road.
00:38:52Let's follow the 1328.
00:38:54There's bound to be a hospital in Dingham.
00:39:02Look after him, Tucker. Look after him.
00:39:10I think we're losing him, sir.
00:39:11We can't lose him, Tucker.
00:39:13He's our only lead.
00:39:14Try something else.
00:39:20Don't give up on us, baby.
00:39:24Lord knows we've come this far.
00:39:43Don't give up on us, baby.
00:39:46No!
00:39:46We can still come through.
00:39:52Don't give up on us, baby.
00:39:57Don't give up on us, baby.
00:40:00We can still come through.
00:40:05Look, sir.
00:40:06Follow the ambulance.
00:40:07Good idea.
00:40:10Don't give up on us, baby.
00:40:18Sir, sir, quickly.
00:40:23Karlenko.
00:40:25Karlenko!
00:40:32The second key of Vortex is KGB.
00:40:41Yes, CIA.
00:40:45Yes.
00:40:47Yes!
00:40:52MI7.
00:41:01Unbelievable.
00:41:04A vowel in MI7.
00:41:09A mole, sir.
00:41:11What?
00:41:13There's a mole in MI7.
00:41:16There's a mole and a vole.
00:41:19No, sir.
00:41:20There's a mole, not a vole.
00:41:23Well, I disagree.
00:41:24There's certainly a vole.
00:41:25I mean, we know that much.
00:41:27But what you're saying is there might be a mole as well.
00:41:32Pegasus.
00:41:34There's a meeting at MI7 with the Prime Minister.
00:41:43I'm here again.
00:41:44Eyes down and to the left, indicating dissent.
00:41:47With Jiang Ping, it's all about the eyes.
00:41:49Thank you, Miss Sumner.
00:41:50If the talks go ahead, I'd like you with us.
00:41:53Yes, Prime Minister.
00:41:55Good evening, gentlemen.
00:41:57Mr English.
00:41:58Miss Sumner.
00:42:01Right.
00:42:03So, when's the Prime Minister going to grace us with his presence?
00:42:07I'm the Prime Minister.
00:42:10Yeah, you wish.
00:42:20All right, so we're all here.
00:42:25These talks with China are of paramount importance.
00:42:29Rogue states in Southeast Asia have begun secretly to develop nuclear weapons.
00:42:33It is vital that we get China on side.
00:42:35Traditionally, China has been impervious to our concerns,
00:42:38but I believe Jiang Ping, given the opportunity, can and will help defuse this situation.
00:42:44Well, with his pro-West stance, it certainly offers an opportunity.
00:42:48The talks can't go ahead unless we can guarantee his safety.
00:42:51I believe with the correct security that we can.
00:42:54If Vortex is operational, it's just too dangerous.
00:42:57I'm inclined to agree, Prime Minister.
00:43:01There is a way.
00:43:03The Swiss are willing to lend us La Bastion.
00:43:07That's their government fortress in the Alps.
00:43:09It's a stunning example of architectural engineering at altitude.
00:43:13And completely impregnable.
00:43:16I mean, that should solve all our security issues.
00:43:20Then the talks go ahead.
00:43:22Pamela, I hope you've brushed up on your mandarin.
00:43:24I'd like you in the room with me.
00:43:25And your best man on security?
00:43:27Yes, Prime Minister.
00:43:31Where are we on Vortex?
00:43:34English.
00:43:36Vortex is three men.
00:43:37Fisher was one.
00:43:39Karlenko was another.
00:43:40Karlenko was killed today on the orders of the Third.
00:43:45Any leads?
00:43:46Yes, but I need time.
00:43:49We do not have time.
00:43:50We need to know the identity of the third person in Vortex.
00:43:59Give me 24 hours.
00:44:11Another bottle of Romney Conti?
00:44:13Of course.
00:44:14And would you like to choose dessert?
00:44:16Yes.
00:44:16You.
00:44:19Then bring two spoons.
00:44:25Cheers.
00:44:26Cheers.
00:44:27Cheers.
00:44:31So, come on, Johnny.
00:44:32What was it you wanted to ask me?
00:44:38Simon.
00:44:40Do you know what this is?
00:44:46Some sort of key?
00:44:48Karlenko and Fisher both had one.
00:44:51And they were both killed for them.
00:44:54Well, I'll give it to the boys at the lab.
00:44:58Karlenko told me that the third man in Vortex is in MI7.
00:45:11And you believed him?
00:45:14Simon, I have to ask you a question, face to face.
00:45:22Do you have any idea who it might be?
00:45:28Johnny.
00:45:29I thought you were about to accuse me.
00:45:32No!
00:45:33Honestly.
00:45:34What?
00:45:35Simon Ambrose, the evil mastermind.
00:45:37Don't stop it.
00:45:38The traitor in our midst.
00:45:39You!
00:45:39You!
00:45:41Oh, Simon, you are so funny.
00:45:43Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:45:44Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:45:45Get out of the box.
00:45:47Oh, dear.
00:45:51Would you excuse me for one moment, Simon?
00:46:07Sir.
00:46:07Tucker.
00:46:08Carthus is waiting.
00:46:09Sir, it's Ambrose.
00:46:11Yes, I know it's Ambrose.
00:46:12I've had anything dinner with him.
00:46:13No, he's the third man in Vortex.
00:46:17Simon Ambrose?
00:46:19He went to Eton.
00:46:23Ah, Simon.
00:46:25Leave it.
00:46:27What?
00:46:29What?
00:46:30Move.
00:46:30Come on, move.
00:46:32Tucker.
00:46:34You said you never knew Karlenko.
00:46:37That's right.
00:46:38Then how do you explain these?
00:46:41I had some to Karlenko's computer.
00:46:43You and him in Mozambique?
00:46:44Come on.
00:47:10Sometimes I have trouble myself, old boy.
00:47:13Save me.
00:47:30You're Vortex!
00:47:31You're the third man in Vortex!
00:47:33Tucker, this is ridiculous.
00:47:34Oops.
00:47:35Sorry, I'll be with you in just a tick-
00:47:37It's true.
00:47:37I was in Mozambique.
00:47:39What?
00:47:41I was there because of Patch.
00:47:43Quartermain. Patch? Oh, sorry, I'll just be one second. He's the man you're after.
00:47:51You're bluffing. Sorry. I work for a secret organization inside MI7 set up specifically to bring him in.
00:47:59A secret secret service? Oh, yeah, what's it called?
00:48:04What's it called?
00:48:08Armitage. A secret secret secret service called Armitage?
00:48:13We answer only to the PM.
00:48:17It's extraordinary, Armitage. Indeed it is.
00:48:21That you'd think for one moment that I would fall for such a steaming pile of old baloney.
00:48:29Well done, Tucker. You're not spy of the month for nothing.
00:48:32Thank you, sir. Here, let me take that.
00:48:35Now go home.
00:48:37What? You're the one talking baloney. You're in way over your head, boy. Now run along.
00:48:43No, I won't go, sir. He's lying.
00:48:46You've let me down. You've let the service down. And frankly, I think you've let yourself down.
00:48:51Well, I...
00:48:52Now get out.
00:48:59Patch Quartermain, of all people, blowing his own legs off. Now that's what I call deep cover.
00:49:06And to think how much I admired him.
00:49:08He hates you.
00:49:09Really?
00:49:10He always has.
00:49:11He thinks you're a moron with no place in MI7. A jumped-up grammar school nobody. That's why he tried
00:49:18to destroy you.
00:49:21Now, Johnny. Just because he ruined your life, that's no reason for you to go rogue and take him down
00:49:27on your own.
00:49:30God forbid I should put a crazy idea like that in your head.
00:49:35Good night, sir.
00:49:38Oh, Johnny. That key you showed me. You might need it to bring him in.
00:49:42Oh.
00:49:48What's up?
00:49:51Silly tit.
00:49:57Bingo.
00:50:01Range of meeting with our clan.
00:50:02Of course.
00:50:15Pegasus.
00:50:17We have the third man.
00:50:21It's Johnny English.
00:50:33Hello, Patch.
00:50:35Looking for forgiveness.
00:50:39It's all over for you now, English.
00:50:42It's the end of the line.
00:50:44Yes, you'd like that, wouldn't you, Patch?
00:50:47After all, I'm just a jumped-up grammar school nobody, aren't I?
00:50:51What are you talking about?
00:50:54I know that you are the third man in Vortex.
00:51:02No, Johnny.
00:51:04You are.
00:51:06No, you are.
00:51:07No, you are.
00:51:10Stand by all agents.
00:51:13And it all ends here.
00:51:19Take him.
00:51:22Yes.
00:51:24Fuck right.
00:51:25Fuck.
00:51:37Fine.
00:51:40Fuck.
00:51:42Whisper.
00:51:42Fuck.
00:51:59Johnny.
00:52:20Don't lose him.
00:52:21Go, go!
00:52:36Heading west into Vaughan Street.
00:52:37Mobilize all vehicles.
00:53:21You've lost him.
00:53:23I don't believe it.
00:53:37Oi, who do you think you are?
00:53:39No.
00:53:41I don't believe it.
00:54:13Gocha.
00:54:35I don't believe it.
00:54:38I don't believe it.
00:54:39I don't believe it.
00:54:44I don't believe it.
00:54:46I don't believe it.
00:54:47I don't believe it.
00:55:13I don't believe it.
00:55:16Get after him!
00:55:24I don't believe it.
00:55:35Kate.
00:55:36Kate, I'm not Vortex.
00:55:38I've been framed.
00:55:39You must believe it.
00:55:41Me?
00:56:07How will it be done?
00:56:12Same as in Mozambique.
00:56:14One person apparently working alone.
00:56:17Where have you chosen?
00:56:18Leave that with me.
00:56:23My account in Zurich.
00:56:25Five hundred million US dollars, as agreed.
00:56:42You've been out for hours.
00:56:54Ah!
00:56:54We were lucky it was just a flesh wound.
00:56:57Now look, I'm going to Switzerland tonight, but you can stay here while I'm gone.
00:57:03I've been going through the news footage from the night Sean Barr was killed.
00:57:08And there's something not right.
00:57:10Seconds after President Sean Barr was shot, the assassin collapses and dies.
00:57:14And the autopsy says heart failure.
00:57:17But, if you go through the classified CCTV footage...
00:57:25You alright?
00:57:27Yeah, fine.
00:57:29Take a look at this.
00:57:32Fifteen minutes before the assassination.
00:57:35Look, he's manic.
00:57:37He's completely lost control of his body.
00:57:40And then, suddenly, catatonic.
00:57:44Here?
00:57:46Wait.
00:57:47There.
00:57:49Someone was talking to him.
00:57:55I don't think he had any idea what he was doing.
00:57:58I think Vortex's secret weapon...
00:58:01Is a mind control drug.
00:58:04And only one fits the symptoms.
00:58:09Tamox...
00:58:11Tamoxiline...
00:58:13Tamoxiline...
00:58:13Barbarbutanil.
00:58:14The CIA ordered its destruction ten years ago.
00:58:17And the agent in charge of its disposal...
00:58:22Titus Fisher.
00:58:27I don't know how to thank you.
00:58:30I'd love a take-all.
00:58:33Consider it done.
00:58:37Flying low.
00:58:47So, Johnny, what are you going to do about Vortex?
00:58:51I don't know.
00:58:53If only Simon was here, he'd know what to do.
00:58:56Why do you think he's better than you?
00:58:58Well, the man's a god.
00:59:01Well, I prefer mortals.
00:59:05Pure, complicated, maddening mortals.
00:59:09I've come to realise that what's really exciting to me...
00:59:12Is great loyalty.
00:59:14Determination.
00:59:16Courage.
00:59:18You have always fascinated me.
00:59:20Clinically.
00:59:23But now...
00:59:26I...
00:59:27Miss Sumner...
00:59:28Your pupils are dilating.
00:59:31Are they?
00:59:34Your cheeks are colouring.
00:59:37Eye contact is deepening.
00:59:39Heart rate rising.
00:59:43Miss Sumner...
00:59:44I believe we're emotionally...
00:59:48Leaking.
00:59:52The bedroom, quickly.
00:59:54Absolutely.
00:59:55Now!
01:00:04Hello?
01:00:05Hello?
01:00:06Oh, Simon.
01:00:07Hi, Kate.
01:00:09You ready?
01:00:10I'll buy you the airport.
01:00:11Oh, how nice.
01:00:12I'll just get my bag.
01:00:18You alone?
01:00:20Of course.
01:00:21Been working.
01:00:22Been brushing up on the Chinese PM.
01:00:25You?
01:00:26We're trying to track down Johnny English.
01:00:31There's some questions we want to ask him.
01:00:33About Vortex.
01:00:35Don't suppose you've seen him, have you?
01:00:37No!
01:00:39Not hiding him away?
01:00:41Not my type.
01:00:44Shall we?
01:00:45Mm-hmm.
01:01:09Mm-hmm.
01:01:10No!
01:01:13No!
01:01:16No!
01:01:18No!
01:01:19No!
01:01:20No!
01:01:22No!
01:01:23No!
01:01:24Ambrose!
01:01:47I don't know.
01:01:55I don't know.
01:02:51I don't know.
01:03:04I don't know.
01:03:12I don't know.
01:03:18I don't know.
01:03:32I don't know.
01:03:48I don't know.
01:03:51I don't know.
01:04:06I don't know.
01:04:23I don't know.
01:04:29I don't know.
01:04:46I don't know.
01:05:33I don't know.
01:05:44I don't know.
01:05:45I don't know.
01:05:45I don't know.
01:06:15I don't know.
01:06:19I don't know.
01:06:32I don't know.
01:06:34I don't know.
01:07:19I don't know.
01:07:24I don't know.
01:07:25I don't know.
01:07:35I don't know.
01:07:53I don't know.
01:08:04I don't know.
01:08:06I don't know.
01:08:09I don't know.
01:08:16I don't know.
01:08:25I don't know.
01:08:26I don't know.
01:08:53I don't know.
01:08:55I don't know.
01:08:58I don't know.
01:09:00I don't know.
01:09:08I'll take it from here, boys.
01:09:12I'll be right there.
01:09:15Let me see your ID.
01:09:17Um, excuse me.
01:09:20What the?
01:09:23Stop!
01:09:26Warning, this is a designated conflict zone.
01:09:30Ah!
01:09:31Oh!
01:09:33Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:09:36Sir?
01:09:38Sir?
01:09:55Thank you so much.
01:09:56You're welcome, Pegasus.
01:09:58Pegasus.
01:10:07Go on.
01:10:09Go on.
01:10:12Go on.
01:10:15Go on.
01:10:17Go on.
01:10:18What the hell is that?
01:10:26Sir?
01:10:28Sir?
01:10:31English!
01:10:33They're going to make you kill Xiangping.
01:10:36You're insane!
01:10:4081, thank God.
01:10:42He won't help you.
01:10:45He's the third member of Vortex, aren't you, Simon?
01:10:51Here's to give you some Tamoxibubububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububub
01:11:05to make you obey his every command.
01:11:15I'm intrigued, Simon.
01:11:18How exactly were you going to administer it?
01:11:26By injection?
01:11:33Some hideous gas through the air vents.
01:11:42Or by spiking her drink.
01:11:47Tamoxilin barbabutinol.
01:11:53The length of the manic phase any moment now.
01:11:59I have to warn you that I've been trained to resist this kind of thing.
01:12:06You swine!
01:12:08Agent 1, what's going on?
01:12:09Oh, he's quite harmless at this phase.
01:12:12The drug will kill him, but just before it does,
01:12:14there'll be a short window where he'll do everything I tell him to.
01:12:25Poor Johnny.
01:12:27You were never really MI7, Johnny.
01:12:29You were never really one of us.
01:12:31And now you're about to become our most famous agent.
01:12:41You'll now do exactly as I tell you.
01:12:44You are a traitor to the service and to your country.
01:12:48Shut her up, old chap.
01:12:50Duck.
01:12:51What?
01:12:55I warned you.
01:12:57Okay, Slater.
01:12:58Let's get him ready.
01:13:03Ready.
01:13:04Premier Ping, it's a pleasure to finally meet you.
01:13:08You had a pleasant flight, I trust.
01:13:10I was just asking the...
01:13:12I mean, if he had a pleasant flight...
01:13:15Okay.
01:13:16Johnny's back on the team.
01:13:18What?
01:13:18Yeah.
01:13:19It's all checked out in the PM when the Chinese have approved it.
01:13:21Approved what?
01:13:22He's standing in for Pamela.
01:13:23Isn't it great?
01:13:33Excuse me.
01:13:36Agent...
01:13:37Tucker.
01:13:38Okay.
01:13:43Good.
01:13:44Good.
01:13:45And your wife is...
01:13:46Is well?
01:13:49Lock it up, Johnny.
01:13:53Wonderful.
01:13:54Wonderful.
01:13:54Please.
01:13:55That's it.
01:14:05Premier.
01:14:07I am most grateful you have agreed to meet me at this time.
01:14:13It is our pleasure.
01:14:18Maintain that tone, Prime Minister.
01:14:20Avoid confrontation.
01:14:21Keep eye contact.
01:14:23I can assure you that the Chinese people have always regarded...
01:14:26the British people as completely horrible.
01:14:31Honourable.
01:14:32Honourable.
01:14:34Completely honourable.
01:14:37Of course.
01:14:40I was very keen to meet...
01:14:59Johnny, stand up and go to the water table.
01:15:07Premier, I believe the present danger can be averted if we answer it.
01:15:11Go to your right pocket.
01:15:16We designed it for Pegasus.
01:15:18Where's too bloody late now?
01:15:24Just act natural.
01:15:38Prime Minister.
01:15:39Something's wrong.
01:15:40China does not spunk well to advise...
01:15:43Pull out the barrel.
01:15:44Pull out the barrel.
01:15:47Now, Johnny.
01:15:47I want you to kill...
01:15:49Zhang Ping.
01:15:52Oh dear God, no.
01:15:57He's being controlled.
01:15:58By whom?
01:16:00Ambrose.
01:16:02Shoot Zhang Ping.
01:16:08The mind must be muster of the body.
01:16:15He's resisting it.
01:16:18His left hand is fighting the right hand.
01:16:25Come on, Johnny.
01:16:28If I could interrupt the frequency, I could stop Ambrose from communicating with him.
01:16:31Ah!
01:16:47English, stand up.
01:16:54Come on, come on.
01:17:02You'll be dead in 50 seconds, son.
01:17:07Tucker!
01:17:08Come on.
01:17:10Pull the trigger!
01:17:12I'm in.
01:17:32Listen to me.
01:17:33This is Simon Ambrose and I order you to shoot Zhang Ping!
01:17:40Ten seconds, sir.
01:17:43Fire!
01:17:54Go, go, go!
01:17:56Time to get out of here.
01:18:02Hold your fire!
01:18:04Stand down!
01:18:05Come on!
01:18:29This palace is dropping.
01:18:30Don't lose him.
01:18:32Go down!
01:18:36Don't lose him!
01:18:41Go and consider him to chase him.
01:18:51Should I pass the dash quickly?
01:18:52I'm tired?
01:18:52Why do you five inches old feet?
01:18:59The next scenario is endless.
01:18:59A bitch rocks hide.
01:19:00She's rested from the inside.
01:19:00In box free for 10 or more,
01:19:00Should I-man?
01:19:13Open your heart, English, and you shall be reborn.
01:19:31Almost there.
01:19:59Thank you, Kate.
01:20:00I was passing.
01:20:02Sir. Tucker.
01:20:06Welcome back, sir.
01:20:08Thank you, Tucker.
01:20:09I won't kiss you if you don't mind.
01:20:10Well, whatever.
01:20:15Where's Ambrose?
01:20:28English?
01:20:29Sir?
01:20:30What are you doing, sir?
01:20:31Guideline 17-5.
01:20:33Never question a senior agent in the field.
01:20:35No!
01:20:36No!
01:20:37No!
01:20:37No!
01:20:49No!
01:20:51No!
01:20:52No!
01:20:56No!
01:21:19Not reference to me!
01:21:21Harer salary von 5 in a euro.
01:21:30To be continued...
01:22:10Rose, you five-star turd.
01:22:36Another ball's up, Johnny.
01:22:49What's the matter with you?
01:23:12It's all over, Ambrose.
01:23:15You can betray your country, you can cheat your friends, but you can't get away from Johnny.
01:23:38So long, Johnny!
01:23:45The D7.
01:23:48The bulletproof shield.
01:23:52It's not working.
01:23:54It's the T2, sir.
01:23:57It's the T2.
01:23:59Close it.
01:24:00Close it.
01:24:01It's the stupid thing!
01:24:14Oh, Johnny.
01:24:21The T2.
01:24:26Tucker.
01:24:28You clever boy.
01:24:48I couldn't be more delighted.
01:24:50Vortex's paymasters have been arrested and China has expressed its gratitude to both Britain
01:24:55and the service.
01:24:57We owe English a great deal.
01:25:03Reinstating his knighthood is a truly lovely gesture.
01:25:05And it'll mean the world to him.
01:25:09Her Majesty will be with him shortly.
01:25:11A Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
01:25:12T2.
01:25:13T4.
01:25:17T2.
01:25:17T2.
01:25:33T2.
01:25:38T1.
01:25:53Got you, got you.
01:26:06I've got you!
01:26:10I've just about had enough of you, you old cow!
01:26:14You're in no order!
01:26:16Pegasus!
01:26:17English!
01:26:18It's her! It's the killer cleaner!
01:26:20Finally, I've got her!
01:26:24You never know when I do it, do you?
01:26:28Over, over, over, over, over!
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