- 34 minutes ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:12I'm sorry, Mother. I still cannot hold the Trident.
00:19Do not despair, my son. You know the ancient law.
00:23The Relic will not answer until you unite with your destined love.
00:27It is the only way to unlock your full power.
00:31You must journey to the mortal realm and find her.
00:35Hear me, Poseidon. Among all your siblings, you alone remain unchosen by the Trident.
00:40It shall be done, Mother. I will not fail you.
01:17If a little dirt and rags repel them, they certainly don't deserve to be my destined mate.
01:31Jennifer, you're nothing but a blood-sucking leap.
01:34You ever pull a stunt like that again, I'll throw your ass straight back into that rat-infested teller.
01:42But, Father, I can't marry Paul. The guy is knocking on Seventy's door. He can't even stomach a boat ride
01:47anymore.
01:47I can earn that hundred gold pieces myself. Just cut me some slack.
01:51You don't get to call the shots here. You should be kissing Mr. Paul's feet for even looking at you.
01:57Your only job is keeping him happy. Don't make him regret dropping a hundred gold balls on you.
02:03Ah, Jen, Daddy picked out a fiancé for me, too. We're in the same boat.
02:08I'm sure Mr. Paul will treat you like royalty, just like my Ryan treats you.
02:11Are you kidding me? You're marrying a young, gorgeous guy and being pawned off to a 70-year-old geez
02:15with one foot in the grave
02:16and as his side piece, not his wife! It's not the same, Michelle!
02:21Shut your damn mouth, you ungrateful bitch!
02:23I've already pocketed Paul's gold. He's throwing in two ships once you're delivered.
02:27Like it or not, you are warming his bed tonight.
02:31If you actually force me into this, I swear to God I'll run off and become a nun.
02:36I'll pray every single day for the Almighty to punish you. You will rot in hell!
02:42Fine, Jennifer!
02:44You want to play hardball? I'll give you one last choice.
02:48If you're too good for Mr. Paul, then you can marry this stinking beggar right here, right now!
03:07Fine! Bring it on! I'll marry the beggar today!
03:14Hey, you pathetic piece of trash. Let's be real. You were destined to die alone in a gutter.
03:19But today's your lucky day. You won't say no to a free wife, right?
03:33Wait, she didn't even flinch at the sight of me? Looks like this mortal is built different.
03:39Yeah.
03:43I'd be absolutely honored to take her as my wife.
03:58Holy crap! I can't believe Mason actually pawned his own daughter off to that bottom-feeling tram.
04:02Jesus, look at the guy. He couldn't rub two pennies together if his life depended on it.
04:05Jennifer's in for a world of hurt.
04:10Father never gave a damn about me.
04:12He's a cold-blooded snake who only cares about my price tag.
04:17I'd rather tie the knot with a street rat than be auctioned off like meat.
04:21I am so done with this toxic hellhole.
04:26Hear what they're whispering, Jennifer?
04:28If my beggar routine gross you out, you can still walk away.
04:34No way.
04:35You might think I'm crazy, but...
04:38To me, you're a literal godsend.
04:43Let's get out of here, honey.
04:45I mean my dear husband.
04:56I'm sorry, Jennifer.
04:58What you see is what you get.
04:59No cozy honeymoon suite tonight.
05:01Just this beat-up, drafty old fishing boat.
05:03Hey, cut that out.
05:04We're hitched now, and I'm not looking down on you.
05:06For better or worse, we're in this ride together.
05:40I'm not looking down on you.
05:41Oh my god, what the hell just happened?
05:43Where did this insane crystal palaces come from?
05:54Don't sweat the details right now.
06:02Jennifer, my sweet.
06:03It's still our wedding night.
06:05Are you ready to give yourself to me?
06:10Absolutely.
06:11Like I said, we're husband and wife now.
06:19Trust me.
06:20I'm gonna make you the happiest woman on the planet.
06:27I see-
06:29I see-
06:30I see-
06:32I see-
06:54Lord Poseidon, sorry to crash the party, but Zeus is stuck in the Divine Labyrinth.
06:58The All-Mother needs you for a rescue op, Stat.
07:10Sweetheart, an emergency just came up and I've got to go.
07:12Don't panic, I'll be back in your arms in nine days, tops.
07:33Mother, what the hell happened?
07:35Why do I feel like I just woke up from a century-long fever dream?
07:40Poseidon, you're finally awake.
07:44Remember that ancient curse you tripped Bailing Zeus out?
07:48That's what knocked you out cold.
08:05Merciful Seas, the Trident actually accepted you?
08:10Don't tell me you finally tracked down the mortal whose head over heels for you.
08:23Spill it! Who is she?
08:26Just a regular mortal girl.
08:29But to me, she's everything.
08:32We're already married, Mother.
08:34If it weren't for that damn curse, I'd have paraded her up to Olympias ages ago.
08:39Praise the oceans!
08:41Listen to me, kiddo. Go fetch her right this second.
08:45I am literally dying to meet this girl.
08:49Say less, Mother. Consider it done.
08:52Hold on, Poseidon. There's a catch.
08:54You've been in that coma for nine whole years.
08:59Which means...
09:00That poor girl has been waiting for you for nine solid years!
09:05Are you kidding?
09:06I ghosted Jennifer for nine fucking years?
09:09No, this is beyond messed up.
09:10I need to get down there right now.
09:26Ugh, too basic.
09:27Go raid the Divine Vault for the Golden Apples.
09:30I need to absolutely blow this girl's mind.
09:34Actually, scratch that.
09:35I'm crashing the mortal realm to roll out the red carpet myself.
09:54It's been nine goddamn years.
09:57How much longer is it going to take for him to show his face again?
10:00Jennifer!
10:01Why the hell is my chamber pot from yesterday still sitting there?
10:08I'm literally scrubbing the clothes you and Father just dumped on me.
10:11I'll get to it!
10:12You brainless cow!
10:14The goddamn stench ruined my dresses!
10:16I let you and your two little bastards crash here!
10:18I feed you!
10:19And you can't even handle one basic chore?
10:21Hey, back the hell off.
10:23This is my house, too.
10:25Ah!
10:27You have no right to run your mouth at me!
10:29Those brats of yours are just like you!
10:32Ungrateful, blood-sucking parasites!
10:34Mom!
10:37You know damn well the kids and I bust our asses.
10:39Look around!
10:40We're the only ones keeping this damn house from falling apart!
10:46That's because doing the grunt work is exactly what you filthy roaches were born to do!
10:52Back off!
10:53Don't you dare touch our mother!
10:59You filthy little street rat bastards!
11:01That's what you get for running your mouths at Lady Jessica!
11:04You freaks should have been chucked in the ocean at birth!
11:07Strip them, douse them in ice water, and lock them in the stables!
11:10Sneak them a single crumb, and they'll be hell to pay!
11:14Chill, Mom.
11:16Don't forget Ryan's chauffeuring us to the Temple of Poseidus.
11:19Just make these useless peasants haul the offerings.
11:22Shake a leg and get in the damn carriage!
11:24We can't keep my big-shot son-in-law waiting!
11:45This is seriously creeping me out.
11:47Why does this temple feel so warm and familiar?
11:56Wait, that era.
11:58The bloodline of the sea god?
12:00How the hell did it end up here?
12:07Oh, almighty lord of the sea, we offer these tributes with the purest intentions.
12:13Bless our merchant fleets and bring us great fortune.
12:17Stop standing around like idiots!
12:19Your only job right now is to pray to the sea god to protect Ryan's fleet!
12:24Honestly, letting gutter trash like you even breathe in the direction of the sea god is a massive privilege.
12:30Keep dragging your feet, and I'll assume you're itching for the stables.
12:34Maybe if I pray to the statue, it'll actually bring my husband back safely.
12:41No!
12:42Stop!
12:43We cannot bear the worship of the heirs of the sea god!
12:48Oh, great sea god, please just let my husband come home soon.
12:52Oh, great sea god, please just let our dad come home safely.
13:21What the actual hell just happened?
13:24Why did the statues just nuke themselves?
13:30Somebody seriously pissed off the sea god!
13:33His rage just blew those statues to smithogreens!
13:43If the sea god is throwing a tantrum, anyone who makes a dime off the ocean is screwed!
13:49God damn it!
13:51Who has the absolute stones to piss off the sea god?
13:53If the ocean slaps a curse on us, our entire cash flow goes down the toilet!
13:59Listen up, people!
14:00It has to be them!
14:01Their filthy bastard bloodline completely rash the temple's vibe!
14:05So it was you, three little rats!
14:07Growl for forgiveness right this minute, or I swear to God your lives are going to be a waking nightmare!
14:15Son of a bitch!
14:17How dare they treat the heirs to the sea like garbage?
14:20We're stuck in phantom mode and can't do shit!
14:22Keto, ping Lord Poseidon right now!
14:25No!
14:26My kids' blood isn't filthy!
14:28We literally haven't done a single thing wrong, so why the hell would the sea god be pissed
14:32at us?
14:33This is absolute bullshit!
14:34Shut your mouth, peasant!
14:36Grab them!
14:36Burn them at the stake!
14:38The only way to calm the sea god's rage is absolute agony!
15:02Holy crap, it's Lord Poseidon!
15:09Stand down!
15:19Hold up, did anyone else just hear that?
15:23Damn it, we're too far!
15:25Poseidon can't manifest here!
15:26Just hang on a little longer!
15:28My lady, little ones, you gotta believe me!
15:30He's coming!
15:32Burning them ain't enough for the sea god.
15:35He's sending us a sign.
15:38Father, word is the sea god skins traitors alive,
15:41packs their raw flesh with boiling sand and crushed shells,
15:44turning them into gravel to walk on for eternity.
15:47Father, my kids and I are innocent.
15:50The real sinners are these sick freaks putting their hands on children!
15:54Oh, so the sea god's pissed at us?
15:55His biggest believers?
15:57Bullshit!
15:57I dump cash and prayers on his altar every year,
16:00while you, you filthy peasant, ain't cocked up shit!
16:02Zip it, Jennifer!
16:04You're a completely lost cause!
16:08Mom!
16:09Mom!
16:14Look, Jen, I didn't want to get my hands dirty,
16:17but you brought the sea god's haul down on us.
16:19Skinning you alive is the only way we're buying our ticket out of this.
16:25Back off, you ugly witch!
16:27Don't you dare lay a finger on our mom!
16:36You little maggots!
16:38This is what happens when you piss off the sea god!
16:42You're not dragging our whole family to hell with you!
16:52You dirty little bastards!
16:55Don't think for a second you're dragging us down with you!
17:00No!
17:01Michelle, let go of my kid!
17:04My kid!
17:05I'll take the hit!
17:06Just don't touch them!
17:10Jennifer!
17:11This is your goddamn fault!
17:13If you hadn't hitched your wagon to that filthy street rat
17:16and pout these bastards,
17:17we wouldn't be in this mess!
17:19No, put this all on me!
17:22Chris and Sophia are good kids!
17:24They're your own flesh and blood!
17:26For God's sake, you can't do this!
17:28Get the hell off me!
17:30I don't have any filthy grandchildren!
17:31What the hell are you brain-dead idiots waiting for?
17:34Getting them alive already!
17:42These mortals...
17:43No!
17:44No!
17:45These monsters!
17:46How dare they stoop this low!
17:50Screw it!
17:52I'm taking my true form to save the heirs!
18:00Thamas, stop!
18:01You know the rules!
18:03If you manifest in the mortal realm,
18:05you break the law of fate!
18:07You'll be wiped from existence!
18:14Get your filthy hands off my kids!
18:24Do it like this!
18:26Put your backs into it!
18:27If you let these little rats slip because you grew a conscience,
18:30I'll sell your asses to the galleys!
18:38I can't stomach this anymore!
18:40Even if it vaporizes my soul,
18:42I am saving those heirs!
18:48Wait, Samus!
18:50I feel the power of the sea god!
19:09Back the hell off!
19:20Look!
19:21It's Lord Poseidon's!
19:23The boss is actually back!
19:28Jennifer, sweetheart, I'm here!
19:30I am so sorry I let you go through this hell!
19:33It's really you?
19:34Thank God he actually brought you back to me!
19:38Look!
19:38This is Chris and Sophia!
19:41Our kids!
19:43Dad!
19:44We totally knew it was you!
19:47You actually came back!
19:48What in the hell just happened?
19:51Jesus!
19:51How'd I end up eating dirt?
19:54Father, forget that look over there!
19:56That filthy beggar is back!
19:58Talk!
20:00Right now!
20:01Who did this?
20:03Which one of you sick freaks had the balls to touch Jennifer and my kids?
20:07You don't get to question us!
20:08Jennifer and your two little roaches pissed off the sea god!
20:12They brought this shitstorm on us!
20:14As their father, you should be paying for their sins with your life!
20:18Almighty sea god, please forgive us!
20:20These four impure wretches aren't part of our family!
20:23Don't lump us in with their sins!
20:25I'll skin them and burn them alive right now to appease your rage!
20:35You absolute clowns!
20:37You keep running your mouths about my family pissing off the sea god without realizing I am the sea god!
20:59You don't even know why.
21:00Oh great sea god!
21:04Please forgive us!
21:06Oh great sea god!
21:06Mason and his screwed up family pulled the strings!
21:08We're innocent!
21:09Don't buy his bullshit!
21:10Open your eyes!
21:12It's just a cheap dark magic trick!
21:14If the real sea god was here, we'd all be dead meat.
21:17He actually has the balls to impersonate the sea god.
21:21If the real god finds out we worship the damn warlock, we're cooked.
21:24We gotta skin this freak and his family alive before anyone finds out.
21:28You arrogant, brain-death mortals.
21:31You tortured my wife and kids.
21:34So now, I'm thing Terrive. I'm bringing down the ocean's wrath.
21:39I'll give you a front-row seat to exactly who you're messing with.
21:49No freaking way.
21:51Is this filthy beggar actually the sea god?
22:01Ha! Look at that! I totally called it!
22:05This filthy street rat is a complete fraud!
22:16What the hell is happening to my hand?
22:34What the hell is happening to my hand?
22:43The ocean is playing dress up with his name!
22:45Help me pin this bastard down and finish him!
22:48Step on it!
22:49If we don't string them up right now, the sea god is gonna wipe us off the map!
22:53The ocean will swallow us whole!
22:55Freeze!
22:57Look! He's running on fumes!
22:59Now's our window to take this warwick out!
23:02What the hell is going on?
23:05Enough!
23:06I'll let it slide you got played earlier.
23:08But from this second on, if you touch my wife and kids, I'll rain literal hellfire on you!
23:14You gullible morons.
23:16Everyone knows Jennifer hitched a beggar nine years ago, like the sea-dotted would moo light as a tramp, like
23:24he'd knock up a slut like Jennifer and just poop into thin air.
23:27I bet my bottom dollar this rat spent the last nine years grinding dark magic, haha!
23:35Damn straight.
23:37A true god is untouchable.
23:39You hack this warlock to pieces.
23:43And I'll toss you ten gold coins right here, right now.
24:01Un-freakin'-believable.
24:04The guy's literally made of steel.
24:10Almighty sea god, please forgive your cluteless blind believers.
24:15You unrepentant mortals.
24:18You actually tried to weaponize my own followers against me?
24:22You vicious brain-dead clowns.
24:26Time to face the music!
24:32Holy crap, he really is the sea god!
24:35We are dead meat!
24:40What just happened?
24:41Why am I running on empty?
24:42No, the coma.
24:44I've burned through all my divine mocha fighting off that damn curse for nine years.
24:51This damn sorcerer is gaslighting us with illusion!
24:54We need to get the high priest down here to wreck him!
24:57You absolute idiots!
24:59Do you seriously think this washed-up bum is the sea god?
25:03He's just a wicked warlock!
25:05If he was actually Poseidon, he wouldn't be this pathetic!
25:09It's an ancient curse.
25:11I tanked my powers fighting it off.
25:13That's why I'm weakened.
25:14You brain-dead sheep!
25:16Only morons swallow a lie that pathetic.
25:19Anyone who sides with this warlock has catched hell when the real god finds out.
25:31Shut the hell up!
25:33Who's got the nerve to impersonate the sea god under my roof?
25:43A little birdie told me some crack-pop in here is parading around calling himself the sea god.
25:50Your Holiness, it's this wicked warlock.
25:52He's using dark magic to fake being the sea god and scam our tributes.
25:56High Priest, you're the only hotline to the sea god.
25:59If he was really coming down, he'd have given you a heads up.
26:08I haven't heard a damn thing thing about the sea god coming down.
26:12You're just some two-bit sorcerer using cheap magic to play god.
26:17The high priest is his top servant.
26:20This guy really is just a fraud putting on a cheap magic act.
26:24Make him pay!
26:28Thank god for the high priest.
26:31We almost bought the scam.
26:33The sea god would have been pissed.
26:36And we'd be dead meat.
26:40What a joke.
26:41I don't have some mortal messenger down here.
26:44He's full of shit.
26:45You arrogant little speck.
26:47Did you really think you could hijack my name without facing my wrath?
26:50You son of a bitch!
26:52How dare you slander me!
26:54I'm tossing your ass in the dungeon and executing you myself!
26:57Oh!
27:00Oh!
27:02Oh!
27:03Oh!
27:03Oh!
27:04Oh!
27:04Oh!
27:05Oh!
27:19Holy crap!
27:20What's happening?
27:21The high priest just got zapped by lightning!
27:23Is that guy actually the sea god?
27:29Bullshit!
27:31Impossible!
27:32Yeah, that was the sea god's wrath!
27:34Warning me!
27:35Because you spinless cowards are dragging your feet!
27:39Letting this goddamn warlock run free in his temple!
27:43Oh, it was his wrath, all right.
27:45But who do you think called it down?
27:48Listen up!
27:49Defy the sea god!
27:51And you'll get worse than lightning!
27:54He'll unleash a tidal wave and wash every last traitor straight to hell!
28:10Ignorant sheep!
28:26No freaking way!
28:36No freaking way!
28:38Even running on a fraction of my power, you bottom feeders couldn't lay a finger on my family.
28:46Guys, listen.
28:47There is zero chance he's the sea god.
28:49Since when does a god fall for a random munal?
28:51It's a joke!
28:52He's a cheap warlock!
28:54Hold the line!
28:55Did you idiots forget his orders?
28:57Want to get swallowed by a tidal wave?
28:59We're dead meat if you back down!
29:02But his voodoo is too strong!
29:04We can't even dent this freakish water wall!
29:08Bullshit!
29:09Every trick has a loophole!
29:11Hurl every sharp object we've got!
29:12Something's bound to bust this cheap-ass force mailed...
29:22You just whipped up a freaking magical shield out of thin air?
29:26Are you actually the sea god?
29:30You bet he is, sweetie.
29:32Your dad would never lie to you.
29:36All right, if standard weapons can't cut through this voodoo, it's time to bring out the big gun.
29:43Watch and weep, warlock!
29:46I don't care how strong your mojo is.
29:49It ain't surviving the sea god's anchor!
29:51I don't care!
29:57Trident, shield Jennifer!
30:11Trident, shield Jennifer!
30:23are you kidding me how did the sea god's anchor snap like a twig who the hell are you
30:31i warned you you absolute fools open your damn eyes this is the trident the ultimate symbol
30:37of the ocean and i am its master poseidon the sea god the sea god he actually is the sea
30:45god
30:46sweet jesus what the hell have i done
30:50you've hijacked my name to scam my believers for years just to line your own pockets that is an
30:57unforgivable sin
31:05no almighty sea god mercy william brain masked us we never wanted to hurt your family
31:12lord decided please spare us jennifer these monsters put you and the kids through absolute hell
31:19it's your call how do you want me to finish them no jennifer my precious daughter don't do this
31:26you know me i would never truly hurt you okay i screwed up i admit it but i see the
31:32light now
31:32we share the same blood we're family please jennifer don't let him wipe us off the map over a grudge
31:39think of the kids exactly jennifer my sweet sister we share the same blood i swear to god i'll never
31:47pull this shit again please cut us a break
31:55honey i'm not a monster like them they still share blood with our kids
32:00i won't plant that toxic seed of hatred in chris and sophia's heads
32:04let's just walk away i just want a peaceful life
32:29well look at you gorgeous
32:32you must be my boy poseidon's wife absolutely stunning
32:49mother oh my goodness and who are these two adorable little monkeys
32:57mother these are the kids jennifer gave me pretty cute right grandma grandma
33:05are you kidding me nobody told me i hit the absolute jackpot
33:12i packed way too light but don't worry darlings grandma's gonna spoil you rotten once we get home
33:23what the actual hell
33:26i've never seen this much gold
33:30one single gem off those chests could buy out our entire fleet
33:39come along my precious grandbabies
33:42let grandma show you how we do real gifts
34:06take a look kiddos a little welcome gift from grandma
34:10what do you think
34:11we'd love anything you give us grandma
34:14but there's literally nothing here
34:41whoa this is freaking awesome
34:44oh it melts my heart to see you love it
34:48thanks a million grandma
34:49jennifer my dear
34:51slap on this pearl necklace and you'll literally never age
34:55this bracelet makes you bulletproof to disease
34:57and this ring calls down lightning on demand
35:00just a little welcome to the family starter pack
35:02no way mother these are priceless i can't accept them
35:08oh my god i am so so sorry i swear it slipped jessica used to beat me black and blue
35:14just for breaking a cheap bowl
35:15now i've shattered something priceless from the sea god's mother
35:18she's gonna skin me alive
35:20hey deep breaths jennifer relax
35:24remember mother gave those to you
35:25they're yours now
35:26you can smash every last one of them if it makes you happy
35:33oh sweetheart no this is 100% on me
35:36i totally forgot that necklace is so packed with magic it shatters on impact
35:41i can't believe i almost gave you a heart attack
35:43bad grandma
35:44jennifer honey stop walking on eggshells
35:47chuck this bling at the wall for fun
35:48break it all bring fresh batches until you realize you're one of us
35:53thank you mother
35:55hold on poseidon where's your gift
35:57this poor girl went through nine years of hell because you face planted into a coma
36:00treat her like royalty or i'll personally kick your ass to the curb
36:04mother chill
36:05i already hooked jennifer up with a massive gift back at my palace i just didn't bring it because
36:10i was rushing to save her
36:13i'll grab it the second we kept breather babe
36:18hold the phone i brought a little something for my new sister-in-law too
36:27look i'm really sorry jennifer this whole disaster is basically my fault
36:31you and the kids got dragged through the mud because of me
36:34consider this a my bad care package a massive dose of raw divine power
36:38zeus you absolute meathead did you completely forget
36:41jennifer is still 100% human her mortal body can't tank raw divine power yet
36:46uh crap
36:48my bad jennifer
36:49i totally dropped the ball on that one brain frat
36:52hand it over
36:55i'll just convert your raw power into a mountain of jewelry for jennifer to make up for your screw up
37:01jennifer our wedding down here was pretty bare spoon and my family missed it
37:04let's do a massive blowout invite the whole pantheon to shower you and the kids with blessings
37:09sorry honey can we skip the blowout
37:11chris sophia and i are literally nobodies
37:14we'd stick out like sarathy's partying with actual gods
37:18i'm just really freaked out are they gonna act like aunt michelle and beat us up for being trash
37:22we don't need them
37:24just you and dad is enough
37:29my poor sweet babies you've been through the wrencher
37:31listen to grandma okay
37:33that nightmare is over
37:35none of my kids are toxic snobs like that
37:37they'll treat you like absolute royalty
37:38damn right
37:39i guarantee they'll welcome you with open arms
37:41and if you're still spooked
37:43i swear on my life
37:44as long as i'm breathing
37:45nobody lays a finger on you
37:47okay bestiden
37:48i trust you
37:59the wedding dress is the main event
38:01and these mortal rags are tragically basic
38:05even top tier royal outfits aren't good enough for our jennifer
38:14grandma
38:14i brought the wardrobe
38:23jennifer
38:24go nuts
38:25pick out absolutely anything you want
38:28up here
38:29we use magic power like cash
38:31and zeus's apology fund is basically a bottomless black card
38:36unreal
38:39it's so insanely soft
38:42i've been stuck in patched up potato sacks my whole life
38:45i'm actually allowed to wear this
38:51obviously
38:51but zeus specifically ordered that your actual wedding outfits be custom made by yours truly
39:02hey jennifer look at me
39:03by the almighty ocean
39:05my beautiful wife
39:07how did you get so breathtakingly gorgeous
39:09mom you look insanely pretty
39:11i had zero clue you were this stunning jennifer and your kids are adorable
39:15look i whipped up 200 everyday outfits on the fly
39:18just rock these around the palace
39:19this is just
39:20thank you so so much
39:22we absolutely love it
39:26don't mention it
39:26but hey grandma
39:28jennifer and the kids are practically skin and bones
39:30we need to put some meat on them
39:32hestia's actually been cooking up a storm
39:34pretty sure she's en route with a massive feast
39:36just for jennifer and the kids
39:38she even called dibs on catering the wedding
39:40you guys seriously don't have to go all out for me like this
39:42this is way too much
39:44jennifer
39:45you've raised two kids solo
39:46while getting stomped on by monsters
39:48listen to me
39:49you need to seriously carb load
39:51damn right
39:51your health is the only thing i care about
39:53don't fight us
39:54just be a good girl
39:55and eat up
40:02hey there jennifer come on over
40:04dig in and let me know what hits the spot
40:15awesome
40:16i didn't even know food could taste this freaking good
40:24come on jennifer let your husband pamper you for a second
40:26say ah
40:44hope you like the setup babe
40:46mother went totally overboard
40:48if you hate any of it just say the word
40:50i'll tear it down and start from scratch
40:51no sweat
40:51oh don't even worry about it honey
40:54i'm obsessed with it
40:57jennifer
40:59mother's got chris and sophia for the night
41:01so we've got the place to ourselves
41:03what do you say we go for baby number three
41:06oh honey no
41:09three kids
41:09i'd lose my mind trying to handle all of them
41:12babe you're married to the sea god
41:14even if we're swamped my mom and siblings are right next door
41:17our kids will never be alone
41:21plus my niece
41:22is literally the goddess of childbirth
41:24i'd put her on speed dial
41:25you wouldn't feel a thing
41:27all right all right
41:29you're the boss
41:48god jennifer
41:49you're just as breathtaking as the day we married
42:02grandma
42:02where's mom
42:04she's the vip today
42:06why is she mia
42:07hold on a minute kiddo
42:10let's go track down your dad
42:12and figure this out
42:15hey
42:15why the hold up with jennifer
42:18did we hit a snag
42:21well jennifer and i didn't get any sleep
42:23until the sun came up
42:24she's dead to the world
42:25so i figured i'd let her rest
42:26i just slipped out
42:28freaking believable
42:29the wedding is literally about to start
42:31could you really not keep it in your pants for one night
42:33all right mother chill
42:34i'm gonna get her right now
42:44holy crap poseidon actually let me sleep in
42:47it's our damn wedding day
42:48i'm gonna be so late
42:49i gotta sprint
42:57mother playing favorites as always
43:01giving a punk like poseidon a palace
43:04this sick
43:16i'm real
43:18what's an absolute dime like you doing hiding out in a place like this
43:23hey gorgeous
43:24hades
43:25god of the underworld
43:26ditch this snooze fest and come be my queen
43:29yeah hard pass
43:30not interested
43:37cute
43:38but that's not really your call to make sweetheart
43:47back off
43:59hades what the hell do you think you're doing
44:06well color me shocked
44:08who'd have guessed a stunner like this was hitched to a meathead like you
44:17hades if we didn't share a mother i'd gut you where you stand
44:26what the hell is going on here
44:30hades how did i raise such a scumbag
44:33apologize to jennifer
44:34right now
44:36right now
44:37my bad jennifer didn't know who you were take half my divine power as a peace offering
44:41it'll make you completely immortal
44:43just let it slide mother the wedding's starting let's not waste another second on this creep
44:56in the name of the sea god
44:58in the name of the sea god i swear jennifer is my one and only wife
45:01from this day forward she shares the full power of the ocean with me
45:04i swear on my life to be completely faithful to poseidon
45:09until my last breath
45:21mom and dad are gonna live happily ever after with us
45:40grandma mom only wakes up on time when we're around
45:43we want to have a sleepover with mom
45:49all right my sweet little angels let it go
45:51your dad's got your mom on lockdown tonight
46:02honey thank you for giving me such a warm happy home
46:05this place is everything i've ever dreamed of
46:12if you know love it here
46:13we'll just put down roots
46:16honestly the only things worth a damn back at my palace are your gifts anyway
46:20i'll swing by and haul them over tomorrow
46:34i won't break my promise this time i swear
46:37three days tops
46:40and this little toy boat
46:41if you run into trouble
46:43just crush it and i'll be there in a heartbeat
46:54and this barrier
46:56unless you say so
46:58it'll bounce every single person trying to get in
47:03stay safe out there honey
47:07dad hurry back so we can play
47:25this is it
47:26look at this place
47:27hades better not be playing us
47:29he swore if we pull this off he'd bring our family's empire back from the dead
47:36hell no he wouldn't
47:38he's the god of the underworld
47:41the sea god basically nuked our family
47:43lord hades is our only lifeline
47:53over here
47:55bet you can't catch us
47:56chris sofia slow down you're gonna eat dirt
47:59we don't care if we get hurt
48:02when dad gets back he can patch us up in seconds
48:09yuho jennifer come look who's here
48:12why the hell is the door locked
48:15we're your flesh and blood
48:17don't tell me you got amnesia already
48:20nice try but that ain't happening
48:26son of a bitch
48:28hades called it
48:29the sea god rigged this place with a force field
48:32our only play is to guilt track jennifer into opening the damn door
48:36jennifer i know you're listening
48:38are you brain dead
48:41we put a roof over your head when you had nothing
48:45now we're homeless
48:47you owe us
48:55cut the crap
48:56you made my life a living hell back then
48:58don't act like you did me a favor
49:01jennifer i'm your own flesh and blood
49:04are you just gonna watch me get hunted down every day
49:08your husband is the freaking sea god
49:11a few table grafts could save our family
49:14yeah jennifer
49:15just bail us out this once
49:18consider it rent for housing you
49:21we swear we'll never bother you again
49:25get a grip jennifer
49:27stop giving them handouts
49:30but
49:31if a little cash gets rid of these leeches for good maybe it's worth it
49:40you better keep your word
49:41take the money and don't ever show your faces around here again
49:49are you really that dense jennifer i've literally never played it straight with you
50:05jennifer
50:06those goddamn merchants are psychos
50:09they robbed us blind took your gold and now they want us dead
50:12please open the damn door
50:15jennifer they only went psycho because you're the sea god's wife
50:19this is 100% on you
50:21you can't leave us out here to get butchered
50:27i'm dead serious jennifer the merchant and his goons are right on our ass
50:32if you don't let us in you're signing our death warrants
50:35jennifer you really gonna watch your father get slaughtered
50:37make your mother a widow
50:38if word gets out she raised a heartless monster
50:41society will destroy her
51:04how'd you score a pad like this anyway
51:06get off your ass and hand this house over to us
51:09we gave you a place to crash now you owe us a house
51:13do i seriously have to cry for poseidon to bail me out again
51:18no i can't keep dragging him into my messes
51:28unreal look at this motherlod
51:30father could hustle his whole life and never see this kind of cash
51:35trash like jennifer doesn't deserve this
51:37we do
51:42check out this palace
51:43the bling is nice but the real estate is the real jackpot
51:46we gotta get our names on that deed
51:48you brain dead idiots
51:50did you forget hades orders
51:51move your asses
51:52chuck that bitch jennifer out onto the street
51:58right
51:58lord hades promised us a mountain of cash if we pull this off
52:01what the heck do you think you're doing
52:03when dad finds out he's gonna wipe the floor with you
52:06yeah
52:07you stupid jerks
52:09if you touch mom dad is gonna destroy you
52:13give me a break
52:14how's the sea god gonna react when he finds out his precious wife banged his own brother
52:19he'll either boot her
52:20or drown her ass
52:25no
52:25father why are you doing this to me
52:45not bad at all
52:46like we agree
52:47i'm gonna reward you freaks very handsome
52:51you're the best lord hades
52:54thank you
52:56get your hands off her
53:05get your hands off her
53:21i gave you your chance
53:23hades
53:28jennifer
53:29you were in real danger
53:31why didn't you call me
53:34honey i'm so sorry
53:36i just didn't want to dump another mess on your plate
53:38i'm just a useless mortal
53:40i can't keep dragging you down
53:43look at me babe we're married
53:46nothing in this universe matters more than you
53:49i already missed nine years
53:55come hell or high water
53:56you're never facing anything alone again
54:02i get it honey
54:03i promise
54:12and as for these psychos
54:15they've crossed the line too many times
54:18even if you want to give them a pass
54:20i'm gonna slaughter every last one of them
54:29almighty sea god please
54:31you've got it all wrong
54:32we only broke in
54:34because we caught jennifer
54:35that absolute slut
54:36hooking up with another guy
54:39we were protecting your honor
54:40exactly
54:41if we hadn't showed up
54:43she'd be all over some other dude
54:45honestly you should be thanking us
54:47you're all sick in the head
54:49i'm gonna wipe you off the face of the earth
54:52and i'm gonna get it all over it
54:54what is that?
55:01what is that?
55:31Poseidon, you gullible idiot.
55:34I pushed your buttons and you practically hand-delivered your own divine weapon to me.
55:38Did you skip Godhood 101?
55:40If a bonded weapon gets corrupted by a god on my level, the backlash tears the owner apart.
55:49Look, brother, I don't want to end you.
55:52Just hand over your sweet little wife and I'll let you walk.
56:00Come on, Jennifer.
56:02Doesn't it tear you apart watching him squirm like a bug?
56:07Poseidon, please, get up!
56:09Jennifer, get over here.
56:10Give yourself to me and I'll pull the plug on his torture.
56:15Don't listen to him, Jennifer.
56:19Get over here, Jennifer.
56:21Or I swear, I'm going to erase Poseidon from existence right now.
56:27Don't.
56:28Jennifer, listen to me.
56:30If you don't want to watch his brain melt into pudding, get over here.
56:34Right now.
56:35Please, just stop hurting Poseidon.
56:42I'll do it.
56:44I agree to whatever you want.
56:47Poseidon, please take good care of our kids and my mother.
57:08You lay a finger on my woman, Hades, and I will show you exactly what a blood debt looks like.
57:15Come on, Andrew.
57:15Okay, please.
57:15Better to get it away.
57:15The second time.
57:17What?
57:18This one week.
57:18Let's push away somewhere.
57:18Ever to get over here?
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