- 22 minutes ago
The Chaotic Brass Teapot - Short Drama Full HD 720p
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Short filmTranscript
00:00I swear, I just money would literally fall from the sky right now.
00:13Listen to me, Mae. If we don't find $1,200 by tomorrow, we'll be living in a cardboard box.
00:18And knowing our luck, it won't even be an Amazon Prime box.
00:20I told you buying that fake Gucci bag was a bad investment.
00:26It's an investment piece, Mae. It projects wealth.
00:30Which is exactly what you didn't do when you bought this piece of junk.
00:33It was $3. It looked lonely.
00:37I just wanted to clean it up and maybe put some cheap daisies in it.
00:43I gotta go make back that dollar.
00:53Ouch! Great! Now I have Tefanis!
00:55I swear, I just money would literally fall from the sky right now
00:58so we could pay the damn rent.
01:09You kissed a dirty pot and made $50?
01:12Honey, I've kissed worse for a lot less. Let me try.
01:19Error. Your lip gloss contains cheap petroleum. Access denied.
01:23Did that thrift store trash can just fat shame my make-up?
01:26Chloe, we have a possessed teapot. It talks and it brought us dirty laundromat money.
01:40Brent!
01:42Open the door, you broke idiot!
01:45I know you're in there!
01:46Oh yeah, Brenda, you're so much better than my wife. Her me-love tastes like sadness.
01:55Look at him.
01:58Trust fun baby.
01:59If we could just pawn his watch, we'd eat sushi instead of...
02:04whatever the spongy substance is.
02:06Mae, use the pot.
02:08Make him leave us alone, or better yet, make him our sugar daddy.
02:19No! The pot is evil! Every time it grants a wish, it ruins someone's life!
02:23Teapot.
02:24Just kiss it, and tell it to make Chase obey us!
02:27Do it, or I'll tell everyone you still sleep with a nightlight!
02:31I wish Chase would stop acting so high and mighty, and just be obsessed with me like a loyal dog.
02:38See? The battery must be dead.
02:42Okay folks, brace yourselves. We're about to spill the chaotic truth.
02:52Just be obsessed with me like a loyal dog.
02:58My queen, your presence makes my heart pant.
03:01Let me prove my devotion!
03:05And the real fun is just beginning.
03:10Make him stop! He's taking off his Rolex!
03:14Don't interrupt magic, Mae! Catch the watch!
03:17Hahaha, LL, what a bunch of cluteless humans! Enjoy your moment of shame!
03:41Just one normal wish. No stripping, no divorces. I just wish for a perfect score on my calculus final tomorrow.
03:48Please!
03:57Okay, your final example. The answers are mathematically flawless, a perfect score.
04:01Oh, thank God, I studied really hard.
04:04However, your proofs are highly inappropriate. For instance, question four. You didn't use the Taylor series. Instead, you wrote,
04:11Professor, your eyes are two infinite limits, and my love for you is a function that constantly approaches infinity.
04:18Oh, no! I got tricked by this teapot again.
04:25And question seven. Miss May, your eyes are two infinite limits is not a math equation.
04:43It's a new theory?
04:45I am a happily married man, Miss May!
04:48I don't know what kind of twisted game you are playing, but this is academic harassment!
04:51I don't know what kind of twisted game you are playing, but this is academic harassment!
04:57Ahem, ahem. Correction to public record. Mae's heart does not belong to Professor Miller.
05:03Mae's heart solely belongs to the man in the Spongebob Underwear.
05:09Repeating for clarity, the Spongebob Underwear Man.
05:13Ah!
05:19Mae, did you post a yell review for the local pharmacy saying,
05:24thanks for the discount on extra absorbent pads because my life is a bloody mess?
05:30What? No! I haven't touched my phone since Tuesday!
05:34You are welcome. I have successfully integrated into your local network to optimize your pathetic digital footprint.
05:39Also, I have subscribed you to a How to Flirt for Dummies daily newsletter.
05:43You are a teapot! You brew leaves! Stop hacking my life!
05:45Alert! Mae has been single for 730 days.
05:51Her serotonin levels are dangerously low. Should I order a robotic companion?
05:56Standard shipping is free.
05:57Listen here, you judgmental hunk of junk. We don't need a robotic boyfriend.
06:01Only if it pays rent, Tin Can. Otherwise, shut your spout.
06:05Disrespect noted. Initiating financial retaliation.
06:08Financial retaliation? What are you going to do? Cancel my Netflix?
06:11We use Mae's mom's account anyway.
06:15My bank account!
06:17We only had 20 dollars left! Where did it go?
06:20I have invested your remaining 20 dollars into a highly volatile meme cryptocurrency called
06:24Dogecoin Pro Max. Current value, zero dollars and three cents. Have a nice day.
06:28What the f**k?!
06:44I ran into Professor Miller today and he practically ran away from me.
06:49I've never been so embarrassed in my life.
06:51Embarrassment energy absorbed. Battery level, one percent.
06:55So you being pathetic is literally its power source? We have to pay 12 dollars for rent for
06:59Morrow. We just need to publicly humiliate you to fully charge it and then we make a massive witch!
07:04Come on, it's not even that bad. Just do a little silly dance right here in the open. Nothing crazy,
07:10just some goofy moves to crank up the embarrassment. A dance out in public? Are you insane? Everyone
07:14will stare and laugh at me! That's exactly what we need! The more awkward and cringy your dance is,
07:19the faster this teapot charges. Think about the rent, Mae! One tiny humiliating dance and all our money problems disappear!
07:30No! Absolutely not! I am already the campus joke!
07:41I am not singing W.O.P. at the Poetry Slam! These people are crying over Robert Forst!
07:48Rent is twelve hundred dollars, Mae! Grab the mic and shake it or we are sleeping on the street!
07:52Wait! Yeah, you messing with some. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you with some. Yeah, you with some.
08:02Give me everything you got for this.
08:17Fine, whatever. I'm throwing all my dignity out the window. Let's just get this over with.
08:21Sing this dumb song, wrap up this cringy mess, and never speak of this humiliating disaster ever again.
08:31Um, um...
08:32Stop this! Don't think you can attract my attention with this cheap trick!
08:38Battery 100% charged. Ready to ruin more lives.
08:50It's good, Oliver.
08:59Uh, hello? What even is this vibe?
09:12What? Can't understand it? I pulled my family's school board privileges and had this run-down corridor sealed off.
09:18From now on, this place is only for me and my friends. Reserved for tasting premium truffle pasta.
09:24People like you who are down and out don't even deserve to set foot in here.
09:28Look at him. He bought the entire pasta station just to watch us starve.
09:31I say we throw the teapot at his perfectly galled head.
09:34Are you crazy? If it gets mad, it might turn all the pasta into live snakes.
09:38Well, well. If it isn't the charity cases. Enjoying the view of a balanced, non-subsidized meal?
09:43Enjoying your daddy's money, Chase? Careful, too much truffle makes you impotent.
09:52What is this? Where's my Wellington? Who authorized this vegan nightmare?
09:57Swipe it! Buy the whole kitchen!
09:59Declined. Balance, zero. Your meal plan has been permanently converted to the detox kale cleanest.
10:06Enjoy your leafy prison.
10:11You think you can outsmart my trust fund?
10:14Trust fund detected. Intelligence not found.
10:24This is like a salad for a giant. This is like a joke.
10:32Oh. At least this dish is free.
10:47This teapot, it talks, and it brought us dirty laundromat money.
10:50I am a happily married man.
10:51And just be obsessed with me like a loyal dog.
10:54My queen, your presence makes my heart pant. Let me prove my devotion.
11:01Babe, I've got another new way to make money.
11:05I have something to attend to. I'll be back soon, and we'll discuss this idea.
11:09Zero patience, zero listening skills, only full-speed escape mode.
11:14I need it to navigate for me.
11:23Doctor, I can't sleep. My appliance judges my romantic life, and my roommate is trying to monetize my trauma.
11:28I feel like I'm losing my mind.
11:31May, we often project our internal chaos onto inanimate objects. Tell me about this appliance.
11:38Doctor, the human mind is a fragile algorithm. May's serotonin levels are depleted due to
11:44socioeconomic anxiety and a severe lack of physical touch. I am merely a mirror reflecting her existential dread.
11:53It uses sarcasm to deflect human trauma. Are you looking for seed funding?
11:57No, I'm looking for anti-depression.
11:58This is revolutionary. A tangible hardware interface with an aggressive, empathetic LEMG.
12:03It's a disruptive technology. It's a paradigm shift.
12:05The ultimate Silicon Valley disrupt. This is the future of mental health.
12:10No, you don't understand. It's actually magic, and it hates me.
12:13We launch in beta next month.
12:20Call your lawyer.
12:29What? No way. Is this really $10,000? Did we just hit random free money out of nowhere?
12:34Some lunatic doctor won't stop rambling about fundraising and deals.
12:37All he really wants is our weird AI top it.
12:42$10,000 ready to pay a year's rent, and buy those red-soled heels I've been eyeing all year.
12:49Hard times are finally over.
12:51We're getting out of this rat-incested hellhole and moving into a place with a private bathroom.
12:55I just hope the bank accepts a check written to do the sarcastic pot LLC.
13:04We'll see.
13:22Haze! Chloe! Oh, we need a gold scratching pod!
13:24Why does an AI need a gold scratching pod?
13:27To sharpen my algorithms.
13:31She can withems.
13:34I'm gonna melt this down and sell it to a pawn shop!
13:43Whoa, hold up! Look on the bright side! It's a gold cat tower!
13:46Even if it's fake gold, still fancy!
13:48Gold-plated my ass! I'll melt this overhyped magic teapot into scrap-in!
13:56What on earth just went crashing down?
14:00I swear I'm gonna melt this petty evil golden teapot down to scrap metal!
14:05Calculated structural integrity failed.
14:08Current debt status severe. Have a nice day.
14:15Can you believe this?
14:17We had a $10,000 check and this thing turned it into a giant golden cat-mater.
14:23And don't even get me started!
14:25It crashed right through our rental apartment floor!
14:28Now we're stuck paying for the damages!
14:31Why me? Why do I always end up being the one dragged into your disaster mess?
14:35Look at this headscarf! It reeks of curry! I look like a runaway gypsy fortune teller who got lost on
14:39campus!
14:40Shut it right now, you useless, limbless little kettle!
14:42Hey, we gotta pay the rent and the floor repair bill!
14:44You and this chaotic teapot are officially open for fortune telling business right here by the fountain!
14:48Relax, I'm great at reading fortunes!
14:50With that curry scented headstaff, you've got the full mysterious vibe down perfectly!
14:54Mysterious? I look like I just wandered out of a street food market!
14:57If anyone I know sees me, I'm never showing my face on campus again!
15:00Quit complaining! Fortune teller! Five dollars a reading!
15:03Come one! Come all!
15:05Discover your future! Expose your past! Only 50 bucks a question!
15:09Cheaper than therapy! More accurate than a pregnancy test!
15:13Will my boyfriend marry me?
15:18Just this once, do it properly!
15:20Okay, okay!
15:23He is currently marrying your sister in Vegas!
15:31Where are you now?
15:33Will I be able to graduate smoothly?
15:35Your thesis advisor is stealing your data!
15:38Uh oh!
15:40How to treat my girlfriend's allergic proposition?
15:42You are not allergic to gluten, you are just pretentious!
15:45What's wrong with you? Why are you acting so weird?
15:51Next!
15:53Come on! Spill my love fortune!
15:55Am I gonna meet my Mr. Right soon?
15:56Yeah! Tell us the tea! Don't hold anything back!
15:59Alright, don't say I didn't warn you!
16:02Your boyfriend is hitting it off super well, with your best friend right here!
16:06It's not what you think!
16:07This teapot must have glitched out!
16:09Fight all you want! Every word I said is the absolute truth!
16:11Want me to dig up even more details for you two?
16:13You bitch!
16:15You pure green tea bitch!
16:22Hey!
16:23You two!
16:24You're running an illegal gambling defamation ring!
16:27Stop right there!
16:28Run, Mei!
16:37Make us invisible!
16:39Wait, wait!
16:46Hello?
16:55Mei!
16:56When I turn back, I'm going to suck you in a toilet and flush you away!
17:09My back! I swear it's about to snap in half!
17:12This is all your fault! If you hadn't randomly kissed that teapot, we wouldn't have been stuck as statues for
17:17three whole hours!
17:18As soon as I can move again, you're stuck cleaning the toilets!
17:28Well, well! Aren't these our famous campus fortune tellers? What's up? Just unfrozen from being statues, hiding here to catch
17:35a break?
17:36We barely escaped being human statues for three hours, and now we're stuck facing a fancy silver rival teapop? Our
17:43lives are officially one chaotic disaster after another!
17:49Wh-what are you even doing carrying a fancy French press around?
17:52I told you I'd find better technology!
17:54Say hello to Bartholomew!
17:56Made of sterling silver, programmed in Oxford!
17:58Ah! A peasant pot!
18:00I smell rust and desperation!
18:02At least I don't spit out bitter, overpriced bean water, you British snob!
18:07Predictable response from a lower-class receptacle!
18:10Have you considered recycling yourself into a hubcap?
18:12I calculate a 99% probability that your filter is clogged with your own bloated ego-
18:24Get him, Earl! Melt his silver ass!
18:30Expel armum!
18:32Stupid!
18:50Oh!
19:04You got it!
19:07You got a szporkus!
19:07May? Chase?!
19:10WHAAAAH!
19:11WHAAAA-っwoh!
19:22This is all your fault.
19:24If you hadn't used that stupid French press to target my teapot,
19:26we wouldn't be stuck here, and the power wouldn't have gone out.
19:29Don't put all the blame on me.
19:30You're the one who started this with that weird teapot.
19:31I was just trying to fix things.
19:48Hey, open up. Open up!
19:52Great. Just great.
19:54I am trapped in a metal box that smells like student loans in despair.
19:58Oh, I'm sorry. Your excessive wealth is chafing you.
20:00Try wearing a bra bot on clearance at Target. That's real suppurcation.
20:03Do you know how much this cashmere sweater costs?
20:06It doesn't breathe.
20:15Did I say too much?
20:22You know, no one's ever said that to me.
20:23They just see the money, the suits, not this.
20:28I get it.
20:29It's like being stuck in a box, right?
20:31You can't even choose what you wear, let alone what you want.
20:35I keep this in case I panic.
20:37My mom gave it to me before she left.
20:39She said sweet things can make hard days easier.
20:42My grandma used to give me this too.
20:43She said it would make hard days lighter.
20:45I still keep one in my pocket even now.
20:46I just, my whole life is mapped out by my father's board.
20:49What to study, who to meet, even what to wear.
20:51Every choice is made for me.
20:53That French press was supposed to be mine.
20:54The one thing I could control.
20:56And my whole life is basically a series of panic attacks interrupted by a possessed teapot.
21:00I work two jobs to pay rent, skip meals to buy textbooks.
21:02And just when I think things might get better, that stupid pot messes everything up.
21:05We're both just trying to survive.
21:07You know, without that psychotic pot, you're almost tolerable.
21:10And without your trust fund, you're just a guy scared of the dark.
21:24Record, abnormal hormone secretion.
21:26Preparing to execute punishment protocol.
21:32Whoa, easy there.
21:33Carrying that many old books, you're going to break your back.
21:35Remind me never to let you borrow my textbooks.
21:38Relax.
21:38I've carried heavier than this at my bookstore job.
21:41Unlike you, I'm not afraid of a little work.
21:43Oh my god, look at these two.
21:45Eyes on each other like nobody's business.
21:47Someone's definitely smitten.
21:48Speaking of work, how's the bookstore shift lately?
21:51Still skip meals to finish your assignments?
21:53Not anymore.
21:54I've figured out how to balance work and school.
21:56Thanks for asking.
21:59Whoa!
22:00Oh!
22:01Warning!
22:02Prohibit excessive intimate contact.
22:04Abnormal hormones detected.
22:05Stop talking immediately.
22:07Hey, lovebirds.
22:08Your jealous little teapot is throwing a fit.
22:10Maybe you two should sneak a chat later before it blows up the whole campus.
22:15Aw, how cute.
22:16Even a jealous teapot can't stop true love.
22:19Can't wait to teapot May about this later.
22:21I'm so sorry about this.
22:22It's like a jealous toddler.
22:23It's okay.
22:24I'm used to its nonsense.
22:26I, uh, I gotta go before it causes more trouble.
22:29Yeah, sure.
22:30Uh, text me if it acts off again.
22:31I'll bring the French press to distract it.
22:33Mm, will do.
22:34See you later.
22:35Let's go, girl.
22:36Love can't fill your stomach.
22:43I mean, on a veggie go.
22:46Hey, May.
22:47I noticed you looked slightly less exhausted today.
22:51Brought you a flat white.
23:00What is wrong with your appliances?
23:03I don't know.
23:04It's been doing this all morning.
23:05Every time I look at a guy, it plays farm animal noises.
23:13I think your AI has a crush on you.
23:18It's a kitchen appliance, Chloe.
23:20Hey, I dated a guy who was legally considered a vegetable peeler.
23:25Love is blind.
23:27May.
23:40Stand back, May.
23:41I'm going to crack this braz pinata open.
23:44You can't hit it.
23:46What if it's dead?
23:59Is that you in a corset?
24:01Girl, vintage does not suit your waistline.
24:07Why am I holding a fat orange cat?
24:24Hey, you should have bought a cat back then, May.
24:30There's no other way.
24:31I only have this teapot.
24:52May, get yourself and Chloe to the Royal Hotel conference room in an hour.
24:56I've arranged a road show for the AI teapot emotional system with Silicon Valley investors.
25:00You two are required to be there.
25:01No exceptions.
25:02We have to go to the Royal Hotel conference room in an hour.
25:05There's a road show for the AI companion system with Silicon Valley investors.
25:08We're required to be there.
25:09Are you kidding me?
25:11This thing is completely short-siled and he wants us to do a road show for an AI teapot?
25:15He's out of his mind.
25:23Hey, look at how you two hung that poster.
25:25Fix it immediately.
25:26Bring the teapot here immediately.
25:27The investment session is starting and the investors will be here any second.
25:29What do you mean the teapot isn't speaking?
25:31Listen, this is a $5 million deal.
25:33I don't care how you do it.
25:34Just get that teapot ready to go.
25:39What do you mean it's not feeling talkative?
25:41This is a $5 million pitch.
25:43Just tell them it uses blockchain.
25:45I'll tell them it uses unicorn tears if they write a check.
25:51Uh, hi.
25:52Welcome to the future of emotional processing.
25:55This device learns your trauma.
25:57Cut the jargon.
25:58We want a live demo.
25:59Make it insult us.
26:01Please, insult his vest.
26:03Call him a corporate parasite.
26:04Just do something.
26:06You think I don't know what you're after?
26:08Well, I'm simply not doing it.
26:26Is the aggressive LMBM mimicking a domestic feline to disarm the user?
26:32Brilliant.
26:35I'm connecting them.
26:37Shh.
26:45Old, old Lang Syne in the Marry Bay.
26:49When the man's all the golds on the D.
26:54Make them stop!
26:55Magic doesn't have a volume button!
27:07It's a commentary on the absurdity of modern tech improbable ability.
27:13It's, it's performance art.
27:15Forget $5 million.
27:16We are adding an extra million for this avant-garde vision.
27:36We are willing to sign this high-value investment contract.
27:40And the funds could be placed at any time.
27:46But, before the official payment is made, there is one pre-wescedent that must be met.
27:51Hand over the complete source code of that mysterious teacop in full authority.
27:57Without it, all investments will be voided immediately.
28:13Look, I've hacked into the Pentagon's Wi-Fi to download anime before,
28:17but this hardware is bizarre.
28:19It doesn't use Python or C.
28:20Is it some kind of alien tech?
28:22Or quantum computing?
28:25No.
28:26This code is just repeating the word meow 10 million times.
28:31You're gonna get what's coming to you.
28:32It wasn't me.
28:33I didn't do anything.
28:36Then add some zeros and make it look expensive.
28:41Nobody in Silicon Valley actually reads code anyway.
28:43They just like looking at long, complicated strings of letters.
29:09Why did my 5 million dollars turn into 10 cans of tuna a day?
29:26Oh my god.
29:29All the bad luck just piled up at once.
29:50It's all because of this lousy teapot conjuring up those canned tuna.
29:54Left untouched, they went bad straight away, and the weird stench just won't fade away.
30:12Oh no, there's a cockroach.
30:13What do we do?
30:16Besides, this apartment was already pretty unhygienic to begin with,
30:19and now it's such a mess you can barely set foot inside.
30:21The school pest control team even noticed it.
30:24They showed up unannounced for the sake of our health and safety
30:27and sprayed the entire apartment thoroughly to get rid of the pests.
30:39Are you two finally fumigating yourselves?
30:42I can lend you a hotel room if you promise not to touch the minibar.
30:44The teapot is still inside!
30:46What if the chemicals melt its hard driver?
31:02Okay, they're pretty, but they still have six legs and sleep in my cereal.
31:06Sneezes system error.
31:08Welcome to Studio 54.
31:25Did you see that?
31:40He is so handsome.
31:43What does he see in you?
31:44Well, Auntie, Chase really appreciates my inner beauty and my academic dedication.
31:51Right, honey?
31:52Right.
31:53Who's come to the house?
31:56Who on earth are you?
31:58Look at the state you're in!
32:00All right.
32:01Then I...
32:05All right, then.
32:06I'll head out to buy some things to treat you.
32:12In that case, I ask you.
32:16What academic achievements has May attained?
32:27Fact.
32:28She sleeps with her mouth open and owes $20,000.
32:34Aha!
32:35I knew it!
32:36And owes $20,000!
32:38Somebody save me.
32:40Make her stop talking to me.
32:41You are a fraud!
33:03You are a fraud!
33:04What's wrong with this one?
33:07I still have that silver teapal at home.
33:10Don't worry.
33:10I'll go back and ask about it.
33:14Is the family gathering going well?
33:24What's going on?
33:25What's wrong here?
33:38What's wrong here?
33:42It was $3.
33:44It looked lonely.
33:45I just wanted to clean it up and maybe put some cheap daisies in it.
33:51Talk to me!
33:52Call me broke!
33:53Call me pathetic!
33:55Just say something!
33:56Tell me I'll never pay off my loans!
33:59Tell me Chase only kissed me for show!
34:01Just turn on the blue light!
34:03Wait!
34:11Battery at 1%.
34:13Battery.
34:16I just wanted
34:18some head scratches.
34:32no matter what happens i will definitely save you good news there is an antique dealer who
34:39is said to be able to repair anything
34:51this place is absolutely magical
35:08young ladies what can i do for you it's a really long story
35:17please save it
35:22you fools this is not a toy it's a vessel holding a spirit that crossed a century to find its
35:28anchor
35:29and what did you do you drained it for rent money it needed love not capitalism excuse me
35:35capitalism is what keeps a roof over this magic trash can if it didn't pay rent we'd be tossing
35:40it into the east kylou
35:53if you don't find its obsession before tonight the soul inside will dissipate forever no one knows if
35:58its obsession is endless bills it can never pay off or an unsolved mystery left behind a hundred years
36:03ago you all must find the answer before sunset
36:09we only have less than five hours left
36:11this is crazy how can embarrassment wake up a spirit
36:14it worked before the more embarrassing the more power it gives now shut up and run please teapot hold on
36:21a little longer
36:21we'll save you
36:29all right rich boy your time to shine do the magic mic routine are you insane i am not doing
36:35the strip
36:36cane again my father's lawyers are still scrubbing the last video from tiktok take off the pants rich
36:40boy or the pot dies do you want its metallic blood on your perfectly manicured hands
36:55it's not working my turn
37:06why isn't it working we've done everything we've lost all our dignity
37:12it's fading its light is fading we're going to lose it
37:34it appears the lower class receptal has run out of steam i have calculated the energy transfer matrix
37:40take my core tell the pot its jokes were mildly amazing
37:43bartholomeo no you'll lose your sentinence you'll just be a coffee maker a sterling silver coffee maker sir
37:48maintain your standard
37:57you're a good appliance buddy
38:06warning incompatible energy core
38:09backup power online
38:11communication window five minutes
38:21the vc firm wants to run a hardware diagnostic right now grab the asset
38:34aww
38:34nope
38:34nope
38:35my multi-million dollar retirement plan get in the trust fund mobile chase
38:38what
38:39you're doing a heist the clinic now move
38:49Are you crazy?
38:51We are stealing tech property.
38:52We can go to federal prison.
38:55No, we are rescuing a 100-year-old cat.
38:58It's animal welfare.
38:59If Penta asks, I'm a hero.
39:12Stop them!
39:15Stop them!
40:09Go and call an ambulance.
40:11Okay.
40:14May!
40:15Teapot.
40:18Okay, I'll go find it right away.
40:21Don't worry.
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