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FunTranscript
00:00:00Music
00:00:08Music
00:00:09Music
00:00:12Music
00:00:28Tyler, Tyler, Tyler, Tyler, dude, Brody Mike got goo poisoning, we got his spot, we're
00:00:37playing band slam, what's up, wow, we're out of here, oh my god dude, it was so rad,
00:00:44I just camped on Ricky Sleaze's doorstep and I was, oh hey, what's up, but look, we don't
00:00:48have time for this, Tyler, we need to get a talent check, drop off all our stuff, everything
00:00:50has to be perfect tonight, Daisy, what, yeah, we're in the middle of something, mine, oh dude,
00:00:55I'm so sorry, this is like super important for us, Daisy, get out, oh my god, are you guys
00:01:00doing it, ew, Tyler, I was just curious, what happened to that chick who slept here last night,
00:01:15screw you, Tyler, why is she singing, come on, thank you, Daisy, oh my god, Tyler, forget
00:01:26her, we're gonna let shit rip tonight, we'll get some due respect, alright, finally a stage
00:01:32and life's professional and real despite, the road we've traveled up to now, our chance
00:01:36to finally take a bout, to band slam, to band slam, hey Daisy, let's do this, dude, call
00:01:42the band, check it out, old school, what's up, oh my god, stop that, you sound like an idiot,
00:01:49hey, listen to me, you guys into playing band slam tonight, seriously, yeah, I mean grody
00:01:56might got good boys, I mean the flails are in rehab and like the horse drummer got carpal
00:01:59tunnel, but dude, you're like so in, sweet, oh god, shit balls, it's my sister, alright,
00:02:04listen, it's 5 o'clock now, we need to get there by 1 a.m., we're on at 1 a
00:02:07.m., so just don't
00:02:07be late and I'll see you this time, bye, chill out, hey, I need you to take me to truck
00:02:12stop
00:02:13tonight, oh yeah, no, why not, well, because that's a gay bar, I know, oh my, Colby, please don't
00:02:18be one of those experimenting posers, okay, you're like in a sorority, you braid your
00:02:21hair, so, there's a girl I have to talk to, yeah, I can't do that because I'm playing
00:02:25band slam, that's awesome, what time do you go on, 1 a.m., great, so you've got plenty
00:02:29of time to take me, oh, great, I'm not taking you, so my little sister thinks she's gay
00:02:34now, apparently, she's cute, I hope you're joking, that's not funny, okay, seriously, off limits,
00:02:46hey, party's this way, do you believe we're graduating tomorrow, yeah, there's just something
00:02:50I've got to do, but I'll catch up with you guys later, four years of pretending, being
00:02:58someone I'm not, tonight those years are ending, tonight the dream girl gets got, zombies line
00:03:09up in their funny square hats, my graduation is bigger than that, finally, I get to be
00:03:22me, and tonight I'm going for the girl, Jessica Post.
00:03:39a thousand pretty faces, their smiles as real as their tits, today my agent wants me
00:03:49to be, slutty bimbo on the bus number six, Miss T-Monroe, hi, hi, um, we're just doing
00:04:01the same page, uh, fifteen, okay, is anyone sitting here, thanks, that's it, yeah,
00:04:15why me, this town is so lonely, and no one can see me, when will I finally, when will
00:04:43find someone who cares, oh, and then the other thing is, um, Zan is gonna be there.
00:04:50Zan?
00:04:51Yeah.
00:04:51Dude, Daisy, it's all this shit about Zan.
00:04:54What?
00:04:55Dude, you spent eight long-ass months on that girl.
00:04:58Okay, first of all, it's nine.
00:04:59Whatever.
00:05:00You haven't been able to play a show since she dumped you.
00:05:02Aw, you know what, Tyler?
00:05:04I am so over her, okay?
00:05:06Oh my god, just take a look at me.
00:05:08I got my mojo back.
00:05:15Finally, we've got our shot.
00:05:19To get the groove back, I'm on the fast track, and tonight, our dreams will come alive.
00:05:26We're gonna let it get ripped tonight, we'll get some due respect alright.
00:05:29Finally, a stage of lights, professional and real despite.
00:05:33The road we've traveled up to now, our chance to finally take a bow.
00:05:36To band slam, to band slam.
00:05:38Hey, Daisy, let's do this.
00:05:40I'm gonna be myself tonight, try to get my head on right.
00:05:44Make it in this town despite, I'm hitting every traffic light.
00:05:47The road I've chosen up to now, our chance to finally love somehow.
00:05:50It's my turn.
00:05:52It's my turn.
00:05:53It's my turn.
00:05:53To finally do this.
00:05:55Finally.
00:05:56Finally.
00:05:58Finally.
00:05:58We've got our time.
00:06:03Finally.
00:06:03Finally.
00:06:05And tonight, our dreams will come alive.
00:06:14People will come alive.
00:06:24Here is the dream.
00:06:25It's my turn.
00:06:32Please take me away, Mickey.
00:06:32The game is my turn.
00:06:35Here is the dream.
00:06:36Connect your feet alone, so don't pass me, your feet alone.
00:06:39Turn around to the dance track, everything is mine.
00:06:41Welcome back.
00:06:42Okay.
00:06:56I'm telling you, the radiator's toast.
00:06:58Damn it.
00:06:59Told you not to buy this piece of shit, Van.
00:07:03Dude.
00:07:04You gotta call your fucking sister.
00:07:06No. Daisy.
00:07:08Call her.
00:07:09Music
00:07:18So.
00:07:20I hear you're gay now.
00:07:21She's not gay.
00:07:23Why can't I be gay?
00:07:24Because I'm gay. You're just copying.
00:07:26Oh, you're so full of yourself.
00:07:27Oh my god, Colby, you can't be gay.
00:07:29Mom will kill you. And then me.
00:07:31It's one thing if I'm gay, cause I'm like, you know, a bad seed.
00:07:34Try to rip me off. But you, oh my god, you're like the good egg.
00:07:36Well, being the good egg is boring.
00:07:39Well, I'm sorry. That's who you are.
00:07:41Well, now I'm a good gay egg, okay?
00:07:44Yeah, come on.
00:07:46You better be a gay egg.
00:07:50Oh, what a bad egg.
00:07:51Colby, you've never even touched your own vagina.
00:07:53Let alone anyone else's.
00:08:01Oh, I fucking hate this place.
00:08:04That's ridiculous.
00:08:06Hey, that's her.
00:08:07Where?
00:08:08In the green jacket.
00:08:10Oh, she's hot.
00:08:11I know.
00:08:12Yeah, she's out of your league.
00:08:13Shut up.
00:08:14I'm sorry, Colby.
00:08:15She is.
00:08:15I mean, look at her.
00:08:16She's like the queen bee of her little band of baby dykes.
00:08:18She's an actress.
00:08:19Ugh.
00:08:19Of course she's an actress.
00:08:20Well, what's she been in?
00:08:22Oh, I saw her in this allergy medication commercial.
00:08:24And then she did this movie, Satan's Bride.
00:08:26I rented it.
00:08:27She was really good.
00:08:28You rented it?
00:08:29Colby, God, you're a creeper.
00:08:31Seriously.
00:08:32I just hope she remembers me.
00:08:34I bought her a latte last week.
00:08:36She lost her wallet, so...
00:08:37Dude, Colby, all you have to do is just go up there and talk to her.
00:08:40She can't just walk up there and say, hey, do you remember me?
00:08:42I bought you a latte.
00:08:43Why not?
00:08:44Okay, because that girl right there thinks she's king shit a fuck mountain.
00:08:46All right, you just go up to her.
00:08:47I promise you, she will eat you for lunch.
00:08:50You need an angle.
00:08:51An angle?
00:08:52Yeah, you need something, you know, as a wedge to get her interested.
00:08:55Well, isn't sex enough?
00:08:57Colby's hot.
00:08:58You think I'm hot?
00:09:01Ixnay on the Easter egg.
00:09:03Okay, I know pig Latin.
00:09:04No, you don't know anything.
00:09:05That's exactly my point.
00:09:06You're not even gay.
00:09:07What are we doing here?
00:09:08Whatever.
00:09:08I'm just gonna go talk to her.
00:09:10No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:09:12Okay, so what's your, what's your angle?
00:09:16I thought you were nice when I bought you that latte.
00:09:19You made me laugh.
00:09:20I think you're sexy and I've never done this before, but I'd like to sleep with you.
00:09:25That's your angle?
00:09:26Yeah.
00:09:29Oh, she's dead.
00:09:31Bye, dead sister.
00:09:32I loved you.
00:09:33No, stop.
00:09:34I think she'll pull it off.
00:09:35I mean, everyone loves a bi-curious girl.
00:09:37No, Tyler.
00:09:38That's just you.
00:09:38She thought you had a chance.
00:09:40What name do you actually have?
00:09:41Hey.
00:09:42Hi.
00:09:43I'm Colby.
00:09:44I met you last week at the coffee wood on La Brea.
00:09:47Okay.
00:09:48Yeah, you lost your wallet and you were up at the barista, but you didn't have any money
00:09:53and I was behind you in line and...
00:09:55Right, yeah, yeah.
00:09:56Hey.
00:09:57Hey.
00:09:58Yeah.
00:09:59Ah.
00:10:01So, do you guys come here a lot or...?
00:10:05Um...
00:10:05I...
00:10:06I guess.
00:10:07Are you an actress?
00:10:08Because I think I saw you in this movie and it was really good.
00:10:13Um...
00:10:13This is Satan's Bride.
00:10:15I just thought it was beautiful.
00:10:16Hey, hey, hey.
00:10:17Oh my God.
00:10:18How are you?
00:10:18Wow, you look great.
00:10:19Your hair's short.
00:10:20Um, yes, I chopped it off.
00:10:22Do you like it?
00:10:22Oh my God, yes.
00:10:23Uh, this is Shelby.
00:10:24Colby.
00:10:25Colby.
00:10:25We met, um, at the, the coffee wood on La Brea.
00:10:29Hi.
00:10:29Oh shit!
00:10:30Sam!
00:10:31I love it!
00:10:33How are you?
00:10:34Oh my God, no.
00:10:35How was it?
00:10:37Oh, it's hot.
00:10:38You guys are stupid.
00:10:39I mean, I do not even begin to tell you.
00:10:41I'll have to fill you guys in.
00:10:42I mean, do we have time?
00:10:43We have time.
00:10:43We're there next time.
00:10:45Yes.
00:10:46Oh my God.
00:10:47You look fresh.
00:10:48She wears her coat.
00:10:49Okay, seriously, this is painful.
00:10:51Can I please just go over and stop her?
00:10:53No, stop, stop.
00:10:53No, I'll tell her she got a phone call.
00:10:54No, no, no, no.
00:10:55You look fucking great.
00:10:56That's what I said.
00:10:57Oh my God.
00:10:57Look at her.
00:10:59Hey, I'm gonna go, but it was nice to see you again.
00:11:02Nice to see you too.
00:11:04Who the fuck is that?
00:11:05Oh, she has to come back.
00:11:08Oh, I love this song.
00:11:10Oh my God, how did it go?
00:11:12I'm gonna end up with you.
00:11:14You're a bitch.
00:11:15Happy?
00:11:16Asshole?
00:11:19Tyler Murphy.
00:11:20Man, a bitch owe me money.
00:11:23618, Coronado.
00:11:24Yeah.
00:11:40Listen, I am not your fucking babysitter.
00:11:42Alright, you struck out.
00:11:44Dream Girl's not into you.
00:11:45Time to call it a night.
00:11:46I'm done.
00:11:47This is my car.
00:11:47I have to do vocal warm-ups, okay?
00:11:50Oh, whatever.
00:11:50I have to stretch.
00:11:51I've had no water tonight.
00:11:52I have a show.
00:11:53Okay.
00:11:53She told me that she signed with Endeavor.
00:11:55But she sucks.
00:11:56I know.
00:11:57Trust me, I hate her.
00:11:58Seriously.
00:11:59Hey.
00:12:00Hey.
00:12:01Do you guys have a light?
00:12:02Yeah.
00:12:02She does.
00:12:10Do you guys like actors or actresses?
00:12:14Sure.
00:12:15What do you guys like to be called these days?
00:12:17It doesn't matter.
00:12:19We're not either.
00:12:19Speak for yourself.
00:12:21Actors.
00:12:22You know, I'm just mentioning because I'm going to this party where some, I don't know,
00:12:27big casting guys will be there.
00:12:29Uh, really?
00:12:30What's his name?
00:12:30I don't know.
00:12:31It's my friend, Colby's uncle.
00:12:34Call her!
00:12:35I don't care!
00:12:37I guess he represents Angelina Jolie.
00:12:39Angelina Jolie?
00:12:42Really?
00:12:44You can come if you want.
00:12:48Oh, my God.
00:12:49I can't.
00:12:49I can't.
00:12:50You've been obsessed with her forever.
00:12:52Okay, we're going.
00:12:52Come on.
00:12:55That was six years ago.
00:12:57Look.
00:12:57It was my favorite shirt.
00:12:58You gave it to me.
00:12:59Oh, oh, like hell I did.
00:13:00Sid and Misty are coming to the party with us.
00:13:02Right.
00:13:03Uh, what party?
00:13:04Oh, you know, the party at Colby's uncle's house.
00:13:07My uncle?
00:13:08Let's hit it.
00:13:09Okay, let's go.
00:13:10Oh, my God.
00:13:11I swear to you, if you have anything to do with this...
00:13:14No, no, no.
00:13:15No, I will burn all of your CDs.
00:13:17No, I'm not kidding.
00:13:18Don't miss me.
00:13:19Tyler, what are you doing?
00:13:20I gave you an angle.
00:13:21Okay, well, she didn't even have an uncle, so I'm sorry.
00:13:23Well, then I guess we'll have to find one, huh?
00:13:25Oh, Tyler, listen to me.
00:13:26We don't have time for a let's get Colby late mission tonight, okay?
00:13:28We've got to get our equipment at the dark light.
00:13:30Where's your sense of adventure?
00:13:31I mean, it's your sister's graduation night.
00:13:33Let's give her half a fucking chance with this girl.
00:13:35We have, like, five hours before we have to go on anyway.
00:13:38Just take your keys.
00:13:39Stop.
00:13:39No.
00:13:40This is all your fault.
00:13:41What did I do?
00:13:46Oh, great.
00:13:47Here comes my alert.
00:13:50Bye.
00:13:53Hey.
00:13:55Hey.
00:14:06So, uh, I hear you guys are actors, is it alright?
00:14:09I mean, I've done some modeling and acting.
00:14:11And she's done acting.
00:14:12So do you, like, mostly print?
00:14:14Or, like, what do you even do?
00:14:15Do you go to a lot of parties?
00:14:16Do you wear a lot of Ed Hardy?
00:14:17Like, what do you do?
00:14:17No, we go to a lot of, like, Hollywood parties.
00:14:19I mean, that's how you get connected in this town.
00:14:21You know, you have to socialize.
00:14:22And it's part of the job here, though.
00:14:23Do you guys have, like, agents and stuff?
00:14:26Or how do you get down?
00:14:27Yeah, we do.
00:14:28Yeah.
00:14:29Yeah.
00:14:29Who's your agent?
00:14:30Oh, they're really, it's like a little boutique agency.
00:14:33But I think they're really specialized on just to be there.
00:14:35Do they have, like, perfuming shit there?
00:14:36Like, I don't understand.
00:14:37No, I mean, small.
00:14:38What have you been in?
00:14:40I was in a couple films, but you probably wouldn't know about him.
00:14:44Really?
00:14:44Who?
00:14:45I heard.
00:14:45They don't know names that you guys know.
00:14:48But one day you'll know them.
00:14:50Like, one day we'll all play.
00:14:51Totally.
00:14:52But your band is really good, you guys.
00:14:55Yeah.
00:14:57You've seen his play.
00:14:58Um, someone here has seen you play.
00:15:01Colby.
00:15:04Colby is, like, awesome.
00:15:05You know, Colby, you should take him to come see us perform.
00:15:07Hey, Tyler, do you have a girlfriend?
00:15:11Uh, do I know you?
00:15:13Oh, I mean, I was just wondering if you have, like, a type, you know, like, maybe for an X?
00:15:17No, she doesn't.
00:15:17She's a type.
00:15:18Do I have a type thing?
00:15:19Oh, a type.
00:15:20Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:21I don't even know how to answer that question.
00:15:23What?
00:15:23Do you have, like, many?
00:15:24She's in a very open relationship with, like, the population.
00:15:28She hasn't found the right one yet, huh?
00:15:30No, she keeps trying.
00:15:31Grab your hand.
00:15:31Remember, like, a little time.
00:15:32Raise your hand!
00:15:35If you want to get late tonight!
00:15:38If you just want to play tonight!
00:15:41If you just turn gay tonight!
00:15:46Play your cards right, girl.
00:15:48The plans might get pretty.
00:15:51Or things could get shitty.
00:15:54If we don't watch the time
00:15:59Our game plans are different
00:16:01But strangely our goals don't differ
00:16:03A night without drama
00:16:05A hot sweaty blur
00:16:06By 2am I hope I'm naked with her
00:16:09Oh, seriously, I'm not listening
00:16:11La la la la la la la la
00:16:13By 2am I hope I'm naked with her
00:16:16Painted with her
00:16:18Sainted by her
00:16:19By 2am
00:16:20Very acquainted with her
00:16:23Covered in grass stains
00:16:25Wrapped up in poker
00:16:26By 2am, not 1am
00:16:29Cause I've got things to do
00:16:31By 2am
00:16:34I hope I'm naked with her
00:16:39Drop your plans
00:16:41And let's shake the glamour
00:16:43A night to get hammered
00:16:47And avoid the slammer
00:16:49Unless that's your thing
00:16:52We shut off the phones
00:16:54And shoot from the hip
00:16:55A dark sticky rock shirt
00:16:57A club off the strip
00:16:59It's like looking up
00:17:00Let's see where it goes
00:17:02Let's hope looking up
00:17:04And losing some clothes
00:17:05I hope I'm naked with her
00:17:08I hope I'm naked with her
00:17:08Newborn inspired
00:17:09Zero time
00:17:11By 2am hot on a wardrobe
00:17:13That's style
00:17:14Clothes just fall off
00:17:16Of Marissa Tomei style
00:17:17By 2am, not 1am
00:17:20Cause we've got things to do
00:17:23By 2am
00:17:25I hope I'm naked with her
00:17:28I hope I'm naked with her
00:17:55Motherfuckin' money up in my hands
00:17:58Cause if they don't
00:17:59They gonna have to talk to my night
00:18:01It's almost midnight, bitch
00:18:03I'm bout to book a fuckin' T-time
00:18:05Sick of messing around
00:18:06With these rookie dice
00:18:07Trying to play a fuckin' bitch
00:18:09Like it's amateur night
00:18:10This ain't no joke, girl
00:18:12You's about to get killed
00:18:14Bout to go try your woods
00:18:16On your motherfuckin' grill
00:18:17I'm 2am
00:18:18You better have it redone
00:18:20Or I'm coming for you
00:18:22And that ass is mine
00:18:23So all you gotta do now
00:18:25Is just stick to your word
00:18:27I'm six feet deep
00:18:28Lying down in the dirt
00:18:30Make no mistake
00:18:31It's motherfuckin' shit
00:18:33Harry Swing, Docs, I'm on me
00:18:35Do some dental work
00:18:36When the clocks dry strong
00:18:38You better fill my purse
00:18:40On my 2am, bitch
00:18:41You'll be dead in the dirt
00:18:44Yeah
00:18:45Dead in the dirt, baby
00:18:55So that was Colby's Uncle Steve
00:18:57He wants us to meet him at this club
00:18:58Coco Bongo, which is downtown
00:19:01Do you think Angelina will be there?
00:19:04Maybe
00:19:07Hey Colby
00:19:08Why don't you tell Misty and Sid
00:19:10About how Angelina hit on you
00:19:12That one time
00:19:12What?
00:19:13Yeah, remember last summer?
00:19:16Cold?
00:19:17So, okay
00:19:17So Colby was on this yacht
00:19:19In the Bahamas
00:19:19With her uncle
00:19:20And Brad
00:19:21And Angelina
00:19:22And Maddox
00:19:23Right, that's right
00:19:24Yeah
00:19:24Yeah
00:19:25Maddox
00:19:25Yeah
00:19:26So everybody went on shore
00:19:28Except for Colby and Angelina
00:19:30Really?
00:19:31No
00:19:31So when they were alone
00:19:33Angelina asked Colby
00:19:34To put suntan lotion on her back
00:19:36No, shut up
00:19:37And Colby whips out the suntan lotion
00:19:40And she starts rubbing it
00:19:41All over Angelina
00:19:43All over her back
00:19:44What?
00:19:45And then
00:19:45Angelina totally does this
00:19:47Reach around and tries to get it on her back
00:19:50Shut up
00:19:51No shit
00:19:53It's fine, Colby
00:19:54Tell me
00:19:55Yeah, Colby
00:19:56What the fuck?
00:19:56Yeah, tell him
00:19:57Colby, come on
00:19:59Yeah
00:19:59I mean, it's just
00:20:01Not
00:20:02That's a big deal
00:20:05She's just being money
00:20:06Oh, Colby, don't
00:20:07Don't be shy, honey
00:20:08No
00:20:08We have all night
00:20:10Did that really happen?
00:20:12Kind of
00:20:13Clarify, kind of
00:20:14Did you guys hook up?
00:20:16No
00:20:16I mean, she's married
00:20:18So
00:20:18Wait
00:20:18You
00:20:19You didn't hook up with Angelina
00:20:21Because she's married?
00:20:23I don't
00:20:23Wait, well
00:20:24Guys
00:20:24Brad came back
00:20:26Yeah
00:20:27Brad came back
00:20:28So it was kind of awkward
00:20:30And then
00:20:31Oh
00:20:31No, no, no
00:20:32I mean, it was cool
00:20:33He was really nice
00:20:35Very nice
00:20:36That Brad did
00:20:38That's so cool
00:20:39Wow
00:20:39Good guy
00:20:40If I almost fucked Angelina Jolie
00:20:42I would make a t-shirt that says
00:20:43I almost fucked Angelina Jolie
00:20:44I mean, are you
00:20:45You should totally do that anyway
00:20:46Because nobody would know the difference, right?
00:20:48I just watched Gia 2
00:21:01How did you do that?
00:21:03What?
00:21:04You made up that stupid lie about Angelina Jolie making her pass at me
00:21:10Ah, Colb
00:21:12Here's a hot tip for you
00:21:14It's important to learn how to lie to her
00:21:17Come on
00:21:18No, seriously
00:21:19I think I'm joking
00:21:20But I'm not
00:21:21See, women want a fantasy
00:21:23They're all about
00:21:24The possible
00:21:26An angle will get you in the door
00:21:27But it gets in lies
00:21:29Without a place to do
00:21:31It's terrible
00:21:36Look at her
00:21:38Do you want to be with her?
00:21:40Yes
00:21:41Then tonight is your night
00:21:44Tonight is the only night
00:21:47There's no tomorrow
00:21:48There's just
00:21:50Tonight
00:21:53So what are you going to do?
00:21:59Listen to me
00:22:00You have 45 minutes to make your move
00:22:01Then we are out of here
00:22:02What the hell kind of move am I supposed to make?
00:22:05Well, if you were actually gay, you'd know
00:22:06So, thanks
00:22:17Now the hair just hangs in her face
00:22:19Oh, my God
00:22:20Well, smile
00:22:21Go talk to her
00:22:22We were just in the whole car with her
00:22:23No, no, no
00:22:24No, no, she hasn't been all right
00:22:25Hey
00:22:25Hey, what's up with her?
00:22:27Who?
00:22:28Tyler
00:22:28Misty and her had a thing
00:22:29What, Tyler?
00:22:30No, no, no
00:22:31No, we didn't have a thing
00:22:32She doesn't remember
00:22:32Okay, they had an almost thing
00:22:34Oh, oh my gosh
00:22:35No, I used to go see her play
00:22:36When she was in her old band
00:22:37Wait, you mean jaded lipstick?
00:22:39Yes
00:22:41My mother is a bitch
00:22:42Bitch
00:22:43My mother is a bitch
00:22:45Bitch
00:22:45I'm going to cut her breasts off
00:22:47I know that my mother is a bitch
00:22:51And I finally talked to her
00:22:52And I gave her my number
00:22:56And then she didn't call
00:22:58I shouldn't have put my number on her arm
00:23:00She could have washed it off
00:23:01Or wiped it off or something
00:23:03Misty has been obsessed with her ever since
00:23:06She doesn't remember me
00:23:08Right
00:23:08Remember she came over here
00:23:09Tried to talk to us
00:23:10And then had zero recollection
00:23:12That we used to go see her band play all the time
00:23:14Oh, there's guys
00:23:15I'm going to have them buy space
00:23:20Has it ever happened to you?
00:23:23To get a huge crush on someone
00:23:24That you didn't even know
00:23:27Yeah
00:23:30Even though I know
00:23:31It's never gonna happen
00:23:34Fooling myself
00:23:35Brings me so much satisfaction
00:23:37Don't say a word
00:23:39But she's my fantasy crush
00:23:41Aw, that's funny
00:23:43I didn't know you dick sluts
00:23:45Aw
00:23:46Don't shit on my dream
00:23:48It's just my fantasy
00:23:49What could possibly be
00:23:52But it won't be
00:23:53And the saddest part is
00:23:55That it doesn't matter anyway
00:24:00Do you know what I'm saying?
00:24:03Yeah
00:24:04I think I might feel you on that
00:24:09And in this other daydream
00:24:12She takes me to the beach
00:24:14And after hot fucking sex
00:24:16She says she'll never leave
00:24:17Oh, that's so sweet
00:24:19But see, there's only one problem
00:24:21She's so dirty
00:24:22She may be allergic to water
00:24:26Don't shit on my dream
00:24:28It's just my fantasy
00:24:29Of what could possibly be
00:24:32But it won't be
00:24:33And the saddest part is
00:24:36That it doesn't matter anyway
00:24:39Do you know what I'm saying?
00:24:42Well, there's this girl
00:24:43That I really like
00:24:44Well?
00:24:45Well, I don't know her really
00:24:48Like
00:24:49And we get thrown together one night
00:24:53A goose chase night
00:24:55This really super crazy night
00:24:57And she's got this other chick
00:25:00That she likes
00:25:01Until she realizes
00:25:03That the perfect girl
00:25:04Is sitting right here
00:25:06Don't shit on my dream
00:25:08It's just my fantasy
00:25:10Of what could possibly be
00:25:12But it won't be
00:25:14And the saddest part is that
00:25:16It doesn't matter anyway
00:25:20Do you know what I'm saying?
00:25:23But anyway, we're at this party
00:25:24And it's wild
00:25:25It's like fiction
00:25:26And I lose my inhibition
00:25:28And I kiss her
00:25:30And one thing leads
00:25:32Right into the next
00:25:33We end up on a trampoline
00:25:36And I have first time sex
00:25:39It's just my fantasy
00:25:41Hold the phone
00:25:41You're a chick virgin?
00:25:43No, I'm not
00:25:44I mean, did I say that I was?
00:25:47It was like, no
00:25:48In my fantasy song
00:25:49You know, it's my first time
00:25:51But I've done it like
00:25:52A million, trillion times
00:25:55I can't even count
00:25:55Right, right
00:25:56Continue
00:25:58So we're out at this rock show
00:26:00Really loud rock show
00:26:03She looks at me
00:26:04It's like we both know
00:26:06That we need to sneak backstage
00:26:08And find a backroom
00:26:11Backstage sex rampage
00:26:14Don't shit on my dream
00:26:16It's just my fantasy
00:26:17Of what could possibly be
00:26:20But it won't be
00:26:22And the saddest part is that
00:26:24It doesn't matter anyway
00:26:26On a beach
00:26:27In a car
00:26:28Hot fucking sexuality
00:26:30Don't shit on my dream
00:26:32It's just my fantasy
00:26:33Of what could possibly be
00:26:36But it won't be
00:26:37And the saddest part is that
00:26:40It doesn't matter anyway
00:26:42Backstage
00:26:43Had to show my first time
00:26:45Sex trampoline
00:26:46Don't shit on my dream
00:26:48It's just my fantasy
00:26:49Of what could possibly be
00:26:52But it won't be
00:26:54And the saddest part is that
00:26:56It doesn't matter anyway
00:27:00I think you know what I'm saying
00:27:06You're such a romantic
00:27:11Too bad this shit doesn't happen
00:27:12In real life, all right?
00:27:15Come on, let's go find a seat
00:27:21Listen, I don't know why
00:27:22You're bothering with Colby
00:27:23This whole thing's like
00:27:24An exercise in futility
00:27:26Valentine, this guy
00:27:27He's a con artist
00:27:29Exactly
00:27:35I need you to do me a favor
00:27:37For like five minutes
00:27:38I don't know
00:27:38What's in it for me?
00:27:40I don't get any bread ideas
00:27:41Hot shot
00:27:41You still owe us
00:27:42For the fucking Lambert
00:27:56Is that Xan?
00:27:57Yeah, I'll be right back
00:27:59Daisy, don't go
00:28:00Daisy
00:28:05Misty, I have to tell you something
00:28:07Guys, you're so easy
00:28:09Where have you been?
00:28:10Can't ask Drake's back up
00:28:15Hey, sweet cheeks
00:28:16How you doing?
00:28:19Sid, Misty, this is Colby's Uncle Steve
00:28:22It's a pleasure to meet you
00:28:24It's always nice to meet Colby's attractive friends
00:28:29Hey, Colby, haven't seen you since Clooney's poker game
00:28:32What?
00:28:33You played poker with Clooney?
00:28:35Yeah, he's an old friend
00:28:37So what are you guys doing out here?
00:28:38The party's on the dance floor
00:28:40Come on!
00:28:41Bono's stopping by later
00:28:43Wait, Bono?
00:28:43Yeah, Bono
00:28:44Alice, have a burger
00:28:44Oh, that's a guy I know
00:28:46Hey, look
00:28:47I need you to do me a favor
00:28:49I need you to have sex with me
00:28:54What?
00:28:55If I want to get together with Misty
00:28:56I have to get together with you first
00:28:58I don't follow you
00:29:00Well, this was your whole idea in the first place, Tyler
00:29:02I mean, I'm trying to, like, work a freaking angle here
00:29:05So, I was thinking if I hook up with you first
00:29:08Then Misty won't think that I'm square anymore
00:29:10And then she'll feel all, like, jilted and insecure
00:29:12Because you didn't hook up with her
00:29:14And then she'll hook up with me on the rebound
00:29:19Cool work
00:29:20I'm telling you
00:29:24Colby, as much as this pains me to tell you
00:29:29I cannot have sex with you
00:29:31I see your sister will kill me
00:29:32Oh, who cares about her?
00:29:35I do
00:29:36Who cares?
00:29:37Okay, tonight is the night
00:29:38You said so yourself
00:29:43What about fake sex?
00:29:46How are we supposed to have fake sex?
00:29:48I don't know, but I'll figure it out, okay?
00:30:10I don't know, but I'll definitely like the Batteria
00:30:13Who cares about him
00:30:13He's Wolf
00:30:13When you close your eyes
00:30:17Do you still see my face?
00:30:25Hey, Dan
00:30:26What's the matter?
00:30:37I got dog
00:30:39Can I talk to you?
00:30:41Oh, look, it's a lot of lame.
00:30:43The name's a lot of flame. Flame.
00:30:45You guys gonna do band slam tonight? That should be interesting.
00:30:47Yeah, whatever, Kelly. Listen, Xan.
00:30:49I gotta talk to you, so...
00:30:51This is not really a good time.
00:30:57Well, when?
00:30:58I mean, when is a good time?
00:31:01Because you didn't even have the courtesy to break up with me.
00:31:03I had to find out you were dating Skankarami here through your fucking tweet.
00:31:06What on earth do you need to talk about?
00:31:07I mean, how many times do you have to process this relationship?
00:31:10She dumped you. You're a loser.
00:31:11She's not. End of story.
00:31:14Yeah, okay, Kelly, um...
00:31:16Why don't you butt out of this? Because if you don't, I swear to God...
00:31:18You're gonna what? Kill me with your music?
00:31:20Too late. Listen.
00:31:21You and your slutty ho-bag friend
00:31:23and your desperado band
00:31:25need to go crawl under a rock somewhere
00:31:27and leave Xan alone.
00:31:38I can't do it.
00:31:40Stop the beat!
00:31:40Go away!
00:31:45What?
00:31:46I can't do it.
00:31:56Come on.
00:31:58Come on.
00:32:00You're gonna go.
00:32:02Okay, bye.
00:32:03Oh, my God.
00:32:05Just that one time when I got her really good...
00:32:08She backed up.
00:32:09She's on top of me.
00:32:11And she's not light.
00:32:13Let me tell you, that hurt a little bit.
00:32:14But I think, Zan, there was a moment we connected eyes,
00:32:17she was, like, a little impressed by my movement.
00:32:22Monique?
00:32:23What's up, ladies?
00:32:24They let you out?
00:32:26Good behavior.
00:32:28Congratulations.
00:32:29Well, thank you.
00:32:31They say I'm rehabilitated.
00:32:34You see, Dr. Floss,
00:32:36who teaches my anger management class,
00:32:38he says that he's really proud of the progress that I made
00:32:41and getting to the source of my general fucking irritation with life.
00:32:49Dr. Floss, he says that I have an excellent chance
00:32:52of returning to society
00:32:53and making a meaningful contribution in my community.
00:32:57Dr. Floss is gonna be really fucking disappointed
00:33:00when he finds out I beat you within an inch of your fucking life.
00:33:05You owe me $4,565.79.
00:33:13Monique, I didn't steal your money.
00:33:14It was fucking Ruan.
00:33:16You looking at me like I care.
00:33:17Hey, Monique, I'm begging your pardon.
00:33:20Um, Tyler will totally get your money.
00:33:22I have, like, showing every confidence.
00:33:25But right now, we gotta get to soundcheck,
00:33:27because we're playing a rock show tonight
00:33:28and I like to be professional.
00:33:30What? This little fucking rock show?
00:33:32Band slam?
00:33:33Band slam?
00:33:34Yeah, that's it.
00:33:35Daisy.
00:33:35Yeah, this is it.
00:33:36Daisy?
00:33:37Y'all in a rock and roll band now, right?
00:33:38No, it's lame.
00:33:40Oh, shit.
00:33:40You're right.
00:33:40That's cute, that's cute.
00:33:41Yeah, I think we have, like, a really good chance.
00:33:43And I bet y'all bitches need these instruments right here
00:33:46to play a little fucking show tonight, right?
00:33:49Oh.
00:33:50Yeah, no.
00:33:51No.
00:33:52I'll tell you what.
00:33:53I'm gonna hold on to your shit.
00:33:55You give me my motherfucking money, I'll give you back your shit.
00:33:58Sound good?
00:33:59You know, that's my car.
00:34:00Coley, what?
00:34:01Ah!
00:34:02Piece of shit!
00:34:03It's you, world!
00:34:04Hey, stop!
00:34:05Did you say it right here?
00:34:07Hey, my dad's a lawyer!
00:34:10What, bitch?
00:34:12What?
00:34:14I ain't fucking playing around, bitches!
00:34:17Monique.
00:34:17Shut the fuck up!
00:34:18You don't understand the gravity of the motherfucking situation here.
00:34:22You need to give me my motherfucking money.
00:34:25Your shit is my shit!
00:34:27Midnight, bitches!
00:34:29Stay.
00:34:31Hey, Monique, could I just grab one thing out of the back just before you go?
00:34:36Monique?
00:34:37Monique!
00:34:37Monique!
00:34:39Monique!
00:34:40Monique!
00:34:40Don't do this!
00:34:42Don't do this!
00:34:44Don't do this!
00:34:45Oh my god!
00:34:46She stole my car!
00:34:47I know, Colby.
00:34:48I know.
00:34:49I know.
00:34:53Hey, guys.
00:34:55I seen Monique repossessed your car.
00:34:58Fuck off, Kelly.
00:34:59She's performing a public service.
00:35:02Yeah, now nobody has to hear your shitty band.
00:35:04Fucking suck.
00:35:05Yeah, I'm gone.
00:35:07I'm going to break some bullets.
00:35:08What are you doing?
00:35:16What are you doing?
00:35:19What are you doing?
00:35:20What are you doing?
00:35:21Oh, my God.
00:35:23Oh, my God.
00:35:23Oh, my God.
00:35:24What are you doing?
00:35:26What are you doing?
00:35:27Go! Come on!
00:35:29Get in!
00:35:30Get in!
00:35:31Get in!
00:35:34Get in!
00:35:39Get in!
00:35:40Get in!
00:35:48Get in!
00:35:50You guys are insane.
00:35:51This is amazing.
00:35:52This is the best night of my life.
00:35:55All right, now it's going to get better.
00:35:57Look in the glove compartment.
00:35:58What is it?
00:35:58What? What is it?
00:36:01Hidden compartment on the right.
00:36:04What is it?
00:36:06How do you know this?
00:36:08What? What is it?
00:36:10This is just Tuesday.
00:36:12No fucking way!
00:36:14What the fuck?
00:36:15Are you joking me right now?
00:36:18Oh, my fucking hell.
00:36:20That's a lot of drugs.
00:36:21What kind of people are you?
00:36:22Don't get that close to that.
00:36:23Oh, my God.
00:36:24Let's just take a look.
00:36:26I didn't know my ex was going out with Courtney Love.
00:36:28Dear God.
00:36:30Yes.
00:36:30Oh, my God.
00:36:32What?
00:36:32Who is it?
00:36:33It's fucking this.
00:36:35What are you doing?
00:36:36No, don't pick it up.
00:36:37Don't pick it up.
00:36:37We'll talk to her.
00:36:39We'll talk to her.
00:36:40Sorry, sorry.
00:36:40Thanks for driving.
00:36:41Shut up.
00:36:42Shut up.
00:36:43Shut up.
00:36:47Good day, Sam.
00:36:49Daisy, I don't know what the fuck is going on, but you have to bring Kelly's car back.
00:36:53Oh, no, no.
00:36:53We will totally bring it back.
00:36:54We just, you know, we need to borrow it for a little while.
00:36:57Do we think this is a joke?
00:36:58Make Tyler bring the car back or Kelly's going to call the cops.
00:37:01The only reason she hasn't called the cops yet is because I stopped her.
00:37:04Oh, really?
00:37:05Because I wonder what the police would think about the full fucking pharmacy Kelly's got in her glove compartment.
00:37:11You had drugs in the glove compartment?
00:37:16Really?
00:37:21Listen, you loser.
00:37:22I want you to bring my car back with everything in it.
00:37:26Hey, guys.
00:37:27Guys, what do you think?
00:37:28There's like $10,000 worth of drugs?
00:37:30What, like $15,000?
00:37:31I don't know.
00:37:32That would be a lot of jail time.
00:37:34Yeah.
00:37:34I don't know.
00:37:35A lot of money tonight.
00:37:36Yeah, I want to talk to Sam.
00:37:37You just talked to her.
00:37:39No, no, no.
00:37:39I want to talk to her without you present in person.
00:37:42And then we'll give you your shitty car back, okay?
00:37:45She wants you to meet her.
00:37:47I don't know if you're worth all this fucking trouble.
00:37:49I don't know if she's there.
00:37:54Where are you?
00:37:55Tell you what, I will text you when we land.
00:37:58For the record, this is why.
00:38:02Okay?
00:38:02This is why what?
00:38:04Why I broke up with you.
00:38:07Oh my God, this is funny.
00:38:11I did what she said.
00:38:14You know, she said, sorry is wrong to leave you.
00:38:16I love you.
00:38:16I always will.
00:38:18What'd you really say?
00:38:20Where the fuck are we going?
00:38:23Well, we have to unload these drugs so we can get our $5,000, pay Monique and then get
00:38:27our shit back.
00:38:28Oh my God, Tyler.
00:38:28How are we going to unload $5,000 worth of drugs in three hours?
00:38:32We've got to be on stage at 1am.
00:38:33I don't know.
00:38:35Um, hey, maybe Lana will want to buy them.
00:38:38Bitch, do you have a death wish?
00:38:40No, we have to find some rich, obnoxious, drunk kids who are looking for a good time
00:38:44and sell them the drugs.
00:38:45Alright, my eyes are peeled.
00:39:00No.
00:39:03Oh, yeah.
00:39:05No.
00:39:06No.
00:39:07Oh, yeah.
00:39:07No.
00:39:07How much?
00:39:08Oh, no.
00:39:08Fuck yeah.
00:39:10No.
00:39:10No.
00:39:12No.
00:39:12No.
00:39:13No.
00:39:13No.
00:39:14No.
00:39:14No.
00:39:15No, no, no, no, no!
00:39:16What's happening, Colby?!
00:39:20Done.
00:39:20You can't do shit!
00:39:21Come on!
00:39:22Colby!
00:39:23onboard!
00:39:25Colby!
00:39:26Colby!
00:39:27Colby!
00:39:28Colby!
00:39:29Colby!
00:39:31Colby!
00:39:32Colby!
00:39:33Colby!
00:39:35It's your graduation tonight!
00:39:36Yeah, and I have 6 demerits!
00:39:39You are such a…
00:39:40My sisters are such a bad girl!
00:39:42Seriously?
00:39:42Why'd you get so bad, Colby?
00:39:45And I haven't even told him about...
00:39:49Me.
00:39:52Well, look what the cat dragged in.
00:39:57Halloween is in October, ladies.
00:40:13Hi, Lauren. I just came to grab my jacket.
00:40:16Colby, we made a pact to spend our last night together as sorority sisters here in this house, reflecting on
00:40:25four great years here at L.A.U.
00:40:28We could be out partying or hanging with our boyfriends, but instead we made a solemn pledge to be here
00:40:36together.
00:40:37Everybody is here but you. You, for some reason, seem to think you have something better to do than to
00:40:43participate in the Sigma Omega Kappa farewell ceremony.
00:40:47What could possibly be more important than spending tonight with your Sigma sisters?
00:40:52Sexual mistake.
00:40:53Ow, my...
00:40:53Lauren, I'm sorry.
00:40:54Was I finished talking? I don't think so.
00:40:59My follow-up question is this.
00:41:02What do you think you can do to make up for this selfish and insulting behavior on your part?
00:41:08What are you bringing to the table, Colby?
00:41:10Uh...
00:41:12Party favors?
00:41:13Party favors?
00:41:14Party favors?
00:41:19Party favors?
00:41:21Party favors?
00:41:26Party favors?
00:41:27Party favors?
00:41:28Party favors?
00:41:30Party favors?
00:41:31Party favors?
00:41:32Party favors?
00:41:32Party favors?
00:41:33Party favors?
00:41:34Party favors?
00:41:34Party favors?
00:41:37Party favors?
00:41:38Party favors?
00:41:39Party favors?
00:41:40Party favors?
00:41:43Do you know who Story Musgrave was?
00:41:45He was an astronaut.
00:41:47I bought every button that he had from every launch he had ever done.
00:41:52I used to dream of being like a counselor there.
00:41:56That was my goal at 15.
00:41:58Didn't get that.
00:42:00So I chose acting.
00:42:02And here you are in LA.
00:42:04Yes.
00:42:05I hate LA.
00:42:06Why?
00:42:08It's just not what I expected.
00:42:09Everybody is so fake.
00:42:11I don't know, I miss New York.
00:42:12You should really give LA a chance.
00:42:14See, LA, it's like a treasure chest.
00:42:17There's all sorts of hidden gems all over the place.
00:42:19You just have to know how to look for them.
00:42:22See, other cities are really slutty.
00:42:24They just have everything out there to see.
00:42:26There's no mystery.
00:42:27But LA, she makes you work.
00:42:30I don't know.
00:42:31No, listen.
00:42:32If you drive downtown, there's this crappy electronics store on 6th Street.
00:42:36But if you go through the store and into the storeroom with a flashlight,
00:42:40you can look up in the rafters and see the remnants of the first vaudeville house built in LA.
00:42:46That's so cool.
00:42:48Yeah.
00:42:49And if you drive into the Santa Monica Mountains the second week of April,
00:42:53there are acres and acres of blooming wildflowers everywhere.
00:42:58You guys don't have seasons.
00:42:59That's not true.
00:43:00Just not the ones that you're used to.
00:43:03But if you've lived here long enough, you can detect the subtle changes in the quality of the light and
00:43:08the feel of the air.
00:43:14I don't know, you just can't look at the surface.
00:43:17You gotta look beneath.
00:43:20Well, maybe I had the wrong person showing me around.
00:43:27So, do we have a winner yet?
00:43:34A winner of what?
00:43:37Come on, who's gonna hook up with Tyler first?
00:43:42I'll be right back.
00:43:46Look.
00:43:46Ahem.
00:43:48What?
00:43:49What is up with you?
00:43:51She's cute.
00:43:52Oh, come on, Misty.
00:43:55The hottest fucking girl on the entire west coast is ready to be your bed bitch.
00:44:01So get your fucking head in the game.
00:44:04Yeah.
00:44:05Yeah?
00:44:05Yeah, that's right, yeah?
00:44:19Okay, so you wanted to talk.
00:44:22Let's talk.
00:44:25So, uh, I saw Fat Sal the other day.
00:44:31Yeah?
00:44:32Yeah.
00:44:34He was asking about you.
00:44:40You happy?
00:44:43Yeah.
00:44:46Does she make you laugh?
00:44:50Daisy, what do you want?
00:44:51I want you to be honest with me.
00:44:53No, you don't.
00:44:55People say that all the time, but nobody actually wants that.
00:44:59Well, I do.
00:45:01Zan, I love you.
00:45:04I mean, do you feel anything for me?
00:45:06Like, at all?
00:45:07Or the last nine months just some weird hallucination on my part?
00:45:10No.
00:45:11No, of course I loved you.
00:45:13I...
00:45:14Of course.
00:45:15It's just not enough.
00:45:18How can that not be enough?
00:45:19It's not enough because I can't spend the rest of my life waiting for you and Tyler to get your
00:45:23shit together.
00:45:25Oh, I don't know.
00:45:26We're together.
00:45:27You know, we got, like, a couple irons in the fire.
00:45:30Things are...
00:45:30Things are...
00:45:31Daisy, I have to go.
00:45:34Come here, Keith.
00:45:34Please.
00:45:37I wrote a song for you.
00:45:43Um, I don't want your song.
00:45:45What?
00:45:47I don't want your song, Daisy.
00:45:50Because this is over.
00:45:51And I don't...
00:45:52I don't want you.
00:45:53I don't want your song.
00:45:55I...
00:45:55I really actually don't want anything to do with your life.
00:45:58I just want Kelly's car back.
00:46:02Does she have that?
00:46:03I don't...
00:46:03Daisy, you have to let me go.
00:46:05What does she have?
00:46:07She has talent.
00:46:11She has talent.
00:46:13I'm sorry.
00:46:14Give me the keys.
00:46:52I can't...
00:46:58Good.
00:46:59Thanks.
00:46:59You've got to leave.
00:47:00You're welcome.
00:47:01All right.
00:47:02I'll see.
00:47:02See my face
00:47:11Find it hard to breathe
00:47:14When you're standing
00:47:17On my neck
00:47:22Put on an old song
00:47:25Lest you sing along
00:47:28Even just for a little
00:47:32Oh, tell me you need it
00:47:36Cause I'm greedy
00:47:38I love you so much
00:47:40It makes me sick
00:47:43One more hug
00:47:45And pull the plug
00:47:47You know I'd rather die right here
00:47:50Than live one day without you
00:47:53Tell me it's alright
00:47:58It'll be okay
00:48:03Look into my eyes
00:48:07Tell me pretty lies
00:48:09I don't care, just say
00:48:31I'm sorry Colb
00:48:34Looks like you are too late
00:48:37The problem with you is that you are just too sweet
00:48:45But you do know where nice girls end up, right?
00:48:49In a pint of ice cream and a vibrator
00:48:58Yep
00:48:59I'll see you out there
00:49:10This whole life ain't worth living
00:49:13When I'm giving
00:49:15Every little piece of my heart is ick
00:49:22And I've been replaced
00:49:24And I thought I had something
00:49:28And I thought I had something again
00:49:31Will so long set my sights on you
00:49:35Will I ever be right for you?
00:49:40Even though I stand rejected
00:49:43I've been discarded
00:49:45Sick and dead
00:49:47Lost amongst the broken hearted
00:49:51She tells me it's alright
00:49:56It'll be okay
00:50:01Look into my eyes
00:50:05Don't you really realize
00:50:08I don't care, just say
00:50:13Don't ask me why
00:50:16I just can't say
00:50:23One day, little girl
00:50:26We're gonna show the world
00:50:28We're gonna laugh one day
00:50:36When you close your eyes
00:50:39Do you still see my face?
00:50:47All these feelings arise
00:50:49Will we ever embrace?
00:50:57Will you let me inside?
00:51:00Does your heart have a place?
00:51:03A place, a place
00:51:07When you close your eyes
00:51:11Do you still see my face?
00:51:17It's alright
00:51:32Okay, I have something to tell you
00:51:38I'm pretty sure that I'm gay
00:51:43Duh
00:51:44Duh?
00:51:45Duh?
00:51:47Intramural softball
00:51:53Do you know how to have fake sex?
00:51:56I don't understand the question
00:51:59Like if I was to simulate sex
00:52:01Without actually having it
00:52:04What would I do?
00:52:06Moan a lot
00:52:07And swear
00:52:08Really?
00:52:16Oh god
00:52:17Oh god
00:52:20Oh god
00:52:22Oh god
00:52:22Fuck
00:52:24Oh fuck
00:52:25Oh god
00:52:25Oh my god
00:52:26Oh fuck
00:52:27Oh god
00:52:34I could never say that
00:52:36Oh and if you bust this one out
00:52:39I'll drive him crazy
00:52:41Oh shit
00:52:42Oh fuck
00:52:43Oh shit
00:52:44Oh you're making me so wet
00:52:46You're making me so wet
00:52:51I know
00:52:53Wow
00:52:53Okay look
00:52:55I need your help
00:52:56You know I actually remember
00:52:58When I saw you guys first play
00:52:59No shit
00:53:00Yeah
00:53:00It was like last September
00:53:02Where was it?
00:53:04Um
00:53:04I don't know
00:53:05It was like some dark burgundy room
00:53:07With tall ceilings
00:53:09Oh
00:53:09Is it the dark room?
00:53:11Yes
00:53:11Yeah
00:53:11Yes
00:53:12That's a fucking awesome place
00:53:13I love it
00:53:17Hey can you um
00:53:18Can you tell the change in the seasons in LA?
00:53:22What?
00:53:23I mean like you've lived here your whole life
00:53:25Like can you
00:53:26Can you feel the change?
00:53:29There are no fucking seasons in LA
00:53:31It's just hot and fucking hotter
00:53:35Yeah
00:53:36Hi
00:53:38Do you mind if we borrow Misty for a second?
00:53:41Why?
00:53:42You've been chosen
00:53:43It's actually a great honor
00:53:45Every year one civilian has chosen to participate in the annual crossing over ceremony
00:53:50I'm good
00:53:51Thank you though
00:53:53It's not optional
00:53:59Come on
00:54:00Showtime
00:54:06Take off your clothes and get in the bathroom
00:54:08To cherish these friendships forever
00:54:12To cherish these friendships forever
00:54:15To be bonded in everlasting sisterhood
00:54:18To be bonded in everlasting sisterhood
00:54:21I mean not like the lessee kind
00:54:23I mean not like the lessee kind
00:54:25I mean that's fine for Colby
00:54:27If that's what she's into
00:54:29No judgments
00:54:30But most of us like dick
00:54:32I mean that's fine for Colby
00:54:34If that's what she's into
00:54:35No judgments
00:54:36But most of us like dick
00:54:38Okay I'm sorry
00:54:39You guys are totally freaking me out
00:54:44Congratulations
00:54:45You are now officially
00:54:47The civilian sister of Sigma Omega Kappa
00:54:50Thanks
00:54:53Oh um
00:54:54Do you know where my friends went?
00:54:55I think they went upstairs
00:54:56Thanks
00:55:09Incoming
00:55:09Okay
00:55:10Come on
00:55:11Let's do it
00:55:12Okay
00:55:13We're gonna be late
00:55:14For Monique
00:55:15I don't think you understand
00:55:16What it's like
00:55:16When we're late
00:55:17For Monique
00:55:17No hey
00:55:18No
00:55:18We're like five minutes away
00:55:19It'll be fine
00:55:20I have to do this
00:55:25Oh my god
00:55:27Oh my god
00:55:28Oh yes
00:55:30Oh fuck
00:55:31Yes Tyler
00:55:33Woo
00:55:35Tyler you are making me so wet
00:55:58Oh my god
00:55:59Oh my god
00:56:00Oh my god
00:56:02Oh my god
00:56:02Oh Tyler
00:56:02Tyler
00:56:03You fucked my sister
00:56:05No no no
00:56:06Daisy
00:56:06Daisy this is not what it looks like
00:56:08I swear
00:56:08Daisy
00:56:10You are fucking dead to me
00:56:12No
00:56:12Daisy
00:56:14Daisy
00:56:14Oh man
00:56:20Daisy
00:56:21Stop it
00:56:21Nothing happened
00:56:22Oh nothing happened
00:56:23I just saw you
00:56:24And then fucking my little sister
00:56:26No
00:56:26You were faking it
00:56:27Oh you were faking it
00:56:28Ha ha ha
00:56:28I'm faking it
00:56:29Kobe had just cocked me to replan
00:56:30That if Missy walked in on us
00:56:31And thought we were having sex
00:56:32Then she would think
00:56:33Kobe was cool
00:56:34And then they would go
00:56:35And have sex
00:56:35Okay so I'm expected
00:56:36To believe
00:56:37That my little sister
00:56:38Asked you to have some fake sex
00:56:39With her in order
00:56:39To get some other girl
00:56:41Yeah
00:56:42Okay then
00:56:43I know
00:56:44Daisy
00:56:44She's just a kid
00:56:45She's jail based
00:56:46She's not a kid anymore
00:56:47Daisy
00:56:49What did you just say to me
00:56:51I mean she's great
00:56:52She's graduating from college tomorrow
00:56:54She's not a kid anymore
00:56:55I knew it
00:56:55Man I fucking knew it
00:56:57You've been crushing on Kobe for years
00:56:58Just waiting to get your whoring little hands all over her
00:57:00Let me tell you something Tyler
00:57:01It's never gonna happen
00:57:02Okay
00:57:02Kobe is way too good for you
00:57:03So you better forget you knew either one of us
00:57:11And you're out of the fucking band
00:57:31Don't shit on my dream
00:57:33It's just my fantasy
00:57:34Of what could possibly be
00:57:37But it might be
00:57:39And the greatest thing is
00:57:41It's gonna happen anyway
00:57:43Do you know what I'm saying
00:57:51Hey
00:57:52Hey Misty
00:57:58Get off me
00:57:59I'm sorry
00:58:00I'm just
00:58:01It's not gonna happen
00:58:02Okay
00:58:06Okay
00:58:26Missy are you okay?
00:58:32What happened?
00:58:34Nothing
00:58:34I just made the hugest fool out of myself
00:58:38I know how you feel
00:58:44I just thought we would have had something
00:58:47I'm so stupid
00:58:48I always do this
00:58:49And I don't know why
00:58:50I just threw myself at Tyler
00:58:52God she acted like I was a leper
00:58:54Am I that disgusting?
00:58:56No
00:58:58You're beautiful
00:59:00I can't say
00:59:02Misty
00:59:03I have known Tyler my entire life
00:59:06She's like the best friend my sister could ever have
00:59:08And she may be hot
00:59:09But
00:59:10All Tyler cares about
00:59:12Is smoking pot
00:59:13And being cool
00:59:14While playing her bass
00:59:16I just feel like you've been making up
00:59:17All this stuff about her
00:59:18But
00:59:20None of it is real
00:59:23But I like my fantasies
00:59:28So fantasies you don't have to deal with the real person
00:59:32That's scarier
00:59:34A lot scarier
00:59:36Is if you have a connection with somebody
00:59:38Then you have to let them in
00:59:39And what if they don't like what they find
00:59:42But what if they do?
00:59:48Thinking stupid fucking bitch
00:59:50What the hell is I thinking?
00:59:55Ding dong bitch
01:00:00Where's Tyler?
01:00:02Where's Tyler?
01:00:03What are you running for?
01:00:04What are you running for?
01:00:06Ow
01:00:12What the fuck is wrong with y'all?
01:00:17Y'all gonna fuck around and make me break a sweat
01:00:30Ray Charles could see y'all motherfuckers hiding under the
01:00:41Where you going for that money?
01:00:43What's the hell I'm looking for?
01:00:45Y'all don't keep fucking with me
01:00:46I'm gonna start taxing
01:00:47Every one of these Sigma pensions
01:00:52Where the fuck are you going for?
01:00:55Keep fucking with me
01:00:56Y'all don't keep fucking with me
01:01:00I want to eat!
01:01:01I want to eat!
01:01:11It's my fucking time!
01:01:13Get out of my way!
01:01:17Where the fuck do you think?
01:01:19Freeze!
01:01:21Oh, please, toy cop.
01:01:32Officer Jackie! Officer Margie! Campus police!
01:01:35Yeah, campus police!
01:01:40Kids today, no respect for the law.
01:01:43No, ma'am. No respect!
01:01:45Yeah, I've been after you, little sorority missus, for a while now.
01:01:51Waiting for you to slip up and bounce!
01:01:56It would appear that Monique Shaniqua Jones is in violation of the terms of her parole.
01:02:04Proper authorities have been notified.
01:02:07Fuck you, bitch.
01:02:11And as for you, ladies, your parents have been contacted.
01:02:17Can you call my mom?
01:02:18Happy graduation, ladies.
01:02:24Wow!
01:02:25Wow!
01:02:26This is just fucking great!
01:02:29Great?
01:02:30Wow.
01:02:31This is fucking great.
01:02:33Yep.
01:02:34Daisy.
01:02:34Now don't you talk to me.
01:02:36It was a mistake, okay?
01:02:38I can't deal with you not talking to me.
01:02:40Oh, well, maybe you should have thought about that before you screwed my little sister.
01:02:43Think?
01:02:44Yeah, maybe, perhaps.
01:02:45Okay.
01:02:47You guys hooked up?
01:02:48No.
01:02:49That's an understatement.
01:02:50Oh, Tyler!
01:02:51Tyler!
01:02:52Fuck me, Tyler!
01:02:53Bleh.
01:02:55Why didn't you tell me?
01:02:57This whole ridiculous evening has been one big fat lie.
01:03:00Yeah.
01:03:01That's been Colby's strategy the whole time.
01:03:03For instance, our uncle?
01:03:04Not Angelina Jolie's agent.
01:03:06We don't even have an uncle.
01:03:07So who was that guy?
01:03:09His name's Valentine.
01:03:10He's a con artist.
01:03:12Aw, man.
01:03:13You mean that I hooked up with him for nothing?
01:03:18What?
01:03:18He said he was going to introduce me to Beyonce.
01:03:23Craziest lie of all?
01:03:25Is that Colby is not even gay.
01:03:28I don't know what kind of bullshit pose or game she's playing, but I'll tell you what,
01:03:30it's getting real tired.
01:03:36You've been lying to me this whole time.
01:03:38No.
01:03:39It wasn't like that.
01:03:41I mean, it was kind of like that, but you wouldn't talk to me.
01:03:45Tyler said that I needed an angle, so I tried to fix things so that you would like me and
01:03:50-
01:03:50Oh, you guys were in this together the whole time.
01:03:53Missy, I'm really, really, truly sorry.
01:03:56Save it.
01:03:57Forget it.
01:04:00Are you happy?
01:04:04Did this night get any worse?
01:04:06Please!
01:04:07You have a visitor.
01:04:13Mom.
01:04:15You know what you guys are?
01:04:17You're professionally ungrateful.
01:04:19Get me up in the goddamn middle of the night.
01:04:23Maybe you could get a job being professionally delinquent.
01:04:26You guys are all worthless, you know that?
01:04:29Lots of hooks to be pulled.
01:04:31I don't know.
01:04:32Lately out here on my own
01:04:35Surrounded by heartbeats
01:04:37Never felt more alone
01:04:42What's happening?
01:04:44So why does everyone look the other way?
01:04:48When I'm right here and I wanna say...
01:04:54Here I am once again, stuck in traffic
01:04:58Counting to ten, trying not to panic
01:05:02Red light, green light
01:05:05Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
01:05:07Broke the rules down to the letter
01:05:10Let me try it once again, I can do it better
01:05:14Red light, green light
01:05:16Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
01:05:21Here I am once again
01:05:24Here I am once again
01:05:26Here I am once again
01:05:28Here I am once again
01:05:29People flying out their cars
01:05:31Forgetting and regretting
01:05:33Can only get a girl so far
01:05:40So where are you going, going?
01:05:44Like little Bowen Bowen's hair
01:05:49Didn't you see the red light?
01:05:51God knows how I hate to say I told you so
01:05:58What you're looking at me for
01:06:00I'm no help, the future is a ghost
01:06:06Here I am once again, stuck in traffic
01:06:10Come to ten, trying not to panic
01:06:14Red light, green light
01:06:16Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
01:06:18Broke the rules down to the letter
01:06:22Let me try it once again, I can do it better
01:06:26Red light, green light
01:06:28Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
01:06:33God knows how I hate to say
01:06:37God knows how I hate to say
01:06:41Here I am once again
01:06:43Here I am once again
01:06:48Here I am once again
01:06:51Here I am once again
01:06:55Here I am once again
01:06:57Here I am once again
01:06:59Here I am once again
01:07:05I told you, Colby, I'm going to San Diego with Craig.
01:07:11Oh, great. Throw a tantrum.
01:07:14You want me to treat you like an adult?
01:07:16Well, you better start acting like one.
01:07:18For fuck's sake.
01:07:19Fuck.
01:07:22Go on. What are you waiting for?
01:07:23I don't even know you.
01:07:27Colby.
01:07:30Colby, would you hold up?
01:07:31I don't want to talk to you.
01:07:32Oh, really? Well, I don't want to talk to you either.
01:07:35That's why it's a good thing we're sisters.
01:07:37We have to talk to one another.
01:07:38Look, I was a jerk, okay?
01:07:41I'm sorry that I'm having such a hard time with this, Colby.
01:07:45It's just that...
01:07:47You know, it's not like Mom was exactly around a lot.
01:07:49It's always been just the two of us.
01:07:52And I was the one, you know, helping you with your homework
01:07:54or taking you to school or picking up the pieces
01:07:56when you broke up with that guy and then this guy.
01:07:58And now, girls, good God.
01:08:00Colby, if you like girls,
01:08:03girls are a fucking nightmare.
01:08:05But this night is any indication.
01:08:09Look, I just don't want to see you get your heart broken.
01:08:12Because my hearts are great.
01:08:15It hurts me all the same.
01:08:22I'm not in the habit of being honest with girls,
01:08:28but if we had hooked up tonight,
01:08:34we would have had a good time.
01:08:38But I wouldn't have called you back.
01:08:42And then I just would have moved on to somebody else.
01:08:48I'm the one that put Colby up to this whole crazy night, okay?
01:08:53She doesn't have a lying bone in her body.
01:08:58We'll see you all the same.
01:09:35So, um, where are we headed?
01:09:42Darklight!
01:10:17You out already?
01:10:18Just went in an hour ago.
01:10:21Overcrowding.
01:10:21Drive.
01:10:54You're going to be amazing.
01:10:56Thanks, man.
01:10:57I'll see you in a while.
01:10:58Wish me luck.
01:11:00Oh, see ya.
01:11:01Bye!
01:11:02Good luck, good luck.
01:11:02Rock it!
01:11:15Oh, hi, Daisy.
01:11:16What the hell?
01:11:17Long story.
01:11:18We're on a tank.
01:11:19It's going to be awesome.
01:11:21I can't believe you guys actually showed.
01:11:26Hey, newsflash.
01:11:27There's a real live audience out there.
01:11:29I mean, this isn't like performing home in front of the year with your hairbrush.
01:11:33I mean, do you guys really think that you're ready for this?
01:11:36Because I'm embarrassed for you in advance.
01:11:42Next up, let's give a warm darklight welcome to the Dolly Rise.
01:11:59I just think your music isn't for everybody.
01:12:02Sorry.
01:12:05Oh, yeah, real nice, Zan, after she spent eight long-ass months with you.
01:12:10Eight.
01:12:10Nine.
01:12:24You suck.
01:12:30No, you don't.
01:12:33Daisy, look.
01:12:34She's just trying to get in your head.
01:12:36I'm like, I've been fooling myself.
01:12:38Tyler, we're going to make fools of ourselves.
01:12:41Daisy!
01:12:47I still wonder how it's me, makes me happy, so happy.
01:12:55Four to joy means four always.
01:13:06You're my never-gonna-happen crush.
01:13:09What?
01:13:11You're it.
01:13:12You're my fantasy girl.
01:13:14Drama!
01:13:16You know, every day of my life, I have to pretend to be somebody I'm not.
01:13:20I have to be fake with all these other fake people.
01:13:24But for some reason, I thought that you were for real.
01:13:27I thought that you were the only real person I had ever met in L.A.
01:13:32Then you turned out to be phony, just like everybody else.
01:13:34Misty, I get you, okay? I get your whole thing.
01:13:38I mean, I know in New York you had a ton of friends, and then you moved here.
01:13:41And in Hollywood, no one cares about who you are or what you think.
01:13:46But I do.
01:13:48And I think that space camp is awesome.
01:13:52Look, I know what it's like to pretend to be something that you're not.
01:13:54And I'm tired of doing that.
01:13:59I just want you to know that you don't have to pretend with me, because I just like you.
01:14:06I'm sorry that I ruined your night.
01:14:09No, but wait.
01:14:18What if we just start from scratch?
01:14:21What if we just start from scratch?
01:14:31Hi.
01:14:32Coffee?
01:15:04Why don't we try to be honest even though it's hard?
01:15:13Why don't we try to be honest even though it's hard?
01:15:21See, I happily accept you as you are.
01:15:31Now we got nothing to hide.
01:15:40Come here, I want to show you something.
01:15:57You're hiding me.
01:16:03Tell me it's not happening.
01:16:10Am I just a parody?
01:16:17With my best behind me?
01:16:47I'm sorry, ma'am.
01:16:48I'm sorry, ma'am.
01:16:52She's just a heat-seeking missile, you know?
01:16:55When you're up, she's up, and you're down.
01:16:57She's gone.
01:17:01I just thought she believed in me, you know?
01:17:04I believe in you.
01:17:09Come on, I mean, you kind of have to say that, you know?
01:17:13No, I don't.
01:17:16I know you, and I've seen you rock every day.
01:17:21And we can't shut you up.
01:17:23You love to rock.
01:17:27When have you ever given a shit what other people think?
01:17:35Fuck it, right?
01:17:36Fuck it.
01:17:39Vote for us, the Dolly Rocks!
01:17:41Whoop!
01:17:42All right!
01:17:44Next up, we've got a lot of flame!
01:17:46Come to shoot right here.
01:17:59You wait until...
01:18:02just to bite if you.
01:18:13What's the plate?
01:18:15Then you just turn it.
01:18:21Let's take it again, guys.
01:18:46Tonight we've all grown, the past is left alone.
01:18:51When we look inside and see what's true,
01:18:55My friends and myself, the night of our life,
01:18:57I'm taking it back like her knees do.
01:18:59We only win when we decide to.
01:19:07Now all my nights will have an afternoon.
01:19:12Much happier without you.
01:19:15And as I walk out, here's an extra kiss.
01:19:20My tomorrow's all brand new.
01:19:28Sometimes in my head it sounds like this.
01:19:31Nothing lasts forever but stories in stone.
01:19:38We've got a tale to tell ya,
01:19:42In the stone well it should've been,
01:19:45Should've been left alone,
01:19:46Should've been left alone,
01:19:49Should've been left alone,
01:19:51Should've been left alone.
01:19:53Leave me alone,
01:19:55Give me four minutes alone.
01:19:57Leave me alone,
01:19:59Oh, my night will have an end to end
01:20:04Much happier without you
01:20:07And as I walk out, here's an end to kiss
01:20:12The victory is the end
01:20:15My darling, don't come fallin'
01:20:18Just get lost and watchin' for all day
01:20:21Go fuck up!
01:20:24Come on, come on
01:20:26Now the gig is home
01:20:29I am to give me back
01:20:32Everything you ever told
01:20:36Come on, come on
01:20:38Now the gig is home
01:20:41I am to give me back
01:20:43Everything you ever told
01:20:58The show on day
01:20:59I am to give you back
01:20:59I am to give her all the keys
01:21:44Alright! What a show! A lot of flame, people!
01:21:50And it looks like we have ourselves a winner.
01:21:53Ladies and gentlemen, a lot of flame.
01:21:56$5,000!
01:21:59Yes!
01:22:00Oh, my God!
01:22:08Hi, Mommy.
01:22:09Hey.
01:22:10No.
01:22:11Really?
01:22:13No?
01:22:14I'm gonna kill you.
01:22:17This shit?
01:22:19Bet not bounce.
01:22:20Oh, my God!
01:22:27Oh, my God!
01:22:52Happy graduation.
01:22:54You can count me in, and we can say goodbye to the place we've been.
01:22:59All I need I've found in you.
01:23:02Oh, my God!
01:23:32Start in line, and I'm ready to go with you by my side.
01:23:37There's no holding back this time.
01:23:40Oh, my God!
01:23:51Oh, my God!
01:23:54Oh!
01:23:54Oh, no!
01:23:55Oh, me!
01:24:05Let me get here
01:24:08Darling, what's the case?
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