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00:03You
00:07Open your legs up for me.
00:09Why?
00:10Like that?
00:12Like that?
00:18Oh yeah, right there.
00:23Are you sure you're ready for me to take your virginity?
00:25This is the only thing I've ever wanted in my whole life.
00:28I only want you.
00:32Your mother's gonna kill me.
00:35But I don't care.
00:37Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
00:38I'm living with Brett Harrison.
00:40The same Brett Harrison.
00:42I accidentally emailed a ten-page smut about us.
00:45Uh, Ellie, my eyes are up here.
00:48What?
00:49Allie.
00:49Yo, Allie, quit drooling.
00:51Come on, that's gross.
00:52I wasn't, I wouldn't call it drooling.
00:54I would say it's zoning out.
00:56Uh-huh.
00:56And dude, you gotta start wearing a shirt.
00:58And put some actual pants on.
00:59You can't go commanding in front of my little sister.
01:01Yeah, she just got out of the chair.
01:03I don't care, man.
01:03All right?
01:04You're on watch duty now.
01:05You gotta keep the horny jocks away from her.
01:07Okay?
01:08And remember, most important part, road code.
01:10Wow, what's on the email?
01:12Anything, uh, scandalous or inappropriate?
01:14Anything I should, uh, know about?
01:16Nothing.
01:17Nothing.
01:17Because you know, like I am, could be looking after you now.
01:20I made a promise to Ron.
01:21So, uh, if there's anything I need to know about, you should, uh, tell me.
01:25Okay.
01:26Nope.
01:26Nothing.
01:27Nothing scandalous.
01:27I, I'm gonna go.
01:28Actually, um, I have to go.
01:29Oh.
01:30Good to see you.
01:34Okay.
01:35Deep breath.
01:37This is my year.
01:38New city.
01:39New school.
01:40I'm gonna make this squad.
01:42And I'm not going to think about Brett's stupid, perfect abs.
01:48Oh my god.
01:49You, uh, lost baby girl?
01:51Cause, uh, you just come here for a show.
01:53We lost, and we still gotta start.
01:55We still?
01:59Hope you brought your meat pods, virgin.
02:02No!
02:03No!
02:04Don't be shy, baby.
02:06Turn around.
02:08Woah.
02:12Look, I'm, I'm here in official business.
02:15Okay?
02:15I just, I need to see the couch.
02:16Captain.
02:17I actually, uh, I have a captain right here.
02:19You looking for me?
02:21What do you think you're doing in the boys locker room?
02:23Brett?
02:24He's the football captain?
02:26Of course he is.
02:28Who else could it be?
02:30Look, I need to ask you something.
02:32You know, you have a habit of walking in on me when I'm half naked.
02:36Brett, this is serious, okay?
02:37The girls on the cheerleading team said that I need to ask your permission to be put on the
02:41squad.
02:41Elson, I think these girls are messing with you.
02:43I'm the captain of the team, but that doesn't mean I decided the roster the coach is in.
02:48Oh, my God.
02:49Turn.
02:50Uh, I, I have to go.
02:53I finally did it.
02:54The thing I fantasized about since I was 12 years old.
02:58I kissed my brother's best friend.
03:00And holy hell, it felt good.
03:04The captain just got sacked by the team version!
03:09Touchdown!
03:11I slept.
03:18You guys are benched.
03:20It's just a joke.
03:22Seriously.
03:24Okay, come on.
03:25What?
03:26Just give it back.
03:27Whatever you...
03:28Hold on.
03:29You're texting Chad?
03:31I've been blocked for a month, but you're texting Chad at midnight.
03:35You know, Chad is a walking SGD.
03:36He sleeps with everything that moves.
03:38Are you, are you into that?
03:39Lauren, do I have a school plan?
03:39We're doing a project together.
03:40Ah, a school project.
03:42Yes!
03:42You know, Chad is definitely known for his academic passions.
03:45Well, it's the truth.
03:46So, can you just give me my phone back, please?
03:48Hold on.
03:49Let me do something really quick.
03:50What are you doing?
03:51There you go.
03:52Chad is deleted.
03:54What?
03:54What?
03:54Stop!
03:55They're already done.
03:56Oh, my God.
03:57Even my stories didn't go that far.
04:00I mean, if we actually have sex in real life, would I even survive that?
04:04You have double XL condoms, you see?
04:06There you go.
04:06I'll tell you this.
04:07It's for grow-ups.
04:09Do you actually use those?
04:10Yeah.
04:11They're used for drinks.
04:13There's no way.
04:14That's like a sleeping bag.
04:17What did you like to know?
04:22Yeah, well, you're the one leaving your stash out in the open, so...
04:25Yeah, you're only going to tackle me in the boys' locker room.
04:32I'm your roommate.
04:34And I'm also your brother's best friend.
04:38So, he does just see me as a liability.
04:41Yeah.
04:42We're roommates.
04:43And that means we're equals.
04:45And that means you don't get to tell me what to do.
04:49So, you're forgetting the point where I said that I am your brother's best friend.
04:52And Ryan's already given me permission to boss you around and do whatever I want you to do to make
04:57sure that you're safe.
04:58Why don't you consider me your brother, Pearl Max?
05:02Oh, my God.
05:13Did you actually show up in lingerie?
05:19Look, everyone.
05:21The strippers arrived.
05:22Let's all give Little Miss Hooker a round of applause for being tonight's entertainment.
05:29Thanks.
05:30At least I don't look so ordinary.
05:33You spend so much of your...
05:34Lick it up.
05:44Brett.
05:46What's up?
05:47Where are you?
05:49I'm at Club Five.
05:50I, um...
05:51I lost a dare.
05:53Yeah?
05:54What kind of dare?
05:57I need a man to claim me in front of everyone.
06:01Allison, are you asking me to go to a club after I told you that I didn't think it was
06:05a good idea?
06:05For you to go outside?
06:06Come on, Brett.
06:08Please, this is serious.
06:09Can you just come get me?
06:12How dare you even think, Brett?
06:15He'd rather die than be seen with a slut like you.
06:17You literally stalked him into the men's showers.
06:22I'm surprised he hasn't signed a restraining order yet.
06:29Where do you think you're going?
06:30Hey, grab her.
06:31What?
06:32No!
06:32Get off of me!
06:34You lost the dare.
06:35You pay the price.
06:38You need to loosen up.
06:40You couldn't get Brett's touchy, that's fine.
06:42We'll help you lower your standards.
06:44Don't you ever put your hands on my girl again?
06:53Brett.
06:55This is a total overreaction.
06:58Jason and Allie were just having fun together.
07:00I mean, look at how she's dressed.
07:02She's practically begging for it.
07:14You know, I better not see any videos of this online,
07:16or else you are fucking done.
07:19I'm losing my mind.
07:21I know the rules, but look at her.
07:24All I can think, just this once.
07:28What?
07:32Just say it!
07:32Just say it!
07:33I'm really trying not to get you hurt in all this.
07:36Because I'm just Ron's little sister?
07:38No.
07:39It's the only reason you look at me, huh?
07:41That is not true.
07:42Then tell me that you don't feel anything when you look at me.
07:45Tell me there's nothing happening right now!
07:47No.
07:47I can't.
07:49You can't actually do anything about it either.
07:52Please don't stop.
07:57Okay?
08:03I can't.
08:11What are you doing bro?
08:14Yeah.
08:15You're ruining everything.
08:16Yeah.
08:18I can't.
08:19Oh my god...
08:21What are you doing bro?
08:29I swear to god guys what are you doing right now talk to me
08:37what is he doing is he seriously going to kiss me in front of Ron
08:45yeah your eyes are super red hey Ron what's up man
08:49Allie called me dumbass and I had to sign up to see your face two inches away from hers
08:54so you guys better have a good ass explanation right now or I'm gonna come over there and beat your
08:58ass
08:58it's it was an accident okay we just
09:06all right ladies physical assessments today Allison you're up first
09:38no I'm not jealous what was that I promised Ron that I would take care of you keeping the
09:42vultures away just doing my job first exercise partner sit-ups
09:51all right come on you first
09:59let's go we don't have all day you ready Ricky I'm trying to detox Brett but how am I supposed
10:06to do that if he's everywhere let's go we don't have all day you want to play
10:16what the hell am I doing you okay bro and done Allison you killed it today
10:24you're gonna be our lead flyer in the next game really wow thank you
10:34congratulations uh good flirting you two
10:42you know what I need
10:50why aren't you still here why wouldn't I be here this is my morning routine I don't it's 8 30
10:56isn't the whole cheer squad supposed to be meeting today at 7 o'clock for like a hair makeup thing
11:00what nobody told me that had oh my god she's gonna kill me this is how I'm gonna get kicked
11:06off
11:06the team she's gonna she's gonna kill me because I'm late for our first performance
11:09hey hey hey hey it's okay well I'll go directly okay okay thank you
11:30hey uh sorry I'm late I didn't know the call time was 7 a.m. don't make excuses Scott
11:36late is late you're just too lazy hey what's your problem my problem is you dragging the whole team
11:52down it's the first game and you can't even be on time like I said nobody all right hey listen
12:03use my
12:04jersey make it look better than the original all right
12:31oh shit is that even allison ladies and gentlemen please welcome our
12:37state university cheerleading squad
13:20he's on the 30 yard line the 20 the 10
13:26yeah
13:27yeah
13:31yeah
13:45hey
13:46kiss kiss kiss kiss
13:55now we got ourselves
13:57a good old kiss cam stand off
13:58haven't seen one of these in years
14:03come on Alison
14:04let's give the people what they want
14:06I know I shouldn't kiss
14:08my brother's best friend
14:12oh but I want it
14:25I can't believe this is happening
14:27Kiss Kim, me and Brett
14:38Allison, don't pass out
14:44Thanks for keeping shout at bay
14:46No problem
14:55This is insane, I shouldn't kiss my best friend's sister
15:00It feels
15:04What the hell do you think you're doing kissing my sister and from the entire school run just calm down,
15:09okay?
15:09You're making a scene. I'm making a scene. Yeah, I'm making a scene you two were swallowing each other's faces
15:14On the Jumbotron stop beating like this, okay?
15:18Are you serious right now if I hadn't stepped in you two would have needed to get a room
15:24You're unbelievable
15:26I hate you
15:30Dude, I'm you cut the crap you tell me right now, but what's happening between you?
15:36I
15:37Okay, hey, we need to talk
15:40No, I sound like a mom
15:43This is ridiculous. Why am I texting him? He's literally in the next room
15:48You know what?
15:49Just go in there. Just ask him. Hey Brett, what the hell was that kiss?
15:54He kissed me back. He can't deny it this time. It's recorded and live streamed
16:00Okay
16:01Do or die
16:12At least Chad is honest about what he wants
16:15You don't think I'm being honest
16:22Oh, this is getting hot in here
16:23You know
16:25biology
16:28Whether it's biology or not
16:31I'm the one who's causing it
16:36Allie! Brett! He goes out here?
16:39Fucking shit, what the fuck is he doing here?
16:41Allie, hey
16:41Just get under fit on what? Brett, you have to get down
16:49Allie
16:49Allie
16:50Shown alone?
16:52Yeah, but I'm naked
16:53What? I'm naked
16:54Get out
16:57You're
16:58You're not though
17:00Okay, well
17:02I also have a vibe and you're ruining it, so
17:04I'm sorry, I just I wanted to get my charger
17:07I left it on here yesterday
17:08You got it, so
17:09I also wanted to say that
17:13I think you did a great job today
17:15And what was that?
17:19Sorry, I got water in my nose
17:21Okay
17:22I'm okay
17:22Don't drown
17:23Okay
17:23Okay
17:23Have a good soak, I guess
17:25Okay
17:26Bye
17:34Bye
17:34God, the illegal is going to die
17:38Good talk
17:39Wait
17:42I have to ask you something
17:44I'm going to ask him out on a date
17:47Don't be the little sister Allison
17:48Be the girl he kissed
17:49There's this place
18:00Look
18:01Charity case is running a charity sale
18:02Just finally getting back
18:04Did you know Allison hand makes these little trinkets?
18:07It's giving kindergarten arts and crafts
18:09I didn't know you two were coming together
18:12I came by myself
18:13Brett was kind enough to help me
18:16With my family's donation
18:17Daddy donated a little of his collection
18:19Nothing major
18:20Just some Birkin bags
18:21Some vintage Rolex watches
18:23Are you insane?
18:24You actually want this garbage
18:25You know, I value the artist
18:27That's just how expensive something looks
18:28So, five hundred dollars?
18:30What's that supposed to mean?
18:31She's nothing
18:32No, you're nothing
18:33Especially compared to her
18:35How dare you compare me to this peasant?
18:39Why don't you get out of here?
18:41No, I'm serious
18:41Don't come back to this table again
18:46You know, I do think this stuff is pretty
18:48What are you doing?
18:49What do you mean?
18:50You can't keep doing this to me
18:52You blew me off yesterday
18:54And then today you come and you buy all of my jewelry?
19:02There she is, my guest of honor
19:06Damn Allison, you look sexy
19:08Oh, thanks
19:14It's a cool party
19:15Yeah, you know, I threw this whole thing
19:16Just for you
19:18Really, for me?
19:20Why did you do that?
19:22You're single
19:23I'm single
19:24You need another reason?
19:27So, what's the deal with you and Brett, huh?
19:30No deal
19:31There's nothing happening between us
19:34Yeah
19:35No, why not?
19:36There's nothing between me and Brett, obviously
19:39Maybe I should just move on
19:40You ever play the pocket challenge?
19:42No, what's that?
19:44We each bite from one end
19:45Until one of us chickens out
20:02Damn it
20:03Why am I thinking about him at a time like this?
20:06Come on Allison, you're already here
20:12Dude, what the fuck?
20:14Game's over, let's go
20:16Excuse me
20:16What are you doing, huh?
20:17Get off of me
20:18What do you think you're doing?
20:19You're ruining my night
20:20Do you think I care that I'm ruining your night?
20:22What do you think Rob would think if he knew you were happy?
20:23Don't care
20:23How about you elect your someone who gives a fuck?
20:26Come on
20:26Okay
20:26No more of these stupid games
20:27You don't have to play this shit
20:28I know
20:29Let's go
20:29I don't have to play these stupid games
20:31I'm playing them because I want to
20:35Get the fuck away from me
20:51Oh my god, is she okay?
21:00Oh my god, is she okay?
21:03Hey, hey, look at me
21:05Look at me
21:05Look at me
21:06Hey, hey
21:07You okay?
21:08I can't
21:09I can't
21:10I can't
21:10I can't
21:11I can't
21:12Just put me down, Fred
21:13All right, here you go
21:13Put you down
21:14You know, you could have died at this
21:17And Chad, I mean, my god
21:19You have no business being around that guy
21:21Let alone being this close to kissing him, huh?
21:23Anybody who's had a brain cell
21:24Would realize he's a total fucking douche bag, right?
21:26That's not fair
21:27What's not fair?
21:30What's not fair?
21:30What am I not understanding?
21:31Huh?
21:32What don't I understand?
21:33That I don't know how this works
21:35Okay?
21:35I'm sorry
21:36I'm figuring it out
21:37I don't know how guys work all the time
21:40You know what?
21:40That's fantastic
21:41I'm so happy that you're able to admit that, okay?
21:51I've wanted to do that for so long
22:02Listen, you have no idea
22:03Every single time I saw you with him
22:06I always just wanted to tell you that you've always been more to me
22:10Than just my best friend's sister
22:13Why didn't you say anything?
22:15I made a promise to run
22:18So what are we now?
22:25What do you want us to be?
22:28What do you want me to be?
22:31I want you to be mine
22:36I think I already am
22:41But what about Ron?
22:42He's gonna kill you
22:45You know, Ron loves you very much
22:47He's very predictable to brother
22:48But I think he'll come around when he sees
23:00Thinking about you
23:09Hi, Captain
23:11When are you coming to pick me up?
23:12I am currently stuck in the worst traffic ever right now
23:16I'm two seconds away from ditching my car and just sprinting to you
23:19Well, as much as I'd love to see you
23:28Oh my god, someone's coming
23:29I have to go fake my own death
23:31Bye
23:32I'm glad that somebody's coming
23:52Hey, are you okay? You sounded sick
23:56Hey
23:57Hey
23:57Hey
23:57You found my bag
23:58I was looking for that
23:59Thank you
24:00No problem
24:04Attention all members of the cheerleading squad
24:07It has been brought to our attention that apparently someone on this squad is using illegal drugs
24:12I strongly suggest whoever's responsible to come forward now
24:16Otherwise, we'll be forced to contact the campus police for a thorough search
24:21Well, I think we all know someone who would do anything to stop being a fat friend, right?
24:28Well, well, well
24:29Look who needs drugs to keep up with the real athletes
24:32I knew it. No one gets that good that quick without cheating
24:37Allison
24:38Performance enhancing substances are grounds for immediate dismissal of the squad
24:42Coach, I promise you I've never seen those before, okay? Those aren't mine
24:46Right
24:47A cheater and a liar
24:49Coach, please listen to me
24:52I've never seen those. I don't know what they are
24:54I'm lying
24:55It's the only way a cow like her could ever compete with us
24:58They're mine
24:59Yeah, those are actually, uh, my, uh, vitamins
25:02Did you forget I asked you to hold on to my vitamins this morning?
25:06Yeah, sorry, I should have, uh
25:07You little bitch
25:08You think you can just walk in here and steal everything from me?
25:11That's enough, Rita
25:12My decision is final
25:18Listen up, when it's Allison's turn for the basket toss
25:20You're gonna have a little timing issue
25:22You want us to drop her?
25:24She could get seriously hurt
25:25That's the point
25:28Accidents happen all the time in cheerleading
25:29So tragic
25:30I can't do that, coach will kill me
25:33Fine, then say goodbye to those little supplements that keep you fitting in your uniforms
25:37I know everything, girls
25:39Every dirty little secret
25:41Do exactly as I say, or you're gone
25:43Your call
25:50Very sweet
25:53What happened back there?
25:55How did you know that Rita put those vitamins in my purse?
25:58I, uh, saw Rita putting something in your bag
26:00So I swapped it out
26:03I knew it
26:04I knew she was up to something
26:06You know, I heard her in the bathroom like 10 minutes before
26:09Yeah, she was throwing up
26:11It was when we were
26:14When we were having
26:20All right, on the count, you both perform an elevated prep
26:24Rita, you're up first
26:25Then Allison
26:38Okay, Allison
26:40Hey, great job you guys
26:50And that's game
26:52State loses 21 to 35
26:56Allie
26:58Look, I know
26:58It's not what you wanted
26:59It's okay
27:00Because you did good
27:01That's all that matters
27:02Thanks, bro
27:03I'm gonna go take a piss
27:04I'll be right back
27:04Ew
27:05Don't ever touch me again, weirdo
27:07Yo
27:09Allison
27:09What's it?
27:09She is
27:10Lookin' good, baby
27:12Y'all do private shows
27:13You know, something with a little extra bump and grind
27:17You're so gross
27:19Yo, what the hell?
27:20Are you serious?
27:21What?
27:22What's going on?
27:22I'm just waiting for the MVP
27:24No, don't play with me, bitch
27:25I'm more than one
27:27I'd do
27:28You're defending your slut's honor, huh?
27:30She's a public boss
27:32Everybody gets a ride
27:35Hey
27:36Hey, fuckface
27:38Why don't you keep my sister's name out of your fucking mouth?
27:45That's enough
27:47What's going on here?
27:48I mean, coach
27:48We all saw it
27:49Chad was gonna hit her
27:51You're gonna hit her?
27:52Get my office now
27:54You
27:55With me
27:56This is a really nasty cut
27:57What are you gonna do?
27:59Let's hide
28:00Yeah
28:00Okay
28:06Brett
28:07Brett, you in there?
28:08Yeah, I'm just washing up, man
28:10God, you have no idea
28:13How crazy you drive me
28:16You know, every single time I see you all I can think about is
28:22Doing this
28:24Do you need a hand man?
28:25No, I got everything I need
28:28Right here
28:29I feel what you're doing to me
28:31It's kind of hard to mess
28:33Yeah
28:35Hard to know
28:37Brett, you gotta speed this up, man
28:39We got your food
28:40It's gonna get cold
28:40You know my hands are soft, bro
28:42I can help you
28:42Hey, why don't you guys just beat it, all right?
28:44I'm gonna be a little while
28:46All right, let's just give him some space
28:47Enjoy your blue balls
28:48Yeah, don't pull muscles
28:50You know, I took a pretty big hit for you today
28:53I think I've earned some, uh
28:56Alice in physical therapy time, if you know what I mean
28:59You know, you could have just asked
29:02You didn't have to pick a fight to get lucky
29:06Pride goes pro after this, guaranteed
29:08I've heard the half-time show is gonna break the internet
29:11Captain Scott's changed the whole game
29:13Sick
29:14Ladies and gentlemen
29:15Let's make some noise for your state university cheerleading squad
29:18Led by Captain Allison Scott
29:23I will end you
29:24Save your applause, everyone
29:29You're cheering for a fraud
29:31Your precious new cheerleading captain didn't earn her spot
29:33She bought it
29:35This is insane, okay?
29:37I've never taken a drug in my life
29:39Oh, sweetie
29:40It's all coming out now
29:41I saw her taking pills
29:42For practice
29:43We trusted you
29:45Cheater
29:48Hey, anybody who messes with her, messes with me
29:51Open your eyes, Brett
29:53She's using you
29:54For the clout
29:55For the status
29:56Who was she before you slept with her?
29:59Nobody
29:59A total bottom feeder
30:01You know what?
30:01You're so full of shit, it's unbelievable
30:03How'd you get that video, huh?
30:05And what'd you do to it?
30:05You have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide
30:07I know some real doctors that can help you guys get healthy with the right way
30:10No more pills, no more purging, no more blackmail
30:14You'd really help us?
30:15Absolutely
30:15Listen, you guys are never gonna have to take any of Rita's sacred spells ever again
30:19So what's the catch?
30:21We're gonna make Rita take some of her own medicine
30:23This video
30:24This is the real conversation
30:26Not the edited one that Rita just played
30:30Not for the drugs
30:32These are the drugs that I gave the girls
30:33They're vitamins
30:34You can get these at any pharmacy in the world
30:37You wanna check these out, principal?
30:46Look at you, playing the victim
30:49You've been throwing yourself at me for weeks
30:52Just when I give you a chance, you run crying to Harrison
30:56Nothing but a little
30:57Shut up, dude
30:58Shut up
30:59What are you gonna do about it, Harrison?
31:01I don't have to do anything
31:02You're gonna get exactly what you deserve right now
31:04Mr. Williams
31:08Apparently, we've had a number of allegations of sexual harassment against you
31:13From various female students
31:15As of now, you are
31:16You can consider yourself officially reinstated as captain
31:21Thank you, principal
31:23All right, everyone
31:24Sorry for the unexpected drama
31:26I hope you enjoyed the show
31:27But we have a game to get back to
31:30So let's cheer on our wolves
31:45Let's win
31:46Puss down, Staten University wins it all
31:50Hahahaha
31:51Bos
31:51nach
31:53You
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