- 7 hours ago
He tries to buy out a gas station to expand his empire but is thwarted when two college students open a rival burger joint on the same lot using a secret aphrodisiac sauce
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:21I'm losing control of myself
00:00:30You're on my mind, just you and nobody else
00:00:39Girl, you're my obsession, don't know how much I can take
00:00:43I'm addicted to perfection, you're a habit I can't break
00:00:48The next time I see you, there's something I've got to say
00:00:56Yeah, girl, I want your body
00:00:59I want your body, girl
00:01:03I want your body, girl
00:01:04I know I need a girl like you
00:01:07I want your body, girl
00:01:16Let's go, everybody
00:01:17Let's go, Galapagia
00:01:24We don't wait till my baby come
00:01:29We don't wait till my baby come
00:01:31We will sail on the moon
00:01:34We will hide from the stars
00:01:37You, you, you, you
00:01:41We will take our sleep time
00:01:43We will take it too hard
00:01:46That's what they mean by still burning
00:01:48Woo!
00:01:49Well, those Friday nights
00:01:51We're gonna make it up, shake it up, make it up, bring it
00:01:54It takes all night, all night, all night
00:02:01Pull it so tight, this life's all right, all right
00:02:08But I'll be all by me
00:02:16Monday morning comes on, big boss man is still there
00:02:21You, you, you, you
00:02:24Two tales of兄弟 and Jaquie
00:02:25I want to live in my mind
00:02:27I want to live for you, yeah
00:02:30These are my new demonstration
00:02:33You, you, you, you, you
00:02:34Yeah, they are
00:02:35We're gonna make it up, live it up, give it up, give it up, ho, ho
00:02:38This better be good, eh
00:02:40All night, all night, all night
00:02:41What do you think you're doing?
00:02:43Stevie Quentin
00:02:44I'm telling you how to have a good time, too
00:02:46You're supposed to be in the casino
00:02:47Now, who's watching her money?
00:02:49Okay, look at some, go back in, all right.
00:02:53Okay, guys, that's two CalPenny, Bill.
00:02:59I've large buffalo chips, brown cookies, and a Dust Bowl shake.
00:03:03$8.57.
00:03:05You know, Artemis, I ought to be against a lot of stuff, this kind of crap.
00:03:08We don't wait till my baby come.
00:03:13We don't wait till my baby come.
00:03:17We don't wait till my baby come.
00:03:22We don't wait till my baby come.
00:03:25Good morning, everyone.
00:03:27Cup is on the way.
00:03:28This one is a slowdown.
00:03:50Hey, hey, hey, Drew, I need to talk to you about that loan.
00:03:53I told you, man, Kappa Kappa is a charitable organization.
00:03:57If I give a loan after every pledge and loses his allowance at the crap table, I'll never survive.
00:04:03I'm on scholarship.
00:04:04I don't get an allowance.
00:04:09All I need is 20 bucks.
00:04:12Sonny takes some advice from me, buddy.
00:04:15Next time you get some money in your pocket, call a girl, go to a movie, go out to dinner.
00:04:19But don't come back to the dungeon.
00:04:26Yo, sonny.
00:04:30I hear 18's running hot on the roulette wheel tonight.
00:04:33Thanks.
00:04:35All right, baby.
00:04:37It looks like you guys are going to make even more money than your last casino party.
00:04:45That's because Augie fixed all the games this time.
00:04:53So this is your room?
00:04:55Well, be it ever so humble, there is no place like home.
00:05:03Can I get your beer?
00:05:05Sure, Augie.
00:05:08You from around here?
00:05:10Yeah.
00:05:13How do you like Hopkins?
00:05:14Um, it's okay.
00:05:19So are you into marine biology?
00:05:21Well, uh, I know how to swim.
00:05:26What's your major?
00:05:28This year it's plant psychology.
00:05:30I'm thinking I'm switching again.
00:05:36You're, uh, a freshman, right?
00:05:38Yeah.
00:05:39Well, listen, you need to buy your turnpapers.
00:05:42Buy them from me.
00:05:43I get the best deals in town.
00:05:46Here you go.
00:05:49Here's to swimming with bowl-legged women.
00:05:52Cheers.
00:05:55Oh, what kind of beer is this?
00:05:58It's imported.
00:06:20Sir, I'm extremely sorry to have to pull you out of bed this late.
00:06:24But as chapter president of the Kappa Kappa Paternity, I felt it was my duty to report to you what's
00:06:28going on in my house.
00:06:30They're gambling in there, sir.
00:06:31I'm sure of it.
00:06:32I'll get to the bottom, please.
00:06:34Come on.
00:06:46Who are they?
00:06:48They're some old friends.
00:06:52That's my sister.
00:06:53That's a picture of my sister, Connie.
00:06:59You're Connie Woodard's sister?
00:07:02Wow.
00:07:03How is old Connie, anyway?
00:07:05Married.
00:07:05Five years.
00:07:06She has three kids.
00:07:08Hmm.
00:07:09Really?
00:07:17Augie.
00:07:20You're Augie Hamilton.
00:07:23What are you doing?
00:07:24Hey, what's going on?
00:07:25What are you doing?
00:07:26Wait, where are you going?
00:07:27If there was one thing my sister warned me about, it was Augustus Hamilton.
00:07:32Lies.
00:07:32All lies.
00:07:33It's not true.
00:07:34Besides, I've changed.
00:07:37Wait, you forgot your panties.
00:07:39Hi, Daddy.
00:07:42Young lady, you go home this instant.
00:07:45Dean, this is all...
00:07:46And you.
00:07:47Wait, it was initiation.
00:07:49I was...
00:07:52Yeah, that's work.
00:07:54Open the door at once, you little twit.
00:07:56Hey, guys, it's a raid.
00:07:57It's a dean.
00:07:58Come on.
00:07:59Open it.
00:08:00Open it.
00:08:00Open it.
00:08:02Open it.
00:08:02For the last time, this is a dean.
00:08:05Open this dean move.
00:08:07Open this door.
00:08:09Come on, Joey.
00:08:10Open it.
00:08:11Break it down.
00:08:21Everybody freeze.
00:08:24Welcome to Monte Carlo night, Dean.
00:08:25As you can see, the fine young men of Capa Capa have done quite a job turning this place
00:08:29into a casino, having a little fun, raising a little money, all for charity, of course.
00:08:34I have had it with you two.
00:08:36I want both of you in my office tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. sharp.
00:08:43Now close this place down.
00:08:48And stay away from my daughter.
00:08:53God.
00:09:01It's 964, 65, 66, and 38 cents.
00:09:10It's not too bad for a night's work.
00:09:11It would have been better if the dean hadn't shut us down.
00:09:13Of course, you didn't help anything.
00:09:14You tried to hose his daughter.
00:09:18Augie, you're not listening to me.
00:09:19What do you want me to do?
00:09:20Check IDs?
00:09:22What are we going to do now?
00:09:24I don't know.
00:09:25I guess I'll think of something.
00:09:27But right now, I got more important business.
00:09:33Hey, don't you're all alone.
00:09:36Where are we going?
00:09:38Let's just say to witness a major medical miracle, huh?
00:09:40You think these girls are old enough, Augie?
00:09:42I don't know if they certainly look it, but maybe we better check their IDs at the door.
00:09:46Come on.
00:09:47Now, don't worry.
00:09:47There's oxygen if you feel faint.
00:09:49Calvin, enter that last figure again, please.
00:09:51Yes, Dr. Duran.
00:09:54Still no change.
00:09:55Wow.
00:09:56This is amazing.
00:09:57Calvin, we want to...
00:09:58Oh, Dr. Duran.
00:09:59How's the world of medical research going, huh?
00:10:01Shh, shh, shh.
00:10:01Are those the guys?
00:10:02Shh, quiet.
00:10:03Don't you see these patients are sleeping?
00:10:05You're all going to have to get out of here.
00:10:06Oh.
00:10:06But I want to see first.
00:10:08You promise?
00:10:09Hey, it's not often these girls get to see a room full of tall timber.
00:10:13These men are suffering from a very serious abnormality called priapism.
00:10:17Priap what?
00:10:18Priapism is the state of constant erection.
00:10:21There must be thousands of young men who suffer from this condition.
00:10:24Funny, I never met one.
00:10:26Oh, Dr. Duran is very close to isolating the enzyme, which causes the problem.
00:10:29That's right, Cheryl.
00:10:30Someday soon, it'll be safe for these young men to wear tight jeans again.
00:10:33What is she doing in there?
00:10:39Hey.
00:10:41Wow.
00:10:42This is better than Chippendales.
00:10:44Ouch!
00:10:45I want you people out of here!
00:10:47Let's go, girls!
00:10:59I have never seen anything like it.
00:11:03I mean, it just stood there and looked at me.
00:11:06I mean, just think, it stays like that forever.
00:11:11Well, uh, what do you girls want to do now?
00:11:16We could go back to your place.
00:11:21Works every time.
00:11:27My, my, my.
00:11:34You boys have built up quite a record here at Hopkins.
00:11:38Mr. Hamilton?
00:11:44You've been here eight years.
00:11:48Mr. Taylor.
00:11:51Mr. Taylor.
00:11:53You've been here longer than I have.
00:11:56Where, where should I begin?
00:11:58Scalping football tickets.
00:12:00Fixing the university's beauty pageants.
00:12:05Barbecuing the Alpha Phi's mascot goat.
00:12:08The list goes on for pages here.
00:12:11Ah, here's one of my favorites.
00:12:14The freshman survival kit.
00:12:17Hey, hey, hey, but that was a good idea.
00:12:19For $50, you sold them a case of beer and a party pack of condoms.
00:12:25It's all in the packaging, sir.
00:12:26Oh, and who could forget the drill team video.
00:12:30Oh, now, hold on.
00:12:31What's wrong with that?
00:12:33You could have at least asked their permission before setting up a hidden camera in their dressing room.
00:12:38You see, we wanted to get them natural.
00:12:39No posing.
00:12:40Right.
00:12:42Let's face it, gentlemen.
00:12:44You're losers.
00:12:46Just a couple of small-time con men.
00:12:49I've given you every opportunity, but you let me down.
00:12:55But more importantly, you let yourselves down.
00:13:01I'm afraid there is no longer any place for you here at this university.
00:13:06So as of today, consider yourselves graduated.
00:13:12Graduated?
00:13:13My God, forgive me for setting you two clowns loose on society.
00:13:22Unbelievable, man.
00:13:24Now I've got to pay back that student loan.
00:13:27Graduation.
00:13:28You hear about it, but you never think it's going to happen to you.
00:13:31Hey, we've got to figure out what to do.
00:13:33Do?
00:13:34Augie, we've been in college eight years.
00:13:37We're not qualified to do anything.
00:13:39Hold on a minute.
00:13:40We started hundreds of businesses.
00:13:42We've made lots of money these last eight years, haven't we?
00:13:45Yeah.
00:13:45Well, all we've got to do is apply what we learn in college to the real world.
00:13:50You mean run a scam?
00:13:52Yeah.
00:13:52But in the real world, they call it a job.
00:13:56Oh, man.
00:13:57What?
00:13:58I told Sam I'd come over and help her at the station today.
00:14:01Forgot.
00:14:02Got to go.
00:14:03Wait up.
00:14:07Speak to me.
00:14:07Mr. McCormick is here to see you.
00:14:10Well, send him on in.
00:14:11And corral all my calls, honey.
00:14:13I don't want any interruptions.
00:14:16Come on in, E.G.
00:14:18Sit down.
00:14:19Got a job for you.
00:14:24E.G., right here is Hopkins College, full of young, hungry students who love to eat fast food.
00:14:31And over here, more than 20 blocks away, is Wrangler Bob's number 194.
00:14:38And in between, you've got your pizza joints, your taco joints, and your roast beef joints.
00:14:43Now, as they drive from point A, the college, to point B, us, their young and impressionable minds are likely
00:14:53to stray.
00:14:54Now, right here is a little pissant filling station right next to the college.
00:15:04It's perfectly clear for me.
00:15:06Do you understand what I'm saying?
00:15:09Uh, let me see if I got this straight.
00:15:11There's this, um, filling station next to the college.
00:15:15I want that piece of property, E.G., and I don't care what we have to do to get it.
00:15:20Have a nice day.
00:15:22Property's a problem.
00:15:24Come on, lighten up.
00:15:25We're just leaving school, not the planet.
00:15:27Yeah, but to live on this planet, unfortunately, you have to have a job.
00:15:30Oh, a job?
00:15:31You mean like working at Sam's filling station?
00:15:33You call that a job?
00:15:34That's not my job.
00:15:35Come on, your cousin pays you nothing, and you do all the work.
00:15:38Hey, don't start on Sam again.
00:15:40Since her father died, she needs my help.
00:15:42I'm just helping her out, okay?
00:15:46Man, I'm going to miss this place.
00:16:15Well, bud, what's happening, huh?
00:16:17Didn't Sam tell you?
00:16:18I guess you sell them the place.
00:16:26Samantha.
00:16:27You're late.
00:16:28Flex says you're thinking about selling the station.
00:16:30Yeah, well, I'm thinking about it.
00:16:32Why?
00:16:34What is he doing here?
00:16:35Didn't you know I was his friend just to get to you?
00:16:38Yeah?
00:16:38Well, it's working.
00:16:40You really get to me.
00:16:42Can I help you?
00:16:43Yes, go look up, please.
00:16:46So, uh, mind if I look under your hood?
00:16:49Uh, no, I'm fine.
00:16:54Look, Sam, I know you've had a tough time lately, but you just can't sell the place.
00:17:01Don't you have somewhere else to be, like, in custody?
00:17:05Hey, I'm only trying to help.
00:17:07Uncle Joe loves this old place.
00:17:10It's a landmark.
00:17:11It's probably listed in the historical register or something.
00:17:14Drew, you don't understand.
00:17:15I can't handle it anymore.
00:17:18I've got nothing but bills.
00:17:20The insurance is due.
00:17:21The bank is on my back.
00:17:22I don't even have enough money to put gas in the tanks.
00:17:27Samantha.
00:17:29We've had close calls before.
00:17:32You can make this work.
00:17:33We can help.
00:17:34Drew, do you think I want to run a gas station the rest of my life?
00:17:40If I were you, I'd sell.
00:17:41Maybe buy a dress or something.
00:17:42Get a little makeup.
00:17:45Now, Drew, listen.
00:17:46He's made me a pretty good offer.
00:17:49Who made you an offer?
00:17:50Wrangler Bob.
00:17:52Howdy, friends and neighbors.
00:17:54This is your buddy, Wrangler Bob.
00:17:56And you know, there's nothing better than gathering family
00:17:59and friends together around the old backyard grill
00:18:02and sizzling up some meat.
00:18:05And I know when you think about fast food,
00:18:07you think about something that would choke a possum.
00:18:10Not so at Wrangler Bob's.
00:18:12Each one of our Texas-style burgers
00:18:14is charbroiled over an open flame just for you.
00:18:19So come on over to our house.
00:18:21I have 750 of them.
00:18:24Bring the youngins.
00:18:25I love kids.
00:18:27And cut!
00:18:28Okay, reset.
00:18:30Rock.
00:18:30Which one of you rocket scientists
00:18:32thought about bringing that dog in here?
00:18:34Well, that's great.
00:18:35I want to do just one more.
00:18:37Well, if it's great,
00:18:38why do we have to do one more?
00:18:39That was just the first take.
00:18:42Listen, we have to do another take.
00:18:43It's going to be you I'm grabbing.
00:18:47I think I have all I need.
00:18:49Thank you, Mr. Bundy.
00:18:50E.G.
00:18:52That's a wrap.
00:18:54There's a slight problem with that property.
00:19:00The young woman needs time to think.
00:19:05Time is money, E.G.
00:19:09I am Wrangler Bob Bundy for crying out loud.
00:19:13I serve 90 tons of beef,
00:19:15180,000 pounds of french fries,
00:19:1850,000 gallons of chili,
00:19:20and a truckload of mom's hard apple pie
00:19:22to America 365 days a year.
00:19:26Why can't I get what I want?
00:19:28I have always gotten what I wanted,
00:19:30even as a child.
00:19:32My parents were afraid to deny me anything.
00:19:35That was shortly after my brother
00:19:37mysteriously disappeared.
00:19:38But, but, boss,
00:19:40E.G., how difficult can this be?
00:19:43You're being pushed around
00:19:44by a 16-year-old girl.
00:19:46She's 25.
00:19:47You were a fullback for Dallas.
00:19:50Oh, I was drafted in an off year,
00:19:53and I didn't play that much.
00:19:54I sat on the bench.
00:19:56E.G., do you have any idea
00:19:57how much a Wrangler Bob's restaurant
00:19:59could make in that location?
00:20:02I don't care of the one.
00:20:03A lot.
00:20:04Now I want you to get over there
00:20:05and corral that filly,
00:20:07even if it means
00:20:09offering her more money.
00:20:14Maybe Wrangler Bob is right.
00:20:16Maybe this would be a good location
00:20:17for a restaurant.
00:20:18I don't think she should sell.
00:20:20Maybe we could do it.
00:20:21Do what?
00:20:23Oh, for the restaurant.
00:20:24Augie, are you on drugs?
00:20:26No, no, no.
00:20:27Look, if Wrangler Bob thinks
00:20:28it's a good place for a restaurant,
00:20:29well, maybe he's on to something.
00:20:30I mean, those big companies
00:20:31do lots of marketing, research.
00:20:33That's a good point.
00:20:34Forget it.
00:20:34I'm not listening to another one
00:20:36of your get-rich-quick scams.
00:20:38Come on, Sam.
00:20:40Yeah, well, you remember
00:20:41the sorority car wash?
00:20:42Come on, that was a great idea.
00:20:44Oh, you didn't tell me
00:20:45they'd be washing cars in the nude.
00:20:47I mean, I almost got locked up.
00:20:49Yeah, but this is different.
00:20:50This is a legitimate business.
00:20:51We can make a fortune.
00:20:52Make a fortune?
00:20:53It's all I can do
00:20:54to keep this place afloat,
00:20:56and you're talking about
00:20:57opening a restaurant.
00:20:58I mean, do you have any idea
00:21:00how much money that would take?
00:21:01Money?
00:21:02Is that all you're worried about?
00:21:05Augie, wake up and smell the coffee.
00:21:09She likes the idea.
00:21:17Calvin?
00:21:18Dr. Durant, what happened?
00:21:19I was working on the priapism formula.
00:21:21There was an explosion.
00:21:22I...
00:21:22Oh, I feel...
00:21:23You better sit down.
00:21:26Are you all right?
00:21:27I feel strange.
00:21:28Oh, my.
00:21:29I better call an ambulance.
00:21:32Hello?
00:21:33Hello?
00:21:33Uh, uh, we need an ambulance
00:21:35over at Hopkins University
00:21:36immediately.
00:21:36It's an emergency.
00:21:38No, no, no, that's Hopkins
00:21:39with an H.
00:21:40Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:21:40Don't put me on hold.
00:21:41Oh, perfect.
00:21:43Don't worry, I'm sure you'll...
00:21:43I'm sure you'll just be...
00:21:44I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm,
00:21:46I'm dressing.
00:21:47Oh, my.
00:21:48I don't need an ambulance, Calvin.
00:21:50I need you.
00:21:50Oh, oh, my.
00:21:52Dr. Durant.
00:21:53But this was not my job description.
00:21:55It is now.
00:21:57Oh, oh, oh, my.
00:21:58Uh, uh, I hope I get credit for this.
00:22:01Eek.
00:22:02Okay, I can come with you.
00:22:03Oh, my.
00:22:05Hey, Calvin.
00:22:08Calvin.
00:22:11Must be here.
00:22:12Everything's gone.
00:22:18Oh.
00:22:20Oh, looky, look at this, man.
00:22:22Calvin's on TV.
00:22:26Calvin?
00:22:28I don't know what channel that is.
00:22:30Calvin?
00:22:30What are you doing?
00:22:32Just hold still.
00:22:33Come on.
00:22:38That's great, man.
00:22:39How do you do that?
00:22:41What happened, Calvin?
00:22:43Oh, man.
00:22:43It was amazing, guys.
00:22:45Dr. Durant was working on the priapism formula.
00:22:47She must have accidentally inhaled the fumes.
00:22:50Next thing I know, she's ripping off her clothes.
00:22:52And mine.
00:22:54Guys, I've never been with a woman so turned on.
00:22:57Calvin, you've never been with a woman.
00:22:59Oh, yeah.
00:22:59Right.
00:23:00Come on.
00:23:01We need to use your computer.
00:23:03Wow.
00:23:06I need you to pull alumni records.
00:23:08No problem.
00:23:09I'll just tap into the databank.
00:23:13Anything particular?
00:23:14How about kappa kappas and banking?
00:23:16No problem.
00:23:22Okay.
00:23:23Scanning the alumni records.
00:23:24No.
00:23:26No.
00:23:29Wait.
00:23:30Here's one.
00:23:31Here's our man, loan officer at Federal Bank.
00:23:34What's all this about?
00:23:35I'll explain later.
00:23:36Let's go.
00:23:41Augie, you can't just put on a suit and tie and think.
00:23:45You can walk into a bank and they'll hand you money.
00:23:47That ain't the way it works.
00:23:47Don't worry.
00:23:48I got it handled.
00:23:49I'm a money guy.
00:23:50We talk the same language.
00:23:53A bank can get anything he wants as long as he knows how to ask for it.
00:23:58A loan?
00:24:00Totally out of the question.
00:24:01This is a bank, isn't it?
00:24:03We may be a bank, but we certainly don't make loans to the unemployed.
00:24:08You must have standing in the community.
00:24:11Net worth.
00:24:12A J-O-B job.
00:24:14So what you're saying is if I don't need the money, you'll be happy to give me a loan?
00:24:18Exactly.
00:24:19But you haven't heard the entire proposal yet.
00:24:21I don't need to.
00:24:22You have no job, no credit, no money.
00:24:25But if I get the loan, then I'll have a job.
00:24:27I am sorry.
00:24:29Good day.
00:24:32You're right.
00:24:33A Kappa Kappa never relies on anyone for help.
00:24:35He blazes his own trail.
00:24:37Kappa Kappa.
00:24:39You're kidding.
00:24:40I'm a Kappa.
00:24:41No.
00:24:42Well, in that case, have a seat.
00:24:45I am always eager to help out a fraternity brother.
00:24:47You realize, of course, the bank will need some sort of collateral for a loan of this size.
00:24:54Collateral?
00:24:56Tangibles.
00:24:57Stocks.
00:24:57Bonds.
00:24:58What about this service station?
00:25:00Do you own this property?
00:25:02No, but I represent the owner.
00:25:05Naturally, we will need the owner's signature.
00:25:08That's no problem.
00:25:11No problem.
00:25:28You know these, too.
00:25:34Whoa.
00:25:40Hey, hey, now, hold on.
00:25:42Come on, it was just an accident.
00:25:43It's all right.
00:25:43You don't need this.
00:25:44Stop it.
00:25:45Hey, why don't you just high-tailed out of here, cowboy, huh?
00:25:47Mr. McCormick, you better go.
00:25:49I'll sign these and bring them to you later.
00:25:51All right, well, just please be sure you do.
00:25:52I gotta have these back today.
00:25:54Now, Wrangler Bob's a patient man, but he won't wait forever.
00:25:58Come on, guy.
00:26:00You mean after all my hard work, you were just gonna take the money and run?
00:26:03This is none of your business, Augie, so stay out of my face.
00:26:06This is great, Sam.
00:26:07Hey, wait a second.
00:26:08We gotta talk.
00:26:09Hold on.
00:26:11You guys, please leave me alone.
00:26:14Sam, would you just listen a minute?
00:26:17Peace.
00:26:18Your eyes on this.
00:26:19Now you don't have to sell.
00:26:21Yeah, well, where did you manage to steal that much money?
00:26:23Come on, I'll rob a filling station.
00:26:25Look, we have been through all this before.
00:26:27Now it is time for me to live my own life.
00:26:30Now I'm sorry if this doesn't fit in with your plans, but I have made my decision.
00:26:34You're just being stubborn, just like you have always been.
00:26:37No, I am being realistic, like you have never been.
00:26:40You know why your father never sold this place?
00:26:43I mean, look around.
00:26:44You may see a run-down filling station, but he saw a dream.
00:26:47His own business.
00:26:49You can't sell a dream, Sam.
00:26:52That's just it, Drew.
00:26:54This isn't my dream.
00:27:03Is this fixed here, bud?
00:27:05Just a little dirt and a fuel line.
00:27:07Oh, thanks.
00:27:08I'm going to the city.
00:27:09I'll be back in a little while.
00:27:10You okay, Sammy?
00:27:12Yeah, I guess so.
00:27:13I mean, I don't know.
00:27:15I'm just tired, bud.
00:27:17I'm tired of everybody telling me what to do.
00:27:19Well, nobody could ever tell you what to do, even when you're a little girl in pigtails.
00:27:25I just feel like I'm letting Pop down.
00:27:29I don't want to fail.
00:27:31Oh, I think Pop would want you to give it your best shot.
00:27:34Don't worry, Sammy.
00:27:36You'll do the right thing.
00:27:37Thanks, bud.
00:27:55Roll camera.
00:27:56Mark it.
00:27:57Marker.
00:28:01And action.
00:28:03Howdy, friends and neighbors.
00:28:04This is your buddy, Wrangler Bob.
00:28:07How's that chili, partners?
00:28:09Chili pretty good, Wrangler Bob.
00:28:10Cut, cut, for God's sake.
00:28:12Give me five minutes.
00:28:13Five minutes.
00:28:14Give me five minutes.
00:28:14Take five.
00:28:19This better be important, E.G.
00:28:21I got 12 more of these to do today.
00:28:23It's the contract, boss.
00:28:24Boss, I'll have it signed and on your desk this afternoon.
00:28:27Now you're cooking with gas, E.G.
00:28:30You know I offered that old man good money for that property, but he wouldn't sell.
00:28:33The old coot didn't know diarrhea from a chocolate shake.
00:28:37Now the groundhogs are bringing his mail.
00:28:39And that little filly's going to sell us that property for pocket change.
00:28:43Just goes to show you, E.G., there's nothing money won't buy.
00:28:46That's what I like about America.
00:28:48Mr. Bundy.
00:28:49Uh, not now, sweetheart.
00:28:52No autographs.
00:28:53We're talking business.
00:28:53Uh, no, boss.
00:28:54This is, uh, Samantha Davis.
00:28:56You know, the owner of the...
00:28:58You know, the little filly, the old coot's daughter, I'd like to thank you.
00:29:03Thank me?
00:29:04Yes, thank you for helping me make up my mind.
00:29:06I almost did a really stupid thing.
00:29:10But now I know why Pop would never sell to people like you.
00:29:15And another thing, Mr. Bundy, you're wrong.
00:29:17There are some things that money can't buy.
00:29:20Like dreams.
00:29:47I'll just sit there.
00:29:48We're going to open a restaurant.
00:29:49We have a lot of work to do.
00:29:50Sam, what are you talking about?
00:29:52Read my lips.
00:29:54We're going to take the check and kick Wrangler Bob's scrawny little butt.
00:29:59All right.
00:30:00Dude!
00:30:04You guys are disgusting.
00:30:06The food here is.
00:30:07Me, I like it, except when the sauce drips on my shirt.
00:30:10Hey, you know, that's a good idea.
00:30:12We could use the secret sauce.
00:30:13Maybe Calvin can help us on it.
00:30:15I'll give him a call.
00:30:15Why are we doing this?
00:30:18Research.
00:30:19Look, the food here stinks.
00:30:21But his restaurants are hugely successful.
00:30:24And why?
00:30:25Because Wrangler Bob has a theme.
00:30:28Let's get his name.
00:30:29Exactly.
00:30:30Any ideas?
00:30:34What about a service station?
00:30:48Ice Coat!
00:30:48Fire here!
00:30:49What is going on here?
00:30:50I've been gone an hour, and this place is out of control.
00:30:53I asked some friends over to help with the renovation.
00:30:55Help?
00:30:55Who's helping?
00:30:56This is a party.
00:30:57A party?
00:30:58Look, you get kicked out of college, and you think you found a new place to entertain your friends.
00:31:03Relax, Sam.
00:31:03Haven't you ever heard of Tom Sawyer and the Whitewashed Fence?
00:31:06Jesus.
00:31:06I see reflections of the world we knew.
00:31:10Oh, you're not the way my heart stood before you.
00:31:16I know I've got to find a way
00:31:21To make it through another city day.
00:31:25I keep my head up to the sky.
00:31:29Cause soon I'll be lying by your side.
00:31:35You look, you're naked if we try.
00:31:44I feel your spirit when I sleep at night.
00:31:48And I know the dreams I'm dreaming through so right.
00:31:54I see the changes that you're going through.
00:31:58But my world seems so lonely without you.
00:32:03I know I know I've got to find a way
00:32:08To make it through another city day.
00:32:13I keep my head up to the sky.
00:32:17Cause soon I'll be lying by your side.
00:32:22I hope you make it if we try.
00:32:25I hope you make it through another city day.
00:32:56I know I've got to find a way
00:33:01To make it through another city day.
00:33:03Hey, Drew, what do you think about these uniforms?
00:33:05Feels great.
00:33:06What do you think?
00:33:07I just bought these.
00:33:13That's good.
00:33:14That's good.
00:33:15That's perfect.
00:33:15That is not...
00:33:16Did you put this up here?
00:33:17Sam, would you mind for a little work in here, all right?
00:33:19Now, just move that up.
00:33:20Do it, Arnie.
00:33:21What's the problem?
00:33:36Well, you did it, guys.
00:33:38I spent night and day working on Wrangler Bob's sauce.
00:33:42Everything in it is artificial.
00:33:44Nitrates, citrates, diglycerides, guar gum.
00:33:47I don't know how he gets away with selling this stuff.
00:33:50Well, can we duplicate it?
00:33:52Who would want to?
00:33:53I used all my scientific resources and creative imagination and came up with my own special sauce.
00:33:58What's that?
00:34:00Ketchup and mayo. Mix it up with a little chocolate syrup. Have a taste.
00:34:08Not bad. Let's try it on a little USDA inspecting, huh?
00:34:19We're trying our first burger with Calvin's sauce on it. Want to join us?
00:34:23Hey.
00:34:25What's wrong, partner?
00:34:27Partner. Partner.
00:34:28Augie, partners work together.
00:34:30I mean, they share their decisions, they share their responsibilities.
00:34:33I haven't felt a part of this place since you and Drew just took over.
00:34:37It's kind of like when we dated. You have no respect for me.
00:34:42Dated? Come on, Sam, we only went out one time.
00:34:44I know that. I know that. It was a total disaster.
00:34:47Look, Augie, let's just face it. You and I just don't get along.
00:34:52You know, Sam, we've all worked damn hard trying to put this place together.
00:34:55But I'm tired of your attitude.
00:34:57You know, you're on your own.
00:34:58But don't worry about me, because I'm a survivor.
00:35:01There's a lot of things out in the real world Augie Hamilton can do.
00:35:06Yeah, well, anyways, no matter how much hard work or time I've invested, I'm out of here.
00:35:10So go.
00:35:11I'm going. Fine.
00:35:12And don't try and stop me.
00:35:13Who's stopping you?
00:35:14I'm opening my door.
00:35:16The next sound you'll hear is me starting my engine.
00:35:18I'm history.
00:35:20I'm out of here.
00:35:21A memory.
00:35:43Are you calling me?
00:35:44I swore I thought I heard you calling me out there.
00:35:46I mean, it might have been the wind, but maybe you were calling.
00:35:48Augie, let's have some burgers.
00:35:54Here's our first batch of burgers with Calvin's sauce on it.
00:35:57Dig in.
00:35:58No, no, I'm too nervous.
00:36:01It's pretty good.
00:36:01All right.
00:36:03All right.
00:36:03Ready to wrangler Bob's.
00:36:05What do you think?
00:36:07I think as burgers go, they're not bad.
00:36:09Calvin, you did a great job.
00:36:10Everybody did.
00:36:11That's because we have something that wrangler Bob doesn't.
00:36:15A desperate need to succeed.
00:36:17Yes.
00:36:19Here's to Pop's burger, Stace.
00:36:20Hip, hip.
00:36:21Hooray.
00:36:22All right.
00:36:22Yay.
00:36:45Hold on, E.G.
00:36:46Wait till my quarter runs out.
00:36:48What's this?
00:36:50Grand opening, Pop's burger, Stace.
00:36:53I am losing my sense of humor, E.G.
00:36:57All right.
00:36:59You know, I told you you should have just let me lean on her with a cattle prod or something.
00:37:04Well, thank goodness I don't hire you to thank her.
00:37:07I run a respectable corporation here, E.G.
00:37:10We don't have to resort to intimidation to get what we want.
00:37:14All it takes is a little finesse.
00:37:18Something subtle.
00:37:20Looks like it's time for wrangler Bob to get personally involved.
00:37:25E.G., uh, you have change for a dollar.
00:37:43Where do you suppose everybody is?
00:37:45Maybe we should just give them a little more time.
00:37:46We've been saying that for hours.
00:37:48It takes a while for a new establishment to catch on.
00:37:51Just relax, huh?
00:37:53Something is definitely wrong here.
00:37:55I mean, we haven't had one customer all day.
00:37:57Where is everybody?
00:38:08Where is everybody?
00:38:10Folks, don't look now, but here he comes.
00:38:13Your plan to guide us, Frank and God.
00:38:17We're here, boss.
00:38:19Tonight.
00:38:20Hi, buckaroos and buckarits.
00:38:22I hate you.
00:38:43Well, well, well, well, it's a nice little establishment you got here.
00:38:48Sir, is there something we can get for you?
00:38:50Sir, is there something we can get for you?
00:38:50Oh, I didn't come here to get anything.
00:38:52I came here to give you something.
00:38:54A little advice.
00:38:55You see, this is America.
00:38:59And America was built on fast food.
00:39:02Those golden arches are our foundation.
00:39:05The very cornerstone of our greatness.
00:39:08And it takes more than just a good location to make it in the fast food business.
00:39:14It takes marketing surveys, demographic studies, product positioning, price per unit on volume generated, franchise overhead.
00:39:25Well, that's got nothing to do with food.
00:39:27Well, you've pretty much proven that.
00:39:29Well, thank you.
00:39:31Now, I don't want to rain on y'all's parade, but you see, y'all are just little bitty piss
00:39:38saints in this business.
00:39:40So little, in fact, that if you're not careful, you're liable to get stepped on.
00:39:46So don't fight me.
00:39:48You can't win.
00:39:50Now, these badges will make you official deputies of mine.
00:39:54And they're good for one free small soda at any Wrangler Bob's locations.
00:39:59Tax not included.
00:40:01Boy, we're prohibited by law.
00:40:04So, remember, little piss saints never win.
00:40:09Have a nice day.
00:40:15We're just not making it.
00:40:18Why don't you give me some numbers?
00:40:21Forty-three dollars and twenty-eight cents.
00:40:25That's not a very good day.
00:40:27That's the total for the week.
00:40:29A week?
00:40:33Maybe Wrangler Bob was right.
00:40:35Maybe we're in over our heads here.
00:40:38Yeah, maybe.
00:40:40The question is, what are we going to do about it?
00:40:48Hi.
00:40:50Can I help you?
00:40:51Can I speak to the manager, please?
00:40:52Oh, yes.
00:40:53Perhaps I can be of service?
00:40:54Actually, I'm the person that you should talk to.
00:40:56Sam, why don't you put these in the back end?
00:40:58Give me a shake, huh?
00:40:59Oh, yes.
00:41:03Oh, yes.
00:41:08Oh, yes.
00:41:09Oh, yes.
00:41:10Mary Beth Benson, Delta NuPi sorority?
00:41:12Oh, I'm Kappa Kappa myself.
00:41:14Augie Hamilton?
00:41:16Yes, I've heard of you.
00:41:18Um, anyway, we're holding our annual fall cotillion tomorrow.
00:41:21And at the last minute, our regular caterer fell out.
00:41:24We're having some difficulty locating a replacement on such short notice.
00:41:28So we decided to serve, shall we say, a common meal.
00:41:34Do you think you could accommodate a small guest list?
00:41:36Say 150.
00:41:38People?
00:41:40Yes.
00:41:41Uh, that's tomorrow, right?
00:41:44Tomorrow.
00:41:46Well, I think we could fit you in.
00:41:48Good.
00:41:49We'll be there at 3 p.m. sharp.
00:41:51And could you make sure your help is clean and suitably attired?
00:41:56Absolutely.
00:41:57No problem.
00:41:58Good.
00:42:05Now, that is how to make a sale.
00:42:08All because of me, it seems that our luck is changing.
00:42:11I wouldn't count on it, Augie.
00:42:13Here's your shake.
00:42:19Augie, you know, when the Delta NuPi's to a party, everyone on campus knows about it.
00:42:23I'll sweat.
00:42:24We'll handle it.
00:42:25Look, this is a big break, man.
00:42:27You've got to make an ace impression.
00:42:33What?
00:42:34You're not listening to me again, are you?
00:42:36You know, Drew, sometimes I really don't understand women.
00:42:40So what?
00:42:41Take Sam, for instance.
00:42:43I mean, one minute she's really nice.
00:42:44You know, one of the guys.
00:42:46Then all of a sudden she freaks out over nothing.
00:42:48Look, Augie, maybe that's because you treat Sam like one of the guys.
00:42:51Trust me, she is not.
00:42:53What is that supposed to mean?
00:42:56Sam has always been funny when it comes to dating and stuff like that.
00:42:59She's very independent.
00:43:01Look, I think she likes you a lot more than she's willing to admit.
00:43:04Go on.
00:43:05Get out of here.
00:43:07Yeah, I don't understand it either.
00:43:09Anyway, we've got a lot more important things to do than worry about your love life.
00:43:12You know, we've got a party tomorrow, 150 people.
00:43:15You said it's no problem.
00:43:16We'll handle it.
00:43:17Come on.
00:43:18Right.
00:43:25That's a slow day.
00:43:27Every day is a slow day since we opened.
00:43:29That's why this party is going to save us.
00:43:31Three racks of buns.
00:43:33Augie, what do you think?
00:43:34I mean, are we going to make it?
00:43:40Well, that's kind of up to you, isn't it?
00:43:43Well, we're in this together.
00:43:46Who would have thought that would have happened?
00:43:49Maybe some things are just meant to be, huh?
00:43:53Well, yeah, I mean, I mean, the way you've handled it, it's been a big job and you've done it
00:43:59well.
00:44:00I mean, I'm impressed.
00:44:03Did Drew put you up to this?
00:44:05Drew?
00:44:06No.
00:44:07No.
00:44:08I'm just worried, Augie.
00:44:10I mean, I've got to make this work.
00:44:12I mean, this is all I have.
00:44:13You and Drew have a college education, but if this fails, I don't know what I would do.
00:44:21Don't you worry.
00:44:23Everything's going to be okay.
00:44:24All right.
00:44:27All right.
00:44:29So why don't you go home and get some rest?
00:44:31I've got a million details before tomorrow.
00:44:33Thanks.
00:44:38Don't work too hard.
00:45:20Oh, hi, Augie.
00:45:21Yep.
00:45:22Got a batch of that sauce for the new pie party?
00:45:24Yeah.
00:45:25Here it is, all ready to go.
00:45:26All right.
00:45:27Listen, I've been thinking, why don't you join us tonight?
00:45:29Have a little fun, huh?
00:45:30No, I don't think so.
00:45:32I'm not very good at parties.
00:45:34I spend most of my time here or at the movies.
00:45:36Anyway, I've got a lot of work to catch up on.
00:45:38You've been working too hard lately.
00:45:39Why don't you loosen up a little?
00:45:40Take off the lab coat.
00:45:41Come with us.
00:45:43Come on, it'll be fun.
00:45:44Besides, we could use your help.
00:45:46Come on.
00:45:47All right, if you really need me.
00:45:48Absolutely.
00:45:50So, how's your research going, Calvin?
00:45:52Well, I'm analyzing Dr. Duran's love drug.
00:45:56It seems we've discovered a powerful aphrodisiac.
00:46:00Apparently, the substance affects a part of the brain that triggers complete sexual freedom.
00:46:05One whiff and you lose all your inhibitions.
00:46:08Yeah, I guess that would explain old hot pants Duran's reaction, huh?
00:46:11Yeah, old hot pants was an animal.
00:46:14Then just like that, eight hours later, the stuff wore off.
00:46:17I guess it's safe.
00:46:21All set.
00:46:22Think this party's going to be any fun?
00:46:24I'm betting on it, Calvin.
00:46:25Let's go.
00:46:27Let's go.
00:47:07Sam, you look different. I mean, uh, beautiful.
00:47:15Thanks, Auggie. You look nice, too.
00:47:23Well, if this is a college party, I certainly haven't missed much.
00:47:27Oh. They're not all like this.
00:47:34Well, should we get to work?
00:47:36Yeah.
00:47:39How could you honor Auggie and those incompetents?
00:47:43Donald, I am not going to say this again.
00:47:46For the fifth time, they were the only ones I could get on such short notice.
00:47:52Now, shut up and go get me a hamburger. You know I have low blood sugar and I must eat
00:47:54something.
00:47:55You'd be better off passing out.
00:48:02Isn't this party great?
00:48:04What's your taste?
00:48:06These smell good.
00:48:07Don't they? I think I'll just taste one little bite.
00:48:12Sam, what are you doing?
00:48:13What, Auggie? I'm having a bite.
00:48:14What are you doing?
00:48:14No, no, no. You're eating up the profits is what you're doing.
00:48:16Now, save these for the guests, all right?
00:48:17Let's go. It's dinner time.
00:48:19Good night.
00:48:19Are these happily ready to be served?
00:48:21Uh, yes, sir.
00:48:22Here you go.
00:48:30Mmm. This is absolutely the best burger I have ever tasted. Here, try it.
00:48:36Please.
00:48:37You know I don't like bread and meat. Mother would never allow me to eat it.
00:48:41What is wrong with you?
00:48:44I feel strange.
00:48:48Floss.
00:48:51But you always floss.
00:48:54I don't wanna floss, Donald.
00:48:56I wanna walk on the wild side!
00:49:00We're gonna take a little break right now and try some of those delicious burgers.
00:49:08These are great.
00:49:14Wait a minute. I feel a little different. Let's rock and roll!
00:49:18Let's rock and roll.
00:49:21Let's rock and roll.
00:49:24Let's rock and roll.
00:49:27Let's rock and roll.
00:49:29Let's rock and roll.
00:49:31Let's rock and roll.
00:49:31I see the bullets and their recreations.
00:49:34I know the girls in the parking lot.
00:49:37They don't know about appreciation.
00:49:40All they say is give me what you got to say
00:49:43I want, I want, I want, I want it
00:49:46You're gonna make my desperation
00:49:49You're gonna get into your skin
00:49:52Every time you think you're gonna switch
00:49:55All your sins listen to me
00:49:57I want, I want, I want it
00:50:00You gotta really do this
00:50:04Yeah, I gotta have it
00:50:07Come on, give it up
00:50:09Yeah
00:50:09I want, I want, I want, I want it
00:50:24Do that, Roland, for sure
00:50:30I see the roars and the rippling
00:50:32I know the gold in the pocket
00:50:35Do you listen to this in the song?
00:50:38Yeah
00:50:39I had a little bit more oregano
00:50:40I want, I want, I want, I want, I want this
00:50:45Yeah, I'm in it
00:50:47Yeah, I've got it up afterwards
00:50:52Oh, yeah, I want, I want, I want, I want this
00:50:57Oh, yeah, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want this
00:51:49Raise your hand
00:51:50All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, hey, our first contestant tonight is
00:51:54Miss Mary Beth Benson, whoa
00:51:56Miss Benson has a dream to see world peace and teach kindergarten
00:52:01Whoa, as you can see, she's blessed with a great pair of personalities
00:52:06Whoa, no respect, she gets no respect at all
00:52:09What are you doing?
00:52:11I'm taking you home, what are you doing?
00:52:13I'm taking you home
00:52:14I am home, stay in front of me
00:52:21No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, everyone, go home, go home, drive safely, have a good night
00:52:30What?
00:52:33What?
00:52:34What are you doing?
00:52:40Oh, my God
00:52:43Oh, my God
00:52:54Oh, my God
00:52:55Oh, my God
00:52:55Oh, my God
00:52:56Oh, my God
00:53:08Oh, where'd you go, my little chickadee?
00:53:13Oh, Calvin!
00:53:15Come here!
00:53:22Mary Beth, I know you're in here.
00:53:30Mary Beth?
00:53:41Mary Beth, don't be afraid.
00:53:47Mary Beth?
00:53:54Mary Beth?
00:53:57Mary Beth?
00:53:58Wow, you must be into aerobics.
00:54:00I'm a phys ed major, Calvin.
00:54:02And I'm gonna give you a workout.
00:54:06Mary Beth?
00:54:07Oh!
00:54:08That man shorts!
00:54:10Oh!
00:54:11Oh!
00:54:13Oh!
00:54:15Oh!
00:54:17Oh!
00:54:18Oh!
00:54:21Mary Beth?
00:54:22Are you in here?
00:54:24Mary Beth?
00:54:26Oh!
00:54:27Oh, my God!
00:54:31Oh, Mary Beth?
00:54:32Wait, Mary Beth!
00:54:34Mary Beth?
00:54:37Mary Beth?
00:54:39Mary Beth!
00:54:45Augie doggie, they ate all the burgers. I mean, we're a hit.
00:54:48Sam.
00:54:50Hey, do you know how hard it is to act like I don't care about you when I really do?
00:54:54Sam, you didn't eat a burger by any chance, did you?
00:54:56No, you told me not to, and I didn't.
00:54:59Augie, I wouldn't do anything you didn't tell me to do.
00:55:01Now, come on, have a drink. I mean, let's celebrate. They love us.
00:55:04That tastes terrible. What's in it?
00:55:06Oh, I loved Calvin's sauce so much that I mixed it with some tequila, and then I ate the worm.
00:55:12Now, come here, Augie, Sam.
00:55:13No, Sam, you didn't.
00:55:14Augie, Augie, don't you like me? Don't you want me?
00:55:17Yeah, I mean, no. I mean, yes, but not like that.
00:55:20Augie from Calvary.
00:56:00Where are we?
00:56:04oh what have you done what have i done what have you done you know just what i thought we
00:56:10could
00:56:10be friends you go and do something like this oh sam calm down it's not what you think it's
00:56:14it's a little more complicated no no it's very simple i got drunk and you nailed me
00:56:18okay nothing happened trust me trust you i don't even like you well obviously you liked me last
00:56:32night
00:56:33you see calvin
00:56:53do i look like i've seen calvin
00:57:05calvin calvin you in here
00:57:15help somebody
00:57:21calvin aggie oh calvin please do it in here oh freezing my buns off hurry up and get me off
00:57:28this
00:57:28thing ow ow ow ow couldn't you see i was stuck to that thing are you all right oh aggie
00:57:39it was
00:57:40beautiful she was like a flower she just kept blossoming and blossoming
00:57:45oh who are you talking about mary beth gosh aggie thanks for inviting me to this party
00:57:51i think i'm in love mary beth benson yeah she's crazy about me just like just like dr duran
00:58:01i uh think we better have a talk calvin but first let's get you into the sun and thaw you
00:58:05out huh
00:58:06at least the substance metabolizes in several hours leaving you with just a pounding headache
00:58:11you should never have used it aggie come on did you not have fun this is not the best night
00:58:16of
00:58:16your life oh yeah but this is a nightmare if dr duran finds out i'm gonna be in big trouble
00:58:22i could lose my job but the party was a hit was a success now the burger station would be
00:58:27so popular
00:58:28you won't need that job with dr duran you'll come work for us aggie you pulled some crazy stunts
00:58:32before but this isn't like spiking the punch in high school formula nine is dangerous stuff
00:58:37it was a gamble we had a tent we needed to make a good impression you know what wrangler bob
00:58:41says
00:58:41in business you need an edge well now we got our edge oh i don't know aggie
00:58:49oh you don't worry about it
00:59:01but you can't ever use it again calvin i need the formula i mean look at all these people the
00:59:06business will never survive without it no aggie calvin there's a lot riding on this i promise
00:59:11as soon as we're up and running i'll stop using it how bad can it be i don't know it's
00:59:15never been
00:59:15properly tested you believe this crowd we have to open early yeah
00:59:26look it's gonna be a very busy day i suggest we keep the talk to a minimum calvin will you
00:59:31open up
00:59:32please sure sam
00:59:34oh
00:59:35oh
00:59:35oh
00:59:38oh
00:59:39oh
00:59:41oh
00:59:52oh
00:59:56oh
00:59:57oh
00:59:57oh
01:00:03oh
01:00:04oh
01:00:04oh
01:00:06oh
01:00:07oh
01:00:07oh
01:00:25what day man sam how'd we do
01:00:29$5,094.
01:00:31Wow.
01:00:32I'm going to drop the cash at the night deposit.
01:00:36Good night.
01:00:37Good night.
01:00:39What's wrong with her?
01:00:41Me? What else?
01:00:43We had a little misunderstanding last night.
01:00:46I don't worry about Sam. She's probably just tired. It's a long day.
01:00:49If this keeps up, we're going to have to hire more help.
01:00:52Look, Drew, I wouldn't count a business staying so good.
01:00:55Are you kidding? Did you see those people any day?
01:00:57They were a hit.
01:00:58Yeah, but we had a little help.
01:01:01I added a dose of Formula 9 to our secret sauce.
01:01:05Formula 9?
01:01:06Yeah. You know the stuff that made Dr. Duran go so wild?
01:01:11And you used it today?
01:01:13Well, sure.
01:01:14I mean, what would happen if the crowd didn't get a reaction?
01:01:16We'd be sunk.
01:01:17I don't care.
01:01:19You can't drug the public. That's not the way to run a business, Augie.
01:01:23Since when did you get a conscience?
01:01:25I don't know, but I know that's not right.
01:01:27Well, what are you going to do? Run and tell Sam?
01:01:30No, I'm not going to run and tell Sam.
01:01:32I'm not going to have to, Augie.
01:01:34Because we are not going to use it again.
01:01:43More blush, honey.
01:01:44Last time, I looked like I was ready for a toe tag.
01:01:47You wanted to see me?
01:01:49E.G.
01:01:51These kids are killing me.
01:01:53Business at 194 is down 86%.
01:01:56Now, I try talking nice to that girl, but nobody, but nobody messes with Wrangler Bob's bottom line.
01:02:03This means war.
01:02:05Get out, all of you. Go on, get out.
01:02:07Not you, dummy.
01:02:09This means we're going to have to call in reinforcements.
01:02:20Hello, Budden.
01:02:21Who's this?
01:02:23This is Daddy Bugs.
01:02:25Oh, Daddy Bugs.
01:02:26What do you want?
01:02:28Are you in the bubble bath?
01:02:30Yeah.
01:02:32Let me listen.
01:02:35How's that sound?
01:02:37Black heaven, Budden.
01:02:38I got a little job for you.
01:02:40No job's too big or too small for you, Wrangler Bob.
01:02:48Hmm.
01:02:56Mystery Lady!
01:03:21Hi there, boys.
01:03:22Who's in charge here?
01:03:24Hi, I am.
01:03:26Well, I'm Dixie Love, and I'm looking for employment.
01:03:31You mean here?
01:03:33She has some work to do?
01:03:34Oh, yeah.
01:03:37You want to work here?
01:03:38Only if I get to wear one of these.
01:03:46Why does she want to work here, Augie?
01:03:47She's a little polished for this place, don't you think?
01:03:50Well, you have to admit, you look great behind a counter.
01:03:52Besides, appearance is important.
01:03:54You know, why bother even asking me?
01:03:56You've obviously made up your mind already.
01:03:58We could all go home.
01:03:59You don't need us here.
01:04:00You could run this place all by yourself.
01:04:03Don't get on me just because she's beautiful, okay?
01:04:06Fine, Augie.
01:04:06Just hire her, all right?
01:04:08Get her in a uniform.
01:04:09Just leave me alone.
01:04:17She loves you.
01:04:18Let's get you in a uniform.
01:04:26This place sure got popular in a hurry.
01:04:29I reckon it did.
01:04:31You know, bud, you seem to know an awful lot about the restaurant business.
01:04:36I bet you're the brains behind this whole operation.
01:04:40Why don't you teach me the secret of your success?
01:04:43It's all in the rest.
01:04:45You might say I developed my own style.
01:04:48No, bud.
01:04:50I mean, how did the burger station hit it so big, so fast?
01:04:55Oh, Dad, we got our own special sauce.
01:04:58Well, everybody's got their own special sauce.
01:05:01Not like this.
01:05:03This makes you horny as a pole.
01:05:06Really?
01:05:08In fact, it was so strong that Drew made Augie stop using it.
01:05:17Why are you making me do all the work anyway?
01:05:31Hey, Bill.
01:05:37It's a long day.
01:05:44How's it going?
01:05:45It's okay.
01:05:47You know, it still seems funny that Pop's not here.
01:05:51Yeah, I know.
01:05:54When we were little, we catch lightning bugs, put them in a jar, run through the dark.
01:06:00And Pop told us they all had little bulbs on the end, and we went to the store to buy
01:06:04lightning bug bulbs.
01:06:05The man at the store told you there was no such thing, but you wouldn't believe him.
01:06:08You weren't going to live without him.
01:06:11Oh.
01:06:12This is great.
01:06:14I'm going to be pretty hard-headed sometimes.
01:06:20Sam, if you're still upset about the party, don't be.
01:06:23Augie said that to me.
01:06:24I mean, Drew, he makes me crazy.
01:06:26He walks around like he owns the place, and he tells everybody what to do.
01:06:31I don't know why you'd hang around that guy.
01:06:33I don't.
01:06:34I don't think you understand him.
01:06:36I mean, he's a good guy.
01:06:37He's a good friend of mine.
01:06:39Besides, we all went a little crazy that night.
01:06:41Well, you guys felt right at home.
01:06:43I mean, I made a complete fool out of myself.
01:06:47I mean, you can't really blame Augie for that.
01:06:50Look, I admit, he gets carried away.
01:06:53But he means well.
01:06:56He really wants this thing to work.
01:06:58He's over at the station right now.
01:07:01Is he really?
01:07:02Oh, it's funny.
01:07:02He rules.
01:07:03Oh, I'm sorry.
01:07:13Hello.
01:07:16I struggle.
01:07:31Whoa.
01:07:31Oh, I had been living in my houseCHP.
01:07:32Let's go.
01:08:07Let's go.
01:08:32What are you doing here?
01:08:34I feel so afraid.
01:08:36Um, are you all right?
01:08:42What is it?
01:08:44Augie?
01:08:45Sam?
01:08:46Oh, jeez.
01:08:47Can you feel it?
01:08:48What's up, jeez?
01:08:54Let me just get you in here.
01:08:57You just stay in here and be quiet, okay?
01:09:01Sam?
01:09:03What are you doing here?
01:09:04I was looking for you, actually.
01:09:07Um, Augie, I know I've been acting sort of stupid lately.
01:09:10Well, about the other night, I just wanted to apologize.
01:09:15I think maybe I've been wrong about you.
01:09:18Well, that's fine.
01:09:20Uh, look, I was just leaving.
01:09:22Can I walk you out?
01:09:23Yeah.
01:09:23So, be it.
01:09:25What was that?
01:09:26Uh, nothing.
01:09:28I'll go home.
01:09:29Uh, Sam.
01:09:30I'm hard.
01:09:31You remember Dixie, huh?
01:09:33Uh, she was just coming.
01:09:35I mean, we were just going.
01:09:36Working late, huh, Augie?
01:09:38Sam, wait.
01:09:41Destiny, okay.
01:09:42I knew you would like this.
01:09:44Oh, Sam, Sam.
01:09:48Sam?
01:09:50Sam, don't understand.
01:09:53Trust me, it's not what it seems.
01:09:54It's all a big mistake.
01:09:56You're a mistake, Augie.
01:10:02Operator, I'd like to leave Pure Food and Drug Administration in Washington, D.C.,
01:10:07our nation's capital.
01:10:11Industrial espionage is what made America great.
01:10:14And who are we to argue with tradition?
01:10:18You're $3 short.
01:10:21D.G., you got change for a five?
01:10:32Morning, Sam.
01:10:33I'm just going to clean up out front before we open.
01:10:35Thanks, Cal.
01:10:43Uh, Sam, you better get back out here.
01:10:45I don't think these guys are customers.
01:10:47Um, can I help you?
01:10:50Are you Samantha Davis?
01:10:51Yes.
01:10:52Special Agent Dickworth, FDA.
01:10:54These are Agents Jones and Mendez.
01:10:56Seal everything.
01:10:57What's going on?
01:10:58We have evidence implicating you and your associates in a conspiracy to lace food sold to the public with drugs.
01:11:05Drugs?
01:11:06Oh, there's got to be mistakes.
01:11:07I'm sure the judge will be happy to hear all about it.
01:11:09Pending a hearing before a federal bench, this establishment is padlocked by court order.
01:11:14Preliminary hearing set for in the morning.
01:11:15Now, everyone out of here.
01:11:16This place is closed.
01:11:32What's going on?
01:11:34What do you know about drugs in our sauce?
01:11:38Drugs?
01:11:39I can...
01:11:39I know you can explain, but, you know, I don't want to hear it.
01:11:42You can't do anything, honestly, can you?
01:11:45You just don't know how.
01:11:47You're never going to grow up.
01:11:48You're never...
01:11:48Sam, just wait a second.
01:11:49Shut up, Drew.
01:11:50I can't believe you let this happen.
01:11:53I knew I should have never gotten mixed up with you.
01:11:56You're bad news, Augie Hamilton.
01:11:59How could you do this to me?
01:12:05Dr. Durant is going to have my test hoops for this.
01:12:08Guess we could always make it a service station again, huh?
01:12:12That's a little more complicated than that, guys.
01:12:14What do you mean?
01:12:16Remember when we got the loan from the bank?
01:12:18Well, they weren't going to give us some money unless we signed over the service station property as collateral.
01:12:22I didn't know Sam did that.
01:12:24Neither does she.
01:12:25I signed her name on the documents.
01:12:26You forged Samantha's name?
01:12:28I didn't think they'd call in the loan.
01:12:30I mean, we pulled this off before.
01:12:32This isn't like conning some freshmen out of his allowance, Augie.
01:12:36We're your friends.
01:12:38How did you do that to us, man?
01:12:40You did it for us.
01:12:41No, you did it for you.
01:12:43Just like you do everything else.
01:12:47You know, I'm tired of always making excuses for you.
01:12:52I am over it, man.
01:12:56You give me a ride home.
01:13:01Yeah.
01:13:19I keep walking down your street on the chance that we might meet so you can talk to me.
01:13:26Oh, and when I see you in a crowd in my mind, I cry out loud for you to talk
01:13:34to me.
01:13:36Oh, but I can see you don't want to say you are.
01:13:42No, you don't want to talk to me.
01:13:45Oh, and when I get through to you, I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
01:14:02Stop talking in my sleep.
01:14:04It's the only way I keep myself.
01:14:07Going all my entities.
01:14:10And I must hide.
01:14:11So no one sees frustration in my eyes.
01:14:14My tricks are going to try.
01:14:17Oh, and when you go on.
01:14:20No, you don't want to talk to me.
01:14:25And I can see you don't want to
01:14:29No, you don't want to talk to me
01:14:32Talk to me, so
01:14:34I could show you all the world
01:14:41I could cover all the hurts
01:14:46Won't you give me half a chance
01:14:50I know you're gonna like it
01:15:26Look Sam, if we go in there's another problem we didn't talk about
01:15:30When Nagy first got the loan
01:15:32Look, what is Wrangler Bob doing here?
01:15:39I didn't know Dixie knew Wrangler Bob
01:15:42Looks like we've been set up
01:15:53Now, everybody's kidding?
01:15:55Wrangler Bob will now make a statement
01:15:59I'm sure all you good folks at home
01:16:02Are wondering why your old buddy Wrangler Bob
01:16:04Is here today
01:16:05Well, fast food is near and dear to my heart
01:16:08And I hate to see this noble institution
01:16:11Get a black eye by a few misguided individuals
01:16:15And I just hope that these mild contents
01:16:18Receive the full measure of justice
01:16:20That this judge can dish out
01:16:23Well, that's enough for now
01:16:24I'll see y'all after court
01:16:31I have some very influential friends
01:16:34And I just might be able to get you out of this trouble
01:16:36You're in if I have a mind
01:16:38I'm listening
01:16:40Samantha, no
01:16:40Drew, look
01:16:41I would just like to forget this ever happened
01:16:45So, what are you offering?
01:16:47Your property
01:16:48Minus the expenses I incurred
01:16:50Trying to close these people down
01:16:51That's ridiculous
01:16:53You can sell it to me
01:16:54Or I'll buy it from the bank
01:16:55And they foreclose the mortgage on your property
01:16:57Mortgage?
01:16:59What mortgage?
01:17:00That's what I was trying to tell you
01:17:01Before we went in
01:17:03I can see you two have a lot to talk about
01:17:06See you on the inside
01:17:14You're too old to be playing with toys
01:17:17I'm confiscating your weapons
01:17:18Now, grow up
01:17:21Case dismissed
01:17:26All right, Caleb
01:17:27Let's go
01:17:31Next case
01:17:35For people versus
01:17:38Pop's Burger Station
01:17:42Is the prosecution ready?
01:17:44Yes, Your Honor
01:17:45The prosecution plans to present evidence
01:17:48That the owners of Pop's Burger Station
01:17:51Willfully and with premeditated malice
01:17:54Laced food sold to the public
01:17:56With dangerous mood-altering stimulants
01:17:59If it please the court
01:18:00I'd like to present this as Exhibit A
01:18:02The secret sauce from Pop's Burger Station
01:18:08All right, honey
01:18:09Lay it there
01:18:10Take a chair
01:18:12Now then
01:18:13Do you people have legal representation?
01:18:18If not
01:18:19The court
01:18:19Your Honor
01:18:20Gus is Hamilton
01:18:21I'll be representing the defense
01:18:24Great
01:18:25We're gonna go to prison
01:18:27You're gonna make me somebody's wife
01:18:30Your Honor
01:18:30I am here today
01:18:31Because of my commitment
01:18:32To the individual businessman
01:18:33You see, I could not sit idly by
01:18:35As big business crushes
01:18:36Yet another set of young independents
01:18:38Mr. Hamilton
01:18:39Don't give me that malarkey
01:18:41You know that you are supposed to be here anyway
01:18:44You're a subpoenaed witness
01:18:47Yes, sir
01:18:48That too
01:18:50Are you sure you kids haven't got any objection to this?
01:18:53Your Honor
01:18:53I would
01:18:53Your Honor
01:18:54Before I call my first witness
01:18:56I'd like to address the court if I may
01:18:57I think it could save us some time
01:18:59Very well, Mr. Hamilton
01:19:00The court is always willing
01:19:01To save the taxpayers money
01:19:04Proceed
01:19:05Thank you
01:19:07I put the formula
01:19:08In the burger station's special sauce
01:19:12I acted totally alone
01:19:15Without any previous knowledge
01:19:16From the defendants
01:19:18If anyone is to be punished here today
01:19:20It is I
01:19:23I see
01:19:24All right
01:19:26But, Your Honor
01:19:27I'm also guilty of something else
01:19:30I'm guilty of letting down my best friends
01:19:34Probably the only real friends I've ever had
01:19:38You see, sometimes when a person is so into himself
01:19:41He forgets what's important
01:19:44I guess I have some growing up to do
01:19:47Well, that was a real pretty speech, Judd
01:19:49But when are we going to get on with this barbecue?
01:19:51I want to see these people prosecuted
01:19:53To the fullest extent of the law
01:19:56Order in this court
01:19:57Who are you?
01:19:59Well, I'm Wrangler Bob Bundy
01:20:01Well, sit down and shut up
01:20:05Now, if we may
01:20:06Proceed with the business of this court
01:20:08Mr. Hamilton
01:20:11I'd like to cause my first witness
01:20:12Dr. Rachel Duran
01:20:15She's a research chemist at Hopkins College
01:20:17And the creator of the alleged drug used
01:20:18In the burger station sauce
01:20:23Put it there, sweetheart
01:20:27All right, all right
01:20:28Proceed, let's go
01:20:30Dr. Duran, could you please tell us
01:20:32If the formula used in the burger station food
01:20:33Does contain mood-altering stimulants?
01:20:36Yes, that's correct
01:20:37I'm sure glad he ain't my lawyer
01:20:38Don't know his habeas
01:20:40Was that dumb corpse?
01:20:41It lowers your inhibitions
01:20:42And makes you want to live out your fantasies
01:20:45However, under the influence of this chemical agent
01:20:47You wouldn't do anything you didn't want to do
01:20:50And would the FDA classify this as a drug?
01:20:53Absolutely not
01:20:54All the ingredients in the formula are natural
01:20:57Now, Dr. Duran, could you please tell the court
01:20:59If you've ever heard of the chemical
01:21:03Diapriamenz...
01:21:05Diapriamenzidine methylene
01:21:05Yes, it's an artificial ingredient
01:21:07That's used to enhance the taste of cheap, fast food
01:21:10Well, that's funny
01:21:12Because that's the main ingredient
01:21:13In Wrangler Bob's secret sauce
01:21:15The one he advertises as 100% natural
01:21:18Now, wait just a cotton-picking minute
01:21:20I'm not on trial, hear?
01:21:21Your Honor, I object
01:21:23Order in this court
01:21:25Check on, shut up
01:21:26I'm talking to you, Bundy
01:21:30And as for you, young man
01:21:33Endangering others
01:21:34For personal gain is an immature and irresponsible act
01:21:38I hope you realize that
01:21:40Yes, sir, I do
01:21:42Well, fortunately, this time
01:21:44No one was hurt
01:21:45And thanks to Dr. Duran's
01:21:47Thank you, honey
01:21:48Expert testimony
01:21:50No law was broken
01:21:52Hold on, dear
01:21:54Their sauce is better than mine
01:21:56Well, Mr. Bundy
01:21:57That is called free enterprise
01:22:00I never heard of it
01:22:02Mr. Hamilton
01:22:04I trust
01:22:05That I will never see you in this court again
01:22:11Case dismissed
01:22:19Get out of my way
01:22:20Get out of my way
01:22:21Now, hold on, sweetheart
01:22:23I'll give you a million dollars for that formula
01:22:25I want it in my sauce
01:22:27I'm sorry, Formula 9 was an accident
01:22:29A fluke
01:22:29I couldn't do it again without extensive testing
01:22:31It's not even patented
01:22:32It's not?
01:22:34E.G., get me that sauce
01:22:38Order!
01:22:39Order!
01:22:40Order in the court!
01:22:41A million dollars to anybody who can get me that sauce
01:22:44Order!
01:22:45Order in the court!
01:22:47Get out of the court!
01:22:49O.G.
01:22:50O.G.
01:22:50O.G.
01:22:52O.G.
01:22:52O.G.
01:22:53O.G.
01:22:54O.G.
01:22:54O.G.
01:22:54O.G.
01:22:54O.G.
01:22:56O.G.
01:22:56O.G.
01:22:57O.G.
01:22:58O.G.
01:23:00O.G.
01:23:10O.G.
01:24:18So, what are you going to do now?
01:24:21I don't know.
01:24:22I guess I'll look for a job or something.
01:24:27Well, good luck.
01:24:28I mean, I'll probably see you around, right?
01:24:31Yeah.
01:24:32Maybe I'll see you around sometime.
01:24:40Augie, I know this fast food restaurant that needs a good manager.
01:24:45Oh, yeah?
01:24:47The pay is low, but the hours are terrible.
01:24:51I'll take it.
01:25:12Let's go have a party.
01:25:15Let's go.
01:25:16Let's go.
01:25:20Let's go.
01:25:23Let's go.
01:25:27Let's go.
01:25:42Oh, buddy, Wrangler Bob and I take eating seriously.
01:25:45Ain't that right, Winchester?
01:25:46That's right, Wrangler Bob.
01:25:48And at Wrangler Bob's, my guts are growling.
01:25:51I ain't thinking about tofu and sprouts, meats on my mind.
01:25:56Ain't that right, Winchester?
01:25:57That's right, Wrangler Bob.
01:25:59And at Wrangler Bob's, we serve the best Texas-style burgers that ever hit your gut.
01:26:05Ain't that right, Winchester?
01:26:06Well, you can say that again, Wrangler Bob.
01:26:08Yes, sir.
01:26:09At Wrangler Bob's, we put a little bit of Texas in every burger.
01:26:13Because an empty gut is like an unloaded gun.
01:26:17A dangerous proposition.
01:26:19Am I right, Winchester?
01:26:21Am I right, Winchester?
01:26:25He knows.
01:26:27You remember when you were a youngin'?
01:26:29The best place in the world to be was Mama's Kitchen.
01:26:32All those wonderful smells coming from heaven.
01:26:35Cakes and cookies and pies.
01:26:37Will it, Wrangler Bob's?
01:26:39We always make our desserts fresh and delicious
01:26:42because Mom's in each and every one of our kitchens cooking them up fresh just for you.
01:26:48Mama, how do you get around like that?
01:26:51I don't know.
01:26:54Friday?
01:26:57Cut, cut.
01:27:00Shall we lose Mama
01:27:03and set up the chuck wagon set?
01:27:06Bingo.
01:27:08Roy, would you run a magnet over her pacemaker?
01:27:28I didn't heed those warning signs.
01:27:31Pay little or no attention.
01:27:36Wouldn't take any wards at advice.
01:27:39Build walls for my protection.
01:27:43It took some time to understand
01:27:45The power of love's medication.
01:27:50The days were long.
01:27:52Nights were on.
01:27:54Searching for some conservation.
01:27:57But right in the middle of acting so cool
01:28:01You came along and rescued the soul
01:28:05I felt the jack-me-go-in-law
01:28:08I felt the jack-me-go-in-law
01:28:10I felt the jack-me-go-in-law
01:28:10I felt the jack-me-go-in-law
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