- 22 minutes ago
Taskmaster S21e10 The Final Domestic Bumfluff H 264
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:02Don't look away.
00:09No!
00:12Don't put that on, Kelly!
00:15Whoa! I might just do this all day.
00:20This is weird!
00:22No!
00:34Thank you!
00:37Yes!
00:39My name's Greg Davis and this is the Taskmaster Grand Final!
00:48My goodness, have we all been on a journey together.
00:52Five Phileas Foggs high on adrenaline.
00:55A group of Don Quixote's riding round on the donkey of thrills.
00:59A quintet of David Attenborough's off their nuts on monkey serotonin.
01:05And I know as well as you that finishing this series
01:08on that lust analogy would do them a disservice.
01:11So, let's let them play out the last act themselves.
01:15For the final time, please welcome...
01:18Jamie Gladwell!
01:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:21Armando Iannucci!
01:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:24Jonah Payne!
01:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:27Joe Domet!
01:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:29And Camille Nanjiani!
01:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:52Here we are in the final.
01:54Here we are!
01:55What's the last prize prize category of this series, Alex?
01:58Well, it has excellence written all over it, Greg, as they've brought in the object
02:02that is most likely to make you say, oh, yeah, that is quality when you see it.
02:08LAUGHTER
02:08It's the sort of phrase you might have heard coming from a gent's toilet,
02:12and also here, because it's the grand final.
02:16The episode winner will take home all five top-quality items,
02:18whereas the series winner, conversely, will take home that trophy.
02:21Greg.
02:22All right, then.
02:23Joel?
02:24We'll see if, oh, there, that is quality, comes out.
02:27Or not.
02:28That says you're more than your own voice.
02:30This character?
02:31Yeah!
02:31This is a new character, I've just made him up.
02:33Oh, Dave.
02:35Oh, let's have a look.
02:36Oh!
02:37So, I went through a phase, I was, like, 18, where I thought,
02:42I'm going to be a rapper.
02:43So, I wrote and recorded some rap songs.
02:48Oh, wow.
02:49And this is a genuine song I wrote called Limelight.
02:53LAUGHTER
02:57Here's Joel's song.
02:59That's what you get for wanting limelight.
03:00The lime is bitter, but the light is bright.
03:06Safe.
03:07LAUGHTER
03:15Oh, my God.
03:18That is the first time, this series, that my testicles have fully gone inside my body.
03:22LAUGHTER
03:24It's a start.
03:25OK.
03:27You haven't said whether it's quality or not?
03:29Oh, yeah.
03:30Yeah, I think it's all right.
03:31OK.
03:33OK, Amy.
03:35Amy, hello.
03:36Hello.
03:37I have brought in some quality Hornsea pottery.
03:41Ooh.
03:43I don't think Dave's going to like this.
03:45LAUGHTER
03:46This is what she brought in.
03:48Oh.
03:50LAUGHTER
03:51Don't laugh at that, Camille.
03:54This is actually very quality stuff.
03:57So, this is made in Hornsea, where I went to school,
04:00and Hornsea pottery made the town all famous,
04:04and now this, this stuff's...
04:06Can you please stop laughing?
04:09LAUGHTER
04:10It's quality ceramics.
04:12Famously durable.
04:13Let's ask Dave.
04:15Oh, no, I don't like Dave.
04:18LAUGHTER
04:19I think it's toilet.
04:23LAUGHTER
04:28I have brought in my Tom Jones Does Country and Western record.
04:34LAUGHTER
04:35Have a look and react.
04:37Wow.
04:38Wow!
04:40You've got Tom Jones.
04:42I've never met a man until actually sitting opposite you, Greg,
04:45that emanates such raw sexuality as Tom Jones.
04:51LAUGHTER
04:52Ooh, are you talking?
04:55He is raw.
04:56He is male.
04:57He is sexual.
04:58It seeps out of him.
05:00Oh, my God.
05:00Is that right?
05:01I imagine it literally does, actually.
05:04LAUGHTER
05:04That's right.
05:04It's not just that, right?
05:06He is on a horse.
05:07His shirt is open.
05:08You can see his chest hair, and he's wearing a stetson.
05:12And I'm sorry, right, but I look at that and I go,
05:15oh, yeah, that is quality.
05:18LAUGHTER
05:19Well, I hadn't expected it to be quite so flagrantly sexual
05:23from Joanna, but why not?
05:25Why not, indeed.
05:26Oh, I wonder what Dave will think of that, though.
05:27Oh.
05:28Eh, fair play, he's a Welsh stallion.
05:31LAUGHTER
05:34Armando.
05:35Well, my eldest got my wife this for Christmas.
05:38When we turned it on, it transformed our lives.
05:42Just a very simple thing.
05:44Take a look at this.
05:46Looks like a normal sellotape dispenser.
05:48Watch this.
05:50BUZZER
05:51BUZZER
05:52BUZZER
05:53LAUGHTER
05:54Oh, that is a...
05:56LAUGHTER
05:57Whoa!
05:58That got me going the way that Tom Jones gets you going.
06:01LAUGHTER
06:02That...
06:03That is life-changing.
06:05Yeah.
06:06And you can specify the length and...
06:09And you've picked your audience very nicely.
06:12LAUGHTER
06:12I should be buying one of those tonight.
06:15LAUGHTER
06:15Ah, Camille.
06:17Welcome.
06:18Hi.
06:19What have you brought?
06:20Greg?
06:21Yeah.
06:22Oh, my God.
06:24Finally.
06:25Oh, my God.
06:27LAUGHTER
06:32Is it a T-shirt with a koala bag?
06:35It is a quality.
06:38LAUGHTER
06:51It is undeniably...
06:53A quality.
06:54He's good.
06:55He's fucking good.
06:57LAUGHTER
06:58OK.
06:58Are we ready to score?
07:00Hey, mate.
07:01I'm sorry.
07:01I'm giving you one point for your pottery.
07:03LAUGHTER
07:04I'm giving quality two points so he can...
07:08I don't give a shit.
07:10LAUGHTER
07:10Three points to come out.
07:11You don't bring a pun T-shirt onto this show.
07:15Joel, I have to put you in the middle,
07:17cos I don't know whether it is quality
07:19or whether I just want to help you.
07:22LAUGHTER
07:22Three points.
07:24Tom Jones.
07:25I've never seen a woman so horny in my life.
07:30LAUGHTER
07:30Four points.
07:31But, you know, he's playing to his audience.
07:34Wow.
07:34I want that tape dispenser.
07:35Five points to our man.
07:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:41All right, all right.
07:42What's first to kick off this glossy spectacle?
07:46It's a great question,
07:47and it's a blast from the past, Greg,
07:49because the egg cup is back.
07:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:52Once more.
07:5312 people love it.
07:55Once more, it needs filling.
07:57But with what?
07:59Ooh.
07:59MUSIC
08:11Hello.
08:12Hi, Amy.
08:13Hi.
08:14Hello.
08:15Ah.
08:16Hello, Joanna.
08:17Ooh.
08:18Hello.
08:19Armando.
08:20Are there many Armandos?
08:22There are a few.
08:24Only I know where they are.
08:26LAUGHTER
08:27Lint roller.
08:29Ooh.
08:29That's a sticky thing.
08:31May I?
08:32Yes.
08:32Should I? OK.
08:35Ahem.
08:36Fill this egg cup...
08:38..with lint.
08:40You have ten minutes and the egg cup must stay in the lab.
08:43Also, you must stop this clock at exactly ten seconds...
08:49..at some point during the second half of your attempt.
08:53Otherwise, you are disqualified.
08:54Most lint wins.
08:56Your time starts now.
08:58Right, so I need to gather lint, first of all.
09:01Start the clock and halfway through it...
09:03..or over halfway through it, stop it for ten seconds,
09:07and then start it again.
09:10Yeah?
09:10Well, I don't think so, but...
09:11No.
09:12That stops the clock.
09:14That gets the lint.
09:15That collects the lint.
09:18OK, let's collect some lint.
09:20Wow.
09:24Joel contained expectations.
09:26He understood the task.
09:27Yeah.
09:28Explained it.
09:28He got on with it.
09:29Meanwhile, Armando's brain folded in on itself.
09:35One of the little cultural differences between England and Wales,
09:38isn't it?
09:39We call it a lint roller and you call it a sticky thing, is it?
09:43Yeah.
09:43Yeah.
09:44Yeah.
09:45Right, well, first to try and locate a load of lint are Amy and Kamali.
09:49Am I linty?
09:51I'm not linty.
09:53Oh!
09:58Oh!
10:01There's no lint anywhere!
10:03What is the definition of lint?
10:06Would you like me to look it up?
10:08Yeah, unless you know it off the top of your head.
10:12Oh, my God.
10:13I'm lint-less.
10:17Could you type a little faster?
10:20I've got the definition of lint for you.
10:23It's a noun.
10:23Number one.
10:26Short, fine fibres which separate from the surface of cloth or yarn.
10:31Speak first.
10:32Right, sorry.
10:33Nothing in the world has lint.
10:36Lint's a myth.
10:37Number two.
10:38A fabric originally of linen with a raised nap on one side used for dressing wounds.
10:43Is there another definition of lint that I don't know about?
10:46No.
10:46So it is just lint?
10:47Fuzz, fluff, fibres, hair, dust, fur.
10:49Hair?
10:50Well, anything that bundles up.
10:53I mean, hair is hair.
10:56I don't think you're going to be happy about this.
11:05So what's the difference between lint and fur?
11:07This is not fur because it's not a real animal.
11:11Is that lint or is that hair?
11:12Lint?
11:15If it's not a real animal, it's lint.
11:17You could have clothes with this.
11:18You think they made a cat out of lint?
11:21You think they make jackets out of lint?
11:23No, they don't.
11:23When stuff comes off a jacket, it's lint.
11:26Stuff comes off a sweater, it's lint.
11:27Stuff comes off a stuffed cat, it's lint.
11:32Okay.
11:33You've got four minutes.
11:34I need a little victory here.
11:46Oh!
11:47Oh!
11:49Oh!
11:50Oh!
11:52So I'm disqualified?
11:53I don't know.
11:54Is there a reset?
11:55There normally is, isn't there?
12:00Oh!
12:02Oh!
12:03Oh!
12:08Oh!
12:09Oh!
12:10What?
12:11Do you know?
12:12There's never lint when you want it.
12:13Do you know who's going to be good at this?
12:14People that have pets and they've got all shit on them.
12:20LAUGHTER
12:22OK, there we go.
12:24Come on, kitty.
12:27Oh!
12:27There's so much lint!
12:29I can't believe I'm just doing this now!
12:32I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of the day without a sock.
12:37That is one egg cup full of lint.
12:42Good start.
12:43So long.
12:45Was it a good start?
12:47Well, they got something in the egg cup.
12:49Oh, yeah.
12:49Something went in all right.
12:51I found it fascinating that Alex told you that hair wasn't lint
12:54and then you just carried on pulling your hair out.
12:57Like a character from One Flew Over the Cuckoos there.
13:02I think if you look, the third definition of lint is hair mixed with sock.
13:07Well, a sock is certainly better.
13:09The definition I've got is short, fine fibres that separate from the surface of cloth.
13:13It doesn't mention off the surface of a head or a cat.
13:17Well, it's...
13:18It's not a real cat?
13:19It's not a real cat?
13:19Yeah, yeah.
13:20It's not a real cat, but according to Alex, that does fit the definition.
13:25Yeah, there is often hair and fur within lint.
13:27OK.
13:27Yours is...
13:31You're fucked, Greg.
13:35I don't know if I'm fucked.
13:39I'm certainly surprised by your wolf noise.
13:44The sock was much better, I thought. That's far more linting.
13:47Yeah, thank you.
13:48We were chatting during that.
13:49Alex and I think the sock looked a bit grubby.
13:51FYI.
13:51OK.
13:53LAUGHTER
13:54I'll allow them as lint.
13:56OK.
13:56Who's next?
13:57Well, will his attempt make you vomit?
13:59Let's find out.
14:00It's Joel Patrick Domit.
14:01Oh!
14:05Where was...
14:06Lint is it, like, in?
14:10Got an idea.
14:13Henry.
14:14I'm sorry.
14:18Lint.
14:22Have you ever put your fingers into Henry's asshole?
14:25Right into Henry's butthole, eh?
14:29Can I get another egg cut?
14:30Sure.
14:31Thanks, bud.
14:34Ooh, that was close.
14:35Stop it.
14:36Oh, I've got real good, like...
14:39That's the good stuff right there.
14:41That's from, like, John Robbins' belly button.
14:44That is Sophie Duker's hair.
14:46How long have I got left?
14:47You've got one minute and one second.
14:49Stop it!
14:51Oh!
14:52Congratulations.
14:53It's now just lint.
14:54Which is a show that I'm going to be hosting on Channel 5 after.
14:57Five seconds left.
14:59Five seconds left.
14:59That is lint.
15:03Yep.
15:04I'm happy with that, though.
15:05Yeah, that's a lot of lint.
15:06It was interesting to go through the sort of dregs of the Taskmaster health.
15:10Yeah, it's never been emptied, that, so...
15:11Thank you, Joel.
15:12Don't lint.
15:14Why would you sniff it?
15:15I don't know.
15:19Oh, God.
15:20You want a lint?
15:21That's lint.
15:24That was a masterstroke.
15:28Incredible.
15:28And you're the only person to have two egg cups.
15:30This could be your finest hour.
15:32So far.
15:33Tell me it's Dave.
15:37I'll tell you what I'll do.
15:38I'll bring Dave back just to read out my favourite quote from you during that.
15:41Please do.
15:42Have you ever put your fingers in Henry's arsehole?
15:46LAUGHTER
15:50OK, there'll be a gap in our programme now for some adverts.
15:54It's an ugly gap, but it's not as ugly as the one between Alex's wonky tea.
15:58LAUGHTER
16:07Hello.
16:09Welcome back to our grand final, where, to reflect the occasion,
16:13they are trying to fill an egg cup with the most lint.
16:16And now I expect Alex is going to annoy me with some lint-based puns.
16:21Ooh.
16:21I doubt it.
16:24Although...
16:24You know, last year I did actually give up coffee for lint.
16:28It tasted horrible.
16:29LAUGHTER
16:30Before the break, Joel went to some pretty extreme lint
16:32to fill up his egg cup.
16:33And now, final lint.
16:35Are they feeling lucky, punks?
16:36That's a lint-east would quote.
16:38It's Joanna!
16:38LAUGHTER
16:39And Amanda.
16:41I actually don't think...
16:42I've got that much on me.
16:45Right, OK.
16:46Is it inappropriate to ask for your barely buttons?
16:50LAUGHTER
16:52Is there any?
16:53No, no, no.
16:54I'm sorry.
16:55I mean, sorry.
16:56I couldn't see your barely button.
16:59LAUGHTER
16:59Right, there's not that much lint in there.
17:03Lint, that's...
17:04What's lint?
17:04It's not a mint.
17:05It's fluff, isn't it?
17:07It's not mint.
17:08It's not mint.
17:09It's not mint.
17:09How do you get lint?
17:11How do you get lint?
17:12Where is lint?
17:13Is there any lint anywhere?
17:14PHONE RINGS
17:15It's not a drink.
17:17That's lint.
17:18I've suddenly now just lost the ability to work out language.
17:23LAUGHTER
17:24I mean, it's domestic bum fluff, basically.
17:27That's what it is.
17:27OK.
17:28I'll be back in a minute.
17:29All right, then.
17:30Where the heck do you get lint?
17:31Right, I'm coming in here.
17:33Is there any lint?
17:34I saw ages ago, right, that in here...
17:38Here we go.
17:41I got you some lint.
17:42Where's that from?
17:44Somewhere in here, I think.
17:46There we are.
17:47That's what I was after.
17:49Where did you find that lint?
17:51I found that in the living room.
17:52From a task that I did the other day.
17:57And there was a daff, and there was that lint.
18:00And at the time I saw it, and I didn't forget it.
18:03I kept it in my mind.
18:05And I'm chuffed.
18:07I can see that.
18:10How much time?
18:11Four minutes, 15 seconds.
18:12Right, go.
18:14Four, five, six, seven...
18:15Oh, bum!
18:15Oh, my God, that means I've got to count ten from, like, on that.
18:19I'm not good at maths.
18:20It has to be exactly ten, sir.
18:22Yeah, yes, it very much does.
18:26Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
18:35Oh, my God, my head completely went.
18:38Oh, my God!
18:52Oh, my God!
18:54Oh, my God!
18:54I flippin' did it!
18:56I can't believe it!
18:58I think I've peaked.
19:00Yeah, yeah.
19:01Very good.
19:02Very good.
19:06Correct me if I'm wrong, but the only two contestants to remember
19:08that we'd planted lint in the building in a previous task.
19:12Yes.
19:12So, well done for remembering that.
19:14A shame you forgot language and numbers.
19:18LAUGHTER
19:19But, you know, when I pressed the buzzer, right,
19:21there was the big number there, and then the small number
19:24was going fast, and I genuinely write, I lost my mind.
19:28And I admit, on the right, right, was what I thought was a second,
19:30first of all.
19:31And that's why I was shutting it off so fast.
19:34And then it was all going so fast that I thought,
19:37I don't know what a second is anymore.
19:39Have you been putting drugs in my teeth?
19:42LAUGHTER
19:42And what happened with you, Armando, with language?
19:45For a long time, you kept saying,
19:47what's lint, it's not min.
19:49LAUGHTER
19:49There was certainly a hint.
19:53LAUGHTER
19:54There was more than a hint of lint.
19:56Do you want to see how much all five of them got in their egg cups?
19:58Big time.
19:59So, look, all their linty egg cups are here.
20:02Joel managed to fill not just one, but two egg cups.
20:05Armando's was slightly more than Joanna's in total,
20:09because he managed to use the jumper well.
20:11Kumail, you get twice as much as Amy.
20:13So, it's one point to Amy, it's two to Kumail,
20:15three to Joanna, four to Armando,
20:17but the most lint found was by Mr Joel Domit.
20:21You're the king of lint, man.
20:23On your wedding day as well.
20:25LAUGHTER
20:26It doesn't look like we're getting married, yeah.
20:30We're the ushers.
20:31We're all invited to the reception.
20:33And what's he or she doing?
20:35I'm their arsehole brother-in-law
20:36who's doing coke in the toilet.
20:38LAUGHTER
20:40What a great 90s film you all are.
20:43LAUGHTER
20:43See the scoreboard, please.
20:45Well, in this episode, we have an outright leader.
20:48He's wearing a kilt.
20:49It's Armando and nine coins!
20:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:52Wow!
20:53Oh, my God!
20:55Have you got something else to get for us, Alex?
20:57Do I?
20:58Yes, I do.
20:59But look out, Greg!
21:00Ah!
21:15Hello.
21:15Joanna.
21:17Hi.
21:17Hello there.
21:21Nope.
21:23That's always been there, isn't it?
21:25Oh!
21:26Oh!
21:26That was close.
21:30Whoa!
21:30That was close.
21:31Yep.
21:33Whoa!
21:34WHISTLE BLOWS
21:35WHISTLE BLOWS
21:35Very close shave.
21:38WHISTLE BLOWS
21:38Oh, that was close.
21:41Is it from that plane?
21:42Yeah.
21:43Yeah, that's how we deliver them now.
21:45Yep.
21:46OK.
21:48Have the most exhilarating name, Miss, with this paint balloon.
21:53You have 20 minutes.
21:55Your time starts now.
21:57Oh, I'm excited for this.
21:58This is right up my street.
22:01It's very full.
22:03Oh!
22:05Yeah, that's going to go any minute.
22:07It could be a near miss at me.
22:10Or it could be a near miss from me.
22:13Yes.
22:15To anyone who co-hosts this show.
22:19I'll take that.
22:19Yep.
22:21I want to get hit by it.
22:22Why do you want to get hit by it, Jo?
22:24Because it'll be fun, won't it?
22:25I mean, I've been hit by a bowl full of paint before.
22:27Yes, it's not a bowl.
22:29It's a balloon.
22:30OK.
22:32And it's actual paint?
22:33What do you mean?
22:34It's like real, like, wall paint.
22:38Are you going out later?
22:40I plan to.
22:41Well, you've got to miss.
22:44Wow.
22:48Good.
22:49Well, I think we just need to see it, don't we?
22:50I want to see them almost get hit by a load of paint.
22:53OK.
22:53Well, it is the co-host of Taskmaster here, Tony...
22:56Yes, I did notice that and I was irritated.
22:59He's my assistant.
22:59Carry on.
23:02Well, the first two to try and have the most exhilarating near miss
23:05are Armando and Joanna.
23:10Right.
23:11I'm on my way to a recorder conference.
23:13The only rule is, two rules, bring a recorder
23:16and don't have any paint on you.
23:18If I got hit by paint, you know, metres away from the recorder conference,
23:22that would be awful.
23:24But if I managed to fend off the paint attack,
23:26that would be quite exhilarating, wouldn't it?
23:28Yeah?
23:29There's your backstory.
23:30OK.
23:31There we go.
23:32Yeah.
23:33Yeah.
23:40Yeah.
23:43Alex!
23:44Thanks!
23:49Thanks.
24:02Thanks!
24:04Thanks!
24:04Thanks!
24:05Thanks!
24:05Thanks!
24:14LAUGHTER
24:17HAAAHH!
24:25Oh, shit!
24:30That was a near miss.
24:33That was amazing. That was a near miss.
24:36There we are, my job's done.
24:41Wow.
24:41I know he got me, just a bit.
24:43Oh, yeah.
24:44But look at this, it's just Mr Hedgehog, thank God.
24:47Right. Yeah.
24:47Yeah, right, good.
24:49That way?
24:50Yes.
25:00Fascinating narrative.
25:02Your character was going to...
25:04Are we going to a recorder convention?
25:05A recorder conference.
25:06And no paints allowed.
25:07We were all sent, I mean, months ago we were sent an envelope with a card saying no paint.
25:14It's looking very real in your mind, hasn't it, this conference?
25:17Yes.
25:17You must not have any paint on them whatsoever.
25:20Oh, God, no.
25:21You must not.
25:22It's to do with the acoustics.
25:23Yes.
25:26Of course, Joanna had a narrative to hers as well.
25:30What I was doing in the wheelbarrow with the trumpet, with Alex pushing me, I'm not sure.
25:36Ah!
25:39Sometimes, honesty is the best policy.
25:42I've got a backstory for you.
25:43Yes.
25:43If you were on your way to Horn Conference.
25:45No, no.
25:47Don't drag the girl into your madness.
25:49She's already looking for lint in people's belly buttons.
25:53Shall we see another?
25:53Let's see another near miss.
25:55OK.
25:55Next, it's one of the buffest guys we've ever had on the show.
25:58But Armando's already been, I hear you cry.
26:01True.
26:01But fortunately, we also have...
26:03Joel Domitz.
26:06Three.
26:08Two.
26:10One.
26:31One.
26:33Two.
26:37Low.
26:39What?
26:40Yeah, I missed you.
26:42Yes!
26:45It really is a high five.
26:48It's pretty good.
26:49It's pretty good.
26:50Yeah.
26:52Speaking plainly, you have been consistently awful in this show.
26:58But that, my friend, was a goddamn work of art, I thought.
27:02Yes!
27:03I didn't even want to know the narrative.
27:04I didn't even know if he was on his way to a bath conference.
27:08I didn't even think, like, a narrative was an option.
27:12Just, like, make a near miss, that's a near miss.
27:14When they started going down the narrative route, I was like,
27:17maybe I've done this wrong.
27:19Turns out narrative is fucking stupid.
27:21LAUGHTER
27:27OK, right, one more before the break.
27:29Next.
27:29It's actually the buffest guy we've ever had on the show.
27:32It is Kamala and John.
27:56Oh!
27:59Oh!
28:03Oh!
28:06Have you got the plan?
28:09No.
28:10It...
28:11It hit me in the centre of my body.
28:15You call it the centre of your body?
28:17Yeah, I think so.
28:18I'm pretty symmetric.
28:30I mean, real Hollywood stuff for some of it.
28:33For a bit of it, yeah.
28:35It's a near miss in that it nearly missed my penis.
28:39LAUGHTER
28:44I mean, that's what happened ultimately.
28:47It was Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood.
28:49Oh, he's taking a balloon to the dick.
28:51LAUGHTER
28:53That's us halfway through this final and, weirdly,
28:56Alex has asked to speak.
28:58Right, here we go.
28:59Yeah.
29:00So, hello, everyone.
29:00I just wanted to say I've loved every second of every series
29:04Taskmaster has brought me and you, hopefully.
29:08It's been the centre of my life for so long now.
29:10But I feel now is the right time for me to move on,
29:13to try something different.
29:14And so, sadly, this will be my final episode.
29:17So...
29:18Oh!
29:21Wah!
29:24As if.
29:25As if.
29:26This is all he's got.
29:27That's all I've got.
29:29We'll see you in a minute.
29:35APPLAUSE
29:40Welcome back.
29:41The finalists rapidly drawing to a close,
29:44but there's still work to be done.
29:46Yes, indeed.
29:46The current task involves having an exhilarating near miss.
29:49Yes, it's a light entertainment version of the Cuban Missile Crisis.
29:52LAUGHTER
29:53There's only one person left to go.
29:56It must be near Miss Amy Gledhill.
30:02Hello.
30:02Hello.
30:05Hit me with it.
30:08OK.
30:11Where should I aim?
30:13Right between the eyes.
30:15Yes, please.
30:16Yes.
30:17OK.
30:17Right.
30:18Are you ready?
30:20One.
30:20Two.
30:22Three.
30:23Go!
30:32That was a near miss.
30:34Yeah.
30:34Go away with that.
30:35Yeah.
30:36I think that went very well.
30:54There he is.
30:57Hello.
30:59Thanks, Amy.
31:03So close.
31:07I've seen it and I still don't understand how that happened.
31:11I think it was you hitting it with the frying pan.
31:15I see.
31:16It was right up there with Joel.
31:17Visually, though, I thought.
31:19It was spectacular.
31:19But, you know, obviously, a complete failure.
31:22LAUGHTER
31:22OK.
31:24So I want to reward exhilarating even if it was, well, rubbish.
31:31Right.
31:31So I'm going to give two points to Kamel and two points to Amy,
31:34just because I enjoyed the visual stunningness of it.
31:37It was exhilarating.
31:38I get two points for all that.
31:39Yep.
31:43You and your dick are welcome.
31:47I'm giving Joanna three points.
31:49It was a beautiful near miss.
31:52But Armando somehow won me over with this ridiculous convoluted story arc.
31:58So three points to Joanna, four points to Armando,
32:02and sometimes you just have to say,
32:04well, it was a work of art.
32:05Joel Dommert takes five points.
32:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:11I'm afraid the time has come for me to request
32:14the last pre-filmed task of the series.
32:18And I must give you that task and it shall be a team one.
32:22And just like Greg, it really is a big softie.
32:44MUSIC PLAYS
32:46Oh.
32:47Hey, Alex.
32:47Oh.
32:48Alex.
32:49Hello.
32:50Hello, Joanna.
32:51Ah, good. Pillars.
32:52Hello, Armando.
32:53Hello.
32:54Hello, Alex.
32:54OK.
32:55Ooh.
32:56Three pillars.
32:57Maybe it's a sleeping task.
32:59Oh, yes, please.
33:00Right.
33:01Yes.
33:03Choreograph and carry out...
33:05The greatest pillar fight of all time.
33:08Yes.
33:09Greatest pillar fight of all time wins.
33:11You have 20 minutes.
33:13Your time starts now.
33:14This is great.
33:15We've got a bona fide action star with us.
33:17Don't have to do it here, do we?
33:18Well, I know.
33:19I don't suppose we do, do we?
33:20Should we do it at, like, coming at each other from great distance?
33:23Yeah, that would be good.
33:25All right.
33:25Well, let's take these pillows and start finding good venue for it.
33:29Right.
33:29We need a battering ram and then some form of catapult.
33:31Yes.
33:34APPLAUSE
33:36Yes.
33:40I'm excited, especially now I know there's going to be catapults
33:43and battering rams involved.
33:45Let's have a look.
33:46Yes.
33:46They were ambitious, and for the last time, then, it is Armando
33:49and Joanna.
34:00I challenge you to pillow combat.
34:04Unleash the caterpillars!
34:07Roar!
34:09Roar!
34:09Roar!
34:10Company, we're being scattered cushions by the mad cackling moss lady
34:14across the valley.
34:15Hold the line!
34:16Will I unleash the power of a cushion cannon?
34:22Fire one!
34:23Roar!
34:24Roar!
34:24Fire two!
34:26Roar!
34:27Roar!
34:27We might as well do a third one!
34:30Roar!
34:31Roar!
34:32Roar!
34:33Is there a four?
34:34No, there isn't a four!
34:36Bash his walls in with my battering ram, made from my hardest memory foam!
34:45Roar!
34:46Roar!
34:48Roar!
34:48Roar!
34:49Roar!
34:49Roar!
34:50Roar!
34:51Roar!
34:52Roar!
34:52Roar!
34:53Roar!
34:54Roar!
34:54Roar!
34:54Roar!
34:57Roar!
34:59Roar!
35:03Roar!
35:04Roar!
35:14Roar!
35:15Roar!
35:17Roar!
35:19Roar!
35:20Roar!
35:21Roar!
35:21Roar!
35:21Roar!
35:21Roar!
35:22Roar!
35:22Roar!
35:22Roar!
35:22Roar!
35:23Roar!
35:24Roar!
35:25Roar!
35:28Roar!
35:30Roar!
35:34Join forces who should take down that evil elf that is the taskmaster's bidder.
35:39You mean the Dark Horn?
35:41Oh, yes. I mean the Dark Horn.
35:45Advance!
35:56Take it, Alex!
35:57No, thank you.
35:58The Dark Horn!
35:59Get the horn!
36:00Get the horn!
36:01Get the horn!
36:01Get the horn!
36:03Get it!
36:04I've got the clipboard!
36:06Got it!
36:06I've got all the other tasks!
36:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:18Wow.
36:20What an epic journey.
36:22Wow.
36:23I can't speak for everyone, but I certainly would like to taste the soft, fluffy underside of Armando's lance.
36:28LAUGHTER
36:29LAUGHTER
36:32I wasn't sure what people would say about you when the series airs, Joanna, but I think the cackling moss
36:38lady from across the valley works.
36:40LAUGHTER
36:43It had everything, didn't it?
36:44Two tribes, two tribes, warring, violence.
36:49Revenge on the elf.
36:50And then they came together.
36:52Yes.
36:52They formed a coalition.
36:54And then revolution.
36:55Yes.
36:56Attack the Dark Horn.
36:57Genuine pain and some allergies.
37:00LAUGHTER
37:01Got an epic film.
37:02What a team.
37:03Well done, you two.
37:04Oh, thank you.
37:09Sadly, there is just one part left of this sweet, sweet series.
37:13Who will lift aloft the tap to my right and become the latest addition to an elite group of champions
37:19that Joel Domit will always wonder what it's like to be part of?
37:23LAUGHTER
37:24We'll see you in a bit.
37:27APPLAUSE
37:34Hello.
37:35Welcome back to the final part of our grand final.
37:39Still, we're currently witnessing the greatest pillow fights of our time.
37:43We've seen one, but there's still one to go.
37:45That is correct.
37:47And so, for the final time, it is Fight Night with Amy, Joel and Kamel from way out west.
37:53Ooh.
37:54We'll see you next time, Joel.
37:56Oh, my God.
38:11I'm sorry.
38:18I'll see you next time.
38:34I
38:54Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
39:40Everybody looks pretty sexy in that, I thought.
39:44It was so fun.
39:46And look, full credit to Kamel, because he just turned so Hollywood so quick.
39:51It was, like, unbelievable.
39:52Took the whole thing by the horns.
39:54He was like, this angle, this angle.
39:55We're going to do this, this, and this, and we were all just like,
39:59It was unbelievable.
40:01It was unbelievable.
40:03We did it all.
40:05We're going to be in a film with Kamel.
40:08Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
40:10Let's put this on our CV.
40:13LAUGHTER
40:15Yeah, I wouldn't.
40:16No.
40:18LAUGHTER
40:19I don't know how to score these, because I enjoyed them both immensely.
40:24I don't think I've ever done this before.
40:26Oh.
40:26Oh.
40:28Trousers down, I think, is it?
40:31LAUGHTER
40:33LAUGHTER
40:35LAUGHTER
40:37LAUGHTER
40:44If you're giving us all five points, you've done nothing.
40:48You might as well give us zero points.
40:50I'm giving everyone five points apart from Kamel.
40:53LAUGHTER
40:54Oh, I'm giving zero points.
40:56LAUGHTER
40:57One final look at the scores.
40:59OK, can you give us five points again, so I can have a bit more TV-friendly reaction?
41:03OK.
41:03No.
41:04LAUGHTER
41:06No, I want everyone to see how mean-spirited you are.
41:11LAUGHTER
41:11LAUGHTER
41:13One final look at the meaningless scores, then.
41:16LAUGHTER
41:17Of course, Greg.
41:19Oh!
41:20Oh!
41:21Ooh!
41:22Stephen goes on deep fucking...
41:25Ooh!
41:26Ooh!
41:27CHEERING AND JOLD DOMINICS
41:32AND JOLD DOMINICS
41:33Oh, my God!
41:35They're all JOLD DOMINICS!
41:37THEY'VE ALL DONE IT!
41:41CHEERING AND JOLD DOMINICS
41:42EGG, United by EGG!
41:44CHEERING AND JOLD DOMINICS
41:48That would be such a heart-warming moment.
41:51But for me, now that everyone's got an egg, it's meaningless.
41:57LAUGHTER
41:57CHEERING AND JOLD DOMINICS
42:03Want a final look at the scores?
42:05Of course.
42:06Well, the series is hotting up, the episode even more so.
42:10We have joint leaders Armando and Joel are both on 18 points.
42:13CHEERING AND JOLD DOMINICS
42:16CHEERING AND JOLD DOMINICS
42:17CHEERING AND JOLD DOMINICS
42:18Well, genuinely, you're sad that that's the end of the VTs.
42:23Oh...
42:23I'm genuinely sorry to see you go.
42:24Oh, well.
42:26OK, everyone, please make your way to the stage
42:28for the final live task of the series!
42:36CHEERING AND JOLD DOMINICS
42:40Wow.
42:42This looks like a hell of a way to go out.
42:45Who will be reading the task?
42:47Joel Domit's going to read the task.
42:50CHUCK YOUR DUCK IN YOUR BUCK.
42:54YOU MUST SIT ON YOUR CHAIR AT ALL TIMES AND YOU MUST NOT TOUCH THE GROUND OR ANYTHING OTHER THAN
42:59YOUR CHAIR OR DUCK WITH ANY PART OF YOUR BODY.
43:03FASTEST WINS.
43:04OK.
43:05So, it says chuck your duck into your buck.
43:07By chuck, we mean put, but that doesn't rhyme with duck.
43:10LAUGHTER
43:10And by buck, we mean bucket, but we don't mean chuck.
43:12Just put your duck in the bucket, that's what you've got to do.
43:14Greg, they are under starter's orders and you are the starter.
43:17Three, two, one.
43:20Baa!
43:20And the rocks.
43:22Baa!
43:24Baa!
43:24Beat up the crown.
43:25Baa!
43:28Baa!
43:28And Joel's in the lead.
43:29Baa!
43:31Baa!
43:32Baa!
43:33Kamal's coming.
43:34Kamal's overtaking Joel.
43:36Baa!
43:37Baa!
43:38Baa!
43:39Baa!
43:40Baa!
43:41Baa!
43:42Baa!
43:42Baa!
43:43Baa!
43:44Baa!
43:46Baa!
43:47He's almost there.
43:47Oof!
43:49Oh, the size is all there.
43:51Wonderful!
43:52Oh, he's there!
43:54Armando v. G банitsy, Joanna.
44:02Baa!
44:03Baa!
44:07Baaa!
44:09Baa!
44:13Baa!
44:14Come down here, we'll end that to the final scores!
44:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:26I mean, what an end to the series Joel Domit's had.
44:33That...
44:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:36Powered for victory.
44:38You...
44:40You came in strong at the end?
44:42Yeah, I'm better in a soup, I think.
44:44I think that might be it.
44:45You chuck your duck in the buck first, you got five points.
44:47And so, the final scores of this episode are...
44:50Armando in second place with 20,
44:52but the winner with 23 points is Joel Domit!
44:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:57Joel Domit wins the episode!
45:00You've qualified to collect your quality collection!
45:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:15Ooooooooh!
45:20The time has come once again to crown a new champion.
45:27It's been an exceptional series.
45:29They all deserve so much respect for their careers outside of this programme.
45:33But the last ten weeks have been a pure joy.
45:37So, now, we must find out the final scores with my good, good boy,
45:43a little Alex Head.
45:45LAUGHTER
45:45I'm a 47-year-old man.
45:48LAUGHTER
45:49So, Greg, in last place,
45:52but not nearly as last place as we thought for quite a long time,
45:56is Joel Domit with 150 points!
45:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:01Yeah.
46:04And...
46:05Just five points ahead of Joel.
46:07With 155 points, it's Amy Glendhill!
46:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:15Yeah.
46:17160 points.
46:19To somebody who quibbled more than the others,
46:21and we love him for it, it's Kamel Nanjani!
46:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:29So, here we go.
46:31It's someone in the team of two that wins.
46:33Ooh!
46:34With 161 points.
46:36Our second-place person is...
46:39Armando Iannucci!
46:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:46And so, the winner got 165 points, Greg.
46:52Yes.
46:53And that winner is...
46:55Joanna Payne!
46:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:00The new Test Master Champion is Joanna Payne!
47:04Oh, my God!
47:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:10Congratulations.
47:11It's yours.
47:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:37And speaking also!
47:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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