- 3 weeks ago
Virgin Island - Season 2 Episode 1
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:04I'm nervous. I'm going to take it one step at a time. I'm absolutely petrified.
00:10Twelve virgins are travelling to a unique island retreat that could change their lives forever.
00:18This is maybe the strangest day of my life.
00:21Being a virgin at the age of 22 feels very lonely. I've just sort of given up all hope.
00:28In a world saturated with sex, more young adults than ever are caught in an intimacy epidemic.
00:35The thought of having sex with someone...
00:37Scares me. It gives me the ick.
00:39I don't feel confident.
00:40I'm missing out.
00:41Terrified at the thought of it.
00:42Nerve-racking.
00:43Gut-wrenching.
00:44Embarrassing.
00:45All I think about is what I'm going to get wrong.
00:48Can you point to the outer labia?
00:51Nope.
00:54Now...
00:55Oh my god!
00:56They're getting a crash course in intimacy.
00:59Social media, porn, dating apps. There are so many negative messages and we can help them blossom.
01:06Use it by stimulating the area.
01:08Guided by a team of experts.
01:10You see yourself as...
01:12Propulsive.
01:13They'll confront their insecurities.
01:15I'm hiding. How upset actually do you feel?
01:18Exploring intimacy.
01:21In every form.
01:23Yes, yes. Good.
01:26And maybe...
01:27Have sex with a trained therapist.
01:32Desperate times call for desperate measures.
01:35Or even one another.
01:37Why are you nervous around me?
01:38I don't know.
01:39That's so good.
01:41I really do need to change my life.
01:43The question is...
01:45Get a room, guys!
01:47Who will finally be ready...
01:49Just, like, get a bit anxious.
01:51...to go all the way...
01:53Touching me here again?
01:54Mm-hmm.
01:54...on Virgin Island.
02:05It is such a beautiful day to show up on the island.
02:08That's perfect.
02:09For the next three weeks...
02:11Hi!
02:12Hi!
02:13This groundbreaking retreat will be home to 12 young people.
02:17Would you like a hug?
02:18Yeah, go on then.
02:20From all over the UK...
02:22Hello!
02:23You must be Teagan.
02:24Yes.
02:25Who need help.
02:26Well, I didn't fall in the sea, so I've done better than I thought I was going to do.
02:31I've never kissed anyone.
02:32I've never dated anyone.
02:33I've never had sex with anyone.
02:35I am a grade-A virgin.
02:37My life just can't go on like this.
02:39I just need to take your phone.
02:40Yes, of course.
02:42The retreat's rules include a full break from the pressures of technology.
02:46So you can just, like, dive in.
02:48Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:50You see sex everywhere.
02:51Sex sells is the old cliché.
02:53Be it from social media, porn.
02:56But always the thing on my mind is that I can't get an erection.
02:59Being a virgin at the age of 28, I feel almost a failure in many ways.
03:07The group will live on the island for three weeks.
03:10Oh, this is your recommendation.
03:13Totally cut off from the distractions of modern life.
03:16Go ahead and get settled.
03:17OK, there's clothes there.
03:20Including the pressures of their appearance.
03:22Oh, wow.
03:24They're giving off jungle vibes.
03:26I've always hated my body and I've got badly bullied over it in the past.
03:31I'm terrified to be naked in front of someone.
03:35It does make me cry when I think about it.
03:37Yeah, it makes me really upset.
03:46Before the course begins, the group have a chance to get to know each other at the Hangout.
03:51Hello.
03:52Hi.
03:53Callum.
03:54I'm Katie.
03:55Hi.
03:55Nice to meet you.
03:56Where are you from?
03:58Er, Blackpool.
03:59From Peterborough.
04:00Peterborough?
04:01Yeah.
04:02Shit hole.
04:05I literally don't do anything other than sit on my computer 24-7.
04:10I'm definitely addicted to gaming.
04:13I don't really interact with any girls.
04:16It makes me feel alone.
04:19Where are you from?
04:21Oh, so born in the UK, but raised in South Africa, but live in the UK.
04:26I instantly don't trust men.
04:29Alex, nice to meet you.
04:30Hi.
04:30It makes me a bit sad, and I don't really know what to do about it, to be honest.
04:37So, how old are you?
04:38I'm 28.
04:39You're 28.
04:40I'm 23.
04:41I'm 22.
04:4226.
04:43I'm quite robotic with women.
04:46I've had no girlfriends.
04:48It's just a bit sad, isn't it?
04:50We've got another person.
04:51Hi.
04:52Oh.
04:52Hiya.
04:53With sexual intimacy, I feel a little bit broken.
04:58I can't have sex.
05:00I have a condition called vaginismus.
05:03If somebody tried to touch my vagina, it would be pain, and it would be discomfort, and I'm living life
05:08in fear.
05:09The way that you're seen as a woman who can't physically have sex is like, what's the point?
05:18One of the reasons that people are not having sex is there's just a lot more self-consciousness.
05:22Everybody's being watched all the time, you know, by their parents, by social media, by their friends.
05:27Hello.
05:28So we're seeing a lot more people just not getting out there and connecting.
05:32There's lots of fear around being cancelled, and they're terrified of failing.
05:37But we got amazing results last time, and I have really high hopes for this new group of virgins.
05:44Hi, everyone.
05:45I'm Ellen.
05:46Hello.
05:46Nice to meet you all.
05:48How old are you?
05:50Um, 35.
05:53Wow.
05:53Only just.
05:54I don't want to get to 40 and still be the virgin.
05:59The expectation of, you're married, you've got kids.
06:03And at 35, I haven't got those things.
06:06I feel like a freak, really.
06:08And, like, I've, you know, let people down.
06:13Yeah.
06:14So is anyone else in the LGBTQ plus community?
06:18Obviously.
06:18Yeah, you can't look at me the only gay on the island.
06:21Trust me or not.
06:22I grew up in a very traditional town.
06:25There wasn't a lot of open queer people.
06:27When I knew I was bi, I didn't tell my parents.
06:31I was actually quite scared.
06:33I identify as bisexual, but I'm quite a late bloom.
06:37At school, it was a discussion about masturbation.
06:41I thought it was a game show.
06:43I thought it was mastermind.
06:46Hello.
06:46Hey.
06:47Hello, hello.
06:48My name's Ed.
06:48What's he?
06:49Do you want to know first?
06:50What's your star sign?
06:53That's always a question.
06:56I feel like an outsider a lot of the time.
06:58The big part of that is my disability.
07:01I was born without a right pectoral.
07:03Restricted movement in my wrist and my arm.
07:06It has impacted the way I am.
07:08I wouldn't have the confidence to talk to girls.
07:11I find it really hard.
07:14Well, hey.
07:15You're the last one.
07:16Oh, my name's Will.
07:18I've just turned 30.
07:19I'm a virgin.
07:21Being a virgin, it's not something I'm proud of.
07:24Something I experienced when I was younger is premature ejaculation.
07:27I fear that may still be an issue now.
07:29So I think when I have sex for the first time, it's going to be really quick.
07:34The idea of having sex is a far away dream for me.
07:38Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:39I've never had a girlfriend ever.
07:41Same.
07:41Yeah.
07:42One of the nicknames I have is Posh Bertie.
07:46I'm a very well-spoken individual.
07:49I've not told anyone that I'm a virgin, but I think people would guess, yeah, he's a virgin to me.
07:57Definitely feel one step behind everyone.
08:00Yeah.
08:02The group knows the weeks ahead won't be easy, but they have a determination to change their lives.
08:09Breathe into your own body.
08:12This unique course has been created by pioneering sex therapists Celeste and Danielle.
08:19And let it out.
08:20Oh.
08:22The ethos at the retreat is very supportive.
08:25There's so much for them to learn.
08:27We have new exercises, new experts and some special surprises.
08:35Supported by a team of sex therapists from across the globe.
08:40Trained in a range of touch-based therapies.
08:43Which finger would you like to enter me with?
08:45They'll address the group's anxieties.
08:48She is terrified of lowering the mask.
08:52And push them to their limits.
08:55Amazing.
08:57Hidden away on the island are dedicated therapy spaces.
09:01And private bedrooms where they'll begin to explore intimacy.
09:06I'm hoping that everybody gets to find out who they are as a sexual being, regardless of being a virgin.
09:12But it is going to be a huge challenge.
09:16Each phase of the course will challenge the group like never before.
09:26As they take their first steps towards sexual connection.
09:40And it all starts here.
09:47By confronting one of the biggest barriers to intimacy.
09:54Shame.
09:58Welcome to Virgin Island.
10:00We're so excited to have you here.
10:02This phase is all about shame.
10:06Shame really interrupts pleasure.
10:09And so we are shame warriors.
10:12We want to wipe away the shame that gets in your way.
10:17If I could shake off the shame of being a virgin, I'd feel a lot happier in myself.
10:23I feel judged.
10:25And it's not something that I talk about, really.
10:31First, Celeste and Danielle will perform an intimate demonstration.
10:35Designed to reveal the group's level of awkwardness and shame.
10:38So, this demo is called Pillow Talk.
10:42Oh, God.
10:44There's a bed.
10:45Oh, my gosh.
10:46I'm starting to feel a bit sick.
10:47Yeah.
10:48Terrified.
10:49We want to find out who is comfortable watching intimacy and the different kinds of talk and touch that come
10:55with romance, that come with passion, that come with erotic energy.
11:01Oh, my God.
11:03Oh, my God.
11:03Your eyes are so beautiful and sexy.
11:07And the way you hold yourself turns me on so much.
11:11I think I'm going to have to smell you.
11:20I feel so lucky to be able to touch you.
11:39Any feelings watching it?
11:47it's quite weird having to watch it with other people it's a bit
11:50yeah i think i just feel like a little bit guilty i think like the idea of watching this and
11:56then
11:56being asked to like do that that's like sinful
12:03growing up as a christian you kind of feel you you should be one way um which is usually a
12:08very
12:08good way i have to be kind i have to be soft but i have a sexual side to myself
12:15it kind of brings on
12:17these feelings of shame and and fear because you feel you're you're doing something sinful for
12:22wanting to experience pleasure and i don't see a light at the end of the tunnel right now
12:29we all have ideas and judgment and what we think we should be and all those interventions
12:35frees us up the best way to work your way out of shame is to start to get a different
12:41reaction
12:42to shame
12:45to help the group do that you are going to get your scratch on no i do not
12:53celeste and danielle start with a series i am folding my arms
12:57this is just so awkward of deliberately uncomfortable exercises now i'm gonna be choo-choo trained
13:05oh my god i see myself as very socially awkward and sometimes weird shake it shake it shake it
13:19i was diagnosed with autism i get nervous i get stressed my eye contact goes all over the place
13:26being a virgin you just feel very isolated and you feel very ashamed of yourself
13:34after the warm-up celeste and danielle raise the stakes with a more challenging physical exercise
13:41so i want a brave volunteer somatic therapy is not just focusing on the brain
13:47it's helping people in a more physical experiential way
13:55for 28 year old graduate alex going first is a chance to face his fears
14:01anxiety has played a massive part in my life going to private school i put myself under a lot of
14:05pressure that if i didn't perform my best i feel i'd let people down and never really knew how bad
14:11it
14:11was until i tried to have sex and was too nervous to do it anything less than perfect is is
14:16not good
14:16enough for me so i'm gonna start by touching you for my pleasure and then you're gonna touch me
14:22for your pleasure i'm starting by connecting with myself and feeling my body
14:48want to try yeah sure
15:07was that okay really feeling it in your body that's what we're going for
15:13after alex's attempt others step up to give it a try
15:19you like do it a bit harder harder
15:26while some get to grips with the exercise
15:30how's that feel
15:31it feels nice
15:33others can't even bear to watch
16:08anyone else want to give it a try
16:13counting one counting two counting three
16:22oh my god
16:24that's hard
16:25personally that was a little bit creepy i need to be able to be confident in myself to do the
16:30whole touching exercise i believe the cool kids call it riz i need to have good riz
16:47to throw yourself in as much as possible to experience like all these cringe things and embarrassing
16:51things was a struggle joy if you don't mind me asking why um was it so hard for you the
16:56whole
16:57touching thing why do you get a like a better reaction to it
17:03no worries that workshop was such an emotionally intense experience to come on the island day one
17:10and be expected to have some kind of erotic energy is a really hard thing for me
17:14i didn't realize how uncomfortable that might make me feel
17:19um next time i would walk out
17:32so beautiful
17:33yeah it is isn't it
17:34oh
17:35come here come here
17:36lizzie
17:37oh my god
17:38i've never seen a lizard before
17:40eee
17:41oh i don't like it
17:42come out at night and nibble you
17:44i might have to tuck my trousers into my socks in case it crawls up my leg
17:48no and he's gone
17:51it's halfway through day one on virgin island
17:54i don't want to name exact figures but i think it was like one in eight people
17:57virgins at 25 so in a room this big it's like one and a bit people
18:01well i think in this in this room it'd be
18:02on an island on a virgin island
18:09every day the experts gather to evaluate progress
18:12and work out which therapies will be most effective
18:15it's very interesting to see how they reacted to different exercises
18:20oh they've got a one-on-one session here guys
18:23oh my god
18:24afternoons are dedicated to individual therapy sessions
18:28for those working through specific intimacy issues
18:32i don't know if i feel more calm
18:34or more stressed
18:35yeah
18:37everybody has this fear like oh my god it's going to be so scary or uncomfortable
18:41but you have to completely rewire your brain
18:44in order for change to really happen
18:46hi there
18:47hi
18:49how do you feel
18:50kind of on edge i guess
18:52mm-hmm
18:53the more you can be honest and drop into your truth
18:56without too much humor
18:57yeah i can't promise you that
18:58that is going to allow us to go somewhere
19:00oh i don't like this i don't like crying
19:03i feel like i just can't relax i'm still really scared i'm not sure why
19:10out of all the reactions from this morning the experts were most struck by joys
19:16when will and marianne were touching i could see her some tears came out
19:22she really struggled with that
19:28some came up for you today in the workshop
19:30well i feel like i have this weight on my shoulders of like i'm a christian
19:34you have to be good
19:35yeah
19:35and experiencing sexual pleasure for like for fun
19:38mm-hmm
19:39how is that good
19:40yeah
19:41but it isn't just feelings of religious shame that are holding joy back
19:46i know i have a sexual side to me
19:48mm-hmm
19:48but i have vaginismus
19:51vaginismus is a condition related to your pelvic floor
19:55and also has a psychological fear component around the idea of insertion or entry
20:00the moment i realized that i had vaginismus
20:03it was like this whole idea of a sector of my life that could be just closed up
20:08i can't wear a tampon i can't do a pap smear
20:11um and i definitely can't have sex
20:13it's just it's so hard
20:16at one point like i literally thought that god cursed me with vaginismus i thought he like
20:21i thought he did it to me to stop me from having sex
20:24and i feel like it's hard to like undo that feeling
20:30maybe that first piece is about pleasure being good
20:39i'm really tight i'm really like anxious i feel like i'm like no it's not no it's not no it's
20:44not
20:45and that clench happens probably all the way into your vagina
20:50so i want you to feel all of the tightness and the clenchedness and then you can feel the the
20:56contrast
20:57let's feel the clench
21:07like a little shakiness happened in your did you feel it yeah you know what that is
21:14what it's like a little tiny release of trauma
21:17oh wow from all the holding
21:21you deserve to have that circuit of pleasure
21:29shame gets in the way of sexual intimacy and you cannot get to the other side of shame
21:35until you expose it
21:37i feel a bit like in shock it was it was quite intense
21:41i just hadn't even realized all the tension i've been holding in my body
21:44it just made me realize like how much i need this experience
21:51for a gold star lesbian my mind's constantly in the gutter
21:55what's a gold star lesbian gold star lesbian is someone who has never had sex with a man
21:59oh okay the thought of a penis going near me scares me in a way that's like ew get away
22:04nothing to do with you guys no no it's just i get that i'm like anything below their tummy
22:09i'm like no i mean you probably all have amazing penises i'm not saying
22:14oh my god it doesn't matter to come so quick
22:16as the group starts to bond oh this is really like giving hippie vibes isn't it
22:28celeste and danielle aim to push them further in the next exercise
22:31hello hello to help release their shame once and for all
22:38all right well as we said this part of the course is all about shame
22:41what we want you to do is write in your notebooks all the negative things people say about you
22:48and all the self-critical thoughts you keep repeating to yourself
22:52we really need to get them out so that we can take the power away from them
23:02the group have been sent off in pairs to share their shame words
23:06it's difficult yeah i'm not exactly an open book people see me as fat ugly and as they identify
23:15their insecurities i don't like how i'm not at all that good socially it's why i've never been on a
23:24date
23:24before really yeah their barriers come down ugly unattractive to girls
23:31have been able to get a date in years my anxiety particularly around uh intimacy and interacting with women
23:38i worry that i'm just not good enough
23:44but 23 year old katie bad things people are saying about me
23:48is writing more than most i was once labeled the ugliest girl in school
23:54oh my god um a whale fat slash obese ugly a liar monster disappointment
24:02and frigid because i've never gone with anyone before
24:06yeah
24:10i know how it feels to have something horrible said to me
24:13sometimes i look in the mirror to make myself upset
24:17because i need a good cry and it works
24:20i don't think there's ever been a time where i truly
24:24have felt good in my looks
24:27ever no
24:29are those things people have actually said about you
24:31to my face or online where i've seen
24:34online yeah people that i know in person
24:37oh my god yeah commented publicly
24:42oh my gosh i'm so sorry
24:53figuring out the words though is only half the exercise
24:57how did you find that
25:00it's quite challenging
25:01i was going to say the same
25:02yeah
25:02it was quite hard
25:03so joy this one's for you
25:04thank you
25:05now the experts want them to write their words down
25:08on a t-shirt to confront and let go of their self-doubt
25:12i'm going to invite you to narrow down
25:15from all the things that you've written
25:17which ones hold the most emotion
25:20so that you can create a t-shirt that's a symbol of all of that
25:24mm-hmm
25:27i'm scared that i'm going to get upset
25:30thinking back about all the memories and stuff from school
25:33and all the bad things that i got told and
25:35and i say to myself it's quite difficult
25:41but i really do want to be able to get as much out of this as i can
25:44it's scary though
26:02good morning
26:04good morning
26:05good morning
26:06hey you guys how we going
26:07good morning
26:09oh we've got raisins
26:10don't tell me you're eating a lemon
26:12i like lemon
26:14it's the morning on virgin island
26:19i'm really nervous for today
26:20and the sessions are set to become even more revealing
26:23as we go through this phase
26:26i do feel quite a big shame over myself
26:29so i'm a little bit apprehensive
26:31i was so nervous at first workshop my heart was going i didn't realize how nervous i was
26:35sex intimacy are meant to be natural and experienced by lots of people and enjoyed
26:40whereas me i sort of feel scared of them let's go
26:44i have no idea how far i'm going to go with this
26:47you know it's only going to get more intense from here
26:53having faced many hard truths
26:56hello
26:57celeste and danielle's next exercise will challenge the group even further
27:02oh dear what's that bad
27:06with some exposure therapy virgin island style
27:10society gives these negative messages to us about what it means to be a sexual being
27:15so it's really important to get comfortable with intimacy
27:21today you're gonna be exploring erotic life drawing
27:27we're gonna invite our lovely models
27:30there they are here they are
27:33the only time i've seen vagina or boobs is off like sticky vicky when i went to benidorm
27:39that is probably the only time i've ever really seen it in real life
27:43i have seen some images online and i'm like oh actually penises are a bit ugly
27:49i know the different parts and the names of the female anatomy but do you know i genuinely don't
27:57think i've seen one in person i'm the most white meat virgin you could possibly meet
28:04don't hide keep your eyes open and be curious
28:24oh my god so many naked parts right now
28:28so i don't want you to worry about showing off your artistic talent it's really about looking
28:32at a naked body and letting yourself feel the sensuality of that oh my gosh oh my gosh
28:40just roll
28:44it's gonna start this
28:45oh we got this
28:48we're expecting to see some discomfort embarrassment to be exposed to naked bodies
28:56we can really see the comfort level
28:59stop making me laugh jason
29:04embarrassing
29:04i can't tell you what's more
29:11all i can see is vaginas and boobs
29:17whilst the sight of naked bodies has everyone giggling awkwardly
29:22i really feel uncomfortable ellen is struggling the most
29:30growing up my parents would never talk about sex and at the time there wasn't the internet as there is
29:37now i'm in my 30s i am gay and i've not had a relationship and i've not had experience around
29:44sexual
29:45intimacy sex it's something that i feel anxious about
29:53don't want to do it
29:55no one is seeing mine because it is absolutely terrible
29:59you'd have to show me if you don't want to one second sneak peek
30:02can i have a two seconds no
30:06so we really want to thank our beautiful models here
30:13any thoughts that you want to share
30:19i was instantly like oh my gosh oh my gosh i shouldn't be watching this i felt the discomfort of
30:24that
30:25yeah
30:30it felt like you're literally watching like a group porno
30:32i was like oh i want to look but i was like oh it feels wrong to look
30:35yeah nudity felt a bit too soon for me despite being the oldest of the group
30:43when you kiss someone do you do it with your eyes open or your eyes closed
30:50ellen's lack of experience is clear to everyone
30:55she was having a hard time to look at you yeah i'm excited to have
30:59a session with her to introduce her to the first steps of intimacy
31:04with a storm approaching ellen's feeling a little blustered hello it's windy
31:17ellen you have a sexy smile
31:23lou had a tiny tiny little exchange of erotic energy yeah yeah okay did you feel it um
31:30um
31:32no but i i guess i don't know what that feeling is because i've not experienced it before yeah
31:44you know what i love awkward silences where you just look at each other okay yeah
31:56a lot of times that's what happens right before a kiss yeah
32:03but i don't
32:04i don't want that to happen no we're not doing that today we're just talking in a flirtatious way
32:12what do you think um i'm thinking i'm fine as long as you're on that chair and i'm on this
32:17i'm staying over here don't worry
32:24thank you bye
32:28how was that um in my head i was like okay i'm gonna jump in and then when i got
32:32in there i was like
32:33all of a sudden just like my body closed up i don't like the idea of someone coming into my
32:42personal
32:42space that's why i'm here like i've never been very good at it and i i feel like a failure
32:58so are you into females then oh i'm i am a straight heterosexual male nice you are
33:05you're bisexual yeah yeah yeah do you know what it was so weird i had a dream last night of
33:11you guys
33:11mainly alex weird i can't wait to tell you hello did you know katie dreamt about you last night no
33:23so what happened in the dream cake she doesn't really i don't remember at all
33:29though katie was dreaming of alex for him yesterday's workshop was a nightmare
33:35i demoed with him yesterday i felt he was really frozen he can be a little in his head so
33:43i'm
33:44curious if we're going through exercises if he's just going to perform them rather than like actually
33:49experiencing sensation and emotions yeah what did it feel like when you like touched him panicky i i
33:58don't know how calm it looked or how i looked but yeah my heart was going i was shaking a
34:02bit
34:06so danielle's decided to dig deeper hello come on in into what's holding him back
34:12i feel your heart beating all the way to here sex for me has always been quite a nervous thing
34:19i've always had anxiety i've always had performance anxiety sports homework whatever and so the first
34:24time i tried to have sex i couldn't get an erection because i was just too nervous not being able
34:29to
34:29get an erection it's constantly playing on my mind it feels embarrassing even to say because it's like
34:34oh this is something that old people deal with but i i just feel like defeated by it you spend
34:42a lot of
34:42time trying to control your body from your head i want to invite you to start to let your body
34:47control
34:47as opposed to the opposite yeah so what i want us to do now is for you to touch me
34:53and really let
34:54yourself enjoy and do what feels good yeah what feels good to you this time danielle wants to see if
35:01alex can fully immerse himself in his sensations are you okay for me to start yes please okay i'm gonna
35:08start
35:28with your arm
35:28then move me down to your chest
35:38and then move me down to your chest
35:47hmm penny for your thoughts
35:51the main ever riding thing is still that worry of not getting an erection
35:56but this is like the building blocks so i really want us to have soft goals as opposed to hard
36:01goals
36:02no pan intended because your full body is like a big erection you know like your full body is
36:11a pleasure tool it's not only your cock that's a pleasure tool
36:16to get it yeah absolutely yeah yeah
36:25what did you do just your mutual touching really but i think i went into it thinking oh yeah she'll
36:31cure me and i won't feel anxious ever again around women but you're not going to get cured on the
36:36first
36:40session yeah oh are you doing it you do it like that really i thought it was like that whilst
36:47the
36:47others start to embrace island life bertie is finding it harder to adjust okay a mixture of all nerves
36:55i don't like you sitting by yourself i'm i'm okay i do feel like the weak link and the odd
37:01one out
37:01because i'm not very sociable i'm still cautious i'm still nervous
37:06you're okay bertie i'm good you're right
37:08i'm right yeah i was gonna go brush my gums and do a dance
37:11but what on earth am i going to be like in the days to come when it gets more challenging
37:17and more
37:17intense this whole island is it's it's not just virgin island it's unpredictability island
37:36you know what most women say is the length they want to have sex for
37:42four and a half minutes four and a half yeah no they want to have no sure yeah yeah they
37:49want
37:49sex the actual p and v to be four and a half minutes really what's p and v penis and
37:55vagina
37:56oh that's good it's mid-afternoon on virgin island 30 how are you all right i don't know when
38:09everyone's all together it just gets a bit awkward for me you know i like my oh my god nearly
38:13fell off
38:13i like my uh my space a bit more just gonna just take it easy for a bit okay i'll
38:18see you soon no
38:19worries in terms of sex i've got no clue which is pretty embarrassing coming from
38:26someone who's 24 years old but i don't want to be alone in my whole life i just want to
38:32be able
38:33to live normally and just find more confidence in in myself hi celeste aims to start bertie's
38:44route to intimacy by helping him with connection hello oh hello
38:53how do you feel about eye contact aha i knew that was going to come out i am terrible at
38:57it yeah my
38:58eye contact goes all over the place um no matter who i'm talking to well i do feel like you
39:03you think
39:04a lot i am an overthinker so i want to slow it down a little bit like let your brain
39:09relax a moment and then
39:10see what it's like to come back more deliberately and connect and look at me
39:24this is a bit awkward isn't it intimacy is super awkward i know that's not going to go away yeah
39:29so let's just be awkward together
39:42it's hard to take it seriously it is and you don't have to take it so seriously you can think
39:47we're just
39:47having fun together yeah yeah you've got some good sexy eye contact you might not know it
40:03and now you're looking at me so much more i feel connected to you
40:09after bertie perfects the sexy eyes great so if you want to scooch over a little bit
40:14yeah celeste decides to increase the intimacy
40:20what if i like came in right there for a second
40:25i mean that was a bit weird but okay yeah
40:32oh that's so nice you just perfectly like invited me and cuddled me wow
40:43i really like it when you kind of rest your cheek against my forehead yeah you're very nice
40:50it feels natural feels natural exactly feels good
40:56it's not long before celeste's technique boosts bertie's confidence
41:03i'll see them giving you a little kiss on the floor i felt that i love that
41:08what about can i go on yeah
41:14well i got a lipstick now you're having excellent you're having very kids
41:21thank you very much love you bye okay bye so celeste was she was brilliant and this has happened
41:32and i feel a lot more relieved and a lot more at ease with everything that was a bit of
41:38a confidence
41:38boost for me hi bertie hello you want to know how it went what do you think let's go
41:49bertie's not gonna wash his cheek
41:58as the sun sets on the retreat the first phase of the course draws to a close
42:05the first phase of the course has been really intense getting rid of shame is foundational to
42:11being able to have a pleasurable sex life but the way that they have taken it on it's unprecedented
42:18they all have challenges they all have traumas but every individual is beautiful and unique
42:23and the sky's the limit in terms of what's possible here
42:36so the experts have arranged a ceremonial bonfire to burn away their lifetime of shame
42:45we've asked you to face your shame directly you have talked about it put it on your t-shirts
42:52and now it's time to let it go the hope is this ritual marks a turning point and the start
42:59of the rest
42:59of their lives so for me shame is feeling ugly um sorry um yeah i felt ugly like most of
43:13my life
43:15and i felt ashamed of myself for you know putting on weight so brave are you ready to let it
43:24go
43:24yeah it's going in the fire yes
43:34physical appearance is a common theme i look at everyone else around me and i think they're far more
43:39attractive never getting matched than dating apps and it's it makes me feel really crap about myself
43:45fat and ugly unlovable and i take up too much room quite literally
43:50i actually got voted ugliest girl in the whole school oh my god and depending on the people i
43:56can be too loud or to quiet with so let it go let it go let it go
44:06ng is not good enough i always feel like i'm falling short of a lot of things
44:12deep-rooted issues around self-worth are also shared across the group i feel as though like i might
44:18perceived as childish and that i'm a bit unambitious i've been told i'm too loud basically just i'm too
44:26much for some people and then that kind of leads on to the second point which is that i'm unlikable
44:32and unlovable i've not had an adult relationship at all i feel terribly unwanted i seriously do
44:40are you ready to let it go yeah
45:00it's okay
45:03i think i've been like carrying with me some feelings about myself since i was about like 12
45:11and i think having these horrible thoughts that i'm a horrible person
45:16and that people don't like me and that i'm really dirty and sinful
45:27and that people don't like me and that people don't like me and that people don't like me
45:30writing it down on the t-shirt was one thing but to actually speak it out was liberating
45:37yeah i found it really difficult to throw my top in the fire i'm just hoping i can become more
45:44at
45:44one with myself shame is something that i specifically struggle with a lot i feel a
45:50lot lighter all my worst things i think about myself finally like out there and i burned them
46:00next time your dick is connected to my pussy it's the turn-on phase where the group discover their
46:07animal instincts there's another animal next to you oh oh no emotions are laid bare quite sad i'm still
46:16stuck with that feeling and for some things are on the up it felt really nice when you're brushing
46:24past my genitals would you like me to do that yeah
46:28so
46:39so
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