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Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:11Oh
00:00:34Hey, what's up, everybody? I'm Thurgood Jenkins.
00:00:37You know, it's funny, but I can trace the entire path of my life to one childhood memory.
00:00:43My last clear memory, really.
00:00:46You see, it was the summer before ninth grade.
00:00:48Me, Brian, Kenny, Scarface, and of course, the lovable old James.
00:00:54Oh, hold on. Wait a minute. Old James wasn't there.
00:00:57I don't even know nobody named old James. Shoot. Gone.
00:01:05Why didn't you light it up there, brother?
00:01:07All right. Here goes nothing.
00:01:15I don't remember graduating.
00:01:17In my first sexual experience, I don't remember that either.
00:01:20But, man, I will never, ever forget the first time I smoked that sweet, sweet Chiba.
00:01:28Feel what I mean?
00:01:29Yeah.
00:01:30I feel my chest caving in.
00:01:33Man, this stuff didn't even work.
00:01:34Man!
00:01:35Come on, let's just go get some can and get out of here, B.
00:01:54You know, I've heard people say they don't get high the first time they smoke.
00:01:59Not me.
00:02:00Oh, not us.
00:02:01We were really, really high.
00:02:05We was tolled up.
00:02:16Do you guys feel different?
00:02:18A little.
00:02:20How about you, Scarface?
00:02:23How you doing, Kenny?
00:02:25Kenny!
00:02:28I haven't been so thirsty for my entire life.
00:02:33Do you guys hear that?
00:02:34Feels like Jerry Garcia's in my head.
00:02:38Am I going crazy?
00:02:40We look at that day as the day that we met the fifth member of our crew.
00:02:44Marijuana.
00:02:46Oh, Lord, we were hooked.
00:02:51So now we all live together in New York.
00:02:53I myself am a master of the custodial arts.
00:02:57Or a janitor, if you want to be a dick about it.
00:03:00Anyway, I work at this lab.
00:03:03Frankincense and Burr Pharmaceutical.
00:03:05They do pharmaceutical testing for the government and big corporations.
00:03:09And I am the happiest custodian alive.
00:03:12What up?
00:03:15Yeah.
00:03:16Jobs.
00:03:21Abba-zabba.
00:03:24You're my only friend.
00:03:25That could be worse.
00:03:27I could have Scarface's job.
00:03:29Heifer with cheese.
00:03:30You son of a bitch, I'm right behind you.
00:03:33Turn around and ask me for a heifer with cheese, yo.
00:03:36Why you gotta make me feel inferior because I'm on the grill, B?
00:03:39Damn.
00:03:40Scarface is kind of a hyper guy for a pothead.
00:03:43Sorry.
00:03:44Kenny is probably doing the best out of all of us.
00:03:46He's a kindergarten teacher at some school downtown, which I know might scare a lot of parents seeing
00:03:52as high as weed head and all.
00:03:54But let me tell you, man.
00:03:55That guy does wonders for those children's self-esteem.
00:04:00Oh, I love you so much, little one.
00:04:03All of you.
00:04:04All of you are so good.
00:04:07Ryan works at a new and used record store.
00:04:10He gets to talk about music all day.
00:04:13Perfect job for a stoner.
00:04:15Lady, you're at seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record?
00:04:20I'll give you five.
00:04:22He autographed it himself.
00:04:25I'll give you four.
00:04:29Chance died.
00:04:32Now, as far as herb goes, you can get it all over this town.
00:04:35I mean, they might call it the city that never sleeps, but I'll tell you this.
00:04:39It takes a lot of fucking weed naps.
00:04:43Bye!
00:04:44You can get this stuff at little corner stores called bodegas.
00:04:48Say it with me.
00:04:51Bodegas.
00:04:51Yes, very good.
00:04:53You can tell these places because they always have incredibly old products.
00:04:56Hey, what's that, fellas?
00:04:57But the weed ain't bad.
00:04:59Let me get four dime bags.
00:05:02I don't have no idea what you're talking about.
00:05:08Jose, you crazy, man.
00:05:10You crazy.
00:05:11Come on, man.
00:05:11Let me get them dimes.
00:05:12See, the problem with bodegas is they never remember you, so you always have to do something
00:05:17extreme to let them know that it's you when you're cool.
00:05:19Hey, fellas, y'all know me.
00:05:21Come on, now.
00:05:22Look at this.
00:05:23Hey, black ass.
00:05:24Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:05:25Hey, why you didn't move us earlier, eh?
00:05:28It's a little degrading.
00:05:29If you're desperate, you can get it from the Roses at Washington Square Park, but that
00:05:34stuff ain't even weed most of the time.
00:05:36I don't fall for that shit anymore.
00:05:41Then there's a delivery service run by a guy named Samson Simpson.
00:05:45Now, when you can afford it, this is the best way.
00:05:47I mean, you can get anything you want from weed to heroin.
00:05:51Now, I don't do drugs, though.
00:05:52Just weed.
00:05:54Coming.
00:05:55See, all you have to do is call them up, and a half hour later, you got a delivery guy
00:05:59at your house.
00:06:02What a country.
00:06:06All right, you call it about your plumbing, something about empty pipes.
00:06:09Secret code.
00:06:11Come on in.
00:06:14You want highs, mediums, or lows?
00:06:17How are the highs, man?
00:06:18I say they got kind of a piney taste, almost minty.
00:06:21Notice the little red hairs?
00:06:23Yeah.
00:06:23And the rich greenery?
00:06:24I see those.
00:06:25It's definitely the highest grade hydroponics in the city.
00:06:29What, you go to weed college?
00:06:30Damn, nigga.
00:06:32All right, give me a 50 bag of that.
00:06:36It's been a pleasure.
00:06:37Pleasure's all mine.
00:06:38Tell Samson I said hello, would you?
00:06:40Sure thing.
00:06:42Now, everybody has their own little ritual when it comes to smoking.
00:06:45Help us around, fellas.
00:06:46And we were no different.
00:06:48Break out Billy Bone Thorne.
00:06:49Yeah!
00:06:50All right!
00:06:52Woo!
00:06:57Billy, good to see you, man.
00:07:04All right, lighten up.
00:07:07Shoes off.
00:07:11Oh.
00:07:12Brian, put yours back on me.
00:07:13For real, because you're sock laundry, yo.
00:07:19Gentlemen,
00:07:22assume your positions.
00:07:30Fire in the hole.
00:07:39No, that's good.
00:07:48Yo, who's our munchies tonight, yo?
00:07:50Not me.
00:07:52I guess that'd be me.
00:07:56What do you guys want?
00:07:59Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man.
00:08:07Some beef jerky, some peanut butter.
00:08:10Get some Haagen-Dazs ice cream bars.
00:08:12A whole lot of hot...
00:08:13Make sure of chocolate.
00:08:14Gotta have chocolate, man.
00:08:15Some popcorn, red popcorn.
00:08:17Graham crackers.
00:08:18Graham crackers.
00:08:19There's the marshmallows, the little marshmallows, and the little chocolate bars.
00:08:22And we'll make some s'mores, man.
00:08:23Yeah, that's what I'm saying, yo.
00:08:26Also, celery, grape jelly.
00:08:28Captain Crunch with the little crunch berries.
00:08:31Pizzas.
00:08:31We need two big pizzas, man.
00:08:34Everything on them with water.
00:08:36A whole lot of water.
00:08:38And...
00:08:41Unions.
00:08:42Man.
00:08:45That's it?
00:08:47Yeah.
00:08:48Anyone want anything else?
00:08:50Oh, yeah.
00:08:50Give me a box of condoms and, um...
00:08:54What's that stuff?
00:08:55Used to eat it all the time back in the day.
00:08:57Pussy.
00:08:58That's right.
00:08:59You got it.
00:09:00Thanks, man.
00:09:02And hey!
00:09:04If I'm not back in ten minutes, call the police.
00:09:16If he ain't back in ten minutes, we calling dominoes.
00:09:34Hey, girl.
00:09:36You hungry?
00:09:38Fuck you, nigga!
00:09:40I'm sorry, I was talking to the horse here.
00:09:44You see the trouble you're getting me into?
00:09:49You're hungry, aren't you?
00:09:51Here.
00:09:52Oh.
00:09:54You like popcorn.
00:09:56It makes your teeth go...
00:09:59Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
00:10:01This is Buster Philipson coming in on number eight.
00:10:04Like El Nino.
00:10:05Sanson gets me lifted by my main man, who?
00:10:08Sure smoke a lot.
00:10:10Ha!
00:10:11Ha!
00:10:12Ha!
00:10:12Ha!
00:10:12Ha!
00:10:13Ha!
00:10:14Ha!
00:10:16Ha!
00:10:17I got this weed crazy.
00:10:19Look at that.
00:10:19What do you want, master?
00:10:21Bitch!
00:10:22You know what I want.
00:10:23Ha!
00:10:24Ha!
00:10:24Ha!
00:10:25Ha!
00:10:25Ha!
00:10:25Ha!
00:10:25Ha!
00:10:26I want to talk to Samson.
00:10:28Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alice Kramer.
00:10:31Mm-hmm.
00:10:31Cause it's all damn black and gifted.
00:10:33Sometimes I just want to throw it all down and get left in.
00:10:37That is so cool, man.
00:10:39He got the same deal as us.
00:10:41What do you mean?
00:10:42You need some dope.
00:10:43Samson.
00:10:45Oh, right.
00:10:46I ain't even good.
00:10:47Everybody knows in my neighborhood, it's the best sex around.
00:10:51Sex and shit is blessed.
00:10:53We got the whole town on lockdown.
00:10:55I want to be a bright kid.
00:10:56Look at this horrible girl.
00:10:58Give me like this shit, please!
00:11:00I'm all out.
00:11:03I'm all out of food.
00:11:04You ate it all.
00:11:06Gee.
00:11:07You must have been so hungry.
00:11:19I need an ambulance.
00:11:21Now!
00:11:22Officer down.
00:11:23I repeat.
00:11:24Officer down.
00:11:26What the hell did you give my buttercup?
00:11:28I just gave him some candy and some chips and some pink popcorn and some funkins.
00:11:34This horse is a diabetic!
00:11:38Buttercup!
00:11:40Buttercup!
00:11:41Don't you leave me!
00:11:43Breathe, Buttercup!
00:11:45Breathe!
00:11:47Breathe!
00:11:50Breathe!
00:12:01You're under arrest.
00:12:03What?
00:12:03You dumb son of a bitch!
00:12:06No!
00:12:07I'm a peaceful man!
00:12:10I'm a school teacher!
00:12:11Shut up!
00:12:12You're a cop killer!
00:12:14Cop killer?
00:12:14I love horses!
00:12:16I love horses!
00:12:18I love horses!
00:12:19I love buttering stuff!
00:12:21Buttercup!
00:12:22Damn!
00:12:22Butternut!
00:12:23Cop!
00:12:24Cop!
00:12:25Cop!
00:12:25Cop!
00:12:25Cop!
00:12:35Why wasn't you ready?
00:12:36Stop the hate, child!
00:12:38Mail is set at one million dollars.
00:12:40The crime of killing an officer of the law.
00:12:44And may God have mercy on your soul, young man.
00:12:47Court is adjourned.
00:12:49Turn to yourself.
00:12:51Lock down.
00:12:58Night.
00:12:59Fish.
00:13:00Fish.
00:13:01Fish.
00:13:02Fish.
00:13:03Fish.
00:13:04My weed's wearing off.
00:13:06Fish.
00:13:07Fish.
00:13:08Fish.
00:13:13Get home.
00:13:15Yo.
00:13:16Psst, psst, psst.
00:13:16Get her out!
00:13:18Whoa.
00:13:19What is it, nigga?
00:13:20What time is it?
00:13:21It's 8.30, Kenan.
00:13:22Come home last night.
00:13:23We all worried, man.
00:13:25Word, yo.
00:13:26Where the hell is it?
00:13:29Did he just move?
00:13:34Kenny called.
00:13:36He's in jail.
00:13:37He didn't leave a number.
00:13:40Sincerely, the guy on the couch.
00:13:46Come on, guys.
00:13:47We gotta get Kenny out of jail, man.
00:13:49All right.
00:13:53Hey, Kenny.
00:13:54How'd he treat you in there?
00:13:56Let's just say I'm not getting the respect a cop killer deserves.
00:14:00All right.
00:14:00Time's up.
00:14:01Break off.
00:14:01Here we go.
00:14:02I was up all night getting harassed.
00:14:06Nighty, Fish.
00:14:08See what I mean?
00:14:10I think they're mistaking my kindness for weakness.
00:14:13I'm scared.
00:14:15Hey, Kenny.
00:14:17We're gonna get you out of there, man.
00:14:19All we gotta do is waste 10% of 1 million, yo.
00:14:23Which, by our calculations, is...
00:14:25It's fucking impossible, man.
00:14:27Come on.
00:14:27Dang.
00:14:28It's a million dollars.
00:14:29Sorry, man.
00:14:30I'm sorry.
00:14:31All my life, I did everything right.
00:14:34I never screwed up.
00:14:36I fed the horse.
00:14:38I didn't know I was a diabetic.
00:14:40I was scared.
00:14:42Kenny.
00:14:42Kenny, stop crying.
00:14:44Stop crying, Kenny.
00:14:45Look at me.
00:14:46Come on.
00:14:47No MCU crying there.
00:14:48Come on, man.
00:14:49Show me your mean face.
00:14:51Yes, show me a mean face, Kenny.
00:14:57That's good.
00:14:58I mean, you know, work on it a little bit, but...
00:15:01Yeah, it's good.
00:15:04Kenny, how long can you make it in here?
00:15:06I don't know.
00:15:07Maybe 5?
00:15:106.30?
00:15:14Come on, man.
00:15:15This gotta be a little longer than that.
00:15:17But, but?
00:15:18But we'll get you out, right, guys?
00:15:20Yeah, you're out, man.
00:15:22You're out of here.
00:15:23Bring it up, buddy.
00:15:24Number 9.
00:15:25Time's up.
00:15:27Time's up, number 9.
00:15:28It's me.
00:15:31Let's go.
00:15:35I love you guys.
00:15:38Have fun, Ken.
00:15:40Weird at the yoke.
00:15:42You look all right, man.
00:15:44They're gonna kill him in there, yoke.
00:15:47Hey, lady.
00:15:49Miss, is this your purse?
00:15:51Yes.
00:15:51I'm sexy.
00:15:54I'm a scholar.
00:15:56People like me.
00:15:58Give it to me.
00:16:00Bye.
00:16:01Hey, where you going?
00:16:03I'm leaving.
00:16:05Well, uh, can I leave with you?
00:16:07Follow me.
00:16:11And your name is?
00:16:13Mary Jane.
00:16:15Real?
00:16:16Yes.
00:16:18So what's up with this?
00:16:19So your work uniform?
00:16:21Nah, this is my costume.
00:16:23You know, uh, tomorrow I'll be a cop, the day after that I'll be an Indian.
00:16:26Every day of the week I dress up like a different village person.
00:16:29It's a thing I'm into.
00:16:32Now I'm a custodian.
00:16:34So, uh, what are you here for?
00:16:36Possession of narcotics.
00:16:39Wow.
00:16:39My father's a drug dealer.
00:16:41Wow, that must have been the shit.
00:16:43I ruined his life.
00:16:45That must have been shitty.
00:16:47I don't do drugs.
00:16:49Drugs make me sick.
00:16:50They're bad for your body.
00:16:51Up with hope, down with dope.
00:16:53There again, come on, man.
00:16:55We gotta go.
00:16:56Get on the train, toke up before we go to work.
00:16:59Well, yo, let's go, B.
00:17:02What are you doing, man?
00:17:04Bouncy.
00:17:05Body.
00:17:06Is that Pril?
00:17:07He used Pril?
00:17:08That's what I'm talking about.
00:17:11Let's go, man.
00:17:13Hey, guys.
00:17:15Meet Mary Jane.
00:17:16Yeah, that's what he said.
00:17:17Yo, we want a brown one, B.
00:17:19No.
00:17:21This is Mary Jane.
00:17:22Meet her.
00:17:23Say hello to her.
00:17:25Shake her hand, even.
00:17:26Oh, dear, my father.
00:17:27What's up, baby?
00:17:27Hi.
00:17:29All right.
00:17:30Hey, listen.
00:17:32Do you guys need a ride?
00:17:33I have a car.
00:17:34You don't have to take the subway.
00:17:36Oh, you smoke?
00:17:39No, my grandmother died of lung cancer.
00:17:42I'm sorry to hear that.
00:17:44Well, that's all the more reason to toke up, man.
00:17:47Ease the pain.
00:17:48Ah!
00:17:49That's what I'm talking about.
00:17:52You know, I think what they're really trying to say is that we love a ride home.
00:17:57Great.
00:17:59What the hell's wrong with y'all?
00:18:01She look good, yo.
00:18:02Mary Jane, what is that about, man?
00:18:05I hate y'all.
00:18:06Shotgun!
00:18:11Hey, thanks for this ride.
00:18:12We really appreciate it.
00:18:13Sure.
00:18:16Hey, guys.
00:18:17Just shut up about the weed for two seconds, all right?
00:18:19I don't want this girl to know I smoke.
00:18:20Yeah, it's bad enough you a janitor, yo.
00:18:23Custodian, dick.
00:18:28Hey.
00:18:29Hey.
00:18:50It's good for you?
00:18:52Did you drop me in the lobby?
00:18:55It's perfect.
00:18:56I feel she wanted me to say something.
00:18:58I had to make my move while the guys were asleep.
00:19:01I'm real bad at this kind of thing, but you think sometime we could get together, maybe
00:19:05go out for some ice cream or something?
00:19:07I don't know.
00:19:08Oh, man!
00:19:10Motherfucker said ice cream, man!
00:19:11Oh, my God!
00:19:13It's your ice cream!
00:19:14Ice cream!
00:19:15Hey!
00:19:16All the boys in the car need to get out!
00:19:19It's a door, baby!
00:19:20Now!
00:19:20Thanks a lot, brother.
00:19:21Talking to you!
00:19:23Thanks for the ride.
00:19:25Zurgut!
00:19:26I knew it!
00:19:27You forgot your hat.
00:19:29I knew it!
00:19:31You know, I might have came on too strong with the whole ice cream thing.
00:19:36Let me just give you my number.
00:19:37Is that cool?
00:19:38Okay.
00:19:39All right.
00:19:40Now, don't call too late.
00:19:41You know, I'll be stripping in the evenings.
00:19:43Joking!
00:19:46Here you go.
00:19:47You can call me anytime you want.
00:19:49Maybe.
00:19:51Maybe.
00:19:51Maybe is an acceptable answer.
00:19:53It's that no thing that gets me.
00:19:55Maybe I'll hear from you.
00:19:56Bye.
00:19:57What do you think about you?
00:20:08Janitor?
00:20:10Janitor?
00:20:11Ah!
00:20:13Sorry about that.
00:20:14What is it, scientist?
00:20:15Could you?
00:20:16Uh, I know this isn't your responsibility, but, uh, would you be a dear and run this down
00:20:21to the supply department for me?
00:20:23It's on the second floor.
00:20:24Just run this down?
00:20:25Uh, yes.
00:20:26But make sure you bring the order right back to me.
00:20:29I need it.
00:20:30A-S-A-P.
00:20:31Gotcha.
00:20:32Hey, I know this isn't your responsibility, but just mop the rest of this shit up.
00:20:36I'll be right back.
00:20:39It smells like, uh, it smells like, uh, it smells like, uh, it smells weird.
00:20:49Hey, here you go.
00:20:53That's all you need?
00:20:55I guess.
00:20:56I don't know.
00:20:58Just a second.
00:20:59Okay.
00:21:00Hey.
00:21:03If someone's having a party, or somebody's got to do their shirt laundry.
00:21:09Here you go.
00:21:10One pound of marijuana, and you can sign for it right here.
00:21:17I-I signed for this, and it's mine.
00:21:21Take it.
00:21:27Oh, yeah.
00:21:34Thank you very much.
00:21:37Some good shit?
00:21:40Oh, thank you.
00:21:48Here's, sir.
00:21:50Here's, uh, a little something for your troubles.
00:21:56Shh.
00:21:58Let's, uh, not tell anyone about it.
00:22:00Sure.
00:22:05Hey.
00:22:06Why didn't you tell me we're into this shit, man?
00:22:08We could have been hanging out months ago.
00:22:09Ah, ah, no, no, no, no.
00:22:11The, uh, Food and Drug Administration are having us to, uh, study to determine what, uh,
00:22:16if any, are the, uh, medicinal purposes of, uh, marijuana.
00:22:20Mm, wow.
00:22:22Well, if you ever need a guinea pig, let me know, you know.
00:22:25My grandfather was in the Tuskegee experiments.
00:22:28Oh, really?
00:22:30Huh.
00:22:30Yes.
00:22:31Anyway, uh, thank you, janitor, and enjoy.
00:22:34Thank you, scientist.
00:22:36Got any papers?
00:22:37Ah!
00:22:38Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:22:40No cocktail party would be complete without the ice plout.
00:22:44Hey, fellas.
00:22:46What's going on?
00:22:47What's up?
00:22:48Nothing, man.
00:22:49Just bumming thinking about Kenny.
00:22:52Yeah.
00:22:54You know, I got some weed at work today.
00:22:57You all want to try it out?
00:22:58Nah, yo, we don't feel like smoking right now.
00:23:01Me neither.
00:23:03Me neither.
00:23:14So you all want to smoke?
00:23:15I'll get Billy Bong Thornton.
00:23:16That's what I'm talking about.
00:23:17No, Scarface, no Billy Bong Thornton without Kenny.
00:23:21That would not be right, man.
00:23:23Use Wesley Pipes.
00:23:25Yeah.
00:23:31Man, they got a whole bunch of this stuff to work.
00:23:34One of them scientists gave it to me.
00:23:36I ain't trashed it out yet, but...
00:23:39Smells like the bomb.
00:23:41All right.
00:23:42Yeah, man, yeah.
00:23:45I'll do the honors.
00:23:46Please do.
00:23:47Thanks, man.
00:24:03Yo, this shit must be good, B.
00:24:05My man didn't cough like that since back in the day, yo.
00:24:15You sure I should do this, man?
00:24:20Oh, yeah.
00:24:21That shit big my head, huh?
00:24:23Oh, man.
00:24:27Pass it his way.
00:24:29Don't break the cipher.
00:24:31Oh, hold on.
00:24:32I got to get the guy some of this.
00:24:34The guy got to taste this.
00:24:35Yeah.
00:24:36Yeah.
00:24:37Hey, guy.
00:24:39Hey, man.
00:24:41Sorry to wake you, but you got to try this.
00:24:54Take it in slow, man.
00:24:58Hey, who's more munchies tonight?
00:25:00We should make that lazy bitch the guy go, yo.
00:25:03For real?
00:25:04I don't know about y'all, but I can't even move.
00:25:08For real, B, right?
00:25:10It's like I feel stuck here, yo.
00:25:13I'm glued to the floor.
00:25:34Just feel like you're floating?
00:25:37Yeah.
00:25:38Yeah.
00:25:56I don't need to tell you this, but this weed was the shiz-
00:26:00Niddle Bams Snips Napsack.
00:26:05Oh, man.
00:26:07Wow, look at that, man.
00:26:08Hey, guys.
00:26:10Let's go check in on Kenny, huh?
00:26:17You're a fish.
00:26:19You're a man.
00:26:21You're not a fish.
00:26:23You're a man.
00:26:29Where did that come from?
00:26:31You really got to get this guy out of jail.
00:26:34You walk around on both legs.
00:26:38Homo erectus.
00:26:40Did I say homo?
00:26:43I didn't mean that.
00:26:45They're good.
00:26:47They're good.
00:26:48They're good.
00:26:51I got it.
00:26:52I got it.
00:26:53I know how we could get Kenny out.
00:26:55Oh, weed, man.
00:26:57We'll sell weed.
00:26:59Oh, man.
00:27:00You can't up and decide to sell weed.
00:27:02You got to know people to plug you into that kind of thing.
00:27:05I do.
00:27:06Who do you know?
00:27:07You, yo.
00:27:08Me?
00:27:10What, man?
00:27:10You think I can just walk in and take this shit?
00:27:12I got to get a form from a scientist.
00:27:15Well, how hard can it be, man?
00:27:16There's got to be forms laying around.
00:27:19I mean, they are scientists.
00:27:22What the fuck are you talking about, man?
00:27:25Look, I'm not stealing weed.
00:27:28We are not selling weed.
00:27:30We are three reasonably bright young men.
00:27:34Fully, man.
00:27:35There has got to be a legitimate way to come up with this money.
00:27:40We just got to think.
00:27:41That's all that is.
00:27:44Mm-hmm.
00:27:50Mm-hmm.
00:27:53Mm-hmm.
00:27:56Mm-hmm.
00:27:59Wait.
00:28:00Wait, I think I got an idea.
00:28:02Why don't we sell that shit we smoked the other night, yo?
00:28:06Yeah.
00:28:07You suggested that already.
00:28:09For real, B?
00:28:12Marijuana affects the memory.
00:28:14It won't take us hardly any time, B.
00:28:17Too risky, man.
00:28:19Stop being such a wussy, yo.
00:28:21What other choice do we have, right?
00:28:24Okay, fine.
00:28:25Fine, we'll do it.
00:28:27Yeah.
00:28:28We're going to do it until Kenny's out, and we're done.
00:28:31We're not drug dealers.
00:28:33We're fundraisers.
00:28:35Of course, B.
00:28:36Fully, man.
00:28:38Okay.
00:28:41Scarface...
00:28:42Lay it on me, brother.
00:28:44Check it out, yo.
00:28:45It's like this.
00:28:47Scarface's plan wasn't that bad.
00:28:50Hey, good night, Mike.
00:28:51See you tomorrow.
00:28:52Good.
00:28:55See, all I had to do was get some forms from that scientist that kept calling me janitor,
00:29:00forge one of the forms, and put the order in like I did before.
00:29:05Then we scraped together what little money we had and bought bikes to help us move the product.
00:29:11Then stapled samples of our weed on the back of our business cards.
00:29:15Now, we called the company Mr. Nice Guy in honor of our friend Kenny.
00:29:20Hey, uh, you guys believe in angels, or...?
00:29:24Man, give me your fruit cocktail.
00:29:29Well, I can't.
00:29:31If I did that, then I'd have to give it to you every day, and I won't get all my
00:29:36vitamins.
00:29:37Do you know who you're dealing with?
00:29:38Chill, nasty, Nate.
00:29:40It's my bitch.
00:29:42Anybody gonna stab, it's gonna be me.
00:29:44You got a problem with that?
00:29:50You better watch your back, Fish, because Squirt Master ain't gonna be there for you all the time.
00:29:55Because next time I come for you, I'm gonna want some cocktail.
00:29:59Fruit!
00:30:01Take it.
00:30:06I'm somebody's bitch.
00:30:13You guys gotta do something.
00:30:14There's this guy, Nasty Nate, who's after my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish,
00:30:19and then the Squirt Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch, and...
00:30:23Help!
00:30:24Ken, listen, man, we got a plan.
00:30:27What is it?
00:30:28Not the most honest plan, all right?
00:30:30You might not like it.
00:30:32We're gonna sell weed, yo?
00:30:34Yeah, great, weed.
00:30:35Good, go!
00:30:37Go!
00:30:38Go!
00:30:39No more wind, no love!
00:30:41Go, Stella!
00:30:42We figured the best way to spread the word was to hit the streets.
00:30:46And hit the streets.
00:30:47We did.
00:30:49How y'all talking about marriage?
00:30:51Y'all don't know about marriage, man.
00:30:54I do, because she's my friend, man.
00:30:56Don't listen to what they say, man.
00:30:58Married that because you're married.
00:30:59Married, married, married.
00:31:00Necessary extra work.
00:31:02Married, me and married.
00:31:03Two of them watch away.
00:31:04Just for this first week, Lipson.
00:31:06I've been talking about this.
00:31:08Three for dinner.
00:31:10Wow.
00:31:11Okay, let's get back to it.
00:31:13Mr. Lifestyle has arrived, baby.
00:31:17His own.
00:31:18All right.
00:31:21Oh, yes.
00:31:25Look at all these people, man.
00:31:28All right, guys.
00:31:29Be quick.
00:31:29Let's just do this and get out of here.
00:31:31I love that.
00:31:32You know, let's go.
00:31:32Let's go, man.
00:31:33It's money.
00:31:48All right.
00:31:49How'd you guys make out?
00:31:50Good.
00:31:50I'm glad y'all mine the cars, B.
00:31:52Oh, me too.
00:31:53That would make three of us.
00:31:56All right.
00:31:56We did our part, right?
00:31:59Just hope they smoke it.
00:32:00All right.
00:32:05All right.
00:32:05Love me, Mary Jane.
00:32:07What y'all know about Mary Jane?
00:32:10How y'all feel about Mary Jane?
00:32:12She's my baby.
00:32:15What y'all know about Mary Jane?
00:32:17Damn!
00:32:17What are you doing?
00:32:19You're right.
00:32:20All right.
00:32:20Y'all know about Mary Jane.
00:32:23She's back my heart.
00:32:40Mr. Nice Guy.
00:32:42Oh, I may have the wrong number.
00:32:44Um, is Thurgood around?
00:32:47Speaking.
00:32:49Oh, hey, hey, it's Mary Jane.
00:32:51Do you remember I gave you a ride home from prison?
00:32:54Well, could you be a little more specific?
00:32:56I get so many rides home from prison.
00:32:59That was a joke.
00:33:00Oh.
00:33:02What happened? I didn't think you were going to call me.
00:33:05Well, I wasn't, but then I decided I don't care what my friends think.
00:33:10See, that was a joke.
00:33:11Oh.
00:33:12Yeah, it was a joke.
00:33:13My buddy.
00:33:14So, uh, you want to get together?
00:33:17Okay, sure.
00:33:19Uh, when?
00:33:21How about right now?
00:33:22Just, uh, meet me at the place where you dropped us off at.
00:33:25Okay, um, can you give me half an hour?
00:33:29Yeah, half an hour is cool.
00:33:30Great.
00:33:31All right.
00:33:31I'll see you there.
00:33:32Okay.
00:33:34Bye.
00:33:36Bye-bye.
00:33:37Bye-bye.
00:33:45I've got a date with Mary Jane.
00:33:48Were you?
00:33:49Yes!
00:33:50All right, man.
00:33:52Y'all got money?
00:33:54The date couldn't have come at a worse time, man.
00:33:57I was flat broke.
00:33:59All my money was tied up in our drug dealing venture.
00:34:02I only had eight bucks.
00:34:04This was going to take some careful budgeting and maneuvering.
00:34:07Bye.
00:34:08Watch the master at work.
00:34:10You look great.
00:34:11You look wonderful.
00:34:13You know what?
00:34:14I was thinking it's so nice out.
00:34:17Want to go for a walk?
00:34:19Yeah, sure.
00:34:20You can go for a walk.
00:34:22Good.
00:34:22Good lets.
00:34:23So far, so good.
00:34:26Three hours and 14 miles later and I hadn't spent one penny.
00:34:31Damn, I was good.
00:34:33I mean it.
00:34:34And then it happened.
00:34:35I'm hungry, too.
00:34:37Hey, you want to eat at the Happy Palace?
00:34:39Uh, how about a hot dog?
00:34:41Huh?
00:34:42Hey, what's up?
00:34:43What's a hot dog?
00:34:44Yeah.
00:34:44Hey, what's going to get you?
00:34:46Can I have a hot dog with ketchup and sauerkraut, please?
00:34:50Sauerkraut's 50 cents extra.
00:34:52Damn!
00:34:52I have not had a hot dog in so long.
00:34:56Come on, let's get out of here.
00:34:57Anything to drink with that?
00:34:59Son of a bitch!
00:35:00Yes.
00:35:00Can I have a Pepsi, please?
00:35:02Anything for you, sir?
00:35:04No, I'm fine.
00:35:06Greedy bastard.
00:35:07Didn't you promise me ice cream the other day?
00:35:09I know a really good place uptown.
00:35:13Great, let's hook it.
00:35:14Um, do you mind if we take a cab this time?
00:35:19Sure.
00:35:27Thanks a lot, buddy.
00:35:28Just be happy with the tip I gave you, dang.
00:35:31You should be kissing my ass.
00:35:33You guys are green.
00:35:34That's ice cream in town.
00:35:36Better thank you some food.
00:35:38Oh.
00:35:40Don't mind if I do.
00:35:42Thank you, young brother.
00:35:43No.
00:35:49Yeah, I mean, I do miss my dad, but he deserves to be where he is.
00:35:57Drug dealers belong in jail.
00:36:00Yeah.
00:36:01Yeah, wow.
00:36:03Yeah.
00:36:04Um, how long have you been in there?
00:36:06Four years, next month.
00:36:08Four years?
00:36:09And what exactly was he selling?
00:36:12Marijuana.
00:36:13Four years, just for weed?
00:36:15Damn.
00:36:16Just?
00:36:17No, no, no, no.
00:36:18Not just.
00:36:19Marijuana is terrible.
00:36:20It's a gateway drug.
00:36:22I mean, everybody knows that it leads to other stuff.
00:36:24Yeah, mostly junk food.
00:36:29You don't smoke weed, do you?
00:36:32Come on, Mary Jane.
00:36:33I mean, do I look like somebody that would smoke marijuana?
00:36:39So you swear you don't?
00:36:42Yeah, sure.
00:36:44Okay.
00:36:45Well, swear on this banana split that you don't do marijuana.
00:36:49What?
00:36:50Oh, my God.
00:36:52Do you swear?
00:36:55Yes, Mary Jane.
00:36:57I swear that you got pretty eyes.
00:37:01That's good.
00:37:05That's real good.
00:37:07I got some booty, I got some booty, I got some booty.
00:37:12You know, it was really good, too.
00:37:14She was a giver, a caring nurturer.
00:37:17She held me in her arms, and it was like I was 15 years old all over again.
00:37:21I was hooked on Mary Jane.
00:37:25The next morning, the phones blew up like we were having a fucking telethon, man.
00:37:29Everybody in New York was calling to get down with Mr. Nice Guy.
00:37:33We met all kinds of customers, like this guy here.
00:37:36He's what we call an enhancement smoker,
00:37:38because he thinks that marijuana makes every activity that much better.
00:37:42Mi casa su casa.
00:37:44Observe.
00:37:45You're Scarface, right?
00:37:46Yeah.
00:37:47I love Al Pacino, man.
00:37:49Did you ever see The Scent of a Woman?
00:37:51Yup.
00:37:53Have you ever seen The Scent of a Woman on weed?
00:37:59That's the way to see it, man!
00:38:01It's just black!
00:38:0560 bucks, yo.
00:38:07That's cool, man.
00:38:09I got it, I got it.
00:38:13Did you ever see the back of a $20 bill, man?
00:38:17Nah, I don't know, yo.
00:38:18Did you ever see the back of a $20 bill?
00:38:21On weed?
00:38:22Oh, there's some weird shit in there, man.
00:38:24There's a dude sitting in the bushes, man.
00:38:26Does he have a gun?
00:38:27I don't know, man!
00:38:28I don't know!
00:38:28What?
00:38:29What?
00:38:29Red Team Go!
00:38:30Red Team Go!
00:38:32Just some weird shit, man!
00:38:33Man, you're fucking crazy, yo.
00:38:35You're taking shit, man.
00:38:36Nah, it's cool.
00:38:37Thanks, man.
00:38:38Hey, yo, wait.
00:38:38Dude, I'm gonna check out the stars later.
00:38:41It's really trippy.
00:38:43Especially on weed, man.
00:38:46A scavenger smoker is someone who never has weed of their own.
00:38:49But as soon as you smoking, here they come.
00:38:52Damn!
00:38:53What up, dog?
00:38:54Damn!
00:38:55What's up, dogs?
00:38:56Good off.
00:38:56Let me get in here, man.
00:38:57What y'all doing?
00:38:58Nothing.
00:38:59Nothing.
00:39:00Yeah, it's chilling.
00:39:01I smell it.
00:39:02Let me inhale it.
00:39:02Let me hear something.
00:39:04All right, man.
00:39:05This one hit you.
00:39:07Scavenger.
00:39:08Always cool, man.
00:39:17Smoke weed in peace.
00:39:18Man.
00:39:21I ain't even hit the motherfucker yet.
00:39:22Back up, man.
00:39:23You know we sell this.
00:39:24I don't know if you knew that.
00:39:27It's too bad, man.
00:39:28I just stopped smoking yesterday.
00:39:35I'm going to get up out of here, man.
00:39:36Y'all stay up, man.
00:39:38Nice seeing y'all.
00:39:39Man.
00:39:42Then there's the you should have been there, smoker.
00:39:44They love talking about the old days, back when weed was grass.
00:39:48Hell, back in the 60s when I was smoking shit on the street.
00:39:51Cops didn't say nothing.
00:39:52Hell, it's getting high, too.
00:39:53Everybody was good.
00:39:55Oh.
00:39:55It wasn't a thing to do because it was a thing to do, you know?
00:39:57It was a thing to do because it got you high.
00:40:00Can you do it?
00:40:00I feel you.
00:40:01Now, that's what I'm doing.
00:40:02I feel it.
00:40:04Man, you're cool as shit, mister.
00:40:07I hate to do it, but I got to charge you.
00:40:09That's 60 bucks.
00:40:1160 bucks?
00:40:12Yeah.
00:40:14Man, I remember when a dime bag cost a dime.
00:40:16You know what I mean?
00:40:19You know how much condoms used to cost back in them days?
00:40:22How much?
00:40:23I don't know.
00:40:24We never used them.
00:40:26We call this kid the after-school special smoker.
00:40:29He spends all of his allowance on reefer.
00:40:31So, thanks, little buddy.
00:40:34Now, in the next room is father, and I'm 40, but I'm still cool smokers,
00:40:38toking up, trying to figure out a way to bond with his son.
00:40:42Isn't that ironic?
00:40:44Don't you think?
00:40:46Of course, across town, the kids' nanas smoking up, trying to ease her glaucoma.
00:40:50And it's good for arthritis, too.
00:40:53We made over 20 grand that first week, man.
00:40:56And because we were stealing the weed and not buying it, it was all profit.
00:41:00But, if we were gonna save Kenny, we had to deliver full-time.
00:41:05Scarface quit his job.
00:41:07Still waiting on that heifer, Julio.
00:41:12Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
00:41:16You're cool.
00:41:18And fuck you, I'm out.
00:41:23Brian was gonna quit, but they fired him before he could.
00:41:35Don't worry.
00:41:37Don't worry.
00:41:39I'm not gonna do what everyone thinks I'm gonna do.
00:41:43And without, man.
00:41:47All I want to know is who's comin' with me.
00:41:54Who's comin', man?
00:41:56Who's comin' with me?
00:41:59Huh?
00:42:00Who's comin' with me, man?
00:42:04I will.
00:42:06Jan.
00:42:08Thank you, Jan.
00:42:12Yeah.
00:42:13Yeah.
00:42:14That's what I'm talkin' about.
00:42:17Fully, man.
00:42:19Yeah.
00:42:20Um, Jan.
00:42:28You'd be my girlfriend.
00:42:30I would.
00:42:32Um, but I'm gay, you know.
00:42:34Oh.
00:42:35I'm a big dyke.
00:42:37What's that like?
00:42:39Thank you for calling.
00:42:40Thank you very much.
00:42:40Okay, bye-bye.
00:42:41We had to hire that girl, Jan,
00:42:43because she followed Brian.
00:42:44But you know what actually worked out?
00:42:46Mr. Nice Guy?
00:42:46She was a lot more organized than we were.
00:42:49And she was willing to work for weed.
00:42:50All right, then.
00:42:54Mr. Nice Guy was blowin' up.
00:42:55Man, we got customers from all over New York.
00:42:58No, not that too.
00:42:59We even stole a few from Samson.
00:43:00Oh, what's up, nigga?
00:43:02Come on in, Mike.
00:43:02Come on, weed, Mike.
00:43:05Thanks, baby.
00:43:07Get on.
00:43:07Be the dog, you're scaring.
00:43:10Yeah.
00:43:11Hey, sir.
00:43:12Smoke a lot.
00:43:13What can I get you today, smoke a lot?
00:43:15Love weed.
00:43:16Um, let me get a pound of your Swedish Cheebok.
00:43:19Damn.
00:43:20Yeah, some told me to bring a lot of weed, man.
00:43:23That's fine.
00:43:23Yeah.
00:43:25A pound of my Swedish Cheeba.
00:43:27Don't get no better than that.
00:43:29Smash me the bag, baby.
00:43:31That's gonna be 9,600 bucks, bro.
00:43:33See what I got here.
00:43:38Come on, man.
00:43:39Hang out for a minute and smoke with me.
00:43:41I got weed, got my bong out.
00:43:43Come on, son.
00:43:44For you, man, I'll stay for a minute.
00:43:47But then I gotta be, gotta be going.
00:43:51I understand.
00:43:53And smoke a lot opened up to me like I was Barbara Walters.
00:43:57It was ridiculous.
00:43:58He told me about his lawyer.
00:44:00He had sex with my mama.
00:44:02Why?
00:44:03His spirituality.
00:44:04God, if you listen, help.
00:44:07His bad back.
00:44:08Doctor said I need a back of the enemy.
00:44:09His love life.
00:44:11I'm impotent, man.
00:44:13Get away with me, bitch.
00:44:14I mean, talk about a guy with problems.
00:44:16Tough break.
00:44:17I can't take it no more.
00:44:19No wonder he smoked a pound a week.
00:44:21Somebody won.
00:44:22So now he had a famous clientele and...
00:44:25Green eyes gonna miss ya.
00:44:27And guess what else?
00:44:28You can call me next week.
00:44:29About weed.
00:44:30About weed.
00:44:31I got more booty.
00:44:33I got more booty.
00:44:35I don't mean to rub it in, folks, but it's just that...
00:44:38You know, I liked her so much, man.
00:44:39When I was with her, I didn't even think about weed.
00:44:43Didn't have to.
00:44:44Bye.
00:44:45She was all the Mary Jane I needed.
00:44:48Uh!
00:44:48I was just, I never needed any one.
00:44:54I bet your love was just goodbye.
00:44:59Those days of God.
00:45:04All by myself.
00:45:08All by myself.
00:45:10All by myself.
00:45:24What did I tell you, Nate?
00:45:26Huh?
00:45:26Come on.
00:45:27Come on.
00:45:30Come on.
00:45:31Come on, Nate.
00:45:33We had to stay vigilant.
00:45:35Wash off your hate.
00:45:36Kenny's butthole was in constant jeopardy.
00:45:39But we were making money.
00:45:41Hey, what's up, Nate?
00:45:42What's up, man?
00:45:42All right?
00:45:43What's up, boy?
00:45:45What's up, dude?
00:45:45Now that's chilling.
00:45:47Hey, guys.
00:45:49Why is there a dog biting the guy?
00:45:51Oh, because I bought a dog, me.
00:45:54Bought a dog?
00:45:55For how much?
00:45:56Oh, it's cool, yo.
00:45:57He's used.
00:45:58Including the house that was only $250, yo.
00:46:01You spent $250 on a used dog?
00:46:05And a dog house, yo.
00:46:06Brian bought something, too.
00:46:07For $400, I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man.
00:46:12Who the hell told you that?
00:46:14The guy who sold it to me.
00:46:15Barry Garcia.
00:46:16And what's he supposed to be?
00:46:18Jerry Garcia's brother?
00:46:19No.
00:46:20Actually, it's Andy Garcia's brother.
00:46:23Why the hell are you guys spending money, man?
00:46:26We're not drug dealers, remember?
00:46:28We're fundraisers.
00:46:29Well, you said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace.
00:46:33How much did that cost, man?
00:46:35Ah.
00:46:36You know, obviously, you missed the point of that story, Brian.
00:46:39Come on, guys.
00:46:40Return this shit.
00:46:41We can't, yo.
00:46:42Well, then why am I telling Mary Jane that I don't have any money?
00:46:44Because you're a fibber.
00:46:46No, because we don't have any money.
00:46:50The money we do have is not for spending.
00:46:52It's for saving.
00:46:53Kenny's sweet virgin ass, man.
00:46:56If you guys spend one more time, I swear I will bitch slap you.
00:47:02Give me that.
00:47:06Sorry for yelling.
00:47:08But I'm serious.
00:47:10We got to stop being more responsible and focused, all right?
00:47:15Just be sharp.
00:47:17Scar face, you darling.
00:47:19You need it, man.
00:47:20I know, right?
00:47:22Somebody got to do something about this shit right now.
00:47:26Oh, hey, buddy.
00:47:28Hey, little fella.
00:47:29Hey, smell it.
00:47:30Hey, smell it.
00:47:31Okay.
00:47:32All right.
00:47:35Good boy.
00:47:36Hi.
00:47:37He likes it.
00:47:39He loves it, man.
00:47:40Of course he loves it.
00:47:42Yeah, you're palsy tingling, aren't they?
00:47:45Now you're one of us.
00:47:47All right.
00:47:49Forget it, killer.
00:47:51He likes it, yo.
00:47:54Yeah, man.
00:47:55He really likes it.
00:47:57Look at him, man.
00:47:58Good for you, man.
00:47:59Man, what did you guys do to him, yo?
00:48:01Nothing, man.
00:48:02Yo, killer, kill.
00:48:04Killer, kill, yo.
00:48:13This weed is fantastic.
00:48:21We kept plugging away with the weed deliveries,
00:48:23and we kept meeting different kinds of smokers,
00:48:26like this lady.
00:48:27She's an I'm only creative if I smoke smoker.
00:48:29She believes weed, and only weed,
00:48:32brings out the artist in her.
00:48:35Would you like to hear some of my poetry?
00:48:37Not really.
00:48:38You really should.
00:48:41I have killed.
00:48:43I have helped kill.
00:48:45I have killed part of myself.
00:48:48I cannot change this.
00:48:50I...
00:48:50I must seek Buddha.
00:48:53I must seek Christ.
00:48:57You must seek therapy.
00:48:59That's where I would go with that.
00:49:00But that's my own.
00:49:02The MacGyver smoker's a very handy guy to have around.
00:49:05Especially when it comes to refund.
00:49:09Hey, man, we're out of papers.
00:49:11All right, then get me a toilet paper roll,
00:49:13a corkscrew, and some tinfoil.
00:49:15We don't have a corkscrew.
00:49:18All right, then get me an avocado,
00:49:20an ice pick, and my snorkel.
00:49:22Trust me, bro, I've made barns with less.
00:49:25Hurry up.
00:49:26And then you got your straight-up potheads.
00:49:28You can spot these people by their lack of motivation,
00:49:31mood swings, forgetfulness,
00:49:33and, of course, the dreaded low sperm count.
00:49:36I don't know which one of these categories we fall into,
00:49:39but I'll tell you this.
00:49:41We ain't no goddamn potheads.
00:49:43Hmm.
00:49:45Shit.
00:49:47Then you have the avid non-smoker.
00:49:50A lot of times they'll get your number accidentally
00:49:52from one of their girlfriends,
00:49:53call up and place an order
00:49:55knowing they don't smoke weed,
00:49:56and request that you personally deliver it.
00:49:59Then when you get there,
00:50:00they're all mad that it's you selling weed.
00:50:04You smoke weed?
00:50:06At last, we can share everything.
00:50:08Get off me, you lying son of a bitch.
00:50:11What is this?
00:50:13It looks like some sort of a business card.
00:50:15Yeah, with your number on it.
00:50:17You know, I can't believe this.
00:50:19I can't believe that I fell
00:50:20for another one of you low-life assholes again.
00:50:23God, what is wrong with me?
00:50:25Hey, hey, Mary Jane,
00:50:27I can explain everything, all right?
00:50:29Goodbye, sir.
00:50:30Wait, hold up.
00:50:31Hey, Mary Jane.
00:50:33Mary Jane, look,
00:50:34the only reason I lied to you
00:50:36is because I like you,
00:50:37and I wanted to be with you.
00:50:40Mary Jane.
00:50:42Mary Jane.
00:50:54Night rider.
00:50:56A shadowy flight
00:50:57into the dangerous world
00:50:58of a man
00:50:59who does not exist.
00:51:04Very good.
00:51:05Why the long face, man?
00:51:08Mary Jane dubbed me.
00:51:09Shh, quiet down, yo.
00:51:11It's just smoking us on TV, yo.
00:51:12I see so.
00:51:13When life is hard,
00:51:15I pick up that card
00:51:16with a smiley face.
00:51:18Call them over to my place.
00:51:19Oh, dear.
00:51:20You're a little girl.
00:51:22No, no, no, no.
00:51:23No, no, no, no.
00:51:24For a second.
00:51:25I'm going to get you high.
00:51:27And that's pretty much
00:51:28when things started going wrong.
00:51:30Samson,
00:51:31looks like somebody's
00:51:33coming into your business, baby.
00:51:35Nice guy.
00:51:36Who?
00:51:36Mr. Nice guy.
00:51:37Do you like what you see, Samson?
00:51:39Do I look like
00:51:40I like what I see?
00:51:41Nice guy.
00:51:43Who is this Mr. Nice guy?
00:51:45I would imagine
00:51:46he's some sort of drug dealer.
00:51:48Go get me this Mr. Nice guy.
00:51:50I'll sit him down
00:51:51and ask him some questions.
00:51:58Hey, squirrel master.
00:52:00Okay.
00:52:02Listen,
00:52:03I just wanted to say
00:52:05thank you for
00:52:06protecting me back there.
00:52:08Hey, we didn't mind,
00:52:09huh, did we, Fuzzy Knuck?
00:52:11Hey, I hope
00:52:12there's some way
00:52:13I can pay you back
00:52:14when we get on the outside,
00:52:15you know?
00:52:16You better hurry up
00:52:17because I get out
00:52:18in 11 days.
00:52:19Is that right?
00:52:20Come on,
00:52:21just move it.
00:52:24Kenny,
00:52:2711 days?
00:52:28That seems a little stiff, man.
00:52:3011 days, Thurgood.
00:52:32I'm as good as skewer.
00:52:34You ever take your clothes off
00:52:35and run backwards
00:52:36to a cornfield?
00:52:38Oof.
00:52:39Hurry, Thurgood.
00:52:40I'm counting on you, man.
00:52:41Please.
00:52:42Please!
00:52:4411 days
00:52:44wasn't going to give us much time.
00:52:46You really had to hustle.
00:52:47And that meant
00:52:48taking on new customers.
00:53:07I've been set up.
00:53:12We'll get back to that
00:53:13in a second.
00:53:14But meanwhile,
00:53:15I hadn't seen Mary Jane
00:53:16in like a week.
00:53:17I couldn't stop
00:53:18thinking about her, man.
00:53:19I missed her.
00:53:21Then I started thinking
00:53:22about the fact
00:53:22that she was the only girl
00:53:23I slept with in five years.
00:53:26Then I started thinking
00:53:27about the girl
00:53:27I slept with
00:53:28before Mary Jane.
00:53:31I had to get Mary Jane back.
00:53:36What do you want?
00:53:38I want you back, Mary Jane.
00:53:41I miss you.
00:53:43I'll do whatever it takes
00:53:45to get you back.
00:53:47I can't quit selling it yet,
00:53:48but I'll quit smoking it.
00:53:49If that's what you want,
00:53:51then I'll change for you.
00:53:53Heard that before.
00:53:54Said that before.
00:53:56But this time,
00:53:57I mean it.
00:53:58I'm going to come back here.
00:53:59I'm going to be clean.
00:54:01I'm going to be sober.
00:54:02There's no more weed.
00:54:03No more nothing.
00:54:04Mary Jane, you'll see.
00:54:05I'll be back.
00:54:07I'll be a changed man.
00:54:09It's a new Thurgood Jenkins today.
00:54:12I love you.
00:54:15Man, that first day
00:54:16of sobriety sucked.
00:54:18And I realized something.
00:54:19I was a real irritable guy
00:54:21when I wasn't smoking marijuana.
00:54:23I couldn't stop thinking
00:54:24about getting high.
00:54:26And that's when I decided
00:54:27it was time to get help.
00:54:29Hi, everyone.
00:54:30My name is Thurgood.
00:54:31Hi, how are you, Thurgood?
00:54:35Hi.
00:54:36I'm here today
00:54:37because I'm addicted
00:54:40to marijuana.
00:54:42Hell no.
00:54:43You went here
00:54:44for some marijuana?
00:54:46Marijuana?
00:54:47Man, this is some bullshit.
00:54:50Marijuana is not a drug.
00:54:52I used to suck dick for coke.
00:54:54I seen them.
00:54:56Now that's an addiction, man.
00:54:57You ever suck
00:54:58some dick for marijuana?
00:54:59Huh?
00:55:02No.
00:55:03No, I can't say I have.
00:55:05I didn't think so.
00:55:06Fool this man!
00:55:08Fool!
00:55:10Fool!
00:55:11Fool!
00:55:20No, no, no, devil man, devil 666, the mark of the beast, no, naughty, naughty jungle of love.
00:55:42Calm down, all right, how serious can he be?
00:55:44You want to see Mr. Nice Guy, yo, he told me.
00:55:56Nah, yo, they killed killer, B.
00:56:01Yo, Samson did this, man.
00:56:05Yo, he killed killer, man.
00:56:08Hey.
00:56:11I'm going to call Brian.
00:56:13Let's just give him a proper burial, all right?
00:56:16I'm sorry, man.
00:56:19Jesus Christ.
00:56:21Oh!
00:56:22Watch it, man!
00:56:23You stepped out of bed, yo!
00:56:25I'm sorry, I didn't even see him.
00:56:26What do you think?
00:56:29He's half the assumerica.
00:56:30There's a bit of a Harrison.
00:57:01I got smoke. I have got smoke.
00:57:06What happened, man?
00:57:08You want to know what happened?
00:57:09I'll tell you what happened.
00:57:11Samson and his girls came rolling up in here looking for me.
00:57:14Because they said they was going to mess me up if I didn't bring a Mr. Nice Guy.
00:57:18So they probably roughed the guy up.
00:57:20Then they started going to war with the apartment.
00:57:23They got nunchucks, bolos.
00:57:25They be doing Indian burns.
00:57:27And killer paid the price, yo.
00:57:29You know, he got the wrath.
00:57:31He got the wrath of the nunchucks, yo.
00:57:35I think it's more complex than that.
00:57:39More complex than that?
00:57:40You know what I think happened?
00:57:43You want to hear what I think, man?
00:57:48First of all, to understand what happened to killer, you got to understand who killer the dog was.
00:57:57Now, killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother.
00:58:00He was always ashamed of this, man.
00:58:03And then right after that, he's adopted by this man, Tito Leibovitz.
00:58:08He's a small-time gunrunner and rottweiler, fight promoter.
00:58:13So he puts killer into training.
00:58:15They say, you know, killer's good.
00:58:17He is damn good.
00:58:18But then, he had the fight in his life.
00:58:23And he pitted him against his brother, Nibbles.
00:58:26And killer said, no, man, that's my brother.
00:58:29I can't fight Nibbles.
00:58:30And he made him fight anyway.
00:58:33And the killer, he killed Nibbles.
00:58:37The killer said, that's it.
00:58:39He called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he freaked out.
00:58:46And then, in a rage, he collapsed.
00:58:50And his heart no longer beat.
00:58:56Wow.
00:58:59You know, I never thought I'd say this to anybody, but
00:59:04you two smoke entirely too much reefer.
00:59:07What if the guy did it?
00:59:11No way, you think?
00:59:20Yo, the guy.
00:59:21Did you kill my dog?
00:59:28I believe him, yo.
00:59:30I don't know why, but I do.
00:59:36Samson did this shit, yo.
00:59:42Mr. Nice Guy, party accessories.
00:59:44What did you get my message?
00:59:47Who is this?
00:59:48This is Samson, smarty pants.
00:59:51Operator with an emergency breakthrough from your sister.
00:59:54Samson is Sheila.
00:59:56Mama Phelps.
00:59:57Shut up, bitch.
00:59:57You tell Mr. Nice Guy to get his Jamaican ass over to my place at three o'clock tomorrow.
01:00:05Now, you don't want me to get ugly.
01:00:09No, sir.
01:00:10Shit.
01:00:11All right, I'll tell him.
01:00:13Oh, my God.
01:00:16We're in a lot of trouble.
01:00:19Scarface.
01:00:21Perhaps he could help me.
01:00:24Why do you think Samson thinks that Mr. Nice Guy's a Jamaican?
01:00:28Oh, because I told him Mr. Nice Guy was Jamaican, yo.
01:00:32Why?
01:00:33I don't know.
01:00:34I just always thought he sounded Jamaican inside my head, B.
01:00:38We're in a lot of trouble, guys.
01:00:39We have a meeting with Samson tomorrow at three o'clock.
01:00:42Where are we going to get a Jamaican from?
01:00:44I'll pretend I'm Jamaican, man.
01:00:48Yeah.
01:00:51You have smoked yourself, retarded.
01:00:58Well, well, well.
01:01:02If it isn't, Mr. Nice Guy.
01:01:05Welcome to my lair.
01:01:08Well, now, tell me a little bit about yourself.
01:01:15Well, you know, I'd be from Jamaica, man.
01:01:19Not a mercy.
01:01:20What part of Jamaica?
01:01:22Right near the beach.
01:01:24Boy, I think you're bullshitting me.
01:01:29Samson Simpson, I stick by my story.
01:01:33I'm from Jamaica.
01:01:33Jamaica, if I wasn't Jamaican, then why would I wear this hat?
01:01:39Hmm?
01:01:40Delilah.
01:01:43Get me 814.
01:01:47814.
01:01:50What the fuck is 814?
01:01:57Oh!
01:02:00I'm sorry, y'all.
01:02:01I don't want to be the first nigga to die from a crossbow.
01:02:04You know, I've been lying to you.
01:02:06I'm sorry.
01:02:08Samson, I'm sorry.
01:02:10Okay?
01:02:11We just started this because our friend got locked up.
01:02:14Bro, we know how that is.
01:02:15We had to come out of jail.
01:02:17Now, this is what's going to happen.
01:02:20You make about $40,000, $50,000 a week.
01:02:24Shit.
01:02:25Well, I want half.
01:02:29$20,000 a week.
01:02:30Or you're dead.
01:02:32Do you understand?
01:02:35$20,000 seems fair.
01:02:37That seems fair, right, guys?
01:02:38It's fair.
01:02:40Class dismissed.
01:02:43Man, we are in trouble, man.
01:02:51Jerry, I really need your help, man.
01:02:55Feel us.
01:02:56Brian, will you stop praying to a bag of sand, man?
01:03:00Come on.
01:03:02You heard the man.
01:03:03If we don't get this money, we're dead.
01:03:05All of us.
01:03:10Yo, Thurgood.
01:03:11Why don't you get your boy the guy to lend you some money, yo?
01:03:14You certainly let him stay here long enough.
01:03:16Man, that's Brian's boy.
01:03:18I don't let him stay here.
01:03:20I don't know, man.
01:03:27Hey, what day is it?
01:03:29Saturday.
01:03:31Is it January?
01:03:32No, man.
01:03:33It's August.
01:03:35Oh, wow.
01:03:37August.
01:03:38Hey, you know, I couldn't help overhearing you guys.
01:03:41You know, if you want to double your profits, you should just go in there and rob that lab.
01:03:46Tomorrow, Sunday, there'll be no one in there.
01:03:48Just go in and rob the place blind.
01:03:51It'll work.
01:03:52I promise you.
01:03:56Hey, uh, seeing as how we don't know who you are and all, are you planning on moving out anytime
01:04:02soon?
01:04:04Thurgood, why don't you just focus on one thing at a time?
01:04:07I'll be fine.
01:04:08The robbery's what's important now.
01:04:12Wow.
01:04:14It's our best room.
01:04:15It's our best room.
01:04:17It's our best.
01:04:19It's our best room.
01:04:24It's our best room.
01:04:24That's right.
01:04:25We'll be fine.
01:04:26It's our best room.
01:04:30Two our best room.
01:04:31And we'll be fine.
01:04:40We'll be fine.
01:04:40LochLinkee Scout Speaker
01:04:40Do not want to depend on me,
01:04:40We'll be fine.
01:04:42Hooray off,
01:04:43Ho ho ho ho ho ho.
01:04:49This one is complete, yo.
01:04:51Ah.
01:04:53Alright.
01:04:54Now all we gotta do is go down this hatch,
01:04:56to the second full supply room,
01:04:57grab all the wheat you can grab,
01:04:59and we are outta here.
01:05:01Sick, man. This is it.
01:05:03Let's do it.
01:05:04Let's step.
01:05:16You didn't say nothin' about no door, yo.
01:05:18Chill out, man. Alright? I smoke weed here all the time.
01:05:20This door is never locked.
01:05:23I didn't say the law would be off.
01:05:25Alright? I said they never locked.
01:05:26It's work, yo.
01:05:28You got it on the way up.
01:05:33Oh.
01:05:36Hold up.
01:05:38Isn't that Thurgood, the custodian?
01:05:41Yeah. You want me to call the cops?
01:05:43No. This is too much fun.
01:05:54There's some left.
01:06:03Oh.
01:06:13Wow.
01:06:13Wow.
01:06:15Wow.
01:06:17Oh!
01:06:22Oh!
01:06:23Oh!
01:06:24Oh!
01:06:24Oh!
01:06:25Oh, no.
01:06:27Oh, no, no, no.
01:06:28I don't even know, damn it, think of.
01:06:29I don't see anything in my life.
01:06:31Let's go.
01:06:53Get down on your knees with your hands behind your head.
01:06:57Yo, I'm gonna make a run for it, B.
01:06:59Sit down, man.
01:07:06At least Brian got away, yo.
01:07:08Boo!
01:07:10My nads!
01:07:14Hey!
01:07:15Thank God, man!
01:07:18Get down on your knees with your hands behind your head!
01:07:20You're right there.
01:07:22Bravo, who in?
01:07:27You guys, breaking and entering.
01:07:30Gami, open and shut.
01:07:32I say we buck him.
01:07:33Gami, we buck him.
01:07:35Hey, hey, hey.
01:07:36Wait a minute, guys.
01:07:38It's not open and shut, all right?
01:07:41What do you guys do for a living?
01:07:43I'm a detective.
01:07:44Yeah, we're detectives.
01:07:45Oh, okay.
01:07:46Then detect.
01:07:47Ask us something.
01:07:49What do you know about this new Jamaican, this Mr. Nice Guy?
01:07:52Yeah.
01:07:54Oh, see?
01:07:55Well, I heard he's got great weed, but that's neither here nor there.
01:08:01I mean, we can't bring him down.
01:08:03Great weed?
01:08:03But we can bring you Samson.
01:08:06Just ask me how.
01:08:08Hey, ask me!
01:08:11How are you gonna bring Samson down?
01:08:13We got a meeting with him in a couple days.
01:08:16I'll wear a wire.
01:08:18All right, listen to me.
01:08:20There's $30,000 in this nup sack.
01:08:23When you get in there, give him the 20 grand you owe him,
01:08:25and with the remaining 10, buy whatever narcotics he's got around.
01:08:28You got me?
01:08:30You paying attention?
01:08:32No.
01:08:33Sorry, man.
01:08:35Unless you say out loud what it is you're buying, we got nothing.
01:08:38So make sure that you say it, and make sure that you get Samson to say it.
01:08:42No codes, no slang.
01:08:43Yeah.
01:08:43Now, as soon as you got the stuff, or if anything goes wrong,
01:08:46say the phrase abracadabra.
01:08:49Abracadabra.
01:08:50Abracadabra?
01:08:53Okay, okay.
01:08:54Make sure that you are relaxed and just act completely normal.
01:08:58That's gonna be a problem.
01:09:00What do you mean?
01:09:00I mean, we haven't smoked any weed today, man.
01:09:04Now, if the three of us go in there all clear-eyed and shit,
01:09:07Samson is gonna know something's up.
01:09:13Well, if you think it's gonna help.
01:09:15Yeah.
01:09:15Yeah, I think that's gonna help.
01:09:17You got a light?
01:09:22Mm.
01:09:24Mm-hmm.
01:09:25Mm-hmm.
01:09:26Mm-hmm.
01:09:27Thanks, officer.
01:09:33I just wanna say, that was a great idea, Thurgood.
01:09:39Wow.
01:09:41I mean, where do you even-
01:09:42Just smoke it, yo!
01:09:46If something happens to us, could you-
01:09:49Could you give this letter to Mary Jane Potless?
01:09:52Sure thing, kid.
01:09:54And-
01:09:55And tell our friend Kenny Davis we love him.
01:09:58He's in prison.
01:09:59Let's go.
01:10:00Come on.
01:10:01All right, let's move.
01:10:02Come on.
01:10:03Come on.
01:10:04All right.
01:10:04Just remember to speak clearly.
01:10:06Get him to say what he's selling you.
01:10:07All right?
01:10:08Yeah.
01:10:09You know, it ain't always good to get high before you have important things to do.
01:10:13What do we gotta do now?
01:10:15Well, lucky for us, the cops had our backs.
01:10:19Hello, boys!
01:10:21Hi, Stetson.
01:10:24So, where's the money?
01:10:27Right here in my bag.
01:10:28Um, Samson, can I ask you a question?
01:10:32Go ahead.
01:10:34Do you know where we can score some cocaine?
01:10:38You want some candy?
01:10:40Uh, no thanks.
01:10:42But it'd be great if we can get some cocaine.
01:10:48What's so funny?
01:10:50Those guys are duped.
01:10:52I can't feel my hands.
01:10:55I-I can feel it.
01:11:01What we have here is some Colombian heaven.
01:11:06Pure cocaine.
01:11:08Candy makes you dandy.
01:11:10Hmm.
01:11:11This is all the cocaine we get for 10 Gs, B?
01:11:14Yeah.
01:11:15Oh, well.
01:11:15We have other product.
01:11:16Oh, like-like more cocaine.
01:11:20And that is...
01:11:22Fine.
01:11:23China.
01:11:25The balloon.
01:11:26Looks like heroin to me, yo.
01:11:29Yeah.
01:11:29Yeah, is that heroin?
01:11:31You've got to be the dumbest dealers in the history of a dope game.
01:11:35Oh, you mean the game that you run, yo?
01:11:38Just call me Jesse Owens.
01:11:41Hey, Jesse, can we get some cocaine and get the hell out of here?
01:11:44Okay.
01:11:46Can I buy some of your heroin, too?
01:11:48Okay.
01:11:51All right.
01:11:53It's been a pleasure doing business with you.
01:11:55Thank you very much for the heroin and the cocaine.
01:11:58Here's your money.
01:11:59All right.
01:12:02Abra-cadabra.
01:12:05Abra-cadabra.
01:12:06Yeah, man.
01:12:10Abra-cadabra, yo.
01:12:14Abra-cadabra.
01:12:16You're all the Mary Jane I'll ever need.
01:12:22Abra-cadabra, yo.
01:12:24Abra-cadabra, man.
01:12:26Abra-cadabra.
01:12:28Boy.
01:12:29Why do you keep saying that?
01:12:31What?
01:12:32Abra-cadabra?
01:12:33Yes.
01:12:34Abra-cadabra.
01:12:36It's the latest slang, man.
01:12:37All the kids are saying it, right?
01:12:38Hey.
01:12:39Abra-cadabra, my nigga.
01:12:40What's up, Abra-cadabra?
01:12:42Abra-cadabra.
01:12:42Slim.
01:12:43Take off your shirt.
01:12:46Samson.
01:12:47Samson, I hardly know you.
01:12:50Ladies.
01:12:51Abra-cadabra.
01:12:52Abra-cadabra, man.
01:12:53Abra-cadabra, y'all.
01:12:54Abra-cadabra.
01:12:56Abra.
01:12:57You're dead.
01:13:00All of you.
01:13:01Hey, fellas.
01:13:03Let's beat these bitches!
01:13:07No!
01:13:10No!
01:13:24No!
01:13:26No!
01:13:27No!
01:13:28No!
01:13:29No!
01:13:30No!
01:13:31No!
01:13:31No!
01:13:32Oh!
01:13:32Oh, but let's work it out.
01:13:40Oh, dear, pal, you're titty.
01:13:45Now, that's a titty.
01:13:47Fully, man.
01:13:48That is an official foley.
01:13:51Oh, dear, these are mean people.
01:14:02Mean, mean people.
01:14:09You know, this is for killer me.
01:14:14Surprise, surprise, surprise.
01:14:17Look who's walking.
01:14:20Now, nigga, I thought you said you was crippled.
01:14:23Oh, sweet pea.
01:14:24We're all crippled in some way.
01:14:27Put it down.
01:14:28You win.
01:14:31Now, this is the way it's gonna work.
01:14:35I'm gonna take your little Mexican friend with me,
01:14:38and I'm gonna kill him.
01:14:40I'm Cuban, B.
01:14:41Yes, Cuban B.
01:14:43Is there anything you want to say to your friends?
01:14:47We eat you.
01:14:49Abracadabra, B!
01:14:56Oh, man.
01:15:03Wow.
01:15:07Sucks to be you, man.
01:15:11Oh, man.
01:15:12Oh, man.
01:15:14Oh, man.
01:15:14What did I...
01:15:15I told you he was real, man.
01:15:18Cherry.
01:15:21Thank you, man.
01:15:22You're welcome, Brian.
01:15:25Peace.
01:15:35Well, abracadabra.
01:15:36Whoa.
01:15:37All right.
01:15:38What the hell's going on here?
01:15:40Our job is done.
01:15:41You guys can go home.
01:15:43You guys are wasted, man.
01:15:45Target, target.
01:15:47Nice letter.
01:15:49Queer, man.
01:15:50Queer.
01:15:57Everybody breathe.
01:15:58Ah, shit.
01:15:59Everybody move.
01:16:03Of course, the cops took all the credit for busting Samson,
01:16:06but that's not important.
01:16:08What was important is that we cut a deal,
01:16:10and Kenny was finally free.
01:16:12Hallelujah.
01:16:13Hallelujah.
01:16:17Which brings me to the Brooklyn Bridge,
01:16:19where I had to make things right with Mary Jane.
01:16:26Hi.
01:16:27Are you?
01:16:29A little bit from yesterday.
01:16:31You know, Kenny got...
01:16:31But, but, but, Mary Jane, listen.
01:16:34I'm done.
01:16:35I'm done selling it.
01:16:36I'm done smoking it.
01:16:38This is the last of it right here.
01:16:40I just wanted you to see me get rid of it.
01:16:45Could we just have a, a moment alone?
01:16:50Do what you gotta do.
01:16:52Be strong.
01:16:53Thanks, baby.
01:16:58Mary Jane,
01:17:00being with you these past 11 years has been wonderful.
01:17:04But I gotta move on.
01:17:06Come on, smoke me.
01:17:08We'll have a cookie for old time's sake.
01:17:11No.
01:17:11She's looking.
01:17:14She's looking.
01:17:16All right, real quick.
01:17:19No.
01:17:21No, it wouldn't be right.
01:17:23God damn you!
01:17:28You'll be back!
01:17:32Everything work out okay?
01:17:34Yeah.
01:17:35Mary Jane, I love you.
01:17:37I love you, too.
01:17:44I know.
01:17:45I know what you're thinking.
01:17:47That old Thurgood sold out, right?
01:17:50I'm your girl now.
01:17:51Well, let me tell you something.
01:17:53I love weed, okay?
01:17:54I love it.
01:17:57But not as much as I love pussy.
01:18:01The end.
01:18:04I love you, too.
01:18:06I get lifted up.
01:18:09Ha, ha.
01:18:10Ha, ha.
01:18:13I get lifted up.
01:18:17Ha, ha.
01:18:20Ha, ha.
01:18:21Sitting together, baby.
01:18:25We're all alone.
01:18:29Now I can tell you
01:18:32Girl, you tell me all
01:18:38I get lifted up
01:18:43I get lifted up
01:18:56You've got the love that
01:18:59The love that desire to bear
01:19:05You've got the magic
01:19:07Ooh, that leads to my mind
01:19:14I get lifted up
01:19:22I get lifted up
01:19:27I get lifted up
01:19:29I get lifted up
01:19:30I get lifted up
01:19:49I can lift it up
01:19:53I, I, I
01:19:57I can lift it up
01:20:01I, I, I
01:20:05I got the love that
01:20:09The love I desire, baby
01:20:14I got the love that
01:20:19The love's in my back
01:20:24I can lift it up
01:20:28I, I, I
01:20:32I can lift it up
01:20:36I, I, I
01:20:41I can lift it up
01:20:45I, I, I
01:20:49I can lift it up
01:20:54I, I, I, I
01:20:58I, I, I, I
01:20:59I, I, I, I
01:21:40Hey everybody, I'm Dave Chappell.
01:21:42If you want to learn more about marijuana or other illegal substances, go to your local
01:21:47library.
01:21:48Because remember, the more you read, the smarter you are!
01:21:59Here we go!
01:22:00You
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