- 8 hours ago
Alice And Steve S01e05 1080P
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:11Treasure each other. It's the most important relationship you'll ever have.
00:18Thanks.
00:21But don't sleep with your mother's friends.
00:30.
00:46Reservation under Izzy Asher.
00:49Does everyone get the door wrong?
00:52No.
00:53Oh, that's strange.
00:55I actually designed the shards, so, yeah, they really mess the doors up.
00:59Glad that none of your other patrons noticed her.
01:09I thought I was meeting Izzy.
01:11Me too.
01:17Is she parent-trapping us?
01:18It seems so.
01:19If only I had a butler and you had a winery.
01:23Don't understand.
01:25If we do break up, which child do you want?
01:27We both want Dom, don't we?
01:31I need a drink.
01:37This is ridiculous, isn't it?
01:39What are we doing?
01:40It's been weeks and we're not even trying to fix it.
01:42Don't you think I should just move back in?
01:46I don't even understand what we're arguing about.
01:49Do you?
01:50We're arguing about the fact that you lie to me and that you don't prioritize our relationship.
01:56Okay.
01:58I'm not sure why I'm the one apologizing.
02:00I'm not the one who had a strange woman over to our house.
02:05There's no way you haven't lied to me once or twice.
02:07She's not a strange woman and I don't lie to you ever.
02:12Excuse me?
02:14I'm proud of the...
02:15Oh, you know, it's not a parent trap.
02:17Steve and Izzy are here.
02:19Oh, amazing.
02:20So, do they not have waiters at this restaurant?
02:26Hey.
02:27Hey.
02:27Okay.
02:31So, sorry to have misled you both about dinner, but I think we all need to find a way to
02:36get along.
02:37Oh, right.
02:38Sounds good.
02:38Well, let's do that then.
02:39Okay.
02:42Do we not worry about the fact that he's destroyed my marriage and my job?
02:44After you destroyed my job?
02:46After you had sex with my child.
02:48Adult...
02:49Adult child.
02:51I think, in the interest of moving forward, you and I really need to bury the hatchet.
02:57That's racist.
02:58Is it?
02:59Right.
03:00Well, you're using a Native American term, bury the hatchet.
03:03That's racist.
03:03I should know because I got fired for being a racist.
03:06Okay, then I actually was a racist.
03:07Apparently, that's my thing.
03:08Okay, stop.
03:10We're having a baby.
03:11Yeah.
03:15Sorry.
03:17We need to...
03:20You're...
03:24I think, yeah, you should...
03:26Yeah.
03:27We're having a baby.
03:28And we just wanted to tell you two so that we could sort this and get back to normal.
03:37Excuse me, can anyone come and take our drinks order, please?
03:45Quite loud.
03:47I'll bring you the wine list.
03:49No, no, no.
03:49Two bottles of red.
03:51I'm not drinking.
03:52Me neither.
03:53Solidarity.
03:56Two bottles.
04:03There.
04:04There.
04:04That's the news.
04:09Mom, just...
04:13Do you really want a baby?
04:16Yeah.
04:20Babies are a lot of work.
04:28I...
04:29I need you to...
04:31I just...
04:31Can you just say that you're happy for me?
04:33Please?
04:34Can you just say it?
04:35I'm happy if you're happy.
04:42You don't have to be in a relationship just because you're having a baby.
04:46I love Steve.
04:47I love him.
04:48And I want to do this with him.
04:59Okay.
05:00Fine.
05:02Okay.
05:03Yes.
05:03Okay.
05:08Okay.
05:09Okay.
05:13And how are you feeling?
05:15Any sickness?
05:16Yeah, a bit.
05:17Uh, no.
05:18Not yet.
05:19Oh, well, that's brilliant.
05:21So lucky not to feel sick.
05:28I just want you both to know that I will do everything and anything it takes to be the
05:34best father for this baby.
05:36And, uh, we already know that it's going to have the best granny.
05:48And, uh, when's, uh, when's it due?
05:51Our scans this week, actually.
05:53Wow.
05:53Oh, wow.
05:55Sweet.
05:56It would be lovely to have another little one running around the house.
06:01Yeah.
06:01Gosh.
06:04It's happy.
06:07It's happy.
06:07Ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:09Ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:10A baby.
06:13Ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:16Happy.
06:19Happy.
06:20Happy tears.
06:24I should probably go to the loo.
06:36Oh, please, for the love of God, please.
06:38Can you bring two bottles of red wine to my table?
06:41I'll pay you £100.
06:43£200.
06:47I know it's really quick, Daniel,
06:49but, honestly, it feels like fate.
06:52Yeah, no, it's lovely.
06:56Thanks, mate.
06:58We thought of calling it Lenny if it's a boy.
07:01It's cute.
07:02And then if it's a gal, we'll call it Shirley.
07:06I know what you're thinking.
07:07Surely you can be serious.
07:12Maybe.
07:14Oh, God.
07:16Oh, God.
07:17Oh, God.
07:17Oh, God.
07:19Oh, God.
07:20Are you OK?
07:22Do you need help?
07:26No.
07:29It's too late.
07:32Oh, God, it's all too...
07:34It's too late.
07:37Mum?
07:40Mum?
07:41Are you OK?
07:44Yeah.
07:49I know I'm young, but you were almost the same age when you had me.
07:59Yeah.
08:01I was.
08:04Yeah.
08:07And you always say having me was the best decision you ever made.
08:12It was...
08:16Quite...
08:16Hard.
08:19Sorry?
08:21Sorry, are you talking to me?
08:22No!
08:23No.
08:25Mum?
08:25What did you say?
08:26I said...
08:28It was hard!
08:34I can do hard.
08:35I can do hard.
08:39I wouldn't be here if you hadn't done it.
08:54I sort of hope it's a girl.
08:57And it would be like you and me.
08:59It's the universe.
09:10You know, I'm not your mate, don't you?
09:14Sorry?
09:15I always thought you were harmless.
09:16I never found you as funny as Alice did, but I liked that you made her happy.
09:22But I'm starting to think that there's a good chance that you're a selfish person, Steve,
09:27who doesn't care about anyone but themselves.
09:30And I'm kind of dreading the fact that I'm going to have to spend every Christmas with
09:34you until I die.
09:36Hey.
09:38Hey.
09:40Everything okay?
09:41Yeah.
09:42Great.
09:43Just planning Christmas.
09:48I think we'll stay in Steve's flat probably until the baby's at least one.
09:53We like the idea of attachment parenting.
09:55And I think we want home birth.
09:57I like the idea of having a baby in water.
09:59Did you have a natural birth, man?
10:01No, I had an epidural.
10:03Any excuse for some drugs, am I right?
10:06Not really.
10:07We tend to have big babies in our family.
10:10Oh, really?
10:10I had the full Spice Girl.
10:14When two become one.
10:19When you rip all the way from the vagina to the anus.
10:31Oh, I just remembered we have to pick up my parents from the airport.
10:36Oh.
10:37But your parents are here?
10:39Yeah.
10:40They're doing a tour of European railways.
10:42This room.
10:43Doo-doo-doo-doo.
10:45Let's go.
10:53She's not ready for a baby.
10:57Maybe you should tell her how hard it was for you.
10:59I can't do that.
11:01She'd hate me forever.
11:03Oh, sorry. Sorry, darling, but having a baby so young
11:07was the worst decision I ever made.
11:08And for the first six weeks, I'd dreamt of nothing
11:11but dropping you off at a Russian orphanage
11:13and pretending I'd found you in the street.
11:16I couldn't go out.
11:17I felt no human connection to you whatsoever.
11:21And for years and years, no-one wanted to go out with me.
11:25What do you mean, no-one wanted to go out with you?
11:27I wanted to go out with you.
11:28No-one else wanted to.
11:31Oh, that's why you chose me, because I was the only option.
11:34No!
11:35I make your life more fun.
11:37You make my life more manageable.
11:39And one isn't better than the other.
11:42And if you don't like it, then, you know, maybe you should,
11:44you know, just leave.
11:47I think I've already done that, haven't I?
11:52This isn't your bus stop.
11:54The bus to your mum's goes from the other side.
11:56Yeah, I'm not going to my mum's.
11:57I'll stay at my house.
11:59If you're, if you're leaving me, you should be the one to move out.
12:10What do you, what do you mean?
12:11She, she just didn't get on the plane?
12:13No, she cancelled her ticket last week.
12:16Why didn't you tell, you didn't think to tell me this, Dad?
12:19Is she, is she okay?
12:20Is there, is there something wrong with her?
12:22Apart from selfishness and a basic lack of interest in locomotives.
12:26Yeah, do you know they sat some Indian teller beside me on the aeroplane?
12:30Uh, uh, uh, uh, Dad.
12:32Um, guess what?
12:34Izzy and I are having a baby.
12:36Isn't that lovely news?
12:38Who's Izzy?
12:40This is Izzy, remember?
12:43I'm Izzy.
12:44Remember from, uh, from about three minutes ago?
12:47What do you mean you're having a baby?
12:49Uh, I'm pregnant.
12:51Yeah, we're really happy.
12:53What, with him?
12:55Yes.
12:56You got you pregnant?
12:57Yes, Dad.
12:59Well, when's the big day?
13:01Uh, um, we're taking it one step at a time.
13:06Oh yeah, marriage first, and then the baby.
13:09Um, it's not 1950, Dad.
13:11People don't care about that kind of thing anymore.
13:13Oh, oh, right.
13:15So this one's going to grow up knowing that it's a bastard, eh?
13:18A mistake.
13:21A happy accident.
13:24Oh, well, let's hope you have another one.
13:26We always regretted having only the one.
13:36You can see where I get my coolness from.
13:49Are you seriously trying to get to the house first?
13:51You're such a child, Alice.
14:09If you lock the door, I'm calling the police.
14:35I didn't want to sleep with you anyway.
15:02And I'm Allah.
15:21you're gonna be fine
15:23yeah
15:24i think we've probably been in a rut for ages but just didn't notice
15:29i'm proud of you dan
15:31i'm taking control
15:34i am online
15:37i am
15:41all i needed was the love you gave
15:45all i needed for another day
15:49and all i ever knew
15:53only you
16:09what happened to the printer
16:14it broke
16:25how'd the interview go
16:29couldn't print out my cv so i didn't go
16:34what are you doing
16:36i'm watching porn stars
16:38this woman she thought a teacup was worth nine thousand dollars
16:41turns out it's just a piece of crap
16:48shall we
16:49shall we go to yours
16:51yeah
16:52yeah
16:57bye mom
17:26sorry
17:29sorry
17:30can we
17:30stop for a second
17:32of course
17:34what's wrong
17:35i am
17:37i need to go home
17:38why what's happened
17:40i just can't be here
17:42what
17:44i am
17:45i am
17:46need to go home
17:46why
17:47why
17:55stop
17:56talk to me
17:58dom what are you doing
18:02what the fuck was that
18:04what
18:06one minute
18:07one minute you're kissing me
18:08and the next you've bolted out the door
18:09are you okay
18:11i'm not leaving
18:12i just need to check on my mum
18:15everything's fucked
18:16okay
18:16my mum's drinking in the day
18:18my parents hate each other
18:20and my sister is having a baby with a 50 year old
18:23it feels like someone has pressed a button
18:26and the world is ending
18:27it's like in terminator in the playground
18:29and suddenly everyone's fucking faces are melting off
18:32like no one has a face
18:34it's all fucked
18:37sorry
18:39come on
18:41thank you
18:45i like the bit about our faces melting off
19:04can we just
19:04like
19:05do nothing
19:08nothing
19:09yep
19:11can we just like
19:14do nothing
19:16at all
19:17sure
19:27that's great
19:30isabel asher
19:31yep
19:32holy shit
19:34we're about to see our baby
19:37that's baby's heartbeat
19:45just the one
19:47yep
19:47afraid so
19:50no
19:50and do you want to find out the gender or no
19:52oh
19:52i'm not 12 weeks yet
19:54can you do that
19:55well you're closer to 16
19:58oh
19:59no i've had my period between then and now
20:02that's probably just implantation bleeding
20:07could
20:07could the baby just be a fast grow up
20:13no
20:14but
20:15lucky you for whistling right through to the second trimester
20:18you're into the easy stretch now
20:23so
20:24do we want to find out the sex then mummy
20:26and daddy
20:32yeah
20:32yes please
20:33you are having a baby girl
21:00i'm really sorry
21:02it's fine
21:07daniel's always been my dad
21:10yeah i know
21:12i know he is
21:14but
21:15if you do want to end this
21:17then
21:18yeah i
21:19i
21:20understand
21:23no i want this
21:27i'm scared that you won't want this
21:31i
21:32i want this
21:38okay great
21:49do you want me to come in with you or
21:52no i think i should probably do this by myself
21:56yeah
21:58okay good luck
22:12izzy
22:16please don't go back to him
22:19i won't
22:44hey tiger
22:46it's nice to see you
22:50i'm pregnant
22:53say that again
22:54for me
22:55i'm pregnant
22:57it's yours
22:59and uh
23:00i'm gonna have it
23:06i'm gonna have it
23:21i'm gonna have it
23:23you
23:28it's so
23:31I don't know.
24:14I think we should get married.
24:15What?
24:17I want to marry you.
24:20I don't understand.
24:21I love you, Izzy.
24:23I really love you, and actually I think you're the best person that I've ever met.
24:28And I would like to be a family with you.
24:30And eat spaghetti vongole and teach little Shirley how to swim.
24:36And I don't care that she's not biologically mine.
24:38In fact, maybe that's even better because she and I will be a chosen family.
24:43And I know I'm old, but I will love you so hard and so completely.
24:49And when I'm too old, you can put me in a home and marry someone younger.
24:54But I love you, and I would like to marry you.
25:07Would you like to marry me too?
25:12Yes.
25:16Okay, great.
25:20Great.
25:21Great.
25:49You've expressed expressly your contempt for matrimony.
25:58If student wants to pay, it will not rest the alimony.
26:05Hey, hey, hey, marry me, Archie.
26:14Hey, hey, marry me, Archie.
26:23Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
26:31hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
26:31hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
26:31hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
26:31hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
26:31hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
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