- 9 hours ago
Vibeland Chronicles
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:13There's a bar on the outskirts of Vibe Land, usually frequented by locals and lost souls.
00:22There's one patron that stands out amongst the others, the queen herself,
00:26dancing the night away as the jukebox plays whatever song of her liking.
00:35Now this just isn't any song, this is her song to him, because music is her love language.
00:44The genre of song doesn't matter here for she does not discriminate.
00:49What attracts her to them, or rather them to her, is the Vibe.
00:58What matters here is, every single one gets their own special song.
01:25And while you always remember your first, it was this one that was different.
01:30She didn't see the darkness, or the malice, or the pain.
01:37This one was pure.
02:01But rules are rules, and this will be their song together forever.
02:07As the days go by, I begin to realize
02:14There's nothing on my mind
02:20As the days go by, I begin to...
02:50All hail the queen
02:53All hail the fucking queen
03:12Remember when I couldn't push start the whip
03:15Still laughing to be paid on a sidekick
03:18More than a gift in the 25th
03:21They say greater the reward, greater the risk
03:24Bigger the ocean, bigger the fish
03:27Tiger with shots, it's impossible to miss
03:30All hail theately
03:57He's here at night.
03:58Shut the fuck up.
04:06Where's your friend?
04:08This my boy, Mike.
04:11He gonna roll with me for a few bits,
04:13do a little marketing for Swisher.
04:25Whatever's clever, baby.
04:27You got a mask?
04:28Nah, let me get one.
04:34It's what the bipper's wearing, nigga.
04:44I'm not wearing a mask.
04:46Hey, Swish in the back.
04:56Two coming at you.
04:59Hey, take your shoes off.
05:00What?
05:01Why?
05:15Yeah, these eye things cool, but I think we need to be with an old girl with a bird mask,
05:22you feel me?
05:23Why they assassins?
05:25Assassins?
05:27Yeah, nigga.
05:54I like to go.
05:59Yeah, I think.
06:28Hey, Swish!
06:32When Bitman's not in the streets of Vibeland fighting crime, he's getting absolutely cooked off Bang Bangs, made locally here
06:40in Vibeland.
06:42Bang Bang. So refreshing.
06:47Fuck yeah.
06:49Do you want a bang?
07:04You gotta be fucking kidding me. These cocksuckers got commercials now.
07:13Fuck Bitman.
07:16I give a fuck about Lady Justice. These Peckawood ass vigilante motherfuckers is bad for business!
07:42This new shit right here, this berserk, turns use into soldiers, homie.
07:49These motherfuckers will tear a goddamn door down for Swish, you understand me? I got me a whole goddamn army,
07:53baby.
08:02Is that new nigga?
08:04Yeah, he ready Swish. He gonna roll with me, make this shit look all cinematic and trendy and whatnot.
08:10Like Ryan Coogler of the Bitworld, you feel me?
08:19Ryan Coogler of the Bitworld.
08:30Yeah! I dig it. You putting in there work for Swish. This nigga gets it!
08:42See, the real money ain't not OnlyFans, but y'all ain't freaky like that.
08:49Hold that burner.
08:54Eye in disguise gonna text you some locations.
08:57Only God himself will know when and where to hit these cars.
09:02So, follow the text and check in with Barbara on your way out, little nigga.
09:15You may go!
09:22What the fuck?
09:27Hmm.
09:39Yeah, pick them shits up.
09:48Hey, I'mma be around with you, bro. I don't know how I feel about all this.
09:52Bruh, chill.
09:54Like, I'm down to film some shit, but this is kinda serious.
09:57Bruh, I got you.
09:58I appreciate you, and I ain't no bitch!
10:00That just doesn't feel right.
10:02Like Ryan Coogler of the Bitworld? My nigga, what the actual-
10:11Like I said, I got you.
10:14Shit, nigga, that's all you had to say!
10:20Oh, well that is cute.
10:22I hate to break up such a wholesome moment, but they think they can do whatever they want.
10:27They think the streets of Vibe Land belong to them.
10:30Who is Bit-Man, you might ask?
10:32He is Justice and Retribution.
10:35And I feel like our friends here are gonna get to know him very, very soon.
10:39Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...
10:45Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...
10:49ha, ha...
10:50Oh
11:20Oh
11:54Oh
12:13Fuck that nigga bit man
12:18Hey yo
12:19That's it good people
12:20We got a sick one
12:21Coming up in the bay
12:22It's too hot out this week
12:23And not to be outside
12:24We got the battle of the bay
12:26Sunday night
12:27Niners
12:28Writers
12:28Tickets going crazy
12:29Saturday summer jams
12:31Line up is stupid
12:32This year is stacked
12:33And that's for tonight
12:34I hope y'all stay safe out there
12:36This is vibe land
12:37Been on some stranger things
12:38Type shit
12:39We gotta call it right now
12:40Brother Renta
12:41Out of West Oakland
12:42Renta talk to me good brother
12:43Blood
12:43What we talking about man
12:45Buddy is not playing with y'all
12:46Y'all need to leave that shit alone
12:47Missing people
12:48Colts
12:49Come on man
12:50Hey this Zodiac shit
12:51Gotta stop
12:52For real y'all
12:53Buddy works in the Frisco
12:54Boogeyman himself
12:54I know what y'all already say
12:56In the Chronicle
12:56You know they call me
12:57Conspiracy Made Markle
12:59My brother
12:59Stay blessed
13:00We got another caller
13:01What's up out there vibe land
13:02You could see it
13:08Attention citizens of San Francisco
13:10Since the Chronicle
13:12Since the Chronicle failed to print my last statement in a timely manner
13:14My next hunt will take place tonight
13:17A woman age 18 to 35
13:19Of Negro descent
13:22I will slit her throat from ear to ear and watch the blood flow down her chest
13:27I will not dispose of the body
13:29But dismember each limb with a hacksaw so that it fits neatly into my luggage
13:36I will sew her mouth shut
13:38As her screams will only get in the way of my work
13:41Please note that I am not a psychopath
13:44I am a necessity
13:47Vibe land is not for the meek
13:48And I am the swift right hand of human evolution
13:58Why she gotta be black though?
14:01I got a conspiracy for you Mike
14:02Hit me hit me
14:04Stevie Wonder can see
14:05Yo
14:06Yo shit
14:08Hey man I mean
14:09He's uh
14:10I've seen those videos
14:12He got that microphone
14:13Yeah
14:14That was wild
14:15And he blew kisses back at the lady over there on stage
14:18Come on bro
14:19Yeah
14:19Come on bro
14:20This is getting out of here
14:22Bro
14:22Vibe land is out of here right now
14:23This shit is going crazy right now
14:25Yeah
14:25And that's saying a lot
14:26It's ridiculous
14:26I mean we had the Zodiac copycat
14:29Maybe it's a copycat
14:30Maybe it's the original
14:31People are saying it could be something like
14:32From another dimension
14:34Or some Terminator shit
14:35Oh hell no
14:36Bro
14:37How did we get here
14:38How did we get here
14:39Because we didn't do shit
14:40Chillin bro
14:41Like walking our dogs
14:42What's that new killer
14:44Oh man
14:45A new serial killer
14:45The fact that I'm even saying
14:46There's a new serial killer
14:47Yeah man
14:47That fucking
14:48The butcher
14:48The baby face butcher
14:50He cuts your face off
14:51With a potato
14:51Oh my goodness
14:52Hide your kids
14:53Hide your wife
14:55Welcome to Vibe Mark
15:14Attention Vibe Mark shoppers
15:16Will the owner of a demonic like child wearing overalls please come to cashier number three
15:21Thank you
15:21Thank you
15:24Thank you
15:37Thank you
15:40Let me tell you
15:41I don't force her
15:44Take you
15:45I don't force her
15:46I don't force her
15:48To be ruined
15:50Than me
15:54You
15:55I don't write
15:56To be ruined
16:01To be medications
16:02You
16:02I don't want to
16:02I don't want to
16:03You
16:03It's
16:03I don't want to
16:07I don't want to
16:12Oh, my bad.
16:51What the fuck?
17:29Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, stop.
17:40Oh, my God.
17:51Hell no.
18:01Okay, this is how they take over, bro.
18:03So we're getting to the truth here.
18:05So, yeah, the government has already said that aliens are real.
18:09But where do we stand with that?
18:11Motherfucker make money.
18:16Say it with the judge now.
18:19Niggas trying to get rich, damn it.
18:22I did drugs.
18:24Now I'm back home.
18:25And now I got nothing to do.
18:27Motherfucker make money.
18:28I want to put my lips on you.
18:30I want to make your dreams come true.
18:33Yeah, baby.
18:34Because I admit that I've been shy about pretty wings.
18:38My niggas sliding.
18:39Now I'm too high.
18:41I don't want to fight about crazy nights.
18:44Come on, let's ride it out.
18:45I get the heebie-jeebies when you post in bikinis.
18:48And right atop you look like Britney Sweeney.
18:51Jesus.
18:51The whip was smoking out.
18:52I thought it was the marijuana.
18:54Dear departed.
18:54Take us to a destination.
18:56Body starters.
18:57Psychoanalysis.
18:58You sunk my battleship.
18:59Inside my dreams, my sleep paralysis.
19:02Damn it.
19:02We playing nervous.
19:03I won't panic.
19:04I eat you up from head to toe cause I get famished.
19:07I need to get up out the country, dip the planet.
19:10Don't turn your back on me, my dove.
19:11You know I'm damaged.
19:13My biggest fear is that I end up being average.
19:15But I got one my molly left.
19:17I'm down to have it.
19:18Now I did drugs.
19:20Now I'm back home.
19:21And now I got nothing to do.
19:24I want to put my lips on you.
19:26I want to make your dreams come true.
19:29Yeah, baby.
19:30Cause I'll admit that I've been shy about pretty wings.
19:34My neck is sliding out.
19:36I'm too high.
19:37I don't want to fight about crazy nights.
19:40Come on, let's ride it out.
19:42Tell me a story about Vibeland.
19:46Like some real Frisco lore?
19:49Ah.
19:54So in the 80s, there was this high school basketball player.
19:58White boy, super dope, all city, girlfriend captain of the cheer team.
20:02Typical high school musical shit, right?
20:04It's time to go to college.
20:05She stays local and goes to UC Vibeland while he gets a full ride to USC or wherever the
20:10fuck.
20:11Someplace not here.
20:12Guess what happens next?
20:14He breaks up with her.
20:15She breaks up with him.
20:16But Brian ain't trying to do all that.
20:18He's so cooked, he drops his full ride, shows up at UC Vibeland unannounced, fully enrolled,
20:25surprises old girl.
20:26She's like, what the fuck, dude?
20:27No.
20:27We're already two weeks in.
20:28She's probably like all in the frat parties, you know, dating black dudes and shit.
20:32She's probably having a good time.
20:33Nice.
20:34I know.
20:36So bruh, in a blind fit of rage and love or whatever you call it, he goes to her father's
20:41VHS store over on Irving Street, grabs a gun from behind the register, walks up to her
20:47in broad daylight, shoots her dead on campus.
20:50Holy shit.
20:52Fucked up, right?
20:59Allegedly, she still haunts the campus to this day.
21:04Spooky.
21:06You're saying?
21:06Let me guess, they told you this during freshman orientation?
21:09First of all, I didn't go to UC Vibeland.
21:12I went to...
21:18I...
21:20Um...
21:20Fuck.
21:21I can't remember.
21:23It's okay.
21:25No, that's fucking weird.
21:28Well, sorry I have to do this.
21:30Do what?
21:31Yo, what the fuck, dude?
21:32Game over, motherfucker.
21:33Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
21:40BGM
21:48Chit chit, yeah, chit chit, yeah.
21:52Talked to Brody in the morning, doin' uppers really got me going.
21:56Hit my line if it's important.
21:58Lil' mama just hopped up on it.
22:13Candidate 107, let's begin your debrief.
22:18I think...
22:19Don't think.
22:21I feel like there was an error on my part.
22:26I was forgetting things inside the simulation
22:28that I normally wouldn't forget.
22:31And if I'm being honest, I'm not fully aware
22:34of what the directive on that mission was.
22:36How did that make you feel?
22:38I don't know. I think...
22:40Don't think.
22:45Anxious.
22:46What does E-A-T stand for?
22:49Equality Advancement Task Force.
22:52So you know you must be prepared to do anything
22:54for the advancement of equality.
22:56And today's nightmares...
22:57Think away from tomorrow's future.
22:59I know the mantra.
23:00Why do you want to be a field agent for E-A-T?
23:06Look, man, if I'm being honest,
23:08I'll be a field agent,
23:09I'll do R&D,
23:11I'll do supernatural claims,
23:12I'll even scrub toilets at this point.
23:14The reality of my situation right now
23:16is that I need this job.
23:19I work hard,
23:20and I love this city.
23:24Let's run it again.
23:29Hear me out.
23:30I'm listening, man.
23:32Monsters,
23:33ghosts,
23:34serial killers.
23:35It's like a common theme
23:37throughout Five Land these days.
23:39It's the High Land, dude.
23:42But what if
23:44there is someone
23:45or something
23:47trying to control us?
23:50Trying to keep the brown and black in line?
23:53Like,
23:54playing crack in the hood?
23:56Exactly.
24:04We should get some...
24:12Can I tell you something?
24:14You want it?
24:15It's like 80 and G.
24:16Yeah.
24:18I saw him.
24:19I saw him.
24:19I saw him.
24:21I saw the Zodiac Killer.
24:23Get out of here.
24:24He was following me
24:25throughout Videmort.
24:27What?
24:28So he just, like,
24:29followed you?
24:30Yeah.
24:31He was in there with me,
24:32and then I left.
24:34And then I...
24:38And then I...
24:42I can't remember.
24:49I, um...
24:53I went...
25:01I'll hit the head.
25:02I'll hit the head.
25:07That must mean...
25:09Did I deviate from the objective?
25:12Something is very wrong.
25:24I...
25:37I...
25:50candidate 39 do you hold resentment over the residuals of last month's application
25:56no what happened today it felt more real go on i got lost in the simulation started forgetting
26:07things how can you be sure that you are not inside right now i guess i can't you are correcting
26:15that
26:15the simulation turned once you are too deeply immersed do you believe violin is real yes do
26:22you believe you are real don't think yes why do you keep applying for a field agent position at
26:29the world is a scary place i want to make a difference i need to make a difference
26:51mm-hmm
27:05so what you thought you saw the zodiac i don't think i know i saw the zodiac and no i
27:10was
27:10hang gliding i told you you were hang gliding yes you were hang gliding yes super cat super
27:15fucking cat why would i lie the zodiac hang gliding what is this why would i lie i don't know
27:20you
27:20lie about a lot of things no i don't actually okay don't be jealous because i live a really
27:25fun life and you don't i live a mildly decent fun life which i'm boring at you're over here
27:31telling me ghost stories about college come on out you asked you said tell me a story about
27:35modeling you literally asked that i wanted like a good juicy story
27:38you're nuts really fucking nuts that's fucking crazy because there's actually a ghost
28:09congratulations candidate you've successfully made it through this
28:13simulation round of applications we will place you on a brief hold while you wait please listen
28:19to dance away tonight by indie anthony it's a great song that got me through a lot a really
28:24hard time i was down bad anyways i hope you enjoy good luck on your next round
28:57that's a lot of pressure to ask somebody on a second date i mean i feel like i gotta know
29:02now
29:06well obviously whole fiction is number one okay solid number one
29:11and
29:16django is number two okay yeah i respect that
29:24and the sleeper pick coming in at number three death proof
29:30yep that's your third favorite tarantino movie hey if you're not ready for complex answers do
29:36not ask complex questions all right buddy you think you know a guy you don't know me
29:41bruh that's true bruh
29:45but i'd like to though
29:47take risk shake life crap out paranoia hallelujah tap out going crazy give me kisses love me
29:57all my brodies how we live it ugly a lot of y'all never caught a paid in a parking
30:02lot
30:03a lot of y'all never held it down for your family
30:06my pops used to tell me never go trust the cops
30:09that's love that's my definition of a family
30:12real niggas tryna make money over here real niggas tryna make money
30:18i ain't runnin' plays i'm like hot sauce in a packed gym in brooklyn with some black timbs
30:23found the world turned this bitch into actual world
30:25pulled up in a party but to my mama crib told her hop in it
30:28there's a lot of drugs and some girls dancing my homie might have a glock in it
30:31why we stay doing stupid shit i love it though
30:34rpsb never trust the hoes
30:35why your homie claim he cuffing though
30:36she be flirting nigga fuck her though
30:38drop a torque and let me touch her though
30:40kinda fed her baby sucker though
30:41i was stressing hella months ago
30:43told my homie i was getting mad
30:45i told my homie i was getting mad
30:47yeah
30:49told my homie i was getting mad
30:52motherfucker i be getting mad
30:54yeah
30:55tell a nigga take risks
30:57shake life
30:58crap out
30:59paranoia
31:00hallelujah
31:01crap out
31:11we at the after party getting lit
31:13we at the after party tryna feel
31:14had to double check if you was real
31:16don't need no soul searching
31:17i done come here to make you a deal
31:19strippers and closed curtains
31:20yeah
31:20homies outside we out in the field
31:22baby toast it up
31:23tell me something here that i really wanna know
31:25always gotta keep a code
31:26money comes
31:37always gotta keep a code
31:39money comes
31:43you
31:44then
31:54go
31:55go
31:55go
31:55go
31:57Woo!
31:59Woo!
32:01Woo!
32:04Woo!
32:05Woo!
32:07Woo!
32:09Woo!
32:14All in your sleeves, hand on my face,
32:19cause I don't taste,
32:21you at the homegirls house,
32:23I'm on the way.
32:32Have you seen my baby?
32:35That's it, Callahan.
32:37They finally got you.
32:39You just had to take that last job, didn't you?
32:48E-A-T.
32:50Equality Advancement My Ass.
32:54Now how do we get out of this one?
33:06Shoot my way out.
33:08That's old school.
33:10But these pups don't do that anymore.
33:17Think, P.I.
33:19Think.
33:20The masked man.
33:23What'd he tell you?
33:27Look, I can't talk long,
33:29but E-A-T is responsible for everything going on in VibeLand right now.
33:33Every single nightmare.
33:45I don't know who to trust.
33:48I feel like there's an entity following me.
33:52It couldn't have been her.
33:54The ghost lady of Stow Lake, perhaps.
33:58Legend has it,
33:59you need to answer a question to be cursed.
34:02And I definitely didn't.
34:05Right?
34:09No, P.I.
34:10Don't let them get to you.
34:12You'd never let your guard down like th-
34:14Hey.
34:30Old school it is.
34:34Risk it all.
34:35Throw it at me.
34:37I'm a catcher.
34:38Call me bad things.
34:40Blow you back out.
34:41Chiropractic.
34:42I've been waiting.
34:43For a long time.
34:45At the after.
34:46You taste so good.
34:47Where's your mama?
34:49I'm a slapper.
34:50Taste so good,
34:51make you wanna slap your mama!
34:53I just took a cab,
34:54I think I'm helping.
34:55Told you sorry girl,
34:56I think I'm helping.
35:09Hella creepy.
35:10And legend has it,
35:11if you respond to her asking if you've seen her baby,
35:13she haunts you for the rest of your life.
35:17No way.
35:18Mm-hmm.
35:19Yeah, dude.
35:19GSAR.
35:20That's some creepy ass shit.
35:22Super creepy.
35:23I don't know.
35:24I saw something.
35:24That's all I know.
35:25San Francisco got hella urban legends, dude.
35:27It got Ghost Lady of Snow Lake.
35:29It got Chinatown Tunnels.
35:31Now there's Bit Man.
35:33Blood albino in the forest.
35:35We're like in the fucking forest.
35:37I know, pretty creepy.
35:39We don't need to be worried, right?
35:41Nah, it's chill.
35:43Fuck all that.
35:44When's the last time on some real shit,
35:46OG shit y'all played Never Have I Ever?
35:50Ooh, I love that game. Let's play.
35:51I hate that game.
35:53I am deaf.
35:54Just real quick, real quick.
35:55Quick rep.
35:55Never have I ever donated a thong on a Saturday.
36:04Okay?
36:06No.
36:07That's crazy.
36:07Okay, I got a good one.
36:09Never have I ever seen a blood albino.
36:20Wait, really?
36:21Have you seen a blood albino before?
36:23Did you hear that?
36:27They're in the trees.
36:28Whoa.
36:28They're in the trees.
36:29They're in the trees.
36:30They're in the trees.
36:30They're in the trees.
36:30What?
36:31What are you talking about?
36:33Run, run, run, run, run, run, run.
36:34Just keep going.
36:39I knew we'd meet again.
36:40Blood albino motherfucker.
36:44Blood albino motherfucker.
36:45I knew we'd meet again.
36:47Oh my God.
36:48Oh my God.
36:49Oh my God.
36:49Oh my God.
36:50Wheelchair middle.
36:52Wheelchair middle.
37:01This in arrow my three go to the other side!
37:04Oh like yeah, please.
37:11My turn.
37:12Yeah.
37:15What's your favorite conspiracy theory.
37:20Okay, so my uncle Auggie thinks that there's a shady secret organization that's running all of San Francisco.
37:28Really?
37:29Yeah.
37:29Like, they're the ones responsible for all the toxic land at Hunter's Point and TI.
37:35Wow.
37:36Yeah, all that weird shit going on vibe land.
37:41Field agents and monsters and Sasquatch and shit.
37:46I mean, he's a fucking nub, but I love the guy.
37:50A lot of drugs during the summer of love.
37:53Listen, your uncle kind of sounds like my kind of guy.
37:57I'm sorry.
37:58Ew, what the fuck?
38:00I mean, shit, I can introduce you to him if you like.
38:03I can set y'all up and go on a double date with your mom or something.
38:08No, my mom.
38:09Yes, your mom.
38:10Oh, no, sorry, was that too far?
38:11Too far.
38:11Yeah, it was too far, my bad.
38:14Not mommy.
38:15Yes, mommy.
38:18I saw it in pictures.
38:20Oh, my gosh.
38:21Can I tell you one more thing about Uncle Augie or are we over him?
38:24Yes, let's talk more about Uncle Augie.
38:27So I peeped your jacket.
38:30Yeah.
38:32You remember when Tatiana the Tiger fucked those two dudes up at the San Francisco Zoo?
38:36Yeah.
38:39Well, Uncle Augie and I were there that day, and he's got a whole bunch of conspiracy theories
38:46about that.
38:53Uh, did you hear me, Butterfly?
38:56What?
38:58Oh, it's from your third favorite Tarantino movie.
39:10Coconut in it.
39:11Put the contrast between that and the, like, you feel the full spectrum.
39:14I like the name.
39:15She Bangs?
39:16Yeah.
39:16Ricky Martin.
39:17What up, Nino?
39:17What up, dog?
39:19I saw one called Titty Monkey Milk.
39:25Hey.
39:25Hey, what's up, Nino?
39:27Nothing.
39:27How are you?
39:28Pretty good.
39:28How are you all doing?
39:29Good.
39:29It was good.
39:29Pretty chill.
39:30I'm looking crazy.
39:31It was good.
39:31How's everything?
39:32Pretty good.
39:32Just this?
39:33That's good.
39:33Ah, tequila juice.
39:35What's up, big dog?
39:38I got you right here.
40:14Give me your goddamn purse!
40:15No!
40:16No, give me my purse, you bitch!
40:17Let go of this shit!
40:23Bitman, help!
40:27It's okay, baby.
40:29I got this.
40:35No!
40:36Bitman, stop here!
40:37Take it!
40:38I'm sorry!
40:38Bitman, no!
40:41Oh, my God!
40:44Fuck him up!
40:47Fuck him up!
40:49Oh, my God!
40:50Oh, my God!
40:50Oh, my God!
40:51Oh, my God!
40:52When Bitman's not in the streets of VibeLand fighting crime, he's getting absolutely cooked
40:58off Bang Bangs, made locally here in VibeLand.
41:02Bang Bang.
41:04So refreshing.
41:07Fuck yeah.
41:09Do you want to bang?
41:11Do you want to bang?
41:15Do you want to bang?
41:35Blue lights, blue lights, blue lights, blue lights, blue lights, blue lights, blue lights with the homies outside in the
41:59moonlight, we've been trying to link up for like two nights, low battery power baby, ooh yikes,
42:04but I'm charged up and the bars suck, let's get out of here someplace where it's all us, hit my
42:10homegirl, care for the stardust, hit my homeboy.
42:13It was a nice reunion, I had a good time. It was good. Yeah. It was nice seeing everyone, talking
42:18to everyone and just hanging out. Wasn't little Thomas so cute? Oh my god, the cutest. His little cheeks are
42:25just so squishable. I just wanted to grab him. I know. He was a little stinky towards the end of
42:31the night though. I know, are they putting him formula?
42:34I'm serious now. How'd you blow the bathroom up like that, Gazelle? Like, what'd you have for lunch?
42:40What? It was pretty foul, Gazelle. I did not know you could do that. It wasn't me. I had a
42:44salad for lunch. There was no way I'd stunk up the bathroom.
42:48There had to have been like, you smell like a dead rat.
42:50I only had a salad. And maybe a piece of carrot. Okay? So I know for a fact, it wasn't
42:57my poop that stank. Secondly, I didn't even poop. So why would you even think that I was me? Also,
43:05I didn't even use the bathroom. All I did was smell the potpourri. The potpourri. Whatever it's called. All I
43:12know is that it wasn't me.
43:13So what I've been doing over the past few years after the music thing kind of went away is I've
43:19been middlemanning and negotiating different disputes between family members and friends.
43:25Typically in the fecal realm, this is one of the most broken cases that I've encountered in a while.
43:33This is good tea. Thank you.
43:36Let's get into it. I'll start with you, Miss.
43:40You said that you had a salad.
43:44Could you be a little more specific with us on what was in the salad?
43:48It was just a green goddess salad.
43:53All there was in it was lettuce, avocado, and tomatoes.
44:00How many tomatoes?
44:04Two at best.
44:07I believe she has a point with the fact that that is a pushing agent and that maybe you did
44:12need to use the restroom.
44:15I didn't poop.
44:19We'll move on to you, Miss.
44:22Are you familiar with the term whoever smelt it dealt it?
44:28Of course. That's like the first thing you learned growing up.
44:31Like, how old are we?
44:32Well, in my professional field, you find that as archaic as that term is, it actually rings true in most
44:41friend and family groups.
44:43So are you trying to say it was me that did it?
44:44I'm not saying anything.
44:45It kind of sounds like you are, and like I said, I passed by the bathroom and I saw what
44:50I saw.
44:51You're being very defensive right now?
44:52I mean, you can call it what you want, but I don't like this tone of yours.
44:55Well, defense mechanisms are common in people that often blow up housewarming parties and infiltrate with feces.
45:07It's the dead rat comment.
45:10I'm like not even sure how this became a thing.
45:15I didn't poop.
45:17Chaos in downtown San Francisco as a giant crab has ripped through a cable car and several buildings.
45:30I pulled up in a whip with my chick and some niggas who gon' empty out a clip if you
45:35snitch on the clip.
45:36I ain't payin' for no drip, I be payin' for my dudes.
45:40Blowin' killer, I be ridein' for my dudes.
45:42That's my nigga, I just seen him say I did.
45:45When I grow a dog, I wanna be like you.
45:48Yeah, but I'm built different.
45:50I'm just robin' with my dudes.
45:54Hi, it's me. Leave a message.
45:55Hey, Tam.
45:57Um, just wanted to call you.
46:01Tell you that I don't blame you for how we ended in here.
46:08And that I'll let Junebug know how much we tried to keep it together after he ate.
46:17I'll be giving him a big hug for you.
46:20Take care.
46:39I'm coming, son.
46:47Dad.
46:49Junebug?
46:51Is that the water?
46:52I...
46:53I...
46:53I...
46:55I...
46:56I...
46:58I...
46:59I...
47:00I...
47:02I...
47:04I...
47:06I...
47:16I...
47:18I...
47:18I...
47:18I...
47:18I...
47:18I...
47:19Am I dead?
47:21Dead.
47:50Yeah, all the board.
48:02It's okay dad, I'm okay, but it's not safe for you down here.
48:08Troom, what are you talking about?
48:10The crazy crab.
48:11He'll tear you apart.
48:13The crazy crab?
48:18Son, what is going on?
48:28Jumbo, wait!
48:29You need to go home now dad.
48:31Tell mommy I love her.
48:33I protect you two now.
48:34Wait, wait, no!
48:36Jumbo!
48:50Jumbo!
48:50Jumbo!
48:51No!
48:52Jumbo!
48:53Wait, no!
48:54Wait, no!
48:55Jumbo!
48:55Wait, no!
48:55Wait, no!
48:57Jumbo!
48:57Jumbo!
48:58Jumbo!
49:00Jumbo!
49:00Jumbo!
49:01Jumbo!
49:02Jumbo!
49:10Jumbo!
49:11James?
49:13James are you there?
49:15What the fuck?
49:19hi tammy is everything okay yeah it's after midnight i think everything is okay actually
49:26i'll call you back in the morning
49:44let's do this
49:48so
49:57so
50:01so
50:31so
50:37so
50:43so
50:51so
50:55so
51:07so
51:17so
51:28so
51:33so it's not the furry back i could deal with the hair
51:37whoa but it's the breath and the toenails them claws were clawing
51:41wait who's this your tinder date no the yeti but i mean same thing oh anyways this is my stop
51:47i'll see you later bye
51:58hello
52:05hello
52:06hello
52:06hello
52:15hello
52:20hello
52:21hello
52:22hello
52:24hello
52:51hello
52:52hello
52:55hello
52:55oh hey guys
52:57what's up
52:58what are you up to
53:01the use
53:02i fire up later
53:04yeah for sure hit us
53:06okay sure
53:07bye good to see you
53:08later
53:09good friend
53:33hello
53:45hello
53:47hello
53:47hello
54:00it's pretty good stuff
54:01my boy
54:02psycho got me that i think it's got meth in it or something
54:08i'm kidding
54:09i'm kidding i'm kidding it didn't put meth in it i think
54:22just
54:28beep
54:28beep
54:29beep
54:29beep
54:29beep
54:29beep
54:29beep
54:44Whoa, whoa, what the fuck? Who the fuck is that?
54:51Is that the same band from earlier?
54:53What?
54:54That's the same fucking band from earlier.
54:57The one I saw at Whisberger.
54:58Are you sure?
54:59Yes, I'm sure. I've been seeing it all fucking night.
55:01Okay.
55:09Oh my god, I think someone's getting out.
55:11This is so fucking creepy.
55:13Okay, hold on.
55:14Wait, wait, no.
55:15I got this.
55:24I got this.
55:25I got this.
55:48Yo, my man, are you good?
55:49Ah!
56:07Oh my god, my god.
56:10Oh my god.
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