- 16 hours ago
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00:21Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the Royal Rumble match.
00:25Introducing first, on the way to the ring, from St. Louis, Missouri, weighing in at 245 pounds, Randy Orton.
00:55Now it's time to shine, I'm gonna take what's mine, you're gonna play my life.
01:13They try so hard to follow, but no one can.
01:21Inside you are so hollow, you understand.
01:28Hey, nothing you can say, nothing's gonna change what you've done to me.
01:35Now it's time to shine, I'm gonna take what's mine, while you're burning inside my life.
02:02Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the Royal Rumble match.
02:07Introducing first, on the way to the ring, residing in Atlanta, Georgia, weighing in at 234 pounds, Chris Benoit.
02:19Now it's time for the Royal Rumble match.
03:13He's from Slippery Dill.
03:21I think I know who's gonna win this one, JR.
03:24Oh, really?
03:26Enlighten us, Dave.
03:27Wait a second.
03:28Why are you so eager to hear my predictions?
03:31Because I wanna know who's gonna win.
03:33And nine times out of ten, it's not the superstar you picked.
03:44Force of nature?
03:46More like a freak of nature, if you ask me.
03:48The fact that Batista even considers himself a main eventer is ridiculous.
03:52He's a world heavyweight champion.
03:55In my book, as long as you wear that crown around your waist, you're the biggest thing in the business
04:01at that moment.
04:01Come on, JR.
04:03Haven't you ever heard of a fluke champion?
04:06Batista got lucky.
04:07You don't get in the Hall of Fame for being lucky.
04:10No, you don't.
04:11And you don't get there on a fluke.
04:13But Batista's the real deal.
04:15And that's why it wouldn't surprise me one bit to see him inducted after a long and distinguished career.
04:22President Watt thinks he's the toughest superstar in the WWE.
04:25But I think he's lying to us, too.
04:35Boy, Booker T will tell you how great he is until your jack-dumb ears fall.
04:40But quite frankly, I'd rather see him put up or shut up.
04:43What are you talking about, JR?
04:45He's a five-time WCW champion.
04:48That's not funny enough.
04:49I don't know what is.
04:51WCW was a long time ago.
04:54I think it's high-time Booker T.
04:56Stop crying.
04:57Oh, that's it.
04:58He's out of the ring.
04:59And that means he's out of the match, too.
05:01This capacity crowd is speaking their opinions known tonight.
05:05They sure are, JR.
05:07And I'd love to hear it.
05:08He's been removed from the ring and from contention in this match.
05:12Watch out.
05:13He reversed it.
05:15There he goes.
05:16He's out of the match.
05:21I can't believe he countered that one.
05:30I think I can safely say that the Boogeyman is, without that, one of the most unique superstars in WWE.
05:38Unique?
05:39JR, the guy's missing half his teeth.
05:42He smashes clocks over his head.
05:43And I don't know what's in that smoking stamp of his, but I don't think it's doing his brain any
05:48favors.
05:48I'm not going to say I'd invite him over for Sonny Jenner and Norman O'Connor.
05:53That's it.
05:54That's it.
05:55The match is over for that particular superstar.
06:05I can't believe they let someone like Kid Cash compete in WWE.
06:09Shouldn't it be some sort of sign at the locker room entrance?
06:11He must be this big to enter.
06:13Kid Cash might not be the big over-the-top rope.
06:16Up and down to the floor.
06:17That's an elimination.
06:23He's over the top rope.
06:25Down to the floor and out of this match.
06:34I've got to say, JR, I'm really impressed by what we've seen here tonight.
06:38How could you not be, King?
06:40These are some of the finest athletes in all of the world.
06:45I've got to say, JR, I've got to say, this has been a great match so far.
06:49It has a deep king, and I think it's only going to get better from here on out.
07:00I think this crowd, he doesn't look too happy about it, but an elimination is an elimination.
07:13This match has the ability to be an instant classic, but I think these fans are too stupid to realize
07:18it.
07:19How can you say that, King?
07:20How can you insult the intelligence of these WWE fans?
07:25Well, I heard that we gave them an IQ test, and the results came back negative.
07:29Folks, I've got to apologize for the King here tonight.
07:32I think he must have gotten up on the wrong side of somebody else's bed this morning.
07:39Whoa!
07:43These superstars sure aren't going easy on each other here tonight.
07:46What's expected?
07:47This isn't bad luck, you know.
07:49We're really, JR.
07:51Yeah, tell me more about your in-ring experience.
07:54Well, I've got a pinfall victory over Triple H to my credit.
07:59How about you?
08:00We saw that one coming.
08:08Well, from the looks of things, it's not hard to tell how this one's going to go.
08:12What are you talking about, King?
08:13I think this is still an extremely competitive match that could go either way.
08:19Tell, JR, it's not as long as the only exercise you get is stretching the truth or jumping to conclusion.
08:25Well, judging from the shape I'm in, I don't appear to be doing too much of either, King.
08:31You're looking pretty good, though, I must say.
08:35I think these superstars are getting some feedback from the crowd, JR.
08:39Nothing wrong with that, King.
08:40That's what they like to hear.
08:49So, how do you think this one's going to turn out, JR?
08:51Honestly, King, I have absolutely no idea.
08:55Anything that happens here in the club, he doesn't leave.
08:57But you've got to have a guess, right?
08:59I might, but I'd rather keep it to myself, if it's all the same to you, King.
09:05He just got tossed out rather unceremoniously, in my opinion.
09:09Look at him beating off the energy from this capacity crowd.
09:13He's unstoppable.
09:14You can't ever count on these fans, JR.
09:16They're fickle, and they'll abandon you in a heartbeat.
09:28He's not going to get caught with that one.
09:35Well, there's one less superstar in this match now.
09:40That went nowhere.
09:46He sure is, King.
09:47And that scissors kick just might do it.
09:55He's siding up his opponent.
09:58This could be it.
09:59There it is, JR.
10:00His patented scissors kick.
10:06What a counter.
10:13That's one fewer superstar in this match.
10:19He countered that one perfectly.
10:29Not just being a match, JR.
10:31I think these superstars generally hate each other.
10:34There's no love lost between these competitors.
10:37That's for sure.
10:38If looks could kill, Simba.
10:41We'll be pushing up Daisy's right now.
10:43And you've got to admit, that makes for a much more interesting match, JR.
10:47It sure does.
10:48Rides up to the center side, can settle the differences in the ring, and leave the match.
11:02This is a classic matchup, King.
11:04I'm so glad the WWE...
11:07Wow!
11:07Would you look at this, JR?
11:09He's choking the heck out of his opponent with that ring rope.
11:11Well, folks, I know this isn't ballet, but this just isn't right.
11:16Looks like his hopes of winning this one have been shattered, JR.
11:18Wow!
11:19Listen to these fans, JR!
11:21You can fool some of the people all the time, and all the people some of the time.
11:26But there's no fooling the WWE fans at all.
11:36Well, I think it's obvious to me that what Viscera really loves is a good all-you-can-eat buffet.
11:41But then again, so do a lot of these fans.
11:43So maybe it makes sense after all.
11:45Viscera calls himself the world's largest love machine.
11:48But I find it hard to believe that the ladies would go for someone like him.
11:52I know.
11:52Talk about adding insult to injury, tossed out of the ring, and the match.
12:03Do you ever think you'd be watching these superstars compete against each other here tonight, JR?
12:08I had a feeling to pass it with a cross sooner or later, and I'm glad I'm here to see
12:13you.
12:13Me too.
12:14It almost makes it worth having to sit next to you and listen to those corny expressions of yours.
12:19What the heck is a government mule anyway?
12:21It's what you get beat like.
12:23We're in the middle of a slobber knock.
12:25And if you don't have the guts to stick around, you might run like a scalded dog.
12:31Wow!
12:31He wasn't too gentle about throwing him out.
12:56He just doesn't have the strength to lift.
12:59He must be crazy thinking he could pick him up like that.
13:09After some of the things we've seen in this ring, JR, I think we'd better remind him.
13:13Oh, come on!
13:14What are you thinking?
13:15That's what happens when we're...
13:17I don't believe it!
13:18He's been eliminated!
13:22Oh, no!
13:24This is terrible!
13:25You can't let your opponent build this kind of momentum!
13:27Well, all I can say is someone's been eating their vitamins and saying their prayers.
13:39Man, JR, when I think about the kind of career show Benjamin's already had, I can't think
13:44of many other superstars who have become bigger successes in such a short time.
13:48Or bigger jackets.
13:50Benjamin's accomplishments are indisputable.
13:52But that arrogant attitude of his is just as much a part of his character as his title
13:59reigns.
14:05Listen to the crowd, JR.
14:07I think they've got something to say to these superstars.
14:10And if they're smart, they'll listen.
14:12And there's the elimination!
14:15There's the rehearsal!
14:23Look at this, JR!
14:24Can you imagine SmackDown putting on a match half as good as this?
14:28No disrespect intended.
14:30Or a SmackDown follow, but no idea.
14:33That's what we believe.
14:34The dominant brand is working in the game.
14:37And you hit the nail right on the head there, JR.
14:40The dominant brand.
14:41Not the slightly better brand or the sort of superior brand.
14:47He might as well start walking back to the locker room.
14:50He's out of this match.
14:59I'd ask you who you want to win this matchup, JR.
15:01But it's been pretty obvious since the start of the show who you're going for.
15:05I'm trying to remain as objective as I can, Kane.
15:08Quite frankly, I'd rather see a good contender matchup than see if the difference is...
15:13Oh my gosh!
15:14He's been eliminated from the match!
15:23You can look at any professional sport you want, JR.
15:26You won't...
15:27This match has come to an abrupt end for that superstar.
15:30Well, you can't ever accuse the WWE fans of being shot up and over in an 11-year-old!
15:44Can you believe we actually get paid to do this job, JR?
15:47It's like a dream come true, King.
15:50Except when I can sit here and listen to you and rule over the deep.
15:53Come on, JR!
15:54You know I'm helpless when it comes to puppies!
15:57Oh, I know, King.
15:59And that's why I'm bringing a picture of ice water out here with me next time.
16:02Mr. Kennedy!
16:09I swear, every time I see Mark Henry, he just looks bigger and dimmer.
16:16He's the world's biggest longhorn.
16:18You're not kidding, JR.
16:20If I was his opponent, I wouldn't care if I won or not.
16:22Just surviving the match would be enough for me.
16:25Well, as intimidating as the world's strongest man might be,
16:29I don't think that's an attitude you'll find in a WWE locker.
16:33Oh, man!
16:34This is an excruciating...
16:36No, it's set!
16:37...but effective method of winning a match!
16:40Yeah, and it's a sure-fire method of birth control, too!
16:50You talk about ruthless aggression.
16:52Look at the way these superstars have been going after each other.
16:54They're not playing with kids alone.
16:57That's just cool.
16:58We knew we were going to see a heck of a match,
17:00but this might turn out the big game.
17:01No.
17:02Go ahead and say it, JR.
17:04All right, I will.
17:05I think this has got all the mentions of a bona fide slobber knocker.
17:11It's like he ran his opponent's mind!
17:21These superstars are beating the heck out of each other,
17:23and this crowd can't get enough of it!
17:25It's what they paid to see, King,
17:27and they're getting their money's worth tonight.
17:30They sure are, JR.
17:31There's no question these superstars are earning their paycheck.
17:41So, King, any predictions about the outcome of this match?
17:45Oh, no.
17:46Every time I make a guess, I say who's going to win.
17:48I never hear the end of it from you.
17:50Maybe that wouldn't hit.
17:57He countered that and made it look easy.
18:10I'll agree with you about the larger part, JR.
18:13He's about as wide as he is tall.
18:16I'd say he should take up sumo wrestling,
18:18but I don't want to see him in a Lloyd Claw.
18:20No one's ever going to accuse Bixiel of being a pretty little ballerina.
18:24I think he's a great deal more agile than you can infetish him.
18:28Well, he couldn't be much less.
18:30He's got all the grace of a bull elephant and half the size.
18:33His opponent telegraphed that one.
18:42If one of these superstars starts to build momentum,
18:46it could be the beginning of the end of this match.
18:49That's right, JR.
18:50You don't see a lot of matches running with one or two big moves.
18:54You sure don't.
18:55You've got to lay the groundwork first.
19:04Boy, what a match.
19:06I wouldn't even hazard a guess as to who's going to win this thing.
19:10What?
19:11Have you got both your contacts and one I, JR?
19:14It's been obvious to me since the start of the match.
19:16Oh, really?
19:18Well, then, why don't you just enlighten the rest of us, King?
19:22No way.
19:22I can already tell this is going to be a great match.
19:25And I don't want to ruin the ending for you.
19:27You're too kind, King.
19:28You're also full of horse manure, as far as I can tell.
19:40Boy, it's obvious these superstars have done their homework on each other.
19:43They sure have.
19:45And this is one hell of an exam.
19:47Let's hope it's not their final exam, JR.
19:49I'd love to see them go at it again.
19:51Well, if I think the fans have their way,
19:53you'll get your wish, King.
19:55You're not going to get him a half.
19:57He reversed it!
20:08What a disgusting, despicable human being is Snitsky.
20:13I don't even know if you can call him a human being.
20:16He seems more like a monster, ain't it?
20:18Why do you do that, JR?
20:20Every time you don't like someone, you call him a monster.
20:23Just because Snitsky's a big, strong guy,
20:26doesn't mean you have to call him names.
20:35I don't think these superstars have any intention
20:38of taking it easy on each other tonight.
20:56Here's your winner, Kirk Engel!
21:21Here's your winner, Kirk Engel!
21:34Here's your winner, Kirk Engel!
21:35Here's your winner, Kirk Engel!
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