- 29 minutes ago
Bad Company S01E06
Category
ðĨ
Short filmTranscript
00:01The Argyle is having a few tiny financial issues.
00:04When I do iron out these financial issues, I get my job back, yes?
00:07Yes, yes, yes.
00:07Christian, this is Nick, CEO of Chevy's Chicken.
00:10So here's the pitch.
00:11Chevy's Chicken sponsors the Argyle Theatre.
00:14I think we might have a deal.
00:15Dad said Mum went psycho after having me.
00:17He had to go.
00:18I know he's your dad, but trust me, he's not a good guy.
00:21Please don't let him, Melissa Catecute.
00:22Reminds me of the time Papa took me to Paris.
00:24Oh, I remember when Papa took me to Paris.
00:26Papa took me to Paris.
00:27He said to me, you're...
00:29Raiden Lowe, captain of the Tigers, wants to act.
00:32Caitlin Allard from the Marvel movies.
00:33Oh, why is everyone obsessed with her?
00:35I want to be in whatever play she's in.
00:37She wants to be in La Faison et Moite et AndrÃĐ.
00:40What?
00:40Instead of Margie.
00:41Christian, no.
01:01This is supposed to be my big moment, you know?
01:04It's Margie Argyle, not Caitlin Argyle.
01:06Papa didn't even marry her mother.
01:09I'm Margie Argy.
01:10Jacob found her here this morning.
01:12I'm Margie Argy.
01:12There she is.
01:13Margie, where the hell have you been?
01:15Oh, here she is.
01:16Lady Macbeth, the architect of my downfall.
01:20Oh, please, you're the architect of my downfall.
01:22Neither of you are architects.
01:23You're both strong women in the industry.
01:25Engineer of my sorrow.
01:27What is that?
01:28Is that Sherry?
01:29Who goes on a Sherry bench?
01:30Your nana.
01:33Okay, get her out of here, please.
01:35Back to the Argyle.
01:36She's an embarrassment.
01:37Oh, sorry, embarrassment.
01:38Yeah.
01:38Sorry, embarrassment, everyone.
01:40Jacob.
01:41Grab that.
01:41No!
01:42Yes, I'll grab that.
01:43Come on, Christian.
01:45Okay, mum's overdone it.
01:46Okay, here we go.
01:48We should know many loved ones.
01:49Okay.
01:50Remember?
01:50Bring it up.
01:55Where have you been?
01:56Oh, my God.
01:57I went to this four-day party in Castle, Maine.
01:59It went off.
02:00I actually hung out with this really cool, aspiring playwright.
02:03He was like, I love your stuff.
02:05Oh, my God.
02:06Get it together, Margie, please.
02:08You're letting everyone down.
02:09Look at these two.
02:10Look how sad they are.
02:11Look at Jacob's little face.
02:12We need you to step up and direct this show like only you can.
02:16Oh, yeah.
02:17I really want to get up and direct my sister in a play I was supposed to be in.
02:20Thanks.
02:21Well, I mean, it is sold out and the whole world's watching our little theatre,
02:24but if you don't want to be part of that,
02:26then we'll just let Caitlin swoop in and take all the glory.
02:29Sold out?
02:30Mm-hmm.
02:32The whole world.
02:33Yeah.
02:34Okay, I'll do it for those guys.
02:36Okay.
02:36But I need four long blacks, unlimited access to your work credit card,
02:40a two-hour sleep, and pass me that bin.
02:43Oh, God.
02:46Get the flag, Christian.
02:47Got it, got it.
02:50Sorry.
02:52Yay, we have a show.
02:54Everything's as it should be.
02:55You all right?
02:56Get the flag!
02:57Yep, got it.
02:58Oh, big one, isn't it?
03:00Oh, God.
03:06Hey, this is Ryan.
03:07Leave a message.
03:08Ryan, are you getting any of my messages?
03:10Can you please just call me?
03:12I'm worried sick.
03:14Okay, Brayden, let's try it again.
03:17Feeling better?
03:18I could run a marathon.
03:19I...
03:23I...
03:25I...
03:25Oh, yeah, that's it.
03:27That's it.
03:28I...
03:29am...
03:31I am a serf no more, is the line.
03:34Yep, that's the line, Brayden.
03:35You're killing it, Brayden.
03:36He doesn't know the lines.
03:38I know, I know.
03:38And where is my famous sister, Caitlin?
03:40She's still on a first-class flight out here.
03:42First-class flight?
03:43I only ever get to go premium economy.
03:44Ah!
03:45That's all right, I've got this.
03:46Okay, look, everyone, just bring it in.
03:47Bring it in.
03:48Okay, now, obviously, we're up against it
03:49because of decisions that have been made
03:51by third parties who do not understand what we do.
03:53Julia.
03:54Bitch.
03:54I am a serf no more.
03:56Yes, Brayden, here we go.
03:59Now, you move stage left.
04:00This is when we come alive
04:02and we pull together
04:03and we become the beat of the same...
04:06Oh!
04:07Oh, oh!
04:08Ooh.
04:09Oh.
04:10I think we'll be fine.
04:11We're just given some performance-enhancing drugs
04:13or something.
04:13He is badly injured, Julia.
04:15You're kicking leg too, isn't it?
04:16Now, how bad do you think it is?
04:18Wow, we're in so much trouble.
04:20The football club is going to sue our asses.
04:22Well, what's your big idea now, hey?
04:24You put Caitlin in instead of me.
04:26We're down a cast member.
04:27We need Ryan.
04:28Well, that's a shame, isn't it?
04:29Because thanks to you, I don't know where Ryan is.
04:31I didn't do anything.
04:32It was your nepotism policy.
04:34God, Papa's legacy is just going down the toilet.
04:36Do you know what?
04:37I'm a little tired of hearing about Papa.
04:39Was he even French?
04:40No.
04:41Because do you know what we call Papas in Australia?
04:43We call them Dads.
04:44Not Papas or Fafas or Dadas.
04:47Dads.
04:47When have I ever said Dadah or Fafah?
04:49When have I ever walked into this office and said Dadah or Fafah?
04:52I haven't said it.
04:52Have you even been to Paris?
04:53I've been there.
04:54I've been lots of times.
04:54Okay, okay, whoa, everyone's really frazzled right now.
04:58Why don't we just chill out and come back to this tomorrow?
05:02I think I need a Valium Spritz.
05:03So do I.
05:04Thanks for mansplaining my emotions.
05:07Fafah took me to Paris.
05:08Oh, Fafah, fuck off.
05:11Mansplaining.
05:12Do you know what mansplaining is?
05:27Morning, everyone.
05:28I can feel the buzz of show day in the air.
05:30It is electric.
05:31How's the hangover?
05:32I don't get hangovers.
05:33I just get more ideas.
05:34Has anyone heard from Ryan?
05:35He's still not answering any of my texts or calls.
05:38No, sorry.
05:39No, sorry.
05:41Would you like a cup of tea, Julia?
05:43Um, yes, please.
05:46Thank you, Jacob.
05:47That's very kind of you.
05:49Don't worry, J-Mac.
05:50We'll find him.
05:50Mine too.
05:51Ryan is missing.
05:53Oh, I just spoke to him.
05:54What?
05:54What?
05:54Yeah, he let me in on this amazing deal where I can use my super to invest in a condo.
05:59No.
06:00I just sent the paperwork through.
06:01I'm headed to the Gold Coast.
06:04Donna.
06:04No, Donna, I need to see that contract.
06:07Okay, here it is.
06:08Let me have a look.
06:10Ryan McNamara Holdings.
06:12Tom's put the business in Ryan's name because he's been bankrupt so often.
06:15God, Tom, you dodgy piece of shit.
06:17Men.
06:18Pigs.
06:19Don't worry, Donna.
06:20There's a 48-hour cooling-off period.
06:22I will get you out of this.
06:23I just told Ryan that I'll pull out of the deal unless he speaks to you.
06:26Oh, there you go.
06:27That's great.
06:27But he'll only speak to you, Maggie.
06:29Oh.
06:30Yeah, we do have a really strong connection.
06:32Where is he?
06:32They're at a hotel by the airport, but they're flying outside.
06:34Oh, go.
06:35I'm coming and I'm driving.
06:36There's no guarantee you haven't been on the Sherry's this morning.
06:39I've had two.
06:40Two?
06:41I had three.
06:42I had three.
06:43This morning?
06:43One of them's medicinal.
06:45I've got this thing at the moment in my throat.
06:47Anyway, in the end it was viral.
06:48I was just so worried about my vocal cords.
06:50I cannot believe I'm in a Tesla.
06:52I feel soiled.
06:53That might have been the Sherry's.
06:54You need to burn sage or something.
06:57Oh, quick.
06:58There they are.
06:58Oh.
06:59It's the button, Maggie.
07:01It's that button.
07:02There's no button.
07:03There's a button on the handle.
07:04Where?
07:04Just this button.
07:06Oh, God.
07:06Out.
07:08Stop right there.
07:09Oh, yeah.
07:09All right, Maggie.
07:10We're not in one of your scenes.
07:11Julia.
07:12How do you do, young lady?
07:13Good, thanks.
07:14What is this, Tom?
07:15What are you doing?
07:15Dragging our son into one of your shonky Ponzi schemes.
07:18So you never mum?
07:18You completely betrayed me.
07:19Let's go, Dad.
07:20So immoral, Julie.
07:21Immoral?
07:22You're the bankrupt liar with more ex-wives than Nicolas Cage.
07:25You're a wonderful actor.
07:26And you've got a woman's arse.
07:27Yeah, a real mature mum.
07:28Oh, check the label.
07:29Those genes are from witchery.
07:30Are you having one of your little episodes?
07:32You know, she did this after Ryan was born.
07:34Gets hysterical.
07:35Oh, how dare you?
07:37I mean, all right, I wasn't coping.
07:39But only because you were never home.
07:40Why would I want to be home when it was just a guilt trip?
07:42Yeah, you really pushed him out, Mum.
07:44Did she crush your creative spirit, Tom?
07:46Yes.
07:47You get it.
07:48Yeah, I get it.
07:49I get you.
07:51You know, you're the sort of person who thinks they're creative
07:53but have never had an original idea.
07:55You would have met Julia at university
07:57and made her do all your work for you
07:59because you sucked her in over some sort of sob story.
08:01What was it?
08:02My rich dad doesn't love me.
08:04Was that it?
08:05And, of course, the relationship was all about you
08:07until Ryan came along.
08:08And then you just had to do a few things to help out with the baby,
08:11but you couldn't.
08:12And when Julia got quite rightly upset, you called her a psycho
08:15and then moved on to, what was it, someone a little bit younger,
08:18someone a little bit funner, the nanny?
08:19What a walking cliche.
08:21And now that you're starting to bald,
08:22the list of available women is drying up.
08:24So now it's time to circle back around to Ryan,
08:26who actually is creative and vulnerable and ruin his life.
08:29But the most important thing is to skip out just in the nick of time
08:32before people realise the real truth,
08:35inside is an empty void.
08:37Ryan, your part in L'Episagne MoitiÃĐ
08:40is available again if you'd like it.
08:42I'll be in a Tesla.
08:44Now that's a monologue.
08:49One open.
08:52It's push the button and then pull the handle.
08:55Push the button, the handle pops out, pull the handle.
08:57I know it should be simpler.
08:59It should be simpler.
09:05Wow, there's media everywhere.
09:07Caitlin will be here in a second.
09:09We are a united front.
09:10Why is she getting flowers for stealing Margie's show?
09:13Just play along with it, Jacob, please.
09:14She hasn't even rehearsed yet.
09:16She doesn't need to rehearse.
09:16She knows the work inside out from Papa.
09:18Caitlin!
09:20We're overthrilled to have you here.
09:22Welcome to the Argyle Theatre.
09:23Sorry, where's my sister?
09:24She's in a meeting now.
09:26Okay, we have presents for you.
09:27Allergic.
09:29Right.
09:29Allergic to those.
09:31Putting them in the bin.
09:32Okay, shall we adjourn to the...
09:35Shall we...
09:35Let's sit down.
09:36How about I take you through the run sheet for tonight?
09:39Acts 1 through 7 there.
09:40Didn't it play as had 7 acts?
09:42She's got it.
09:43Just a note as well.
09:44Act 7 is when the Chevy's chicken mascot will enter the stage.
09:47We're no longer doing that.
09:49What?
09:49I've just become an ambassador for vegan beauty products, so...
09:52Oh, I didn't know you were vegan.
09:53I'm optically vegan, which means no meat on the stage or anywhere in the building.
09:58So, actually, could you do a meat sweep, you guys?
10:01What's a meat sweep?
10:02There is actually some chicken nuggets in the freezer.
10:04Happy for you to take those.
10:05Caitlin, Caitlin.
10:05Sorry, just a big sponsorship deal like this is kind of keeping Papa's Theatre open.
10:10Okay.
10:11Yeah.
10:11I can walk.
10:12Would you like me to walk?
10:13No, no, we'll lose the chicken.
10:14We'll figure something out.
10:15No big deal.
10:16Okay.
10:17Good.
10:17Okay.
10:18Then it's time for my press conference.
10:19Sure.
10:23What just happened?
10:25Margie, maybe don't play with it.
10:27It's not a toy.
10:27What's this do?
10:28Margie, listen.
10:30I just wanted to say thank you.
10:33Appreciate that.
10:33I'm sorry about the nepo stuff.
10:35Okay.
10:36Mum, I can't get the handle.
10:37I've told you a million times.
10:38You push it in.
10:39I'm literally pushing.
10:41That's what I'm doing.
10:42It doesn't...
10:46Dad's crying, company's dissolved, and I'm back in the play.
10:49Can we get a feed?
10:50I'm hungry.
10:51There's nuggets in the freezer at the theatre.
10:55Put your belt on, please.
10:56Caitlin, Caitlin.
11:01Four hours on stage alone.
11:03You must be thrilled.
11:04Oh, my God.
11:05I just can't even tell you.
11:06And you're doing the role instead of your sister, Margie?
11:08Thank God you're back.
11:09Caitlin.
11:10Wow.
11:10What's going on here?
11:11I mean, I basically grew up here.
11:14Okay, Caitlin seems to have organised her own press conference.
11:17For some reason, she's very tough, Margie.
11:19Great publicity, though.
11:20How many people are here?
11:21Look at her.
11:22Wow.
11:24Sweet.
11:25Looks like she's had a bit of work done.
11:26Hello.
11:27Hello.
11:29Look at you.
11:31Look at you.
11:32You look sweet.
11:33Well, I'm sorry.
11:35I just heard that you were going to do La Pise en Amote en Tres,
11:38and now I'm doing it.
11:39Oh, really?
11:39You didn't know it was me?
11:40No.
11:40Because it's been advertised as me for ages.
11:42Like, ages, no?
11:43I would never do that.
11:45Oh, you wouldn't.
11:45Okay, McNamara, new CEO of the Argyle Theatre.
11:48Welcome.
11:48And I'm her son.
11:49Caitlin.
11:51Carmel.
11:52Oh.
11:52Caitlin.
11:53Caitlin.
11:54First a photo.
11:55I'm Carmel.
11:56Caitlin.
11:56I'm Carmel.
11:59You could get a photo.
12:00You cannot imagine how thrilled I am to have secured Caitlin for this production.
12:04And Caitlin, why are you back to do your father's play?
12:07I remember when Papa took me to Paris during his La Pise en Amote en Tres.
12:10No, Papa took me to Paris.
12:11And he said to me, you'll do this one day and you'll do it better than me.
12:15Oh.
12:17If you'll excuse me.
12:19Caitlin.
12:19Caitlin, wait, wait, wait, wait.
12:20No, no.
12:21It was me.
12:22Papa took me to Paris.
12:23No, Papa took me to Paris.
12:25Papa took me to Paris.
12:26Papa took me to...
12:26No, Papa took me to Paris and we walked along the Seine.
12:29What?
12:30Hey?
12:31What?
12:31You're wrong, Margie.
12:32Papa took me to Paris.
12:34Apparently not.
12:41I need to talk to you about something.
12:43We can't have any Chevy's Chicken on stage or any Chevy's Chicken branding in the theatre
12:48or any Chevy's Chicken near Caitlin and I'm actually running late for the toilet so I probably
12:53should go.
12:53What?
12:54Are you kidding?
12:55We've already organised the chicken meal deal and I've got the Chevy's Chicken mascot
12:59sitting right there ready to go.
13:00She said if we didn't take it out of her contract she wouldn't get on stage.
13:03What was I supposed to do?
13:04Christian, did you try and negotiate?
13:06I came this close to negotiating.
13:09Yeah.
13:09You don't understand.
13:10This chicken deal was going to get the place back in the black then my job here is done
13:14and I could leave.
13:17Oh.
13:17What?
13:19No, I just didn't know you were leaving.
13:23That's all.
13:23I'm not leaving right now.
13:25Don't get sad.
13:26I'm not sad.
13:26I'm just, you know, I've learnt a lot from the mentor-mentee.
13:29We do work well together.
13:31We did great work on the chicken meal deal.
13:33It's a really good meal deal, Julia.
13:35Yeah.
13:36Could have had chips with it though.
13:37Absolutely should have had chips.
13:39I don't know how we missed that.
13:40Major oversight.
13:41Oh well, the show must go on, I guess.
13:49Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's performance of the B's on Moiti Ontario, starring Cailin
13:54Ally, will commence in 15 minutes.
13:56Can we get, um, can we get a special place?
13:59Yeah.
14:00Yeah.
14:00We'll do that.
14:01Poo.
14:03Paging Margie.
14:04If anyone sees Margie, can they send her backstage please?
14:07Anyone seen stage magic?
14:08She should be here.
14:13Ryan, darling, just wanted to wish you good luck.
14:15Oh my gosh, Mum.
14:16It's chookers.
14:17That was bad luck.
14:18Whatever.
14:19Let's just get all this out of our system, eh?
14:21System, Mum, this isn't some craze.
14:23It's literally forever.
14:25Wonderful.
14:27I'll just go and enrol you in a barista course then.
14:33Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's performance is solving, so please take your seats as quickly
14:37as possible.
14:38The show will commence in five minutes.
14:40It's so much for coming, it's so nice to see, isn't it?
14:48Some of the wealthiest people in Melbourne are in this, right?
14:51God, it's so thrilling.
14:53Our wealthiest board member is sitting next to you.
14:56This is like a networking orgy for you, Carmen.
14:59As I was saying, Phyllis, Caitlin's only doing this production because of me.
15:03It was actually me.
15:05And I have secured the most fabulous sponsorship deal with Chevy's Chickens.
15:09Again, that was me.
15:11I did that.
15:12I'm sorry, am I just your underling now, doing all your dirty work?
15:18Kate, Caitlin, I just wanted to say I'm a huge fan of you.
15:22It's an honour to be showing the stage.
15:24Please, please, don't speak to me or make eye contact until we're on stage.
15:28And even then, keep your distance.
15:29I'll be so far away from you, madam, my lady, my princess.
15:33Stop, stop, stop.
15:34Leave, leave now.
15:35Right now, yep, going.
15:38Put the wig on now.
15:39Put the wig on now.
15:40That's a five-minute call, everyone.
15:42That's five minutes until beginners.
15:45Have you seen Margie?
15:49Oh, my costume.
15:51What a waste.
15:53You okay, Mugs?
15:54Yeah.
15:55That's clearance.
15:56Stand by for the top of the show.
15:59Should be you up there, bub.
16:00Not Caitlin.
16:01Well, when are we going to have a conversation about me coming back to the bank?
16:06Shh, the play is fast.
16:07That was supposed to be.
16:08Shh, shh, shh.
16:09You said, shh, shh, shh.
16:11You said, shh, shh, shh, shh.
16:15You said, shh, shh, shh, shh.
16:27Mama, where is my mama?
16:32Is she buried half alive?
16:35Am I lost to her forever?
16:38I will search for mama, for no one has loved me more.
16:48He's such a son up there.
16:50Aren't you embarrassed?
16:52And she will search for me.
16:53Quite the opposite, Carl.
16:55Quite the opposite.
16:56Mama!
16:58Mama!
16:59Oh, sorry, bro.
17:00Sorry.
17:03Oh, this is going to be on.
17:08Here we go.
17:09This is our big moment.
17:10I know.
17:11I did this.
17:12Ah!
17:12Ah!
17:13Ah!
17:13Ah!
17:14Ah!
17:21Ah!
17:22Margie's on the stage.
17:23Margie's on the stage.
17:25What is happening?
17:29Get off.
17:30You get off.
17:31What is she doing?
17:32I don't know.
17:34What is she doing?
17:34You get off.
17:34I didn't know this was the one person.
17:37This is sick.
17:38Go, Margie.
17:41Ah, the dawn.
17:44But this morning, there is something different in the air.
17:50Is it a hint of winter?
17:52Get her off.
17:54Get her.
17:55Oh, jeez.
17:56I'm going to use you.
17:57Get her off.
17:58Get off.
17:59You get off.
18:00This is time to get good.
18:01My hair.
18:03My muscles.
18:06The crops suffer.
18:08Just as I suffer.
18:11What's that?
18:11To stand up?
18:12Sit inside, Sal.
18:14Idiot.
18:18God, we've got two women doing a one-woman show.
18:21Okay, what do we do?
18:22We leave her.
18:23There was supposed to be her out there.
18:24Julia, help us.
18:25Fine.
18:25I can't fight you people anymore.
18:28Let's get Caitlin out of there.
18:29Christian, Ryan.
18:30Come on.
18:30Come and help me.
18:32Where is God in all of this?
18:47Get off.
18:50Okay, Julia's standing by.
18:53I am a surf no more.
18:57Let's go.
18:58Do it, Julia.
18:59Winter is finally upon me
19:02and the snow begins to fall.
19:06Will I be left here to starve?
19:11Chookers.
19:13Chookers, everyone.
19:15What is this?
19:16What is she doing?
19:21Oh, hark.
19:22What has that chicken from the future said?
19:25Oh, my God.
19:26Everyone loves Chevy's chickens.
19:29Even vegans.
19:32Is that meat?
19:33You will be hearing from my lawyer.
19:37Yes.
19:39Amateurs.
19:41Yes.
19:43All yours, Maggie.
19:44Thanks, Chook.
19:49Thanks, Chook.
19:54And so, as I breathe my final breath
19:57and see God's blue sky one last time,
20:01I choose these parting words.
20:05Papa took me to Paris.
20:08Papa took me to Paris.
20:10Oh!
20:14Oh!
20:46So the idea was always to have two women on stage because it takes two women to speak to the
20:53patriarchy.
20:53That really came through. And then the arrival of the roast chook.
20:57Modern day capitalism. You know, it's the commodification of feminism, which is literally burying women alive.
21:03It's thrilling.
21:04It's groundbreaking. It's urgent. It's now.
21:07And who played the chook?
21:08I can't remember.
21:10That's me.
21:10It was you.
21:11I played that.
21:12Somebody like an usher, was it?
21:14Mum, you were, like, really great. You liked the talk of the play.
21:16Oh, stop it. I was not.
21:18No, you are. Seriously, I'm really proud of you.
21:20Oh, darling, thank you.
21:21I'm very proud of you too. You're wonderful up here. Wonderful.
21:25Thanks, Mum.
21:26Guys, literally everyone in this room is talking about me at the moment.
21:29Can you hear it?
21:30There's a buzz.
21:31There's a buzz and it's rising all the time.
21:33How dare you humiliate me?
21:35Yes.
21:36How dare you?
21:37This theatre company is an embarrassment.
21:39Whose idea was it to have a chicken on stage?
21:42Interesting.
21:44That was Carmel's idea.
21:45What?
21:46Yes.
21:47Yes, Carmel signed the Chevy's Chook deal, didn't you?
21:50I'm just an underling.
21:52That is a lie, Caitlin.
21:54Is it?
21:54Why don't you check with Phyllis, our wealthiest donor?
21:57She was there when you claimed all the credit for the chicken deal.
21:59There she is.
22:00She's just there.
22:03Okay.
22:05Well, everyone, I reckon we might have a bit of a hit on our hands, yeah?
22:15Are you not wearing a bra?
22:17I am unapologetic.
22:18That is stunning.
22:20Christian, can you do something about that?
22:22We'll come cover those up with some, we've got a tote.
22:24There we go.
22:25Let's get something on there.
22:26Wow.
22:28Yeah.
22:28We've got copious totes.
22:31There's a lot of totes.
22:32Christian.
22:34Christian.
22:34Yes?
22:35We need more ice.
22:36Sorry.
22:37Yeah?
22:37I've got to, um...
22:39Oh, yeah.
22:39Well, it wasn't me, Phyllis.
22:41You must remember, it was Julia that came to you.
22:43You remember to stick to me.
22:44Ooh, that has not gone well.
22:46Sorry.
22:47I'm done.
22:48So are you sticking around?
22:49Caitlin.
22:51You tell me.
22:54Chuckers, Carmel.
Comments