- 3 weeks ago
Gogglebox - Season 27 Episode 15
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00:00What do you think to me new dining chairs?
00:03Look!
00:04I've only been waiting for new dining chairs since 2019.
00:08Oh, my God.
00:10Look at that.
00:12Are you ready for this?
00:13Comfort.
00:17Oh, my God.
00:18I'm swivelling.
00:20Now I'm watching telly.
00:22Now I'm getting the remote.
00:23I'm swivelling back to the telly.
00:25I'm putting the remote down.
00:27Now I'm going to go look out the window.
00:30Oh, my God.
00:30You are living in 2081.
00:37Have you ever done out like that?
00:39Well, I have to tell you.
00:40I have.
00:43Oh, Barcelona.
00:46No, I don't like that this guy is trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:49A what?
00:50Fetish.
00:51I had no idea that was a thing.
00:53Remove my britches.
00:54Expose your loins.
00:55I like that.
00:56Oh, oh.
00:57Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:59Oh, Ronnie.
01:00This is weird.
01:01Gee, he's a mercenary bugger, isn't he?
01:03This is why I don't eat.
01:05That is Dyson with the devil.
01:06Oh, no.
01:07He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
01:09Clearly.
01:09A Bentley Continental.
01:12I think I'd rather call it a day now, say, wouldn't you?
01:14Who's been arrested now and for what?
01:18In the week by George sang for San Marino in the Eurovision semis, we enjoyed lots of great
01:25telly.
01:26There was more drama from Downing Street dominating the headlines.
01:30The Prime Minister arrived here, his job on the line.
01:35Some in his party have fretted he's not up to it for months.
01:39They are out to destroy a once great country.
01:43You think he's taking the job as PM in order to destroy it?
01:46Destroy it, yeah.
01:48What?
01:48You think he's pretending?
01:50Probably in league with the World Economic Forum and Klaus Schwab.
01:54Oh, Charles, you do sound like a nutter.
01:57It was the party of all parties for a national treasure on BBC One.
02:02And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
02:09The world doesn't look like that now.
02:11It's got Walker's crisps all over the floor.
02:23It's sad.
02:24And they were desperately seeking some romance on Channel 4.
02:29My parents are both romantic.
02:30But the relationship with my mum, when it comes to dating and love, is really special.
02:36You see, it's weird, isn't it?
02:37You know, when love's first bud, it's like a flower, isn't it, love?
02:42When you think about it.
02:43You know, your first date is like the shoot where it just comes out.
02:46And then, as time progresses, it gets nice and expands and the love gets bigger.
02:52And then, ultimately, it dies.
03:04Oh, don't make yourself unattractive to me.
03:08Let me hold one.
03:10These are the first vegetables of the season, Mary.
03:12Let me hold one.
03:13Giles and his wife, Mary.
03:16One big one for Daddy, one smaller one for Mummy.
03:19OK, I'm leaving. I'm off.
03:19No, Dad, don't spoil the moment.
03:22Let me hold it, then.
03:23Don't spoil the moment, Natty.
03:25Let this be a happy family moment.
03:28On Friday, Channel 4 had us counting down to the weekend.
03:33Right, come on, Ellie. Look alive.
03:36Oxygenate the brain.
03:37Calm down reminds me of getting off the school bus,
03:41going to my gran and grandad's, having tea and watching the telly.
03:50Concentrate, Martha.
03:52We're going to have a child genius on our hands if we keep this up.
03:55It's the most middle-aged shit I've ever seen.
03:59Already five octal champs have been crowned,
04:02could be six by the end of today's show.
04:04Ooh, excitement.
04:05The tension.
04:07Re-introduced, for the last time for now,
04:09our champion Patrick Thompson.
04:11We've got the champion on with a face like a smacked arse.
04:14Patrick looks like my tone of voice.
04:16You're up against Simon Randall.
04:19Oh, my life, it's my friend Simon Randall!
04:22No, it's not!
04:23It is!
04:24Get out!
04:26Come on, Simon!
04:29Consonant, please.
04:30Start today with R.
04:32And away we go.
04:32Right.
04:34R.
04:35Oh, she's loving it!
04:36And another...
04:38H.
04:38So what's happening here?
04:40Right, are you...
04:41For someone that watched it every night till your gran and grandad's,
04:44you weren't f***ing watching, were you?
04:45I wasn't watching, I was listening.
04:47And another...
04:48U.
04:51N.
04:54Ooh!
04:55Phenomenon!
04:56That was not M.
04:59Phone!
05:01Phone!
05:02Oh, yeah!
05:03Yeah!
05:04Phoned!
05:06F.
05:07F.
05:08F.
05:09F.
05:09F.
05:09F.
05:10F.
05:10Neon.
05:12F.
05:12Oh, no, that's not...
05:13Well, no, not even do that.
05:15In my defence, English is like our third language.
05:20F.
05:20Me, this is horrible!
05:22Hang on a minute.
05:23Hang on a minute.
05:24Parody!
05:25My favourite Parody!
05:27Phone.
05:28Phone.
05:30Phoned!
05:35I've got nothing!
05:36iPhone!
05:39Patrick.
05:40Seven.
05:41He's got a seven out of that.
05:43Oh, well, he would be a smart bastard.
05:44Patrick got a seven.
05:46Simon.
05:47Seven as well.
05:48He's got a seven as well.
05:49We've got a jewel.
05:50Excellent stuff, Patrick.
05:51Phonia.
05:52Phonia?
05:53Phonia?
05:53There's no F!
05:56And for you, Simon...
05:58Yep, the same.
05:58Get in!
06:01What's Phonia?
06:02Like a phobia.
06:04He said Phonia?
06:05Yeah, so you're scared of phones.
06:08You've got Phonia.
06:09That's like when you've got two phones.
06:11One of them looks quite a bit like a phone,
06:14but the other one's just a bit more Phonia.
06:17Oh, shit.
06:18That's a fourth.
06:19There's your Phonia.
06:21What's that, Kaz?
06:22Consonant, please, Rachel.
06:24Thank you, Patrick.
06:25L.
06:26L.
06:26Here we go.
06:27And another.
06:28E.
06:29Lapis lazuli.
06:31Lee.
06:32E.
06:33Oh, yeah, it's got Lee, yeah.
06:35Consonant, please.
06:36P.
06:36Pens.
06:37Pens.
06:38Penis.
06:39Mary.
06:41Penis.
06:42Mother.
06:49Mother.
06:51Oh, P.
06:52E.
06:52N.
06:53E.
06:53S.
06:54Oh, God.
06:59Penis it is then.
07:01She's trying to tell us the answer here.
07:02You're not listening.
07:03She's saying penises as well.
07:06She is.
07:06That's going to be her first word.
07:08Stop it.
07:08Patrick.
07:09Please say penis.
07:10Eight.
07:11Eight.
07:12From what?
07:14And for you, Simon?
07:15Just seven.
07:16Just a seven?
07:17Oh, Simon's got a seven, Jane.
07:19What's the seven?
07:20Pennies.
07:21Pennies.
07:21Very good.
07:22And the pennies dropped for Patrick.
07:24Pencione.
07:25Is that Italian for penis?
07:27What's that?
07:28An Indian dish?
07:29Pencione.
07:29Oh, no, I'm thinking of peshwari.
07:31Oh, nice.
07:32Patrick, though.
07:33Brilliant on the conundrums.
07:35Oh, the conundrum.
07:36The conundrum.
07:37I can't even say it.
07:38It's easy to say.
07:39Sometimes it comes to me in a flash.
07:42It does.
07:43Let's find out and reveal Friday's countdown conundrum.
07:49Oh, what?
07:50The clock didn't even start.
07:51That is mental, that.
07:54Resembled.
07:55Let's have a look.
07:57Duh.
07:58How?
07:59Shut up.
08:00Unbelievable.
08:01Patrick Thompson.
08:03Look at the clock.
08:05Yeah.
08:07Will you text, Simon?
08:08Have you got Simon's text number?
08:09Yes, I have.
08:10Yeah.
08:11I saw you.
08:12I messaged you.
08:13I saw you on countdown, Simon.
08:19In Leeds.
08:20Yes.
08:21Right.
08:21What do you want crisp-wise?
08:23Smokey bacon, roast chicken, cheese and onion, beef hula's, prawn cocktail.
08:28Already salted.
08:30Smokey bacon, please.
08:32Wait till you see this.
08:34Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
08:36So, I've done us a bread cake each, half way for thin ham, half way for thin chicken.
08:42Get fucked fudge.
08:43Then, a cheeky half.
08:45Oh.
08:47Lashings of butter.
08:49Yeah.
08:49Yeah, but Izzy.
08:50Oh, my God.
08:51I had boiled eggs and soldiers before I came round here.
08:54I was absolutely stuffed.
08:56Really?
08:57Do you think...
08:58Save it for later.
08:59Put it in foil.
08:59Check it home.
09:02Or just force it in and pog yourself.
09:06Also an option.
09:07Yeah.
09:08On Monday, Rav and the team were fighting crime online again on BBC One.
09:14Oh, no, do you need to get out because you want to watch Scam Interceptors?
09:18Let's see how we can fraud people.
09:20No, it's how you can protect yourself from baddies.
09:23Yeah, protect people.
09:24Yeah.
09:27The only thing I think you should be aware of is if it sounds too good to be true, it
09:34usually isn't.
09:36Do you not understand that?
09:38Yeah, you just contradict it.
09:39If it sounds too good to be true...
09:41Then it is too good to be true, isn't it?
09:44Yes.
09:45You just said it isn't.
09:46It isn't true.
09:49Yeah, that's not...
09:50If it sounds too good to be true, then it is too good to be true.
09:54To be true.
09:55That's it.
09:57I'm glad you're not dishing out too much advice.
09:59You get people all out of the shop.
10:02As you have been a loyal customer to the sky for so long, a long time...
10:05To the sky!
10:07The company has decided to give you back your one-year-line return money.
10:11Oh, my God! I had this happen to me!
10:13As if I'd be like, don't lie to me.
10:16Oh, yeah.
10:17No-one gives you anything back because you've been a good customer, do they?
10:21You've just found more remote access on someone else's device.
10:24Different scam, now sky impersonation, it seems.
10:26Oh, Rav's looking extra dish here, like how he's gelled his hair today.
10:30And that might pull her.
10:31And in this case, we can see that he's got remote access to this man's mobile phone.
10:35Talk us through it, curtains.
10:36On the right-hand side of the screen.
10:38And then on the left, he's currently signing them up for online banking.
10:41Oh, my God.
10:42No, that's quite scary.
10:43This is a really complex operation.
10:46Like, he's got him to download software.
10:49You've got no chance in that account, yes.
10:50To remote on.
10:51It's a big amount of money.
10:54£498, all in total.
10:55You are going to get from Sky.
10:57Sky would never do that.
10:59Well, you used to work for them, yeah.
11:00I worked for them for six months before they felt they'd seen enough of me.
11:04You've got the debit card with you, am I correct?
11:07Oh, debit card.
11:08No protection.
11:09We need your number.
11:10We need your PIN code.
11:12Oh, yes.
11:13The man is told to place his card in front of his phone camera.
11:17That's so they can capture a picture of the card.
11:20Is it again on somewhere else?
11:22Thanks to ethical hacker Agent G9.
11:24Sorry, what?
11:25What the fuck?
11:27We now know the man's name, his mobile number and postcode.
11:32Oh, brilliant.
11:33But remember, they can't ring him.
11:35Yeah.
11:35They've now got to get someone round there quick.
11:37Yeah.
11:38To protect his identity, we'll call him John.
11:41John.
11:41Poor John's going to get scammed.
11:43He tells John to check his TV.
11:46While he does that, the scammer steals his money.
11:50No!
11:52Sending £500.
11:54He's taking £500 out of his account.
11:56Oh, my God.
11:57Transfer created.
11:59He's doing another transaction now, another £498.
12:01He's doing it again.
12:03An interceptor, Alice, makes a breakthrough.
12:06Oh!
12:07Come on, Alice!
12:08She finds the telephone number of a neighbour.
12:12Hallelujah.
12:13I knew you better see.
12:14Yeah, that was good, see.
12:15That's brilliant, that is.
12:18First transfer's done.
12:19Hello?
12:20Oh, oh!
12:21Sorry to call you out.
12:21They're in!
12:22There is someone, I believe, a couple of doors down from your road
12:27who is actually in the process of being scammed.
12:30Could you imagine getting that phone call?
12:32I'd be like, this sounds like a scam.
12:33What do you mean?
12:34I'd go to the door, mate.
12:35I literally just need a knock on the door and to say,
12:39please get off the phone.
12:40You are talking to a scammer.
12:41Come on, lady.
12:42I can phone him and speak to him and explain what's going on.
12:45OK, then.
12:46Oh, she's a good lass, isn't she?
12:47Well, you'd do that straight away, wouldn't you?
12:49What's happened?
12:52Is this it?
12:53I think she's there.
12:54She's there?
12:55She's on the...she's on the door.
12:57You don't need to open the door right now,
12:59because the internet work is going on right now.
13:01Oh, you cheeky bugger.
13:03Whoa.
13:04Internet work is going on right now.
13:06No, no, no, no, no, Mr Scammer.
13:09Someone's here.
13:11Hello?
13:13Hello?
13:14John?
13:15Are you there, John?
13:17The call ended.
13:18Oh!
13:19Oh!
13:22That's a result.
13:23Don't raise me.
13:26This is Rav Wilding from the Scam Interceptor programme.
13:29Oh, this is Rav from the BBC, yeah?
13:32I sent your neighbour to your house.
13:35Are you OK?
13:37What the **** going on?
13:40Oh, he's so distressed.
13:42I need to reach out to Rav Wilding.
13:43Some arsehole has cloned my card details.
13:47You're joking.
13:48I spent 140 quid on me card.
13:50Shit.
13:50But the best bit was the bank were going,
13:52are you sure you've not spent this money?
13:54Yeah, I'm sure.
13:55Do you even know who I am?
13:58I wouldn't spend 140 quid on anything.
14:08Indoor room.
14:09The best thing I've ever bought Josh with is barbecue.
14:11You have them every night, don't you?
14:13Every night.
14:14Best friends, Abby and Georgia.
14:16It's a plug-in barbecue.
14:18I know, but why are you not just cooking indoors
14:20until it gets sunny outside?
14:22Because I don't like the smell of food.
14:25So, any smell of meat is outside,
14:28wafting away in the wind.
14:32Josh loves it.
14:33He says every day,
14:35I love this barbecue.
14:37It's a wood fire barbecue.
14:39What if you wanted rice?
14:41I've also got a microwave.
14:44So you don't put everything on the barbecue?
14:46No, I don't cook fucking rice on the barbecue.
14:50What?
14:53On Friday night,
14:54the whole nation settled in
14:56to celebrate a remarkable milestone birthday.
15:00Oh, celebration drink.
15:02It is.
15:02But it looks like wallpaper paste.
15:05Pina colada, innit?
15:06Yeah.
15:07And it tastes like wallpaper paste.
15:08Cheers, Sir David.
15:09Oh, no.
15:10Probably.
15:11Cheers, Sir David.
15:12Happy 100th birthday.
15:15Hello and welcome to London's Royal Albert Hall.
15:18Oh, look.
15:18Oh, look at that.
15:20Isn't that nice?
15:21Tonight, we have a very special evening
15:23of music and celebration in store.
15:26Do they not realise that we can see them operating?
15:29And tonight is all about celebrating
15:32the incredible life of the one and only
15:35Sir David Attenborough.
15:36To me, David Attenborough is the male version
15:38of the Queen.
15:40I think of, you know, I'm proud to be British
15:44when I think of David Attenborough.
15:46When I think of him...
15:48Yes.
15:48Steady.
15:49No.
15:50He's just so perfect and admirable.
15:53Unlike your miserable husband.
15:59No, you've got a few good things about you, Nutty.
16:02Oh, thanks for that, Mary.
16:06I think David Attenborough is the only person all us British people
16:10can agree on.
16:11It is a national treasure.
16:13He is.
16:14He can't have haters.
16:15I refuse to believe he has a hater.
16:17There was no expense spared as an old pal of David's
16:21shared some special memories.
16:23Dear David.
16:25Oh, an actual letter.
16:27It is amazing to think that you and I have known one another
16:31for more than 60 years.
16:33More than 60 years?
16:35They're like BFFs.
16:36Indeed.
16:36I believe we first met in 1958.
16:40What?
16:41Almost a decade before the age of colour television.
16:45Look at King Charles looking at you.
16:46Where's King Charles?
16:48Yeah.
16:48And Anne.
16:49Princess Anne.
16:50Oh, it's David Attenborough.
16:52David!
16:52Oh, hello.
16:53Not the bloody parrot.
16:54You have shared my determination to highlight the urgent need
17:01to protect and preserve this precious planet.
17:06of ours.
17:07I'm going to cry.
17:08Are you going to cry?
17:09I don't know why.
17:10Yeah, he's really, really added to my life.
17:13I feel like I want to be friends with David and King Charles.
17:17You've missed the boat now.
17:19They've got their small circle.
17:21Thank you, then, for all that you have done.
17:25And on behalf of the whole nation, I wish you a very happy
17:32100th birthday.
17:37Oh, what's going on?
17:38What's going on?
17:39It's a tree down.
17:41Oh, stop it.
17:43Oh, my God.
17:43Stop it.
17:44Here we go.
17:45We've got a border collie with a letter in its mouth, eh?
17:48Today, this could be.
17:51Oh, how's they told that dog to deliver wild lives?
17:56Well, it's only fitting an animal should deliver it anyway.
18:00I know, yeah.
18:00I know, yeah.
18:01Before we run out of time
18:06Stay close to me
18:07No way, he's gonna take it from the dog's mouth
18:10Is this for your life?
18:12Stay close to me
18:15Watch the world
18:18Oh Christ, where's it going now?
18:22Oh, it's stuck in the head jog!
18:25I thought I was gonna cut the head jog in half
18:30Squirrels in on it now
18:31Red squirrel, not grey
18:34Oh, they've all come out to take his cab
18:37Jenny, it's not fucking real
18:45Bloody hell
18:46It's amazing, isn't it?
18:50I don't think it's actually happening, babe, love
18:53Well, don't burst my bubble up
18:56Fucking hell
19:03I wonder if this is Sir David's actual house
19:06Very touch
19:07I wonder who
19:09Thought this up
19:13Oh, he's got it in his hand
19:17How good does he look for a hundred?
19:19Doesn't he look amazing?
19:21He looks really good
19:22Thank you
19:26Thank you
19:28That's it
19:29That's it
19:29Oh my god, we get to sing
19:30We get to be a part of singing
19:32Happy Birthday David Attenborough
19:33Day to you
19:38Happy birthday
19:50I'd have gone with Stevie Wonder Option if it were made
19:53Yeah
19:56Look at his little face
19:57He looks genuinely happy, doesn't he?
20:01Look at those people with their nice faces
20:04Are you finished?
20:06Yeah
20:06What are you crying for again?
20:09I know, I can't help it
20:10I think it's really emotional
20:11That's probably the most epic birthday
20:14Shout out
20:16Ever
20:16Ever
20:17Yeah
20:17Yeah
20:18Later, it only seemed right to hear from Sir David himself
20:24I see trees of green
20:28Red roses too
20:31I see them bloom
20:33Hang on, this is a song, Mary
20:34I know
20:35What's the song?
20:37What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong
20:39By Louis Armstrong
20:40And I think to myself
20:43Stop it
20:45Yeah
20:45What a wonderful world
20:47It is a wonderful world
20:49Yeah
20:49When you look at the beauty, isn't it?
20:50That's because you're in it, David
20:52That's why
20:53I see skies of blue
20:58Clouds of white
20:59I've got goosebumps
21:00Bright blessed days
21:03Oh, I'm embarrassed
21:05I can't stop cracking
21:07And I think to myself
21:11What a wonderful world
21:15What a wonderful world
21:17Mm-hmm, clock it
21:19The colours of a rainbow
21:23So pretty in the sky
21:27Are also on the faces of people going by
21:32Right, come on, pull yourself together
21:35The glasses are steamed up and eat me with the screen wipers
21:38I never want to hear another version of this song again
21:41No, I agree actually
21:42This is the version that lives on forever now
21:45I hear babies cry
21:49I watch them grow
21:52Oh, it is beautiful, isn't it?
21:55It really is
21:55Look
21:56So David is so nice
21:58Because in a shit world
22:00He reminds you there are pockets of beautiful that still exist
22:03Yeah
22:03Quite simply wonderful
22:09I mean, what a legacy
22:11David Attenborough
22:13I mean, he hasn't got a legacy
22:15He is a legacy
22:16What do you think we're going to be remembered for?
22:21Caravans and chickens
22:22Spam sarnies
22:24Spam sandwiches
22:25I could do you a nice montage for your birthday
22:30What you've done in your life
22:31I haven't done much, Lee
22:32I know, it won't be long
22:33No
22:34I don't think David realises what he's actually added to the world
22:38He's learnt me so much
22:40And me
22:49If Aston Villa are in the top four of the league
22:54No, top five
22:55Top five of the league
22:58Or they win this cup match that they're doing
23:03Yes, the UEFA Cup
23:05That's the one
23:05Teresa and her wife Anita
23:08Then that means that next series
23:12Season
23:14They will be in the Champions League
23:17Champions League, yes
23:18And they play other teams around the world
23:22Yeah, around Europe, yeah
23:23Europe, okay
23:25Right, okay
23:26Well done, I'm impressed
23:29Yeah, well I'm just trying to work out, you see
23:31Whether I want them to lose
23:34So that they don't play so many games next year
23:38So I don't have to sit here and endure so many matches
23:41But if they lose then you're going to be a bit sad
23:45You...
23:46I can't even believe you're thinking that
23:51On Friday night, the political popularity contest was making the headlines
23:56And ITV was outside number 10 with the latest update
24:00Did you vote, Jane?
24:01I did vote, Simon
24:02Well done you, did you vote in person or postal?
24:05In person!
24:06Did you?
24:06Yes, I don't like postal
24:08Okay
24:08So yeah, it's only down the road
24:10I had a dream last night
24:11I went out for a pub tea
24:13With Nigel Farage
24:15Because I was his mate
24:16And then I picked up the bill
24:18He said, did I want to go after
24:20And I went, no it's alright, I'll get it
24:22Jesus!
24:23What the hell?
24:26Good evening from Downing Street
24:27Where the Prime Minister is vowing to fight on
24:30Can you see Keir?
24:32Curtain switching in the back
24:34Get our TV off, what's she saying?
24:36Yeah
24:38Despite Labour suffering humiliating losses after elections in England, Scotland and Wales
24:44This isn't a poll, this is actually a true temperature check of what this nation is thinking and feeling right
24:49now
24:49And it ain't Labour
24:51Just to tell you one thing about local elections, Mary
24:53Is that people often vote in local elections in a reckless way that they wouldn't when it was actually
24:59The national elections, because the local elections can be viewed as a protest vote
25:06I know that darling
25:08Do you want me to mansplain any more?
25:11No
25:11No, okay
25:12Sir Keir Starmer said he would take responsibility for the painful results, but that he wouldn't quit
25:17Well who else could take responsibility?
25:20The back's gotta stop somewhere
25:21Make me
25:22Make me go
25:23Make me go
25:24God
25:25He's locked himself in
25:26But when he says he'll take responsibility, what is that responsibility that he's gonna take?
25:31Well he's the front man, isn't he? So he gets all shit
25:33It's like Gary Barlow
25:35Yeah
25:35He's the Gary Barlow of the Labour Party
25:38Reform UK took hundreds of council seats in England from Labour
25:42Yeah, they've taken temps, haven't they? Reform
25:45With the leader Nigel Farage saying it showed there was an historic shift away from the two main parties
25:51I think everybody wants to mix it up, I'm just concerned about what we're mixing it up with
25:56Exactly
25:57Yesterday is the first time in my life that I hadn't made my mind up on who to vote for
26:06Because I didn't, I'm so disillusioned
26:11The jubilation was mainly measured in teal rosettes
26:14You know, I used to like teal, until reform took over
26:17As reform surged from Hartlepool to Havering
26:22Look at that swagger
26:23We like reform, don't we? We do, I like Nigel Farage
26:26A lot of my friends think he's awful
26:28There's something that we can't deny is the amount of people voting for reform
26:33And whatever you think about them, there's some appeal, they're tapping into something
26:38Even if I don't like it, they're saying something that people want to hear
26:43Do you know what, I thought what I need to start doing is, actually now, my local councillor who is
26:49reform
26:49Need to start emailing her, complaining about all the dog shit on my path
26:54Can we have another bin? Can we this? Can we that? Can we whatever?
26:58And see if they're up to much
27:00Exactly! That's what it's about
27:02Labour not just being punished on their right
27:06But also by the Greens on their left
27:08Look at all those moustaches in the Green Party
27:11Mullets and moustaches, all of them
27:13Greens are always hugging, aren't they?
27:16You don't see many reform people hugging
27:18No
27:19I don't think reform people like physical contact
27:22The voters have sent a message about the pace of change, how they want their lives improved
27:28Well, they've sent a shot right across your bow, haven't they, sunshine?
27:32I think a lot of Labour MPs think now that he's stark raping bonkers, nothing
27:37Do you think he's been replaced by an AI?
27:39You know, Starmer, if he didn't sound like that, I think a lot more people would like him
27:42If he's talked like this instead
27:44Yeah, he's got a distinguished face, hasn't he?
27:46Yeah
27:46Imagine that face sounding like, I don't know, Roger Moore or somebody like that
27:50I'd listen to what I'd say
27:52We're the most shallow voters ever, aren't we? Yeah
27:55I was elected to meet those challenges and I'm not going to walk away from those challenges
28:02and plunge the country into chaos
28:04I mean, it's already kind of in chaos, mate, to be honest
28:07Have you not seen...
28:08Have you been out the house recently?
28:11Really, we just need Keir to stay in charge until the end of the summer and then he can step
28:15down
28:16Why till the end of summer?
28:18Cos he said he'll let pubs stay open an extra two hours in the World Cup
28:21Poor Keir, I'm very sorry for him
28:25Cos I don't think he means any harm
28:27I don't feel sorry for him, the sooner he goes the better
28:31Every time he steps out of his door, people shout insults at him
28:35And he seems to be the only one that doesn't know it
28:38Giles, I really think that with a couple of years to go till you're dead
28:42There is no point in you watching this stuff
28:47In home
28:48Do you know, like, I'm going to get all my bits done for my holidays
28:51You know, all my legs
28:53Yes
28:53Best friends Jenny and Lee
28:56But I noticed the other day, when I looked under my arms
29:01I ain't got no...
29:02You're like a gorilla?
29:03No, I ain't got none
29:05I ain't got any hairs under my arms
29:08Have you not?
29:09No
29:09Why?
29:10They haven't used anything
29:11So you've got more on your chin than under your arms
29:15This week it was a new action packed drama that had us gripped on Skye
29:20I feel like a prisoner in this house
29:21Because whenever I leave it, Dad goes
29:24Where are you going?
29:25I'm going out with my friends
29:26Which friend?
29:26Where are you going?
29:28What seems to be a common theme here is that it's me asking everyone where they're going
29:31Yeah, and we can't ask you
29:33If we asked you, it must soon come
29:36That's not true
29:37Yes it is
29:43I like a thriller, I do
29:45Looks all action this one, do you have done it?
29:47You'd actually do well in prison because someone would take you under their wing as their bitch
29:51Yeah, so I'd be looked after
29:52Yeah
29:54You can't really knock that, can you?
29:56No
29:56In the episode, we joined a police briefing about taking down a crime boss
30:01Putting Harrison Dempsey away is the only thing that anyone in this room cares about
30:05He's got that Megamind situation going on
30:08I was about to say
30:09Yeah, that's a big head full of ideas
30:11And the success of a guilty verdict rests on the testimony of one man
30:15Who? Who? Who? Who?
30:16Libor Stone is the most precious asset we have
30:20So he's the snitch
30:21Yeah, huh?
30:22And he's gonna grass up his boss
30:24So we should expect that they will do anything to stop him taking that stand in four days time
30:28And I mean anything
30:30Well, yeah, of course they will, won't they?
30:33God
30:33He's gonna be like a hot potato, this guy
30:34Absolutely, he does look like hot property, doesn't he?
30:36This looks marvellous, doesn't it?
30:39I love this program already
30:41Right there
30:45Warner, Gary, category C, transfer from Stratford
30:48Ah, they transport the prisoners
30:51Oh, okay, that's the jobs
30:52Like to and from
30:52Cool
30:53Yeah, yeah, yeah
30:54Got a weird one for you
30:56Our head office just had a call from the National Crime Unit
30:58They want us to make an additional pick-up
31:00Oh, it's him
31:01It's that guy, what's his name?
31:03It's an overnight transfer
31:05Under armed guard
31:06Oh, okay
31:07As soon as they say armed guard
31:09You've gotta start thinking
31:11You know
31:11Thinking, who the hell is it?
31:13Yeah, yeah
31:13And what has he done?
31:19Oh, look at this, this is proper
31:22This is the safe house
31:23In the middle of nowhere
31:25Also known as the Grimm house
31:27I was gonna say
31:27Well, not lively, here it comes
31:34God, he looks like a right scary bastard
31:36I know
31:37Sexy, isn't it?
31:43Binoculars, Pedro
31:45Binoculars
31:45And fingerless gloves
31:46That means serious shit
31:51Who's there?
31:52That's the assassin then, isn't it?
31:54She's been hired by the mob, I'm guessing
31:55Yeah
31:56Now they know he's on the road
31:58They've got him
31:58Yeah
32:02Oh, God
32:03Through a tunnel
32:04You don't wanna go through a tunnel
32:10Oh, shit
32:11Oh, shit
32:12Get lost
32:12This is a set up
32:14As soon as that happened
32:15I'd say
32:16Do a UA
32:17Back out
32:18Yep
32:21Something's off
32:22Of course it is
32:23I can tell that from here
32:23They're like sitting ducks right now
32:25Do something
32:29Oh
32:30Oh
32:31Oh, it's a drone
32:31Bloody drone
32:36Oh
32:37Ow
32:37Oh, shit
32:38Hey
32:39It's a drone gun
32:44Ah
32:44Oh, get down
32:47Oh, no
32:50Oh, my God
32:53Can your drone really do all of that?
32:55Apparently so
32:59Oh
32:59Open the door
33:01She can't open the door
33:03She's injured, you silly git
33:08Oh, she is
33:09She's gonna open the door
33:10She's gonna go and open the door
33:11If I was hired to stay where I was, wouldn't you?
33:13Pretend to be dead, I would
33:14Yeah
33:18Yes, cuffed him
33:19Oh, don't strap yourself to him, you ninny
33:21Why would you do that?
33:23What are you doing?
33:24So you can't run
33:25Is she all right?
33:26This is not the time
33:27Who gives a fuck?
33:28Yeah
33:28She's saying you, you saw you can't run
33:30I'd have let him piss off, wouldn't you?
33:35Oh, no, no, no
33:36Oh, shit
33:36Oh, your petrol's coming out, yeah
33:40It's gonna go kaboomski this
33:46Oh, nice
33:47Run
33:51That's that woman
33:52That's that woman
33:52What woman?
33:53Oh, the woman with the short hair
33:54Yeah
33:54That was looking through his binoculars
33:59You need to run faster than that
34:01I'm telling you, man
34:02She's coming
34:05We've gotta get up this road
34:06Oh, where'd you get off of that road?
34:08Oh
34:08There's a river underneath, so
34:10Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
34:12What are you doing?
34:13Oh, fuck that
34:14No
34:15You can't jump in the water
34:19Oh, here she comes
34:20Hurry, hurry, hurry
34:20Quick
34:21Oh, my God
34:22Okay
34:23Just go, just go
34:24Come on
34:25Come on, get your arse over here
34:27Ready?
34:28Wait
34:29Wait
34:29Wait
34:31Oh
34:32Yeah
34:32Oh
34:35I don't know why
34:36Amber agreed to jump with him
34:38Don't think she had much choice, that
34:39You see, people who are that invested in the job
34:42Do frighten me a little bit
34:44You know
34:45Yeah
34:45I'm going to die
34:46Because somebody's, you know, trying to get out of prison
34:49But I'll be opening the back door and go
34:51Go on, Tom, off your foot
35:00In Leeds
35:01What have you been on this weekend?
35:02Because you've been really quiet
35:03Well, I was getting over the weekend
35:06So that, you know, came into it
35:08But I've been, well, I did my meal plan
35:10How do you stick to that?
35:12I didn't
35:12I ordered Coco Pops
35:14Best friends Danielle and Daniela
35:17That is literally like going to the supermarket
35:19Buying all the healthy food
35:20Avoiding the sweet aisle
35:22Getting home and getting a takeaway
35:23Yeah
35:25However, I deleted my McDonald's app
35:28Oh, that's a bold move
35:29Yeah
35:30After I went to the drive-thru
35:31And used all my points on a double cheeseburger
35:33And an apple pie
35:39Your diets are my favourite
35:41You know, if anybody says to me
35:42What type of diet do you want?
35:43I'm like, Danielle is
35:46On Friday night
35:47Channel 4's starry-eyed singles
35:50The girls were flirting up a storm again
35:52Are you dating anyone, Sean?
35:54No
35:54Are you seeing anyone?
35:56No
35:56Are you looking up with anyone?
35:58No
35:58Are you talking to anyone?
35:59No
36:00You wouldn't tell us if you was, would you?
36:02No
36:02It's your wedding anniversary soon
36:04Actually
36:0522nd of May
36:08Is it?
36:09Is it Dave's birthday?
36:10No
36:10It was his 27th of May
36:13Right
36:14Well, better get it a couple of cards then
36:20I think I might have been sober for my first date with Josh
36:23Really?
36:24I'm surprised he stuck around and boring when I'm sober
36:26No, you had 12 Long Island iced teas, didn't you?
36:29That was when we got together again
36:31This is 26-year-old electrician Jordan and his mum Kelly
36:36Why not go on a date with his son?
36:38What?
36:38He brought his mum along?
36:39No
36:39I'd walk out the restaurant
36:40Mum and son on a date, that's disgusting
36:43No, they're not dating each other
36:46Nice to see you
36:47Nice to meet you
36:48So, what's happening here?
36:50Even Fred's freaked out
36:51Is it father and daughter?
36:53Fred trying to turn it up
36:55You two sisters?
36:57First time doing this, why?
37:00It's just a nice thing to do, isn't it?
37:01It is
37:02Yeah
37:02No
37:03Tell me, what do you do for anything?
37:05I'm a student at the moment in Bristol
37:07I'm studying forensic science
37:09Is that Jordan's date?
37:11Don't tell me she's brought a fucking dad
37:12Oh, she's lovely
37:13She brought a dad
37:14Are you ready for your date?
37:15Yes, I am
37:16I am, I am
37:17Is he here?
37:18Yes, so is your mother-in-law
37:21Hi
37:21Hiya
37:22Hi
37:22Amy, nice to meet you
37:24Jordan
37:24How are you?
37:25You all right?
37:26Yeah, I'm so good
37:27How are you?
37:28Good
37:28Oh my god
37:30This is so awkward
37:31Already
37:32Already
37:33Who's this lady?
37:34She has no idea
37:35No, introduce your mum
37:36Introduce your mum
37:37What's the dynamic here?
37:38Sorry
37:39This is my mum
37:40I'm on a date as well
37:41How are you?
37:42On a date
37:43There we go
37:44Should've done that in the first place, Jordan
37:47There you go, it's broken the ice now
37:48That's better
37:51Being he's the right man for the job is Carpenter John
37:54Ooh
37:56Carpenter John
37:57I like the look of John
37:58Ooh
37:59John's a fitter
38:01I'm John
38:01Hi John
38:02I'm Kelly, nice to meet you
38:04And you
38:04Well that's a good start
38:05They're both checking each other out there
38:06Did you see that?
38:08These actually make a nice couple
38:09You've got big arms
38:10Yes
38:11Must be arms
38:11I've got some guns
38:12Yeah you are
38:13Oh my gosh
38:14That's a compliment she
38:15Kelly's got bigger arms than John
38:17Go for the full bingo card and say she's got big thighs and all
38:20Yeah
38:20Thunder thighs
38:21Lovely
38:22You've got a fat ass, haven't you?
38:24That's nice
38:25Thank you very much
38:26Do you like girls with muscles?
38:27Oh that's alright then
38:28Oh she seems quite into it
38:30She's enjoyed it
38:30Started showing off the guns
38:32What do you do?
38:33I'm a carpenter
38:34Okay
38:34I could wear my hands
38:36So you like to play with tools as well?
38:37I've got tools
38:38Ooh
38:38I like that was flirty
38:40What about you?
38:42I'm a dominatrix
38:46Dominatrix?
38:47Is that not an acrobat?
38:48I had a boyfriend once
38:49Who'd like me to spank him with a frying pan
38:51For heaven's sake
38:52I do
38:54Pegging
38:56Spanking
38:57Excuse me?
38:57What's pegging?
38:59It's
38:59Google it
39:01From what I believe it is
39:03It will involve some type of
39:06Instrument
39:07And
39:08A buttocks
39:09Okay alright moving on
39:11Wait wait wait wait wait
39:12I mean
39:12The amount of money that I get paid per hour
39:16Is
39:17Quadruple
39:18What
39:18What I was earning in the fitness industry
39:21To be fair
39:23Lee she's honest
39:24Yeah she's honest
39:24Because a lot of people wouldn't come out and say this on a first date
39:27It's relieved a lot of the anxiety and pressure that comes with being a single parent
39:33So if she were on minimum wage save for the fitness industry she's on nearly 50 quid an hour per
39:38game
39:38Fucking hell
39:39Might have to have a little career change myself
39:42Like I'm okay with whatever you think
39:45It's fine
39:46You're supporting your family
39:47Why not
39:48But still
39:49Even if he doesn't judge her harshly
39:52He probably won't want to date her
39:55He'd be frightened of being manacled or pegged
39:58So then guys
40:00Would you like to see one another again?
40:02I'll go first if that's alright
40:04He's gonna say yes
40:05If he's going first he's gonna say yes
40:06Come on John
40:07I take the respect what you do and everything
40:09I think you're gorgeous
40:09I would definitely say yes
40:11Oh he didn't mince his words either did he?
40:13He was like bam bam bam bam bam
40:14Absolutely
40:15I like that
40:16Isn't that sweet Natty?
40:19Isn't it sweet?
40:21No
40:21Yeah I'd like to go on another date again and see
40:24Just see where it went
40:25Yeah
40:25He said double yes
40:26Oh
40:27Oh we were totally wrong
40:29We know nothing
40:30Oh
40:31That's off to it
40:32You know you do what you need to do to provide for your family
40:35You know
40:36I'd be a dominatrix if I needed to be
40:39Yeah you'd peg some one if the kids needed feeding
40:42Fucking absolutely
40:46You'd be out pegging with the rest of them
40:48They could be Peggy Mitchell
40:53In Wiltshire
40:54These steaks were advertised
40:56Ask at the butcher's counter for their steaks Mary half price
41:01Why do you have to bring steaks out in this room?
41:03Giles and his wife Mary
41:06Okay shall I put my initial on it?
41:09Absolutely not
41:09That's the daddy steak
41:10That's the biggest one
41:12That's the mummy steak
41:13The second biggest one
41:14And the daughter will have the smallest steak Mary
41:18Yeah it's time you grew up Charles
41:20Yeah I'm just right
41:21I'm going to write my initials
41:23Don't for God's sake don't
41:25My initials on my steak
41:27Nobody will notice even if you do write them on
41:29G
41:29I'm going to write it in the fat Mary
41:32Just so there's no quibble
41:36It's a no quibble guarantee that I get my own steak
41:41Do you want me to write M on yours?
41:43Absolutely not
41:44M
41:44Stop it
41:46On Monday it was manoeuvres at number 10 that were making the headlines on the BBC
41:52It's interesting times Tracer
41:54That's an understatement
41:56Countries upside down and back to front and turned inside out
41:59That's true
42:00I need some popcorn for this
42:02Let's see the end of an era
42:04Nutty
42:06What are you talking about?
42:08It's Dahmer
42:08Oh
42:09The Prime Minister has insisted he will not walk away
42:12Despite the disastrous election results last week
42:15He's not going into kicking and screaming
42:17He's hanging on tooth and nail
42:18But more than 50 Labour MPs have now called for him to go
42:22Or to set a date to leave
42:24I give him an end of the week
42:25Imagine being at work and being told to quit by everybody and going no
42:31Yeah
42:32You need to quit, get out
42:34Sakir says he's proved his doubters wrong in the past and will do so again
42:38He's a stubborn bugger, isn't he?
42:40Well, you can't just have somebody that's going to roll over, can you?
42:44And I suppose if anything it's showing he's got integrity
42:47Exactly, that's what I think
42:49In a crucial speech this morning he admitted his government had made mistakes
42:53But said he'd got the big political choices right
42:56Which big political choices did he get right?
42:59Wow, by not joining the Americans against
43:01Yeah, give him that, give him that actually
43:03In that fight against Iran
43:04I mean the one thing is I would say is there's a humility to him that I quite like
43:09He does at least say that people are, I get it, I get it
43:13And what are the actual options?
43:15I get it
43:16You've been saying that for years, Keir
43:18You don't get it otherwise you would have got it long ago, mate
43:21I feel it
43:23And I take responsibility
43:25It's just a load of bull, isn't it? It's all words
43:28That's the annoying thing for me
43:30I know I have my doubters
43:32Doubters? It's not doubters
43:33Doubters
43:34We're not doubting you
43:35We're certain
43:37We're certain that you're rubbish
43:38I won't be able to handle that pressure
43:40What Keir Starmer's under, I'd have thrown in towel
43:43I'd quit jobs for much less
43:45You have for much, much less
43:47And I know I need to prove them wrong and I will
43:50No, you won't be able to
43:52Because we already know you've cocked up
43:55It's like an ex begging into it
43:56I just want one more chance
43:58Just one more
44:00I'll do anything
44:01I'll change
44:01Sir Keir Starmer's back against the wall
44:04He was noticeably more angry, more passionate than we often see him
44:08The blazer's off
44:09He's got no tie on either
44:11The blazer's off, the button's undone and he's ready to box the nation
44:15Yeah
44:16I am their Prime Minister and this is their government
44:20A little bit of emotion there
44:22Yeah
44:22A good bit of emotion
44:23Slightly arousing
44:24Not arousing
44:25Rousing
44:27Really, darling?
44:28It was slightly rousing
44:29Not arousing
44:31The conversations about the Prime Minister's possible successors are still feverish
44:36There's the Mayor of Greater Manchester, Andy Burnham
44:39Andy Burnham can't because he's not an MP
44:40He's doing an alright job as a Mayor
44:42We'd lose that for him to be the Prime Minister
44:44So, leaving Manchester is alright for a minute, innit?
44:47Then there's the former Deputy Prime Minister, Angela Rayner
44:50No, we're not having her
44:51The sea vultures circling round there praying there
44:54Yeah, yeah, Angela Rayner and Andy Burnham
44:56He's thinking I'll pick the knives out of my back when I get home
45:01Then there is the Health Secretary Wes Streeting
45:03Whose supporters would prefer things to move quickly
45:06Before Andy Burnham can find himself a seat
45:09Well, Andy Burnham has a proven record of competence, you see
45:14With Manchester
45:15So it would be good
45:17But also Wes has a very good sense of humour
45:21And he's not that incompetent
45:25And all afternoon here, one after another
45:28Yet more Labour MPs saying the Prime Minister has to go
45:34Jesus, they're all jumping on the bandwagon now, aren't they?
45:36I just think all these lot that think that Keir Starmer's gonna throw in towel
45:40Are pissing in wind
45:42Because he ain't gonna go
45:43He's not going down without a fight
45:45No, he ain't, is he?
45:46He was fighting for his life out there today
45:48Do you remember that poster that was like in the 90s?
45:51It was everywhere, it's just like hang in there and a cat on a washing line?
45:54Yeah
45:55How long can he cling on for?
45:57I feel like that's Keir Starmer right now
45:59Do you know who I think could be a good new Prime Minister?
46:02You know, and I know I'm a little bit biased when I say this
46:05But Nitro from Gladiators
46:07Because he's tough and he's strong
46:09To put up with any shit off anybody
46:11Yeah, but he probably
46:12But he's also got it all up here, he's got it all sussed out
46:15He probably doesn't know anything about economics
46:17You don't need to, do you? These have proved that
46:47We'll see four flirtings up next in Brand New First Oats
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