- 11 hours ago
Category
ЁЯШ╣
FunTranscript
00:24I'm going as fast as I can, okay?
00:26Look, it's not easy doing this under pressure.
00:29Plus, I've never worked through this kind of rigging before.
00:33Not like you're paying me that much anyway.
01:07This is private property.
01:32No, no, no!
01:33No!
01:34Come here!
01:35No!
01:37Stay away!
01:38No!
01:40Somebody help me!
01:51No!
01:53No!
01:55No!
02:02No!
02:07No!
02:08No!
02:09No!
02:09Please!
02:11Dirk Gently!
02:12You are a dead man!
02:16Who's...
02:17Who's Dirk Gently?
02:20You're not Dirk Gently?
02:22No!
02:24No!
02:27What are you kidding me right now?
02:29Then why did you run?
02:30You have a machete!
02:32And you killed Rick!
02:34Why didn't you just say I'm not Dirk Gently?
02:36Because I don't know who that is!
02:37Yes!
02:49It was good you decided to come with me.
02:55I didn't decide anything.
02:57You said you killed me.
02:59I didn't go.
03:01Well...
03:01You decided it would be better to come with me than die.
03:06That was nice.
03:15We gotta stop for gas.
03:18But...
03:19You don't need gas.
03:23Call it a hunch.
03:36Hey, IOA, get up on the roof.
03:38Get up on the roof so I can see you until I get back.
03:41Move.
03:41Won't this look suspicious?
03:44Suspicious?
03:48And you're a riot.
04:01No!
04:02No!
04:06No!
04:08No!
04:10No!
04:11No!
04:11Did you just kill someone?
04:12I'm an assassin.
04:13That's what I do.
04:14I kill people.
04:15You didn't notice?
04:16You were hired to come here?
04:19I'm a holistic assassin.
04:20A what?
04:24A what?
04:26A what?
04:28A real interconnectedness of all things.
04:30I don't do your whole deal with sniper rifles, poison, or getting hired.
04:35I just...
04:36I kill whoever I feel like killing all day.
04:38And if I killed them, they were my target.
04:40The connection between cause and effect is much more, you know...
04:45Subtle.
04:46Don't you otherwise think.
04:50I mean...
04:52You wouldn't believe it.
04:54Things, they... they double up.
04:56They parallel.
04:58Everything is chaos, but it... it's synchronized.
05:02It's like...
05:03There's always something ready to mirror itself, like...
05:06Endlessly turning inward.
05:08I mean, don't get me wrong.
05:11A ditch just sounds like a murder spree.
05:15I've never killed the wrong person.
05:19I have killed a lot of people, though.
05:24Get in the car.
05:35And the other here, a little girl.
05:35Get in the car!
05:35Get in the car.
05:36And the other here, it's my husband.
05:39He's a little boy.
05:39He's a little boy.
05:39Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
05:40Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...
05:42Oh, my God.
05:48Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
05:55what happened the car turned off you're not gonna try and fix it
06:07the car turned off yes this is where the car turned off I'm sure we'll start up
06:12again when it's meant to cars are like that we're starting off and on again
06:19breaking down and then fixing themselves no they aren't
06:37buddy get out
06:50how come nobody's come looking for you I have your phone remember nobody's called
06:59it's been over a day now someone will call oh yeah who hi girlfriend right her she seems real
07:17who was that who is that guy with the tats and the shotgun that I killed at the power station
07:24what were you doing there why are you doing this to me doing this to you
07:34answer the question who is the guy that I killed the power station look I'm just
07:41I do power systems okay I'm an electrician technically look but people organizations
07:49individuals they hire me to do stuff illegal stuff look they hit me up online they wanted
07:55me to build some power converter to leech off a larger network okay I've never seen anything
08:01like it all right I was halfway through programming that you showed up
08:18thanks for telling me all that Ken
08:22the way my life works it's the most anybody said to me in over five years
08:27it's mostly just screaming and begging
08:32it's nice to listen to somebody else talk
08:43ain't nobody coming chum
08:50at least nobody always supposed to die
08:59hey buddy think I figured out your problem
09:08it's this carburetor I think I can fix it up but uh it doesn't take a bit of time okay
09:13great thank you
09:16I don't think there's a chance to die you could you know call a cab for me
09:22or something we're lucky we've met look at this this road's empty plenty of people die out here
09:32right no you wouldn't or won't die nobody's gonna die ever some people will die but that's just nature it's
09:39all just nature isn't it great that we're out here at nature together thank you
09:44thank you
09:45thank you
09:46you guys on drugs
09:48no
09:49a cab really why do you just ask him to fly you in a private jet
09:58you want some raisins
09:59no
10:02yes
10:04i haven't eaten for over 24 hours
10:12when i was a kid i was part of uh
10:15i don't know what it was
10:18a few others like me though
10:19others like you
10:21assassins
10:22i don't know
10:22i never got to meet them
10:25i heard about them though
10:27i think about them sometimes
10:32a lot more people talking to me back then
10:36so who is dark gently
10:41came to me in a dream i had
10:43the world will take me where i need to go
10:47i'm i'm like a leaf in the stream of creation
10:52until i find dark gently whoever whatever that is and then i'm a piranha
10:57in the stream of creation
11:00speaking of i should really kill this guy
11:02no no no wait wait wait wait
11:04wait wait
11:05what
11:06sorry
11:07we can't murder him
11:09why not
11:11he's helping us
11:17okay if you say so
11:23that'll do it
11:25sorry it took longer than i thought
11:28he should go
11:30what
11:30what
11:36you realize i'm gonna take the car
11:40take the car what what why
11:41you must be hell you must be the tenth couple we found out here
11:46we'll shoot you in the head
11:49cut you up
11:50sell the car for pieces
11:54cut that up too
11:55what
11:55wait wait wait
11:56no no no no listen listen listen
11:58i'm listening
12:01look man you're the one that's in danger
12:05okay
12:07hey
12:07y'all are just
12:09can i kill him now
12:12bear's in your cell
12:14yes
12:29okay
12:30okay
12:45here goes that
12:50oh my god oh my god jesus christ
12:52did you just dodge a bullet
12:54no bullet dodged me
12:56i can't be hurt universe won't allow it
12:59only constants are me and gravity
13:02i'm special that way
13:03you're insane
13:13dang
13:32what do you know
13:40you said you killed whoever you meet
13:42that's right
13:45i'm still here
13:48you haven't killed me yet
13:52it's true
13:54i guess that must mean you're special too
14:11you get in the car
14:13that's right
14:13um
14:24yeah
14:25yeah
14:25uh
14:25yeah
14:25yeah
14:41Ah, Jesus.
14:44Why?
14:46Because, you know, we were having fun.
14:49You were talking to me about stuff.
14:52You asked me questions and stuff.
14:54You know, it was good.
14:55Yeah, and then you killed that guy.
14:59Potato, potato.
15:02You're supposed to say it like potato, potato.
15:06What the hell is a potato?
15:15Oh, man, really?
15:17Do you know this song?
15:19Yes, of course.
15:21How, like, like you heard it before?
15:23Yes.
15:23Do you know the words of the song he's going to sing?
15:30How?
15:31Do they play the same song on the radio more than once?
15:35Yes.
15:37How could you possibly not know that?
15:39I don't, I don't, I don't know who the people on the radio are.
15:43I never met them.
15:45I don't know where they're singing from.
15:46They're, they're not singing anywhere.
15:49It's a recording.
15:52Oh.
15:54Oh, now you're laughing.
15:56No, I'm not laughing.
16:00They're singing.
16:00They're singing.
16:01They're singing.
16:02They're singing.
16:02Why?
16:03To prove you know it.
16:05I mean, I don't know the words of the songs and stuff, but then I turn on the radio and
16:08you know the words of the songs he's going to sing, you know?
16:10You know, it's kind of unbelievable.
16:16Who you are, where you're from,
16:21don't care what you did,
16:24and know you love me.
16:26How do you remember that stuff?
16:28Where you're from,
16:31don't care what you did, and know you love me.
17:04I don't care.
17:11HELP ME!
17:16HELP ME!
17:24Bart, is that you?
17:26Yeah, probably.
17:28Hey, can't you get us down from here?
17:30You know, with your thing?
17:32What thing?
17:33You know, your...
17:34flow of the universe thing.
17:38I thought you didn't believe in that.
17:42You know, it's funny.
17:43I knew...
17:44I knew I'd die.
17:47In some...
17:49Oh, some weird way, eventually.
17:51You know, for a pretty scared guy,
17:53you should hang around with some dangerous types.
17:56You kidnapped me!
17:57I meant before that.
18:00Yeah, well...
18:03Eventually, I thought I'd get a real job,
18:06but you get a payday from one bad guy,
18:08you get a payday from another bad guy.
18:10Hey, Ken.
18:11Yeah.
18:12You should know,
18:13when they come back,
18:15either you're gonna die,
18:17or I'm gonna kill all them,
18:18or you're gonna die,
18:19and then I'm gonna kill all them,
18:21or I'm gonna kill some of them,
18:23and then you'll get killed,
18:24and then I'll kill the rest.
18:26And no matter what happens,
18:28I want you to know that that's...
18:30the way it's meant to be.
18:32Well, what about you, Bart?
18:34You...
18:35You'll be fine no matter what?
18:36Yeah.
18:38I don't care.
18:44I do think I'm gonna miss you, though.
18:50Help me!
19:04Bart!
19:05Yeah?
19:06Bart!
19:07Bart!
19:07Ken?
19:08Please do something!
19:09Do anything!
19:10Something!
19:11Please!
19:11It doesn't work like that.
19:13Why?
19:14What?
19:15Oh, my God.
19:30These are the ones that killed Jake?
19:33They don't look like professional hires.
19:35Ken?
19:35Is that a new guy?
19:36Who sent you?
19:38The Cavatos?
19:39I don't know who the Cavatos are!
19:41Okay?
19:42She's crazy!
19:43All right?
19:43She killed him.
19:44Not me!
19:45I mean, I'm just here.
19:46She killed him!
19:47She's the one, man!
19:48This is just noise.
19:49I don't care.
19:51You're gonna burn.
19:52Ken?
19:53That new guy who just arrived,
19:55that's who we're waiting for.
19:57Mm-hmm.
19:58Listen!
19:59Please!
20:00Just get me down!
20:01I'm not the guy you want!
20:03She is!
20:04Okay?
20:05This'll shut him up.
20:06Do something!
20:44Put some clothes on.
20:47Yeah.
20:57You knew this was gonna happen.
21:00You knew this was gonna happen.
21:01Well, not this, but something like this, sure.
21:05It's real, isn't it?
21:07It's all real.
21:08You really are who you say you are.
21:11Some kind of killer angel.
21:15Angel?
21:15No.
21:21I really am what I say I am.
21:24I'm with you for a reason.
21:27My life is happening for a reason.
21:32Maybe, yeah.
21:34You have to find Dirk Gently.
21:36We need to kill Dirk Gently.
21:39You drive.
21:46This is fun!
21:53You hungry?
21:55No.
21:55Well, I'm starving.
21:57There's a restaurant right there.
21:58You want me to bring you back something?
22:00Doesn't matter.
22:01Look.
22:03You really think you'll miss your opportunity to kill Dirk Gently by eating some human food?
22:15What's this?
22:17Sweet and sour pork.
22:18Pork?
22:19Yeah, pork.
22:20You know.
22:21Pig.
22:24Why don't people call it pork?
22:26So they don't feel guilty about eating pigs.
22:28I've never seen any of this before.
22:30You've never had Chinese food?
22:32I've never been to China.
22:33But you must have eaten it in a restaurant.
22:36Food comes to me when I'm supposed to eat it.
22:40Hey, listen, um, you wouldn't happen to have any money.
22:44I have money.
22:46How much do you have?
22:50Seventeen thousand dollars.
22:57Whose rooms are these?
22:59It's ours.
23:00It's ours.
23:01What?
23:02How?
23:03I...
23:03It's a hotel.
23:04I mean, have you ever...
23:07You've never slept in a hotel room before?
23:09All this stuff.
23:11Your own room.
23:11It's kind of a parade just to sleep, right?
23:18Okay, I'm gonna take a shower.
23:20They got a shower in here?
23:21What?
23:22I don't...
23:23No.
23:26Bart, you okay?
23:29As much as I ever am.
23:32Well, you've been in there a while.
23:36This drink tastes bad.
23:38Drink?
23:39What?
23:40No, no, no, no, no.
23:41That's shampoo.
23:42Don't drink that.
23:43That's for your hair.
23:44Well, why's it got fruit on the bottle?
23:49Hey, Ken?
23:51Yeah?
23:53You're still here?
24:01Yeah, yeah.
24:10Bart?
24:14Bart, wait!
24:15I'm sick of hanging around like a coconut.
24:17You're slowing me down.
24:19All this sleeping and eating stuff
24:21distracts you from what you gotta get done.
24:23What?
24:23What?
24:24Where are you going?
24:25What are you doing?
24:25See?
24:26Here we go.
24:26Wait, what are you doing?
24:27I'm gonna kill that guy.
24:29That's there gently?
24:30I don't know, Ken.
24:31Let's kill him and find out.
24:33Wait, what?
24:33I thought we got over this.
24:34This is not like Red and the Bikers.
24:36You can't just kill some guy in broad daylight
24:39in the middle of a crowded street.
24:41It's what I do, Ken.
24:42It's all I do.
24:44It's the will of the universe.
24:45I know.
24:46I know.
24:47Okay, but you don't want to end up in jail, right?
24:50I mean, how are you going to fulfill your mission
24:52to kill Dirk Gently if you're locked up in a cell?
24:55Maybe that's where Dirk Gently is.
24:56In a woman's prison?
24:59You talk too much.
25:09Hey!
25:10You!
25:11Dickhead!
25:12Come over here!
25:14Come here!
25:20Listen to me.
25:22No more arguments.
25:23No more excuses.
25:24There is no stopping me.
25:25No even slowing me down.
25:27You touch me again.
25:29You get in my way again.
25:30I'm taking your head off.
25:36I need pants.
25:38I am done for Dirk!
25:41Dirk!
25:45Dirk!
25:46No down, Dirk!
25:55Get out of the way, you damn it!
26:14Run!
26:15Gun coming!
26:16Get out of the way!oro
26:28-? Stop!
26:40Drop your
26:41weapon. Drop it
26:42now!
26:59Stop running.
27:00Oh, not much choice.
27:02No, no, please, please.
27:04I don't know why you're doing this.
27:05You're supposed to die.
27:07I'm supposed to kill you.
27:09Everything led me here.
27:10To you, to this.
27:12Everything is connected.
27:19That's different.
27:29You're one of the others.
27:32You're like me.
27:36You're not like me.
27:39You're something different.
27:42You...
27:43Dirk!
27:44Dirk!
27:46Dirk!
27:50Dirk!
27:53Dirk!
28:00Dirk!
28:07Are you okay?
28:09Emotionally? Certainly not.
28:18God!
28:21Stop, stop, stop.
28:22I can't get hurt. It isn't possible.
28:24You've never been hurt before.
28:26It isn't possible.
28:27Cops are coming and we need to find a way out of here.
28:31All right, all right, if we can just get rid of ourselves now,
28:34maybe you can't get out the bag.
28:37I'll never walk again.
28:38Give it a close to the block for employees only.
28:44I got it. I got it.
28:47I got it. We're moving again.
28:49I messed up.
28:51What?
28:52I ruined everything.
28:53What are you talking about?
28:56I left my path and this is my punishment.
29:00I'm lost.
29:03The universe is broken.
29:08Please be quiet.
29:10Please.
29:11You gotta stop screaming.
29:14Can you stop screaming?
29:16Listen, you gotta stop screaming.
29:19Can you stop screaming?
29:38I'm going to kill that guy.
29:39Hey!
29:39Hey!
29:42Oh, God!
29:45Get this thing out of my leg.
29:47I read on the Internet that you're not supposed to do.
29:50I don't care what the stupid rectangle tells you to do.
29:52If I'm supposed to die, I will.
29:54I'm not going to go to the hospital.
29:57I give up.
29:59Just do it.
30:00I give up.
30:01You get hurt once and you give up?
30:02I can't get hurt.
30:04I'm always safe.
30:05I can't get hurt.
30:06Yeah, well, a roller coaster is safe, too, unless it goes off the track.
30:09The gobbly cook.
30:10What do you even know about anything?
30:12You assumed too much, Bart.
30:15You say you kill whoever you feel like killing.
30:17Did you feel like killing Dirk Gently right then?
30:20He was...
30:21He was there.
30:24I mean, it was different, but I knew, I thought, I thought that I knew that I was...
30:34That's what I thought.
30:35You shoot up a mall in the middle of the day and we just happen to get away?
30:39I walk you into a crowded hotel with a knife in your leg and we just happen to not get
30:44noticed?
30:45It's the universe.
30:47It's the stream of creation.
30:50Right, I have been doing nothing every day of my life and thinking it was that.
30:56Nothing.
30:57It was nothing.
30:59Okay, but now I can see it.
31:01And I don't know what it is and I can't name it, but I've seen it.
31:06Right, and that's greater than understanding.
31:08Okay, I believe.
31:10I believe in you, Bart.
31:13You talk to me.
31:15A lot.
31:16Look, we're gonna get you out of this tub.
31:18Mike, we're gonna find you some clothes without blood on them.
31:22We're gonna get you a weapon.
31:24We're gonna get out there and follow the web of the universe so you can do what you're supposed to
31:28do.
31:29Make you look gently.
31:31Or something.
31:34Okay, okay.
31:38But first...
31:41It makes you hurt real bad.
31:44It makes you cry.
31:47Makes you stronger.
31:50It's...
31:50Yeah.
31:53Yeah.
32:00I think you're right, Ken.
32:03I think I want to see where those two bullets go.
32:07Okay.
32:08You know, I'll bet...
32:10If you head out that door and start walking...
32:14You'll find out.
32:14You're dead.
32:34Yo.
32:52I'm sorry about earlier. I'll do it right this time.
32:55No, no, no. Bart.
32:58This is it. These bald guys. These are the guys that hired me.
33:03The day you found me.
33:05And this thing.
33:07This is the thing that they hired me to build.
33:22Can you fix this?
33:24Yes.
33:29It's my destiny.
33:40I think I did it.
33:43I think I finished it.
33:47Bart, this is why you brought me here.
33:50He's still got one bullet left.
34:09It's weird.
34:13No, no, no, no.
34:26Okay.
34:31Bye, Doc.
34:34Let's get out of here. These people are nutjobs.
34:49You hungry?
34:51What is it?
34:53Ethiopian.
34:55That's not a word. Is that a word?
35:02You did a thing back there with the thing.
35:05Yes, I did.
35:07You did too.
35:10Hey, that guy, uh, Dirt Gently.
35:14You weren't supposed to kill him.
35:17You were supposed to protect him.
35:19It's not the first time that's happened, is it?
35:22I was supposed to bring you there, too, so...
35:25And you did the thing, and now that you did it, maybe you're gonna leave and...
35:32Like, you did your destiny or whatever, and now that you did it, maybe you're gonna go.
35:40And...
35:41It's bad, Ken.
35:47But you do whatever you want, you know, because I kidnapped you, and...
35:53And it must have been really bad for you.
35:56You know, I didn't think about your feelings and all that, and...
36:08I don't want you to go. I...
36:10I think.
36:15Hey, um...
36:19I'm not going anywhere.
36:21I don't care.
36:25Uh-oh...
36:27Okay.
36:30Okay.
36:57I'm not.
37:04You want to run?
37:08Let's run!
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