- 2 days ago
Falling S01E03
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Short filmTranscript
00:23I
00:24was wondering if perhaps you wanted to get some clothes
00:29Yes, I probably should
00:31Good
00:35This is £200
00:38No, I can't take your money as well as your hospitality
00:41Well, the hospitality is a gift
00:43This is a loan
00:45No, you've done so much already
00:46I don't want to be any trouble
00:48Well, have you got a bank account?
00:50No
00:51Have you got any cash money?
00:54No
00:55Well, I don't know what your Bible says
00:58But mine is quite explicit about helping people in need
01:04My sons have moved out
01:07My husband left me
01:09I like having you here
01:11And if you find anything nice for the Harvest Festival
01:14I'll drop something at the church
01:15No, I didn't mean for you to go
01:17Oh, I have no intention of being afraid of him
01:21You're going to be okay, aren't you?
01:24Hmm
01:25Let's start with a question
01:28What do you think a priest is?
01:31People who talk to God
01:33Yeah, that's good
01:34Um
01:35But I actually think anyone can talk to God
01:37That's what prayer is
01:39A priest is a boss in church
01:42I like that
01:44I like that
01:45I like that
01:45Yes, we are
01:46Do you have a class representative?
01:48Someone who sits on a committee representing the class?
01:52Angus
01:55Are you Angus?
01:57On Wednesday we have race dinner
01:59But Angus decided we should have sausages instead
02:02So he talked to you about that decision?
02:04No
02:04Yeah
02:06I did
02:06No, you didn't
02:08Would you consider you elected him your representative leader?
02:12When it comes to lunch menus, at least
02:14Definitely
02:15Definitely?
02:17Okay
02:17Yeah?
02:18Right, well, I would say what I do is spiritual leadership
02:24I don't decide what we have for lunch
02:26But I do lead people, or try to, in their prayer and their worship
02:34And that's why I'm here today to talk to you about a festival we're going to be running at my
02:39church
02:39Who here has heard of Harvest Festival?
02:43Good
02:44And who can tell me what it's all about?
02:46Thank you for doing that
02:48Talking business, were you able to give any more consideration to my needle exchange idea?
02:53Yes, um, Harvest Festivals, Needle Banks
02:57They did warn me that you were radical when you came our way
03:00It's just a small capital investment
03:02Now this diocese is already running three full-time food banks
03:06I think there are six part-time banks
03:08And the deanery is going to take to opening its doors twice a week as a wall bank
03:13And there's countless outreach educational groups
03:16Okay, but those are all necessary
03:19The diocese has 53 million pounds in funds, 21 of which is cash in the bank
03:23Surely we can find this
03:24How long have you been with us? Is it two years?
03:28Three
03:28Well, don't you think you were settling properly before you tried taking on my job?
03:33Look, I know what happened with this nun
03:35And clearly, clearly there is no, no blame attached to you
03:39But it's not as if your copy book wasn't already blotted
03:42And now you're digging into our account
03:44I never knew that she was so flighty
03:49Silly
03:52Um
03:53I think there was, um, there was confusion
03:58Oh, there's no confusion, she took a vow
04:00She didn't even wait to ask for permission to leave
04:07I did, uh, if you want to find her, I do know where she is
04:09Well, we know where she is
04:11But the abbess, she wants
04:13She wants her to stew a little
04:15Poor Anna
04:16She has absolutely no idea of the real world
04:21Good luck, David
04:24Ah, and thanks once again
04:26Very kind of you
04:27I've got his vision
04:29Well, I know, there's a lot of people
04:33I've got her to see her
04:40Oh my God
04:46And he's got her
04:49And she's like
04:55You're taking her
04:55I wouldn't want her
04:56Not even know
04:56Oh my God
04:56To see her
05:44Oh, sorry. I need to count your... I'm sorry.
05:47I need to count your clothes.
05:50Need to count.
06:24I need to count your clothes.
06:27Oh, God.
06:49Let me take this.
06:50Thanks.
06:55It's a recruitment drive.
06:58You've discovered a way to recruit people.
07:02You love it. Admit it, you do.
07:05They get to feel charitable about donating a can of beans.
07:09They remind themselves they're Catholic, see the inside of a church.
07:12They might even, God forbid, come to the actual service.
07:15How many cans of beans do we have?
07:17I'd have a rough estimate, 467. I could fill the front three pews.
07:21Well, we could keep them and do that thing where we push you down here on the path for the
07:25beans.
07:26Well, I don't think that would do your reputation any good at all, especially now.
07:32It's all over the diocese, the pretty priest who steals sisters.
07:39It's not my fault she's flighty.
07:42Oh, flighty, is it?
08:08I brought home some food.
08:11It's Chinese, because I like it.
08:14Well, I hope you like it.
08:19It's pretty much like all food.
08:21How was your day?
08:23Uh, not the best.
08:25We're overrun.
08:27Well, I'm sorry.
08:28Yeah.
08:30We've been overrun for years.
08:33So what did you get?
08:37Shopping, I mean.
08:42It felt a bit much, to be honest.
08:46Oh?
08:49We need a drink.
08:51But first, I'm going to get you some clothes.
08:54See, we didn't have mirrors.
08:56Of course you didn't.
08:59And I, well, I seem to have lost the ability to look at myself, and yet everybody else seemed
09:04to want to look at me.
09:05It's almost as if I've forgotten what I look like.
09:10Not that I think I'm still 16.
09:12You've got a beautiful face.
09:14No, no, no.
09:15It's not a question of pride.
09:18Do you know, to be honest, I've got to admit, I don't like changing rooms either.
09:21Everything had short sleeves, and the tops, and the dresses, and I just wanted something
09:28to cover myself.
09:31What is it you want covered?
09:34Well, my arms and my legs.
09:38I mean, there were some long sleeves, but it's not that I don't like my arms.
09:44I mean, I don't really think about my arms, but I have never shaved my armpits, and everything
10:03felt very, well, very exposing of that, and I've also never shaved my legs.
10:15I am profoundly hairy.
10:42Father David.
10:49Oh, hi.
10:50I was called to a go-to replacing.
10:52Yes, of course.
10:53Take a seat.
11:38Thanks for coming.
11:41You're Lucy?
11:42Yeah.
11:44And thank you for bringing me.
11:48I care deeply about your mum.
11:51I missed her at Mass.
11:54Went in every day, right?
11:56That's right.
11:58Bet confession was a blast.
12:07Did she talk about me?
12:13I know you can't say.
12:21Wink for yes, Mamie.
12:26Gertrude is very kind around the parish.
12:32She wasn't...
12:36She wasn't...
12:37I wasn't Catholic.
12:39She wasn't Catholic when I was a child.
12:43She was when she was a kid, but found being an adult more...
12:49difficult.
12:52I'm guessing you two didn't always get on.
12:56No.
12:57No.
12:58She...
12:59liked to hurt.
13:06I'm sorry about that.
13:08I'm just...
13:13Pleased.
13:14Someone's forgiven her.
13:20It's time.
13:34Lucy, would you come in with me?
13:39The last rites are something really quite beautiful.
13:49It's a celebration of the sacraments of penance and viaticum.
13:54Viaticum is a Latin word meaning provision and love for the next part of the journey.
14:04We are takeal.
14:06With you.
14:08On the way.
14:15It's about faith.
14:16Of course.
14:17But I think it's mostly about love.
14:25It doesn't have to be about your forgiveness.
14:29I'm not challenging your anger.
14:32All that asks for is your support for her penance.
14:36And her journey.
14:44Do you have anything to say to me, Gertrude?
15:07If you're unable to talk, just squeeze my hand.
15:10If you're sorry for anything you've done wrong.
15:23I just want to say thanks, Gertrude.
15:30Thank you for being a really good friend to me and to the community.
15:37I think we schooled the very best of you.
15:43I love you.
15:46Very much.
16:05God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his son, has reconciled the world to himself and
16:12sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins.
16:15Through the ministry of his church, through the ministry of his church, may God give you peace and pardon.
16:25May I absolve you from your sins.
16:28In the name of the Lord.
16:30In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
16:34I don't know.
17:09I saw the lights on.
17:36I'm sure that would both be okay with that.
17:49I don't know.
17:51I don't know.
17:53I don't know.
18:09I don't know.
18:11I don't know.
18:18I don't know.
18:22I don't know.
18:25I don't know.
18:26I don't know.
18:27I don't know.
18:29I don't know.
18:30I'm just a priest.
18:33Listen.
18:36I'm about to be a woman with my girl.
18:42Spudgy.
18:44I know.
18:49About.
18:52She... for you.
18:55Is she OK?
19:00I haven't been to see her.
19:02She's OK.
19:09She's OK.
19:11She's OK.
19:11She's OK.
19:12You're not the she who plays.
19:13She's OK.
19:14She's OK.
19:21She's OK.
19:22Maybe a minute.
19:31Feel something.
19:39Maybe shh.
19:54You find a pair, Debbie.
20:04I don't like this.
20:05No, no.
20:07Just like this.
20:08I know.
20:10No.
20:42It's been a while since I've spoken.
20:47I was in Reading quite a big deal.
20:50I was given a lot of responsibilities in the diocese, a lot for my age.
20:53There were those that said I was to be the next bishop, quite a young bishop.
21:02There were a group of kids I was counselling.
21:05Not all Catholics, but I was pushing for a church that reaches out.
21:10I wasn't a trained counsellor, but I'd done courses and I thought the priesthood was social work.
21:20I thought this boy, I won't tell you his name, was being abused and I was trying to help him.
21:31Get him to admit what had happened to him.
21:35How he felt about it.
21:37Things I felt he needed.
21:41And he did tell me, he told me all sorts.
21:46There was his father raping him.
21:55And the difficult thing was...
22:03The difficult thing was that he told me he thought he liked it.
22:13And then he, um...
22:18He killed himself.
22:24It was very...
22:29Sad.
22:32No one blames me, but...
22:36People kept telling me to pray and kept wanting to pray themselves.
22:41And I led them. That's my job. I led them in praying.
22:45And...
22:47That's when I lost it.
22:51The ability to pray.
22:55I found I could only talk to God.
22:57I could only find God within myself when I drank.
23:01I found truth, solace.
23:08I don't know.
23:13And I took to starting the day with a drink.
23:20You know, I'm not blaming it on losing the kid.
23:24It was my own weakness.
23:26I'm not saying that was the reason, but it was the...
23:31trigger.
23:33Anyway.
23:37I was no longer talked of as a future bishop.
23:45Someone saw what was happening and I was taken away and treated.
23:49And...
23:50Helped.
23:54And...
23:54I moved in with my sister.
23:58And found a new life.
24:02Here.
24:05To try out for priests to move.
24:09But...
24:09Bristol was good enough to welcome me and...
24:14Felt I was doing good.
24:17Perhaps not good enough, but...
24:21Good work.
24:26But...
24:30Lately...
24:31Things have become disturbed.
24:39And I...
24:40I guess I'm...
24:44Scared.
24:45I'm gonna...
24:54Right now I need to drink so badly.
24:57Mm.
25:28In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
25:33Amen.
25:34The Lord be with you.
25:36And with your spirit.
25:39Lord, we have sinned against you.
25:42Lord, have mercy.
25:44Lord, have mercy.
25:47Show us your mercy and your love.
25:51And with your salvation.
25:53May Almighty God have mercy on us.
25:56Forgive our sins.
25:58And bring us to everlasting life.
26:01Amen.
26:02Amen.
26:16Uh, welcome.
26:19Um, welcome to something a bit different.
26:27Now, the Catholic Church is not known for its thieving, apart from all the things we've
26:32stolen.
26:35Um, but this today is an audacious act of larceny, taking back from the Church of England what
26:41is, in fact, a Catholic event.
26:44In fact, I'll go further.
26:45A Catholic embrace.
26:47A celebration not of plenty, but of eliminating what?
26:52Of giving and the understanding of need.
26:56Saint Isidore, often called the farmer and our saint of harvest, said this.
27:02When God's grace touches our innermost minds to bring understanding, his word, which is received
27:10by the ear, can sink deep into our heart.
27:17Today is an act of love.
27:21And let's start by singing hymn number 432, Come ye thankful people, come.
27:27And let's start by singing hymn number 432, Come ye thankful people, come.
27:46And let's start by singing hymn number 432, Come ye thankful people, come ye thankful people, come.
28:02I hope you didn't think I got my hair done for him.
28:05You had a haircut.
28:07Didn't get your hair done.
28:12I felt so ashamed sitting there.
28:14Well, you shouldn't have.
28:18I feel...
28:21I feel like I'm ten years old.
28:23Why, you're not!
28:25And I say that to someone who's shaved your armpits.
28:54Why, you're not.
28:57Who's with this?
28:58I don't know.
29:03Let me go.
29:19I'm sorry.
29:22I'm sorry.
29:23I was teasing.
29:25My fault.
29:31Okay.
29:34Stop it.
29:54Stop it.
30:09Dad.
30:12Your mother wanted to work.
30:17Who is he?
30:19It doesn't matter.
30:21I'm not discussing him with you.
30:23Why not?
30:24Because I don't want your judgment.
30:2726 years just torn up like that.
30:29That's not how I see it.
30:33I...
30:34I don't have to justify my choices to you.
30:37You just walk out on a job for a man who won't look at you.
30:41How do you see it?
30:43Did you come here just to shout at me, Mum?
30:45You were 16.
30:46I told you it was a mistake.
30:49You were so sure.
30:50Until suddenly you throw it all away.
30:53All that work.
30:53All that work?
30:54You made a commitment.
30:57A commitment which ripped my heart out.
31:02Your dad's heart out now means nothing.
31:04I made a commitment which I...
31:06I do not regret.
31:08Of course you regret it.
31:09But now I realize...
31:10Now you realize you've thrown away the best part of your life.
31:14And he doesn't want you back.
31:16Right?
31:18You made this choice and he doesn't want you back.
31:24That's the thing you could never understand.
31:27There's a point where you are.
31:29As a woman where we all are so beautiful.
31:32But now...
31:33I'm not.
31:37Go home.
31:40I needed to see you.
31:42You are making your problems mine.
31:45Mum, like you always do.
31:48Go home.
31:51Don't remember the wrong things from this.
31:53You've made your point.
31:56Go home.
32:19Hello, Father.
32:20Hello, Muriel.
32:22I was, um...
32:24I was wondering if I could talk to...
32:31I wondered if you fancied a walk?
32:43I enjoyed your harvest service.
32:47I was pleased to see you there.
32:50Surprised, if I'm honest.
32:52There's something basic, isn't there, about...
32:56The harvest is a time for sharing.
32:58It was originally Catholic.
33:01Until Henry VIII, there was a Catholic service and the Irish...
33:04Yes, I think you mentioned that a few times.
33:09How long did it take you to write it?
33:11For, uh, the salmon?
33:14Depends on why you're asking.
33:16I liked it.
33:17All the stuff about the true nature of giving.
33:20I...
33:21I thought you gave a really...
33:22A true analysis of generosity as an exchange.
33:26Yeah, thank you.
33:29Um, I...
33:30I write them very quickly.
33:32Often in the bath.
33:34And then I revise them quite a bit.
33:38So you...
33:39You write in the bath?
33:40Well, I actually dictate them into my phone.
33:43I can hear the water moving when I listen back.
33:46Oh.
33:47That's an odd image.
33:49I suppose there isn't a great deal to do.
33:52But I think...
33:53I mean, wet.
33:56No.
34:01My parents came to see me.
34:04Furious.
34:04About leaving your...
34:05Yeah.
34:06I thought you said they weren't especially Catholic.
34:08Well, my mum didn't want me to become a nun.
34:10But, uh, here I am.
34:12Doing it anyway.
34:13Oh.
34:14Leaving.
34:15Having ruined the best part of my life serving something fruitless.
34:19You haven't ruined the best parts of your life.
34:22If only you were my mother.
34:25My parents were troubled by my choice.
34:28My sister thought it was great.
34:30Not like the good old days when that third child will be stuffed off to the clergy.
34:34I think that's more of an Anglican tradition.
34:37Do they come to your services?
34:39Uh, both dead.
34:41My sister's still around her.
34:43She's a natural daughter.
34:44I was adopted.
34:46Oh.
34:48So, your parents were...
34:51Not white.
34:54Yeah.
34:56It's a bit strange how that question's always the first one people ask.
34:59Sorry for the boring question.
35:01It's not boring at all. Just marginally...
35:02Racist.
35:04Socially turning.
35:10I don't want to have sex with you.
35:14Sorry?
35:16I...
35:19I don't know what this is, but I've kept thinking about it and I just wanted to say that I
35:26don't think I want to have sex with you.
35:31Uh...
35:32Okay.
35:33Or, uh...
35:34Well, maybe I do. Maybe I'm just saying that to, um...
35:37But sex, the...
35:38The idea of...
35:39The sex...
35:40Even when you were talking about yourself, you know, in the bath, actually that...
35:44Didn't do it...
35:45For me, because...
35:47The idea of sex is...
35:49Truly terrifying to me, as I'm sure it is to you.
35:53Uh...
35:53I'm not even sure how I feel about kissing.
35:57I just don't know...
35:59What this is.
36:00It's...
36:02The way you make me feel, the way you've...
36:06Made me feel...
36:08In an instant, it's...
36:11It remains something I...
36:13I can't explain, or...
36:15Or even understand.
36:17Even now.
36:20I...
36:21It's something else, it's...
36:25Something more.
36:29So...
36:30That's it.
36:35Now...
36:36Now you have to talk.
36:45I just wanted to see you.
36:48Why?
36:51Because I like you.
36:56What a safe word to use.
37:01I suppose I was...
37:03Worried about you.
37:05Of course you are.
37:12But, um...
37:13Thank you for...
37:15The clarity...
37:18About the sex.
37:38I don't want to have sex with you.
37:43But I do want to hold your hand.
38:14My position hasn't changed.
38:19You're...
38:19You're worried for me.
38:21You don't want to have sex with me.
38:24And you don't have feelings for me.
38:25Are you going to keep saying the word sex?
38:27I know now. I still just can't stop.
38:32My promises are...
38:36Everything to me.
38:38My service to God...
38:41Matters...
38:42To me.
38:45My feelings for you...
38:48Are ones of care and friendship.
38:56Okay.
38:57All I want to do...
39:01I want to help you.
39:05You know, I threw my life up for you.
39:09And you can deny responsibility, but I...
39:12Hang on. I'm responsible.
39:13Yes.
39:14Yes, you are. And now you are...
39:15You're sat here like a wet pudding.
39:18And I feel like I'm the one who has to make you feel okay.
39:25And I, uh...
39:26I should go.
39:27But you came to my service.
39:28Yes, I came to your church.
39:30Why?
39:31To take part in a festival.
39:32Well, it felt like you were...
39:34What?
39:36What?
39:42I hoped it was an act of friendship.
39:49It must be lovely to have hopes like you've got.
39:51I...
39:54I want to be your friend.
39:56And help isn't a bad word.
39:58I want to support you in what you're doing.
40:00I want to...
40:03I can't be that.
40:11I'd like to be your friend.
40:12Okay.
40:14Well, I accept your friendship.
40:17You do?
40:18Yes.
40:19Yes, I do.
40:19But, uh...
40:21I am...
40:22I'm tired now.
40:23And I want to go home.
40:27Do you even know the way?
40:30I've, uh...
40:31Always been good at retracing my steps.
40:36You know, I was sure when I became a nun.
40:38And I am equally sure now.
40:41I...
40:41I just know that God's path for me has changed.
40:45And I...
40:46I...
40:48I believe...
40:50That God's path for you has changed too.
40:53I am not some caged bird who saw a means of escape.
40:59I saw what you felt.
41:04And I felt it too.
41:08I didn't imagine it.
41:10I...
41:39I...
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