- 9 hours ago
Henpecked Egbert Sousé has comic adventures as a substitute film director and unlikely bank guard. When he foils two robberies in one day, the town drunkard is hired to guard the local bank.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The End
00:01:39Egbert Sous?
00:01:41Why isn't that an odd name?
00:01:43It isn't pronounced Sous.
00:01:44Accent grave over the E. Egbert Souset.
00:01:48Oh, I see.
00:01:56What's he up to now?
00:01:57What is he up to?
00:01:58Young ass as good as mine, Ma. I never know what to expect next.
00:02:02Well, I bet you anything he's smoking up in his room again.
00:02:05Now, this time, Agatha, you've got to just tell him to stop.
00:02:09Now, it's his smoking gave me asthma.
00:02:11Oh, Ma.
00:02:11If he don't, I'm going on the count of you.
00:02:15Ma.
00:02:16Imagine a man trying to take care of his family by going to theater bank nights,
00:02:21working puzzle contests and suggesting slogans.
00:02:25Tuffle's ringing. Tuffle's ringing.
00:02:26Don't answer it, Elsa, Ma.
00:02:28It's probably the comma's wanting the lawnmower back.
00:02:30We're not finished with it yet.
00:02:33Hello, daughter.
00:02:35Hello.
00:02:36Hello, Myrtle.
00:02:37Hello.
00:02:38Hello.
00:02:40Now, Agatha, this time, you've just got to tell him.
00:02:43I just can't stand it.
00:02:45It's just a lingering death.
00:02:48If you don't, I will go on the count of you.
00:02:55What's eating you?
00:02:57My Sunday school teacher, Mr. Stackhouse,
00:03:00told me that he saw my father coming out of a saloon the other day
00:03:05and that Dad was smoking a pipe.
00:03:13I'll kill myself.
00:03:15Help, help.
00:03:16It's the only hell.
00:03:17I'll starve myself to death.
00:03:20That's the easiest way out.
00:03:22It's not so difficult to do.
00:03:25I tried it yesterday afternoon.
00:03:29Oh.
00:03:30That must be on.
00:03:32Will you excuse me?
00:03:35Not good.
00:03:38Why don't we get me more crumpets?
00:03:41Smoking and drinking
00:03:44and reading those infernal detective stories.
00:03:47The house just smells of liquor and smoke.
00:03:51Mary goes again down to the saloon
00:03:53to read that silly detective magazine.
00:03:56Mother's right.
00:03:57You've been smoking again in your room.
00:04:08Mother's right.
00:04:09Mary.
00:04:13Imagine the man who takes money out of a child's piggybank
00:04:16puts in IOUs.
00:04:21Don't you dare strike that child?
00:04:23You put that down.
00:04:24Put it down.
00:04:24Put it down.
00:04:26I'd like you to meet my father.
00:04:27Father, this is Og Ogleby.
00:04:31Og Ogleby.
00:04:33Sounds like a bubble in the bathtub.
00:04:37I'm glad to meet you.
00:04:39I'm very glad to meet you.
00:04:41Your father seems awfully nice.
00:04:44Yes, we think so.
00:04:58What seems to be the trouble?
00:05:03Are you carrying the proper amount of air in the tires?
00:05:07Had the brakes tested lately?
00:05:15Of course, it may be the wheelbase.
00:05:22Why don't you go away and mind your own business?
00:05:25Listen to the gentleman attentively, James.
00:05:28Be polite.
00:05:30Thank you, madam.
00:05:32Give me a shifting spanner, I'll fix it.
00:05:35A what?
00:05:35Monkey Ranch.
00:05:36Give the gentleman what he asked for, James.
00:05:49Here's all you gotta do.
00:05:51Just open up this nut here.
00:06:06Here, down Cape Cod, most of the...
00:06:09Here.
00:06:11Say, you might find a Vaseline in this place in here.
00:06:14Move the post over.
00:06:16I'd have interest in a cod liver oil mine down Cape Cod.
00:06:21Snowed all winter.
00:06:23We did a lot of boondoggling.
00:06:26Have you ever boondoggled, Joe?
00:06:28No, I can't say that I have.
00:06:32These clothes are pretty dry.
00:06:35They ought to sprinkle them with alcohol.
00:06:41How do you do?
00:06:44Meet you up at the Elks Club several weeks ago?
00:06:46No.
00:06:48No.
00:06:49Never did, eh?
00:06:50Ever do any boondoggling?
00:06:52No.
00:06:53Didn't have, yeah.
00:06:54Never have, eh?
00:06:55Fine to pull this.
00:06:57Never done boondoggling.
00:06:58Nothing wrong, then.
00:07:00Might have been another fella, I guess.
00:07:03Take off your hat for a present for a terrible one.
00:07:08Well?
00:07:11Here she goes.
00:07:12Down the hatch.
00:07:31But I tell you, he's drunk, QQ.
00:07:34Said he had trouble with his wife.
00:07:36Yes.
00:07:38We have tried, but he isn't sober.
00:07:41The best I can.
00:07:43But you don't understand QQ.
00:07:46Hello?
00:07:48Hello?
00:07:52The best I can.
00:07:55Give me a...
00:07:56Good morning.
00:07:56Good morning.
00:07:57What can you give me if you have some shattered nerves?
00:07:59I got the inside memes, the jitters.
00:08:01Joe, if the gentleman has butterflies in his stomach,
00:08:03I suggest to dash a rover in it.
00:08:06Rover?
00:08:07Uh, dog.
00:08:08Absinthe.
00:08:10It's very good for the nerves.
00:08:14That's fine.
00:08:16That's just what I needed.
00:08:21My name's Green.
00:08:22Macly Q. Green.
00:08:23And a man won't be set by trouble you'll never see.
00:08:25Again.
00:08:26I'm out here in Lompoc in a movie location.
00:08:28My director started on a bender last night and that's always good for 10 days.
00:08:31We got a 36 hour schedule and a Stinko script.
00:08:34It's a one reel and a buck key and it opens in this very town the day after tomorrow.
00:08:37Huh?
00:08:39Oh, you're yelling right down my alley.
00:08:41In the old Senate days, I used to direct Fatty Arbuckle, Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton and the rest of them.
00:08:49I can't get the celluloid out of my blood.
00:08:53Nights are used to 10 bar.
00:08:56Would you entertain a proposition to direct this picture?
00:09:00Um...
00:09:00Take a gambler's chance on a percentage of the profit spaces?
00:09:04Um...
00:09:04Yes.
00:09:05Just a moment.
00:09:07Uh...
00:09:08Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill?
00:09:12Yeah.
00:09:14Oh, boy.
00:09:15What a load that is off my mind.
00:09:19I thought I'd lost it.
00:09:21Here you are.
00:09:22Keep the change.
00:09:23I've got a script that I've had in Mothballs for 20 years.
00:09:27I read it to Irving and Milton who run the, uh, Gem Cinema down here.
00:09:32They send to me, they send Suze.
00:09:36It's better than going with the wind.
00:09:38My car's outside.
00:09:39Let's get down on the set.
00:09:40Okay.
00:09:44Uh, I'll bring the glasses back later.
00:09:54Take a note, please.
00:09:57Oh, Mr. Clark, it's good for you.
00:10:02Still can't do a thing with him, Mr. Green.
00:10:04He's tight as a snare drum.
00:10:05We won't bother any more with him.
00:10:07Mr. Suze here will take over the direction.
00:10:09Oh, fine.
00:10:09Glad to meet you, Mr. Suze.
00:10:11Oh, glad to meet you.
00:10:13Oh, glad to meet you.
00:10:13Much better than that.
00:10:16Here comes Francois and Miss Plupp.
00:10:28Oh, yeah.
00:10:31Ah, this is Miss Plupp, I take it?
00:10:34Uh, yeah.
00:10:36And, uh, you're Francois?
00:10:38This is Mr. Suze.
00:10:39He's taking over the direction of the picture.
00:10:41Uh, did you sleep well last night?
00:10:43Oh, I, uh, uh, maybe, uh, au pair?
00:10:48Come see, come saw.
00:10:50I don't know whether this part is suited to my personality or not.
00:10:55Don't give it a thought.
00:10:56I've changed everything.
00:10:58Instead of it being an English drawing room dreamer,
00:11:02I've made it a circus picture.
00:11:04Now, if you don't just sit there, take down everything he says.
00:11:07Good morning, Mr. Green.
00:11:09Ah!
00:11:10It's Saturday afternoon.
00:11:12You make touchdown after touchdown.
00:11:15You kick goals.
00:11:17You make passes.
00:11:18You make the longest run with a ball that was ever made on the field.
00:11:24These clothes.
00:11:26Um, you can change your hat.
00:11:36That's all right, Mr. Clamp.
00:11:38Everything's gonna be all right.
00:11:40Just take...
00:11:41Uh, he sees you in the $50 seats.
00:11:44He immediately falls in love with you.
00:11:47He can't take his eyes off you.
00:11:49How can he play baseball and watch me in the grandstand?
00:11:55Wait a minute.
00:11:56It's part of the pot.
00:11:58Come on, boy.
00:12:02Hold them up.
00:12:04And swell, are you?
00:12:05You're doing good.
00:12:06Good.
00:12:08We're playing a thing very secret.
00:12:11Ah, salaries, please.
00:12:16Come on, boys.
00:12:18Come on.
00:12:19Ah!
00:12:29It's him.
00:12:31Put on little Pete.
00:12:32Uh, touch the arm.
00:12:36Ah, well, just walk through this thing.
00:12:38You can take it from where, uh, Miss Bup, where you come down on to the grandstand.
00:12:42He makes me sick.
00:12:44Shall I bounce a rock off his head?
00:12:46Respect your father, darling.
00:12:47What kind of a rock?
00:12:49Oh, shut up.
00:12:50Well, you're both madly in love with each other.
00:12:54Embrace.
00:12:58Is she standing in a hole?
00:13:00No, sir.
00:13:01Uh, well, all right.
00:13:02Go ahead.
00:13:03Read your line.
00:13:06When...
00:13:07It's all right.
00:13:08You're doing all right.
00:13:11Nice.
00:13:11Nice cigars, kid.
00:13:12You know the brand.
00:13:13We're making motion picture history here.
00:13:16I want quiet.
00:13:17Quiet from everybody.
00:13:20Ah!
00:13:21Ah!
00:13:23Ah!
00:13:24Ah!
00:13:24Drunk again.
00:13:29Look out.
00:13:30Take your dirty hands off me and get back to your places.
00:13:37Here.
00:13:39Ah, give this, uh, that number seven expression.
00:13:44Close eyes.
00:13:45Close ears.
00:13:47I want to be in the picture.
00:13:51Ah, I'll put you in later on, dear.
00:13:53Ah, give me the...
00:13:56What's the matter, Pop?
00:13:57Don't you love me?
00:13:59Don't you dare strike that child.
00:14:01Ah, it's not going to tell me I don't love her.
00:14:05Those eyes.
00:14:07Those eyes.
00:14:08Those ears.
00:14:10That nose.
00:14:12God!
00:14:13God damn it!
00:14:16Mother of pearl.
00:14:19The child is only playing with you, you fool.
00:14:22No.
00:14:23I don't understand her funny.
00:14:27Let's, uh...
00:14:32Uh, now to continue.
00:14:34Uzo!
00:14:42Um...
00:14:43Thanks.
00:14:43Oh.
00:14:44Uh, steady that script.
00:14:46Uh, steady, come on.
00:14:47Mr. Souze!
00:14:48Mr. Souze!
00:14:49Mr. Souze!
00:14:50How do you like that?
00:14:53Mr. Green, you're having to know the things to worry about.
00:14:56I'm perfectly okay.
00:14:58You'll look it.
00:15:06Getting quite late.
00:15:08It is.
00:15:09See you still at it.
00:15:11Serves your right.
00:15:13Be courteous, James.
00:15:16Yes, ma'am.
00:15:16Come on.
00:15:23We'll leave the motor running.
00:15:24Come on.
00:15:35Pass over all that dough and do it quietly.
00:15:38Imagine the guy parking his car in front of a no parking sign with the engine running.
00:15:41Yeah, two buck five will do him a lot of good.
00:15:43Let's take it down to headquarters.
00:15:47Don't forget to keep your foot off that alarm.
00:15:52Somebody must have nailed the car.
00:15:53Let's take it on the lane.
00:15:59Help!
00:15:59Help!
00:16:00Police!
00:16:00Help!
00:16:03Help!
00:16:05Help!
00:16:07Help!
00:16:08Help!
00:16:09Police!
00:16:11Now, cut that money up right now.
00:16:12Keep going.
00:16:13Of course when we get to put it up.
00:16:14Oh, whatever.
00:16:15Come on.
00:16:16How much money you got here?
00:16:17Start counting.
00:16:17No.
00:16:18What's the matter?
00:16:18Don't you trust me?
00:16:19No.
00:16:19I don't trust nobody.
00:16:20Not even my mother.
00:16:21Come on.
00:16:21Give me my end to that.
00:16:22Try and lose me, will you?
00:16:26Bye, Glovers.
00:16:27Two of them went down this aisle.
00:16:32Out of tea, Joe.
00:16:35I'll be drinking sarsaparola next.
00:16:39Give me half of that.
00:16:40I will not.
00:16:53I will not.
00:16:54Must be another hold up somewhere, I guess.
00:17:14There they are.
00:17:17There they are.
00:17:18That's not one of the crooks.
00:17:20That's Mr. Suze.
00:17:21Hey.
00:17:21Yeah, Suze.
00:17:22Excellent drive.
00:17:23Over there.
00:17:24A mighty fine job, Mr. Suze, apprehending this desperata retrieving the bank funds.
00:17:29What?
00:17:29Well, you say the $50,000, that's the most important part, anyway.
00:17:33Yeah, $50,000 ain't hay now.
00:17:35That fella got away on you, huh?
00:17:37What happened?
00:17:37Uh-huh.
00:17:38Yes.
00:17:39Yes, yes, yes.
00:17:41He got away.
00:17:41Pull a knife on me that long.
00:17:43That's the guy.
00:17:43Gee, it's lucky you had that revolver.
00:17:45You always carry it with you?
00:17:46Yeah.
00:17:47Well, I'll take this.
00:17:48Yeah, we detectives gotta do those things, you know.
00:17:51Never know when you're gonna catch a couple of bank robbers.
00:17:53I know Mr. Skinner would like to see you and thank you personally after what's just happened.
00:17:57Why don't you drop him to the bank?
00:17:58Oh, I will.
00:17:59I'll go down and tell him all about it.
00:18:00Hey, which way did the other fella go?
00:18:02Uh, the other fella...
00:18:03We said another fella...
00:18:04He went away.
00:18:05He went away.
00:18:05He went away.
00:18:06He went away.
00:18:07Look out.
00:18:08I'll give him a punch in the nose.
00:18:12See those handcuffs are on tight, will ya?
00:18:15You better come down to headquarters and identify this.
00:18:17Okay.
00:18:17I'll break every bone in his head.
00:18:19Myrtle should be mighty proud to have a father like you, Mr. Suzette.
00:18:21Yeah, I guess she is.
00:18:24No wonder.
00:18:25After a thing like that...
00:18:28Elsie Mae and Dale brunt Suzette's father just caught a burglar.
00:18:33And he tried to cut his throat with a knife about this long.
00:18:37Yeah.
00:18:38And he had a gun about this big.
00:18:40Yeah, don't say.
00:18:42Did you kill him with one boy and Mr. Suzette?
00:18:45Mm-hmm.
00:18:46Ooh.
00:18:47Geez.
00:18:48Geez.
00:18:49That's good.
00:18:50Geez.
00:18:50One or two bullets.
00:18:52I don't know.
00:18:53I was so busy shooting him, you know.
00:18:54That's the way I catch burglars.
00:18:56Hey, go on.
00:18:56Do another.
00:18:57Oh, boy.
00:18:59Ooh.
00:19:00That's great.
00:19:00That's great.
00:19:01I'll teach you when you grow up.
00:19:04I never smoked a cigarette when I was nine.
00:19:07Oh.
00:19:11Sign my autograph book Mr. South?
00:19:14Uh, Suzette sign.
00:19:15Accent grab over the E.
00:19:18You say, Susette.
00:19:20I saw you through the window.
00:19:21Oh, did you?
00:19:22A knife four feet long.
00:19:23Oh, say.
00:19:25The sword that Lee surrendered a grant was a potato peeler by comparison.
00:19:30Say, you better come in and have a little polis on the house.
00:19:32I don't find it right there.
00:19:40Mr. Suze, here's the interview you gave me for my paper.
00:19:44I'd like to have you look it over and see if it's correct.
00:19:46Oh, thanks.
00:19:48I'll peruse it in Santa.
00:19:50Oh, yes. Skinner's National Bankground.
00:19:53Egret Suze makes daring and heroic...
00:19:58Hey, you!
00:20:00...of Loudmouth McNasty.
00:20:01Alias the Wildcat.
00:20:05Drawing his revolver...
00:20:07...which he carries for such emergencies...
00:20:10...he struck McNasty.
00:20:14You see, putting things like that on motor cars is what kills people.
00:20:19Get out of there!
00:20:22For such emergencies...
00:20:23...you see...
00:20:41Lompoc Picayune intelligence juror just got a special edition...
00:20:45...telling how I apprehended them two crooks.
00:20:48For heaven's sake, Egret, can't you see we're playing an interesting game?
00:20:52There was an article in there...
00:20:54...telling how I apprehended a couple of crooks...
00:20:57...who stole two million dollars...
00:20:59...from Skinner's Lompoc Bank.
00:21:02You would...
00:21:03...Skimmer's Lompoc Bank.
00:21:05See, them's the Shylocks...
00:21:07...has got the mortgage on this house, ain't they?
00:21:08They're haunting you from morning till night...
00:21:10...the old pinch pennies.
00:21:12What's your move?
00:21:13I'm sorry they didn't get away with the bank.
00:21:16Leave it to him.
00:21:17He would do a thing like that.
00:21:19Um...
00:21:19...I think I'll go up to my room for a moment.
00:21:22Uh...
00:21:23...they want me to come down to the bank to get a reward...
00:21:25...or a job or something.
00:21:27I'll get down in the morning.
00:21:31Don't you smoke up in your room?
00:21:33Oh!
00:21:34No, I won't, dear.
00:21:38What am I doing?
00:21:43Oh, hello.
00:21:45Hello, honey.
00:21:45Gee, that was a great stunt your father pulled today.
00:21:47Huh?
00:21:47Yeah, two crooks got in the bank and stole $25,000.
00:21:50Gee, I never knew your father had so much intestinal fortitude.
00:21:53Are you kidding?
00:21:53No!
00:21:54Oh, come on, let's talk about us, dear.
00:21:57Then your father took his pistol and hit one of the fellas over the head.
00:22:00He hasn't got a pistol.
00:22:01And the papers say that your father took an ass-a-guy...
00:22:04...a double-edged ass-a-guy from one of the fellas.
00:22:06A what-s-a-guy?
00:22:06An ass-a-guy, a sword.
00:22:08Well, where did the newspapers get the story?
00:22:10From your father.
00:22:10He admitted the whole thing to the police.
00:22:12Oh, well, let's talk about ass-a-dog.
00:22:17Oh.
00:22:17Well, I got my bonus pretty soon.
00:22:20I've already picked out your engagement ring.
00:22:23Oh, oh, oh.
00:22:25Oh, hoagie.
00:22:28Oh, golly.
00:22:41I have an appointment with Mr. Skinner present to the back.
00:22:44Except to one side, please.
00:22:45Yes, thank you.
00:22:49Thank you, Miss Carroll.
00:22:51I had an appointment with Mr. Skinner.
00:22:54Please, just to one side.
00:22:58Oh.
00:23:00All right, sir.
00:23:02There you go.
00:23:03I, uh, the President, um...
00:23:05Please, will you step to one side?
00:23:07Just a moment.
00:23:11Nice weather we're having.
00:23:12Yes, it is.
00:23:13Yes.
00:23:14Plumber observation.
00:23:15How have you been, Mr. Petty?
00:23:16Fine, thank you.
00:23:16That's good.
00:23:17It's very interesting.
00:23:21Uh, uh...
00:23:23Well...
00:23:30How do you do?
00:23:33How are you, sir?
00:23:34Oh, well, as can be expected, after that tussle I put up with those two bandits.
00:23:38Oh, yes.
00:23:39Yeah, I went to see the doctor.
00:23:41And, uh, he says, as a result of that scrap, I'll probably have to have a kidney and my gallbladder
00:23:46is, uh, removed.
00:23:48Yeah, he said, also may need an appendectomy.
00:23:52Yeah, I saw young Ogilvy. He told me to come up and see the President.
00:23:55Oh, yes. Will you, will you step aside, please?
00:23:57Uh-huh.
00:23:58Just step one side.
00:24:02Good morning, sir.
00:24:03How are you?
00:24:04I, I'm going to draw my money out of the bank.
00:24:06Well, you're not going to close your account with us, are you?
00:24:08I sure is.
00:24:10Well, is there any particular reason?
00:24:12Yeah, sir, I'm scared.
00:24:14Eh, every time I come in here, you got your hat on, look like you're getting ready to take off.
00:24:19It keeps me nervous.
00:24:20Oh, I just wear this hat on account of a little hay fever.
00:24:26Oh, excuse me.
00:24:27That's all right. I haven't any right standing in front of the hole.
00:24:31Where's his office? He's, is he in?
00:24:33Oh, no. Oh, Mr. Skinner's office is right over there, yes. Right over there.
00:24:38Oh, good morning.
00:24:39Oh, good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning.
00:24:40Mr. Skinner's expecting you.
00:24:42Is he? Oh, thanks very much. I'll go right in.
00:24:45We want to show our appreciation of your gallantry and daring.
00:24:49And I wish to personally give you a hearty handclasp.
00:24:53Oh, thanks.
00:24:54Hearty handclasp, yes.
00:24:56And to present you with the company's compliments, one of our 1940 calendars.
00:25:03Made especially for this bank.
00:25:05Entitled, Spring in Lompoc.
00:25:08Oh.
00:25:11Doesn't look unlike the Mona Lisa.
00:25:13Won't you be seated?
00:25:15Oh, thanks.
00:25:15I've been in consultation with our director, and we've decided that what has been needed in this bank for a
00:25:20long time is a special officer.
00:25:21Oh, yeah.
00:25:22Or to revert to the argo, the underworld, a bank dick.
00:25:26Oh, yeah.
00:25:26In lieu of your heroism, your valiant, dauntless courage, I have the honor to offer you this position.
00:25:32Oh, thank you.
00:25:33The remuneration at first will be very small.
00:25:35We're a growing concern.
00:25:37Yes.
00:25:37We're young.
00:25:38Yes.
00:25:38But there are a great many chances for advancement.
00:25:40Who knows, within a short time you may become my vice president.
00:25:44Oh.
00:25:45My first and only vice.
00:25:48Very good.
00:25:50Uh, what time of the morning?
00:25:52The bank opens at 10 o'clock.
00:25:54Oh, well, that's all right.
00:25:56If I'm not here on time, uh, just go right ahead without me.
00:26:01I'll catch up with you.
00:26:02And, oh, yes, we will deduct a certain amount from your salary each week, which will go to pay off
00:26:07the interest of the mortgage on your home.
00:26:09Yes, yes.
00:26:09Otherwise, it will necessitate our foreclosing.
00:26:12And in view of what has transpired, that would cause us heartfelt contrition.
00:26:16Ah, you took the very words right out of my mouth.
00:26:20Well, I'll see you here Monday, then.
00:26:23And, uh, I'll bring my, uh, detective disguises with me.
00:26:35Ah, listen now.
00:26:37There's more to this detective business than meets the eye.
00:26:41It requires cunning and resourcefulness.
00:26:44And I have both.
00:26:46Now I have a thousand disguises at home.
00:26:49Well, I'll come in here with one of those disguises on, see?
00:26:52If you recognize me, you go, uh...
00:26:56Oh, like this?
00:26:58Not up high like that.
00:26:59It's too blatant.
00:27:00Pull it down there.
00:27:01Just give me a little one like that.
00:27:03Now, if you don't recognize me, go, uh...
00:27:06Well, if you don't recognize me, you won't know what to do.
00:27:10And you won't recognize me.
00:27:12Now, I'll be in here later.
00:27:38I'll be in here.
00:27:45I have to use your gun.
00:27:47I really have a reason for a snort this morning.
00:27:52After that bout I put up with those two crooks, I'm still arm-weary.
00:27:57The president of the bank called me and he says,
00:27:59Suze?
00:28:01I says, yes?
00:28:03He says, I want you down here for our bank deck.
00:28:07We wanted a bank deck for a long while.
00:28:09He says in your Christmas box, will in all probability be the vice-presency of this bank.
00:28:16What'll it be?
00:28:19Debt's bombs.
00:28:28Keep your hat off.
00:28:40Keep your hat off there.
00:28:50Very tasty.
00:28:51I think I'll have another one.
00:28:55Some fresh water.
00:29:02What a towel, thank you.
00:29:04I would like to bathe in the same water twice.
00:29:10Good little drink, isn't it?
00:29:13Pardon me.
00:29:14I couldn't help overhearing your conversation.
00:29:17Pardon me.
00:29:18Pardon me.
00:29:19It's quite all right.
00:29:21Waterberry's my name.
00:29:22Jay Flotheringham Waterberry.
00:29:23Oh, thank you.
00:29:24Very glad to know you.
00:29:25My name's Suze.
00:29:26How do you do, Mr. Suze?
00:29:27I sent the grab over the E.
00:29:29Oh, so?
00:29:30I mean the bond and stock business.
00:29:32Oh, yeah.
00:29:33I have 5,000 shares of the Beefsteak Mines in Leapfrog, Nevada, and I want to turn over to your
00:29:37bank.
00:29:38I like this little town.
00:29:39I want to get some context, and I think you're the very man.
00:29:42Now, these shares are selling for 10 cents a share.
00:29:46And...
00:29:5210 cents a share.
00:29:53Oh, that's terrible.
00:29:54That's so good.
00:29:55Well, these shares are selling for 10 cents a share.
00:29:57Yeah?
00:29:57Now, a telephone company won't sold for 5 cents a share.
00:30:005 cents.
00:30:00These shares are twice as expensive.
00:30:02Sure.
00:30:03Therefore, consequently, they'll be twice as valuable.
00:30:05Sure, they will.
00:30:05Naturally, you're no dunce.
00:30:07Oh, no.
00:30:07The telephone is now listed at 173.
00:30:10173?
00:30:10And you can't buy it.
00:30:12173?
00:30:12$3,460 for every nickel you put into it.
00:30:17Now, the point I'm trying to make is this.
00:30:20Huh?
00:30:20The point I'm trying to make is these shares sell for 10 cents.
00:30:24It's simple arithmetic.
00:30:26If 5 will get you 10, 10 will get you 20.
00:30:28Sure.
00:30:2916-cylinder cars.
00:30:31A big home in the city.
00:30:33Balconies upstairs and down.
00:30:34Home in the country.
00:30:36Big trees.
00:30:37Private golf course.
00:30:38Stream running through the rear of the estate.
00:30:40Warm Sunday afternoon fishing under the cool trees.
00:30:43Sipping ice-cold beer.
00:30:46I could almost see the foam there.
00:30:48Ham and cheese on rise.
00:30:50With mustard.
00:30:51Yeah.
00:30:52We have plenty of mustard at the house.
00:30:54And then this guy comes up the shady drive.
00:30:56In an armored car from the bank.
00:30:58And he dumps a whole basket of coupons worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.
00:31:03Yeah?
00:31:04Right in your lap.
00:31:05Yeah?
00:31:05And he says, sign here, please, on the dotted line.
00:31:08I'll have a fountain pen by that time.
00:31:10Yes, and then he's off.
00:31:11To the soft chirping of our little feathered friends in the Arboreal Dell.
00:31:15Oh.
00:31:16That's what these bonds mean.
00:31:17They do, eh?
00:31:18I'd rather part with my dear old grandmother's paisley shawl or her wedding ring than to part with these bonds.
00:31:25Ah, it must be tough to lose a paisley shawl.
00:31:29Like you.
00:31:31Yes, go ahead.
00:31:32Gosh.
00:31:33Oh, pardon my language.
00:31:34Oh, it's all right.
00:31:35I swear, sometimes myself, yeah.
00:31:38But it's no one ever.
00:31:39It must be done.
00:31:40So take it or leave it.
00:31:42I'll take it.
00:31:44Fine, fine, fine.
00:31:47I'll leave me down to the bank in about an hour.
00:31:49Why, certainly.
00:31:50My car.
00:31:51Oh, thanks.
00:32:03Boy, I've got you set for life.
00:32:05I don't hang around that black pussy cafe for nothing.
00:32:08I met a poor fellow who's in trouble.
00:32:10Except the matter with his grandmother's paisley shawl.
00:32:13He has 5,000 shares in the beefsteak mine, and you can buy them for a handful of hay.
00:32:19Hay?
00:32:20And they're worth?
00:32:21Ten cents a share.
00:32:23Telephone sold for five cents a share.
00:32:26How would you like something better for ten cents a share?
00:32:29If five get you ten, ten will get you twenty.
00:32:32Beautiful home in the country, upstairs and down.
00:32:37Beer flowing through the estate over your grandmother's paisley shawl.
00:32:42Beer?
00:32:44Beer!
00:32:46Fishing in the stream that runs under the arboreal dell.
00:32:51A man comes up from the bar, dumps $3,500 in your lamp for every nickel invested.
00:33:00Says to you, a sign here on the dotted line.
00:33:05And then disappears in the waving fields of alfalfa.
00:33:10Gosh.
00:33:11Do you think he was telling the truth?
00:33:13You don't think a man would resort to taradiddle, do you?
00:33:16Why, he sound like a child at the very thought of disposing of these shares.
00:33:23How does the bank make its money?
00:33:24By investing.
00:33:25That's the point.
00:33:26Now, you don't want to work all your life.
00:33:28Take a chance.
00:33:30Take it while you're young.
00:33:32My uncle, a balloon ascensionist, Effingham Hoofnagle, took a chance.
00:33:39He was three miles and a half up in the air.
00:33:41He jumped out of the basket of the balloon and took a chance of lighting on a load of hay.
00:33:48Golly.
00:33:49Did he make it?
00:33:53Uh, no.
00:33:54No.
00:33:54Oh, oh.
00:33:55He didn't.
00:33:56Had he been a younger man, he probably would have made it.
00:34:00That's the point.
00:34:01Don't wait too long in life.
00:34:09I've never done anything like this.
00:34:11And another thing, I haven't got the money.
00:34:15Of course, my bonus comes due in four days.
00:34:17That's $500.
00:34:19I could buy them then, and then with all that money, why, I really might be worthy of your
00:34:23daughter's hand.
00:34:24Women really appreciate the fine things in life.
00:34:27You don't want to die and leave your wife and children paupers, do you?
00:34:32No.
00:34:32Four of the $500 from the bank.
00:34:35You intend to pay it back when your bonus comes due, don't you?
00:34:38Oh, sure.
00:34:39Surely.
00:34:40Don't be a luddy-duddy.
00:34:41Don't be a mooncalf.
00:34:44Don't be a jabber now.
00:34:45You're not those, are you?
00:34:47No.
00:34:48Well, I guess there's no way you could confuse it with stealing, is there?
00:34:52Nothing could be more absurd.
00:34:54Well, all right, send him in.
00:34:56He won't be here till 11 o'clock.
00:35:14What do you need?
00:35:15Bad!
00:35:16God, dear.
00:35:17Is that gun loaded?
00:35:19Certainly not, but I think you are.
00:35:22Mommy, doesn't that man have a funny nose?
00:35:25If you want to make fun of the gentleman, Clifford, you'd like to have a nose like that
00:35:29full of nickels, wouldn't you?
00:35:32I'll throw him in the waste paper basket the next time he comes in here.
00:35:48I'll throw him in the waste paper basket the next time he comes in here.
00:36:02How do you do?
00:36:03How do you do?
00:36:04I'm the officer.
00:36:05Can I help you in any way?
00:36:06I'd like to see Mr. Skinner, the president of the bank, please.
00:36:08Oh, yes.
00:36:09He'll be very glad to see you, I'm sure.
00:36:11He'll be very glad.
00:36:14Jay Pickett and Snoopington, bank examiner, is that right?
00:36:18Yes.
00:36:18Yeah, he'll be very glad to see you.
00:36:21But he's gone out the golf course on business, and he probably won't be back till midnight.
00:36:28If he does return, where can I call you?
00:36:29Where are you stopping?
00:36:30I'm stopping at the new old Lompoc House on the avenue.
00:36:33Oh, new old Lompoc House.
00:36:35Frank Criddlehopper, the management, I know him well.
00:36:38You do.
00:36:39If you need anything during the night, just mention my name, won't you?
00:36:42Yes, yes, I will.
00:36:43That's fine.
00:36:50That's some bad news for you.
00:36:51Can you take it now, or shall I hold it off a little longer?
00:36:55That was the bank examiner, wasn't it?
00:36:58You guessed it the first time.
00:36:59Oh, I knew this would happen.
00:37:01I was a perfect idiot to ever listen to you.
00:37:06You listen to me, Arn.
00:37:08There's nothing in this world that is perfect.
00:37:12It'll be four days before I get my bonus and can replace that money.
00:37:16Oh, was I dope.
00:37:18I've sacrificed everything.
00:37:19My job, my marriage to your daughter.
00:37:22You piqued my daughter's name out of this.
00:37:25Don't you ever tell me again I'm not a jobber now, the mooncalf.
00:37:31Please get out of the office, Mr. Suze.
00:37:33This is terrible.
00:37:34Hire Eater Eater Eater, Oglethorpe.
00:37:37Leave everything to me.
00:37:39Don't worry about a thing.
00:37:45Don't worry about a thing.
00:37:45Hello, hello.
00:37:47Give me the new old lump hawk house.
00:37:51Yeah, the new old.
00:37:54Charlie on the desk.
00:38:04What's a six-letter word meaning, embezzlement?
00:38:07Prison.
00:38:12Oh, I'll bet that's Og.
00:38:14Oh, he's got a beckin' now.
00:38:15She never gambled before she met him.
00:38:18Oh, hello, Og.
00:38:19Hello, dear.
00:38:21Still workin' on your crossword puzzle book?
00:38:24Uh-huh.
00:38:25I'll tell you one on Grandma.
00:38:26I asked him to give me a six-letter word meaning embezzlement,
00:38:29and she said prison.
00:38:31Uh-huh, ha-ha-ha.
00:38:33Isn't that hot, wouldn't?
00:38:36Huh?
00:38:46She's right.
00:38:48What's the matter with you?
00:38:51I've got something to confess.
00:38:54Our engagement is off.
00:38:56Og!
00:38:57What are you saying?
00:38:59Oh, well, it's only off for a while, dear.
00:39:02That is, if you're willing to wait until I get out of prison.
00:39:05Og, don't scare me.
00:39:06Oh, stop fooling.
00:39:08What do you mean?
00:39:10Oh, I don't know.
00:39:11I can't think straight.
00:39:12Your father brought a man into the bank this morning
00:39:14who sold me his old grandmother's paisley shawl
00:39:17with a bare river running through it or something.
00:39:19I don't know what it was.
00:39:21Are you sick?
00:39:22Let me feel your head.
00:39:23Oh, you've got a fever.
00:39:25I don't know what I got, but your father got me
00:39:28to take $500 from the bank funds and invest it in-
00:39:31Og!
00:39:32Shh!
00:39:33It's so loud.
00:39:34I don't want your mother or your grandmother to hear this.
00:39:36And he got me to invest it in telephone and telegraph
00:39:39and electric light company.
00:39:41No, it wasn't a telephone or telegraph.
00:39:43It was a beefsteak mine.
00:39:45A beefsteak mine?
00:39:47Og, have you been drinking?
00:39:49I'm going to tell my mother that my father got you to drink
00:39:52and steal money from the bank.
00:39:58and invest it in a beefsteak mine.
00:40:00Oh, now, Myrtle.
00:40:02It was mighty nice of you to call me, Mr. Souzae.
00:40:05Oh, not at all, not at all.
00:40:06I knew you were a stranger in town.
00:40:07I wanted to make you stay happy.
00:40:09I work for the Chamber of Commerce without, uh,
00:40:11when I'm not on my regular, would you like to weigh yourself?
00:40:14Oh, no, I don't think so.
00:40:15I know the manager in here.
00:40:17He'll let you weigh yourself if you want it for nothing.
00:40:20Um, this, uh, Lumpock, you know, is noted for his beautiful girls.
00:40:24I imagine you've noticed them.
00:40:25Yes, yes, I have.
00:40:27Excuse me.
00:40:27I'm a married man with a grown daughter, 18 years of age.
00:40:29Oh, I'd like to meet her.
00:40:32I'm very fond of children.
00:40:34Girl children, around 18 and 20.
00:40:37I have a young daughter, marriageable age, also a small daughter.
00:40:41Nice wife, and a mother-in-law that loves me like her own son.
00:40:46Would you like to give the town a double O?
00:40:48Well, the little constitutional couldn't possibly hurt.
00:40:51No.
00:40:52Ha!
00:40:53The Black Pussy Cafe and Snack Bar.
00:40:56Hello, fancy.
00:40:56How are you?
00:40:57How would you like to go in and have a little spot?
00:40:59No, no, I, I never drink during business hours, thank you.
00:41:03Just a little spot, and we'll find out how, uh,
00:41:06gum legs came out at Del Mar today.
00:41:08This, uh, this place isn't crowded, is it?
00:41:12No, if it wasn't for me, the place would starve to death.
00:41:15Well, I'll dawdle for about 10 minutes.
00:41:18Okay, we'll dawdle together.
00:41:20Oh, after you.
00:41:25Nice little place here.
00:41:27Listen, listen, listen.
00:41:29Could we, uh, find a secluded spot where we won't be observed?
00:41:32Oh, surely, sit right down there and nobody will see you.
00:41:35We've got a couple of, uh, local beer guzzlers.
00:41:39Could we, uh, pull the shade?
00:41:41You can pull anything you want to hear.
00:41:42It's a regular joint.
00:41:44I know Joe very well.
00:41:45Uh, what's your pleasure?
00:41:47Uh, rye highball.
00:41:48Rye highball.
00:41:51One.
00:41:51Make it light.
00:41:52Light buy.
00:41:54Ah, ah, oh!
00:41:56Hi, Luis Suze.
00:41:57What'll it be?
00:41:57Uh, I want, uh, two highballs.
00:42:00One very light, you can double up on mine.
00:42:03Ah, has, ah, Michael Finman in here today?
00:42:08No, but he will be.
00:42:10That's good.
00:42:12How the gum legs come out the fifth?
00:42:14You ran sixth.
00:42:15Oh, the dog.
00:42:18You ever bet on the racers?
00:42:19No, no, I never wager.
00:42:21You never wager?
00:42:22Well, not a bad idea.
00:42:23It's a good system.
00:42:25I've been on that gum legs once.
00:42:28He won.
00:42:29But the jockey got off the three quarters
00:42:31and had to carry him across the tape on his back.
00:42:35He's a beetle.
00:42:36Jockey was a very insulting fellow.
00:42:39He referred to my proboscis
00:42:41as an asceticious excretions.
00:42:45I had to tweak his nose.
00:42:48I was compelled to...
00:42:51That's fine, thank you.
00:42:55Well, no one's looking.
00:42:58Down the hatch.
00:42:59Yeah.
00:43:37I feel deathly ill.
00:43:41Oh, well...
00:43:42Well, yeah, well...
00:43:43Fill him up again, Joe.
00:43:45No, no, please.
00:43:48I've never had such a feeling all my life.
00:43:50Probably it's something you've eaten.
00:43:53Oh, I haven't eaten anything.
00:43:55Oh, well, there you are.
00:43:56You haven't eaten anything.
00:43:57Come on, let's go over.
00:43:58I'll get you some nice chili con corny.
00:44:00Come on, let's get out of here.
00:44:02Or it may be the altitude.
00:44:04Come on.
00:44:06My, don't worry about a thing.
00:44:08You're all right.
00:44:09Maybe the altitude...
00:44:11This town has an altitude of 500 feet.
00:44:14Population is 4,500.
00:44:17Schools, churches, public library,
00:44:23three blocks of paved streets,
00:44:25two trains a day,
00:44:27not counting the milk train,
00:44:29goes through four o'clock in the morning.
00:44:30We have three drugstores.
00:44:32One actually sells medicine.
00:44:34Stop, I'm dying.
00:44:36Could you direct me to a culvert?
00:44:38Why don't you wait till you get up to the hotel?
00:44:40It's only six blocks.
00:44:41We pass the Spanish-Americo chili parlor on the way up.
00:44:50Maybe I've eaten an oyster in a month
00:44:52that had an R in it.
00:44:54Don't let these people know
00:44:56this very respectable place.
00:44:58That's all right.
00:44:59That's all right.
00:45:00That's all right.
00:45:01Come on, come on.
00:45:02Equilibrium's the thing.
00:45:03If your friend is drunk,
00:45:05don't bring him into this hotel.
00:45:07Why, he's already registered here.
00:45:09Jay Pinkerton Snoopington.
00:45:11Little case of tomean poisoning.
00:45:14Well, something he ate.
00:45:15Get him outside as quickly as possible.
00:45:17He's in room five.
00:45:18Room five.
00:45:19Come on, old boy.
00:45:20Come on.
00:45:22This won't last forever.
00:45:24Come on.
00:45:24Come on, look out.
00:45:25Ted, look out.
00:45:26Ted, look out.
00:45:28That's it.
00:45:29Now, you're all right.
00:45:31You'll be fine, or I'll fix it so you will to him.
00:45:36Due time.
00:45:37I shall make it my business to see
00:45:39that the Lompoc lady's auxiliary will be informed.
00:45:42I thought this was a family hotel.
00:45:44Oh, yes, yes, indeed it is.
00:45:46Mr. Snoopington has a touch of tomean.
00:45:50Hmm.
00:45:51It didn't smell like tomean.
00:45:56Come on.
00:45:57Right, right, right, right, right, right.
00:45:59Come on.
00:46:01Here you are.
00:46:05Okay, okay, okay.
00:46:06What are you trying to do, Phil?
00:46:07This hotel full of delirium treatments?
00:46:09Weave a reputation to uphold.
00:46:11This is the same man.
00:46:12Just fell out the window.
00:46:14Brandomite caught him on the first bounce.
00:46:16Yeah.
00:46:17See that he doesn't bounce again.
00:46:20Come, come, come, come now, Mr. Snoopington.
00:46:22Come.
00:46:23Let's pull ourselves together now.
00:46:24Here we go.
00:46:25Up, up, up, up, up.
00:46:27See that he's...
00:46:27Oh, yes, he's gone.
00:46:30Oh, yes, he's gone.
00:46:31Oh, yes, he...
00:46:31Oh, yes.
00:46:32Oh, yes.
00:46:42When you hear the tone, it will be 22 and one-half minutes till seven.
00:46:47Listen, I'm calling Dr. Stahl, and as a matter of fact, when I hear the tone, it'll
00:46:53be 22 and one-half minutes till six.
00:46:57Give me Dr. Stahl.
00:46:59I'll give you information, please.
00:47:01I don't want information, please, or Professor Quizz, or calling all cars.
00:47:07I want Dr. Stahl.
00:47:09Louder, please.
00:47:10Louder, please.
00:47:12If I spoke any louder, I wouldn't need a telephone.
00:47:15Give me Dr. Stahl.
00:47:45Hello.
00:47:48Just a moment, please.
00:47:50The first thing you've got to do is cut out all health foods for a while.
00:47:54That'll be $10.
00:47:55The nurse will return your clothes with a receipt.
00:48:00Hello.
00:48:02Hi, this is Suze speaking, Doc.
00:48:04How are you?
00:48:05I'm over here at the new old Lumpock house.
00:48:08There's a bank examiner in town, old friend of the family's.
00:48:12He's evidently been on a bender.
00:48:14He's full of nose paint.
00:48:23Hello, Snoopy, old boy.
00:48:25How do you feel?
00:48:26Oh, I feel as though I've been poisoned.
00:48:32You look a picture of hell.
00:48:38Oh.
00:48:44Shame.
00:48:47My poor wife.
00:48:51Little Dorit.
00:48:54I forgot the telephone of last night.
00:48:57Why don't you let me get you something to eat?
00:49:00I'd like some breaded veal cutlet with tomato sauce.
00:49:05So?
00:49:06A chocolate eclair with whipped cream.
00:49:09Poor fellow hasn't had anything to eat.
00:49:12Oh.
00:49:14Yes, that's the doctor.
00:49:19Hello, Doc.
00:49:20How are you?
00:49:22How's business?
00:49:23Oh, fair, fair.
00:49:25I don't suppose we'll ever get another hoot and cough epidemic again.
00:49:28No, I don't suppose we will.
00:49:29Well, this is the eminent, uh, Dr. Stahl, diagnostician or town's leading physician.
00:49:37What's the name?
00:49:40What's the name?
00:49:40Jay Pinkerton Snoopington.
00:49:42Business?
00:49:43Bank examiner.
00:49:45Bank examiner?
00:49:46Yes.
00:49:46Quite a lucrative occupation.
00:49:49Do you mind, uh, showing me your tongue?
00:49:58You must eat more solids, meats and sauces.
00:50:01You need iron, liver and bacon.
00:50:04You lack, uh, vitamins A, B and C. Skip the rest down to X and Y. If, uh, Z is
00:50:10necessary. Why, we'll give you that later.
00:50:12What you need most of all is rest. Rest will do more for you than all the doctors in the
00:50:17world.
00:50:18Well, doctors...
00:50:19No exercise?
00:50:20No.
00:50:23Now, you take two of these, in a glass of castor oil, for two nights running. Then you, uh, skip
00:50:30one night.
00:50:31But I thought you said I wasn't to take any exercise.
00:50:34Well, you take me too literally. Well, I should say yes. You take two, for, uh, two nights consecutively, and
00:50:42then, uh, you, uh, refrain from taking them one night.
00:50:45Yes.
00:50:45Yes. That's absolutely true. And they're perfectly tasteless. Very good with goulash.
00:50:52With a proper rest, I'll get you out of here in three days.
00:50:59Yes, sir. I'll get you out in three days.
00:51:06Three more days and you'll be out of here.
00:51:08Four!
00:51:11Careful waving that cane like that. You might hit something.
00:51:14Yeah, I might hit that globe up there.
00:51:17That'll be just one day before the boys at the back get their bullets.
00:51:21Yes, sir. I'll have you out in three days.
00:51:24Unless, of course, complications set in.
00:51:26Oh, yes.
00:51:27That'll naturally take an extra day.
00:51:29Yes, sure.
00:51:31I'll leave everything to me.
00:51:33I'll do the worrying.
00:51:35Be happy and gay.
00:51:37I'll have the management send you up a radio.
00:51:40Come on, Doc. We better be going.
00:51:45Toodle-oo.
00:51:47Going to have the, uh, missus, uh, bake you a nice coconut custard pie with Savaloy pudding.
00:51:56You have nothing to worry about.
00:51:57Got Snoopingdon down at the new old punk house.
00:52:00He's still in bed.
00:52:02Oh, much obliged.
00:52:03Well, I gotta put on my work clothes now.
00:52:05Okay, go ahead.
00:52:07What do you mean?
00:52:12Oh, yeah.
00:52:14I didn't know. I thought I lost him.
00:52:22How'd it do, Mr. Keller?
00:52:27Mr. Suze, we appreciate the capture you made the other day
00:52:31and the manhandling you gave those criminals.
00:52:34Oh, nothing at all. Nothing, really.
00:52:36They were a couple of tough fellows.
00:52:38Why don't they pull the knife on me?
00:52:40Pull the knife, but it was really, really anuscious.
00:52:43It was, it was about that.
00:52:47It was about that long. It was really anuscious guy.
00:52:50Doesn't anyone ever pull a short knife on you, Mr. Suze?
00:52:54A little one? About that long.
00:52:57Oh, yes, yes, yes.
00:52:59Uh, Major Moe one time, a little colored midget,
00:53:03pulled one on me. It was just about that long.
00:53:05It wasn't really a knife. It was a razor.
00:53:07We are grateful to you for retrieving the bank's funds.
00:53:10Oh, I'll have some line of duty.
00:53:12And we feel we've shown our gratitude
00:53:14by giving you a position as bank's officer.
00:53:17But when you caution Mrs. Muckles' little son
00:53:20about carrying a toy pistol into the bank,
00:53:22that's going too far.
00:53:24I cannot impress upon you too firmly.
00:53:27The Skinner Bank is a dignified institution.
00:53:30Yeah, that's the way I always figured it, yes.
00:53:33I guess you figured it the same way,
00:53:35working here the same as I do.
00:53:37Furthermore, I've been informed that you are a frequenter
00:53:40of a cafe known as the Black Pussy.
00:53:43Oh, yes, say, that reminds me.
00:53:46One of the customers gave it to me last night,
00:53:48smoking at your leisure.
00:53:50By the way, accept this silver-plated napkin ring
00:53:55with my compliments I wanted over the bowling alley last night.
00:53:59There you are.
00:54:00Bye.
00:54:00You're welcome.
00:54:02Why, Mr. Snoopington.
00:54:07I beg your pardon.
00:54:10It's an unexpected pleasure to see you in Lompoc.
00:54:13Well, it's no pleasure for me, Mr. Skinner.
00:54:15I'm a very sick man.
00:54:17But I'm also a man for duty.
00:54:20If you don't mind, I'd like to look over your books.
00:54:27Of course, we don't mind.
00:54:29This bank is always ready for an audit.
00:54:31Yes, siree.
00:54:32Mr. Suze, our special officer,
00:54:34will give you every assistance you wish.
00:54:37Come in.
00:54:38Not feeling well, Mr. Snoopington?
00:54:40No.
00:54:41No, I'm not feeling very fit.
00:54:42Well, I'll leave you to Mr. Suze.
00:54:45And rest assured, you're in proper hands.
00:54:47And rest assured, you're in proper hands.
00:54:51I'll leave you to Mr. Suze.
00:54:52And rest assured, you're in proper hands.
00:54:54Are you, um...
00:54:58Are you still, uh,
00:54:59suffering from that slight nausea you had yesterday?
00:55:02Yes, I haven't quite gotten over it yet.
00:55:04Well, listen, I don't want to be a cretin.
00:55:07But in your weakened condition,
00:55:10you're subject to all sorts of maladies.
00:55:13Now, I want to tell you something very confidentially.
00:55:17Yes.
00:55:18I know positively
00:55:19that our good friend, Dr. Stahl,
00:55:22has treated this boy
00:55:24who thumbs the pages of these books
00:55:27for Malta fever,
00:55:30beriberi,
00:55:31and that dreaded of all diseases,
00:55:34mogo on the go-go-go.
00:55:36Mr. Suze,
00:55:38if duty called,
00:55:39I would go into the Titsi-fly country of Africa
00:55:41and brave sleeping sickness
00:55:44if there were books to be examined.
00:55:52This way?
00:55:53Uh, yeah.
00:55:53Say, would you like to examine the books
00:55:55of the Black Pussy Café?
00:56:03Blocked forward the leg view section.
00:56:04What you need to get is a description of that place.
00:56:06of the men.
00:56:14Arnd, what's the matter?
00:56:15Exactly what I suspected.
00:56:18The old mogo on the go-go-go.
00:56:20Arnd!
00:56:22Whiskey!
00:56:23Whiskey?
00:56:23Look out.
00:56:24I'll see you, my friend.
00:56:25Whiskey.
00:56:25What's the matter, fella?
00:56:26Speak to me!
00:56:27What happened there?
00:56:28Oh, hey, I'm happy to lift up the mug.
00:56:31Just wet his lips with it.
00:56:33Okay, here you are.
00:56:49No!
00:56:51Oh, I got a cramp system.
00:56:57Unfortunately, you must have had your hand in there.
00:57:01That'll interfere with your writing, won't it?
00:57:03It won't interfere with my writing. Fortunately, I'm left-handed.
00:57:07Oh, that's unfortunate.
00:57:09Oh, yeah.
00:57:10Get him a glass of water, will you, Scotty?
00:57:12Do better.
00:57:25Susie.
00:57:27Did I see that bank examiner here?
00:57:31Oh, I don't imagine so.
00:57:33With my introspective eye as a detective,
00:57:37I would naturally have seen him.
00:57:43Ah, just as I thought.
00:57:46Recurring fever.
00:57:48I'm sorry to appear overzealous, but these books have got to be examined.
00:57:55Let me help you, Mr. Snoopington.
00:57:57Oh, thank you.
00:57:59Here you are, sir.
00:58:01Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
00:58:02It's all right. I can't see a thing without my glasses.
00:58:06Here you are, sir.
00:58:09I'll be right over here if you need me, sir.
00:58:11All right.
00:58:11Thank you, sir.
00:58:33If I can be a...
00:58:36Oh, sorry and I try to be so helpful.
00:58:39Well, I hope that won't interfere with your auditing the books.
00:58:47It certainly will not.
00:58:50Oh, that's good, that's good.
00:59:06It couldn't be possible that Mr. Suzet is trying to keep me from examining the books.
00:59:39There, you see?
00:59:41Mr. Suzet, I have done Mr. Ogilvy a great wrong, and I am here to rectify that wrong.
00:59:46I was hoodwinked into believing those bonds were 100%.
00:59:49Now, I've never been guilty of a dishonest act in my life,
00:59:52so I'll take those bonds off his hands if I have to pay for them with my own blood.
00:59:56Transfusion?
00:59:57Anything.
00:59:58There you are.
01:00:00The man is willing to buy the bonds back with his own blood.
01:00:04I don't want blood. I want money. Let him give me back the 500.
01:00:08The boy needs money. He doesn't want blood. He's got high blood pressure already.
01:00:14Give him what he paid for the bonds and cash.
01:00:16I'm the saddest man in the world.
01:00:18You may be the second saddest, but he's the saddest.
01:00:21Well, I'm prepared to pay you $350 cash, and I'll pay you the rest in weekly installments of $25 per
01:00:27week.
01:00:27I'll even give you my favorite aunt's wedding ring as security for the balance.
01:00:30Oh.
01:00:31I want to prove to you that I'm honest in the worst way.
01:00:35Oh, worst way.
01:00:42Thanks.
01:00:43I was a fool to listen to Mr. Suze in the first place, and in the second place, too.
01:00:47Paper, mister?
01:00:48How dare Gumlake's come out in the fourth day, you know?
01:00:51I don't know.
01:00:52Let me see your paper.
01:00:58Bonanza.
01:00:59Beefsteak wine.
01:01:02Graphic dangle.
01:01:08Oh!
01:01:09What are you doing?
01:01:10Just as I was getting some of my money back.
01:01:12You read this paper.
01:01:14You're a millionaire.
01:01:15Go away, Mr. Suze.
01:01:16Look at that window.
01:01:18Read that paper.
01:01:24Oh!
01:01:25Now I can put the money back without waiting for my bonus.
01:01:27Mr. Snooping is no longer a nightmare.
01:01:29Bring him in here.
01:01:30I'll kill him.
01:01:30Ah, calm yourself, Poggle.
01:01:32Be my boy.
01:01:33Calm yourself.
01:01:34Golly.
01:01:35Oh, Mr. Suze.
01:01:36Shut it up.
01:01:37Oh, Mr. Suze, I don't need all this money.
01:01:39I don't deserve it.
01:01:40Well, you engineered the whole thing.
01:01:42You're a financial wizard.
01:01:44I'm going to split with you.
01:01:45I'll give you half of them.
01:01:46Oh, thank you, Mark.
01:01:47I'll wait up for you.
01:01:48Oh, thank you, Mark.
01:01:48Oh, thank you, Mark.
01:01:49Anything I can do for you?
01:01:52You sure can, Robert.
01:01:54Turn around.
01:01:54Yeah.
01:01:55Now, stop walking towards the case.
01:01:56Oh, don't.
01:01:57Keep quiet.
01:01:58Chickles.
01:02:02You remember me, don't you?
01:02:04Uh, you remember the gentleman, uh...
01:02:07Gentleman?
01:02:08Og?
01:02:09Yes, sir.
01:02:09That's the...
01:02:10That's the man that held me up the last time.
01:02:12Uh, mind your, uh, mind your language, uh, Og.
01:02:15Here.
01:02:16It's for you to be the fall guy.
01:02:17But fill that up.
01:02:19Uh, do what the gentleman tells you to, Og.
01:02:21Quickly.
01:02:22Yes, sir.
01:02:23Don't, oh, don't.
01:02:24Shut up.
01:02:29This is my beef steaks, dog.
01:02:30Fill that up.
01:02:31Uh, do what the gentleman tells you to, Og.
01:02:33Oh.
01:02:37Thanks.
01:02:39Do you mind accompanying me to the door?
01:02:41Uh, yeah!
01:02:41Uh, uh, uh.
01:02:44Uh...
01:02:44How'd it do, Mrs. Chisselbaugh?
01:02:46Uh, huh?
01:02:47Keep your foot off that alarm wall.
01:02:48I'll come back and plug you.
01:02:49You still there?
01:02:50Oh.
01:02:51Hello, Mr. Sussain.
01:02:52Hello.
01:02:52Want to make any more movies?
01:02:53Sussain, huh?
01:02:54Get in that car and start driving.
01:02:55We're going for a ride.
01:02:56Reach for the sky and back up there.
01:03:04Come on, come on.
01:03:05You're arousing the whole thing.
01:03:06You have the alarm on.
01:03:08Oh!
01:03:08What's the matter?
01:03:09Want to see some of the places of interest in town?
01:03:12No.
01:03:13Keep driving.
01:03:18Ah, there's the Black Pussy Cafe.
01:03:21Be careful!
01:03:26Ah!
01:03:27Ah!
01:03:28We've been robbed!
01:03:30Johnson, you get on that phone and get the police.
01:03:31There's been a robbery here.
01:03:32Hurry up!
01:03:33Help!
01:03:34Help!
01:03:34Police!
01:03:36Hold up!
01:03:37He took Mr. Sussain.
01:03:38He certainly did.
01:03:39Right for under my contract.
01:03:40I just called the police.
01:03:43Follow that brake car.
01:03:45Come on!
01:03:45Come on!
01:03:46Hold up!
01:03:47Bank robbers up that way.
01:03:52Don't let that car out of your sight.
01:03:54Don't let me hurry.
01:03:55That police car...
01:04:07It's a car on fire!
01:04:07These are cutrimony trees.
01:04:09Step on that gas.
01:04:10Keep moving.
01:04:10That's a step right against it.
01:04:12Mr. Sussain's liable to get hurt.
01:04:14I mean with 10,000 in the briefcase form.
01:04:15For Sussain?
01:04:16What for?
01:04:17For a story he told me while he was directing.
01:04:18I sent in in with the Day's report and the boss went nuts about it.
01:04:21He wants it in Sussain too.
01:04:25There goes the helmet.
01:04:44Come back here, you.
01:05:06Hey, Sporka, Delvin, I'm sorry.
01:05:09Never mind about those trees.
01:05:10Keep stepping on the gas.
01:05:11You know who's in that car with Susay?
01:05:13No, who?
01:05:14Repulsor Brogan.
01:05:15Say, there's a $5,000 debtor a live reward on him.
01:05:29Let's go.
01:06:13Stay away.
01:06:14Be careful, driver.
01:06:17Hey, hey.
01:06:20Magic carpet.
01:06:27Let's go.
01:06:27Wipe off that windshield, you.
01:06:29Yeah.
01:06:31You watch it off.
01:06:32I'm driving.
01:06:43Let's go.
01:06:43Lake Shosho Bocomo is right over the top of this mountain.
01:06:46Well, get out and push.
01:06:48What do you think this is?
01:06:49A kiddie car?
01:06:51Can't push a hulking truck like this.
01:06:54Start pushing.
01:07:20There seems to be a great deal of traffic here for Cutler Road, I think.
01:07:23Tuck, keep going.
01:07:24Get down.
01:07:36Hiya, Tuck.
01:07:37Look out.
01:07:43The resale value of this car is going to be nil after you get over this trip.
01:07:50You're going too fast.
01:07:52Slow down.
01:07:56Foot brake's gone.
01:07:58Where's your emergency?
01:08:02Now, here it is.
01:08:03It won't do you any good in the back seat.
01:08:09Give me that wheel.
01:08:11Hey, grab it.
01:08:12Put it on there.
01:08:13We're going to have an accident if you want to careful.
01:08:16You're going to have a real accident in a minute.
01:08:30The wheel's coming off.
01:08:33That's what I thought.
01:08:35It's going to be very dangerous.
01:08:39I'm going to jump.
01:08:41Uh-huh.
01:08:50I'm going to have to take the boat from here on anyway.
01:09:01Looking for someone?
01:09:14You better stop by the station and see about that $5,000 reward, Mr. Suze.
01:09:18This sure is your lucky day, Mr. Suze.
01:09:21Here's a check for $10,000 from the televis company for that story you told us on location,
01:09:24as well as a contract for you to bring it to the screen.
01:09:26Looks like it's all here, Mr. Skinner, including the beefsteak mine.
01:09:30I don't know whether it is or not, but allow me to give you another hearty hand clasp.
01:09:43Mr. Suze, has Mr. Suze had his cafe rum, a la papa?
01:09:48Yes, ma'am.
01:09:50Uh, thank you, dear.
01:09:51I've had a double noggin.
01:09:52What time is it, Daddykins?
01:09:54Uh, it's one minute till nine.
01:09:58I get down to the, uh, the, um, the office and just...
01:10:02Goodbye, Daddy, dear.
01:10:03Oh, goodbye, dear.
01:10:04Give me a kiss.
01:10:06I'll give you two of them.
01:10:07Goodbye, Pated Nostar.
01:10:10Goodbye, dear.
01:10:11Take care of yourself.
01:10:12I shall, dear.
01:10:14Goodbye, my darling.
01:10:16Hurry home tonight if you feel like it.
01:10:17I'll be waiting up for you as usual.
01:10:19Oh, thank you, dear.
01:10:21I'll be home early.
01:10:27Um.
01:10:36Hey, that doesn't look bad, does it?
01:10:38I think so.
01:10:40This is the mall appropriate.
01:10:42Yeah, that's nice and cool, though.
01:10:44Thanks.
01:11:03What a changed man.
01:11:06You deserve a lot of credit, Egerton.
01:11:08Well, it hasn't been easy.
01:11:26That train! Up!
01:11:42The End
01:11:44The End
01:11:46The End
01:11:52The End
01:11:55The End
01:11:59The End
01:12:00The End
01:12:01The End
01:12:01The End
01:12:01The End
01:12:02The End
Comments