- 7 minutes ago
Ultimate Boys Trip Season 1 Episode 5
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00I mean, I know who I am, and that's that, period.
00:03Did you promise that you would have my side?
00:04It started on the front of the boat.
00:05Did you say anything when you got snarky with me?
00:07Absolutely fucking not.
00:08No, you didn't.
00:09When I bring it up on the back of the boat,
00:10trying to physically fight me, did you say anything?
00:13No, you did not.
00:14No, you did not.
00:14You might think you're the star of the show.
00:16You might think it's your show.
00:17For some fucking reason, you think it's your show.
00:19It's my spin-off.
00:20I'm ready to hit back.
00:22Hey, what's going on here?
00:24Llevatelos.
00:25Llevatelos.
00:26Llevatelos.
00:26Patrick fucking Rosa, your twink ass is under arrest.
00:30You have the right to remain silent.
00:32Boomer, are you fucking crazy?
00:33They're fucking arresting Patrick fucking Rosa.
00:36Patrick, I'm calling Max.
00:37We'll fucking get you out.
00:38Get away from my vehicle.
00:39I've seen you in elevators before, Joey.
00:41I know what you do.
00:52Vacation.
00:55Vacation.
01:25So we're here at the police station.
01:27Unfortunately, I have a conscience and couldn't just let Patrick fucking Rosa rot in jail.
01:31So I came to bail him out.
01:33However, we were at the sauna, so I don't have my fucking wallet.
01:41Sleepy.
01:42After my beautiful date with Cyber, I look at my phone.
01:46I've got like 30 missed phone calls from Joey.
01:51Now I have to bail Patrick out of jail?
01:56I'm not happy.
01:59All right, $550 fine.
02:02Sign here and here.
02:04$550?
02:05What the fuck did you do?
02:06I don't make the rules.
02:08That is the fine.
02:09Goodness.
02:14You Max?
02:15Yeah.
02:15You should treat Patrick better.
02:22Woo!
02:23When I get that ass back to the gathering, Patrick is in so much fucking trouble.
02:28Oh, God, this shit is so messy.
02:32This is not good.
02:35Yeah, you're not very good either.
02:38But you've been in on everything.
02:39You knew that Drake was coming.
02:40You've been kiki-ing in his room.
02:41You let the man call me fucking fat on the boat.
02:43Everybody's going to try to say that I'm the one who started the shit on the back of the boat.
02:46Who started it on the front of the boat?
02:47Well, I mean, Drake wasn't completely to blame for that, so, okay.
02:52Are you friends with Drake?
02:53Yes, yes, I am.
02:54I think he is a nice young man, actually.
02:57Perfect.
02:57Then you're about to get everything you fucking wanted me here for.
03:01To be honest with you, I'm fucking done with Max, too.
03:04The man's been so far up Drake's ass, only his fucking ankle's hanging out.
03:07Okay, to be fair, Joey.
03:09I'm done with B characters tonight.
03:12Okay, whatever.
03:13I'm not doing it.
03:14He calls Cyber a B character.
03:17This shit is funny, but still, you call Cyber a B character?
03:21Oh, my God.
03:22All right, girl.
03:22Bye, baby.
03:23See you on my phone, girl.
03:25Talk to me.
03:26Bye.
03:28Looks like he made some friends.
03:30Do you really think this is a fucking joke?
03:33Patrick really needs to wipe this smirk off his fucking face because I'm going to slap it off for him
03:37in a second.
03:38You represent me.
03:40You embarrass me.
03:42I had to pay this bitch $550 to get your crazy ass out of here.
03:47And you're going to sit down in this chair beside me and act like everything's okay.
03:50Oh, my God.
03:50I took some cool pictures.
03:52No, bitch.
03:53No.
03:54Look, if you want to go be a drunk mess all the time, all the time, then go do it.
04:00I'm done.
04:01How fucking dare you?
04:03This is literally all Boomer's fault.
04:05I don't understand.
04:07Why can't anybody blame themselves for the shit that they fucking do?
04:12I know you like following Joey around, doing whatever Joey does, but that ends.
04:17That has to stop.
04:18What do you mean?
04:18I literally know Joey longer than any of you guys.
04:21I literally have been best friends with him.
04:24I pay you.
04:25You might pay me, but that doesn't mean that you get to tell me what to do.
04:28No, that's exactly what it means.
04:31No, it doesn't.
04:32Baby, there's a big difference between having somebody at work listen to what you say because
04:36you pay them and having somebody in their personal life.
04:38He's not on the fucking clock.
04:39You don't own that boy.
04:40Okay.
04:40Nobody was talking to you.
04:42Oh, but I'm listening.
04:43I'm within earshot, girl.
04:44So you can just stand there and deal with your shame while I talk to the person that I pay.
04:49I'll pay him next, don't worry.
04:50Why are you still talking?
04:51Because Patrick's the only one fucking defending me.
04:53You are, like, so fucking close from me firing you.
04:58Hey, Patrick, you gonna come work for me?
05:01If I get treated better, well, you sure the fuck will.
05:04After this fight with Boomer, I'm really starting to think that Patrick fucking Rose was right.
05:09And that's an odd thing to say, but I don't think this was ever really about Drake.
05:15All right, so that's what you want to do.
05:16Do you want to go be his servant?
05:17You want to go work for him?
05:18You know what?
05:18I quit.
05:19Oh, no.
05:20I quit.
05:20Okay.
05:21I'm done.
05:21Okay, be done.
05:22Patrick is gonna go work for Joey.
05:25Doing what?
05:27Drink?
05:28Y'all gonna drink.
05:29He's gonna get paid to fucking drink all the time, I guess.
05:32I don't know.
05:33This is so comical to me.
05:35You know what I want you to do?
05:36Since he's working for you now.
05:37What do you want me to do, Max?
05:38I need you to run me my $550.
05:40You want $550?
05:41Yes.
05:41I'll give you $550, babe.
05:43Have fun.
05:43I'm leaving.
05:45I'm out.
05:45Bye.
05:46Congratulations.
05:47Bye.
05:47Bye.
05:48Don't forget your mic.
05:49Okay, Patrick motherfucking Rosa.
05:52Do what you want to do.
05:53I'm done.
05:54I don't need the stress.
05:59Do I get dental?
06:01Baby, I don't even get dental.
06:02Do you see these teeth?
06:03They look good.
06:04Come on.
06:05No, they don't.
06:14Come follow me.
06:16It's yours truly, Patrick motherfucking Rosa.
06:19Welcome to my sweet bitches.
06:21Come in.
06:22Don't be shy.
06:23So I just got this new job with Joey since Max is an asshole.
06:29Now that I'm going to be working with Joey, it's going to be having to be remote.
06:32So, I mean, that's it.
06:35I will be, since Max is a fucking dickhead, I will be taking this just so it gets charged
06:42to his room.
06:43So, I don't care how it fits.
06:47I hope that motherfucker gets what he deserves.
06:57Hi.
06:58How are you?
07:01So, um, I was discovered on Instagram, and to make a long story short, they reached out.
07:08I got into partying.
07:10I became Long Island's It Girl.
07:13So, do you guys, like, also film porn?
07:18Um.
07:18No, no, no, Patrick.
07:20No, no, no.
07:20No, no, no.
07:21No, no, no.
07:23No, no, no.
07:24Why?
07:25I lost my job.
07:27I lost my job.
07:29I lost my job.
07:31I lost my job.
07:35Yes, I lost and quit my job.
07:41Period.
07:42Oh, my God.
07:43I lost my job.
07:45I lost my job.
07:50I lost my job.
07:53Patrick, this has been a lot of fun.
07:55Thanks for showing us around your room.
07:56Thank you for coming.
07:58If you need anything, I mean, literally anything.
08:03Talking about, like, spinoffs, maybe some, like, you know.
08:06Yeah, you know what?
08:07We could, uh, email me or, like, DM me or something.
08:10Yeah.
08:10We're out.
08:10We can clear up.
08:11We'll do.
08:12Okay?
08:12We'll do.
08:12Okay, cool.
08:13Thanks.
08:14Cool.
08:15Okay, great.
08:16Okay, guys.
08:17Come on, guys.
08:18We're done.
08:19Okay, Patrick.
08:20Bye, Patrick.
08:21We're done.
08:21Au revoir.
08:22Bye.
08:23Au revoir.
08:24Au revoir.
08:25Bye, friend.
08:26Bye, baby.
08:27Bye.
08:29All right, then.
08:31Let's talk about the parking lot.
08:33The next morning, after the fight with Joey, Sassy asked me to meet, and I am not feeling good about
08:38this.
08:41The debacle.
08:42She would have every right to be livid with me.
08:45I know that's not you.
08:46I've never seen you that angry, and I don't ever want to see you that angry again, and I'm so
08:50sorry.
08:50I apologize to you, and I apologize to myself, because I was pushed beyond.
08:55Yes.
08:56And I snapped.
08:57You can man me all you fucking want to, you little fucking twinkie.
09:01Acting like you're going to talk down to me?
09:03Baby, I got school on you.
09:05Years of knowledge, and you should take a book out of my library, okay?
09:10Don't come for me.
09:11I did not sin for your faggoty ass.
09:14But the good thing is that they're still alive.
09:16They're still breathing.
09:17So, you know what I mean?
09:19Yeah.
09:19A bit there, I thought they were.
09:21Yeah, that's very unlike me.
09:23Joey does what he does, and I egg him on, and then I think this is going to make good
09:26TV,
09:27and then I take it too far.
09:28Yeah.
09:28We build this show from nothing, mama.
09:31We were in the dead of winter in New York City.
09:34I didn't know what or when or how or who was up or down or top or bottoming.
09:38We figured it out, and I thought we were going to be able to continue to create something,
09:42and I feel like it might be time to let it all go.
09:47Maybe we just need to recast everyone, move forward in a different way.
09:51Well, I think that that's the best thing that I've heard out of your mouth, quite honestly.
09:56And just a little word of advice from me to you.
10:00I don't travel with friends.
10:03Sassy is giving me some good advice.
10:05The next trip, I'm not inviting anyone.
10:08By the way, I spoke to Bonnie.
10:11Everyone is coming, so the guest list is completely full.
10:14Okay.
10:15I rented this pirate ship.
10:17I'm going to turn it around.
10:18I'm going to produce the most amazing event for hotel gathering.
10:21I'm ready.
10:22Just please confirm with me that this is luxury.
10:26It's all that.
10:26This is my brand.
10:27It's first class.
10:28There's still time for me to fix this.
10:30If everything goes well with this party off-site,
10:33the hotel gathering will be so happy with me.
10:37Sure.
10:38I'm trusting you, Boomer.
10:40You can trust me.
10:41Okay.
10:42Don't disappoint me, please.
10:43We got this.
10:44All right.
10:53Listen, I don't fucking like Drake, but he's here to be a tool.
10:57And if they're going to use him as a tool, I'm going to do the same.
11:00So I invited him up to my room to have a little chat.
11:03So I have a proposition.
11:08I don't really want to hear it, Joey.
11:10What game is he playing?
11:11How are you going to come to me for help after all the things you put me through?
11:15Do you know how twisted that is?
11:17I don't like you, bro.
11:19I get that, but here's the deal.
11:21We have a common enemy.
11:23Boomer.
11:25You already know.
11:27Yeah, I know.
11:28So, as you can tell, the fourth person usually tends to be brought on to stir shit up.
11:34Who always gets the fourth person kicked off?
11:37Boomer.
11:39Boomer has always kind of attempted to orchestrate this show to where he always looks like the good guy.
11:46He doesn't want to fight with people and make himself look bad.
11:49He brings somebody on so I can fight with them.
11:51What are you proposing?
11:53Well, my proposal, hit him where it hurts.
11:56He's here to DJ.
11:57He's here for residency.
11:58He's got a final party.
11:59Mainly the people here at the gathering that are going to be going.
12:02Go around and tell him all not to go.
12:04Tell him it's canceled.
12:05Ruin his party.
12:06Yeah.
12:06Not a party if nobody's there.
12:08Right?
12:09It's not a bad idea.
12:10I know it's not a bad idea.
12:11That's why it came to you.
12:12I think Boomer deserves it.
12:14Fuck yeah, he fucking deserves it.
12:15As a good fuck you to Boomer, me and Drake are going to go around and on everybody's whiteboard outside
12:20of their room,
12:21we're going to let him know that that party's canceled and we'll see how the party turns out.
12:24So it's either you're going to get fired at the end of the show, I'm going to get fired at
12:28the end of the show.
12:28We're both going to get made to look bad regardless.
12:31So how about we get him fired from the fucking show?
12:33I'm down.
12:34How are you going to have a TV show that celebrates your residency when nobody fucking shows up for your
12:37residency?
12:37Nah, exactly.
12:39Come, Drake.
12:40Come over to the dark side.
12:43So are you a sociopath or?
12:45I'm the reality villain.
12:48You ready?
12:48Let's do it when we're down.
12:50Let's go.
12:50Let's do it.
12:53Still hate you though.
12:54That's fine.
13:15Boomers pirate party?
13:17It's canceled.
13:19It's not happening.
13:20Nobody's coming.
13:22It's done.
13:23Dead in the water.
13:24You know, Boomer's party?
13:25Yeah.
13:25The pirate one?
13:26Yeah.
13:26It's canceled.
13:28No, I can't do it.
13:29Yeah.
13:30This party's going to be a flop.
13:42I really did need this.
13:45This has been a crazy past few days.
13:48I mean, I still can't fucking believe that Patrick quit.
13:54It's crazy.
13:55So here I am with Cyber and I have to admit that I am a little troubled by the whole
14:02Patrick
14:02situation.
14:03I mean, he's been my secretary for years.
14:06I mean, he's been in my home.
14:08He's been in my workspace.
14:09He's been, you know, a big part of what I do for the past few years.
14:13Patrick has been with me for several years in the house of Connor and it hurts.
14:18So how do you think this is going to look like when you get home?
14:20I don't know.
14:21I think I'm in a state right now where a lot of things are going to be changing for me.
14:26Change can be good.
14:27If you're feeling comfortable, you're complacent.
14:29If you're uncomfortable, you're growing.
14:32Okay.
14:32You better come up with this philosophy.
14:35I picked up a few things.
14:37I see.
14:37I see.
14:38This trip has kind of been a disaster, but Cyber has been a brighter side to it all.
14:45You know, I'm really starting to fall for you.
14:47You're dangerous.
14:48I'm not dangerous.
14:49I'm good.
14:50You are dangerous.
14:52You don't have to be scared to fall for me.
14:54Oh, yeah?
14:55No.
14:56Why don't we go take a stroll in the water?
14:59I want to talk to you about some more things.
15:02I mean, yeah, I can do it.
15:03It's hot as hell.
15:04It is hot.
15:04As long as I can just put my feet in, right?
15:05I don't want to.
15:06Yeah, I'm wearing pants, so just the feet.
15:08Okay.
15:08All right.
15:09All right.
15:09Here I come.
15:10Cyber decides that he wants to go and walk in the water, so we go down and walk in the
15:16water.
15:17Oh, this feels good.
15:19I'm wearing pants.
15:20Okay.
15:21I'm sorry.
15:22You're back here?
15:23Yeah.
15:23This is perfect.
15:24Cool.
15:24Yeah.
15:24I wanted to bring you down here because I want to talk to you about something.
15:30You are kind of my ideal man.
15:32I think you're perfect.
15:36I know you've had history.
15:38I've had history.
15:39But I still think that we could be great together for a lot of reasons.
15:43We both work in porn, though.
15:44I think that makes it easier for both of us.
15:46We have somewhat of a foundation built already, which is important to me.
15:50You know I'm loyal.
15:51So I would like to start, while I still have, a good amount of years left to build something
15:55that's truly meaningful, which is why I think we'd be great together.
16:00And I wanted to ask you something.
16:06Max, will you marry me?
16:10It's...
16:11I don't know what to say.
16:21I don't know what to say right now.
16:23Why is he...
16:24I don't know what to say right now.
16:26What do you mean why?
16:27I just gave you a bunch of reasons.
16:28Watch your age.
16:29Okay.
16:32I am...
16:34Worn and bitter and...
16:39Really?
16:39But I'm warm, so that's perfect.
16:41And I know you may be older, but you said it yourself.
16:44I'm pretty experienced.
16:46I've been around.
16:47I have years on me, for sure.
16:50I've been married more than you have.
16:54That's a good point.
16:55Yeah.
16:56What the fuck is happening right now?
17:00I'm going to say, this is like crazy.
17:01We don't even...
17:02You didn't have a ring.
17:03You have a ring.
17:04Not a normal ring, but I do have...
17:09This for you, if you'll take it.
17:12I know it's not normal and traditional,
17:15but this isn't a normal relationship either.
17:17So I think it's fitting, if anything.
17:27I don't know what to say to you right now.
17:31This is a lot.
17:37I'm not saying no.
17:40I don't really know what I'm saying.
17:42I don't know how I feel.
17:43I really don't know if I'm ready for all of this.
17:47At this point, I don't know what to think.
17:50I know you want to be with me.
17:51I know that we're good together.
17:54Perfect, even.
17:58I...
17:59I got to think about it.
18:00All right?
18:01I got to think about it.
18:02I'm going to go.
18:03Max.
18:04I'm going to go.
18:05Are you leaving right now?
18:06Max, where are you going?
18:08We're going to pull a classic Mastacona
18:10and I'm going to run.
18:12I'm stepping into the paradise
18:14and you must escape
18:15You make up,
18:17you open and leave and let the way
18:20And I can't find the light
18:22or have a tension
18:23And I'll fall into the ocean
18:25with you
18:29I'm stepping into the paradise
18:31Find the light or have a tension
18:34I'm going to drive the ocean
18:38No, everything is going off the rails right now.
18:41No, this is not what I expected at all.
18:44No, we literally canceled Boomer's actual party.
18:47We went around, told everyone it was off
18:50and now no one's going to show up.
18:51But look, listen, listen, okay?
18:53If I can pay for your flight to Miami,
18:55would you pull up?
18:57Because I need your help right now.
18:59So, as Joey and I are uninviting people,
19:02I got some people that I want to invite
19:04to this pirate ship party tonight.
19:06Yeah.
19:07Yeah, if they want a reality villain,
19:09I'm going to give them a reality villain.
19:10I'm going to give them exactly what they want.
19:12I'll show them a reality.
19:13Maybe I'm in my villain era.
19:15Yeah, type shit.
19:17Bet.
19:17Bet.
19:18All right.
19:19I'm going to see you.
19:19I'm going to see you.
19:27Next time on Ultimate Boy's Trip.
19:30Hey, what's up?
19:32Hi.
19:32I'm glad you came.
19:33I think it's time that I drop a cannonball on this party.
19:36No, no, you need to keep talking.
19:38You need to keep talking.
19:38You have what to say.
19:39Do not touch me.
19:39Oh, I've got a surprise for all of these guys.
19:43All of them.
19:51Oh, daddy.
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