- 15 hours ago
Chasing the Girl He Hid Fu 37 Ep SM
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Short filmTranscript
00:00The summer I turned 18, Asher made me cross a line I could never take back.
00:04I bit my lip through the ache, glowing secretly all night,
00:07convinced that six long years of loving him from a distance had finally, finally paid off.
00:12Then the next morning, I heard his friend laughing outside the classroom door.
00:16Okay, okay. Got the nerd to give it up, huh?
00:20My face burned, and I turned to slip away before anyone saw me.
00:23I'm trying to get with Chloe, but she'd think I was too inexperienced.
00:27So I'll use Stella to get some practice in first.
00:29I didn't say a single word.
00:31I just quietly changed my college application from NYU to a school thousand miles away in California.
00:37His words hit me like a thunderclap out of a cloudless summer sky.
00:40No warning at all. My mind went completely blank.
00:43It was a scorching July afternoon, but I felt like ice was spreading through every inch of my body.
00:49The guys inside kept talking, pausing only for a half second before someone else piped up.
00:55Classic Ashen, even Stella was just a warm-up for him.
00:57Everyone knows how hard it is to get into her pants.
01:03So what does that make her? Like, a practice dully?
01:07Asher just laughed it off.
01:10Relax. She got something out of it, too.
01:13I mean, Stella's cute and all, but compared to Chloe, yeah, no contest.
01:16Right.
01:18Asher threw a textbook at him to shut him up.
01:21It was just a vibe, okay? The moment happened, and honestly, she seemed like she was enjoying herself.
01:27The guys all exchanged knowing looks and started roasting him.
01:30Who knew the Bookberg was that freaky under all those cardigans?
01:34Bro, Asher's just built different. Why leave free food on the table, right?
01:38She's been chasing him for years. Technically, she got what she wanted.
01:42The laughter inside the room got noticeably louder.
01:45I pressed my teeth into my lower lips so hard I tasted copper.
01:48Both hands balled into white-knuckled fists.
01:51It took every single ounce of willpower I had to stay upright,
01:54to not just crumple right there in the doorway.
01:56Footsteps echoed down the hall toward me.
01:58I snapped back to reality and bolted, shoving my way blindly through the corridor.
02:03In my panic, I threw myself into the nearest bathroom stall and locked the door behind me.
02:11The tears came like a dam breaking, grief and humiliation pouring out all at once.
02:17Asher's words played on a loop inside my head.
02:19Every single syllable.
02:21They shredded what little self-worth I had left.
02:23If I hadn't heard it with my own ears, I never could have believed that the guy talking in there
02:28was the same one who had held me like I was something precious just last night.
02:32Turns out, you don't actually need to love someone to do that with them.
02:35Turns out, you can look a girl dead in the eyes, make her feel everything,
02:39and still be lying through every single second of it.
02:42The thing I thought was my happily ever after was just a punchline someone else got to laugh at.
02:48The more I cried, the worse it got.
02:50I couldn't make a sound.
02:51My whole body was shaking so hard I could barely breathe.
02:55A long time passed.
02:56My phone buzzed.
02:57It was Asher.
02:58Just grab an Uber back.
03:00My cruise got a party tonight.
03:01It'd be awkward to bring you.
03:03I did not cry.
03:04He sent a follow-up.
03:05Also, pick up a morning after pill yourself.
03:08I'm busy today.
03:09Don't forget to take it.
03:10Good girl.
03:10I stared at those two texts for a very, very long time without breathing.
03:15From dusk until nearly sunrise, Asher had been relentless,
03:18like he had a point of breath on.
03:20By the end, we were both completely wrecked.
03:22And right before he drifted off from his arms around,
03:25he murmured the same thing twice.
03:27We weren't really prepared for the first time.
03:32I get you the pill first thing tomorrow morning.
03:35He'd even given me this little lecture about how he was stated to take care of themselves.
03:39Said the morning after pill was really important,
03:42and that skipping it could mess up my body.
03:44And I had actually thought, this is it.
03:46He's the one.
03:47He's being so responsible.
03:49I finally got my purse out.
03:51And now, the clarity hit me like a slap.
03:54I dug my nails into my own palm until the pain forced the tears to stop.
03:58I wiped my face, straightened my glasses,
04:01and walked out of that bathroom like nothing had happened.
04:04I was too embarrassed to go to a real pharmacy.
04:06So I ordered the pill online instead.
04:08When the delivery guy left the package at my door,
04:11I waited another long stretch before I could even break myself to go get it.
04:15I swallowed it with a mouth full of my own tears.
04:18Then I just sat down on the floor, staring at nothing.
04:21Completely empty.
04:25Ever since Asher's family had moved next door to mine,
04:28I trailed after the police shadow.
04:30That had been ten years of my life.
04:32I had genuinely never stopped to think about what a world without him would even look like.
04:37I couldn't picture it.
04:38But starting right now, I was going to have to figure it out alone.
04:41Outside the floor-to-ceiling window,
04:43the neighborhood lights blinked on, one by one, and then off again.
04:47At some point, I really didn't know how long I'd been sitting there.
04:51Mia called me on FaceTime.
04:56Stella, why didn't you come to the party tonight with Ashler?
04:59That girl Chloe from the AP track is here, by the way.
05:01She has been all over him since he did a show.
05:04It's actually disgusting.
05:05In the dark corner of the VIP booth,
05:07Asher and Chloe were sitting so close together, their thighs were touching.
05:11Chloe had worn a crop top and a curve-hugging miniskirt.
05:14Long tan legs, tiny waist.
05:17Even the way they were talking looked more like whispering secrets than having a conversation.
05:21I could feel the charged energy between them through the screen.
05:25Something in my chest locked up.
05:27He'd only said he wanted to chase her this afternoon,
05:29and apparently, tonight was all the time he needed.
05:33The game switched to truth or dare, and Chloe drew a card that said,
05:39Do a push-up challenge with a guy hovering over me.
05:44Predictably, Asher volunteered before anyone else could open their mouth.
05:47Chloe blushed bright pink and lay back against the couch cushions.
05:51Asher planted his hands on either side of her.
05:54He was controlled the whole time, deliberately keeping his body from making contact with hers.
05:59Until the very last one.
06:01His arms gave out, and his entire weight came down directly on top of her.
06:05The room erupted, everyone screaming so loud, the walls practically shook.
06:10Asher's and Chloe's faces went even redder.
06:13With the whole crowd going absolutely feral around them,
06:16Asher just tilted his head down and kissed her.
06:18Not a quick peck, a full, deep, for the whole room to see kiss.
06:23Three full minutes before they finally pulled apart.
06:25For all three of those minutes, I sat completely frozen.
06:28Eyes locked on the screen, barely remembering to breathe.
06:32I wanted to cry so badly.
06:34Oh my god, Stella, did you see that?
06:37He literally kissed her in front of everyone.
06:40He is so into her.
06:43Mia shook her head and stepped out of the booth, turning the camera as she went.
06:46Don't be mad at me.
06:47If I hadn't shown you, you never would have let yourself move on.
06:50I'm not mad at you.
06:52I'm only mad at myself for wasting so many years.
06:56I had always assumed that the spot beside Asher was mine.
06:59That it would always be mine.
07:00I am so done with him, Stella.
07:02Who does he think he is?
07:03Watching you love him for years, acting all innocent like he had no idea, just letting
07:07you fall deeper and deeper.
07:08You saw what I showed you.
07:10I'm not giving myself the chance.
07:12Mia, I've already decided I'm going to California with you.
07:16But you have to promise me you'll keep it quiet for now.
07:19Right after I said it, I flipped open my laptop right in front of her.
07:22Without a single second of hesitation, I changed my first choice school to the one in California.
07:27One minute before the deadline.
07:29Mia basically levitated off the ground.
07:32She'd been begging me for months to apply to the same school as her.
07:36But back when we started high school, Asher and I had made this pact.
07:39We'd work hard together and go to his dream school up in Boston after graduation.
07:43It had his aerospace engineering program, the one he'd been obsessed with since we were
07:48kids.
07:48So even though I didn't particularly love the idea of brutal winters, and even though
07:53that school was a technical institute that didn't even have my major, I'd spent three
07:57years treating it like my only option.
07:59Our families had lived next door to each other for so long that both sets of parents thought
08:04it was basically a done deal we'd end up at the same school.
08:07Everyone, including me, assumed Asher and I would just naturally become official once
08:12we got to college.
08:13But right now, I couldn't think of a single reason to still go to Boston.
08:17Because honestly, after today, if I kept following Asher around the way I always had, I would
08:22never be able to look myself in the mirror again.
08:25I just needed to go somewhere far away.
08:27It didn't even matter where, as long as he wasn't there.
08:30He was going east, so I was going west.
08:32Before bed, I filled the entire bathtub.
08:35I needed to scrub every inch of myself clean.
08:38But when I took off my clothes, the bruises on my skin were still so vivid, it made me
08:44flinch.
08:44The memories from last night rushed back before I could stop them.
08:48The burning heat of his skin pressed against mine.
08:51The sound of his breath ragged and warm against my ear.
08:54The ghost of it all still seemed to linger in the air around me.
08:58I shook my head hard, physically trying to shake myself free of it.
09:01Then I grabbed the roughest loofah I owned and scrubbed myself raw, over and over, until
09:08my whole body was flushed pink from singing.
09:10I was trying, clumsily, desperately, to erase what was officially the worst night of my entire
09:17life.
09:18The result was that the pain kept me awake the whole night anyway.
09:21Asher didn't text.
09:22For the first time in six years, ever since we both got phones, we didn't say goodnight
09:27to each other.
09:28That was fine.
09:29It was going to happen eventually anyway.
09:31Tonight was as good a time as any to start letting go.
09:34I didn't fall asleep until just before sunrise, drifting in and out of exhaustion.
09:39Early the next morning, while I was still buried in sleep, I felt, in that foggy space
09:44between dream and awake, the soft press of lips against my forehead.
09:48I jolted awake.
09:50The first thing my eyes landed on was a jaw I knew too well, and the soft dip of a
09:55throat
09:55right above me.
09:56The scent hit me next.
09:57Cedarwood.
09:58That cologne he always wore.
10:00And underneath it, the faintest trace of something new.
10:03Something citrusy that wasn't his.
10:05Right.
10:06I'd completely forgotten that Asher still knew my front door code.
10:09Seeing me awake, he shifted lower and tilted his face down toward my lips.
10:14I shoved him back with both hands and scrambled to the far edge of the bed.
10:17He blinked, then let out a short laugh like I'd surprised him.
10:23Since when are you shy?
10:24I didn't answer.
10:25I just yanked the blanket over my head and disappeared under it.
10:29Asher started talking.
10:32Stella, seriously.
10:34You didn't say goodnight, you turned your phone off and now you're hiding under a blanket?
10:38Still avoiding me?
10:39Then he just lifted the blanket and slid himself right in.
10:45Hey, how many times have I told you, you can't skip breakfast?
10:49I ran half a mile to get you those croissants from your favorite place and I stood in line forever.
10:55Wanna get up and eat now?
10:57Or get eaten?
11:01Reality crashed back in and I fought like my life depended on it.
11:05But I'm 5'2 in sneakers and Asher is literally 6'2 of solid muscle.
11:09I honestly could not figure out what game he was playing.
11:12He had Chloe now, so what was he even doing in my bed?
11:15I tried to push him away only to be held even tighter.
11:19Let go of me!
11:20After what felt like forever of thrashing around, I was panting and had accomplished nothing except being held even tighter.
11:27What's the tantrum about?
11:30You're mad because I didn't bring you to the party last night?
11:33Over something that small?
11:34I said nothing.
11:35He buried his face in the curve of my neck and actually laughed.
11:39Let me guess.
11:40Mia told you something?
11:42It was a party game, Stella.
11:44Is it really worth getting jealous over?
11:46You're doing that thing you always do.
11:48I get slightly close to another girl and you go all silent and sulky.
11:53I was so furious I couldn't even form a sentence.
11:56I dredged up something from a self-defense unit in gym class, snapped my knee up hard between us,
12:01and the second he doubled over, I launched myself out of that bed.
12:04Stella.
12:05Asher's jaw went tight, his whole face going red.
12:08I grabbed a hoodie off the floor and yanked it on over my pajamas.
12:12I did not want to be in any room with him, and especially not my bedroom.
12:27Hey, you took that pill yesterday, right?
12:29Because I really don't need that kind of drama, and I definitely don't want to have that conversation with your
12:33parents.
12:41Come on, be reasonable.
12:43Eat something before you pick a fight.
12:48You know your stomach's sensitive.
12:58What is actually going on?
13:00Stella, even a tantrum needs a reason.
13:03There have to be some limits here.
13:04I kept my voice ice-cold and set it flat.
13:08I don't deserve to have any say.
13:11Asher snapped.
13:12He slammed the cup down on the coffee table so hard it cracked.
13:15The plastic split and the smoothie spilled out in a wave, soaking into the rug.
13:19What is that supposed to mean?
13:23Who do you think you are, Stella?
13:26Who do you think you are?
13:29We slept together once, it was consensual, and now you think you own me?
13:35Do you know how suffocating that is?
13:37His voice had a viciousness to it I had never heard before.
13:41The second he finished speaking, my eyes flooded.
13:43No warning, no buildup, just instant tears.
13:47Yesterday's humiliation came crashing back, hitting me all over again like a fresh wound.
13:52Asher clearly hadn't expected me to cry this hard this fast.
13:56He looked genuinely thrown, scrambling for what to do.
13:59He crouched down and said he was sorry.
14:01I'm sorry.
14:02I drank too much last night and I was out of line just now.
14:05He reached out to wipe my face, but I twisted away, putting distance between us.
14:10His hand froze in midair, hovering there.
14:12He opened his mouth to keep trying, but his phone buzzed.
14:15He glanced at the screen once, and his entire expression shifted,
14:18and he stood up and moved toward the door.
14:20I've got something urgent. Take a minute to calm down.
14:23We're going to college soon.
14:25You can't keep throwing fits like a little kid who's going to put up with that.
14:35He hadn't been gone 30 minutes when Mia sent me a screenshot.
14:39Chloe's Instagram story just said,
14:41I'm hungry, and breakfast appeared like magic.
14:44Pretty sure this is mutual now, with a little heart.
14:46The photo was of the exact same croissants that were sitting on my kitchen counter.
14:51I didn't respond.
14:52I just quietly wiped my eyes, got on my hands and knees,
14:56and started cleaning up the smoothie Asher had spilled.
14:58I scrubbed for a long time before I accepted,
15:01with a hollow feeling in my chest,
15:03that the stain had soaked all the way through the wool rug and wasn't coming out.
15:07So, I just threw the whole rug in the trash.
15:09It didn't matter anyway.
15:10That rug was something Asher and his parents had spent an entire afternoon picking out on a family trip,
15:16and he'd lugged it home in his carry-on himself.
15:19Then, I went through everything else.
15:21Every single thing Asher had ever left at my place.
15:24Every gift he'd given me over the years.
15:26Every photo of the two of us.
15:28Every small souvenir and keepsake.
15:30It took the rest of the day,
15:31but I packed every last bit of it up and threw it all out.
15:38I doubted he'd want any of it back, anyway.
15:40After he left that day, the silence stretched.
15:43Days went by, and he didn't reach out at all.
15:45Things with Chloe were probably going great,
15:47or maybe he was waiting for me to be the one who caved first.
15:51In every fight we'd ever had,
15:52I was always the one who broke first.
15:54Every single time.
15:56No exceptions.
15:57But this time, I didn't go looking for him,
15:59and I didn't have any reason to.
16:01I blocked him on everything.
16:02Texts, all social media,
16:04changed my front door code,
16:06and deleted every account he might use to find me.
16:08After that, I called my parents,
16:10who were both traveling for work.
16:11I told them I wanted to spend the summer
16:13visiting my aunt on the other side of the country.
16:16My plan was to stay there until school started,
16:18then head straight to California with Mia,
16:20instead of coming home.
16:21Other than Mia,
16:22no one else knew yet that I'd changed my application.
16:26This plan should work perfectly.
16:27There was basically zero chance I'd run into Asher
16:30if I pulled this off right.
16:31My mom actually laughed over the phone.
16:35Oh, so you and Asher are taking a vacation together?
16:39I made up a quick excuse and didn't go into detail.
16:41I just told her I wanted to visit my aunt and grandma.
16:44I begged my dad to book me the first available flight,
16:47and I was ready to leave that same night.
16:49Of course, because the universe has no chill,
16:52I ran into Asher's mom right at our front door on my way out.
16:56She grabbed my arm warmly and started chattering.
16:59Stella, honey, where's Asher?
17:01He's not going to pick you up?
17:02Didn't he say he was taking you on that ski trip?
17:06Go have fun.
17:08I am 100% behind you two.
17:11I was confused.
17:13I had mentioned once during senior year
17:15that I'd always wanted to try skiing in Colorado,
17:18just offhand.
17:19But given everything that had happened between us,
17:21the idea of going on a trip together
17:23seemed completely impossible.
17:25I was running out of time, though,
17:27so I said something vague and noncommittal
17:29and slipped away.
17:30What I never expected was that at the airport,
17:32I would come face to face with Asher.
17:37He was with a group of friends.
17:39Chloe was there, too.
17:40Asher had her designer bag in one hand
17:42and his other arm slung around her shoulder.
17:44They were trailing at the back of the group.
17:46Every so often,
17:47Chloe would lean her head toward him to say something,
17:50and every single time,
17:52without any hesitation,
17:53he would bend down to listen.
17:55He never did that with me.
17:56Asher had always been taller than me,
17:58and the gap had only gotten bigger over the years.
18:01When it was the two of us,
18:02I was always the one bouncing on my toes,
18:04craning my neck up just to catch his eyes.
18:07Turns out, for the right person,
18:09he would be the one who bends.
18:11I breathed in slowly.
18:12I told myself I needed to have some dignity about this.
18:15Whatever he did was none of my business.
18:18If I let myself overthink it,
18:19I deserved to be slapped.
18:21But there seemed to be only one path to the gate.
18:24All I could do was stay far enough behind
18:26that he wouldn't notice me.
18:27By some miracle,
18:29we eventually reached a fork in the terminal
18:30where the path split.
18:32Asher seemed to get distracted around that.
18:34He made a bunch of calls,
18:35none of which seemed to go through,
18:37and then spent a long time staring at his phone.
18:40Eventually, he borrowed someone else's phone,
18:42his face dark and unreadable,
18:44and disappeared into a nearby bathroom.
18:46A moment later,
18:47my phone rang.
18:48Unknown number.
18:50So you've got a real attitude on you this time.
18:53You're just not going to come to me first?
18:56You actually blocked me?
18:58Fine.
18:59Keep it up.
19:00See how great you do when we're both in Boston,
19:02and you don't know anyone,
19:03and there's no one to look out for you.
19:04Asher came out swinging,
19:06rattling off complaints in one long, irritated breath.
19:08I had absolutely nothing to say to any of that,
19:12but Asher seemed to get angrier at my silence.
19:15I'm done talking about this.
19:16Just unblock me.
19:18I'm heading out of the country
19:19for a couple days with some friends.
19:21Probably won't have great reception.
19:25Don't get all weepy about it.
19:27I couldn't even be bothered to say a single word back.
19:30I hung up and turned my phone off.
19:32From across the terminal,
19:33I watched Asher stalk back to his group,
19:35his expression stormy.
19:37He grabbed Chloe's hand,
19:38didn't hesitate for a second,
19:40and walked toward the left gate.
19:42I let out a long breath,
19:43turned around,
19:44and headed right.
19:46With my family,
19:48I performed happiness,
19:49and honestly,
19:50I got pretty good at it.
19:51I deliberately kept myself slammed with plans,
19:54filling every gap in the day
19:56so I had no room to spiral.
19:57I definitely didn't add Asher back
19:59the way he demanded,
20:01but Mia and some others
20:02kept me updated on his life anyway.
20:04Asher and his friends
20:05had apparently been skiing in Colorado for days.
20:08For some reason,
20:09he was suddenly posting on social media
20:11every single day,
20:12which was completely unlike the version of him
20:14who used to go months without posting anything.
20:17Sometimes, it was slow motion clips of him
20:19carving down the slopes.
20:21Sometimes, it was food and late night parties,
20:23but mostly, it was big group shots
20:25of everyone clowning around in the snow.
20:27Even though I genuinely didn't want to see it,
20:29somehow, people kept sending it to me unprompted.
20:32Everyone was very casually curious
20:34about why I hadn't gone with Asher.
20:36I didn't know what to say,
20:37so I just told people I had family stuff going on.
20:40Mia was the only one
20:41who openly called him a trash human.
20:44Everyone else around me
20:45seemed to be constantly stopping themselves
20:46from saying something.
20:48I knew,
20:48they'd probably figured out something was wrong.
20:52In every single group photo Asher posted,
20:55he and Chloe were glued together,
20:56inseparable.
20:57But that spot beside him had been mine for years,
21:00just mine.
21:01Every time I saw one of those photos,
21:03my face stayed completely neutral,
21:04but something deep in my chest would clench.
21:07He was the first person I ever fell for,
21:09someone I had genuinely,
21:11completely,
21:12embarrassingly loved for such a long time.
21:14In the middle of the night,
21:15alone,
21:16I would fall apart a little,
21:17and sometimes I felt this stubborn,
21:19stupid feeling
21:20that I wasn't ready to let go.
21:21But every time that feeling started rising,
21:24I'd replay his words
21:25and give myself a mental slap.
21:27I'd repeat it to myself over and over.
21:29Stella,
21:30don't be pathetic.
21:31That's the fastest way
21:32to make yourself even less worth respecting.
21:34Just hold on a little longer.
21:36Once the detox period was over,
21:38everything would be fine.
21:39We went a full month without any contact,
21:42the longest we'd ever gone
21:43since the day we met.
21:44Distance and time
21:45turned out to be the best medicine.
21:47I ground through the worst of it
21:48and came out the other side.
21:50Just when I'd reached the point
21:51where I didn't think about him
21:52every hour of every day,
21:54he switched to a new number
21:55and called me from across the country.
22:00So you're just that bold,
22:02running off without me
22:03and staying this long?
22:05Summer's almost over, Stella.
22:08Did you forget you promised
22:10to go on a trip with me?
22:11Maybe it was because
22:12we'd gone so long without talking,
22:14but underneath all the complaints,
22:16his voice had this
22:16edge to it,
22:18almost careful.
22:18I still didn't want to talk to him.
22:20I was about to hang up
22:21when his mom snatched the phone.
22:23Stella, sweetheart,
22:25are you having fun out there?
22:27This boy won't tell me anything.
22:28I only just found out
22:30you two had a fight.
22:32Don't be too hard on him, honey.
22:34When you come back,
22:35I'll make him apologize
22:36to your face.
22:38Oh, and Ashler
22:39just got his acceptance letter today.
22:41Yours should come soon, too.
22:43Have you thought about
22:44when you'll come home
22:45for your going away party?
22:46I've got a little surprise planned.
22:49Asher's mom had been
22:50like a second family to me
22:51since I was little.
22:52I couldn't bring myself
22:53to hang up on her,
22:54so I stayed on
22:55and let her talk.
22:56I'm not really planning
22:57to have a party.
22:58My parents are always traveling,
22:59and honestly,
23:01we can just do a video call thing
23:02with family.
23:03I probably won't be back
23:04before school starts anyway.
23:06I'll just come home
23:07right before move in.
23:08I didn't even finish the sentence
23:09before Asher took the phone back.
23:11His breathing was heavy.
23:13I could feel the anger
23:14coming through
23:14from 3,000 miles away.
23:18Stella,
23:19I'm literally the one
23:20reaching out first here.
23:21How much longer
23:22are you going to keep this up?
23:24If you don't come back,
23:25don't expect me to wait for you.
23:27I'll head to Boston without you.
23:29He delivered the threat
23:30in this cold, flat voice,
23:32waited and waited
23:33without getting the answer he wanted.
23:35My acceptance letter
23:36had already arrived at home.
23:38When they saw the school name
23:39on the letter,
23:40my parents finally found out
23:42I'd changed my application.
23:44My mom video called me.
23:45Hi, baby.
23:46Why didn't you talk to us
23:48before changing your application?
23:50Does Asher know?
23:51His mom called this morning
23:53asking if your letter
23:54had come yet.
23:55I had no words.
24:00Baby,
24:00how are we supposed to feel okay
24:01about you going all the way
24:02to California alone?
24:03Aren't you the kid
24:04who's terrified of bugs
24:06and can't handle heat?
24:07You really think you can manage?
24:09Don't call me
24:10to come deal with it for you.
24:12That school has a lot to offer
24:13and Mia will be going there too.
24:16You don't have to worry.
24:17Is this about a fight with Asher?
24:20Because that's not a reason
24:22to switch schools
24:22across the country.
24:25What if you change your mind
24:26in a week
24:27and want him back?
24:28Then what?
24:29It's hard at your caption.
24:30I just decided
24:32to say it straight.
24:34Asher has a girlfriend.
24:36Mom,
24:36Dad,
24:37I have my own life
24:39and I don't want to just
24:40orbit around his forever.
24:42So please support my choice
24:45and please keep it
24:46between us for now.
24:47My parents looked at each other
24:49for a long time
24:51without speaking.
24:52The only thing they asked
24:53was that I come home sooner
24:55rather than later.
24:56School was starting soon
24:57and they wanted time with me.
24:59My mom mentioned that
25:00Asher had gone off
25:00on another trip with friends
25:02the very next day
25:03after getting his acceptance letter.
25:05He'd been gone
25:05for days.
25:06His mom was apparently
25:07calling my mom regularly
25:09asking when I was flying back.
25:11On the day I landed,
25:12my parents showed up
25:13at the airport
25:14dressed like they were
25:14going somewhere formal.
25:16I woke up from my nap
25:17on the drive.
25:18I realized
25:18they'd pulled up
25:19to a five-star hotel.
25:21I was still half asleep
25:22when my mom grabbed my arm
25:24and steered me
25:25through the lobby
25:26and right there
25:27standing in the middle of it
25:28was Asher
25:29who I hadn't seen
25:30in months.
25:31My feet
25:32stopped moving
25:33on their own.
25:34Asher was in a perfectly
25:35fitted black suit
25:36leaning casually
25:37beside the lobby fountain
25:38like something out
25:39of a magazine spread.
25:41Just one summer
25:42was all it took.
25:43The boyish edge
25:43had faded
25:44and he looked exactly
25:45like the version of him
25:46I used to imagine
25:47when I tried to picture
25:49him grown up.
25:49Something complicated
25:50twisted in my chest.
25:52I'd avoided this moment
25:53for months
25:53and now here it was
25:55sprung on me
25:55with no warning.
25:57Stella
25:57it's Ashler's
25:59going away party.
26:00We figured we'd
26:00pick you up
26:01and bring you
26:01straight here.
26:03You said you didn't
26:04want a party
26:04of your own
26:05right?
26:06Ashley asked his parents
26:07to set the date
26:08for the day
26:09you got back
26:09so you can kind of
26:10both celebrate together.
26:11Asher seemed
26:12to sense something
26:13because right then
26:14he casually glanced over
26:15and his gaze
26:16landed directly on mine.
26:18My heart
26:18lurched sideways
26:20still felt like
26:21the floor dropped out
26:22but Asher moved first.
26:23He took one step
26:24toward us
26:25and then Chloe
26:25appeared out of nowhere
26:27and slipped her arm
26:28through his.
26:29She pulled him along
26:30with her
26:30smiling wide
26:31and walked right
26:32over to us.
26:34Oh my gosh
26:35Stella
26:35you're back.
26:37I've been wanting
26:37to properly meet you
26:39forever.
26:40I always saw you
26:41around with Asher.
26:43I'm from the AP track
26:44so we never
26:45officially met
26:46and I'm genuinely
26:49sad about that.
26:50Yeah.
26:51Asher looked
26:52vaguely uncomfortable.
26:53Why would you
26:54want to get to know her?
26:55She's just a drama queen
26:57who throws fits.
26:59I honestly thought
27:00she'd stayed
27:01in her aunt's state
27:01forever.
27:02The world will
27:03keep on turning
27:04and your name
27:04will be forgotten.
27:05I had nothing
27:06to say to that.
27:07There was genuinely
27:08no response.
27:09Chloe's silver
27:10bodycon dress
27:11was covered
27:11in tiny crystals
27:12that caught
27:13every bit of light
27:14in the room.
27:14I glanced down
27:15at myself.
27:16White tea,
27:17jeans,
27:17sneakers,
27:18hair that still
27:18had a slight
27:19slept on wave
27:20from the plane.
27:20I looked like
27:21I'd made a wrong
27:22turn on the way
27:23to a convenience store.
27:24I brought a dress
27:25for you, baby.
27:25You can go change
27:26in the powder room.
27:27I nodded
27:27then shook my head.
27:29There was no point.
27:30This wasn't my party.
27:31Asher kept staring
27:32at me with this
27:33unreadable expression.
27:35Chloe's eyes kept
27:35flicking back and forth
27:36between the two of us.
27:38Luckily,
27:38a few more guests
27:39arrived just then
27:40and Chloe immediately
27:41pulled Asher over
27:42to greet them
27:43like she was already
27:44the hostess.
27:45Mom, let's go in.
27:45I'm a little hungry.
27:49It was a small gathering.
27:50Asher had only
27:51invited close family
27:52and a handful of friends.
27:54Every single person
27:55I knew looked visibly
27:56shocked when they
27:57saw me walk in.
27:58I just smiled
27:59and said hello
27:59and acted like
28:00I didn't notice.
28:01But nobody was subtle
28:02about their curiosity.
28:04The people watching
28:05energy was off the charts.
28:08I slipped out
28:09to the terrace
28:10for some air
28:10and could immediately
28:11hear a small group
28:12in the hallway
28:13cornering Asher
28:14for the gossip.
28:17Wait,
28:18didn't Stella
28:18fall out with you
28:19over the Chloe thing?
28:20Why is she here?
28:20Did she come crawling back?
28:23She's just quick-tempered
28:24and in a mood.
28:25She always comes around
28:25after a couple of days.
28:26We've known each other
28:27our whole lives.
28:28She's not actually
28:28going to cut me off.
28:29I mean,
28:30Stella's genuinely great.
28:31She's been ride or died
28:31for you for years.
28:32All of us are low-key jealous
28:33of how she treats you.
28:34But, like,
28:35one is your childhood
28:36best friend
28:37and, honestly,
28:38Stella's amazing.
28:39But it also feels
28:40kind of limiting.
28:42I'm young.
28:42I don't want to
28:43only ever have
28:43one person.
28:44That's too predictable.
28:46I need to see
28:46what else is out there.
28:48But that doesn't mean
28:49anything has to end
28:49as long as I know
28:50there's always a light
28:51on at home for me.
28:53You're such a player.
28:54I'd heard enough.
28:55I backed away
28:56as quietly as I could.
28:58The evening breeze
28:58hit my face
28:59and I felt my eyes
29:00go hot.
29:01I just hated myself
29:02for spending so many years
29:04being blind
29:05to who he actually was.
29:07I was in absolutely
29:08the worst mood
29:10of the entire summer.
29:11But Asher's mom
29:12was thrilled to see me
29:14and spent most of dinner
29:15doting on me,
29:16refusing to let go
29:17of my hand.
29:18Stella,
29:18Boston can get really dry
29:20in winter.
29:20Let Asher take you
29:22shopping tomorrow
29:22and stock up
29:23on some good moisturizers.
29:24Oh, it's fine.
29:26There are plenty of shops
29:27out there
29:27and online shopping
29:28is so easy.
29:29She nodded warmly
29:30and turned to my mom.
29:31I already picked out
29:32all the bedding
29:33for the dorms,
29:34got a set for Asher
29:35and one for Stella
29:36at the same time,
29:37all four seasons covered.
29:38Boston winters are brutal.
29:39I went with really
29:41thick comforters
29:42and got a few winter coats
29:43for Stella too.
29:44Don't you worry
29:44about a thing.
29:45My mom made a face
29:46like she'd swallowed something.
29:48All of that would be
29:49completely useless
29:50in California.
29:51But she didn't want
29:52to embarrass anyone,
29:53so she thanked her graciously.
29:54Chloe, sitting nearby,
29:56looked like she was biting
29:57through her own cheek.
29:58Asher's mom didn't
29:59seem to notice.
30:00She kept right on talking,
30:01addressing both of us.
30:03Once you're both in Boston,
30:05you'll be each other's family.
30:07Asher, you better
30:08take good care of Stella
30:09and stop making her upset.
30:11You hear me?
30:11Asher threw a glance
30:12my way with zero expression.
30:15She doesn't need anyone
30:16to look after her.
30:17She's perfectly capable
30:18of flying on her own.
30:19The table got a little stiff
30:21and that's when Chloe
30:22smoothly cut in.
30:23Oh, don't worry.
30:24My school is in Boston too.
30:25I'll be there
30:25to look after Asher.
30:27And Stella will be
30:28all the way in California anyway,
30:29so it's not really practical.
30:32Before she even finished
30:33the sentence,
30:34Asher and his parents'
30:35faces changed.
30:36California?
30:38Every single one of them
30:39looked at me
30:40and asked it
30:41at the same time.
30:43Asher, you didn't know?
30:45It's been on the school's
30:46honor board.
30:47Oh wait,
30:48you haven't been back
30:48to campus.
30:49Every pair of eyes
30:50at the table
30:51swiveled to me.
30:52Under the weight
30:52of all that attention,
30:53I quietly nodded.
30:55My mom stepped in
30:56to explain.
30:57Stella made a last minute
30:59decision to change
31:00her application.
31:01She's going to a great
31:02school in California
31:03and it's actually
31:06the perfect program
31:07for her.
31:07Asher didn't believe it.
31:08He grabbed my hand
31:09and made me look at him.
31:11Stella,
31:12I literally watched you
31:14fill out that application.
31:15We were going
31:16to the same school.
31:17His grip was tight enough
31:18to actually hurt
31:19and it pushed me
31:20over the edge.
31:22Yeah, I changed it.
31:23What does it have
31:24to do with you?
31:25Asher looked stunned
31:26for a second
31:26then started laughing
31:28like I'd said
31:28something ridiculous.
31:29You're joking.
31:30You're literally
31:31the girl who jumps
31:32onto my back
31:33at the sight of a bug
31:34and you're moving
31:35to California?
31:37And you're moving
31:38to California?
31:38I pulled out my phone,
31:40found the crystal clear
31:41photo of my acceptance
31:42letter and held it
31:43up in his face.
31:44Asher took the phone,
31:46zoomed in,
31:47zoomed out,
31:47read it over and over
31:49and finally let out
31:50a laugh that
31:51had no humor
31:52in it at all.
31:53In the middle
31:53of everyone's gasps,
31:55he grabbed my wrist
31:56and pulled me
31:56out of the dining room.
31:59He pulled me
32:00into a side room
32:01and locked the door
32:02behind us.
32:02Asher planted himself
32:03against it,
32:04cutting off any escape
32:05and came at me hard.
32:07Stella,
32:07I cannot believe you.
32:09You're so mad
32:09that you just forget
32:10our whole plan,
32:11go behind my back
32:12and commitment
32:13to a school
32:14across the country.
32:14I lifted my head.
32:15I took a breath
32:16and made myself
32:17look him straight
32:17in the eye.
32:18I have my own plans.
32:21Since when do I
32:21have to build
32:22my entire future
32:23around what you want?
32:24Asher,
32:25be honest with yourself.
32:26Are you actually
32:27upset about the plan?
32:29Or are you upset
32:30because I'm not available
32:31to be your fallback girl
32:33anymore?
32:33The color drained
32:34from his face.
32:35What is that supposed
32:35to mean?
32:36Could you not phrase
32:37things like that?
32:38We're adults.
32:40That night was
32:40completely mutual.
32:41Are you seriously
32:42still bringing that up?
32:43I was embarrassed,
32:44but I held his gaze anyway.
32:46Asher,
32:46if you like someone else,
32:47you could have just said so.
32:48I'm not so shameless
32:49that I would have kept
32:50throwing myself at you.
32:52But you knew
32:52you didn't like me back
32:53and you just watched me
32:54walk straight into the flame.
32:55That was fun for you,
32:56wasn't it?
32:57Even now,
32:57he still didn't get it.
32:58People don't say goodbye
32:59until they've completely
33:00run out of hope.
33:02He flushed.
33:02Something in what I said hit.
33:04His face went from white
33:05to red
33:06and he visibly swayed.
33:07What do you even
33:09listen to what you're saying?
33:10You...
33:10He couldn't finish
33:11the sentence.
33:14Stella,
33:14we've known each other
33:15since we were eight years old
33:16and we're 18 now.
33:18If you're choosing
33:19to walk away
33:19from what we have,
33:20then we don't have
33:21to be friends either.
33:22And with just that,
33:23he turned
33:24and walked out
33:24of the hotel.
33:32From that day
33:33until the day
33:34I left for school,
33:35I never saw Asher again.
33:37Mia sent me
33:37a screenshot
33:38of his official
33:39couple's post
33:40with Chloe.
33:40I deleted it
33:41without even opening it.
33:42Every mutual friend
33:43connected to him,
33:44I blocked.
33:45There was genuinely
33:46no point
33:47in following
33:47any of it anymore.
33:51The only exception
33:52was the day
33:53I flew out
33:54to California.
33:55Of course,
33:55because the universe
33:56has a terrible
33:57sense of humor,
33:58I walked straight
33:58into Asher
33:59at the airport again
34:00with Chloe
34:01still glued
34:02to his side.
34:02When we passed
34:03each other,
34:04he said a stiff hello
34:05to my parents
34:05and kept walking,
34:07clearly still angry.
34:08He didn't look
34:09at me once.
34:09We scattered
34:10in different directions
34:11and neither of us
34:12looked back.
34:12Right before I got
34:14to the security line,
34:15I glanced over
34:16and caught Asher
34:17at his gate
34:17about to board.
34:18He gave me
34:19one cold,
34:20flat look
34:20and then disappeared
34:21through the door
34:22without turning around.
34:23The person who had
34:24been part of every
34:25chapter of my growing up,
34:26we were finally
34:27completely done.
34:29Different destinations
34:30at last
34:31and I hope yours
34:31goes well.
34:32I said it only
34:33to myself.
34:34After that,
34:35a long,
34:35long time passed
34:36without either of us
34:38hearing a single thing
34:39about the other.
34:39I specifically
34:40asked my parents
34:41not to bring up
34:42anything related
34:43to Asher
34:44or his family
34:45in front of me.
34:46Over New Year's break,
34:47a girl from our high school
34:48came to visit.
34:49He's nothing like that
34:50cold,
34:51focused,
34:51straight A guy
34:52he was in high school.
34:53He's completely different.
34:57Honestly,
34:58if you ran into him now,
34:59you might not even
35:00recognize him.
35:02I didn't say anything.
35:03Mia kicked her
35:04under the table
35:05and smoothly changed
35:06the subject
35:06and the girl dropped it.
35:07We did the New Year's
35:09countdown by the water
35:10and Mia told me
35:11to make a wish.
35:12Hope New Year,
35:13Syria Parent Healthy,
35:15Kinketing Under the World.
35:16I realized it was
35:17the first wish
35:18I'd ever made
35:18that had absolutely
35:19nothing to do with him.
35:21For a full six years
35:22of my life,
35:23every single wish
35:24I made had involved
35:25Asher in some way.
35:27Mia,
35:28Happy New Year!
35:29I felt genuinely happy.
35:31I knew I had finally,
35:33actually,
35:34completely let go.
35:35The first winter break
35:37of college,
35:38I missed my parents
35:39so badly
35:39I couldn't stand it.
35:41The second my last exam
35:42was done,
35:43I was on the first flight home.
35:44What I didn't expect
35:45was that Asher
35:46had come to the airport
35:47with my parents
35:48to pick me up.
35:49After half a year apart,
35:51we had both changed.
35:52He was thinner,
35:53had dyed his hair,
35:54but was still,
35:55honestly,
35:56annoyingly good looking.
35:57I've always had
35:58terrible judgment
35:59about people,
36:00but my taste
36:00has never been the problem.
36:02Why else would I have
36:03been trailing after him
36:04since we were five?
36:05Hey there,
36:05big bro Asher.
36:06He stared at me
36:07like I'd spoken
36:08a different language.
36:09We ran into him outside.
36:11He insisted on
36:12coming along to help.
36:13I smiled and waved her off.
36:15It was fine.
36:18In the car,
36:19I immediately launched
36:20into all the funny things
36:21that had happened at school,
36:22and my parents
36:23were the whole ride.
36:24No one was paying
36:25any attention to Asher.
36:28You've worked hard.
36:30Please send our regards
36:31to your parents.
36:31He seemed like he wanted
36:32to come inside
36:32when we got home,
36:33but all three of us
36:34politely turned him down together.
36:36My grandma and my aunt
36:37had both come back
36:38to celebrate the holidays
36:39that year.
36:40New Year's Eve
36:41was loud and packed
36:42with family.
36:43After the big dinner,
36:44the older relatives
36:45parked themselves
36:45in front of the TV
36:46while the rest of us
36:48were teaching each other
36:48card games.
36:49That's when Asher
36:50showed up at the door
36:51with his parents,
36:52arms full of bags.
36:53Our house is too quiet
36:54tonight.
36:55Hope you don't mind
36:56us crashing your game.
37:04Asher's mom laughed
37:05as she walked in.
37:07Every year growing up,
37:08the two families
37:09had spent the holiday
37:09together.
37:10This year,
37:11because of everything
37:12that had happened,
37:13my mom had turned down
37:14the invitation
37:14to share the big dinner.
37:16But you can't exactly
37:17turn people away
37:18once they're at your door.
37:20Asher settled himself
37:21naturally.
37:21My cousins had no idea
37:23about any of the drama
37:24and kept teasing us
37:25like they always had.
37:26I laughed it off.
37:28It's not what you think.
37:30Asher's expression
37:31went a little flat.
37:32When midnight came
37:33and we all went outside
37:34for sparklers,
37:36he caught my arm
37:38and looked like he was
37:39working up to say something.
37:40My phone rang.
37:41My face went a little warm.
37:43It was a guy from
37:44one of my clubs at school.
37:46Hi, Stella.
37:48I'm just a bit bored
37:49and wanted to say
37:50Happy New Year to you.
37:51A local California boy
37:52named Jake.
37:53He was good looking too.
37:54Not in that cold, aloof way.
37:56More like the guy
37:57who's always laughing
37:58at everything
37:59and making you laugh
38:00right along with him.
38:01He never ran out
38:02of things to say
38:03and he had a way
38:04of making me completely
38:05lose it at the most
38:06random things.
38:07We talked for a while longer
38:08and when he finally hung up,
38:10Asher was standing
38:11right behind me
38:11with a face
38:12like a thundercloud.
38:15Boyfriend?
38:17Not yet, I guess.
38:21Not yet, I guess.
38:23I thought about it
38:24and answered honestly.
38:25I assumed he was done
38:26but then he spoke again.
38:28Long distance guys
38:29aren't always reliable.
38:31You should find someone local,
38:32someone you actually know.
38:36I nodded.
38:37Something in that
38:38seemed to land
38:39somewhere tender.
38:40You're right.
38:40You really can't tell
38:41with people.
38:42I'll keep my guard up.
38:43Asher went quiet
38:44for a very long time.
38:46I assumed he was done.
38:48I didn't think
38:48too hard about it.
38:50Thanks for the advice,
38:51big bro.
38:52You should figure out
38:53your own situation too.
38:54He'd always been
38:55unpredictable like that.
38:56After that,
38:57I spent the rest of break
38:58bouncing around
38:59visiting relatives
39:00with my grandma
39:01and parents
39:01and then we did
39:02a little road trip.
39:03I was barely home.
39:04I didn't run into Asher once.
39:06The break was short
39:07and soon enough
39:08I was back at school
39:09but the very next day
39:10after I arrived,
39:11Asher was standing
39:12outside my campus gate.
39:15Asher,
39:16what are you doing here?
39:17I wanted to see
39:18what your school looks like
39:20and check if you're
39:21actually doing okay
39:22out here.
39:24Really well,
39:25actually.
39:25The food here is amazing.
39:27You should look up
39:27some spots and try them.
39:29Stella,
39:30can't you come eat
39:31with me just once?
39:35Sorry about that, man.
39:36I've already got Stella
39:37booked.
39:38You'll have to get in line.
39:39Stella,
39:40you came back to school
39:42this early for him?
39:45Sorry, Asher.
39:47We're heading out to eat.
39:48I'll see you.
39:49Let's go.
39:50Didn't you say the place was far?
39:51Stop standing there.
39:53Asher was still standing
39:54at the campus gate
39:55watching us
39:55and under the shadow
39:56of the trees,
39:57he looked incredibly alone.
39:59He suddenly started
40:01showing up in my world
40:02constantly.
40:02I never found out
40:04what excuse he gave
40:05his school
40:05but he kept appearing
40:06in California out of nowhere.
40:08He started showing up
40:09with gifts,
40:09flowers,
40:10bags,
40:11jewelry
40:11and I turned
40:12every single one down.
40:14When there was nothing
40:14else to do,
40:15he'd just sit outside
40:16my dorm building
40:17and refuse to leave
40:18no matter how many times
40:20I asked.
40:20Whenever he managed
40:21to catch me,
40:22he'd fallen to step
40:23beside me
40:24to every single class
40:25then follow me
40:26to the dining hall.
40:27Jake was visibly miserable
40:28about the whole thing.
40:29Asher's mom had been
40:30calling and messaging me
40:31from multiple angles.
40:33She begged me
40:33to please talk
40:34some sense into him.
40:35I was beyond done.
40:37I genuinely could not
40:38figure out
40:38what Asher thought
40:39he was doing.
40:42Stella,
40:42why does Jake
40:43get to pursue you
40:44but I don't?
40:46Son of Witasthas.
40:48He's known you
40:49for what,
40:49a few months?
40:50How many years
40:51have I known you?
40:53No one in this world
40:54understands you
40:55the way I do,
40:56not even your parents.
40:57And no one is better
40:58for you than me.
41:04Ashler,
41:06do you genuinely
41:07not remember
41:07what you did?
41:09Ask yourself honestly,
41:11did you ever actually
41:13treat my feelings
41:14like they mattered?
41:16You just liked
41:17the ego boost
41:18of having me
41:19chase after you.
41:20You knew no matter
41:21what you did,
41:21I wouldn't leave,
41:22so you just did
41:23whatever you felt like
41:24with my heart.
41:26Yeah,
41:27I did some things
41:27wrong back then.
41:29I was young,
41:30I thought the whole world
41:31was waiting for me
41:32and I didn't want to feel
41:33like I was tied
41:33to any one person.
41:35I owe you
41:36a real apology,
41:37Stella.
41:37I'm sorry.
41:39But even if you
41:40treat me like a stranger,
41:41can I at least
41:42have the chance
41:43to start over
41:43and earn it back?
41:44After you left,
41:45I realized I don't know
41:46how to live
41:47without you in it.
41:48I can't imagine
41:49going forward
41:50and not having anyone
41:51to share everything with.
41:52Honestly,
41:53since leaving you,
41:54I figured out
41:55that real,
41:56mutual feelings
41:57don't require you
41:58to shrink yourself
41:58down to nothing.
41:59I can just be myself.
42:01My mood doesn't have
42:02to orbit around
42:03someone else's
42:03and when I realized that,
42:05I started to wonder
42:06if what I felt back then
42:08was ever real love
42:09or just something
42:10a younger,
42:10more naive version
42:11of me invented.
42:15But, but, we made promises.
42:21We said we'd go
42:22to college together,
42:23study abroad together,
42:24travel the whole world together.
42:26Are you going to walk away
42:26from all of that too?
42:28Stella, are you going to
42:29leave all this behind too?
42:31You broke the promises first
42:33and I've already found someone
42:36I want to do
42:36all of those things with.
42:40Stop, Stella.
42:41Please, just stop.
42:47Maybe you're not
42:48actually in love with me.
42:49Maybe you just
42:50can't stand the idea
42:51of losing.
42:52Asher, honestly,
42:54it's time for you
42:55to move on too.
42:59I didn't wait
42:59for a response.
43:00Jake had been waiting
43:01across the street
43:02for a while.
43:02I jogged over
43:03and he immediately
43:04reached down
43:05and took my hand.
43:08Finally shook the ex?
43:11Did you tell him
43:12I've got full
43:13bug patrol rights now?
43:14He doesn't get
43:14a single one?
43:17Everyone is going
43:18through their own goodbyes.
43:19As for us,
43:21it's finally
43:22completely over.
43:24Fading away
43:25like the rain.
43:26Everyone in the middle
43:27of their own goodbye.
43:27And just like that,
43:29the two of us
43:30were finally
43:30completely over.
43:32scattered like rain.
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