00:19On March 11, 2005, I woke up, it was like, I felt every painful moment in my life that
00:27I didn't deal with, that I didn't address, that I didn't think mattered to me, I felt
00:32in one morning.
00:35Some of my friends and family came to visit me and I remember the look on their face.
00:39They were horrified.
00:42If I do this, the pain don't leave, it just transfers to them.
00:50I look at those pill bottles piling up and then you question everything.
00:56Am I as tough as I thought I was?
00:59I guess I wasn't really tough.
01:01I guess it was just all an illusion.
01:03I guess it was just all in my head.
01:10There's no one on this planet who doesn't know what it's like to hurt, what it's like
01:13to feel, what it's like to cry, what it's like to think you are absolutely broken.
01:18Everyone knows those kind of thoughts.
01:23I can, I can, yeah, I go to that dark place, but I don't stay there.
01:27I was never supposed to live in there.
01:29We're supposed to go through the dark places, you know, and I think that, you know, when
01:32they say the light at the end of the tunnel, you know, the light is not an illusion, the
01:36tunnel is.
01:42I was always tired.
01:44I was always tired.
01:45You heard me say, you know, I'm tired, I'm tired.
01:47But now I'm determined when I die, I'm not going to die tired.
01:51I'm going to die empty.
01:55I was dreaming.
01:57I was really dreaming.
02:00For the first time in my life, I was learning to visualize my future instead of remember
02:07my past.
02:19anyone can be broken, but this is the most important thing.
02:27Anyone can live.
02:30Anyone can find hope.
02:41Everyone can find hope.
02:42Final call.
02:46You are just going to die.
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