00:00I don't mind being called a brilliant total tyrant dictator, but I don't want
00:05to be called dumb. What do I do, doctor? Is there some kind of a test I can take?
00:11He said, actually, sir, there is. It's a cognitive test. I'm the smartest guy you're
00:16ever gonna meet. And don't you want to have a smart person as president? You
00:28know, in fact, I took the cognitive test. I'm the only one. You know, they call me
00:34originally, they said, he's brilliant. He wants to take over the entire country.
00:39Then they said, no, no, he wants the world. He doesn't want the country. That's why
00:44he's in Iran. That's why he's in. Hey, by the way, how did we do in Venezuela? Not bad.
00:48That's why. You know, we've taken out so much oil in Venezuela. We paid for the cost
00:54of the war about 25 times over. When did you hear that last? You know, it's a one-way
01:00street. But no, no, the doctor, I said, doctor, let me ask you a question. They
01:06called me genius and that didn't work. Then they said, he's totally brilliant. He's a
01:10vicious dictator who wants to take over. That didn't work. And then they called me
01:13this. And then they said, they hit me with a bad one. He's a dumb person. D-U-M. Not
01:19the B.
01:21He's a dumb person. It's enough. Most people don't know it has a B. He's a dumb person.
01:27I said, doctor, I don't mind being called a brilliant total tyrant dictator, but I don't
01:33want to be called dumb. What do I do, doctor? Is there some kind of a test I can take?
01:39He said, actually, sir, there is. It's a cognitive test. I said, how many presidents
01:44have taken it? None. You know this story. No people have taken it. I said, well, is it
01:51good or bad? Is it tough? It's a tough test. It starts off easy. It gets very, very tough.
01:56I said, well, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to take that test, I think, doctor,
02:00because I do good on tests. I'm going to take that test. And let's see how we do.
02:04He said, here's the problem, sir. If you do badly on the test, it's going to be reported
02:08because it's Walter Reed Medical Hospital. It's a military hospital. It's sort of public.
02:13So you have five doctors sitting there and they're all, if you do badly on it, sir,
02:18and you could do badly because, you know, the questions are very easy at the beginning,
02:23then pretty easy, then pretty hard. By the time you get to the end, there are not a lot
02:26of people in the room can get them, believe me. I said, well, it will be public, won't it?
02:32It'll be embarrassment, but let's do it. This was in my first term. I took it and I aced it.
02:36And they had very... They had tough questions. So the first question was,
02:46you have a bear, a snake, an elephant, and a horse. Name the horse. That's the horse.
02:55The second question's a little bit tough, and then he goes, so the New York Times
02:59does a story to show the test that I just aced, and they only used the first question.
03:03They didn't go into the other questions. They didn't go in, but toward the end,
03:08like they had a question like, pick a number, sir, any number. Okay.
03:12203. Multiply times 9. Divide by 2. Add on 1,324. Subtract 1,292. Sir, multiply it out one more
03:30time by 19.
03:33What is the answer, sir? And I got it right. You know?
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03:52We'll see you next weekend.
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