- 10 hours ago
Crookhaven S01E01
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:05so here's the first thing you should know about me i never stole from just anyone i had rules rule
00:11number one they had to be rich like they could spare a few quid rule number two they had to
00:18be
00:18alone no witnesses oh definitely no one with kids normally i wouldn't have picked an old man to be
00:27honest but what can i say we were hungry and he was the perfect mark posh alone distracted
00:39oh sorry sir should look where i'm going let me help you oh i think not my bad
00:50it was too easy
00:56i guess i should have known
01:00look i know coppers have a dodgy rep these days but you seem like one of the good ones
01:04so i was thinking we could just all call this an honest mistake i'm arresting you for theft
01:09you do not have to say wait there's actually one tiny little thing that i would like to say
01:19wait get back here
01:24wait get back here
01:27stop right there
01:29stop right there
01:30I don't know.
02:08I can't believe you were 40 this time, honestly.
02:11You and Scratch Clothes, what's your secret?
02:13Guess I was just born lucky.
02:18Someday soon, we're going to eat like this every night.
02:21Not every night.
02:22Don't give me hips.
02:23We're going to live in a caravan by the sea.
02:25You're going to have to clean for those stupid mercies.
02:29I'm going to give you the life you deserve.
02:32I swear.
02:35What are you up to?
02:38It's us against the world, right, Grandma?
02:40Always.
02:45What is it, honey?
02:46It's my coin.
02:47My lucky coin.
03:12We can retrace our stout.
03:16No, it's not.
03:38Where am I?
03:51Look around, bro.
03:52Literally nothing here.
03:54Just like woods.
03:56Don't blame me.
03:57They said get off at Wuhan.
03:59Look, this is Wuhan.
04:01Like, what a joke, bro.
04:02Now I'm stranded in an actual wasteland.
04:04I'm not giving the tactical choice between this and police custody.
04:07I just thought...
04:08What?
04:12Who are you?
04:13Could ask you the exact same question.
04:16Where are you going? We're in the middle of a conversation here?
04:19Rude.
04:25Just out of interest, you aren't told to, like, board a train by, say, a cryptic message on your computer.
04:30Word to the wise.
04:31When you got that message, you aren't hypothetically maybe engaged in something ethically challenging.
04:37What if I was?
04:39Look, man, it sounds like we're both brung here by the same evil genius.
04:43So don't it kind of make sense to share what we know?
04:45All I know is, whoever this is, I need to take back what they stole.
04:49Didn't stole nothing from us.
04:51And do whatever it takes to stop them grassing me up.
04:54Otherwise, my life is basically over.
05:18This was a bad idea.
05:20A bunch of kids walk through the woods.
05:22That's literally the plot of every horror movie I've ever made.
05:25Hey, mystery man.
05:27How do you even know you're going the right way?
05:29He doesn't.
05:30He's about 45 degrees off course.
05:32Look, I saw a glitch from my GPS.
05:34Like the whole area just deleted from the map.
05:39That's where we're headed, no?
05:41You're hackers.
05:42What makes you say that?
05:43Jigs up, bro.
05:44Mine's all best.
05:46There you go.
05:46We are actually the brothers' crim.
05:48I'm at it.
05:49I'm at it.
05:49I'm at it.
05:51The brothers' crim?
05:53B-hacking legends?
05:55No?
05:57And you are?
06:00The signal's just gone.
06:02Someone blocked it.
06:03Look.
06:04The screen's just died.
06:13This, this whole thing's a trap.
06:14That phone is not going to be the only thing that's there to you.
06:17We're lost.
06:19In the middle of a wood.
06:20No way of calling for help.
06:21No one even knows who are here.
06:24Except...
06:24Them.
06:27Whoever them even is.
06:40It's a maze.
06:41It's a maze.
06:42This whole wood's a maze.
06:42Yeah, right.
06:43It talks a maze.
06:45It's not a trap.
06:47It's a test.
06:49Come on.
06:50I know where to go.
06:51Let's go.
07:04Level one complete.
07:06Power up.
07:07Sorry, how exactly did you do that?
07:09Lucky.
07:10Yes.
07:17Where place to put a statue?
07:19Ezekiel Locket, 1781 to 1857.
07:23What's up with Ezekiel?
07:27We have help here.
07:41Wanna hear a joke?
07:42How many kids does it take to open a door?
07:45One to pick the lock,
07:46and the other three to stand around like morons.
07:49You don't want to bore us here.
07:50Clearly not, dude.
07:51I'm in the same kayak as you.
07:52I'm sorry.
07:53Word to the wise.
07:58Followed your sense of station.
08:0112.3 miles.
08:03You were being followed.
08:04Knew it.
08:06You might not show your face till now.
08:07I assumed this was a trap,
08:09and you would die horribly.
08:16Nope.
08:18It's a decoy.
08:20The real lock must be hidden.
08:28Metal blood.
08:30Why is he pointing out the wall?
08:32Not as dumb as you look.
08:39Oh, duh.
08:41Totally different color.
08:46Watch and learn suckers.
08:47Watch and learn, suckers.
08:50Come on.
08:51Duh.
08:52Duh.
08:53Duh.
08:54I think.
09:02Duh.
09:10Hey!
09:11I'm awake, I'm awake, I'm awake.
09:13Oh, head rush.
09:18Hang on.
09:20Forty is together already?
09:23I wasn't expecting you for hours.
09:25Right there.
09:26Give me a hand, would you?
09:27Yeah, right.
09:28We'll just get on some random boat.
09:30Weird-looking stranger.
09:32Maybe start with who you are, and why we're here.
09:36First one's easy.
09:37I'm Mickey, but I'm not at liberty to tell you the rest.
09:41Just supposed to ferry folk to the island.
09:44What's on the island?
09:46Your future.
09:53But where we were going wasn't just our future.
09:58We were heading for a whole new world.
10:01A million miles from the one we knew.
10:03A world I'd never have believed even existed.
10:09Until I saw it with my own two eyes.
10:14Welcome to Crookhaven!
10:28All right, you lot can't be surrounded all electric devices.
10:31You love cutting my arm off?
10:33Really?
10:33That can be arranged some.
10:40Dude, it's a camera.
10:43I'm not going to make any calls on it.
10:44Right, look lively.
10:45Come along, keep it moving.
10:48Let's go!
11:07This is like some kind of swanky mansion.
11:08Dude, but why did both guys say it's our future?
11:12Guessing it's not a luxury hotel.
11:14No one else getting major prison vibes?
11:17Now I am.
11:29Right, Al.
11:30Horace, get this on charge.
11:32Let the captain know we have all four of these guests.
11:42Don't you stand about catching flies?
11:45Come on, in your trot.
12:00Don't touch it.
12:03Look, it just crawled in.
12:05There it is.
12:06Gotta be.
12:07They reek of it.
12:09We should make them feel at home.
12:17The motive governs the meat.
12:20Yeah, that's our credo.
12:22Sorry, this must all seem very confusing.
12:24Overwhelming.
12:26But come.
12:27We'll explain everything.
12:30So this is a school.
12:32Crick Haven's not just a school.
12:33It's the world's oldest academy for crooks.
12:35And the most exclusive.
12:37Mm-hmm.
12:38In theory.
12:39All crooklings must register within five minutes or will assume you're a hostile interloper.
12:44How does this make sense?
12:45I mean, they get us here by threatening to grasp this to the cops.
12:48And now they want to teach us to be criminals.
12:49Not criminals.
12:52Crooks.
12:53That's the whole point.
12:54We only use our skills to do right.
12:55How do I put this in a way that even a merit can understand?
12:58Um, criminals.
12:59Baddies.
13:00Us.
13:00Goodies.
13:01What's a merit?
13:04Thank you, Edgar.
13:06We'll take it from here.
13:07My pleasure, Whisper.
13:09And Miss Jericho.
13:10Always happy to help.
13:11See you later.
13:12All deception classes are cancelled.
13:14With me?
13:15All of them.
13:15This way.
13:16Hold on.
13:17Wait a second.
13:18What do you call Whisper?
13:19Whisper Whisper?
13:20We got hacked by a Whisper.
13:22Ain't no other.
13:24For my sins, I teach cyber intrusion.
13:26I teach infiltration.
13:28Sorry, just to be clear.
13:30So, you use your skills to do right.
13:33Does that mean you work for, like, the government?
13:35It's a complex symbiosis.
13:38Officially, we don't exist.
13:40Unofficially, we've been vital to global security for almost 200 years.
13:46Come!
13:51And we just entered the fifth dimension.
13:53From twins to octopolis, bro.
13:55More like quintillion birds.
13:56Bad enough seeing you guys in one mirror.
13:58This is my own personal help.
14:01What is this?
14:02We call it the Specularium.
14:06It's a shortcut and an escape route and a vital training course to hone your spatial orientation.
14:16An elite crook needs all six senses to be on point.
14:20Why do you need an escape route?
14:21Why wouldn't we?
14:23I still don't get why we're here.
14:25Why us?
14:25The crooked complex keeps constant lookout for fresh blood.
14:30The four of you were handpicked out of thousands for your skills.
14:35Crucially, you guys only ever steal for the right reasons.
14:42This way!
14:43Time to meet the big guy.
14:51My apologies.
14:52I had hoped to welcome you in person, but you completed your tasks far sooner than expected.
14:58Caspian Lockett, your new headmaster, and of course I know fine well who you are.
15:03Caspian Lockett, your new headmaster, and you are.
15:08Caspian Lockett, your new headmaster, and you are a close one.
15:09My god, my god, my god, my god, my god, my god, my god, my god, my god.
15:09Have I been here?
15:09May I introduce Mr. Carr, our head of deception?
15:17it was you a posh bloke
15:22and you you weren't even a copper that was quite the getaway the past 24 hours has been a test
15:28happily you passed here you all are whisper and mr jericho into the armory please you let me think
15:38i was going to jail that was the idea and you stole from me you stole from me sir
15:44you set all that up uh disguise the fake cough for me we'd have done whatever it took just one
15:52thing
15:52mr locket sir we sincerely appreciate the offer but it's not exactly going to be done with the
15:57idea of us coming to a school for crims or crims gentlemen crooks naturally you will stay undercover
16:03for the rest of your lives you can't ask us to do that but then to learn the truth could
16:09be lethal
16:10we have some very dangerous enemies
16:18you're concerned about your grandmother don't be we've spoken you've done what same goes for all
16:24of you what did you tell her as far as they're concerned you're sitting an exam for saint jude's
16:28academy right now should you accept you'll tell them you've been offered a full scholarship starting
16:32at once take tonight consider carefully
16:45i don't need time to consider there's no way i can leave my grandma that's not gonna happen
16:52i'll just take my coin and go thanks for the same
16:56you disappoint me mr avery but i'm afraid you can't leave now the woods are far from safe after
17:03dark first thing tomorrow unless you change your mind i won't
17:10i don't need a calm so
17:18remind you to students in the mess please recycle all packaging and return the stolen cutlery to the kitchen
17:25silverware is not the skull double practice
17:30i know that look i was you once but trust me it's it's madhouse and it feels like home
17:37thanks but i have a home
17:41that's benelope the ultimate legacy legacy yeah you and i amigo we're married
17:47we're here for one reason and one reason only because we're fire
17:51keep telling yourself that leon but most crooks like isabella here are legacies
17:57our parents or our grandparents are here some of us go back generations
18:01seven in my case we met earlier
18:06edgar delikum this is dorian macarthur only third gen and uh you are
18:13gabriel avery a merit
18:16good for you
18:17look forward to seeing what you can do in class
18:20well i hate to disappoint you edgar
18:22i won't be sticking around sorry but you've been offered a place at crookhaven and
18:26you're gonna turn it down so you can what go back to shoplifting
18:30stealing bikes
18:34alright dorian it wasn't a joke
18:37thanks
18:38now i met you
18:40i know i've made the right decision
18:51so you then just walk straight in hand to them on a stolen platter
18:55big bunch of napole babies
18:57that's fundamentally inequitable
18:58bro we're still a part of this
19:00we get to study cyber intrusion and deception and scorduggery and at the end of it we get to
19:05be a part of a secret network that's going to make us rich
19:08you mean help defeat criminals and restore justice
19:10yeah that's it
19:12none of you guys bothered by the whole
19:13lie to your families forever thing
19:15your grandma knew you're still
19:17yeah you're joking
19:18so what's the difference
19:20that's a little why i lie on this
19:23i mean this should be a whole secret life
19:30you know where i'm taking top bunk
19:32you know where i hate heights
19:33not like i do
19:34which one of us fainted on the eiffel tower bro
19:36only cause you haven't eaten in like an hour
19:38that doesn't count
19:40hey bro
19:41i'll sell this for you
19:44iron
19:46there's yourselves
19:49sir
19:52like it's stolen it again
19:53what is it
19:54my coin
19:55what am i the only one who keeps robbing
19:56what the phone
19:59you're saying
20:01the thing you came all this way for
20:04risked your life for
20:06was a coin
20:07not just any coin
20:50why are you spying on me avery?
20:51i wasn't spying i was looking for...
20:53who?
20:54locket
21:22locket
21:23why?
21:23do you have any idea how lucky you are to be here?
21:27and you're just going to throw it away?
21:30it's so ungrateful
21:33so ignorant
21:35what they even see in you
21:38not bad
21:39not bad
21:39to be fair
21:43but there's something off
21:45i just can't quite put my...
21:47thanks but i need a critique from someone like you
21:52word of warning don't go marching up to locket office
21:55it won't end well for you
21:57thanks but
21:58i don't need advice from someone like you
22:07it's the eyes that are greener than that one
22:13you
22:14well
22:16you
22:34you
22:35you
22:36you
22:39you
22:41you
22:41you
22:43Evening, Mr. Ray Reed.
22:49What do you want with me?
22:51The first time was to get you here, the second time to keep you here.
22:55I already told you, I can't.
22:57How is stealing my coin going to change my...
22:59By showing how much you have to learn.
23:03I don't know what I need to.
23:04You're a blunt instrument.
23:06You didn't pause to consider why I had taken your coin, or the smartest way to retrieve it.
23:10You just went stomping blindly through the school like a man possessed, telegraphing your weakness.
23:14What weakness?
23:15You see everyone as a threat.
23:19You're a dodgy, posh bloke.
23:20He likes blackmailing kids.
23:23You are a threat.
23:27Coin, please, sir.
23:29I'm not here to threaten you, Gabriel.
23:32I'm here to save you.
23:35Save me from what?
23:37I can't bear to see talent go to waste.
23:39It would be a tragedy for you to spend the rest of your life as a petty criminal.
23:43What, when I could come here and be a professional criminal?
23:47Not a criminal, Avery.
23:48A crook.
23:49They steal, we restore.
23:50They destroy, we repair.
23:51We'll give you the skills to beat criminals at their own game.
23:54Right now, you're good.
23:55With our help, you could be great.
23:58Or, you could go back to being a nobody.
24:01You don't know what my life is.
24:03On the contrary, I know everything about you, right down to how much vinegar you like on
24:08your chips.
24:08Far too much, in my opinion.
24:11I know you have a deep sense of right and wrong, and I know that you long to save your
24:14grandmother from those despicable Merciers.
24:17But tell me this.
24:18How many pockets would you have to pick to buy that caravan by the sea?
24:21How much help would you be in a young offenders' institute?
24:23Because the next time you're arrested, it won't be Mr. Khan.
24:30My coin.
24:32Now.
24:36Please.
24:43Well, I see I'm not going to change your mind.
24:47Perhaps you should call her.
24:50She'll be worried.
25:08Good boy, sir.
25:16Why didn't you mention this in Jude's place?
25:20How happened so fast?
25:21I didn't have time to explain.
25:23Well, no, you don't have to.
25:24Mr. Lockett came to see me.
25:27Told me everything.
25:29How he persuaded the police not to press charges, how he runs a school that turns kids' lives
25:33around.
25:34No, that's not true.
25:36Oh, enough, Gabriel.
25:38No more lies.
25:39You found the box in your cupboard.
25:42Eight hundred quid.
25:44A stolen money.
25:45And to think that I fell for all that stuff about scratch cards.
25:47You must think I'm so stupid.
25:49No.
25:49No, I just wanted to help.
25:51Help?
25:51This could ruin everything.
25:53Grandma, listen.
25:54No.
25:55You will listen.
25:56You're the one good thing that's happened to me.
25:59The last thing I want is to see you go into some boarding school.
26:02But they offer you a place.
26:03Then you take it.
26:05For your future's sake.
26:06And what about your future?
26:12Today's crooked value is cheating.
26:15Remember, cheat, but never cheat your friends.
26:17Gabriel, wait up.
26:21You were serious, then, about leaving?
26:23I thought maybe it was a bluff for Edgar's benefit.
26:28I promised my grandmother I'd never steal again.
26:33She begged me to stay here.
26:35But staying here means lying to steal.
26:37Lying to her.
26:38This is Crookhaven, amigo.
26:41Nothing's as simple as right or wrong.
26:44Here you go, see?
26:47What is not the frighten, huh?
26:48There you go, Amir.
26:50Back on solid ground.
26:52Best of luck now.
26:54You keep that chin up.
26:56Go on.
26:56It's time to watch the baby crooklings embarrass themselves.
26:59What's she mean?
27:00Oh, the Crooked Oakhead.
27:01Trust me, you don't want to miss this.
27:03You can get the boat later if you still want to leave.
27:14Don't you want sticking around?
27:16I've made up my mind.
27:17Well, you'd better decide soon.
27:18Because once your arrow hits the oak,
27:21there's no going back.
27:23For what it's worth,
27:25I really hope you stay.
27:28You've got so close, you're right?
27:34Look.
27:34Look, isn't that a mirror to one?
27:36When did she arrive?
27:38Do you know?
27:39Never thought she had the nerve to show her face.
27:42Her brother is a traitor.
27:43Shock him.
27:44Crooklings!
27:46My name is Mr. Velázquez.
27:48It's my honor to teach Skullduggery.
27:50You stand where I once stood
27:53at the start of a long and crooked path.
27:56Once you become crooklings,
27:58you will be bound by our sacred values.
28:02Steal!
28:03But not from those in need.
28:05Cheat!
28:06But never cheat your friends.
28:09Lie!
28:10But never to yourself.
28:13From this moment,
28:14you are all in competition for this.
28:17The Crooked Cup.
28:19A chance to have your name engraved
28:21beside the greatest crooks in history.
28:26For a young crook there is no higher honor.
28:28No greater way to renounce yourself as a talent to be ready.
28:31Every Delacoon has won it since 1910.
28:34Dad's had been practicing five years for this.
28:36I won't let him down.
28:37It's yours to be, Zedgar.
28:38Last holidays,
28:39I helped put some bad people away.
28:41Never known a feeling like it.
28:43To this day,
28:45each new crookling
28:47accepts their place
28:48by firing
28:50a silver-tipped arrow
28:53with your name
28:55inscribed upon it.
28:57How are we supposed to bust out some
28:58mad-out tree skills?
29:00The motive governs the means, Gabriel.
29:03It's not about...
29:04It's not about what you do.
29:07It's about why.
29:08And whoever comes closest
29:10to hitting
29:11Ezekiel's original arrowhead
29:13will win themselves
29:14five fucking points.
29:17But
29:18Because we are a soft touch,
29:20we will allow you
29:21the best of two.
29:22So,
29:23crooklings,
29:25step forward
29:25and collect your arrow.
29:28Good luck.
29:30May your aim
29:31be true.
29:36I want you to know
29:37your name is poison
29:38and your presence is an insult.
29:41Yes, and you're Edgar Delacoon.
29:43They warned me about you.
29:46They were right to.
29:48Made the decision yet?
29:50Guess.
29:56Oh dear!
29:58Wrong tree,
29:59Mr. Okoro.
30:01After that
30:02shockingly poor start,
30:05let's hope
30:05the next two crooklings
30:07fare better.
30:08Hey!
30:09At least we hit a tree.
30:10Our next two crooklings
30:13are...
30:14Penelope Lockett.
30:16Lockett?
30:17As in?
30:18As in?
30:19The headmaster's daughter.
30:20And
30:22Gabriel Avery.
30:23So,
30:24we have a merit
30:25versus a legacy.
30:26I thought we could eat.
30:27Raw talent
30:28needs nurturing,
30:29Diego.
30:29This is the best place
30:30for him.
30:31Let's be honest.
30:32If you're against me,
30:34the merit
30:34doesn't stand a chance.
30:35Neither do you, Edgar.
30:37Please,
30:37step forward.
30:43Ever held a bow before?
30:44How hard can it be?
30:49Make me proud.
30:50When have I not?
31:05Penelope,
31:06please retrieve your arrow.
31:10She's good.
31:12I'm better.
31:22Let's go.
31:25Oh
32:02How hard can it be?
32:06Our next two crooklings are Edgar Delacool and Gia Wu.
32:23Should I tell you how to hold it?
32:25No, I'll figure it out.
32:37I'm Chinese doofus.
32:39Archery's in my DNA.
32:40Brava, Gia.
32:42A remarkable first shot, especially for a merit.
32:46Little wide.
32:47That's the breeze.
32:48I'll recalibrate.
32:50You can't get beat by a medic.
33:08You can't get beat by a medic.
33:25What the hell, Duan?
33:26You were aiming right at her.
33:27I was lining up the target.
33:29You made me shoot when you barged into me.
33:30You didn't ever shoot someone on purpose.
33:32I guess the rumors about you are true.
33:34You are no legacy.
33:36Arrow.
33:37Bring me Gia's arrow.
33:38Stay real.
33:42Move!
33:43Move!
33:48Okay, look at me.
33:49Look at me.
33:50Look at me.
33:50You okay?
33:52You okay?
33:52You okay?
33:52You sure?
33:53We'll do okay.
33:57I'm afraid after that unedifying spectacle, Amira has forfeited her turn.
34:02Interfering with another truckling shot is strictly forbidden.
34:05I mean, you can't be serious.
34:07Delacoon's warning should be disqualified.
34:09He tried to shoot Gia.
34:11Amira's the one who saved her.
34:12Hey, don't be a bad sport, Gabriel.
34:14Just because your arrow barely hit the tree.
34:17It was an accident.
34:19DeJuan knocked into me.
34:41I believe our winner is Edgar Delacone.
34:44I wouldn't be so sure.
34:48You mean?
34:49Do you check the name on the arrow before you fired him?
34:57Mr. Lockett, sir, you can't...
35:12The name on the arrow is...
35:15Gabriel Avery.
35:19I want you to know your name is poison.
35:21And your presence is an insult.
35:24I'm guessing you're Edgar Delacone.
35:26They warned me about you.
35:29The master.
35:33The rules state the arrow closest to the mark wins.
35:38This arrow has Gabriel Avery's name on it.
35:47Don't be a bad sport, Edgar.
35:50Just because your arrow barely hit the tree.
35:51That's not fair.
35:52He's making a mockery out of the crooked oak.
35:54How can you let him do this?
35:55He beat you.
35:56Deal with it.
36:02Oh, I'll deal with it.
36:06So you stay here?
36:09Looks that way.
36:11All it took was me almost getting shot.
36:19Good night, Brookhaven.
36:21Sweet dreams.
36:59Good night, Brookhaven.
37:02The start of the year begins, Caspian.
37:04Another class of eager young crooklings to brainwash.
37:07But, a word to the wise, there's a storm coming, a storm you can't escape, and you only have yourself
37:20to blame.
37:22So that's how it all began. I picked his pocket, he picked mine.
37:27I went to get my lucky coin back, and next thing I knew, I was a crookling.
37:33New tie, new jacket, new life.
37:40It felt like, maybe my lucky coin had finally brought me some real luck.
37:45Except of course it wasn't luck that brought me here, was it?
37:49It was Caspian Lockett.
37:52And when your headmaster and everyone in your school is a crook, the first lesson you learn...
38:02Trust no one.
38:06Where has Caspian started?
38:08You're not one of us. You don't belong here.
38:10I have to utterly humiliate him.
38:12I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to win.
38:14Game on.
38:15There's a storm coming.
38:19The Nameless.
38:21What's the Nameless?
38:22An enemy that hates everything Crookhaven stands for.
38:25You put the entire crooked network in danger.
38:28Gabriel, get out!
38:30They already have our blood on their hands, and they'll burn this place to the ground.
38:34Listen up, losers. We need your help.
38:36Crooklings, assemble!
38:38Leaving so soon.
38:41I thought I was here because I was good.
38:43This is Crookhaven. Everyone's hiding something.
38:49Ah!
38:50I did not deal with this.
38:51Pay attention, can't he?
38:52He's feeling for my mom.
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