- 4 days ago
Very moving, very original and disturbing film with a great cast and a wonderful script, starring David Warner, David Jason, Michael Jayston, Judith Hoersch. Terminally ill Albert summons old war buddies Frank and Harry to his hospital bed with a bizarre request. When he dies, he wants them to snatch his corpse from the hospital morgue and drive it, in Harry's taxi, to Germany, where they all met, for burial. Thanks to Frank's ingenuity they get the body past Customs but almost lose it in France, recovering it thanks to Vicki, a German hitch-hiker that they pick up. Their good deed is in part atonement. Directed by David Richards.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:00:36I don't know.
00:01:00I don't know.
00:01:35I don't know.
00:02:00I don't know.
00:02:27I don't know.
00:02:47I don't know.
00:02:49I don't know.
00:02:51Please, God, not in a hospital.
00:02:54What do you mean, if?
00:03:01Donkey!
00:03:03Hello, Frank.
00:03:06Harry?
00:03:09Excuse me.
00:03:12It's not lit.
00:03:13I don't care.
00:03:14Carry on, nurse.
00:03:16I just need a receipt for that.
00:03:19You made it, then.
00:03:20I made it.
00:03:21Of course we made it.
00:03:22You know joy.
00:03:23Yes.
00:03:24Yeah, of course.
00:03:25Must be 15 years.
00:03:2819.
00:03:2919?
00:03:29Oh, well.
00:03:30Well, if you'll excuse me.
00:03:31There's lots to sort.
00:03:33I'll see you in a bit, love.
00:03:36Bye.
00:03:38Bye.
00:03:40Tower of strength, eh?
00:03:41Yeah.
00:03:43The light of your life.
00:03:44You can't stand at neither of you.
00:03:47Yeah, well, she's died it.
00:03:50Anyway, it's all in the past.
00:03:51It's all dead and buried, as they say.
00:03:57But, uh, oh.
00:04:00Yeah, that's like the, you know, the one the girl, the one that she had.
00:04:08Yes, it is.
00:04:19I wanted to have a word with the two of you.
00:04:22Alone.
00:04:23The thing is, well, she wants to have me cremated.
00:04:28Nothing wrong with that?
00:04:30Hendon.
00:04:30Well, what's wrong with Hendon, if, you know, we must talk about it?
00:04:35Nothing.
00:04:36I just don't want to be cremated.
00:04:38Never have.
00:04:38You want to be buried?
00:04:40Yeah.
00:04:41Tell her that.
00:04:41I have.
00:04:42All the time.
00:04:44She just cries.
00:04:45It's your funeral.
00:04:47Yeah, well, what do you want us to do about it?
00:04:49I want you two to do it.
00:04:51Well, bury you.
00:04:52Yeah.
00:04:53You want us to bury you.
00:04:57Yeah.
00:04:57When you're dead.
00:04:58Do I look stupid?
00:05:00Don't tell me.
00:05:00Let me guess.
00:05:04East Ham.
00:05:05Hinderberg.
00:05:09Hinderberg?
00:05:09You want us to cart you all the way back to Germany?
00:05:13Yes.
00:05:14We three, we're oppos.
00:05:17Right.
00:05:19Something happened there.
00:05:21Something important.
00:05:24Something that changed our lives.
00:05:27Remember?
00:05:30The rest is just, well, a load of bollocks.
00:05:33Yeah, he's asking a hell of a lot.
00:05:34I know.
00:05:35I know.
00:05:36But I'm doing you a favour.
00:05:38Doing us a favour?
00:05:39I need to go back.
00:05:41I need to go back.
00:05:41You need to go back.
00:05:43To remember what happened.
00:05:45We all do.
00:05:47Before it's too late.
00:05:49Well, you'll be dead.
00:05:50I mean, you know, dead people don't remember things.
00:05:54Well, not as a rule.
00:05:55No.
00:05:56Then you'll just have to do it for me, won't you?
00:05:59You'll have to steal me, of course.
00:06:01My corpse.
00:06:02She'd never give permission.
00:06:05Shouldn't be too hard.
00:06:06Past the kitchens.
00:06:08Third on the left.
00:06:10The mortuary.
00:06:11I've drawn a map.
00:06:16In the cupboard.
00:06:18Under the magazine.
00:06:22And the book.
00:06:37I was going to leave it to you anyway.
00:06:40I shan't exactly be needing it, will I?
00:06:45Seventy bloody six.
00:06:47And what have I got to show for it?
00:06:49Bugger all.
00:06:51A few words.
00:06:52A few faces.
00:06:54If someone was to say to me,
00:06:57When were you ever really alive?
00:07:00Do you know what I'd say?
00:07:02Once.
00:07:04Sodding once.
00:07:07April.
00:07:091945.
00:07:11That little hill.
00:07:14Standing there.
00:07:16The Russians.
00:07:18Coming to meet us.
00:07:20Everything.
00:07:21Complete.
00:07:23Us three.
00:07:24Right at the bloody heart of things.
00:07:27And then what?
00:07:30It all.
00:07:32Vanish.
00:07:42Just like that.
00:07:45And we haven't had the guts to deal with it since.
00:07:48Eh?
00:07:50This is our last chance.
00:07:55Embalming.
00:07:58I stole it from the library.
00:08:00Where are we?
00:08:13What did we have about to say?
00:08:28All right.
00:08:28What are we having to bring over?
00:08:32The time is in, so get out of here and find some
00:08:35The stress is high, so it's in the middle class
00:08:39Giving it good, so it's not me, I can't do it
00:08:43The stress is high, so I'm nearly forget
00:08:46I said, uh-uh-uh-uh
00:08:51Yes?
00:08:53Huh?
00:08:55Just a minute
00:08:56Grande!
00:08:59Randy!
00:09:02Boat!
00:09:03Yes, I'm coming
00:09:05Bloody hell
00:09:07Water fuse, that bloody thing
00:09:11Right, thank you
00:09:12Yes, my love
00:09:18Oh
00:09:20Right
00:09:22Thank you
00:09:46He wasn't himself
00:09:50I mean, people say the strangest things when they're done
00:09:54All that stuff about us needing to go back
00:09:57And how we've never, you know
00:10:01Talked
00:10:02Yeah, exactly
00:10:05Is that how you feel?
00:10:08Maybe
00:10:10Well, it's all right for him, because he's dead
00:10:13No, no, no
00:10:15Too old for adventure, mate
00:10:17We gave our word, we promised
00:10:19I know, I know
00:10:21Not much left if you go back on your word
00:10:24Anyway, he gave us a pile of money and we took him
00:10:28Yeah
00:10:30It's against my license to carry a corpse
00:10:33Or a rabid dog, I can't think of it
00:10:36Fine, I'll order a minicab
00:10:38All right, all right
00:10:39But if they catch us, they'll certify us
00:10:41All right?
00:10:42How would you like to spend the rest of your life in a padded cell?
00:10:45No problem
00:10:47Just so long as it isn't with you
00:10:51Right
00:10:53Yes
00:10:54I will
00:10:55Bye
00:10:58They moved him
00:10:59Who?
00:11:01Albert
00:11:02That was Joy
00:11:03Oh, well, that's it then, isn't it?
00:11:05It's out of our hands
00:11:06No, it isn't
00:11:07We know where he is
00:11:10Where?
00:11:11Fraser, Unwin and Kellogg
00:11:14Undertakers
00:11:18I'm not convinced about all this
00:11:20I really am not
00:11:22Fine, piss off whenever you want
00:11:23Well, let you do it on your own
00:11:26You'd never make it
00:12:01Easy
00:12:02Easy
00:12:13Hmm
00:12:16Shh
00:12:17Sorry
00:12:19Sorry
00:12:34Psst! He's in here. He's in here.
00:12:37No need to whisper. He's dead, not resting.
00:12:40It's just out of respect.
00:12:45Look, looks almost human, doesn't he?
00:12:47Come on, we haven't got all night.
00:12:48You're right.
00:12:51Is it going to be strong enough?
00:12:53Just pick it up.
00:12:54It's a bloody cardboard box.
00:12:57That's typical of joy, that is, isn't it?
00:12:59Can we talk about this later?
00:13:00Yes, yes, I won't.
00:13:08Oh, come on.
00:13:11You look where you're going.
00:13:14Blimey, you'll wake the day.
00:13:18It was the ancient Egyptians who perfected it.
00:13:23What?
00:13:24The art of embalming.
00:13:27They extracted the brains through the nasal cavity.
00:13:32You don't say.
00:13:33Hmm.
00:13:35Syringe, hmm?
00:13:37Oh, all right.
00:13:38Okay, okay, all right.
00:13:41Syringe.
00:13:43Needle.
00:13:44Needle.
00:13:48Do you think all of this is totally necessary?
00:13:51You're the expert.
00:13:52You tell me.
00:13:53Is this going to be big enough?
00:13:54It's all I had.
00:13:56Come on, let's get on with it.
00:13:58All right.
00:13:59Hmm.
00:14:01Slight incision to the left median.
00:14:05The hell's the left median?
00:14:06Well, how do I know?
00:14:07I haven't done this before, have I?
00:14:18Do you mind I'm trying to operate down here?
00:14:22There's no need.
00:14:23He's embalmed already.
00:14:31You're off somewhere?
00:14:32Yeah.
00:14:34Somewhere nice?
00:14:36Allotment.
00:14:39And?
00:14:41Margaret, probably.
00:14:43You've got yourself a fancy woman down there, have you?
00:14:45Well, ah, ah, very fun.
00:14:48What about the funeral?
00:14:49No, I hate funerals, always have.
00:14:52But he'd expect you.
00:14:53Well, he's dead.
00:14:56He's past expecting.
00:14:58Don't forget this, Randy.
00:15:00Thank you very much, chicken.
00:15:02Bless you.
00:15:03What about your appointment with the eye specialist?
00:15:05I'll go later.
00:15:06What do you mean, later?
00:15:07It was this afternoon, Grandad.
00:15:09Grandad?
00:15:25I'll be on to the police.
00:15:28Puffins don't just go walk about.
00:15:33They're bound to have traced us by now.
00:15:36I mean, it's not rocket science, is it?
00:15:46Customs?
00:15:48What about customs?
00:15:49They're looking for drugs and illegal immigrants,
00:15:52not a couple of old farts like us.
00:15:54We're invisible, you and me.
00:15:57That's about the only thing we've got going for us.
00:16:11Look at that.
00:16:12They're only searching his roof box.
00:16:15Look.
00:16:16OK, this way, sir.
00:16:21Oh, what now?
00:16:23Lunch.
00:16:24Hm?
00:16:39Oh, what now?
00:16:54Very clever.
00:16:57What is it?
00:16:59Grandfather clock.
00:17:01Going where?
00:17:02Hinderberg near Berlin.
00:17:03I'm not down for Berlin.
00:17:05No.
00:17:07Careful!
00:17:08No, Prague.
00:17:10Fine.
00:17:14Here?
00:17:27Is that the one?
00:17:29Probably.
00:17:30It's blue.
00:17:35Or is that the one?
00:17:36It's blue.
00:17:41Or is that the one?
00:17:52Anyway, where was it going?
00:17:53Dunkirk.
00:17:55Funny, that.
00:17:56I mean, after that, though.
00:17:58Prague.
00:18:00Oh, fantastic.
00:18:03You've sorted that out brilliantly, haven't you?
00:18:06You're a genius.
00:18:08Prague.
00:18:10Oh.
00:18:11phi?
00:18:11Okay.
00:18:32Let's go.
00:18:36Oh, God.
00:18:49That's it. That's the one.
00:18:52You sure?
00:18:54Positive.
00:18:55He's getting away.
00:18:57I can see that.
00:18:58You're not going to do something.
00:19:00Like what?
00:19:04He's heading east, so presumably he'll take the motorway.
00:19:07Well, get me to the motorway, then.
00:19:09It should be too hard, even for a confirmed after.
00:19:16There are no signs. I don't know which is the right road.
00:19:19Oh, they must be on there somewhere.
00:19:21Okay, smartass. Have a look for yourself.
00:19:24Well, it is a brand new and direction, mate.
00:19:27Grunt.
00:19:30Stunned me. Never mind.
00:19:32Yeah, and you're good.
00:19:37I forgot my drive on the wrong side of the road.
00:19:39I told you, but you wouldn't listen.
00:19:41Yeah. Something else I've forgotten.
00:19:43What?
00:19:44You're always bloody right.
00:19:48Anyway, we're probably following the wrong lorry.
00:19:51No, we're not.
00:19:52You want a bit?
00:19:53Fine.
00:19:54All right, a fiver.
00:19:55Done.
00:19:56You're on.
00:19:57Have you found out where we are yet?
00:19:58If you'd just stop yakking for a minute, maybe I could concentrate.
00:20:02All right, all right.
00:20:04Mr. Neddy No More.
00:20:13What are you doing?
00:20:14What does it look like?
00:20:16You can't do that.
00:20:17Well, of course I can.
00:20:19It's my cab. Free country.
00:20:21Thanks to us.
00:20:25Hello, my love.
00:20:27Hello.
00:20:27Where are you going?
00:20:29Where are you going?
00:20:30Germany.
00:20:34That's fine.
00:20:35All right. Hop in.
00:20:36Thanks.
00:20:45I'm Vicky.
00:20:47Frank.
00:20:49That's Harry.
00:20:51Hello.
00:20:58Are you German?
00:21:00Yes.
00:21:02Isn't that a problem?
00:21:03No, no.
00:21:05You're not some sort of pop star, are you?
00:21:07No.
00:21:08Model?
00:21:09No.
00:21:11Are you any good with maps?
00:21:13Sure.
00:21:14Where are you going?
00:21:17Hendon.
00:21:18Near Berlin.
00:21:20We need to find the motorway to Prague first.
00:21:22Prague?
00:21:23Why?
00:21:24No reason.
00:21:26Just, you know, curious.
00:21:52Are we late?
00:21:54No, not at all.
00:21:54What?
00:21:55You seem to be driving a bit fast.
00:21:57Sorry, it's keen to get there.
00:21:58Hard to drive in the dark.
00:22:00Age.
00:22:01You're following that truck, right?
00:22:03What truck?
00:22:04That one.
00:22:05No, we're not.
00:22:06Anyway, that's a lorry, not a truck.
00:22:08What does it matter?
00:22:09I apologise.
00:22:15Why don't you stop here then and let it go?
00:22:18Don't be daft.
00:22:19I can't stop here, can I?
00:22:20It's dangerous.
00:22:21So is telling lies.
00:22:48I've been this way before.
00:22:53That's two.
00:22:55Old hands.
00:22:56Through here like a dose of silence.
00:23:02It's me.
00:23:03It's him.
00:23:04Our friend Albert.
00:23:08Such a handsome young man.
00:23:17The wall.
00:23:18She's bright, you know.
00:23:20Gotta watch her.
00:23:21My worst favourite subject.
00:23:23What's that?
00:23:24History.
00:23:25What, someone like you?
00:23:27I can't believe you've got a worst favourite subject.
00:23:30You know why she can't stand history?
00:23:32You know why's that?
00:23:33Because that's what we are.
00:23:35You and me.
00:23:36History.
00:23:38Past it.
00:23:46Dan.
00:23:47Dan.
00:23:49Dan.
00:23:52I can't see it coming.
00:23:53I didn't see it.
00:23:54It just went like it just turned like that.
00:23:56Frank, where's the next turn off?
00:23:58There isn't another one for miles.
00:23:59God knows where you end up now.
00:24:09God knows where you end up now.
00:24:32Bloody stupid.
00:24:35We've lost the lorry, lost donkey.
00:24:38Lost any idea of why we're doing this.
00:24:42They'll find him. They'll find him, and then what?
00:24:45You finished.
00:24:47Interpol. What's the betting?
00:24:49Joy will have phoned them. They'll be after us.
00:24:52Always the same, isn't it? Pathetic.
00:24:54Moan, complain, moan, complain.
00:24:57If Donk was here, he'd have sorted you out good and proper.
00:24:59Yeah, well, he's not, is he? He's never going to be.
00:25:04We should never have left. Bloody stupid.
00:25:08Didn't have to come.
00:25:09We should just turn round and go right back.
00:25:12Run away, you mean?
00:25:14You're the sodding one who ran, not me.
00:25:16You don't know what you're talking about. Never did.
00:25:19I was not running away.
00:25:21Is that understood?
00:25:24I said, is that understood?
00:25:28Yeah.
00:25:33What were you doing, then?
00:25:35What?
00:25:37I said, what were you doing, then?
00:25:43I was...
00:25:46running...
00:25:48towards.
00:25:52Towards.
00:25:52Towards what?
00:26:08Everything.
00:26:29Oh! Oh, for me. Thank you.
00:26:31For both.
00:26:34My nights with, um, what do you say?
00:26:40Shining armor?
00:26:42Yes.
00:26:44Where did you get these?
00:26:56Makes you think, doesn't it?
00:27:08Look, there it is. Come on! Come on!
00:27:15Hurry!
00:27:21Come on!
00:27:24Come on!
00:27:29Come on!
00:27:30Come on!
00:27:31Stay!
00:27:32Hurry up or we lose them!
00:27:35Hold tight!
00:27:36Okay?
00:27:37All right, Wayne.
00:27:58We've got two old HPs in the back here, love.
00:28:01Fun, isn't it?
00:28:03Who said she could drive?
00:28:17Close your eyes!
00:28:21Oh!
00:28:22Bloody hell!
00:28:32Oh, thank you.
00:28:36Oh, bloody hell!
00:28:41Where did you learn to drive like that?
00:28:43The bloody 7th Tampa Division!
00:29:04I told you so, didn't I?
00:29:06What?
00:29:07It's only going to keep out there.
00:29:09The lorry driver?
00:29:11Yeah.
00:29:12Maybe I can help.
00:29:13No!
00:29:14You need something from that lorry.
00:29:16Yes.
00:29:17Oh!
00:29:21What are you doing?
00:29:22I'm trying to get Sky Sports.
00:29:24I can watch the Charlton game.
00:29:26Come on.
00:29:27Let me help you.
00:29:28No!
00:29:29Why not?
00:29:30What?
00:29:30Because, look, it's dark out there.
00:29:33And we wouldn't forgive ourselves if, if, um, you know, if anything, you know.
00:29:38And anyway, there's no place for a, for a young, you know...
00:29:41Young woman.
00:29:42Exactly.
00:29:43You mean it would be safer for two old men who don't speak the language or understand the customs?
00:29:50We couldn't go after ourselves.
00:29:51Yeah.
00:29:52We've managed so far, haven't we?
00:29:53I know.
00:29:54My knights with shining armour.
00:29:57So, let's go.
00:30:06Hallo?
00:30:09Hallo?
00:30:14Hallo?
00:30:20Haben Sie meinen Hund gesehen?
00:30:22What?
00:30:23I have you, uh, seal.
00:30:24Wuff, wuff, wuff!
00:30:27Mein Hund!
00:30:30Helmut!
00:30:31My, uh, dog!
00:30:33Please!
00:30:37Helmut!
00:30:41Helmut!
00:30:42Helmut!
00:30:44Helmut!
00:30:47Helmut!
00:30:48Hallo?
00:30:48Hi.
00:31:09You should make them here.
00:31:11No.
00:31:12Oh, yeah.
00:31:13I live here up.
00:31:17Yeah?
00:31:19No.
00:31:19No, no.
00:31:27What's this from?
00:31:36She'd do it, do you think?
00:31:37Who cares?
00:31:44There you are.
00:31:47That's no place for a young girl to be, is it?
00:31:50She reads maps, picks pockets, drives like Fanjo,
00:31:53she can look after herself.
00:32:10What?
00:32:11What?
00:32:13Thank you, thank you.
00:32:14Thank you, bye.
00:32:18Did you fall?
00:32:22Certainly not.
00:32:25How long's it supposed to last, embalming?
00:32:30I've got no idea.
00:32:31What did the Egyptians say about it?
00:32:33I don't know, I never got to that bit.
00:32:39It's crazy, isn't it?
00:32:40What?
00:32:41Well, everything.
00:32:43Yeah.
00:32:45Why are we doing this, eh?
00:32:47Eh?
00:32:48Give me one good reason.
00:32:53Because it's fun.
00:33:04She's coming.
00:33:06She's coming.
00:33:07Hurry up.
00:33:09Hurry up, boy.
00:33:11Hurry.
00:33:16is that it yes we were worried about you well at least I was I can look after myself yeah
00:33:25yes of course well what happened with the lorry driver yeah we had sex
00:33:37only joking we're too over those sort of jokes we are speak for yourself I told him I had um
00:33:44what do
00:33:44you call it the cap charming Vicky you haven't really got it though have you
00:34:04what you know the clap no of course not I told you
00:34:15may I ask you something perhaps yeah all right far away what's in the box
00:34:26what do you think is in the box a dead body
00:34:52just checking
00:34:57who was he that's Albert the friend we told you about you killed him
00:35:07just died we promised to bury him near Berlin the place
00:35:16ancient history my least favorite subject
00:35:33it's not how I remember it what Germany still foreign but not in the same way
00:35:42well anyway I wouldn't let a daughter of mine hitchhike across Europe on her own
00:35:47what do you mean daughter you're old enough to be her grandfather
00:35:51still allowed to be responsible for her and I
00:35:55where's she trying to get to
00:35:57I have no idea you didn't ask her
00:36:00no I thought you had
00:36:01no we're lumbered with her whatever and she knows about Albert
00:36:05oh yeah that's true one word to the police or up the proverbial
00:36:09oh yeah maybe I shouldn't have picked her up in the first place
00:36:13too late he cried too late
00:36:16yeah I mean we don't know anything about her do we
00:36:19we don't know where she lives where she's going
00:36:21why she's going along with all of this
00:36:24I mean she could be anything
00:36:27drug dealer
00:36:29that's right
00:36:30bank rubber
00:36:30well you never know
00:36:35anyway we should inquire
00:36:37yes
00:36:37straight up no beating about the bush
00:36:40no
00:36:41ready
00:36:42yes
00:36:45ready
00:36:45up we go
00:36:47I think he's putting on weight
00:36:55how come I was getting a heavy end
00:36:58wait a minute
00:36:59wait a minute
00:37:00what
00:37:00passport
00:37:01yes
00:37:02money
00:37:02yes
00:37:03false teeth
00:37:05look I just
00:37:06get on with it
00:37:07oh dear
00:37:09oh
00:37:15it's a tight hold of this
00:37:17ow
00:37:18oh
00:37:20oh
00:37:23alright
00:37:23get up to me
00:37:24hey
00:37:26alright
00:37:27this is the tricky bit
00:37:30wait a minute
00:37:35thank you
00:37:36thank you
00:37:36I'll keep you a moment sir
00:37:38alright
00:37:38go on
00:37:41don't get up madam
00:37:42no
00:37:43thank you
00:37:44you haven't even done
00:37:46that's it
00:37:46go on we can get down there now
00:37:50oh
00:37:51go on turn
00:38:13this is a sort of traditional German restaurant thing is it
00:38:17yeah very traditional
00:38:19and the food
00:38:20the food is the sort of food that you would have at home is it
00:38:23sometimes it depends
00:38:25where would that be
00:38:26what home
00:38:28hmm
00:38:28not far from Berlin why
00:38:30oh is that where you are going now
00:38:32is it
00:38:33maybe
00:38:35is this some sort of interrogation
00:38:38no no no no
00:38:40it feels a little like it
00:38:41sorry
00:38:42sorry sorry
00:38:43I didn't mean to be
00:38:46ah
00:38:46oh look
00:38:49salad
00:38:49thank you
00:39:05does it frighten you
00:39:07hmm what
00:39:09growing old
00:39:10dying
00:39:12things like that
00:39:14no not really
00:39:15why
00:39:16no reason
00:39:19there's not much you can do about it is there really
00:39:21I mean
00:39:22happens to everyone eventually
00:39:24even you
00:39:27it's okay
00:39:27so long as you're well
00:39:29yeah exactly
00:39:32do you think he's well
00:39:34no Frank
00:39:35yeah
00:39:36him he's fit as a flea
00:39:38apart from
00:39:39he's got a bit of the old
00:39:40you know
00:39:40indigestion
00:39:41like Albert
00:39:44oh Albert no he didn't have any indigestion
00:39:46no he
00:39:47his was more
00:39:48um
00:39:49you know
00:39:51serious
00:39:51yeah
00:39:52yeah serious
00:39:53yeah
00:39:54you're a strange man
00:39:56really
00:39:57why
00:39:58always avoiding
00:40:00never looking at the future
00:40:01trying not to talk about the past
00:40:04hmm
00:40:07what's our point is it
00:40:09I mean you know
00:40:10you
00:40:11can't change anything
00:40:14keep going
00:40:15keep going you know
00:40:15keep going that's the thing
00:40:18innit
00:40:18keep going
00:40:19yes
00:40:24do you think maybe he's gay
00:40:25who
00:40:26Albert
00:40:27oh
00:40:28oh Frank
00:40:29no no of course he's not
00:40:30no don't be silly
00:40:31he loves women
00:40:32he does always has done
00:40:35horses more perhaps
00:40:36you can be gay and still love women
00:40:38of course
00:40:39of course
00:40:39but
00:40:39I know a poof when I see one
00:40:42and he's not a poof Frank
00:40:44not in a million years
00:40:45voilá
00:41:14voilá
00:41:15a half mate will get ten years for this
00:41:17will you answer the damn phone
00:41:22next
00:41:22new message
00:41:23Frank I want you to bring Albert back now
00:41:26you're nothing but a pair of body snatchers
00:41:29message deleted
00:41:30all right
00:41:41that's fine
00:41:42use, a lot going along
00:41:44great
00:41:46oh
00:41:47did
00:41:52Yes.
00:41:53Right.
00:41:54Yes.
00:41:56Good night.
00:42:17Good night.
00:43:07Good night.
00:43:10Good night.
00:43:10Good night.
00:43:14Oh, bloody hell.
00:43:23Oh.
00:43:25What do we do now?
00:43:29Good night.
00:43:31Good night.
00:43:32Good night.
00:43:34Good night.
00:43:36Good night.
00:43:39Good night.
00:43:41Good night.
00:43:42We can get some waterproof tape and bind it up.
00:43:44Yeah.
00:43:45Do running repairs.
00:43:47You all right?
00:43:49Hi.
00:43:51You sure?
00:43:51Of course.
00:43:53Of course.
00:44:05What's the problem?
00:44:07Nothing.
00:44:09Bloody ears.
00:44:12Well, it's just that I've been thinking.
00:44:15Here we go.
00:44:16No.
00:44:18About what Albert said.
00:44:21About us not having the guts to talk about what happened.
00:44:26And it was important for us to do so.
00:44:29Well, she said more or less the same thing.
00:44:33Really?
00:44:34Mm-hmm.
00:44:39Don't you think there's something odd about her, though?
00:44:42Right?
00:44:42I mean, she's very young and beautiful and all of that.
00:44:45She never gives a straight answer, does she?
00:44:49No one gives a straight answer these days.
00:44:52I'll tell you something, beautiful or not,
00:44:55I wouldn't be 21 again for all the tea in China.
00:44:59Lawyer.
00:45:04Oh, God, what now?
00:45:17It's not going to be enough.
00:45:21Yeah, that'll be all right.
00:45:24All right.
00:45:27Mom, is that all you can do?
00:45:30Well, what about you, then?
00:45:32Me? No, I'm empty.
00:45:33What about her?
00:45:35Oh, that's charming, that is, isn't it?
00:45:37I mean, that is charming.
00:45:39Anyway, I thought you said that you could pee for England.
00:45:42On a good day, yes.
00:45:45When was this last serviced?
00:45:47Only a couple of weeks ago.
00:45:48Fine bleeding service, that was.
00:45:50Yeah, well, they don't check the radiator, do they,
00:45:52when they just do an oil change?
00:45:54Now it tells me. Pathetic.
00:45:56What do I have to do just because you can't sort yourself out,
00:46:00piss in your poxy thermos?
00:46:03All right, go on, that's it.
00:46:05Turn your back, walk away.
00:46:07Donkey was right.
00:46:09He said you'd spend the rest of your life walking away.
00:46:15I'm not walking away.
00:46:17That's what he looks like to be.
00:46:19All right, what do you want me to say, eh?
00:46:22If I hadn't gone off like that, you wouldn't have gone after me?
00:46:25If you hadn't gone after me, we wouldn't have met her.
00:46:29If we hadn't met her, none of that stuff would have happened.
00:46:33Happy now?
00:46:35Well, at least we're talking about it.
00:46:38Yes, and while we are, tell me what you did.
00:46:41What do you mean?
00:46:42Always full of talk.
00:46:45Tell me what you did.
00:46:47Did you ever fire a shot?
00:46:49I can't remember.
00:46:52Remind me.
00:46:54All right, bloody well, Will.
00:46:57Come on.
00:46:58Come on.
00:46:59Boy, you've never loved it.
00:47:00I'll show you.
00:47:00I'll tell you in life.
00:47:02I'm not sodding scared of you.
00:47:05Come on, then.
00:47:06Come on, you stupid little man.
00:47:08Come on, come on.
00:47:10Is that the best you can do?
00:47:11Yeah, I am.
00:47:12Come on.
00:47:13Stand still, you sod, and I'll sort you out once and for all.
00:47:16Try me.
00:47:16Try me.
00:47:18You pathetic little man.
00:47:19I'm bloody fed up with taking up from you all this time.
00:47:31It's all very well for you to say it was all your fault.
00:47:36But who was the one that invited her along, eh?
00:47:39That was me.
00:47:41I offered my hand, didn't I?
00:47:44It was me.
00:47:46And then in the end, then wham.
00:47:49What did I do, eh?
00:47:51I didn't lift a finger.
00:47:53None of us did.
00:47:55We need sweet F, eh?
00:47:59Don't you think I've feel guiltier 55 years?
00:48:14Come on, now.
00:48:17Come on, now.
00:48:17Come on, we're back right now, man.
00:48:18Come.
00:48:36Come on, now.
00:48:36It's all right.
00:48:37I need to go down.
00:48:37Maybe now you're kicking on Always.
00:48:37Especially, so that'd be fine.
00:48:37Mother, you go food in the house.
00:48:37To be, for me once you have a roof either,
00:48:37Now, what's the ladder well?
00:48:37How's up?
00:48:38He Gun's got to enter it.
00:48:42Let's go.
00:48:47It's so weird.
00:48:54I don't know.
00:49:24Why do you bully him?
00:49:26Because he's a wanker.
00:49:29He has a different name for you.
00:49:31I know.
00:49:35Thought you were starving.
00:49:36I am.
00:49:37He's getting cold.
00:49:38Yeah, just a take.
00:49:42He says you are running away.
00:49:44No.
00:49:44He's trite when he knows it.
00:49:47He was lost.
00:49:49Completely lost.
00:49:51We all were.
00:49:53Hell on earth.
00:49:54Is that when you met her?
00:49:57The girl?
00:50:00Who was she?
00:50:04Civilian refugee.
00:50:05German.
00:50:08She said she knew the way.
00:50:11But she didn't.
00:50:13She was lost like the rest of us.
00:50:15Wrong maps.
00:50:16Wrong ammunition.
00:50:18Wrong sodding war.
00:50:20Talk about Fred Karno's army.
00:50:22What happened to her?
00:50:27Do you really want to know?
00:50:32Of course.
00:50:35There you go.
00:50:43We were over the moon when we first met the Russians.
00:50:47It was suddenly like the war was over.
00:50:51We felt like, you know, anything could happen.
00:50:55Anything.
00:50:56We were walking on air.
00:50:59We only learned later that they'd just liberated the concentration camp in Ravensbrook.
00:51:04The stench of that place was still in their nostrils.
00:51:09Anything remotely German was fair game.
00:51:17They took her away.
00:51:20That was pretty much it.
00:51:25We buried her after they'd gone.
00:51:28It was the least we could do.
00:51:31It's too late to say sorry.
00:51:34It was too late for anything really.
00:51:41Utterly useless.
00:51:43Men.
00:51:47We didn't lift a finger.
00:51:50We just let them take her away without a fight.
00:51:53They'd have killed you.
00:51:55Maybe so. What?
00:51:56It wasn't your fault.
00:51:59Neither of you.
00:52:01It wasn't anyone's fault.
00:52:04Those things happened.
00:52:06What do you know about it, eh?
00:52:10Eh?
00:52:11Bugger all!
00:52:15Was that the sweet and sour?
00:52:17What?
00:52:17I said, was that the sweet and sour?
00:52:20Why?
00:52:21Well, Donkey ordered that.
00:52:22Matt?
00:52:25It was a mess yes.
00:52:26That's it.
00:52:34You're supposed to do it.
00:52:42You're supposed to shake it.
00:55:36You all right?
00:55:37Hmm?
00:55:38Yeah, yeah, I'm all right.
00:55:41Vicky?
00:55:44Yeah.
00:55:48Vicky?
00:55:50Vicky?
00:55:51Vicky?
00:55:54Vicky, are you all right?
00:56:06All the stuff's gone.
00:56:08There's nothing.
00:56:10Well, that's it then.
00:56:11What?
00:56:12What?
00:56:12Buggered off.
00:56:14Oh, no.
00:56:16Not another bilker.
00:56:17Easy come, easy go.
00:56:20And I thought she was different.
00:56:22You know?
00:56:23I really did.
00:56:23Yeah, they're all the same.
00:56:25Take it from me.
00:56:26Yeah.
00:56:28You know what she asked.
00:56:30What?
00:56:31She asked me if you were a closet puff.
00:56:35Really?
00:56:36What did you say?
00:56:38I said, of course she is.
00:56:39It's obvious, isn't it?
00:56:52Harry?
00:56:54What?
00:56:57Harry?
00:56:58I think we're here.
00:57:00What?
00:57:07It's where they came through the trees, Sam.
00:57:09Yes, you're right.
00:57:13Look, that'd be the farmhouse.
00:57:17You sure?
00:57:18Yeah, of course I am.
00:57:19What's the matter?
00:57:20You losing your memory?
00:57:22My memory or your eyes.
00:57:24It ain't wrong with my eyes.
00:57:25Going blind, don't you know?
00:57:29Temporarily.
00:57:30Yeah.
00:57:31No, there's still a lot of things that you can do.
00:57:33Of course.
00:57:41You bring a spade?
00:57:44Maybe.
00:57:45Who's going to start?
00:57:47Me, I suppose.
00:57:50Someone's got to show you how to do it.
00:58:08Bye-bye.
00:58:12Come here.
00:58:13No! No! No! No!
00:58:17Paper!
00:58:30There we go.
00:58:32Timed it just right.
00:58:33What?
00:58:34The last of the tea bags.
00:58:37There.
00:58:38Cheers.
00:58:38Cheers.
00:58:43Well, you were right, Donk.
00:58:46This is perfect.
00:58:48Bloody perfect.
00:58:50If you think I'm gonna dig another sodding grave, forget it.
00:59:21Oh, my God!
00:59:41Harry.
00:59:43Harry?
01:00:29You see her?
01:00:30See who?
01:00:55Sorry, sorry, sorry.
01:00:57Um...
01:00:58Sorry.
01:01:17I'm sorry.
01:01:29I'm sorry.
01:01:52I should miss him, you know.
01:01:54Now he's...
01:01:56well and truly gone.
01:01:59Yeah.
01:02:0055 sodding years and still never managed to say the important stuff.
01:02:05You're trying to reduce me to tears.
01:02:08I wouldn't dare.
01:02:17Listen.
01:02:19What?
01:02:21What?
01:02:23He's turning in his grave. He couldn't stand Charlton Athletic.
01:02:26Well, nobody's perfect.
01:02:33Hey!
01:02:34Left!
01:02:35Right!
01:02:36Right!
01:02:36Right!
01:02:38Right!
01:02:39Right!
01:02:40Right!
01:02:40Who's that?
01:02:50Yes, sir.
01:03:00Do you believe in all that afterlife sort of business?
01:03:05Never given it much thought.
01:03:07No.
01:03:08Mind you, if there is anyone up there,
01:03:10he's made a right balls of it, hasn't he?
01:03:13One way and another.
01:03:15Yeah.
01:03:16Hmm.
01:03:18I'm surprised that nobody's sued him.
01:03:22Give them time.
01:03:24Not that we've made a brilliant job of it ourselves, eh?
01:03:28All things considered.
01:03:31Come on, then. Let's go.
01:03:39All right.
01:03:42I miss her, too, in a way, you know?
01:03:45Vicky.
01:03:46Yeah.
01:03:49We have met her before, you know?
01:03:51Yes, I know.
01:04:06I should account for this.
01:04:13She was sitting right next to me when we took that.
01:04:26It makes you think, doesn't it?
01:04:29I mean, all those poppies in that field, right?
01:04:34Since when do poppies flower at this time of the year, eh?
01:04:43Do you remember what Albert said?
01:04:47He said, I'm doing you a favour.
01:04:51Of course, she was the favour.
01:04:55Vicky.
01:04:57I mean, us meeting her again and her telling us to stop feeling guilty because it wasn't
01:05:06our fault.
01:05:07You know?
01:05:08None of it.
01:05:11And do you remember what we said at the end of the war, what we would do?
01:05:17Live at full throttle.
01:05:20Yes.
01:05:22Exactly.
01:05:24And that's what we've started to do, haven't we?
01:05:27I mean, all this palaver that donkey put her through, that's what it was all about.
01:05:35Living.
01:05:40How long have you got?
01:05:44No bullshit.
01:05:47Not long.
01:05:52And you?
01:05:54Oh, well, the old minces.
01:05:57Six months.
01:05:58Maybe a year.
01:06:05Venice.
01:06:06I always want you to have a deco at Venice.
01:06:09Would you like to go to Venice?
01:06:11No.
01:06:12Oh.
01:06:14How about Vienna?
01:06:16Why Vienna?
01:06:17Spanish writing school.
01:06:20Spain.
01:06:21Yes.
01:06:22Oh, yeah, you know, they're excellent.
01:06:27Do you think she'll make it?
01:06:29Oh, the old camp.
01:06:31Yes.
01:06:32She's only got 270,000 on the clock.
01:06:35So I'll leave run in.
01:06:37A bit like us, really.
01:06:40Oh, yeah, you know.
01:06:52Oh, yeah.
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