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00:31Well, good afternoon and welcome to the Countdown Studio. It's a Friday, and if you're heading towards Port Call, you're
00:39almost certainly an Elvis Presley impersonator. Rachel, you're not going to believe this. It's the big Elvis impersonation weekend down
00:48there. 35,000. I can't believe it. 35,000 Elvis impersonators are descending on Port Call. It's extraordinary. It's the
00:57annual Elvis festival.
00:59Wow. Amazing. But there we are, each to our own. Now, if somebody said to you, who would you like
01:05to impersonate, given half a chance, would you pick anybody in particular? Who would you like to be?
01:13I think I'd definitely go for someone from the silent movies. Charlie Chapman did enough silent movies, didn't he? Yeah.
01:19That'll do. Nobody wants to hear my voice. Why not? Anything that avoids that at all costs is fine by
01:25me. Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Have you ever heard me sing, Nick? Oh, no. There's a
01:29reason for that.
01:31Well, you and me both. I can't sing a note. Not a note. We've got two new contestants. We've got
01:37Simon Garside with us. Hi, Nick. Welcome, Simon. You're a singer. I am.
01:41Every night or every chance you get, you're off in the pubs and clubs away from your day job as
01:47an IT service manager, singing. For the last 15 years, you've been doing it.
01:51Yes. It all started out with the karaoke and then people said, why don't you do it for kind of
01:57semi-professionally?
01:58Yeah. And then just took it upon myself to do it one day, actually doing a few Elvis songs.
02:02Thank you very much.
02:05So it's funny you should mention that. So, yeah, I've been doing that for quite a while.
02:07All right. You're joined by Pauline Crear, now retired from Enfield.
02:13You've got a lovely story. For the last 44 years, once a week,
02:17you and your pals, about nine or ten of you, go off somewhere to a hall and play table tennis.
02:24Yes.
02:24That is brilliant. How did this all start?
02:27It started as an evening class in the 70s, actually, and it didn't sort of go on for very long.
02:33And so we sort of formed our own little group and to the local, well, it was the quite well
02:39-known Pickett's Lock Sports Centre.
02:42It was used by some of the Olympians when we were in 2012.
02:45Well, but now it was all pulled down and we live in, play in a local sports hall.
02:50And you sing in the local choir too?
02:52Yes, yeah. We've got that in common, yes.
02:54That's wonderful. Listen, have a lot of fun, both of you.
02:58A lot of fun. Big round of applause for Simon and Pauline.
03:07And over, over there, we've got Susie.
03:09Once again, the wonderful poet, writer, broadcaster, comedian, the wonderful Pam Ayres,
03:15who'll be reciting some poems from her latest book, Up in the Attic.
03:20But right now, Simon, it's your letters game.
03:24Thank you, Nick.
03:25Good afternoon, Rachel.
03:25Good afternoon, Simon.
03:26May I start up with a consonant, please?
03:27You may, thank you. Start today with N.
03:29And another?
03:32F.
03:33And a third?
03:34S.
03:35A vowel?
03:37E.
03:38A second?
03:40O.
03:41A consonant?
03:43C.
03:45And another?
03:47S.
03:48A vowel?
03:50E.
03:51And finally, N of a consonant, please?
03:53And finally, R.
03:56And here's the countdown clock.
03:57A vowelist.
03:59A vowelist.
04:04M trainingsum.
04:21A vowelist.
04:22A vowelist.
04:22A vowelist.
04:23A vowelist.
04:24A vowelist.
04:26A vowelist.
04:29Simon?
04:31Six.
04:31Six, Pauline?
04:33Six also.
04:34Simon?
04:35Scorer?
04:36Pauline?
04:38Scenes.
04:40Scenes is fine.
04:41Only one after scorer.
04:43Sorry about that.
04:45But yes.
04:47Scenes is fine.
04:47Now, Pat?
04:48We have triumphed over here.
04:50We haven't just confessed once.
04:51We've confessed twice with reconfess,
04:55which apparently is a word.
04:57It is an old word,
04:58but it's in the dictionary.
04:58To reconfess?
04:59Yes, reconfess.
05:01Why would you want to do that?
05:03Maybe you would reconfess
05:04to a higher priest or something,
05:05possibly.
05:06You didn't confess enough
05:07the first time.
05:10Left some things out, perhaps.
05:12That's right.
05:14All right.
05:15Pauline on six.
05:16Now, Pauline,
05:17your letters come.
05:18Good afternoon, Rachel.
05:20Afternoon, Pauline.
05:20Can I start with a consonant, please?
05:22Start with X.
05:23And another.
05:26G.
05:27And a vowel, please?
05:29U.
05:31And another.
05:32A.
05:34And a third one.
05:36I.
05:38And a consonant.
05:40H.
05:42And another consonant.
05:45M.
05:48And a vowel.
05:51E.
05:53Oh, one more.
05:54Oh, another consonant.
05:55And the bonus,
05:56W.
05:59Stand by.
06:00And a vowel.
06:13And a vowel.
06:17And a vowel.
06:19And a vowel.
06:19And a vowel.
06:19And a vowel.
06:19And a vowel.
06:19And a vowel.
06:20And a vowel.
06:31Pauline
06:32Five
06:32Yes, Simon
06:34Only a four
06:35Your four is
06:36Wage
06:37Wage and
06:38Image
06:39And image
06:41Yes
06:41Well done
06:43Hmm
06:44Now
06:45Pam and Susie
06:46Yes, we're seafaring types over here today
06:50With anchors away
06:52A-W-E-I-G-H
06:54So, yes
06:56Excellent
06:56We're nautical types over here
06:58Excellent
06:59All right
06:59Simon
07:00Your numbers game now
07:02Thank you
07:02I'll stick with a singing theme
07:04Can I have one, two, one, two please
07:06You can indeed
07:06One from the top
07:07Two from the next
07:08One
07:08And two
07:10Thank you Simon
07:10And the first numbers of the day
07:12Are five
07:13Three
07:13One
07:15Three
07:16Nine
07:16And seventy-five
07:18And the target
07:19Three hundred and seventy-seven
07:21Three seven seven
07:23Two
07:24And another
07:37Two
07:54Simon.
07:563-7-7.
07:57And Pauline.
07:583-7-7.
08:00Simon.
08:0175 times 5.
08:033-75.
08:053 minus 1.
08:06E is a 2.
08:07And Alisson.
08:08Straightforward start.
08:09Well done.
08:10And Pauline.
08:11More or less exactly the same I did.
08:13Plus 3, minus 1.
08:14After the 3.
08:155 times 75.
08:18So it's 10 playing 21.
08:20Pauline on 21.
08:20As we turn to our first tea time teaser, which is Sue's Lover.
08:26There's nobody to blame if we can't make this work except us.
08:30There's nobody to blame if we can't make this work except us.
08:49Welcome back.
08:50I left you with the clue there's nobody to blame if we can't make this work except us.
08:55And the answer to that is ourselves.
09:00Ourselves.
09:02Now 21 plays 10.
09:03Pauline on 21.
09:05Pauline, your letters game now.
09:07I'll start with a consonant please, Rachel.
09:09Thank you, Pauline.
09:10P.
09:11And another.
09:13D.
09:14And a vowel please.
09:16O.
09:17And another vowel.
09:19I.
09:19A consonant, please.
09:23R.
09:25Vowel.
09:27A.
09:29A consonant.
09:31P.
09:33And a vowel.
09:37E.
09:38And a final consonant.
09:40And a final K.
09:43Stand by.
09:44And a vowel.
10:10And a vowel.
10:13And a vowel.
10:14And a vowel.
10:15Pauline.
10:16Six.
10:17Yes, Simon?
10:18A risky seven.
10:20Pauline.
10:21Pokia.
10:23Pokia, now Simon.
10:24Er, dopia or dopia?
10:27Er, is it a double P?
10:29Yes.
10:29Er, cos dopia is in there with one P.
10:32Er, I'm not sure we're going to find it with two.
10:36Er, we're not, I'm afraid.
10:38Sorry, Simon.
10:39Bad luck.
10:40Bad luck.
10:42Pam.
10:42Er, I've got a six, which is rapido.
10:45Yes.
10:46Er, and we've also got a seven, which is dappier.
10:51I'll ask Susie to explain that one.
10:54Dappier.
10:54Er, yes, if you're dappy, erm, in, erm, British dialect, really, you are silly, disorganised,
11:00or lacking concentration.
11:02Well, well.
11:0327 plays ten.
11:05Simon, your letters game now.
11:07Er, a continent, please.
11:09Thank you, Simon.
11:10C.
11:10And another?
11:12T.
11:13A vowel.
11:15U.
11:16A consonant.
11:18G.
11:20A vowel.
11:22E.
11:23Another vowel.
11:25O.
11:26A consonant.
11:28N.
11:30And another?
11:33And finally, a vowel, please.
11:35And finally, I.
11:38Stand by.
11:39T.
11:40T cuenta may.
11:44A vowel.
11:52A vowel.
11:53A vowel.
11:53And another?
11:53T run.
11:54T aó.
11:56T a.
11:56T a.
11:56T.
11:57T a.
11:57T a.
11:58T a.
12:08T a.
12:08A vowel, h Inhale, aerting t.
12:10Simon.
12:11A seven.
12:13Pauline.
12:14Eight.
12:15And an eight, Simon.
12:16Gouting.
12:19Pauline.
12:20Courting.
12:22There are two Gs for gouting, unfortunately,
12:24so I'm not sure it would be in any way, but you'd need two Gs.
12:27So we're courting.
12:29Pam.
12:30We've got counter for seven.
12:32Yes.
12:33And we've also got, for eight, gerontic.
12:38Does that have to do with me?
12:40Something with old age.
12:42Over to you, Susie.
12:43Yes, relating to elderly people.
12:45Yeah.
12:46I feel guilty.
12:52Do I have gerontic behaviour?
12:54No.
12:54Of course not.
12:56I'm not sure.
12:58I'm not sure of anything anymore.
13:0035 plays 10.
13:01Simon on 10.
13:02Pauline, your numbers game.
13:03Can I have two from the top and four little ones, please?
13:06You can indeed.
13:07Thank you, Pauline.
13:08Two from the top.
13:09And this time, your little numbers are six, eight, seven and five.
13:16And the large two, 75 and 50.
13:18And the target to reach 168.
13:21One, six, eight.
13:23One, six, eight.
13:24One, six, eight.
13:54Pauline, 171, 171, Simon, 163, 163, Pauline, start with you, 50 plus 75 is 125, yep, plus
14:135 times 8, 40, 5 times 8 for 40, 165, and then add the 6, 171, but 168 is really
14:23what we were
14:24driving for, can we manage that? A couple of ways, Nick, you could have said 8 minus 6
14:29is 2, times that by 50 for 100, and then add the 75 and take the 7, 168.
14:43Wonderful, thanks Rachel, as ever. So, 42 plays 10, Pauline in the lead as we turn with
14:51enthusiasm to Pam. Pam, what have you got for us? I've got some doggy ones today, Nick.
14:56I've got a very short doggy one, which goes, puppies in their basket smell as sweet as
15:02any roses, older doggies smell of flatulence and halitosis. So that's one, and the second
15:11one is one I wrote after, I asked my grandson what he would like for his birthday, and he
15:17said he'd like a red football, and so I couldn't see any in the shop, so I went into a
15:22special
15:22sports shop and I ordered a red football, and in due course it came, and on the great day
15:28we took it in the garden, gave it a good kick, and I've got a little terrier, and she jumped
15:32up and bit it, and it went flat, so it didn't last a minute. And so anyway, I wrote this,
15:38but I couldn't make it a red football in my poem because I couldn't make it rhyme, so
15:42it had to be a blue one. Thank you. You have to imagine I'm a dog. All right. I am
15:47the dog
15:48who bit the ball and ruined the game of goals. I wasn't to know a ball won't go if you've
15:55added a couple of holes. The kids and dad, they all went mad, they sent me indoors, they
16:00did. The ball was new, a beautiful blue, and it cost them several quid. The shame, the
16:07shame, I ruined the game, and made the family crabby. I jumped for it, I shook it a bit,
16:14and it went from hard to flabby. Bad dog, they said, go in your bed, and in disgrace I go.
16:22I offered a paw, but nobody saw, nobody wanted to know. Here comes the boss, she's ever so
16:29cross. Her face is black as thunder. I'm in my bed, expression of dread, my tail tucked down,
16:37and under. With hands on hips and scald on lips, she tells me I'm a menace. I'm finding
16:44it tough, this football stuff. Would anyone care for tennis? The rule, you see, for dogs
16:50like me, is simple. I'll recite it. Don't kick a ball near terriers small and think that
16:57they won't bite it. I'm not too grand to lick her hand. I sidle up and risk it. I think
17:05I've won. Look, everyone, she's gone to get a biscuit.
17:16That's lovely. That's a lovely pound. Now, 42 plays 10, and Simon, Simon, it's your letters
17:24game. Can I have a consonant, please? Thank you, Simon. Q. And another? L. And a third?
17:32S. S. A vowel? U. And another? E. And a third? A. A consonant? W. And another? R. And another,
17:50please. And lastly, Zed. Stand by.
17:54Zed. Stand by.
18:26Yes, Simon? A six. Pauline? Also a six. No, Simon? Square. And Pauline? Equals. Equals.
18:36Yes. We happy? Very happy. Pam, what do you think? I've got the great beauty of the sea,
18:42the walrus. The walrus, indeed. Yes, which is six. Susie and the others? Lots of sixes. Squeal,
18:49azures, the small blue butterflies. Couldn't get beyond six, though. Walrus.
18:54Thank you. 48 plays 16. Now, Pauline. Pauline, your letters game. Take it away.
19:01Start with a consonant, please, Rachel. Thank you, Pauline. D. And another?
19:06Another? M. And another? S. And a vowel? E. Another vowel? I. And another? A. Consonant? M.
19:25Another consonant? S. And a final vowel? And a final U. Stand by.
19:34S. And a vowel?
19:35MUSIC PLAYS
20:04Pauline.
20:06Six.
20:07Simon.
20:08Just a five.
20:09Your five is...
20:10Dimes.
20:11Dimes.
20:12Pauline.
20:13Messed.
20:16Uh, we have a seven, um, which is misused.
20:21Misused, indeed.
20:21Yes, we, so, we've got misused, and Susie's got...
20:26Sammies.
20:27Um, yeah, Sammies are sandwiches in Australia and New Zealand.
20:31Sammies.
20:31Sammies.
20:3354 plays 16.
20:35Simon, your numbers game.
20:36Uh, can I have an inverted T, please?
20:38You can, indeed.
20:40One from the top and five little ones.
20:42Thank you, Simon.
20:42And this time around, the selection is two, three, five, six, nine, and 100.
20:51And the target, 350.
20:54Three, five, zero.
21:25Yes, Simon.
21:26Uh, three, four, nine.
21:28One away.
21:28Pauline.
21:29Oh, I think I've got three, five, two.
21:32Simon.
21:33Uh, here we go.
21:35Uh, 100 times three is 300.
21:37Yep.
21:38Uh, nine times six is 54.
21:41It is.
21:42And then minus the five.
21:43Four, one away.
21:46Well done.
21:47350.
21:48Is that so tricky?
21:49Uh, well, if you start with 100 divided by two is 50, it becomes a lot easier.
21:54Because you can say six divided by three is another two.
21:57Add that to five for seven and times them for 350.
22:01Excellent.
22:05Back on as always.
22:07So, 23 to 54, Simon on 23 as we break now for our second Tea Time teaser, which is Bear
22:14Slugs.
22:14And the clue, it's exactly the sort of state you'll find this fodder in.
22:19It's exactly the sort of state you'll find this fodder in.
22:39Welcome back.
22:39I left you with the clue.
22:40So, it's exactly the sort of state you'll find this fodder in.
22:44And the answer is bluegrass.
22:48Bluegrass.
22:49So, 54 to 23.
22:52Pauline in the lead.
22:53And it's your letters game.
22:55Yes.
22:56Um, a consonant please, Rachel.
22:58Thank you, Pauline.
22:59R.
22:59And another.
23:01P.
23:02And another.
23:04T.
23:05And a vowel.
23:07O.
23:07And another vowel.
23:10A.
23:11And another vowel.
23:13I.
23:15And another vowel.
23:18E.
23:19And a consonant.
23:21J.
23:23And a final consonant.
23:26A final H.
23:28Stand by.
24:00Pauline.
24:01I've got a point of blank, sorry.
24:04Are we blanking on this, Simon?
24:05What about you?
24:06Six.
24:07You've got a six, which is?
24:09Pirate.
24:10Ah, yes.
24:10Pirate.
24:12Pirate.
24:13Pam.
24:14Pirate Pam.
24:15Yes, I've got oath, which wasn't much good.
24:17And we've also got pother.
24:20Pother.
24:21What's a pother?
24:22It's a facile commotion.
24:23Stop making such a pother.
24:25A pother.
24:26Well, well.
24:27Pauline, 54.
24:28Simon, 29.
24:30Simon, we turn to.
24:31Yes, Simon?
24:32Letters game.
24:33Can I have a consonant, please?
24:35Thank you, Simon.
24:36B.
24:36And another?
24:38T.
24:40And another?
24:42N.
24:43A vowel?
24:45O.
24:46And another?
24:48I.
24:49A consonant?
24:51D.
24:52A vowel?
24:54A.
24:56Another vowel?
24:58E.
24:59And finally, another consonant, please.
25:02And lastly, T.
25:03And it's counter.
25:04A vowel?
25:06A vowel?
25:09A vowel?
25:16A vowel?
25:20A vowel?
25:22A vowel?
25:22A vowel?
25:22A vowel?
25:30A vowel?
25:33A vowel?
25:37Yes, Simon?
25:38A six.
25:39Pauline?
25:40And a six.
25:42Simon?
25:43Batted.
25:43Pauline?
25:44Boated.
25:46Yes.
25:47There we are.
25:47And in the corner, Pam?
25:49We've got an eight, which is antidote, as in, he was bitten by an enormous snake,
25:54and unfortunately there was no known antidote.
25:57And we've got...
26:00Obtained.
26:01Another eight.
26:02Obtained.
26:06APPLAUSE
26:10Susie.
26:12Susie's origins of words.
26:14It's that time, Susie.
26:15I had a new man, Nick, from Jack Lloyd, who asks for the origin of cardinal sins,
26:21because he's wondering whether they've got anything to do with cardinals
26:24and what were the sins that they were committing.
26:27Cardinal sins are pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath and sloth.
26:33And there is a connection with the cardinal, the senior Roman Catholic priest, but it goes
26:39back to something you might not be able to guess at, and that's a door hinge, believe
26:44it or not, because the Latin cardinalis and cardo meant hinged in some way.
26:49And the idea is that something is so fundamental and so important that everything else pivots around it.
26:56So it's something literally of pivotal importance with the idea of the hinge.
27:00Everything turns or depends on it.
27:02And that's the image behind the cardinal sins, the most fundamental ones that were seen as being in the church.
27:09So I thought I'd say with the church just briefly, the pontiff is an alternative name for the Pope,
27:15and that's from the Latin for a bridge builder.
27:18So the idea is that the pontiff is the kind of, the conduit, if you like, the medium for people.
27:24And someone who takes on the role of the pontiff, officiating at a mass, is said to pontificate.
27:30And of course, we think about that in a slightly different way these days, being really dogmatic about something.
27:34But it was originally all about being that bridge.
27:36So it's really turned that one.
27:38The Pope himself gets his title from the Greek papas, child's name for a father, of course.
27:43And the vicar, the vicar was originally a person who stood in for another.
27:48So in the 14th century, he was the earthly representative of God, standing in for God,
27:53and then moved on to be somebody standing in for an absent parson or a rector.
27:59And the idea of that substitute is there in vicarious as well.
28:03Excellent.
28:10All those facts packed in so succinctly, it's brilliant, isn't it?
28:15Now, 60 plays 35.
28:17Pauline, your letters go.
28:19Start again with a consonant, please.
28:22Thank you, Pauline.
28:23C.
28:23And another.
28:25C.
28:26And another one.
28:28N.
28:29And a vowel.
28:31A.
28:32And another vowel.
28:34I.
28:35And another, please.
28:37E.
28:38And a consonant.
28:41L.
28:43A vowel.
28:45E.
28:46And another vowel.
28:51And the last one.
28:52O.
28:54And here's the countdown clock.
28:55oh,
28:57let's go.
28:57See you in the next one.
29:00Bye.
29:06Bye.
29:12Bye.
29:24Bye.
29:28Yes, Pauline?
29:29Only a five.
29:30A five, Simon?
29:31Only a four.
29:33And your four, Simon?
29:35Coil?
29:37Pauline?
29:38Clone.
29:39And clone?
29:40Yes, absolutely fine.
29:41Nothing to argue about there.
29:42Pam?
29:43We've got conical, which is seven.
29:47Licence, which is also seven.
29:49What's this one, Susie?
29:50Eoline.
29:51You can spell A-E-O-L-I-N-E.
29:53And it's an early form of harmonium, so it's a musical instrument, an ear line.
30:02Now, Simon, your letters came.
30:05Last one of the day.
30:07A consonant, please, Rachel.
30:09Thank you, Simon.
30:10S.
30:11A vowel?
30:13E.
30:14And another?
30:16A.
30:17And another?
30:20I.
30:21A consonant?
30:22N.
30:23And another?
30:26T.
30:27And a third?
30:29L.
30:30And a fourth?
30:32R.
30:34And another vowel, please.
30:37And lastly, U.
30:40Stand by.
30:41schon.
30:52Let's go.
30:53kötü את yepy!
31:11Those które teams in the day...
31:12Simon.
31:13Seven.
31:14Seven.
31:15And Pauline.
31:16Seven.
31:18Now, Simon.
31:20Retains.
31:21Pauline.
31:22Lustier.
31:25Lustier.
31:26What have we got in the corner?
31:27It's all a bit unsavoury over here, Nick.
31:29We've got entrails.
31:32Oh, dear.
31:32Doesn't sound very nice.
31:34That's an eight.
31:35And we've also got, I'm afraid, urinates, which is also eight.
31:39Well, thank you for packing it all into one little section there.
31:44Well, best of all you did today.
31:4672 to 42, and it's Pauline's numbers game.
31:50Yes, Pauline.
31:51I'll have two large and four small again, please, Rachel.
31:55Thank you, Pauline.
31:56Final one of the week, and the final numbers are three, eight, one, one, 50, and 25, and
32:07the target, 460.
32:08460.
32:10460.
32:11460.
32:36460.
32:41Pauline.
32:43I think I'm too far away.
32:45Too far? Simon.
32:46I have 4, 5, 3, I think.
32:51Let's try. 4, 5, 3?
32:54It's 8 plus 1.
32:558 plus 1 is 9.
32:58Times the 50.
32:59Times the 50 for 450.
33:01Just add the 3.
33:02And add the 3 there, 4, 5, 3, yep.
33:05Yep, gets you the points.
33:06But 460, Rachel, 460 is what we're after.
33:10Possible?
33:11If you add the second one for 51 times 9, you get to 1 away.
33:14But this one was impossible, so 1 away was the best you could have done.
33:17Thank you. Thank you.
33:1972, therefore, to 47 as we go into the final round.
33:24Fingers on buzzers.
33:26Good luck to you both.
33:28Let's roll today's Countdown Conundrum.
33:38Yes, Pauline.
33:39Recharged.
33:41Recharged.
33:43Briskly done, Pauline.
33:45And here we go.
33:47Recharged.
33:57Well done, Pauline.
33:58It's all that table tennis, look.
34:00Look at you.
34:0182 points to Simon's creditable 47.
34:04But Pauline's coming back on Monday.
34:08Well done.
34:08I've got my teapot.
34:09You have.
34:10That's what I wanted, because I've got about 12 at home.
34:13Indeed.
34:14Well, you're going to be able to add one of these.
34:16Simon, thank you so much for coming.
34:18Well played.
34:18Take this goodie bag back to Oldham.
34:21Thank you very much.
34:21Thanks for coming, Pam and Susie.
34:23See you both on Monday?
34:24Yes.
34:24See you then.
34:26All right.
34:26And Rachel, too, of course.
34:27See you Monday.
34:28Same time, same place.
34:29You be sure of it.
34:30A very good afternoon.
34:33Contact us by email at countdown at channel4.com,
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34:39or write to us at Countdown, Leeds, LS3, 1JS.
34:43You can also find our web page at channel4.com forward slash countdown.
34:47Thank you very much.