00:00What's your rex like?
00:01We support Arsenal.
00:02Oh my god!
00:03Why do they call you Tiny Tim?
00:05Don't confuse a name with any part of the anatomy.
00:08What's your favourite position?
00:10Are we still talking football?
00:12Who's your biggest inspiration?
00:14My biggest inspiration is probably...
00:19Ice Cube.
00:25I did not expose that!
00:30Ice Cube!
00:31Right, if we can have anyone, my biggest inspiration?
00:34I don't know, maybe The Rock?
00:37Okay, let's hope you look the same.
00:41Describe your ex to me.
00:45You know who Pamela Anderson is?
00:48Yeah.
00:48The opposite of that.
00:50The complete observer.
00:51Oh no.
00:52There's a lot riding on this.
00:54What football team do you support?
00:56Um, I'm not actually a fan of football.
00:58That's the worst answer ever.
01:01You could have said a team and then we could have had a discussion but now you don't like football.
01:06What if I said Liverpool?
01:07Oh my god!
01:08Why didn't you shut your mouth?
01:12I'm going, I'm going.
01:14It's not going to work.
01:15No, I take it back.
01:16I take it back.
01:17I'll learn to like football.
01:18So who would you support?
01:20Careful.
01:20Um, I'll guess and say Man City.
01:24Oh my god, he gets worse!
01:26Oh my god, I'm going to, oh my god!
01:31What do you support?
01:33United.
01:34Well, go on.
01:35I'm leaning more towards Man United.
01:37I think we're a match made in heaven.
01:40Yeah, you know what?
01:40I think, I think we are.
01:41We'll go to a game together.
01:44Would you pay for a ticket?
01:46I'll pay for your ticket.
01:47Tell me about your family.
01:49Me, there's me and my mum.
01:51We live at home.
01:52Um, I've got Uncle Barry.
01:54He's not my real uncle.
01:55He just comes around playing wrestling with my mum.
01:58And then we've got Smacked Steve.
02:01He's just a friend.
02:01His girlfriend, Sticky Vicka.
02:03Her best mate, Ping Pong Paula.
02:05And then her ex-boyfriend, Baghead Brian.
02:07They fell out.
02:08Oh, they had a big falling out.
02:11Oh damn.
02:12Well, Christmas at your house is going to be very full, I think.
02:15No, it's just going to be me and my mum,
02:18because everyone else is probably going to be in jail.
02:21What's something you don't like about your family?
02:24Oh, it just stinks of BO and Stella in the house.
02:30That's because of the plants in the attic.
02:32They're not daffodils.
02:34Do you see what I mean?
02:35I see what you mean.
02:37I see what you mean.
02:38Disappointment and rejection.
02:39That's all it's with is.
02:40That's all it stinks of.
02:42Three, two, one, two, one.
02:45Yeah, you're good.
02:49I'm good.
02:50I'm good.
02:50How are you?
02:51I'm very good.
02:52Oh my God, isn't that proper blind date in that?
02:56I'm excited to watch Man United.
03:00You are nice.
03:03Why do they call you Tiny Tim?
03:05Don't confuse the name with any part of the anatomy.
03:07I'm just going to say that.
03:09It's because I'm big, but I've got a little voice.
03:12Okay.
03:13If you're not packing much, that is all right.
03:15If what?
03:18If you came with a warning label, what would it say?
03:21Too funny.
03:22That was so fast.
03:23It bodes well for me, that speeding procedure.
03:28Where are you from?
03:30I'm from Newcastle.
03:34Do you know like up north?
03:36I know Newcastle.
03:37Do you like it?
03:38I all right bet.
03:42I love Newcastle.
03:44Have you been?
03:45Yeah, loads.
03:46Oh, where'd you go?
03:47Yeah.
03:53So Tim, what makes you different from other guys?
03:56I'm so funny.
03:58I can tell you a joke and you will laugh.
04:01Go on then.
04:01Um, no.
04:04See, see, I made you laugh about telling you the joke.
04:08I'm super fit.
04:09I'm super good.
04:10No, fit, fit.
04:11And I get tired going up the stairs, but I'm good looking.
04:15Okay.
04:16And do you have a lot of jokes?
04:18I really want to hear one.
04:19Right.
04:19Okay.
04:20This is the classic.
04:21The seven dwarfs are having a bath, right?
04:25And then doc starts to feel sleepy.
04:28So sleepy gets out.
04:31I don't get it, but I'm laughing.
04:33How do you not?
04:34How do you not get it?
04:35I don't understand.
04:37Doc, one of the seven dwarfs starts to feel sleepy.
04:45That is not your age range.
04:48That's terrible.
04:48That's funny.
04:49Do you want another one?
04:50Yeah, actually.
04:51Go on.
04:51What do you call a bloke lying on your face?
04:53Front door.
04:54I don't know.
04:55What do you call a bloke lying on your front door?
04:58My...
04:59See?
05:00Funny.
05:02Tim, what's your guilty pleasure?
05:04I actually get my nails done.
05:07That's my guilty pleasure.
05:08Stop looking at my nails now, everybody.
05:11What, just like nail art?
05:13Like Harry Styles?
05:14Do you get like little photos?
05:15Oh, I'm not that brave.
05:18We could go get our nails done together.
05:20Say together again.
05:22Together.
05:22Together.
05:25One, two, three.
05:28Oh my God.
05:30Oh my God.
05:31You're not blonde.
05:34Where are you going?
05:36Hi.
05:36Oh my God.
05:37What's your favorite position?
05:40Are we still talking football?
05:42Yeah?
05:43Strike off.
05:45I don't know what that is.
05:48Missionary.
05:49Oh, okay.
05:50Just up front.
05:51Bosh.
05:52What's the worst accent?
05:54Would you say?
05:57What is it?
05:59Where are you from?
06:00Um, Birmingham.
06:02That one.
06:03Have we got a problem?
06:08Okay.
06:08Can you do any accents then?
06:09I'm you all right?
06:11You're all right?
06:12You're all right, Bob.
06:14Okay.
06:15Uh, how tall are you?
06:17How tall am I?
06:18Yeah.
06:19Um, I like to think six foot but I'm not.
06:23So how tall are you really?
06:24A bit less.
06:25By how much?
06:25Uh, a foot.
06:29I'm nearly Mathis.
06:32You're nearly what?
06:33Mathis.
06:33What does that mean?
06:34Like massive but.
06:37How tall are you?
06:38I'm five foot eight.
06:40So I'm nearly six foot as well basically.
06:42Well that seems me.
06:43Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:44If you could guess what I look like,
06:45what would you say?
06:48Stunning.
06:49Stunning.
06:50Yeah.
06:50Beautiful.
06:52Thanks.
06:53Not met yet.
06:58Would you fight someone for me then?
07:00Yeah, I'd fight everyone for anyone.
07:02Really?
07:02Yeah, I love fighting.
07:03Even if they're like bigger than you?
07:05Yeah, I'll just, I'll tell them a joke and I'll walk on.
07:09Really?
07:09Yeah.
07:10You'd get battered for me then?
07:11I wouldn't get battered.
07:12How do you know though?
07:13Because I'm a third down black belt in Kenpo Jiu Jitsu,
07:17I won't get battered.
07:18What if like they're massive and they like stomp on you?
07:21Because what, like a giant?
07:23Yeah.
07:23Bigger they are, they are, they'll fall.
07:25I don't care how big you are, no one's surviving, I kick in the winch.
07:29Is it so hard?
07:32I got my head smashed in a few weeks ago.
07:35Jesus.
07:36By a door, I don't know if that's the worst thing I've ever done but.
07:40You had a fight with the door?
07:41No, I didn't have a fight with the door, I got it bashed in.
07:44There's a difference.
07:45So you got your head bashed in?
07:47Yeah.
07:48Did the police get involved?
07:49Yeah, because someone.
07:50Did they just say it's an open and closed case?
07:55All right, that's not funny.
07:57Three, two, one.
08:00Hi, oh my god.
08:02Hi.
08:02You're proper Mathis.
08:04Massive.
08:05Mathis.
08:05Oh, does that make you sad?
08:07Are you okay?
08:08No, do you want to hug her?
08:09Yeah.
08:11So you said you was six foot?
08:13Nearly.
08:13Nearly?
08:14Nearly.
08:15Nearly?
08:15I'm not.
08:16Oh.
Comments