- 6 hours ago
Rivals - Season 2 Episode 1
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Short filmTranscript
00:02And we're live in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
00:11Welcome to the naughtiest show on television.
00:15Coming to you live from Carinium Studios.
00:18Uncensored.
00:19Tonight we'll be bringing you the stories they don't want you to hear.
00:23We name the breakfast television presenter who's been staying up late with Ladies of the Night.
00:27And as rumours circulate about a famous pop star's homosexuality, our celebrity panel wonders.
00:33Who are the poofs of pop?
00:35But first, love and prayers from everyone at Carinium.
00:39For our beloved leader, Lord Battingham.
00:43Fuck you!
00:45Everyone at Carinium has been shocked and saddened by his tragic accident.
00:49Don't you ever stop, I'm here with you.
00:55Lord Battingham, Tony, wasn't just our boss.
00:58He was our family.
01:00Lord Battingham.
01:00They said you followed me.
01:06You followed me.
01:09And I, I, I followed you.
01:12What is you going to do?
01:14What is you going to do when it all breaks up?
01:16What is you going to do when it all breaks up?
01:18What is you going to do when the love gets hurt?
01:19What is you going to do when it strikes me off?
01:21When you find childhood.
01:22What's happened?
01:22But it takes more than a little bump to the head to keep Tony batting him down
01:33Help me
01:57Oh
02:36Looking from a window above, it's like a story of love
02:42Can you hear me?
02:45Came back only yesterday
02:47Help me, can I put this gently on the seats?
02:49Hold it close, he looks great
02:54All I needed was the love you gave
02:58All I needed for another day
03:03And all I ever knew
03:06Only you
03:12Sometimes when I think of you name
03:15When it's only your game
03:17And I need you
03:21Listen to the words that you say
03:24It's good to be true
03:26When I see you
03:30How long is this drive?
03:32Oh my God
03:34Look at the size of this place
03:36That's all I needed for another day
03:42Welcome to Bella Vista
03:46Val's had her eye on this since we moved to Green Lawns
03:48It's nice though, being right here in Penscombe
03:51Near Rupert and you lot
03:52We brought our swimming costumes
03:53Ah, well Val's got some rules
03:56No running, pushing, ducking, bombing or skinny dipping
04:01What about heavy petting?
04:03Go for your life
04:04As long as you keep your cozies on
04:05Ah, baby
04:08Come on
04:12Here they are
04:13I invited the polo team round for some swimming
04:17Val's turned it into a bloody circus
04:20You all right, lads?
04:21Yeah
04:25Freddie
04:25Freddie
04:26Sebi and Dommy Carlisle
04:27People call them the Heavenly Twins
04:29Although they're not identical
04:30Sebi's taller
04:31And apparently Dommy's got a big willy
04:33Oh, wow
04:35Where's the pool, Mr. James?
04:38Follow me
04:46Welcome to Bella Vista
04:48We called it Bella Vista
04:51Because it means nice view
04:55It's so wonderful to be able to stand at the bottom of one's drive
04:58And not be able to see one's house
05:01Right, if you'd like to go through
05:03Shoes off, everyone, please
05:07Who's the heavenly girl?
05:08One of Baz's stick chicks
05:10I tell you what, Patrick
05:11They only let beautiful people play polo
05:13Worried they let you play, then?
05:14I'm the patron of the Joneses Jets
05:17Patron?
05:18Is that how polo people say it?
05:19Yeah, I just give them a load of money to sponsor the team
05:21And then they stick me on a pony
05:22And they set me up to score goals and look good
05:25We're finally where we belong, aren't we, Fred Fred?
05:29Shall we?
05:37It's so nice to have a man around the house
05:42Oh, so nice to have a man around the house
05:46Someone sweet who's glad he found you
05:50Who will put his arms around you
05:52And his kisses just astound you
05:54It's so nice
05:55Oh, a house is just a house without a man
06:00He's the necessary evil in your plan
06:05There are many things about him
06:08You just cannot do without him
06:11Though it's just a constant game of cat and mouse
06:15It's so nice to have a man around the house
06:28Taggy, did you make all these?
06:30Uh, yes
06:36Prick me with a fork
06:37I'm done
06:39Right
06:39Then
06:42Ventura meeting, jacuzzi
06:43Let's talk polo
06:48It's our first chance of making TV
06:50We're going to film the match
06:52Flog the footage to the BBC
06:54And show everyone that Ventura can cover a score
06:56Your people really want to watch polo?
06:59I love watching polo
07:00It's the Russia Cup
07:01This has been held on the estate since 1874
07:04You sure you want me on celly on a horse?
07:06Pony
07:07What?
07:08Anyway, there's no bloody Rupert
07:09Our team's a manned out
07:10Still no word for me
07:11What Cameron?
07:12Not even a bloody phone call
07:14It's pandemonium at Carinium
07:15No Cameron
07:16Tony's still off work after his accident
07:18I'm in charge of everything
07:19But you're Ventura, what?
07:21I'm double agenting Henry, remember?
07:23Oh, yes
07:24Sorry, Charles
07:25I hate to admit it
07:26But I was under the impression
07:27We had already won the franchise, huh?
07:29We won the right to compete against Carinium
07:32Jesus, Henry
07:32It's a good thing I'm hiring proper staff
07:35The Prime Minister's really quite ticked off
07:37The general election's days away
07:38Nobody's heard from him
07:39Stop it, last time Rupert got himself lost in a sex marathon
07:41He didn't come up for air for a month
07:49Devil's egg, your holiness
07:50Thank you
07:53Lady Hampshire
07:53Why not, Mrs. Jones?
07:55Thank you
07:55Oh, no, please
07:57Call me Mousy
07:59Oh, have we told you that Wayne is starting Eton in September?
08:03We're very proud of him
08:04How did he get in?
08:08Did Freddie donate a computer lab?
08:12Well, now he passed the exam
08:19No
08:20No
08:22Hallelujah
08:29War a polo
08:30Willy
08:32Will it?
08:32Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight
08:36Neil, kill it, Neil, kill it
08:56I really didn't want to see my brother completely naked, but I saw the Carlisle twins bit, so I'm taking
09:02that as a win.
09:04I thought Sebi's willy was nicer.
09:07Have you still not heard anything more from your sub tag?
09:09Oh, he was never my sub. His letter was lovely and his new job sounds amazing.
09:14He dumped you in a letter? The shame!
09:15Have you heard from Cameron since she's been off shagging Rupert, dipstick?
09:24Tag?
09:25What's the matter?
09:33Rupert kissed me.
09:34Fucking fuck!
09:35What?
09:37Where?
09:38In the kitchen.
09:39No, I meant where did he hiss you?
09:41Oh, on the mouth.
09:42Yeah, he said such lovely things and then the next day he just disappeared.
09:46Oh, Tag.
09:48Sebi couldn't breathe without me.
09:52I just don't believe he would say that and then just disappear.
09:57Doesn't make sense.
10:00Something awful must have happened.
10:27Something awful must have happened.
10:40Plenty more where that came from.
10:42I mean, bringing me here, keeping me safe.
10:45Well, it's just good manners.
10:47Rupert, be serious for a moment.
10:51I promised I would protect you.
10:54And I will.
10:56Say hi to me here forever?
10:58Well, we don't have to stay in Devon.
11:01We're friends all over the world.
11:03We keep moving.
11:06Stay ahead of the game.
11:07Stay ahead of the game.
11:08Come on.
11:20Hello.
11:37I'm going to go on.
12:01Really well dad we thought you were dead be daft Camilla. Daddy's invincible. Thank you Beatrice
12:08If you packed your belongings for school, the car will be waiting to take you back girls. Archie, you'll go
12:13by train. Listen to your mother. Thank you darling. You really don't remember anything. I got to the police. It's
12:26a complete blank. It's extraordinary. That's very kind of you. Thanks for your concern.
12:39Yes, it's certainly very nice to be home. I know, I know, I know. Quite the end of series cliffhanger.
12:50Thank you. Thank you so much. Yes, it's splendid to be back home with the family. You too, Lady Gosling.
12:58Thank you. Good night.
12:58Good night. You should be heading up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire, Tony. I'll redress your wound for you. Let
13:10me lock up down there.
13:12No cigars.
13:13Oh.
13:17Come on dogs.
13:18Come on dogs.
13:53I didn't clean it.
14:00Do you think she's gone back to America?
14:04She's gone to Rupert Campbell Black.
14:09Hunt the bitch down.
14:14From the moment he met Maud, he was infatuated.
14:18Words started pouring out of him. Everything he ever wrote was for her.
14:22This hugely magnetic woman who constantly rejected him.
14:26Anyone would think this was your biography, Declan.
14:28That's why it has to be me who tells the Yates story.
14:32I mean, documentaries are normally so dry.
14:35No offence, Mike.
14:36No.
14:37Maud gone.
14:38Married someone else just to get a rise out of Yates.
14:41What does Yates do?
14:43Tries to seduce her daughter.
14:46Sounds like EastEnders.
14:47Well, EastEnders did get 28 million viewers last month.
14:51Huh?
14:54Documentaries aren't presented by celebrities.
14:57Whatever next?
14:57Joanna Lumley on plumbing.
15:00Listen, we really do want your face back on the Beebold boy.
15:04Would you consider hosting breakfast time?
15:07Frank Bob's on his way out.
15:08Out until the mornings.
15:10Oh.
15:11Can I say, Jeremy, this is exactly what the BBC documentary department are looking for.
15:17New formats bringing the wonders of the world to a wider audience.
15:20Declan O'Hara, Irish God, and British National Treasure.
15:24And who got his big break at the BBC?
15:27Look, it's relevant.
15:29It's noisy.
15:30It's informative.
15:32But gripping.
15:32Homework becomes entertainment.
15:35A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.
15:38In a most delightful way.
15:42Oh, thank you.
15:45Over there.
15:46Oh, let's see.
15:46You're all so kind.
15:47Thank you so much.
15:49Excuse me.
15:50So sweet.
16:06We came.
16:08We came.
16:09We came.
16:11Thanks for the horror.
16:14Come over here.
16:21Your love is king.
16:24Crown you in my heart.
16:26Your love is king.
16:28Patrick has script notes for Ibsen and Taggy.
16:32Well, she couldn't make head nor tail of a thief.
16:34I mean, I love the play.
16:36It's just a really small part.
16:38You might blink and you miss me, right?
16:41I mean...
16:42You don't have to be kind, Declan.
16:45It's...
16:47I really appreciate you coming.
16:53House falling apart without me, is it?
16:55It's quieter.
16:56Hey!
16:58I mean, the kids seem okay.
17:00Sure, why wouldn't they be?
17:02You're doing a play.
17:03We're all very happy for you.
17:05They've offered me the tour.
17:08Right.
17:12That's...
17:12Good news?
17:16But I really want to come home.
17:19Once we've finished in London.
17:20Oh, thank God.
17:24But I meant what I said, Declan.
17:26I need to keep working.
17:29Understood.
17:34Are you dancing?
17:35Are you asking?
17:39No one else is.
17:41You never stopped us before.
17:44Your love is king.
17:46You never need to part.
17:49Your kisses ring.
17:52Round and round and round my head.
17:55Touching a very part of me.
17:57It's making my soul sing.
18:00I'm crying out for more.
18:03Your love is king.
18:07I'm coming home.
18:12I'm coming home.
18:14I'm coming.
18:18You're making me dance.
18:24Inside.
18:29Touching a very part of me.
18:32It's making my soul sing.
18:35Tearing a very heart of me.
18:38I'm crying out for more.
18:52And this turned into a worthwhile trip.
18:57I had a meeting with Jeremy Bonington earlier.
19:00The BBC are interested in turning my Yates biography into a documentary.
19:07Right.
19:08I really want to film it in Sligo.
19:10And I'm playing Walt Garn, right?
19:12Well, if you're a West End star now, I couldn't afford you.
19:16Stage hands have more to do than me.
19:19Oh, my God, the Christmas tree.
19:25I like the Christmas tree.
19:31What do you think of the new ending?
19:34Hmm.
19:36Yeah.
19:38I mean, it was sacrilegious, but it gave a new meaning, I suppose.
19:43You fucking bullshitter.
19:47The only thing the producers haven't changed is the ending.
19:50She still leaves her husband and children for a better life,
19:54but you wouldn't know that.
19:55Just as you didn't know, the Christmas tree fell over tonight
19:58because you didn't watch the play.
20:02Maud.
20:03Get out.
20:04Listen, the meeting is ran over.
20:06I had every intention of going.
20:07Don't fucking get out.
20:08Maud.
20:09Get up.
20:09Come on.
20:10Please, don't.
20:11Just get out.
20:12Just fucking get out.
20:15Maud.
20:17Maud.
20:19Maud.
20:29Maud.
20:31Ladies.
20:36Is that Terry Wogan?
20:48Yes.
21:58Sorry I'm late, darling.
22:00I've had a terrible headache.
22:19Cameron!
22:21Cameron!
22:32Cameron!
22:33Cameron!
22:34Cameron!
22:35Cameron!
22:35Cameron!
22:35Cameron!
22:36Cameron!
22:36Cameron!
22:39Cameron!
22:40Cameron!
22:41Cameron!
22:42Cameron!
22:43Cameron!
22:52Sit down.
23:04What the fuck is this?
23:06I'm giving you a choice.
23:08A choice.
23:11I tried to kill you, Tony.
23:14Well, it's because I hurt you and you were defending yourself.
23:16We both got a little carried away.
23:18I lay in that hospital bed
23:21and wondered what this meant for our relationship.
23:25I could have you punished.
23:28Sent you to prison.
23:29Can't imagine America would want me back after that.
23:33But then I thought of the alternative.
23:35And that is?
23:38Forgiveness.
23:42I've already told the police I don't remember anything.
23:45If you stay with Karinian,
23:47stay with me,
23:50I will remember it was a simple accident.
23:58I love you, Cameron.
24:01No, you don't love me.
24:05You just want to beat Rupert.
24:09Can't a man have it all?
24:15No.
24:25No.
24:32I'll never do it.
24:33Bye-bye.
24:33Bye-bye.
24:35Bye-bye.
24:36Bye-bye.
24:38Bye-bye.
24:38Bye-bye.
24:45Rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.
24:49Which one of you greased the front steps, eh?
24:51No, seriously.
24:54Do be careful entering and exiting the building.
24:56My little slip could have been far, far worse.
24:59Thank goodness for Miss Madden.
25:02Joyce, I can always trust you to catch me when I fall.
25:05I would like to welcome back Cameron Cook.
25:09Who's been taking time away to study the opposition.
25:13Her first-class espionage means we are now fully abreast of Venturer's plans
25:18and are ready to knock them out of the competition.
25:21Thank you, Miss Cook.
25:23There are no lengths you won't go in order to keep Carinium,
25:27this franchise bid and all our livelihoods safe.
25:39Because, make no mistake, we are under attack.
25:44Venturer, led by Rupert Campbell Black and Declan O'Hara,
25:50will continue to solicit employees from our ranks
25:53to elicit confidential information.
25:55Those Venturer gangsters have no scruples.
26:00They'll be on your guard.
26:03Trust no-one!
26:06Oh, Charles, where's Charles Furman?
26:09Here, Tony.
26:10Charles has done a fantastic job covering Cameron's role
26:13while she's been away, so thank you, Charles.
26:16Now,
26:17Beatty and Sarah's Uncensored is demolishing the competition.
26:21The teams are gearing up to shoot series three
26:24of four men went to mow in September.
26:27Master Dog will be back.
26:29Bitter and parkier than ever.
26:31With James Verica back on presenting duties.
26:34Woof.
26:361987 is a franchise year, ladies and gentlemen,
26:39and we are at war.
26:43An eye for an eye.
26:45We'll take their fucking heads off!
26:48Yes!
26:51Woof!
26:52Ian!
26:55Woof!
26:57Woof!
26:58Woof!
26:59Woof!
27:01Woof!
27:01Tommy!
27:16Woof!
27:18Woof!
27:19Woof!
27:25I'm sorry tag not now
27:28Battingham found out about Cameron and me
27:31She thought he was going to kill her
27:32So she walloped him
27:34Shame she didn't succeed
27:35That's why we had to get away
27:37She was in danger
27:38I had to protect her
27:40But he found us
27:42So why has she gone back to him?
27:43I don't know
27:44She just got into the helicopter
27:46Doesn't seem like Cameron
27:47She's such a tough cookie
27:49She was scared of him
27:50We've got to get her out of there
27:54Rupert, she's a big girl
27:55If she's gone back to him
27:57Then maybe we've got to accept her
27:58No, it's not like her
27:59There's got to be something else going on
28:01You're wrong, Rupert
28:02She's definitely Team Carinium
28:04She's back at Tony's side
28:05As if nothing ever happened
28:07And there's something else
28:10Tony says that we're now filming
28:11The polo match on Sunday
28:13No, we're filming the polo match on Sunday
28:16Sorry, Declan, it's all set
28:18Carinium are filming the polo too
28:22Well
28:24Let's get ready for a fight
28:34Morning, hello
28:36Rupert Campbell Black
28:38Welcome to Venture
28:38Mike Maples
28:39Oh
28:39Tired to be here
28:41Are you ready?
28:42Well, I left behind regular hours
28:44And a BBC pension
28:45To work for my
28:46Broadcasting Heroes
28:48Renegade Production Company
28:49I've never been so poor
28:51Or so happy
28:59Right on schedule
29:15Okay
29:15Mix your neck
29:16It's done right away
29:18Cameron
29:22Beautiful day for it
29:26Let's have a fair fight
29:28May the best team win
29:34You can't make television without being a cunt, Tony
29:36It's not nearly so much fun, though, is it?
29:39Go on, Cameron
29:43What are you doing?
29:44Staying ahead of the game
29:47Come on, lads
29:49It's time for David to kick Elias' arse
30:08Dance, dance
30:09Put on your red shoes and dance the blues
30:16Dance, dance
30:18To the song they're playing on the radio
30:26If you say run
30:28I'll run with you
30:34If you say hide
30:37We'll hide
30:41Because my love for you
30:45Would break my heart in two
30:49If you should fall
30:52Into my arms
30:55Tremble like a flower
31:04Dance, dance, dance
31:13Let's dance
31:14From fear
31:16To the grace
31:17To the fall
31:21Let's dance
31:23From fear
31:25To the night is all
31:30Let's wave
31:31You could look
31:33So sexy
31:36What?
31:37This is my new favourite spot
31:39Yes, no one's actually here to watch polo
31:41They're here to watch each other
31:46Has Rupert said anything?
31:49I don't say he wants to get Cameron back
31:53There are less complicated men to fall in love with
32:02Polo polo
32:03Polo, the sport of kings
32:05Four players per team
32:06Four chuckers per game
32:08Seven minutes per chucker
32:09Look at all the pretty horses
32:11Let's horse around
32:12Horse play
32:13Par for the horse
32:15Ponies
32:15Can I get some water please?
32:17What?
32:18They're called ponies, James
32:19I thought ponies were baby horses
32:21Apparently not
32:22Stupid game
32:23Standby to record
32:26Floor standing by
32:27Waiting for shot to clear
32:29We ready?
32:29Chukka chukka chukka
32:30Chukka khan
32:31Chukka khan
32:31Okay, on camera one
32:32And action
32:33Did you know, James
32:35That polo is the oldest ball sport in the world
32:37Dating back to 600 BC?
32:40Yes, Sarah
32:40I did
32:41Now, viewers at home will be wondering
32:43Why you're wearing that rather fetching jumpsuit
32:46Are you auditioning for Treasure Hunt?
32:50No!
32:51Oh, no!
32:53Yucky!
32:54Oh, my God
32:54I'm so sorry
32:55This is polo, Ralph Lauren
32:57We have Beatty standing by to take over
32:59I can feel it on me
33:00I can feel it on me
33:01Deidre, strip James off
33:02Oh, she's already on it
33:05It's not on my trousers
33:06It's not on my trousers
33:07It's just maybe in the van
33:11Ladies and gentlemen
33:12Welcome to the final of the Russia Cup
33:14At the estate of Lord and Lady Hampshire
33:16We have four-time winners
33:18And last year's champions
33:19The Remington Steelers
33:21Playing against newcomers
33:22The Jones Jets
33:27The match is about to start
33:28Stand by
33:29Let's rock and roll
33:40And they're away
33:49Lovely cross
33:50Combining up the cattle back
33:54Hit!
33:57Who's it?
33:58All the way!
33:58All the way!
33:59Let's go!
33:59Come on!
34:00Double back, save the treasure
34:02All the way!
34:03Ready!
34:04Ready!
34:05Oh, yes!
34:06You have to go through some of the day
34:07Go on, Johnny!
34:08Go on, Freddie, yeah!
34:10Get ready!
34:13Go!
34:14Get ready!
34:16Go!
34:16Go!
34:17Go!
34:18Go!
34:20Go!
34:21Go!
34:22Go!
34:22Go!
34:22Go!
34:22Go!
34:23Go!
34:24Go!
34:33What on earth is that woman doing?
34:36Oh, her high heels are stuck in the mud, Gwendolyn.
34:39She looks as though she needs to go to the moon.
34:44I'll get you some shampoo.
34:48It's wonderful to see you out and about again, Monica.
34:51Tony's accident must have been very hard on you.
34:56Well, we're all soldiers on now.
34:59Do let Hermione and me know if we can help at all.
35:02Us Wickham Abbey girls must look out for one another.
35:07Well, I must say, Mrs. Stratton looks ready for action in her boiler suit.
35:11Art, Sarah has a surprise for us after the final chakai, Reverend Penny. I enjoy that.
35:16Ooh, what's a surprise?
35:17Wouldn't be a fucking surprise if I told you, would it?
35:19Now let's enjoy these fools getting beaten.
35:24They're right back in it now, pushing hard.
35:26Lovely play from the trade for Donny and Sebi, passing between each other.
35:31That's one!
35:32They cross to Jasper.
35:34It takes him.
35:35And that's a goal!
35:37You can see that.
35:38Fuck!
35:39No!
35:40That's a sexy fucking polo.
35:42Fucking...
35:43No!
35:43And with the score now at one goal apiece, it makes it even stevens at the end of the second
35:50chukka.
35:51My lords, ladies and gentlemen, please take to the pitch.
35:55Oh, let's give it a stab, please.
35:59Oh, sorry!
36:01Sorry!
36:01Come here!
36:02Sorry!
36:03He just loves telly.
36:06Which side are you on?
36:08Uh, Carinium.
36:09Oh.
36:09I'm Carinium.
36:10Ah.
36:12Is Master Dog coming back?
36:14Of course.
36:15Are you thinking of entering?
36:16Oh!
36:17David does not enjoy the spotlight.
36:19I like having my belly rubbed in front of Knott's Landing.
36:22Don't we all, David?
36:24David Bow Wowie, if you please.
36:26Ah!
36:28Would you like to watch the filming with me?
36:31Could we?
36:31That's awfully kind of you.
36:33Charles, Fairbairn.
36:35Muffy, short for Caroline.
36:43Sweaty work?
36:46Might go back to mine and, um, have a long shower.
36:51Who with?
36:52Me or my brother?
36:54We know you've been bonking both of us.
36:56Don't play a player, mate.
37:06It's like West Side Story.
37:08The two different sides coming together.
37:11Yeah.
37:12I guess it is.
37:14Do you go both ways, then?
37:17Oh, uh, I just like sex.
37:22A lot.
37:23Oh.
37:25I haven't done it yet.
37:36All set for the big surprise, team.
37:39Ready for the grand finale?
37:40Mm-hmm.
37:45I can't wait to come and see you tonight.
37:48Tonight can't come soon enough.
37:50Mm-hmm.
37:57James, James, right back in the game now, running hard.
38:19Is Rupert the daddy, or is it James?
38:24We've been running to the ladies all week.
38:26The men around you may not have realized, but that's men.
38:30Right.
38:32Ready for launch.
38:33Sarah's so excited, she could burst.
38:35Ah, smile.
38:36We're going to be in Tatler.
38:39No, come on, crack your face here.
38:41Having fun.
38:42A little distance.
38:43That's enough, thank you.
38:44Fuck off.
38:45Let's get you up, then, Sarah.
38:47We discussed this.
38:48It's really very simple.
38:50You jump out of the plane, the parachute pops open.
38:52You just float like a little butterfly.
38:55It's thrilling.
38:55Down into the field, everyone applauds, lovely, lovely.
39:00Is there a problem?
39:01No.
39:02Come on.
39:06We'll look after her.
39:08Good luck.
39:10Tony, I'm pregnant.
39:13Huh?
39:14Speak up, woman.
39:15I'm pregnant.
39:18Oh, you are the face of two primetime television shows.
39:21This is hugely annoying.
39:24Well, we're going to have to start auditioning for replacements on Monday, then, Deirdre.
39:28Come along, then.
39:29Let's get you up in the plane.
39:30No, I can't.
39:32Tony, I can't.
39:35I have four camera crews, 12 photographers, the whole of Raj are waiting for a fucking surprise.
39:40Who's going to jump out the bloody plane, then?
39:51No, we haven't long to go in for final chukka.
39:54Canva James just beat off the Remington Steelers.
39:57It is Campbell Black.
39:58Come on.
39:59That's a lovely fill of work by him.
40:01Look at this.
40:02Go away.
40:03They can't do it.
40:04They're struggling to get hold of him, and he's still there.
40:07Campbell Black going right back.
40:09And he's going to have the final shot of going through the series.
40:12He's going to score for Bill Gates.
40:14And nobody else's hard shot.
40:15And that's a goal.
40:17Go away.
40:20Go away.
40:21Go away.
40:24The Jets are winners of the Roger Cup.
40:45And a lager for Mr. Jones, please.
40:49He looks thirsty.
40:51Can you put it in there for me?
40:57I can't stop thinking about you.
41:02Me too.
41:06It's like a beautiful dream I had.
41:25Fred, Fred.
41:28Didn't he do well?
41:29He was wonderful.
41:31Well played, Freddy.
41:32Oh, I worried he was too tubby for polo.
41:35Hey.
41:35Now, poor Ongs.
41:37Could you, uh, take a picture of us?
41:39Give the camera to Mrs. Verica.
41:41Okay.
41:42I'm not great with these, uh...
41:44No searching for Sharon?
41:45Uh, say cheese.
41:47Cheese.
41:50Love floating.
41:51Oh, come on.
41:52Sharon.
41:53You look nice.
41:53You look slim when you stand up straight.
41:56Okay.
41:57Lovely.
41:57Right, shall we go get a little drink?
41:58It's a wrap.
42:04Lizzie.
42:05No.
42:05No, Freddy.
42:05You've walked off of Elle's camera.
42:08Oh, God, sorry.
42:17I think it's best we keep away from each other.
42:23It's going to be quite hard.
42:25Us being neighbours now and everything.
42:29It's hurting my heart.
42:42My lords and ladies and gentlemen, some quiet, please.
42:46We are delighted, as ever, to host you all here in the grounds of our humble home.
42:52And this year with even more joy in our hearts than usual, because...
42:57The day Hermione and I thought would never arrive is finally on the horizon.
43:01After her sterling work for the Spastics and rebuilding that school in Ghana.
43:07Oh, God, yeah.
43:08Our beloved Caroline is getting married.
43:12We are delighted to announce the engagement of our daughter, Caroline Margaret.
43:20Yes.
43:22To Mr. Gerald Middleton.
43:25Come up, Gerald.
43:31To Gerald and Muffy, everyone.
43:34To Gerald and Muffy.
43:37To Gerald and Muffy.
43:52Well, personally, may I say how fabulous it is to have you back at the helm, Tony.
43:56Stronger than ever.
43:57None the worst for my little adventure.
43:59Ah, yes.
44:00And before Carinium's big surprise today, just to confirm for some concerned viewers at home.
44:06This was an accident.
44:08It wasn't due to any foul play.
44:10I slipped on the steps outside Carinium entirely my own fault.
44:14Perhaps I should wear trainers instead of brogues.
44:17Well, thank you for putting all our minds at rest.
44:19Welcome.
44:19And cut.
44:21Terrific, Tony.
44:21Well done.
44:22Excellent.
44:22How's it on, Jack?
44:23Thanks, Tony.
44:25Glad we got the truth on record.
44:29No threat of police for me.
44:31No public scandal for you.
44:33Win-win, right?
44:40Hold on, guys.
44:58You stayed ahead of the game.
45:00I did.
45:16Mikey, Mikey, shoot this.
45:19Right, roll on the parachute.
45:25Ah, it was boots on.
45:27Good, skin, control.
45:34Oh, he's not.
45:36And that's what I did.
45:42Oh, he's not.
45:45Whoo.
45:47Oh, oh, my...
45:48Oh, no.
45:49Oh, no.
45:59And finally, to today's Rukshire Cup in Hampshire Estates
46:03with this exclusive footage brought to us by Ventura Television.
46:13The match was won by satellite technology mogul Freddie Jones' Jones Jets
46:17with Mrs Thatcher's Minister for Sport, Rupert Campbell Black,
46:21back in action, helping to score the winning goal.
46:24And the behind-the-scenes fiasco Tony Baddingham didn't want you to see
46:28as a Carinium employee humiliates himself
46:31after crash-landing his parachute into a tree.
46:35Poor chap. I hope he's all right.
46:38In the ITV franchise battle between television titan Carinium
46:42and the newly formed Ventura Television,
46:45it was Ventura who won the day.
46:47What?
46:50May I speak with you, Tony?
46:52Oh, this is getting extremely dull, Sarah.
46:55If you want to keep your job,
46:56your little inconvenience needs to be flushed away.
46:59It's yours.
47:04It's your baby, Tony.
47:21Long day, darling.
47:23What's for dinner?
47:28I have to admit, today was embarrassing.
47:31No, darling, I'm sorry.
47:32Not for me.
47:33For you.
47:35You let her humiliate you
47:37in front of our friends,
47:40in front of your children.
47:43I defied my father and my whole family
47:47when I agreed to exchange this house for your surname.
47:50Tony, there will be no more lies.
47:54Or I will hurt you
47:56far more than any mistress ever could.
48:00You want to win so badly.
48:05You make yourself very easy to beat.
48:10Come on, dog.
48:22Why didn't you tell me you were Jerry's chum?
48:24I just can't believe it.
48:26We're going to be a proper little gang,
48:28the three of us.
48:29Well, the four of us.
48:30This must be what love does to you.
48:32I'd completely forgotten about David.
48:34He's not mounting Gertrude in the garden.
48:43You should have told me
48:44she was Henry's daughter.
48:45Sorry, Charles, I wanted to speak to you first.
48:48And tell me you're into Muffy.
48:52I like her.
48:55Do you think it'll work?
48:57Our plan.
48:58Worth a try, isn't it?
49:00I mean, they were an exciting
49:01last two chuckers, isn't it?
49:03Well, I played some chuckers in my time.
49:05Thank you, Angel.
49:07Yeah.
49:09We did it.
49:11You did it.
49:13Where did you manage to hold your nerve?
49:16I held on to Rupert
49:18and waited until Tony publicly absolved me.
49:21If he goes to the police now,
49:22he'll just look foolish.
49:24Tony would never let that happen.
49:25We better be careful.
49:26He'll be out for blood.
49:28Glad you got out alive, though.
49:30Wow.
49:31I got out alive,
49:32but without my car or my apartment.
49:35Well, you're coming to live with me.
49:39Pensacombe Court.
49:41You mean that?
49:43Of course.
50:04You know what?
50:05I'll just, um,
50:06be back in a sec.
50:19I need to explain.
50:23I need to explain.
50:41I'm trying to behave honorably.
50:46Did you sleep with her immediately
50:48or did you honorably hold off for one night?
50:50I was already sleeping with Cameron
50:52before I kissed you.
50:53Well, then you shouldn't have kissed me.
50:54No, I shouldn't have kissed you.
51:01It's true
51:02what everyone says about you.
51:07You aren't capable of love.
51:12Ty.
51:36People say that life isn't a fairy tale.
51:40That happy ever after doesn't exist.
51:44But what if you just haven't found
51:46the person who'll give you your happy ending?
51:49It's up to you
51:50to give yourself the love you deserve.
51:57However, be prepared.
51:59With love may also come war.
52:02And every war has its casualties.
52:08Welcome home.
52:21Most peculiar.
52:24Dogs!
52:33Get the fuck out of my house
52:38You know it's only a matter of time before he did Shishi Cameron
52:42Six days, six weeks
52:43He might even keep you six months to venture her finally
52:48Don't get the franchise, then he'll kick you out like all the rest
52:51Why are you here, Tony?
52:53Oh
52:57I brought you a housewarming present
53:03I don't need evidence to punish you
53:07The retribution I had planned will be far more painful
53:16This is gonna be fun
53:17I don't need evidence to punish you
53:33The retribution I'm doing
53:38That's pretty good
53:40Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
54:13Oh, oh, oh.
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