A cult British sci-fi comedy series following Dave Lister, the last surviving human aboard the spaceship Red Dwarf after a deadly radiation leak wipes out the crew. Alongside a hologram roommate, a humanoid cat, and a neurotic mechanoid, he navigates bizarre space adventures filled with absurd humor, time travel, alien encounters, and satirical takes on humanity.
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#ScienceFiction, #Sitcom, #BritishComedy, #SpaceAdventure, #CultClassic, #ComedySeries, #TimeTravel, #Futuristic, #SpaceCrew, #AlienEncounters, #SciFiComedy, #DarkHumor, #Adventure, #SpaceSurvival, #ClassicTV, #Humor, #BritishTelevision, #Fantasy, #Satire, #RetroSciFi
Tags
#ScienceFiction, #Sitcom, #BritishComedy, #SpaceAdventure, #CultClassic, #ComedySeries, #TimeTravel, #Futuristic, #SpaceCrew, #AlienEncounters, #SciFiComedy, #DarkHumor, #Adventure, #SpaceSurvival, #ClassicTV, #Humor, #BritishTelevision, #Fantasy, #Satire, #RetroSciFi
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FunTranscript
00:26To be continued...
00:54To be continued...
01:03This is an SOS distress call from the mining ship Red Dwarf.
01:06The crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak.
01:10The only survivors were Dave Lister,
01:12who was in suspended animation during the disaster,
01:14and his pregnant cat, who was safely sealed in the hold.
01:17Revived three million years later,
01:20Lister's only companions are
01:21a life form who evolved from his cat,
01:23and Arnold Rimmer, a hologram simulation of one of the dead crew.
01:28The most interesting event that happened recently
01:31was that Lister pretended he'd passed the chef's exam,
01:33although really he failed.
01:35That gives you some idea of how truly exciting some days can be around here.
01:43Holly, give me access to the crew's confidential reports.
01:46Those are for the captain's eyes only, Arnold.
01:49Fine, well, we'll give him ten seconds to come back from the dead,
01:51and if he hasn't managed it, we'll presume I'm in charge, eh?
01:56No, he hasn't managed it.
01:58Whose do you want?
01:59Give me... give me Lister's, just the remarks.
02:03David Lister, technician, third class.
02:06Captain's remarks.
02:08Has requested sick leave due to diarrhoea
02:10on no less than 500 occasions.
02:13Left his previous job as a supermarket trolley attendant
02:16after ten years
02:17because he didn't want to get tied down to a career.
02:20Promotion prospects, zero.
02:22I always liked Captain Hollister.
02:25Such a great reader of men was Captain Hollister,
02:27a marvellous, marvellous man,
02:29and a tragic loss to us all.
02:31All right, Holly, give me... give me mine.
02:34Arnold Rimmer, technician, second class.
02:37Captain's remarks.
02:38There's a saying amongst the officers.
02:40If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well.
02:42If it's not worth doing, give it to Rimmer.
02:45He hates the responsibility,
02:46but constantly fails the engineering exam.
02:48Whoa, whoa, whoa, Holly, Holly,
02:50I want my report, Rimmer, two M's, E-R.
02:54Astoundingly zealous, possibly mad,
02:56probably has more teeth than brain cells.
02:59Promotion prospects, comical.
03:01No, no, no, no, Holly,
03:01I want Rimmer, that's two R's,
03:03one at the front, one at the back.
03:04Arnold, this is your report.
03:07I always hated that pushead, Hollister.
03:09He always resented my popularity.
03:11That's why he never put forward my proposal
03:13to reduce the minimum haircut length
03:15by an eighth of an inch.
03:16Small-minded, petty-thinking modo.
03:19Arnold, I'm picking up an unidentified object.
03:22Constantly fails the exam?
03:23I'd hardly call 11 times constantly.
03:26I mean, if you eat roast beef 11 times in your life,
03:29one would hardly say that person constantly eats roast beef.
03:32No, it would be a rare, nay, freak occurrence.
03:36Possibly mad.
03:37What is he dribbling about?
03:38It's on the screen, Arnold.
03:40What is?
03:40The UO.
03:41What is it?
03:42I don't know.
03:43Well, you'd better find out, haven't you?
03:44It's obviously beyond me.
03:45I've got more teeth than brain cells, remember?
03:49Yes, you have.
04:09Would you like some toast?
04:11Mm-mm.
04:11Some nice, hot, crisp brown butter toast.
04:14Mm-mm.
04:15You don't want any toast, then?
04:16No.
04:17What about a muffin?
04:18Nothing.
04:19You know, the last time you had toast, 18 days ago, 11.36, Tuesday the 3rd, two rounds.
04:25Shh.
04:25I mean, what's the point of buying a toaster with artificial intelligence if you don't like toast?
04:30I do like toast.
04:32I mean, this is my job.
04:34This is cruel.
04:35Look, I'm busy.
04:37Oh, you're not busy eating toast, are you?
04:39I don't want any.
04:41I mean, the whole purpose of my existence is to serve you with hot, buttered, scrummy toast.
04:46If you don't want any, then my existence is meaningless.
04:49Good.
04:50I toast, therefore I am.
04:53Will you shut up?
04:59What are you doing?
05:01I'm reading.
05:02What, with your nose?
05:03Yeah, it's a cat book.
05:04They don't use marks, they use smells.
05:06You run your nose along the line and all the different smells are released.
05:09That's really good.
05:09What a pathetic idea.
05:12Well, yeah, unlike you, remember, my mind is open to new cultures, new ways of looking at
05:15and doing things.
05:16And what does it say?
05:19It says, see, dick, run.
05:22Run, dick, run.
05:24Run, home, dick.
05:28That's the cat equivalent of Shakespeare, is it?
05:32Shakespeare?
05:32Who's Shakespeare?
05:33You moron.
05:34A playwright in the olden days, Wilfred Shakespeare.
05:39I'm only just starting out.
05:40This is for three-year-olds, so you should try it.
05:43I'm not the slightest bit interested in smelling anything cats have to say, thank you, Lister.
05:46You don't know what you're missing.
05:48Remember, there's this brilliant one where dick buys this ball, this big ball, this big
05:53red ball.
05:54It's amazing stuff.
05:56You ought to try reading your shirt sometime, Lister.
05:58It's probably a novel by Victor Hugo.
06:01Anyway, if you're interested, Holly's spotted...
06:04Is that my shirt?
06:05Yeah, I borrowed it.
06:07What's that down the front?
06:08That's definitely biscuit.
06:10Erm, that's custard.
06:12That's definitely ink and just general sort of dirty marks.
06:14You can't just go through my possessions.
06:16Come on, you don't need them anymore.
06:18Because I'm dead?
06:19Yeah.
06:20You're the hologram, and holograms don't need clothes.
06:23They're my things, Lister.
06:24Would you steal Veruca cream from a man with no feet?
06:28I mean, how would you like it if I stole your T-shirt, your favourite one with the custard
06:31stains down the front?
06:33I wouldn't care.
06:33Okay? You've got no right to go through my wardrobe.
06:36Okay, okay.
06:39You keep your underpants on coat hangers, don't you?
06:43That's private!
06:45Okay, Rimmer, okay. Take the shirt back.
06:47I don't want it. It's ruined. You've sweated in it.
06:50Well, if you don't want the shirt, what do you want, Rimmer?
06:52Just keep out of my fingers, all right?
06:54Okay, okay. What's Holly spotted?
06:55An unidentified object.
06:57You mean a rock?
06:58It might not be.
06:59They're always rocks.
07:00Mostly they're rocks, I agree, but maybe this one's different.
07:03Rimmer.
07:04There's nothing out there, you know.
07:05There's nobody out there.
07:06No alien monsters.
07:08No Zargon warships.
07:10No beautiful blondes with beehive hairdos who say,
07:13show me some more of this earth thing called kissing.
07:15It's just you, me, the cat, and a lot of floating, smegging rocks.
07:20That's it.
07:21Finito.
07:22Listen, if there's no one out there, what's the point in existence?
07:24Why are we here?
07:25Beats me.
07:26You want some toast?
07:29Arnold, the unidentified object is now in visual range.
07:33All right, Holly.
07:34I'm on my way.
07:43Oh, nice jump.
07:46Hey, smooth, with a capital smooth.
07:51Okay, time to get out the food detector.
07:56Food, this way.
07:58Ow.
08:00Oh, yeah, yeah.
08:03This way.
08:06Ow, this way.
08:08Yay.
08:10Ah, you.
08:12Where have you been?
08:13Investigating.
08:14Investigating this.
08:15Investigating that.
08:16General investigation.
08:17General investigation, eh?
08:19Yeah.
08:19Ah, splendid.
08:22Keep it up.
08:23Okay.
08:24Fine.
08:25Well, if you'll just excuse me.
08:26Hey, you can't have my shiny thing.
08:28I found it.
08:28It's my shiny thing.
08:30What are you driveling about?
08:33This is my shiny thing.
08:35And if you try and take it off me, I may have to eat you.
08:38It's a yo-yo, you modo.
08:40It does two amazing things.
08:42One, you have the shiny thing at the top and the string down below.
08:45Or, and this is the clever part, you have the string at the top and shiny thing down here
08:50where the string used to be.
08:51Yeah.
08:54Hey, hey.
08:56Ow.
08:57Oh, wee.
08:59You haven't the slightest clue what it's for, do you?
09:01Why, sure I do, grease stain.
09:02You hold a shiny thing in one hand and you go,
09:07The string's moving
09:08Hey, stop that string
09:10Stop that string
09:15Where is it?
09:17It's in scoop rain, John
09:18It's a pod
09:20Holly, bring it in
09:27Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm back
09:29Feeling good
09:30Feed me
09:31Cat, hi
09:32I haven't seen you for ages
09:34Where have you been?
09:35Investigating
09:35Got you some crispies
09:37Yeah, yeah, yeah
09:40Hey, look at the book you gave me, you know
09:41It's got a brilliant ending
09:43I could hardly believe me nose
09:45Forget that, got you this
09:47The one you asked about, the holy book
09:49Oh, great
09:57Hey, pictures
09:58Yeah, that's a cat thing
10:00You see, sometimes in a book
10:02We have a drawing of something that is happening in the story
10:04And we call them pictures
10:06Yeah, yeah, we know the pictures too
10:07You monkeys are smarter than I thought
10:38This is me?
10:39I am your god
10:41I am your god
10:47Turn this into a woman
10:50I'm serious
10:51So am I
10:54Frankenstein was my pet cat, right?
10:56And she was pregnant
10:57Now I got put into suspended animation
10:59I was supposed to be there for 18 months
11:01But I didn't get out for 3 million years
11:03You oversleep, so do I
11:05No
11:06What I'm saying is that over those 3 million years
11:09Your entire race of people evolved from my pet cat
11:13I got to go now, man
11:14But let's do lunch sometime
11:17I'll put it in my diary
11:1912.30, lunch with God
11:22And your formal drinks, you know what I'm saying?
11:25It is true, you know
11:26Yeah?
11:27Then I got to ask you the ultimate question
11:28If you're God, why that face?
11:33What's wrong with me face?
11:34What's wrong with your face?
11:35It's upside down and inside out
11:37What's wrong with you?
11:39Ow!
11:41Holly?
11:42Yes, Dave?
11:43If I give you my cat dictionary
11:44Can you translate this for me?
11:47Well, give it a go, Dave
11:48Why always asking him?
11:50I'll do it
11:50You're a toaster
11:52Yeah, I was thinking of packing it in
11:54It's turning me into something I don't like
11:56I'm not a moaner by nature, you know
11:58No, by nature, you're a toaster
12:00Yeah, it just strikes me
12:01There might be something more
12:02Something greater
12:03Something unimaginably more splendid
12:06than heating bread
12:09Lister, it's arrived
12:11What has?
12:12The UO, it's a pod
12:13Where?
12:13The observation room
12:14Yes!
12:15No point in running, Lister
12:17It's mine
12:18I found it
12:19I've got bagsies
12:21He's such a child, that boy
12:26Is it safe, Holly?
12:28Yes, Dave
12:30Lister, no point in running
12:32I found it
12:32And it's mine
12:33Calm down
12:34Dead people can have heart attacks too, you know
12:36What is it?
12:38I don't know
12:38It's obviously some sort of alien capsule
12:40And clearly they're intelligent, Lister
12:42Ah, the chance to meet an intelligent life form
12:45After 18 weeks alone with you
12:47Okay, Mr. Intelligence
12:49What are those markings?
12:51I don't know
12:52I don't speak alien, you gimboid
12:58What are you doing, Lister?
12:59We don't know if it's safe
13:01It's quarantined
13:01You might get some squiggly, slimy thing stuck to your face
13:05Of course it's safe
13:06Come in
13:07Come on, come in
13:22But don't think you're coming out of there
13:24You're in there for a month
13:25You're in quarantine
13:26What did you say, Rimet?
13:29Why'd you never do what I tell you, eh?
13:31Don't you think there's a shining good reason why I'm your superior?
13:34Yeah
13:34You've been with the company for 15 years
13:36No, it's not
13:36And I've been with them for eight months
13:37No, it's not
13:38It's because I'm better than you
13:40Better trained
13:41Better equipped
13:42Better
13:44Better
13:45Just
13:45Just better
13:47So that must mean the rest of the crew are better than you, then?
13:49No, it doesn't
13:49It means
13:51I'm not going to let you bait me this
13:52So this is far too important
13:53Just you wait here
13:54Keep that door closed
13:55Till I get back with the scutters
13:57Tike
14:02Oh, Rimet is such a smaghead, man
14:07Hang on a minute
14:11Give me an R
14:14Give me an E
14:16Give me a D
14:19Give me a Red Dwarf Garbage Pod
14:24Holly, did Rimet have a work in waste disposal?
14:28No, Dave
14:29It's one of our Red Dwarf Garbage Pods
14:32With, like, the writing burnt off in places
14:34Why didn't you tell him?
14:35Well, it's a laugh, innit?
14:42After intensive investigation, comma
14:45Of the markings on the alien pod, comma
14:48It has become clear, comma
14:51To me, comma
14:53That we are dealing, comma
14:55With a species of awesome intellect, colon
14:59Good
15:00Perhaps I might be able to give you a hand with your punctuation
15:03Shut up
15:11Lights
15:14Lister, are you awake?
15:17Lister?
15:18Lister?
15:22Are you awake?
15:24Yeah, yeah
15:25Yeah, I couldn't sleep either
15:28The excitement
15:29What excitement?
15:31The alien excitement
15:32Rimet, it's garbage
15:34You can scoff, Lister
15:35That's nothing new
15:36They laughed at Galileo
15:37They laughed at Edison
15:38They laughed at Columbo
15:39Who's Columbo?
15:40The man with the dirty mac
15:42Who discovered America
15:44What makes you think these aliens exist?
15:47They must do, Lister
15:48There's so many things that are strange and odd
15:51So many things we don't have any explanation for
15:54Like, erm, why do intelligent people buy cinema hot dogs?
15:57Do you mean that sort of weird and mysterious thing?
15:59No, Lister, I mean like the pyramids
16:01How did they move such massive pieces of stone
16:04Without the aid of modern technology?
16:06They had massive whips, Rimet
16:07Massive, massive whips
16:10All right, then
16:11The Bermuda Triangle
16:12Go on, explain that one
16:13You know all the answers
16:14No, I agree, dear
16:15That is a genuine mystery
16:16How did a song like that ever become a hit?
16:18If I was a loser
16:19I just don't know why I'd bother
16:21I get more sense out of a squashed hedgehog
16:23Lister, don't you ever stop and wonder
16:25Why are we here?
16:26What's the grand purpose?
16:29Why does it have to be such a big deal?
16:31Why can't it be like, you know
16:32Human beings are a planetary disease
16:35Like the Earth's got German measles
16:37Or facial hairpies, right?
16:39And that's why all the other planets give us such a wide berth
16:42It's like, oh, don't go near Earth
16:44It's got human beings, aren't they contagious?
16:46So you're saying, Lister
16:47You're an intergalactic, pus-filled cold sore
16:51At last, Lister, we agree on something
16:55What do you believe in, then?
16:56Do you believe in God?
16:57God, certainly not
16:58What a preposterous thought
17:00I believe in aliens, Lister
17:02Oh, right, fine
17:03Something sensible at last
17:06Aliens, Lister, with technology
17:07So far in advance of our own
17:09We can't even begin to imagine
17:11Look, that's not difficult
17:12Mankind doesn't even get the technology
17:14To create a toupee
17:15That doesn't get big laughs
17:18Aliens, Lister
17:18Who can give me a real body
17:20Oh, I can't wait to see your face in the morning
17:23I really can't
17:26And nor are I yours, Lister
17:27When that pot opens
17:28And from it emerges
17:29A beautiful alien woman
17:31With long green hair
17:32And six breasts
17:36Six breasts
17:38Imagine making love to a woman
17:40With six breasts
17:41Imagine making love to a woman
17:52Good morning
17:53How can I help you?
17:55Buongiorno
17:56Give me breakfast
17:58What would you like?
17:59A chicken vindaloo
18:01And a milkshake
18:02What flavour milkshake?
18:04Erm, beer
18:08Morning, Dave
18:09I've finished your translation
18:11Who's Cloyster?
18:12Is it me?
18:13Yes, Dave
18:13The cats have made you their god
18:15Hey, working class kid makes good
18:18Your plan to buy a farm on Fiji
18:21And open up a hot dog and donut diner
18:23Has become their image of heaven
18:24What?
18:26And Cloyster spake
18:27Lo, I shall lead you to Fushal
18:29And there we shall open a temple of food
18:32Wherein shall be sausages
18:33And savoury doughnuts
18:34And all manner of bountiful things
18:36Yea, even individual sachets of mustard
18:41And those who serve
18:42Shall wear hats of great majesty
18:44Yea, though they be made of coloured cardboard
18:46And have humorous arrows through the top
18:50Does it say what happened to the rest of the cats?
18:53Holy wars
18:54There were thousands of years of fighting, Dave
18:56Between the two factions
18:57What two factions?
18:59The ones who believe the hats should be red
19:01And the ones who believe the hats should be blue
19:03Do you mean they had a war over whether the donut diner hats were red or blue?
19:07Yea, most of them were killed fighting about that
19:10It's daft really, isn't it?
19:12You're not kidding
19:12They were supposed to be green
19:18Go on, Hop
19:19Well, finally they called a truce
19:21And built two arks and left red dwarf in search of Fushal
19:24But there's no such place as Fushal
19:26It's Fiji
19:27I mean, how are they supposed to find it?
19:29And Cloyster gave to Frankenstein the sacred writing
19:31Saying
19:32Those who have wisdom will know its meaning
19:34And it was written thus
19:37Seven socks
19:37One shirt
19:39That's my laundry list
19:41I'll line the cat's basket with me laundry list
19:44The blue hats thought it was a star chart leading to the promised land
19:48Well, it wasn't
19:49It was my dirty washing
19:52What happened next, Hop?
19:54And the ark that left first followed the sacred science
19:56And lo, they flew straight into an asteroid
20:00And the righteous in the second ark flew ever onward
20:03Knowing they were indeed righteous
20:05This is terrible
20:07Holy wars
20:08Killing
20:08They're just using religion as an excuse to be extremely crappy to each other
20:12So what else is new?
20:16I'm not interested
20:17And they're killing each other over which coloured cardboard hat to wear
20:20I'm not interested
20:21Don't you think it's amazing?
20:23No
20:23You know what happened to people who didn't eat hot dogs on Fushal Day?
20:27They were stoned to death by stale doughnuts
20:29Listen, what do you want me to say?
20:31Congratulations, you're God
20:32I'm talking about the suffering
20:34I mean, people died
20:35I mean, cats, that cat people died
20:38You've just come here to rub my nose in it
20:40I could have been God, you know
20:41Given a different start in life
20:43Given the lucky showbiz break you had
20:45I don't want to be a God
20:46That's the point
20:47No, vomitisation
20:49I don't believe it
20:51I'm God, but it's a bit of a drag, actually
20:53Come on
20:53I'm not a God
20:55I've just been misquoted
20:57Mister, for my money
20:58Anyone who goes around reading meaning into any old gobbledygook
21:01Deserves everything they get
21:02I mean, if I had eight socks on me laundry list instead of seven
21:06Or if I owned more than one pair of underpants
21:08They might have been safe
21:10I just wish I could meet them and explain and apologise
21:14Well, that would look spectacular, wouldn't it, Lister?
21:16God returns in all his splendour and says, sorry, it's all been a total cock-up
21:21I didn't ask for this
21:22I didn't ask to become their God
21:24I didn't ask to be killed, Lister
21:26Life's a bitch
21:26Now, Smeg off, I'm busy
21:27I mean, they just made stuff up, you know
21:29I'm supposed to have given them five sacred laws
21:31Five sacred laws
21:33I've broken four of them myself
21:35I've broken the fifth, but there's no sheep on board
21:39Bye-bye
21:40I mean, Rimmer, what sort of holy writ is this, Rimmer?
21:43It is a sin to be cool
21:45Look, I'm sick of hearing about these stupid cats
21:47My concerns are slightly more meaningful
21:49Than what coloured stupid, smegging cardboard hat I'm wearing
21:53I'm trying to decipher this
21:54This is science, laddie
21:57You can smirk, Lister, but I believe the Quaigars
22:00Quaigars?
22:01Quaigars, it's a name I made up
22:03Double A, actually
22:04I believe the Quaigars have the technology to give me a new body
22:07Never mind this, Tot
22:09Where's the cat?
22:10Tot
22:10Tot
22:11Tot
22:12Tot
22:13Tot
22:13Tot
22:14Tot
22:14Tot
22:14We'll soon see how totty it is, laddie
22:16The quarantine period's nearly up
22:19Bastard
22:23Cat
22:23Cat
22:27Holly, where's the cat?
22:29He's no longer in my supervision field, Dave
22:31He's gone down to the cargo decks
22:33I lost him as he entered supply pipe 28
22:38Cat
22:41Cat
22:41Cat, come on
22:43Cat
22:47Come on kitty kitty
22:49Cat, come on
22:52The crispies are going warm
22:54Cat, come on
22:56Cat, come on
22:56Cat, come on
22:58Ow, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
23:01Hey fellas
23:03Yes sir, I'm back
23:05Feeling good
23:07Feed me
23:08You're always leaving me, where do you go?
23:11Investigating
23:12Investigating
23:12Investigating
23:12See, I have these feet
23:13I'm dying
23:14I'm telling you about my feet
23:16My investigating feet
23:18Don't you hear me?
23:19I'm dying
23:21Yeah, but I'm telling you about my feet
23:23Oh, why should you listen to me?
23:26The blind old priest that's lost his faith
23:29I'm not listening to you
23:31I'm trying to tell you about my feet
23:33What do you care?
23:34I don't care
23:35You're the one who's doing the dying, not me
23:37Why should I let it spoil my evening?
23:41Cat
23:45Cat
23:48Cat
23:48Cat
23:50Uh-oh
23:51Cat, when I get you, I'm going to turn you into a kebab
23:56Cat
23:56Holly, can you still hear me?
24:02Cat
24:03Cat
24:05Yeah
24:06Burn
24:07The sacred hat
24:09That's a fearsome hat
24:11Burn it, burn it, it's the symbol of the lies
24:17It burnt all my life, I've served a lie
24:22Cat
24:22Because you're not there, Cloyster, are you?
24:25You've never been there
24:27You don't exist
24:34Who's that?
24:35Who's I, Cloyster
24:37Who is it, boy?
24:38I've told you, it's me, Cloyster
24:40I've retained a bit of it
24:41Is it him?
24:42Is it truly him?
24:44Does he look like a king?
24:45A king?
24:46Yeah, yeah
24:47Is he wearing the donut and the golden sausage?
24:50Yeah, yeah
24:51Then it truly is him
24:55Oh
24:56I failed you, Cloyster
24:59All these years I kept my face
25:01I wore the holy custard stain
25:04And the sacred gravy marks
25:07I renounced coolness
25:10And chose the righteous path of slobbiness
25:13But in the end
25:15I failed you
25:19Why didn't you go on the hocks with the rest of the cats?
25:22Oh, they left us behind
25:24The sick and the lame
25:27Left us to die
25:29But then the boy was born
25:32To the cripple and the idiot
25:34What idiot?
25:35Your father, boy
25:37Your father, boy
25:38My father was a jelly brain?
25:40Yes
25:40That's why he ate his own feet
25:43I didn't wonder
25:44But just one by one we died
25:47My faith died also
25:49You tested me, Cloyster
25:53I failed you
25:55Oh no, you didn't fail, old man
25:57Your past
25:58I'm giving you
26:00I'm giving you
26:01I'm giving you an A plus distinction
26:03You mean
26:04There's a place for me
26:05On full shelf?
26:06A place
26:07You've got your own bathroom
26:09On suite
26:09Court floors
26:10Your own barbecue
26:12On the patio
26:12Double glazing
26:13The phone
26:14And everything
26:14My hat
26:17I've burned
26:18My sacred hat
26:20No, you haven't
26:26A miracle
26:28This is
26:30The happiest day
26:31Of my life
26:42Did I ever tell you about my feet?
26:43My investigating feet?
26:45Once upon a time
26:46There was an old man
26:56Well, are you ready for this rimmer?
26:59Open it, open it!
27:03Well, what's there?
27:04Are you sure you're ready for this rimmer?
27:07Yes, come on you dim boy
27:13Incredible
27:13A stupendous moment in my own personal history
27:18The perfectly preserved remains of a Quaigar warrior
27:23Yeah, right Will, absolutely
27:25They must have looked something like
27:28A roast chicken
27:37It's a garbage pod
27:43More or less
27:45It's a smegging garbage pod
27:47It's a smegging garbage pod
27:48Let me find
27:49What a sweet feeling
27:51Fun, fun, fun
27:53In the sun, sun, sun
27:56I want to lie
27:59Shipwrecked to go with toes
28:01Drinking fresh mango juice
28:04Go finish shows
28:06Dibbling out my toes
28:07Fun, fun, fun
28:10In the sun
28:12In the sun, sun sun
28:14Fun, fun, fun
28:16In the sun, sun, sun
28:19In the sun, sun, sun
28:21And that sign full on
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