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Watch Mo Gilligan In the Moment () free full movie online in HD on Dailymotion (2026).
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:53I took this tour absolutely everywhere.
00:00:56I was in the height of doing television.
00:00:57It was calling me Mr. Saturday Night.
00:00:59And I said, you know what?
00:01:00I want to do a world tour.
00:01:02Not for myself, but I wanted to put black British comedy on the map.
00:01:06That was always the plan.
00:01:07That was always the goal.
00:01:09And I said, you know what?
00:01:11Let's end it in London, but not anywhere in London.
00:01:14We had to end it in South London.
00:01:16So South London, make some noise!
00:01:24I wanted to see the world, because black people, we go on holidays, but we do not travel.
00:01:29I remember telling my teacher for the first time, I said, miss, guess what?
00:01:33This summer, I'm going on holiday.
00:01:35This middle class teacher couldn't believe her mind.
00:01:37She goes, what?
00:01:38You're going on holiday?
00:01:40Doesn't make sense.
00:01:41You're on free school dinners.
00:01:42How was this possible?
00:01:45You're on child benefit.
00:01:46What's going on?
00:01:48And the reason why there's a difference, yeah?
00:01:50Because growing up, right, we didn't go traveling.
00:01:53I had middle class friends.
00:01:54They would go traveling.
00:01:56Their parents would say, Mo, we're going traveling.
00:01:58You should come with us.
00:02:00I said, what?
00:02:01So I couldn't look like your black adopted child?
00:02:02Are you all right, bro?
00:02:05Because we all know the black experience of our first holiday, it's not one of these all-inclusive
00:02:09holidays.
00:02:10It's not going to Ayah Napa, Ibiza.
00:02:12Our first experience of going on holiday is going to see where the rest of our family
00:02:16is really from in a hot climate before they die.
00:02:19That's the reason why we go on these holidays, yeah?
00:02:23I said, miss, guess where I'm going?
00:02:25I'm going to the Caribbean.
00:02:26She goes, oh my God, children, put your pens down right now.
00:02:30Can anyone guess where that is?
00:02:33Holly, six years old, Africa.
00:02:35I said, are you having a fucking love?
00:02:38The teacher said, no, no, no, Holly, not that one.
00:02:40The other one, yes.
00:02:42People, I was so excited.
00:02:44You know, six weeks holiday, you know, and I'm going to visit my great, great grandma,
00:02:48yeah?
00:02:48I thought, wow, I wonder what the house is like.
00:02:50It's going to be a big house, you know, loads of land, probably a plantation.
00:02:53We've got our own workers, yeah?
00:02:56We turn up to this little fucking shack house.
00:03:02No wildlife.
00:03:02Nah, bruv, there's no wildlife.
00:03:04There's a little dusty goat, long nipples.
00:03:08Trying to talk to the goat.
00:03:09I'm like, hello, Mr. Goat.
00:03:10Even the goat's got rude little Jamaican attitude.
00:03:13Even the goat, Miss Emia.
00:03:15Miss Emia.
00:03:17And we all know what the rule was, wasn't it?
00:03:19When you get there, your mum says, don't ask for nothing, don't say nothing, don't do nothing.
00:03:23And I'm sitting there.
00:03:24This is my great, great grandma.
00:03:25I want to ask a question, you know, because that's what you do as kids.
00:03:28Kids ask questions.
00:03:29Some of you lot, it's on a half term.
00:03:31Your kids are asking you questions.
00:03:32Mummy, what's in space?
00:03:33You ever look at your kids and say, shut the fuck up, man.
00:03:35Shut up, man.
00:03:37But that's what you do as a child.
00:03:38You want to ask questions.
00:03:39I said, I'm going to ask a question.
00:03:41I said, great grandma, how old are you, right?
00:03:43Because we never knew how old she was.
00:03:45She got no papers.
00:03:46We didn't know if she was 85 or 85,000 years old.
00:03:49We don't know how old this woman is.
00:03:51I said, how old are you?
00:03:53This poor woman started malfunctioning, people.
00:03:55She's like, well, um, well, um, well, um, well, um, all right, well, um, okay.
00:04:00Well, I was burning, I was burning.
00:04:01It sounded like an intro of a dancehall video.
00:04:03Well, I was burning, burning, burning.
00:04:05Well, um, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, this poor lady.
00:04:10I was like, no, no, just say it.
00:04:11What was the, what was the, what was the year?
00:04:13This woman, well, um, I was burning 19, um, 19, um, okay.
00:04:18What is, you is 20, all right, where's burning?
00:04:21Yes, 19, 19, 21, 19, 21.
00:04:26Who did you go to fucking school with?
00:04:28Harriet Tubman, you are old.
00:04:31I can't lie, I looked at my mum, I was like, mum, let's get the fuck out of here, man.
00:04:34There's no money here, let's get the fuck out of here, man.
00:04:38My mum was like, no, no, no, it's all right, it's okay.
00:04:41You can play with your cousin.
00:04:42My cousin?
00:04:43Mum, this guy's fucking 46, I can't play with this guy.
00:04:47If you go to the beach, you'll look like a sex offender, mum, I can't.
00:04:52We don't do no activities when we go on holiday.
00:04:54I've got some friends, they're trying to do activities, right.
00:04:57There's some activities we don't do in the black community, yeah.
00:04:59I remember teachers saying to me, you all, when you get there, go, go surfing.
00:05:03Surfing?
00:05:04Surfing?
00:05:05Black people just about put their feet in the water, yeah.
00:05:09We'll put a toe in and go, yeah, that's me done, I'm all right.
00:05:13No, bruv, there's something in there, bruv, there's something in there, bruv.
00:05:17Don't get me wrong, like, I love travelling, but I don't like airports.
00:05:20Because you know what airports are like.
00:05:21Airports are horrible, especially when you get to this, you know, security, yeah.
00:05:24Because in the UK, we have this weird passive-aggressive politeness with our security.
00:05:29Excuse me, sir, please can you stand there on the spot, thank you.
00:05:33You ever look at these people like, are you being nice or are you taking a piss?
00:05:36Who are you talking to?
00:05:37And we follow the rules, that's what we do, we stand on the spot.
00:05:40Okay, um, but we have to give it back.
00:05:42We always like the last word in the UK.
00:05:44Um, okay, um, well, I'm sorry, I didn't see the sign to stand there.
00:05:48My bad.
00:05:50And this person will give it back.
00:05:52Well, next time you come to the airport, the sign will be over there.
00:05:55No, thank you.
00:05:56You're just going back and forth with this weird British passive-aggressive politeness.
00:06:01Because we all know, right, the rule in the UK is don't cause drama.
00:06:06Nobody wants to be causing drama, right?
00:06:08Because we all see some drama.
00:06:10I see it in the shops.
00:06:11I see people stealing lure pack.
00:06:13I'm just like, rah, you lot are stealing butter.
00:06:15Is that where we're at now?
00:06:16Yeah?
00:06:17I can't lie, I find that sensational.
00:06:19Because we all look until someone sees us looking,
00:06:21what are you fucking looking at?
00:06:25Nothing, I'm not looking at anything, I'm not.
00:06:29It's funny, some of you lot in here tonight, I can't lie, bro.
00:06:31That butter's expensive, Ruba, I had to steal that butter, bro.
00:06:35We're not all doing ITV, bro, what are you talking about, bro?
00:06:38Some of you lot putting stalk on toast, disgusting.
00:06:44There was a part of me that wanted to leave the UK.
00:06:46I did, man.
00:06:47I wanted to leave the UK and I wanted to go and live in America.
00:06:50I really did, man.
00:06:51You know what I mean?
00:06:52Look at some people, uh-uh, right, bro, you're just going to desert us, yeah.
00:06:55But what I mean by that is Hollywood, yeah?
00:06:58Because you've got America and you've got Hollywood.
00:07:00Two different places.
00:07:02Because obviously, the industry that I'm in, yeah,
00:07:04doing stand-up comedy, getting into film and all of this stuff,
00:07:08television, that's where you really want to go to.
00:07:10And they put you on a pedestal, they do.
00:07:12We don't do that stuff in the UK.
00:07:14We treat everybody how they are.
00:07:16We can see a soap star.
00:07:17Ian Bill could be in this room tonight.
00:07:20We're going to call this man Ian fucking Bill.
00:07:22We are, aren't we?
00:07:24We'll even go up to him.
00:07:25Oi, I know you.
00:07:26You're Ian Bill.
00:07:29This poor man, he will even say, yeah, yeah, I am.
00:07:31Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:07:33Brits, our first thing, our first interaction is banter.
00:07:36Oi, Ian, Ian.
00:07:37Do you remember this?
00:07:38Ian, Ian.
00:07:39I've got nothing left.
00:07:41This...
00:07:45That's the first thing we're going to do as Brits, man.
00:07:49America's different.
00:07:51They don't even understand the word banter when I was over there.
00:07:53Like, even their airport security, they don't fuck around, yeah?
00:07:57Their airport security is called TSA, yeah?
00:08:00There was a guy walking up and down the queue, telling the other one,
00:08:03All right!
00:08:04Y'all better listen up!
00:08:07Liquids out your bag!
00:08:10Belts off!
00:08:11Shoes off!
00:08:12He went up to one old lady, 80 years old, she's like,
00:08:14Oh, I don't know.
00:08:15You holding up the line, man!
00:08:17LAUGHTER
00:08:19I thought, I'm not scared of this guy, yeah?
00:08:21That's the first thing, you know, we're from South London.
00:08:23South London to the world, bruh, what do you mean?
00:08:25I thought I can...
00:08:27Listen, I thought I could disarm this guy with British charm, yeah?
00:08:30I said to this man, sorry, excuse me, sir, yeah?
00:08:33Because I put on my fantastic British accent.
00:08:35Excuse me, sir, can I ask you something?
00:08:37Shall I take off this bracelet?
00:08:38I just don't want it to set off the metal detector, yeah?
00:08:41This one guy looked at me, he was like...
00:08:48Belt off, shoes off, iPad in the tray.
00:08:54LAUGHTER
00:08:57LAUGHTER
00:09:01LAUGHTER
00:09:01LAUGHTER
00:09:01LAUGHTER
00:09:01No, no, what I'm saying is,
00:09:02shall I take off the bracelet
00:09:04so it don't set off the metal detector?
00:09:06This one guy lost it.
00:09:08My man!
00:09:10LAUGHTER
00:09:11I ain't gon' say it again for you Harry Potter motherfuckers!
00:09:15LAUGHTER
00:09:17LAUGHTER
00:09:17I've never been more disrespected in my life.
00:09:21LAUGHTER
00:09:21I turned into a middle-class white lady in Waitrose, people.
00:09:25I don't think you realise.
00:09:26LAUGHTER
00:09:27I started using words that black people don't even use.
00:09:29I was like, what?
00:09:30This is...
00:09:31This is preposterous.
00:09:34LAUGHTER
00:09:35LAUGHTER
00:09:36LAUGHTER
00:09:36LAUGHTER
00:09:37Listen, black people don't use no fucking words,
00:09:39like, preposterous, you know?
00:09:40There's some black people in here right now.
00:09:42What did he say, hippopotamus?
00:09:43What's that one, brother?
00:09:45Hey, Leon, write that one down, bruv.
00:09:47LAUGHTER
00:09:47We don't use this.
00:09:49Listen, no-one in this room has ever watched the episode of Top Boy
00:09:52and, like, Duchesne's like, there's the drugs and sides,
00:09:54that's not enough, that's preposterous, we can't sell all of this.
00:09:57LAUGHTER
00:09:59LAUGHTER
00:09:59But I did, people.
00:10:00I wanted to move to America.
00:10:02You get special treatment.
00:10:04Treatment that I'm not even used to, right?
00:10:05Because our black British actors are doing fantastic out there.
00:10:09You know, Daniel Kaluuya, man, doing fantastic, winning Oscars,
00:10:12you know, dancing Idris, Cynthia Erivo, the list goes on and on.
00:10:17So when you're a black Brit, people, and you go to Hollywood,
00:10:20you get this weird special treatment, right?
00:10:22I'll give you an example, yeah?
00:10:23Listen to the time codes that I'm about to give you, right?
00:10:26I fly out there on Wednesday to film a television show.
00:10:30I fly out there on Wednesday morning.
00:10:31I land, right, their time, Wednesday afternoon.
00:10:35As soon as I land, I've got six missed calls, right?
00:10:37I call this American number back, someone panicking.
00:10:41Oh, my God, Mo Gilligan.
00:10:42Um, listen, we've got to get you to set tomorrow at 6am.
00:10:46Is that OK?
00:10:47I said, that's fine, that's OK, right?
00:10:49Thursday morning, I get to set, right?
00:10:51The CEO, listen to this,
00:10:53the CEO of the network comes down to set.
00:10:56Everyone is panicking.
00:10:57Now, my mom always said to me, be your authentic self.
00:11:01Treat people how you like to be treated, right?
00:11:04He came straight up to me.
00:11:05I don't know if it was intimidation.
00:11:07He was like, hey, oh, my God, wow, Mo Gilligan, wow, big fan.
00:11:11I said, yes, what are you saying, bruv?
00:11:13Nice to meet you, bruv, you know?
00:11:15This guy was like, oh, my God, we're so pleased to have you here.
00:11:18Let me ask you, Mo Gilligan, um, how are you finding your time here?
00:11:21I said, listen, man, it's a long way from home, obviously, man.
00:11:24The flight was a bit long, but it's OK, man.
00:11:27You know, missing some of the mandem, but that is what it is, you know?
00:11:30Hear this guy, oh, my God, oh, my God, Olivia, come over here.
00:11:33That was the assistant, Olivia, come over there.
00:11:35Oh, my God, listen to this.
00:11:37He's missing his French madame.
00:11:41I said, no, the mandem, just my friends, do you know what I mean?
00:11:45I said, I'm just, because obviously, it's just a WhatsApp banter with the time.
00:11:48That's all it is, do you know what I mean?
00:11:50This guy got so concerned.
00:11:51Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
00:11:53Olivia, why didn't we know about the, what are you missing?
00:11:56Just the banter.
00:11:57We've got to get some banter.
00:11:58OK, um, I didn't know about this, Mo Gilligan.
00:12:01OK, all right, what are we going to do?
00:12:03How about this?
00:12:04It's not a big gesture.
00:12:05But how about if we fly out five of your closest friends tomorrow night
00:12:10so they can bring you the banter?
00:12:11Is that OK?
00:12:12Is that all right?
00:12:14People, I don't think you realised.
00:12:17I grew up in a council estate.
00:12:18Fly over my friends in 24 hours.
00:12:22I looked at this man, I felt like saying,
00:12:23Bruv, forget them, bruv, give me the money.
00:12:25Do you think I care about...
00:12:29You think I care about emotional support?
00:12:34But apparently you can't say that.
00:12:35It's not professional.
00:12:36So we flew out my friends.
00:12:3824 hours later, I go pick up my friends.
00:12:40They ain't even got a clue what's going on.
00:12:42My friends are like, hey, bruv, hey, bruv, what's going on, bruv?
00:12:45One of my friends couldn't believe it.
00:12:47He said, bruv, LA, bruv.
00:12:48This looks like grandpa's daughter, bruv.
00:12:52I said, listen, man, we've just got to go and say thank you.
00:12:54That's the least we could do, right?
00:12:55So we went to his office.
00:12:57I was like, look, these are the guys we just wanted to say thank you, right?
00:13:00This guy couldn't believe we'd even done this.
00:13:02Oh, my God, wow.
00:13:03Oh, my God, Mo Gilligan.
00:13:04These are the mandam.
00:13:06Wow.
00:13:07Oh, my God.
00:13:08Oh, my God.
00:13:08Oh, my God.
00:13:09It's like top boy.
00:13:10Mo, let me ask you.
00:13:13Mo, what's the plan?
00:13:15How do you plan to get you and your mandam to set tomorrow morning?
00:13:19I said, I don't know.
00:13:20I said, listen, it's all right.
00:13:21You've done enough.
00:13:21We can just jump in an Uber.
00:13:23That's fine.
00:13:23Don't worry about it.
00:13:24Hey, this guy.
00:13:25An Uber?
00:13:26Ew.
00:13:28Oh, no.
00:13:29I said, what do you mean?
00:13:29He said, listen, Mo Gilligan.
00:13:31Listen, you're in Hollywood now, okay?
00:13:32You've got to think and feel like you're in Hollywood.
00:13:35I said, what does that mean?
00:13:36He goes, listen, Mo Gilligan.
00:13:37Listen, we're going to get you a driver, okay?
00:13:39Anywhere you want to go, you've got your own personal driver.
00:13:42I said, what?
00:13:43Are you sure?
00:13:44Are you being serious?
00:13:45He goes, listen, anything for these guys from Summer House, okay?
00:13:48All right.
00:13:49All right.
00:13:50Okay.
00:13:52All right.
00:13:52Okay.
00:13:53All right.
00:13:54So we got me a driver, people.
00:13:56I've never had a driver in my life.
00:13:59We had this driver.
00:14:00His name was called DJ, right?
00:14:01He turned up, tie, suit, shoes, shiny, seaming the trousers.
00:14:06This guy wasn't even much older than me.
00:14:08He was only like two, three years older than me.
00:14:10Opened the door for me when I first met him.
00:14:11He goes, hey, what's going on, boss?
00:14:13Where you want to go first, boss?
00:14:14Want to go see the sights, boss?
00:14:16Want to go get a coffee?
00:14:17What about first, boss?
00:14:18What about the gym, boss?
00:14:19What do you want to do first, boss?
00:14:20I said, wait, bro.
00:14:21Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:14:22Stop calling me boss, okay?
00:14:24Listen, you're free now.
00:14:25I don't know what happened before I got here, okay?
00:14:30But listen, you're one of them and them now.
00:14:32You're one of the guys, right?
00:14:33I said, listen, DJ, where can we go?
00:14:36Some of these guys, you know, they, listen,
00:14:37they just have normal nine-to-fives.
00:14:39Where can we go out?
00:14:40You know, DJ goes to me, don't worry, man.
00:14:42I know someone, right?
00:14:43He got on his phone.
00:14:44He was like, mm-hmm.
00:14:46Yeah.
00:14:47Yeah.
00:14:50Yeah, they like British dudes.
00:14:51Yeah.
00:14:53Yeah.
00:14:54No, not God and Ramsey.
00:14:55No.
00:14:56No.
00:14:57They like, uh, they like Idris Elba ass motherfuckers.
00:15:00Yeah.
00:15:02Okay.
00:15:02Okay.
00:15:03All right, bet.
00:15:04So he puts the phone down.
00:15:05So I'm like, DJ, what's going on?
00:15:06Who did you call?
00:15:07DJ said to me, listen, man, I just gave your number
00:15:10to the hottest promoter in Hollywood.
00:15:12He gonna text you right now.
00:15:14I said, all right, cool.
00:15:15So people, I get this text from the promoter.
00:15:17The first thing the promoter says to me, he goes,
00:15:19hey, what up, man?
00:15:20I need a name for the table.
00:15:22So I was like, all right, cool.
00:15:23Sent my name.
00:15:24Mo Gilligan.
00:15:25Right?
00:15:26So I sent my, my, thank you.
00:15:28I do my own stunts.
00:15:29Appreciate you.
00:15:29Thank you so much.
00:15:33Jackie Chan could never.
00:15:36So I sent my name, right?
00:15:37Now listen to this, people.
00:15:38He then replies back with nothing but fire emojis, yeah?
00:15:45So I show the guys, I'm like, guys, I'm a bit confused.
00:15:47Yeah?
00:15:47One of my friends gassed me.
00:15:49Yo, bruv, you're international, bruv.
00:15:50Nah, bruv, he knows, bruv.
00:15:52Then he replies back again.
00:15:53He goes, nah, wait, you lying.
00:15:56This ain't no Mo Gilligan.
00:15:57I said, whoa.
00:15:58I said, bro, what Mo do you think I am, bro?
00:16:01Who do you think I am?
00:16:02Mo Farah, Mo Salah.
00:16:03What Mo have you mixed me up with?
00:16:05He goes, nah, man, this ain't the British black comic Mo Gilligan.
00:16:09I can't lie to people.
00:16:10I was like, am I that well known out here?
00:16:12Yeah?
00:16:12He then replies again.
00:16:13Nah, you lying.
00:16:14Tables off.
00:16:15I said, bruv, phone me now.
00:16:16I got very defensive.
00:16:18Extremely South London.
00:16:19I said, phone me now then, bruv.
00:16:20This guy phoned me.
00:16:21I picked up the phone.
00:16:22Very hostile.
00:16:23I said, yo, hear this guy.
00:16:27My man Mo Gilligan.
00:16:32Why didn't you just tell me you was in LA?
00:16:38I didn't have your number to call in, so I didn't know, man.
00:16:43He said, listen, man, you come down to the club whenever you want.
00:16:46Boop.
00:16:47Puts the phone down.
00:16:47Me and the guys are very confused.
00:16:49We get dressed.
00:16:50We drive to this club.
00:16:51And people, everybody's outside.
00:16:54There's rappers outside.
00:16:55You've got NBA players outside.
00:16:57There's even drug dealers outside.
00:16:58Everybody is outside trying to get in.
00:17:00I thought, listen, how are me and my five friends
00:17:03going to get in this club?
00:17:04We just...
00:17:05I said, listen, what's the protocol?
00:17:07Could you just park across the side of the road?
00:17:09How does this work?
00:17:10Do you know what I mean?
00:17:10Are we going to go in?
00:17:11Are you going to go and get some food?
00:17:12Maybe come back?
00:17:13Should I text you?
00:17:14DJ said to me, he goes, listen, man,
00:17:16I'm going to be out here waiting all night.
00:17:19I said, what?
00:17:19So if we go in there and have the time of our life,
00:17:22you're telling me you're going to be waiting here?
00:17:24DJ said to me, yeah, man, all night.
00:17:26I can't lie, people.
00:17:27I felt so bad for this guy.
00:17:29Not my friends on the other hand.
00:17:30All right, bye.
00:17:31Take care.
00:17:31DJ, let's go.
00:17:32Fuck this guy.
00:17:32Let's go.
00:17:34I said, you know what, DJ?
00:17:35I said, listen, come out with us, man.
00:17:37It's the least we can do.
00:17:38DJ, you sure, boss?
00:17:39I can come out with you?
00:17:40You sure, boss?
00:17:41You mean that?
00:17:42I said, bro, stop calling me boss.
00:17:44This is not Django.
00:17:44Come out.
00:17:45You're one of the guys now.
00:17:46Okay?
00:17:47So we walk up to the club.
00:17:48We're outside.
00:17:49Everyone's outside trying to get in.
00:17:51I thought, how are me, my five friends from London,
00:17:54and a driver going to get into this club
00:17:55with the caliber of people already trying to get in?
00:17:58I thought, you know what?
00:17:59I'm going to spare myself the embarrassment.
00:18:01Let me text the promoter, and I said, listen,
00:18:03thank you so much for organizing this table
00:18:06at such short notice, but me and the guys
00:18:08are going to leave it, grab a drink round the corner.
00:18:10See you.
00:18:11Sent this text.
00:18:13People, I promise you, I swear to you,
00:18:15on my mother's life, yeah?
00:18:17She's standing up there.
00:18:20If I'm lying, out of nowhere, she'll go,
00:18:22yo, what the blood fire I did?
00:18:25I sent this text, people, and then all you could hear
00:18:28was a voice from the front of the club go,
00:18:31hey!
00:18:33Hey!
00:18:35Everyone, back up!
00:18:38Mo Gilligan coming through.
00:18:41People, for the first time in my life,
00:18:43I was like, bro, there's two Mo Gilligans in here tonight.
00:18:45What are the chances...
00:18:47of that?
00:18:48One of my boys does that thing
00:18:49where he pokes me in the side,
00:18:50he's like, brother, that's you.
00:18:51Boop!
00:18:52He pokes me in the side.
00:18:52I'm mad ticklish.
00:18:53So I was like, ah!
00:18:54I said, brother, don't do that, bro.
00:18:55I'm trying to be cool.
00:18:57So we start walking towards the queue.
00:18:59Now, the weirdest thing happened,
00:19:00as we start walking to the queue,
00:19:02people start parting like I was flipping Moses, right?
00:19:05And I'm walking, and as I get walking, I'm closer.
00:19:08I've got all the guys behind me,
00:19:10all my friends are like, what?
00:19:11What, is that you, yeah?
00:19:12Is that you, yeah?
00:19:12I'm like, you, man, chill, man.
00:19:13You, man, chill, man.
00:19:14We're not there yet, man.
00:19:14You, man, chill.
00:19:15We get closer.
00:19:16I can hear these girls in the queue saying stuff.
00:19:19Oh, my God.
00:19:20I know who that is.
00:19:20I'm like, stop lying.
00:19:21No goggle box in LA.
00:19:22Shut up, man.
00:19:24Please, man.
00:19:25Then there was this six-foot-seven NBA player, right?
00:19:28He's in my way.
00:19:29So I'm being extremely humble.
00:19:30I'm like, sorry, my...
00:19:31Sorry, my God, that's me.
00:19:32Just trying to come through.
00:19:33Sorry, excuse me, bro.
00:19:33This guy was pretending like he couldn't hear or see me.
00:19:36I don't know who that is.
00:19:37So I was like, sorry, bro, excuse me.
00:19:39Excuse me.
00:19:42I was like, come on.
00:19:43I said, I can't.
00:19:43I've got this guy in the way.
00:19:44Here the promoter.
00:19:45Hey!
00:19:46You!
00:19:46Back up!
00:19:49That's Mo Gilligan coming through.
00:19:52People, let me tell you something.
00:19:53I walked past this guy like I thought I was LeBron James,
00:19:55and I was like, coming through, bro.
00:19:59Coming through, bro.
00:20:00We get to the front.
00:20:01They take off the thing.
00:20:02Cha-ching!
00:20:03We go through.
00:20:04We didn't get searched.
00:20:05We didn't get searched.
00:20:06Yeah?
00:20:07One of my boys were like, bro, I've got a bag of weed in my bum.
00:20:09I was like, bro, shh.
00:20:13Then as we get through, we hear someone say, hey, hey.
00:20:16I'm thinking, oh, we're going to get turfed, right?
00:20:17The manager came out.
00:20:19The manager came out.
00:20:20He was like, oh, my God, Mo Gilligan.
00:20:22Oh, my God.
00:20:22What a pleasure it is to have you in my venue.
00:20:25Thank you so much for choosing my club.
00:20:27I just need two things before you guys enter.
00:20:29I just need a credit card and ID.
00:20:31Is that okay?
00:20:32Oh, my God.
00:20:33I said, you, man, don't worry.
00:20:33It's on me tonight.
00:20:34I gave him a credit card, gave him an ID.
00:20:36Now, people, the problem in Hollywood is people just want to have a connection with you because
00:20:41they hear where you're from.
00:20:42Yeah?
00:20:43Sometimes they'll say things that don't make any sense.
00:20:45The club owner said to me, oh, my God, wait.
00:20:47Oh, my God.
00:20:48Oh, my God.
00:20:48You guys are from London, right?
00:20:50I said, yeah, man, we're from London, man.
00:20:51Hey, this guy.
00:20:51Oh, my God.
00:20:52That's insane.
00:20:53Me and my wife went to Barcelona last year.
00:20:56Yeah.
00:20:57Yeah.
00:20:57Yeah.
00:20:58One of my boys, that's not even fucking.
00:21:00Hey, shh.
00:21:01Yeah, man.
00:21:01Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:21:03Then we get escorted into the club, people, right?
00:21:05We go to our section.
00:21:07I see some other guys from London.
00:21:08They notice me.
00:21:09They're like, rah, what?
00:21:11Man like more, yeah?
00:21:12Okay.
00:21:12What?
00:21:12Is that what you're doing?
00:21:13I can't lie, people.
00:21:14I got a little bit of gas.
00:21:15I said, allow me, bruh.
00:21:16Allow me, bruh.
00:21:17Allow me, bruh.
00:21:17Allow me, bruh.
00:21:18I said, listen, guys, listen.
00:21:19I've got my own table.
00:21:20Come follow me.
00:21:21They said, you sure?
00:21:21I said, come, man.
00:21:22So we go to this section, people, right?
00:21:24And the section was tight.
00:21:25It wasn't a big section, my friend.
00:21:27It was so tight.
00:21:28You had 12 black guys in this small section, trying to dance.
00:21:31All our elbows, all our arms are touching.
00:21:35But I thought, you know what?
00:21:35This is okay.
00:21:36If I died tonight, being in Hollywood with my friends,
00:21:39I'll be a happy man, right?
00:21:40Then the promoter came up to me.
00:21:42He goes, ha!
00:21:43My man, Mo Gilligan.
00:21:45What's going on?
00:21:46I said, listen, thank you so much, man.
00:21:47Listen, I really appreciate what you've organised for us
00:21:50as such last minute.
00:21:51Thank you so much, man.
00:21:52You know, he goes, hey, how you finding it?
00:21:54I said, no, I'm finding it great, man.
00:21:55I said, listen, it's a little bit tight in there,
00:21:57but it is what it is.
00:21:58What?
00:22:00I said, no, it's a little bit tight in there,
00:22:02but it is what it is.
00:22:03What?
00:22:03Nah.
00:22:04Fuck that.
00:22:05Only the best for you.
00:22:07Follow me.
00:22:07So he starts walking through the club,
00:22:08pushing people out the way.
00:22:10One of my boys was like, bro, who does he think you are?
00:22:12I said, I don't know.
00:22:12Muhammad Ali.
00:22:13I don't know what is going on here tonight.
00:22:16Right?
00:22:17Then we get this other section, people.
00:22:19This is like a VVVIP section, right?
00:22:22We get this section.
00:22:23Now, this is why I say Hollywood is a crazy place
00:22:26because there was this one man, right?
00:22:29And he was with about eight women.
00:22:31And the promoter goes up to him, he's like,
00:22:32hey, my man, so sorry, but you got to move.
00:22:35Yeah?
00:22:36This guy obviously lost his shit.
00:22:38He's like, what you mean I got to move?
00:22:39What you mean I got to move?
00:22:40Who the fuck are you?
00:22:44Who the fuck are you?
00:22:44Who the fuck are you?
00:22:45Who the fuck are you?
00:22:46Who the fuck are you?
00:22:46Who the fuck are you?
00:22:47Who the fuck are you?
00:22:47Who the fuck are you?
00:22:47Who the fuck are you?
00:22:48Who the fuck are you?
00:22:48Who the fuck are you?
00:22:49Who the fuck are you?
00:22:50Who the fuck are you?
00:22:50Who the fuck are you?
00:22:57Who the fuck are you?
00:23:10Who the fuck are you?
00:23:11was about six foot, right?
00:23:13She looked like a Victoria's Secret model.
00:23:15She was wearing a corset,
00:23:17five high boots and a G-string, yeah?
00:23:20Did you just hear what I just said?
00:23:22A corset, five high boots
00:23:24and a G-string in the club, yeah?
00:23:26So that means if she put her leg out anywhere,
00:23:29bow, flap, sillip bang,
00:23:30and the flap's out.
00:23:31I don't think you lot realise what I'm saying.
00:23:35This ain't when you lot used to go clubbing
00:23:37back in the day.
00:23:38You had a girl in Tiger, Tiger,
00:23:39are you all right, guys?
00:23:40Want some shots?
00:23:40Want some Yike bombs now?
00:23:42Show me, want some Yike bombs, all right?
00:23:45This woman comes up to me, right,
00:23:47with a list.
00:23:48She goes, hey, oh my God, hey, oh my God,
00:23:50what's going on, Mo Gilly?
00:23:52I was like, who's that, bro?
00:23:55She goes, oh my God,
00:23:56you guys must be so thirsty.
00:23:57Let's get you some beverages.
00:23:58Oh my God.
00:23:59So people, I open up the menu.
00:24:01The menu lights up.
00:24:02It's a digital menu.
00:24:03It's got all the prices there.
00:24:04I'm looking at all the prices, right?
00:24:06And as I'm looking at the menu,
00:24:09the menu is looking back at me, right?
00:24:13Now, I'm not going to sit here
00:24:14in front of 15,000 people, right,
00:24:16and pretend like I'm not doing all right for myself.
00:24:19But people, I promise you,
00:24:20I was looking at the price of these drinks,
00:24:23and I had to start asking questions.
00:24:25I even had to say to myself,
00:24:26am I investing stock in these alcohol brands?
00:24:29Because what the hell are these prices?
00:24:31I'm looking at my friends.
00:24:33None of my friends are looking at me.
00:24:34They all became architects.
00:24:35Is that a chandelier up there?
00:24:39There's two chandeliers up there.
00:24:40How did they get out there, bro?
00:24:42How did they get out there?
00:24:43I look at one of my friends,
00:24:45because we've all got a cheapskate friend,
00:24:46haven't we, guys?
00:24:47I said, Jav, look at that.
00:24:48Look at the price of that.
00:24:49He looked at me.
00:24:50He was like,
00:24:51you know how many bottles in Costco
00:24:53we could buy with that?
00:24:54What?
00:24:57So I had Libby, she said,
00:24:58I'm so sorry, Mulgilly.
00:24:59I've got to rush you.
00:25:00I'm so sorry.
00:25:00I've got to rush you.
00:25:01I thought, you know,
00:25:02I've got no one to impress here.
00:25:03Nobody knows me here in Hollywood.
00:25:05I said, it's fine.
00:25:06I've got the cheapest package on the list, yeah?
00:25:09Libby, she said to me,
00:25:10just to let you know how it works here, Mulgilly,
00:25:12because this is our entry-level package.
00:25:14There's no lights, there's no show.
00:25:16There's no sparklers, there's no sign.
00:25:17Is that okay?
00:25:18I said, it's fine.
00:25:19Don't worry about it, man.
00:25:20She goes off.
00:25:21She comes back two minutes later
00:25:22with a bucket, right?
00:25:24A bucket, two bottles of champagne,
00:25:26a bottle of vodka,
00:25:27and a bottle of cognac.
00:25:28I thought, this is fine.
00:25:29This is fine, people.
00:25:30Then I see the Hollywood lifestyle
00:25:32hit my friends first.
00:25:33One of my friends picked up a bottle of champagne,
00:25:35started offering it to girls
00:25:36like it was the last supper.
00:25:37Yeah, come, come, have some, have some.
00:25:39Yeah, no, no, no, no, no.
00:25:40Have some, yeah, yeah.
00:25:41Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:25:42No, no, no, bring your friend,
00:25:43bring your friend.
00:25:43Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:25:44No, it's calm, it's calm.
00:25:45I swear to you people,
00:25:46I'm not even a cheapskate,
00:25:47but I was seeing every glass being poured
00:25:49and just counting them like,
00:25:50bro, that's at least $95 a glass right there.
00:25:54Should even drink the other half.
00:25:55Fuck it, let me put it back in the bowl.
00:25:58Put that back.
00:26:00But something said to myself,
00:26:02do you know what, Mo?
00:26:02Let's enjoy.
00:26:03Let's relax.
00:26:04These moments don't happen to people like me,
00:26:06let alone my friends every day.
00:26:08So I did.
00:26:08I started to enjoy, right?
00:26:10Then I seen the NBA players
00:26:11get their package,
00:26:13and wow, what a sight it was.
00:26:15They had the sparklers,
00:26:16they had the whole show,
00:26:17they even had a sign.
00:26:18I've never seen a sign before in a club, right?
00:26:20Their bottle girl has a sign,
00:26:21but she's looking at us with the sign.
00:26:22She's like this, she's like,
00:26:24with their sign, right?
00:26:25So I'm thinking,
00:26:26right, what does it say on the sign?
00:26:27Everyone on the dance floor
00:26:28is going, oh, wow.
00:26:31So I look at the sign,
00:26:33I think, what does the sign say, people?
00:26:34I look over at the sign
00:26:35and it said,
00:26:36NBA boys are here, right?
00:26:38Do you know what it said just below?
00:26:39It said,
00:26:40Broke London boys, catch up.
00:26:42Right?
00:26:45So I'm thinking,
00:26:46it can't be us.
00:26:47It can't be us.
00:26:48We are not the Broke London boys, right?
00:26:50And then the DJ went on the mic
00:26:52and was like,
00:26:53oh, man.
00:26:57They called out London.
00:27:01So you know they called out
00:27:02my man Mo Gilligan over there.
00:27:06Listen, the whole club
00:27:07turned around
00:27:08and looked at me.
00:27:10I was like,
00:27:11how dare you, bruv?
00:27:12I've been on Celebrity Bake Off.
00:27:13How dare you?
00:27:15I said,
00:27:16nah, man, forget that.
00:27:17I said,
00:27:17nah, let me get some more drinks.
00:27:19All the guys,
00:27:19nah, bro, don't do it.
00:27:20This is what they want.
00:27:21But all was you to spend more money.
00:27:23This is what they want.
00:27:24Black on black crime.
00:27:26This is what they want.
00:27:27I said, nah,
00:27:28I said, hold on,
00:27:29wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:27:29Where was this energy
00:27:30when you lot was looking at chandeliers
00:27:32and talking about Costco?
00:27:34I said, nah, forget that, man.
00:27:35Let me quickly,
00:27:36so I'm looking at the list, people.
00:27:38I'm trying to see
00:27:38what I can afford,
00:27:39what I can't afford,
00:27:40what I might have to move
00:27:40from the Monzo
00:27:41to the HSBC business account,
00:27:43what I might go overdrawn.
00:27:45Because that's what we do.
00:27:46If we know we're going to spend too much,
00:27:47we're thinking,
00:27:48what can I sell tomorrow?
00:27:49How much can I get
00:27:51for a PS5 in CEX
00:27:53when I go back?
00:27:54These are the things we do
00:27:55when we know we're going to overspend, right?
00:27:57So I'm looking at it,
00:27:58trying to see what I can afford.
00:28:00Then, listen to this,
00:28:01the DJ goes back on the mic again.
00:28:03He goes,
00:28:03oh, man.
00:28:08They called out London.
00:28:10Huh, huh, huh.
00:28:12What would Skepta say?
00:28:14Skepta?
00:28:16The fuck has Skepta
00:28:17got to do with this?
00:28:18So now I'm under pressure
00:28:19thinking, fucking hell,
00:28:20I'm going to be on LinkUp TV
00:28:21tomorrow morning.
00:28:23So I'm looking at the menu.
00:28:24I see one thing.
00:28:26It was called Diamond Black Package, right?
00:28:28I said, give me this one.
00:28:30I get this one.
00:28:30It didn't have any price.
00:28:31It just said POA.
00:28:33I don't know what POA means, people.
00:28:35I'm dyslexic.
00:28:36I think it means poor on arrival.
00:28:37So this is the package we got, right?
00:28:40So Liberty goes off.
00:28:42Ten minutes.
00:28:43There's no bottles.
00:28:44There's no drinks.
00:28:44There's no sparklers.
00:28:45I'm thinking, wow,
00:28:46I've really been scammed here.
00:28:48Then out of nowhere, people, right?
00:28:50The DJ stopped the music in the club, right?
00:28:56Then he turned off the lights in the club.
00:28:59Bow.
00:28:59All of the lights went out.
00:29:05Come on.
00:29:06You don't get two Netflix specials for nothing, bro.
00:29:12And he got on the mic, people.
00:29:14And he was like, oh, man.
00:29:19They called out London.
00:29:23They called out Mo Gilligan.
00:29:25Mo Gilligan.
00:29:26Mo Gilligan.
00:29:27Mo Gilligan.
00:29:27Mo Gilligan.
00:29:36Mo Gilligan.
00:29:37He was doing this with his mouth in the club.
00:29:40I didn't know.
00:29:41I didn't know.
00:29:42I didn't know.
00:29:42I didn't know.
00:29:43I didn't know.
00:29:44That he was going to come back like this.
00:29:48Like this.
00:29:49Like this.
00:29:49Like this.
00:29:50Like this.
00:29:51Something like fucking what, bruh?
00:29:56I look over at Libby.
00:29:57Libby's near the kitchen.
00:29:58I look over at Libby.
00:29:59And I'm like, Libby.
00:30:01What's going on here?
00:30:03Libby goes to me.
00:30:04One second.
00:30:05I've got you.
00:30:06Right?
00:30:07And she's wearing a cloak with a mask.
00:30:09So I'm thinking, what weird fucking Illuminati P. Diddy shit
00:30:12is going to happen here tonight in Hollywood, right?
00:30:16And just before I could think, right,
00:30:18the music starts playing in the club, right?
00:30:23Now, Libby walks out, right?
00:30:25She's not smiling.
00:30:26Her eyes are wide open, right?
00:30:27And she's got this weird march.
00:30:29And she walks out by herself, people.
00:30:31Libby comes walking out like this, people.
00:30:33This is Libby.
00:30:34Just.
00:30:38Now, behind Libby, there are two other dancers.
00:30:42And they're doing this weird dance in cloaks as well.
00:30:45They're just.
00:30:48Now, listen, people.
00:30:49Behind Libby, there was four Samoan bodyguards, right?
00:30:54Now, they're holding something.
00:30:56But we can't see what they're holding, right?
00:30:58But they walk out doing this same weird dance.
00:31:01They come.
00:31:04So I'm thinking, what go are they going to sacrifice
00:31:06in this fucking club?
00:31:08Yeah?
00:31:09And then they're all the Samoan bodyguards.
00:31:11They all go like this.
00:31:12Hey.
00:31:14Hey.
00:31:14Hey.
00:31:14And then lift up something.
00:31:15And we couldn't see what they lifted up, people.
00:31:17And do you know what they lifted up?
00:31:18They lifted up a coffin with 25 bottles of champagne in it, right?
00:31:25And then they start marching to our section like this.
00:31:28Hey.
00:31:28Hey.
00:31:29Hey.
00:31:30Hey.
00:31:31Hey.
00:31:32Hey.
00:31:33Hey.
00:31:33Hey.
00:31:33Hey.
00:31:33So obviously, all my boys start losing their shit.
00:31:37What?
00:31:38Hey.
00:31:39What?
00:31:39Hey, Mo.
00:31:40Hey, Mo.
00:31:41Is that for us?
00:31:43Is that for us?
00:31:45Hey.
00:31:45Mum's life.
00:31:46Bismillah.
00:31:47Is that what you're doing?
00:31:49Mo, listen.
00:31:51Listen.
00:31:51If that's not for us, Mum's life.
00:31:53I can't lie.
00:31:54I'm going to bang you in your face.
00:31:56Mo.
00:31:57Tell me.
00:31:58Is that what you're doing?
00:31:59People, I can't lie.
00:32:00I can't lie to all the credit I was like, you, man, sometimes, that's what you've got to do.
00:32:12People, I'm not ashamed to tell you this, but I started losing myself, right?
00:32:16They started putting, one by one, all these bottles on our table, yeah?
00:32:20I thought I was a fucking drug dealer, yeah?
00:32:23But my excitement, it started popping out.
00:32:26I was like...
00:32:38I went straight up to the NBA players.
00:32:40I went straight over to them.
00:32:41I was like, what?
00:32:43What?
00:32:46That's what we do, bro.
00:32:58People, for the first time in my life, I lost myself.
00:33:03I don't think you realize, I've never lost myself.
00:33:06I didn't even know who I was.
00:33:07One of the NBA players was like, nah, I gotta know, man.
00:33:10What's your name?
00:33:11I said, don't worry about my fucking name, bro.
00:33:15He said, nah, British man, I ain't never seen that, man.
00:33:18What's your name, British man?
00:33:19I said, don't worry about my fucking name, bro.
00:33:22He goes, nah, British man, who are you?
00:33:24I said, me.
00:33:25He said, you, who are you?
00:33:26He said, me.
00:33:26I said, I'm, I'm, I'm...
00:33:29DeShane, bro.
00:33:38We sell fucking drugs.
00:33:40My friends said, wait, wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:33:42Whoa, whoa, whoa, we don't do that, bro.
00:33:44I work in IT, bro.
00:33:45I'm on my last warning.
00:33:46What are you doing?
00:33:48People, for the first time ever in my life, I lost myself.
00:33:53Don't get me wrong.
00:33:53I've been drunk, but I've never lost myself.
00:33:56I was giving people bottles of champagne like I was Oprah.
00:33:59here you get a bottle you get a bottle everyone gets a bottle lost myself people i even gave a
00:34:05bottle of of champagne to dj the driver i said dj here have a bottle of champagne nah man nah
00:34:11i
00:34:11don't drink no champagne i said come on bruv whatever happens to ride or die bruv live life
00:34:16man he said to me nah man nah i don't drink that i said what do you drink what's your
00:34:20drink he goes
00:34:21me i just like some tequila i said listen liberty come over here listen this is dj the best driver
00:34:26ever get my man a bottle of tequila gave me the bottles this big vase looking bottle i gave the
00:34:32bottle to him right listen to this people dj starts crying in the club yeah as all this is going
00:34:38on he
00:34:38said nah man nah man no none of my clients have ever treated me like like y'all i said
00:34:47listen dj you're
00:34:48one of the mandem now listen your family he go you you you you sure i said yeah brother your
00:34:53family i
00:34:54said you know what libby give me a bottle too so i had a bottle me had a bottle you
00:34:58know he's like
00:34:58dj said hey man say something real gangster from y'all hood people i'm not from the hood like that
00:35:04i was saying things that are not gangster but he didn't know he said say something man i said
00:35:07auto glass replace auto glass repair
00:35:18dj loved it yeah and i'll replace the glass yeah yeah yeah because they got bullet holes in the glass
00:35:23yeah all right bro it's just a stone chip but hey man whatever floats your boat bro started losing
00:35:30myself i thought i could get used to this hollywood lifestyle i really could man being around my friends
00:35:35being surrounded by all these people drinking bottles of champagne you know then one of the nba
00:35:40players like nah man we got a toast to my man dushane you know the whole club hey dushane dushane
00:35:49dushane
00:35:50dushane i thought wow oh my god let me tell you something that for me was one of the best
00:35:54moments
00:35:55ever of my life like listen forget doing all this comedy stuff winning baftas that moment right there
00:36:01i was like wow this is the forget my birth i wasn't really there for that that moment was one
00:36:07of the
00:36:07greatest moments ever we all took a shot oh one of the best moments ever i said here liberty quick
00:36:12you do a shot quick he get me the receipt i'm doing the last shots i'm a cheapskate i said
00:36:16i paid for
00:36:17this i was like take a bite i said bruv put a bottle of champagne in your pocket bruv take
00:36:20this home bruv
00:36:21one of the greatest moments of my life then liberty comes over i said thank you thank you so much
00:36:26for
00:36:26the receipt i said well yeah you go with him you go people you ever been so drunk that you
00:36:41tried to
00:36:42undrunk yourself for logic you ever tried to do that stuff when you tried to rub your brow and go
00:36:49you start realizing what's going on realizing i had all my buttons of my shirt open i don't think
00:36:54you realize all the buttons were open even my belly button was out my belly button was there
00:37:01oh you are moving mad in here tonight innit reality i'm looking at this receipt i was like sorry liberty
00:37:08um
00:37:12okay um she goes oh my god mogulie oh my god what's the problem what's going on i was like
00:37:17um
00:37:18okay sorry i'm trying to understand um the price of the tax maturity tip could you just tell me how
00:37:24much that bottle is liby was like okay let's check it out okay tax beauty tip uh okay so that
00:37:30one
00:37:31bottle uh casarazole that one bottle is oh it's okay that's just uh five thousand dollars
00:37:41people that's not including the bottle i got for myself package number one package number two
00:37:47i proper looked at this girl liby i was like yeah
00:37:51i know why they call you liberty now innit because
00:37:57and then i was okay um and i'm looking at this and she's like okay what's the problem what is
00:38:02it and
00:38:02i said well this is she goes what is it mogulie what is i said this is she goes no
00:38:06one tell me just be
00:38:06honest what is i said this is preposterous this is flipping preposterous people it went from being one of
00:38:14the best nights ever in my life to one of the worst nights ever in my life don't get me
00:38:20wrong i could
00:38:21pay for it but at the same time i was thinking i was like wow is this a downward spiral
00:38:26of how my life's
00:38:27gonna turn out just going from being in hollywood doing premium shows have your own show win the
00:38:32bathroom and before you know it like i'm just on like can't pay we'll take it away
00:38:38i'm not presenting it i'm on the program bruv i thought wow do you know what i'm not listen i
00:38:46told you i'll be transparent yeah do you know i do you know i thought somebody said i know i'll
00:38:49get
00:38:49this money back i said you know what i said flip it i'm gonna do only fans tomorrow i said
00:38:54this in my
00:38:54head i said i'll make the money back in 24 hours this is i wouldn't waste any time i'll be
00:38:59like let's go
00:39:00to it fuck it bum hole wednesday let's get these tips bro i thought oh my god this is the
00:39:07stupidest
00:39:08thing i've ever done in my whole entire life then i thought to myself do you know what it's all
00:39:13right
00:39:14because i haven't paid yet yeah remember i gave my credit card and my id to the manager then my
00:39:19phone
00:39:19vibrates something wrong what's that yeah is it mum texting me to see if i'm all right people i look
00:39:24at
00:39:24my phone the transaction went through they swat the transaction listen i started questioning the whole
00:39:29banking system i was like are you having a bloody laugh how did you not let this one slip through
00:39:34the fraud detection service while i'm abroad you can't give me a one-time password or nothing
00:39:40but yeah what if i'm in the pound shop buying some bleach and some biscuits
00:39:43you want to embarrass me ask me questions is it you yes or no is it you it's me man
00:39:50worst night in the history of my life horrible man to the point where i woke up the next morning
00:39:56all
00:39:57my friends like bro listen we're sorry to wake you yeah but we just want to say thank you so
00:40:02much
00:40:02i said no guys he said no bro i don't think you realize bro last night was one of the
00:40:09greatest nights
00:40:10ever in my life i said no but bro you got kids brother them kids i don't like them
00:40:16secretly the youngest one that one's evil i don't really like them like that
00:40:20but listen as your friends we just wanted to wake you up we understand we know about the bill
00:40:25but we just wanted to say bro we're never gonna live this life again so as your real friends
00:40:30we just wanted to wake you up and say thank you mo gilligan we really appreciate that and i can't
00:40:36lie people i had this lovely heart to heart with my friends you know because that's what you do it
00:40:40for
00:40:40you know money comes and goes but friends are the family that you choose forever and then yeah it's
00:40:45true don't listen man don't ever give up on your friends it's a family that you pick forever man
00:40:50then one of the guys was like hey bro listen i know something that would cheer you up though
00:40:54you know me and the guys chipped in though and check this out listen we just got your little coffee
00:40:58and a muffin in it
00:41:08people i swear on my life i genuinely looked at my friends i was like you know what i hope
00:41:12your plane
00:41:12crashes on the way home do you think this is enough
00:41:16it was that different time in my life during this time this is about three and a half years ago
00:41:21i was
00:41:21single right i didn't enjoy being single people but i had to go to this wedding people and i'm at
00:41:26this wedding by myself but you know what it's like guys we're able to box up how we feel you
00:41:31know you
00:41:31start seeing all this romance guys don't care about this stuff yeah because there's two types of romance
00:41:36you know you've got those those new couples yeah start rubbing each other's noses and stuff like that
00:41:40hmm yeah she's all excited this will be us one day i'm gonna catch the bouquet
00:41:53and you've got couples that got some years in the game yeah all they're thinking about is hey when we
00:41:59go home yeah let's just sleep that's what i want to do is sleep that's all you care about right
00:42:05i feel
00:42:06like women like romance probably a lot more than men like romance and i don't want to generalize and
00:42:11say all women are the same but women do like a bit of romance man there's a single woman by
00:42:15herself
00:42:16she's crying yeah she didn't even know she's crying a tear just popped out of her eyes do you know
00:42:20that
00:42:20happens men a tear will just come out unannounced just just roll down her face yeah she notices it
00:42:26she goes oh no no no not today not today no i am strong she'll put out positive affirmations i'm
00:42:32strong i am cool i am kind no no where's my crystal where's my corpse where is it
00:42:39but you know what women do that i think is absolutely beautiful right women look out for
00:42:44other women women don't ever stop doing this this is a beautiful thing that you do you know two women
00:42:51are on the dance floor right they notice this poor woman crying yeah they're having a time of their life
00:42:57but they can't help but notice it they're dancing they'll be like hey babes hey babes listen don't
00:43:03be bait yeah but you see that girl yeah to your left yeah she's crying are you serious are you
00:43:09serious
00:43:09yeah yeah don't be bait don't be bait don't be bait now let me not look let me not look
00:43:13let me not look
00:43:14i'm not gonna look oh my gosh and she will she'll go over there women will pretend you guys are
00:43:21so obvious
00:43:21you know you guys will be like oh my gosh shut the front door on tuesday wait there's no way
00:43:29like a
00:43:29queen like you is crying no sorry darling not in that oh polly dress because i've been trying to get
00:43:36that
00:43:37one no way listen babes don't you cry don't you cry not very demure not very mindful come here babes
00:43:43don't you cry they'll introduce her to all the rest of the girls all these women will huddle around her
00:43:48they'll wipe the tears off her face guys don't you cry listen don't you don't you cry because
00:43:53you're beautiful yeah we've all been there because listen chantelle's been there haven't you chantelle
00:43:59chances are what do you mean i've been there what are you talking about listen some women will throw
00:44:04their friend under the bus for emotional support for people they don't know you know listen okay long
00:44:11story short you don't know her but basically her baby father's in prison for armed robbery and gbh
00:44:15is that right chantelle chantelle's like why are you telling this girl all my business for what's
00:44:20wrong with you listen it's okay it's on 24 hours in police custody we all know don't worry about it
00:44:25babes listen don't you cry don't you cry yeah quick quick claire give me your lipstick yeah tight
00:44:31clear no not my charlotte tilbury give me your charlotte tilbury yeah don't you cry do you know why
00:44:36and let me tell you something guys women have inspirational quotes ready to go yeah at the drop of a
00:44:42hat
00:44:43this one is their favorite yeah this is their 90th minute winner this is the one that women love
00:44:48yeah listen listen babes don't you cry don't you cry yeah this poor girl why why don't you cry do
00:44:55you
00:44:55know why do you know why because you're letting him win don't you let him win
00:45:05look at all these witches yeah i've used that one i've used that one
00:45:09don't let him win he's always gonna win don't let him win it's like a loose women convention in there
00:45:17men we don't do none of that stuff we ain't there for no emotional support
00:45:20let me tell you something men we mind our business we are professional mind businesses yeah
00:45:26there could be a man in this venue in the toilets right now crying his eyes out over heartbreak yeah
00:45:33i'm talking he's really crying i can't i can't believe i can't believe she she she would do me why
00:45:39why
00:45:40why why why why listen every man would be in them toilets minding our business
00:45:48just washing the shit out of our hands trying to find out what's happening in it every man just
00:46:19poor
00:46:20Fucking cunt
00:46:27We even tell some of the guys what we guys yeah, cuz guys we like to gossip
00:46:31But when this is happening, we can't be serious a bro. Hey, bro. Hey listen
00:46:39There's a man in the toilets
00:46:44No, no, no, I shouldn't laugh. It's not serious. It's serious. Yeah, what's going on bro? Just say
00:46:50There's a
00:46:53There's a man in the toilets crying swear down yeah
00:46:56Some guys will have compassion raw is it that's crazy bro poor guy you must be going for it boy
00:47:03There's always that one guy is it
00:47:07Let me see this
00:47:18I
00:47:18It's great lesson pussy oh, you know wait wait what are you doing?
00:47:23What you doing Jerome man I
00:47:27Always believe the women have this stuff sorted out right they've always got their car
00:47:31They've got their good job. You know they've got their house all they want now is you mr. Right especially
00:47:37cuz let me tell you something
00:47:38When women get to this firties forties fifties, they're not messing around anymore. Yeah, they know what they're looking for
00:47:43They've got their list and their criteria
00:47:45They've got their red flag list the amount what star sign you are. Yeah, Leo. No, not for me. My
00:47:50ex was Leo
00:47:50No, red flag. That's it. Yeah, just because you were born in that month. No, it's a red flag. Sorry.
00:47:55No red flag. Yeah
00:47:57Then they've got this other list now women add to this list every single day. Do you know what this
00:48:02is the list of X? Yeah
00:48:06Now I don't know if you're familiar with one it kids
00:48:08But basically guys and it is something we do that we don't even know we're doing that just turns her
00:48:13vagina off just
00:48:16That's it pom pom luck off you can't get restarted. There's no
00:48:21That's it it's closed for today. That's it. Yeah, let me tell you something guys anything you do can be
00:48:27a ick
00:48:28Yeah, I don't think you realize try it. You know if you go on a date just ask a girl
00:48:32They'll tell you the most random things you've ever heard when we'll go into great depths. They'll tell you yeah
00:48:36Yeah, like you know when you meet a guy. Yeah, like what what go for it. Yeah, and let's say
00:48:41you go ping-pong with him
00:48:42Yeah, yeah, go ping-pong. I'm like, all right. Well, where's the ick in this? You know men? We love
00:48:46ping-pong
00:48:47Yeah, I grew up in the youth club system. I love ping-pong, you know, they're like no no no
00:48:51no no
00:48:51But it's what happens during the ping-pong. Well, where's the ick in this? Yeah, this one girl once said
00:48:56to me
00:48:56I'll tell you an ick. Yeah, a man chasing a ping-pong ball just
00:49:03Oh, oh wait, wait
00:49:08Found it
00:49:10Ladies can I ask you tonight is is that an ick is that it?
00:49:16Look at you scumbags you never know it's a ick well
00:49:18It's a ick now write that one down. Let's write that chasing a ping-pong ball
00:49:22They'll tell you it's you didn't even think there was a ick that make you change your whole life
00:49:27Yeah, they'll be like remember when he's getting ready and we came to see Mo. Yeah. Yeah, what did you
00:49:32do when you got changed?
00:49:33I don't know I got out of the shower and then I put on my clothes
00:49:36No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you didn't just do that. What did you put on first?
00:49:40Um, I don't know I got out of the shower. Do you know what you done? What did I do
00:49:43babes?
00:49:43You put your t-shirt on before your boxes. Yeah, yeah, this is this is called a Winnie the Pooh
00:49:49apparently
00:49:52Women is like a man who puts a t-shirt on before the boxes look all the women with their
00:49:57hands up
00:49:58Every man just had his bum cheeks hanging out. He's got your little willy this
00:50:06No, I believe the women have icks because deep down
00:50:09They're just trying to find the small things that they love about you. I have this theory people
00:50:13I have this fear when it comes to love. I have this theory which I believe is called the three
00:50:17L's, right?
00:50:18Hear me out on this, right? The first L is the first one itself is love. The second one is
00:50:24listening
00:50:24If you're gonna be with someone you have to listen to them. You know what it's like guys
00:50:29Your favorite team has just lost right that ruined your whole weekend. You're like oh, man. It's a joke
00:50:35How did we lose this one man women don't do that thing don't do that whole we?
00:50:43We but when would you start playing we?
00:50:48You're like babes, please not right now not right now. It's all right. It's okay
00:50:55It's just a game
00:50:59It's not a fucking game is it. It's my life Sharon
00:51:02I've got nothing
00:51:05It's all right
00:51:07You've got me. I don't fucking want you
00:51:11You can't play up front can you
00:51:19And the last L is the most important right that's loyalty be loyal to the person that you're with
00:51:25You know see loads of couples in the house
00:51:27This will be loyal man, and don't get me wrong
00:51:29There's the old-fashioned sense of loyalty till death do us part and all that stuff
00:51:33But there's also loyalty exclusive
00:51:35To your relationship things that you do that other people don't understand right and it's random things
00:51:41You know like picking your favorite tv to watch you go on netflix, you know
00:51:45You're thinking oh, what should we watch you see something stranger things
00:51:48Adolescents top boys super so I don't know you know your lady she sees something she says babes
00:51:52Everyone's talking about that. We got to watch that. Yeah. Yeah, that's the loyalty you've locked it in
00:51:57That's it. We're gonna watch that not now, but we're gonna watch that. That's where the loyalty starts, right?
00:52:02That means my guy you can't watch it somewhere else and you can't watch it somewhere else
00:52:06Yeah, that is the loyalty that you've agreed upon right now
00:52:11Most men like to be a protector. Yeah, so being a protector you want to show that you can be
00:52:16a provider being a provider
00:52:17Shows you want to be in control, right? So what do we like guys? We like the remote control
00:52:21We just like to be able to rewind and fast forward and pause. That's our thing. We want the remote
00:52:26control now
00:52:27Ladies they like their thing ladies feel safe in your presence, right? They can unwind
00:52:31What do they want to unwind with a glass of wine, right? So they go wait wait wait before we
00:52:36press play
00:52:36I'm just gonna have a quick glass just a quick one. Yeah, just a little one. Yeah
00:52:43Just a little one just a little one right
00:52:46So you find your program that you're gonna watch you're cuddled in and that's it you press play bow you're
00:52:52in yeah
00:52:53You're in you're watching your program. Yeah
00:52:5610 minutes in it gets a bit quiet doesn't it guys. Yeah, yeah
00:53:0115 minutes in yeah
00:53:04Sleeping beauty over here
00:53:08Has fallen asleep
00:53:11Yeah, not because she started work early or because you had a long day and she maybe went to the
00:53:16gym
00:53:16Do you know where she fell asleep because she just drunk a pint of wine in five minutes?
00:53:21She's out
00:53:22Now we've got to watch this film that we plan to go and watch together by ourselves
00:53:27And that's where the loyalty comes in guys could you say nah
00:53:29We did plan to watch it together now. We're left by ourself
00:53:32And we watch this film don't we guys could we say you know what I'll have one. I'll have a
00:53:35cheeky one
00:53:36Yeah, I'll watch one episode. Yeah, we start watching it. Yeah, 30 minutes goes by it
00:53:40We're really enjoying ourselves guys aren't we do you know why we're enjoying ourselves women?
00:53:44I'll tell you why because no one is asking us any flipping questions
00:53:49About what is going on. Who's that man? Why did he kill him? Can you rewind it?
00:53:53It's antonio bandaris. What's he doing this away?
00:53:55I'm gonna google it. Can you quick pause it?
00:53:57Well, who's that man babes? I've never seen this before in my life
00:53:59I've never seen it before all right. I'm just asking a question. Why are you so rude?
00:54:04very rude
00:54:06gosh
00:54:08None of this is happening
00:54:11So you carry on watching this program right and then
00:54:14Netflix will test your loyalty right because netflix will say yo
00:54:20Hey, listen up, yeah
00:54:22The credits are about to roll
00:54:25But listen
00:54:27I've got another episode cooking up in five
00:54:31four
00:54:32three
00:54:33two
00:54:35What do you want to do?
00:54:39Fuck that bitch episode two
00:54:42Episode two we know we shouldn't be watching episode two. This is blasphemy within the relationship
00:54:48You shouldn't watch it, but you start enjoying episode two, but what happens sleeping beauty wakes up. Yeah, but women
00:54:55You don't just wake up. It's like some spirit has told you in your dream
00:54:59Yeah, he's doing something wrong
00:55:02And you women wake up out of your sleep
00:55:07They pause it they look at their phone. It's always the same time
00:55:1111 11 11 11
00:55:14The angels told me where's my crystal? Where's my crystal?
00:55:19Wait, hold on episode two. Are you on episode two?
00:55:22Oh my gosh, I can't believe you would do that
00:55:25Women start exaggerating. I can't believe you do that only fell asleep for what five minutes
00:55:32Because love is the best thing man the love you have for your partner the love for you have for
00:55:36your family
00:55:37That's why I do all of this man do it for my family man
00:55:40And i'm now lucky enough to be in a position to just do other stuff
00:55:43But recently, you know one of my dreams came true, you know one of the biggest publishers in the world
00:55:47was like mo
00:55:48Listen, we love your comedy right and we'd love it if you could write a children's book
00:55:53We'll give you 12 months a little advance and you find the best book you want to write and then
00:55:58people as I said
00:55:59I'll be very truthful during this show right and 12 months goes past
00:56:04I get an email at 10 in the morning. They said mo
00:56:07Hey, I hope you're well. Can you jump on the zoom? We're gonna go through the book, right?
00:56:12I thought what? Oh my gosh. I totally forgot about this book, right? I ran downstairs
00:56:16I go to my kitchen open up the zoom with my dressing gown and my pajamas
00:56:21It was 30 people on a zoom call, right?
00:56:25Everyone from this publishing company, right? There's like hey mo
00:56:28How's it going? It's been so long. So how are you getting along with the book? I thought oh my
00:56:34god
00:56:34I completely forgot now. I thought you know
00:56:37I can't waste these people's time. So listen, thank you so much for this opportunity
00:56:41But unfortunately, this isn't for me. They said why no what's happened?
00:56:46I said listen, I've not come up with any ideas, right? These people said to me no mo
00:56:49Listen, check this out. We've got an idea. We love your nursery rhymes. Yeah, your Rastafarian nursery rhymes. Yeah
00:56:57How about this for an idea you could do fairy tales?
00:57:01Yeah, yeah, you could do the little red riding hood. Yeah, yeah, yeah
00:57:04You could do I know goldilocks the gingerbread man. You could even do jack and the beans talk
00:57:09Yeah, because it's copyright free. How about that? But but with a jamaican reggae twist
00:57:16I said what in the turtle bay is going on here
00:57:23The lady on the zoom goes okay
00:57:24What about if you performed a little bit for us in your kitchen we can get the ghostwriter tony involved
00:57:30yet?
00:57:31There's one black guy called tony. We can get him involved. Yeah, how about that? Yeah, he's from where you're
00:57:35from
00:57:35How about that? I said listen, thank you so much
00:57:38But listen doesn't feel ethical. I don't want to feel like i'm selling out my culture. Do you know what
00:57:42I mean for the bag?
00:57:43They said oh mo such a shame. I said why because i'm not a corporate puppet
00:57:49I'm not gonna do whatever you want me to do. They said no mo
00:57:51You know a book like this you'd own the ip and most importantly we could pay you a bit of
00:57:56money not much
00:57:57But we could pay you I don't know like 300 000 pounds
00:58:06So
00:58:08This is the book I performed in my kitchen run the track please
00:58:14Yo, I'ma tell them yo, I'ma tell them yo, I'ma tell them yo, this is a story from my hood
00:58:21about this young girl named red riding hood
00:58:24She just got a call they said come quick your grandmother's ill and she's moving sick
00:58:29So she moves as she grows as she's moving quick she moves as she grows as she's moving sick
00:58:34She sees the wolf in her grandmother's clothing she grab a knife she not really know him the next girl
00:58:41She need a box go by the name of goldilocks
00:58:45Enter the house eat up the porridge steal up the wisdom take out the knowledge bro
00:58:50No, she's not ending there she sleeps in the bed
00:58:54She now live there she sleeps in the bed she leave blonde hair she sleeps in the bed and bed
00:58:59bugs in the ginger
00:59:01It's a gingerbread man sweet and nice pretty gingerbread man
00:59:06They're not enough for the gingerbread man sweet and nice for the gingerbread man
00:59:11Yo gingerbread they wanna kill him and shoot him
00:59:14Gingerbread they wanna kill him and shoot him
00:59:16Gingerbread they wanna kill him and shoot him
00:59:19Him and the nuts and the small piece of gluten
00:59:22Gingerbread contains no eggs
00:59:24Now miss it
00:59:24Gingerbread contains no eggs
00:59:26Now miss it
00:59:27Gingerbread contains no eggs
00:59:29But you can't find gingerbread inside Greg's
00:59:32So right now people
00:59:33I'm on the zoom
00:59:35It's going great we've got middle class white ladies losing their minds
00:59:38Yeah
00:59:39They're like oh my god
00:59:40Oh my god
00:59:41It's like knotting healing here
00:59:42What the blood fire
00:59:45I knew I was doing well because Tony the ghost writer the black guy he lost it
00:59:50He went from code switch to real yard he was like oh the blood fire yard even
00:59:54People I lost myself I lost myself to the point where I forgot it was for a children's book
01:00:00When I done my verse of jack and the beanstalk people yeah run the track please
01:00:04Yo i'ma tell them yo i'ma tell them yo
01:00:07Let me get the handcuffs inside one time yo yo i'ma tell them yo i'ma tell them yo
01:00:13I'ma tell them ima the beans ima the cow clam up the beans dog
01:00:18Dema said how he said fee
01:00:20Fi for one dem fam dem he said fee fi for one dem fam dem he said fee fi for
01:00:26one dem fam
01:00:27I am jack and you can suck your mum
01:00:32London that is my time thank you a lot so much
01:00:37God bless you thank you so much
01:00:42Thank you very much
01:00:43When I say south you say London south
01:00:46South
01:00:47South
01:00:48When I say more you say Gilligan more
01:00:52More
01:00:52When I say more you say Gilligan more
01:00:56Gilligan more
01:00:57More
01:00:58Gilligan more
01:00:58Thank you that is my time take care god bless thank you very much thank you very much
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