Rivals Season 1 Episode 1 | English Sub
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Short filmTranscript
00:10You
00:36This is your captain speaking. Keep your eyes on the board. We're about to go super sonic.
01:00Oh! Oh! Oh!
01:17Did we break the sound barrier?
01:20Sorry, Mr. Camper Black. I didn't know it was you in there.
01:30You see the signs, but you can't read. Running at a different speed. Your heart beats.
01:41Double time, another kiss.
01:47Enjoying your flight, Rupert?
01:49Tony Battingham.
01:51Do you know B.T. Johnson from The Scorpion?
01:54Oh, no. But I hear great things.
01:56Did the Prime Minister give you permission to fuck a journalist in the on-board toilet?
02:01Lou, Tony, don't be plebeian. B.T.'s ghosting my memoirs. Now I believe in laying one's ghost.
02:07Oh, B.T., what's your angle?
02:09Champion show jumper put out to pasture. Now a powerless backbench politician casting round for his next hobby.
02:16Never quite achieving the success he once had.
02:20What are you doing in New York? Whoring yourself around advertisers?
02:23You know if you don't start spending some of that fortune you're coining on making decent television, you're going to
02:28lose your business.
02:29Very much in hand. Just recruited a hot-shit young producer.
02:33Who?
02:33Mm. Cameron Cook.
02:35Never heard of him.
02:38You were. Desperate to work for Karinian. Bit my hand off in vain.
02:43Hope I didn't bleed on your nice suit.
02:47Wait me when we head back, too.
03:01I feel involved in Sydney.
03:06Oh, my God.
03:08Oh, my God.
03:09Oh.
03:12Oh.
04:18Ready to go again.
04:19He can say gay sex is loveless rutting, but I can't make a small comment about the government.
04:23TBC editorial policy, Declan.
04:25Sorry, Deputy Prime Minister.
04:26We're going again.
04:28Cue Declan.
04:32Mr Stratton, yourself and Mrs Stratton have been married, what, 15 years?
04:3715 in April.
04:38Yeah, three children, a wife, a mistress and an all-consuming job.
04:42It must be difficult to juggle everything.
04:46What?
04:47Although your wife, Winifred, has been staying at her family's Pimbleco apartment, which must have made it easier for you
04:52to spend time with your 29-year-old secretary, Miss Sarah Price, who proudly told our researchers that you have
05:01the girth and stamina to compete with any championship racehorse. Is that a fair comment to make, sir?
05:05I, uh, well, the...
05:07Cut!
05:08Cut!
05:08I would look to your own glass house, Deputy Prime Minister, before you start throwing rocks at others.
05:13Bill Declan, if we could just do another take without the slant.
05:15Fuck off, Alistair!
05:16Fuck!
05:18Fuck!
05:18Freak!
05:20Fuck!
05:24Fuck!
05:25Fuck!
05:25Who's this?
05:26Fuck!
05:48Don't know whose bloomers are more of a twist tonight, aren't it, or the Prime Minister's?
05:52We both know that the BBC won't show tonight's episode.
05:55I've said it before, Lord Bandingham.
05:57I'm happy here.
05:58And I'm not interested in commercial television.
06:02Oh.
06:05Director-General calling, save it a naughty boy.
06:19I'm offering you freedom.
06:22I saw your interview with Reagan.
06:24I bet they hacked out some corkers.
06:27We'd put you out live.
06:31Live?
06:32Complete editorial control.
06:35Skewer the bastards on air.
06:36It's halfway around the world before anyone's got a chance to complain.
06:40The satellite's coming.
06:41We're going global.
06:44It's exciting.
06:47You're stuck here with a load of librarians.
06:51When you could be an astronaut.
06:58I'd have to persuade Maude.
07:02Massive house from the country.
07:03She'd love it.
07:04What's a Wicklow man like you doing in Fulham?
07:07Dodging litter and dog shit.
07:08Come to the Coswolds.
07:11Even I have to win sometimes.
07:12How fucking pretty the place is.
07:20A little signing bonus.
07:22Declan, come on.
07:23You're being paid peanuts to get bloodless interviews with one hand tied behind your back.
07:29It's the golden age of television.
07:32You're missing the game.
07:56I got the hammer shot.
08:01But what you've got is all so sweet
08:05You've got to make it hot
08:09Like a boy, I got me to repeat
08:13Give me all your lovin', all your hugs and kisses, dear
08:21Give me all your lovin', don't let up until we're at you
08:29You've got to whip it up
08:33And hit me like a ton of lead
08:37If I blow my tongue, daddy's hand
08:41Will you let it blow in your head?
08:45Give me all your lovin', all your hugs and kisses, dear
08:53Give me all your lovin', don't let up until we're at you
09:05Hello, darling, how was your day?
09:07Extremely successful
09:09Sorry I landed on you again
09:10Yes, we do have other lovin'
09:16Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah
09:46Here we are, girls
09:47The priory
09:50Kingdom, we're here
09:51What?
09:52We're here, we're here, look
09:53We're here
09:58Oh my god
10:22Exciting things are going to happen to us in a place like this
10:24Amazing
10:27Racial love
10:28Bagley best rooms
10:29Grittiest prison I ever saw
10:50Got it
10:50Get out of the mystery
10:52vin, vin, yay
10:52What about who bring us here?
10:56You pretend like I'm here!
10:57Got to give us some space!
10:58Get outta space to get out of the space!
10:58Man, man, I am a man
11:02I'm on the job
11:04You can't turn it out now
11:07Jehovah's Witness
11:08Oh, fuck, she's seen us
11:11Oh, you'll have to go down
11:13What? Why me?
11:14I'm on the lookout
11:15What? For him
11:15Oh, God
11:19Soviet officials have announced that 79 bodies have been recovered and nearly 320 people are missing
11:26After a day of worship, thanks for the day
11:29Door!
11:31Hello
11:31I just wanted to welcome you to all the church
11:34No, no, thank you
11:36We're not on the best of terms with Jehovah in this house
11:40Taggy, just shut the door
11:41Oh, it's not mine
11:42I found it on a lawn
11:44New English
11:44Is it the New English Bible?
11:47Yes
11:47Daddy says it's a literary abomination
11:49He must have thrown it out the window
11:51I'm Lizzie
11:52I live down the valley
11:53I bought you a bottle and some eggs
11:56We'll open this now
11:57Okay
11:58Come on in
12:01We haven't found the wine glasses yet
12:04Tell us the second post here
12:06Oh, there isn't a second post
12:08Taggy lost her virginity this summer to one of her son Patrick's university friends
12:12He's in the south of France right now and not writing many postcards
12:16Mummy
12:16Oh, it must be so lonely for Rupert now he's not show jumping
12:19And the only thing that persuaded Caitlyn to leave all her friends in London
12:22Was the thought of living opposite Rupert Campbell Black
12:25I want him to ravish me
12:27He's a middle-aged MP, Caitlyn
12:29Well, I'm so cross
12:30I'm off to boarding school and won't get a first crack at him
12:32He's bountiful for Taggy
12:33Or even Mummy
12:34How well do you know him?
12:36Oh, I'm not sure anyone really knows Rupert
12:38But we're friends
12:40So not carnally, then?
12:42I'm one of the few women around here who hasn't been ravished by Rupert
12:45Is your husband fiercely protective?
12:47Mm-hmm
12:49Oh, that's my novel
12:52I wrote it
12:53Have you read it?
12:54Oh, no, Taggy doesn't read
12:56She's dyslexic
12:57For a long time we thought she was retarded
12:59Oh, he took what he wanted
13:01I loved this
13:03Talk about getting ravished
13:04Isn't there a very naughty bit with some duck leaves?
13:09Oh
13:09Yeah, the photo's quite old
13:15Have you got another one coming out?
13:16Well, what with the children and my husband
13:18I don't find much time to write nowadays
13:20Hi, I need a shirt
13:22And some fucking socks
13:24Oh
13:25Daddy, that's Lizzie
13:26I live just down the valley
13:28She writes dirty books
13:29Nice to meet you, Caitlyn
13:30You're wearing my socks
13:31Well, they're warmer than time
13:32Sorry, still unpacking
13:33Thanks, love
13:34How easy is it to find help, aren't you?
13:36We are not forking out for a cleaner
13:38Well, stealing a woman's help around here
13:41Is worse than stealing her husband
13:42What if you stole both?
13:47That's Grant, tag
13:48Right, I am going to buy
13:5030 pairs of socks
13:51In such a disgusting colour
13:53That none of you will ever pinch them again
13:55Nice to meet you, Lizzie
13:56Good luck, Daddy
13:57Give him help
13:57All right, let's get smashed
14:00Woo
14:01Welcome to Ratcha
14:13A man walks down the street
14:14He says
14:15Why am I soft in the middle now
14:16Why am I soft in the middle
14:18The rest of my life is so hard
14:20I need a photo opportunity
14:22I want a shot of redemption
14:24Don't want to end up a cartoon
14:26In a cartoon graveyard
14:27Bone-digger, bone-digger
14:29Get these months away from me, you know
14:31I don't find this stuff on music anymore
14:35If you be my bodyguard
14:37I can be your long, long ground
14:42I can call you Betty
14:44Betty, when you call me
14:46You can call me out
14:50A man walks down the street
14:52He says
14:52Why am I short of attention?
14:54Got a short little span of attention
14:56And won't my nights are so long
14:58Where's my wife and family?
14:59What if I die here?
15:01Who'll be my role model?
15:03Now that my role model is gone, gone
15:06You duck back down the alley
15:08With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
15:11All along, along
15:14There were incidents and accidents
15:16There were hints and allegations
15:19If you be my bodyguard
15:25Declan, hi
15:26Yeah
15:29Okay
15:30What the fuck?
15:34Just a man of the people
15:36Don't be jealous, James
15:37At least he won't steal your son's bed
15:39He's tall, isn't he?
15:40Standing next to a very short car
15:42I saw him in Pensacan
15:43I think he looks a lot older in the flesh
15:45Thank you, dear
15:46Who's producing him?
15:47Cameron
15:47It's factual, not drama
15:49Why does Cameron get all the good stuff?
15:50I really can't think
15:53Declan, how much are they paying you?
15:55Why'd you leave the BBC, Declan?
15:56Come on, Declan, give us a spot
15:57All right, all right, thanks, lads
15:59That's your life
15:59Give me the frock out of the way
16:00This way?
16:01You've got the paddy among the pigeons, haven't you?
16:04Who says no blacks, no Irish?
16:05I'm a one-man
16:06Equal opportunities revolution, ginger
16:09What's that call you?
16:12I'm a journalist, not a celebrity
16:14I ask the questions
16:16It's dead on your heart
16:20Where the fuck is this Cameron guy
16:23I'm supposed to report to
16:24Jesus, you don't just ambush someone
16:26I'm a serious fucking journalist
16:29I don't discuss my career with the Scorpion
16:31Shit, shut up
16:36Come in
16:43Where is he?
16:47Take a seat, Declan
16:51What, you're...
16:52Cameron Cook
16:55You were expecting a man
16:57Possibly queer, which you would have endured
16:59But certainly not a woman
17:00And God forbid a black one
17:02I thought you were a publicity girl
17:03No, I'm a producery woman
17:05Listen, I'm not...
17:07Prejudice?
17:07Of course not
17:08You're an asshole to everyone
17:10This isn't going to work, Tony
17:12It's not a chat show
17:13It's a serious program
17:14I want to produce a serious program, too
17:16But there are ways
17:17Oh, we're cutting up
17:17But a sofa with cushions
17:18You've seen the set design, then
17:20I know my audience, Tony
17:23A fucking sofa
17:24You might listen to Cameron
17:25NBC howled when I poached her
17:27Oh
17:28Do you know Charles Fairbairn?
17:30Controller of programs
17:31Declan
17:33We knew each other at the beam
17:34Look, um...
17:35Fatter
17:36I don't miss the canteen at the BBC, darling
17:38And gingerbread
17:39Head of operations
17:43I'm sorry, Tony
17:44I produce myself
17:46I've got Johnny Friedlander
17:47Flying over for your first interview
17:49Johnny Friedlander, the film star
17:50No, Johnny Friedlander, my Dennis
17:52I don't interview actors
17:54Friedlander doesn't give interviews
17:55Not since the sex tape
17:56They're saying he could be the next Bond
17:58They'll have trouble replacing Roger
18:00I've been speaking to Jackie Kennedy
18:01She'll just blab her own
18:03About her old boring publishing job
18:04No, she wants to talk about life
18:06As a single American woman, actually
18:08You could learn something, Cameron
18:10Look, you two log horns if it turns you on
18:12But don't forget
18:12I hired you both because you can get ratings
18:15So let's pull together and get them, yes?
18:17The BBC have put top of the pops against us in the schedule
18:21So you need to be more popular than Jimmy Savile
18:23Johnny Friedlander is a global megastar
18:25And he hasn't given an interview in five years
18:26People will watch this
18:28Book Jackie for the next one
18:36Okay, fine
18:39But I do my own research
18:42And no fucking sofa
18:45Give him whatever fucking furniture he wants, all right?
18:48We all know it's not about the sofa
18:49I don't need this shit, Tony
18:50You brought me here to produce drama
18:52Not a chat show
18:53I brought you here to be the cleverest person in the building
18:56And terrify the rest of them into pulling their socks up
18:58So far, so good
18:58You're a lion in a petting zoo
19:00But we need big game like Declan
19:02To convince the IBA to renew our contract
19:04We lose the franchise
19:05There won't be any drama to produce
19:07You'll be on the next boat back
19:11I didn't come here on a boat
19:13Forgive me, semantics
19:14I flew here on fucking Concord
19:17I paid for the ticket
19:20Worth every penny
19:39It's gorgeous
19:40Yes
19:41There are badger sets up at the top there
19:44And in spring
19:45The bluebells flaying between the beach trees
19:48Like little Bunsen burners
19:51Sorry, I sound like an estate agent
19:52I just can't believe this is all ours
19:54Well, only to the bottom of the wood
19:56And then Rupert will have you for trespassing
19:58Well, thank you for walking me back
20:03I'm really quite pissed
20:08It's like Rupert's back home
20:10Caitlin will be scaling the wall
20:13Caitlin's all talk
20:14She's sworn off and married until she's at least 35
20:16She's got too much to do, she says
20:19And you?
20:21With parents like yours, you must have big plans
20:24Oh, I'd like to be a cook
20:25But following recipes and writing things down
20:28I don't know what to do with myself, really
20:31How old are you? 19?
20:3220
20:34Your whole life ahead of you
20:37It's 1986
20:39You can have whatever you want
20:42So Cosmo tells us
20:48Back into battle
20:50How many children do you have?
20:52Two
20:52Three, counting my husband
20:54He works for Corineum too
20:56Yeah, you didn't say
20:57I talk about my husband as little as possible
21:00He does enough of that himself
21:04I'm gonna get you
21:11I'm gonna get you
21:14You can't catch me
21:15Hello?
21:17What's going on?
21:34Oh my God
21:35There's fire
21:36But there's fire!
21:38No!
21:38No!
21:42No!
21:46No!
21:48No!
21:50No!
21:50Oh come on!
21:55Oh come on!
22:04Oh
22:28Oh
22:30Damn
22:33Don't be shy, darling
22:36Your fields are on fire
22:38And
22:40It's the quickest way to get rid of the stubble after the harvest
22:43Could you...
22:45So you separated them on purpose?
22:47Sorry
22:49Who the fuck are you and why are you here?
22:51What about the animals, the rabbits and voles and birds?
22:53Yes, and the lovely ickle earwig
22:55Should I stop ploughing my fields because it's cool to wood lice?
22:57You're murdering them.
22:58Do you want me to give them a state funeral?
23:00Oh
23:03What the hell?
23:05I called the fire brigade
23:09Get off my land before I call the police as well
23:12And take that brute back to its pigsty
23:16You are utterly
23:22Abhorrent
23:27Yes
23:28Well I was born an original sinner
23:32I was born from original sin
23:36And if I had a dollar bill
23:38For all the things I've done
23:40There'd be a mountain of money pile up
23:58Oh wonderful
23:59Now I must say I loved your coverage of the royal wedding Charles
24:02Thank you Baz
24:04Andrew and Fergie are a modern day fairytale
24:06Well you know what they say about Regis
24:08Enjoy gems
24:10That's Tony's brother
24:11Half brother
24:13He got a good half
24:14The mother had a scandalous fling with an Argentinian polo player
24:17Basil was the result
24:19As was always the favourite with daddy
24:21Despite his
24:23Dubious origins
24:24And poor Tony
24:25Just never managed to catch up
24:27Does he hold a grudge?
24:28Tony
24:28Darling
24:29He cultivates them like rare orchids
24:31Artists
24:32Tony cultivates
24:33Artists
24:34You're in safe hands
24:35We're so lucky to have such a strong leader at the helm
24:38Hello Archie
24:39I'll have the liver and marmalade
24:44And a radicchio salad
24:46And for you sir?
24:47Steak
24:48Still mooing
24:57Tony's son
24:58Working here for the summer holidays
25:00Teaching his children the value of money
25:02And tell me
25:03Is Cameron Cook as big a bitch as she seems?
25:07She is a genius
25:12So we ripped up the treatment aged all the characters down ten years
25:16And gave them some desire
25:18The men were all dickless
25:19So I said to Tony
25:21Our audience wants to fantasize about being banged over the sink while doing the dishes
25:26And four men went to mow
25:28Is now the top rated network drama of the year
25:31Looking good boys
25:32I smell like Sunday lunch
25:33You look delicious
25:34Everybody
25:35This is Lady Gosling
25:36Chairwoman of the Independent Broadcasting Authority
25:39Best behavior everyone
25:41And this is the Declan set
25:43Yes, very impressive
25:45You're rather impressive, aren't you?
25:48Where did Tony find you?
25:50New York
25:50Ah
25:51August 26, 1970
25:53I marched with Gloria Steinem on the women's strike for equality
25:58My mom was on that march
26:01Don't iron while the strike is hot
26:04I think you'll be pleased with the efforts we've made to address your concern
26:07I am not your Barbie doll
26:11And Declan O'Hara's presence on the Carinium team
26:13It just nudges that political dial leftwards
26:16And the board
26:17If you want to hang on to your franchise then Carinium's board needs strengthening
26:21Well
26:22Have you thought of Rupert Campbell Black?
26:26Rupert's presence would give you legitimacy, Anthony
26:29I don't like taking people's franchises away
26:32But Rupert would give Carinium real sparkle
26:35I want to be convinced that I'm backing the right horse
26:39Tell me more about your mama
26:51I mean, they don't tell you when you leave the BBC
26:55Yes, there's a lot more money in independent television
26:58But you're going up against 14 other regional companies just like you
27:02And then there's franchise renewal
27:04But that's, what, once every five years?
27:07Yeah, but the anxiety is constant
27:08Because some other company can just waltz in
27:10And take your franchise away
27:13We may not have had biscuits at the BBC
27:15But all we had to do was make television
27:18Do you think I made the wrong move?
27:20Oh, no
27:21Granada have Coronation Street
27:22LWT has Blind Date
27:25Carinium now has you
27:27You're the golden goose, darling
27:28Take it back and let Tony fucking fatten you up
27:33The foie gras is divine here, by the way
27:39You're the golden goose, darling
27:52You're the golden goose, darling
27:57You're the golden goose, darling
27:59You're the golden goose, darling
28:00You're the golden goose, darling
28:03You're the golden goose, darling
28:04You're the golden goose, darling
28:05Oh, you've already met Rupert. It's not fair.
28:08He's always Willie.
28:10He's vile.
28:11Oh, that journalist is so lucky to be shagging him.
28:15What are you looking for?
28:16Oh, the bright blue Minnie.
28:20Do you think it's gonna happen again?
28:21What?
28:23Mummy.
28:28Now we're here, I quite want to stay.
28:30Taggy!
28:32Oh, let's go!
28:36What?
28:37You're wearing Taggy's dress?
28:39Uh, I wore this to Bono's Christmas party.
28:41It was mine then too.
28:42Oh, you're so touchy these days.
28:44Look, we are going to go and meet the most wonderful people this afternoon.
28:48I'm excited.
28:52Leaving London's going to be good for her and Daddy, isn't it?
28:56It will be.
28:58I'll be okay.
29:00I promise.
29:09I'll be fine.
29:09Hi,çons appear, you wanna go.
29:16Vernon will meet me when the poet lies.
29:20Key to the MG will be in His hands.
29:25Adjust to the driving and I'm on my way.
29:29It's all on the right side of Montego, babe
29:33Sing out, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
29:39Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
29:42Come sing me love
29:44Come sing me Montego, babe
29:48Well done, darling. Great turnout again, I must say.
29:53As I've told them to up the proportion of orange juice in the Bucksville
29:57Don't have one plastered like last year
30:00So, which one is it you want for your board?
30:03Is it the electronics millionaire chap?
30:05Freddie Jones. Don't be there with a touch
30:09I'll get him onto satellite technology
30:11You can ask her if she's made any friends in the area, yeah
30:13She's opened a boutique in Colchester
30:16So you should offer to pop in and buy something
30:20Hmm
30:22Is Miss Cook coming?
30:25Couldn't drag her away from the studio
30:28Declan goes live in a matter of days
30:30And here's our star
30:36Ah
30:38You're even more beautiful in the flesh, Mrs. O'Hara
30:40Thank you
30:41Declan
30:42Tony
30:42We're so glad you're here
30:44Everyone's dying to meet some new people
30:46We're all very bored of each other
30:47V. Maud O'Hara
30:50My favourite actress
30:51Baz
30:52The better baddie
30:54If you say so
30:55So please you can make it, Basil
30:57Declan, let me show you off to some board members
30:59Why don't we get you a drink?
31:01You were wonderful, Mrs. Lady Macbeth
31:17Girl, I'm going to Lord B's party
31:19I turned Tony down, not my kind of crowd
31:21Is that the only reason?
31:25What other reason would there be?
31:29I want your opinion
31:30I'm not paid to have opinions
31:33Now I agreed to ditch the sofa
31:35But why a desk?
31:35It's not a news anchor
31:37Perhaps he wants to hide behind it
31:39Huh
31:40It's not because he hasn't got good legs
31:42I've looked
31:47Steve, move the desk off the set for a minute
31:49Declan asked for the desk
31:50Yeah, I want to see it without the desk
31:51It's just we built the desk
31:52I'm not telling you to burn a damn thing
31:54I'm telling you to move it so I can see the set
31:55Can you do that?
31:56Alright, keep your wig on
31:59That's funny
32:00You know what isn't funny?
32:03Looking for another fucking job
32:15It's better
32:16See?
32:17It's better
32:28Oh, Rupert's arrived
32:34Really?
32:35That's Gerald
32:36Rupert's aide
32:37We go way back
32:41Where's your gorgeous Lord and Martha?
32:43He's not here
32:44Damn it
32:44I have a pile of papers for him to sign it
32:46I can only pin him down at parties
32:47You can pin me down later if you like
32:51Oh
32:54Follow along
32:54Thank you
32:56Actually, I think I might just
33:00Lizzie
33:02Lizzie
33:03Um, I think their mum wants you
33:06He doesn't want me
33:07That's my husband
33:10That's all
33:30Thank you, darling
33:32I feel like I should be reading the news
33:35Fortunately, we have the wonderful James Verica to do that instead
33:37Thank you
33:39Now, I won't keep you from your lunch
33:42But I'm very glad to have you all here
33:43To celebrate Carinium's newest star with me
33:47Ladies and gentlemen
33:48Declan O'Hara
33:55Declan joins Carinium, of course, on the crest of a wave
33:58Wonderful ratings for our prestige drama, Four Men Went to Mow
34:02Who knew arable farming could be so sexy?
34:07And with revenue from our sales to America
34:10We are confident that this is going to be our most successful autumn ever
34:26Oh my god, it's him
34:27So sorry, sorry
34:30Didn't mean to steal your thunder
34:31No fire engines with you today
34:35Um, please, uh, go on to your speech
34:39Oh, hello, darling
34:40Hello
34:41Um, but Declan, you are undoubtedly the jewel in the Carinium crown
34:48And I know everyone here joins me in welcoming you
34:51Your wife, Maud
34:52And your daughter, Agatha
34:54To our Cotchester family
34:56Declan O'Hara, ladies and gentlemen
35:06Lunch, everybody
35:07Good lunch
35:08Thank you
35:16Is it loving in your eyes all the way
35:23If I listen to your lies
35:26Here's what you say
35:30I am a man
35:33Look at all this food
35:37I'm a man
35:40People are always saying
35:42You should write a book, Mrs. Jones
35:43You've led such a fascinating life
35:45How funny
35:46People are always telling me I should open a shop
35:51So, where have you moved to?
35:53Which year?
35:53Green Lawns
35:54It's a lovely house now
35:55We've added the extension and double glazed over those draughty old windows
35:58Those Victorians must have worn a lot of jumpers
36:01Oh
36:02Very good
36:03But the only house I know around there is Bottom Hollow Court
36:06Green Lawns sounded so much prettier
36:08Especially now we've landscaped the garden
36:10No tatties, Fred Fred
36:15Lord Baddingham is wooing my Fred Fred for his board
36:19I'm encouraging him to get more cultured
36:21We could do with a few more caring wives of Carina, Mrs. Jones
36:26Please, call me Mousy
36:27Call me Mousy, all of my friends do
36:29Shall we go and find somewhere to perch?
36:32Let's, Mousy
36:34Do move on to something soft, darling
36:35We don't want the humpball again
36:37I do so enjoy your couple of room
36:42My husband tells me you're one of the most powerful men in England
36:47Yeah, I suppose I am
36:48And I expect to run out a few potatoes
36:53One tattie, two tattie, three
36:56Shall we find more booze?
37:01Hello, Declan
37:03I'll see you later
37:05We were all so surprised when you left the BBC for Carinium
37:09Do you miss your integrity?
37:10Or do you feel lighter without it?
37:13What was it the private eye called you?
37:15The first not quite a lady of Fleet Street, was it?
37:23Tag, have you seen your mother around?
37:26No, I haven't
37:30I've met a few athletes in my time, they always get what they want
37:33And what do we want?
37:35To win
37:36Well, sadly, I'm not show jumping anymore
37:39Well, you're still athletic
37:43You're certainly too disturbing to be living across the valley
37:51Ah, there you are
37:53Finally
37:55Sure guy himself
37:57Mr. Cumberblack
37:59Getting to know the neighbours
38:02Taggy, have you met Rupert?
38:05No, I think I'd remember
38:07Agatha, that's my daughter
38:09Taggy
38:11I hear you did a hatchet job on Paul Stratton
38:14That I'd have loved to see
38:15Mmm
38:20Shall we make a dent in Tony's whisky collection?
38:25Why not?
38:41Are you hiding again?
38:43No, they're just at the end of Das Rheingold
38:45I need you to go out there with me
38:47Bloody Rupert
38:48I want to get this over with
38:49No, come here
38:54I can't believe I'm going to him for legitimacy
38:57All he did for his status was to be born into him
38:59It's just social currency, darling
39:00It's the way the world works
39:02Public school, why go?
39:03Well, shall we send Archie to a comprehensive
39:04and save on the school fees?
39:07He'll only make you feel inferior
39:09if you give him permission
39:10Now, deep breath
39:12Shoulders back
39:14Goodbye
39:19Working the weekend?
39:20I hope Tony's paying you handsomely, Ginger
39:23Come on, Docs
39:26Took some digging, but I found these
39:28I think you'll enjoy them
39:29It's a little Declan O'Hara insurance
39:33Ooh
39:57Peaceful is the country that is strongly earned
40:01Baddingham family motto
40:03Uh, circa 1972
40:10Lord Pop Pop, Tony's father
40:13made his millions in munitions during the war
40:15That's why Tony married Lady Monica of the Glen
40:19He had Daddy's cash
40:20Mon Mon had the house
40:22and what Tony wants most of all
40:24Class
40:28Why are the English so obsessed with class?
40:32Money
40:32Declan?
40:33I was only asking Mr. Cumberbuck a question
40:35Lord
40:37Rupert
40:38You've met Declan then
40:39Anyone want another drink?
40:40Oh
40:40You found one?
40:44It's decent scotch
40:45Did Monica choose it?
40:48Ignore us
40:49Our families go back a long way
40:50Not that far
40:53Listen
40:54Can I have a word, Rupert, in private?
40:56A business proposition
40:57Well, we're all friends here
40:59Nothing you could say to me that dear Morty shouldn't hear?
41:02I am not drinking sherry with the wives while the men have all the fun
41:06No, you want to be here when Tony asks me to be on his board
41:17Well, all right
41:20It's a lucrative game, I thought you wanted
41:23It's so hard to take you seriously, Tony
41:25You just always sound like you're playing Monopoly
41:27Ha!
41:30The answer's no
41:31Lady Gosling thinks I can give you some class
41:34Help you keep your franchise
41:35But I'm not using my family name
41:37So you can buy yourself a bigger helicopter
41:40Uh, Tony
41:43Paul Stratton's here
41:44Ah!
41:48Sorry we're late, everyone
41:50Bit of trouble getting out of bed, actually
41:52Yeah, you know what newlyweds are like
41:55Oh, mind yourself in those jeans
41:57You bend over your eyes will pop out
41:58And the new Mrs. Stratton
42:01Now, you are very welcome up
42:04Great, well done, Paul
42:08Do you know Declan O'Hara?
42:09Oh, yes
42:10Yeah
42:10You did us all a favour, actually, Mr. O'Hara
42:12Good to get everything out in the open
42:15We're insanely happy
42:16Aren't we, Paul?
42:17I'm a new man
42:22Excuse me
42:41I heard about you catching Campbell Black
42:43Playing tennis in the Noddy
42:47That's enough to upset anyone
42:48Who knows about that?
42:51Well, the whole valley knows about the fire engines
42:56And I know who the mystery woman was now
42:59Don't I?
43:02That's enough to upset anyone
43:12Who knows about the fire engines
43:15I can take him up with me
43:18I can take him up with me
43:25I can take him up with me
43:27And I can take him up with me
43:28Yeah, he can take him up with me
43:52You know you're dancing with the devil, don't you?
43:55Says the man who works for Thatcher.
43:58Let's hope you've got rhythm.
44:17Oh, incoming.
44:24You bastard!
44:26You've been shagging Sarah Stratton too.
44:34It was only tennis.
45:00Fuck!
45:01Ah!
45:02Jump!
45:04Ouch!
45:21I'm going to ruin you.
45:36I'm so sorry.
45:42I wouldn't mind, but...
45:45That's my car.
45:57So it's Rupert now, is it?
45:59It was a conversation.
46:00I was conversing.
46:01You were all over him.
46:03You were all over him.
46:03Oh, now I can't even talk to a man without you assuming that I'm after him.
46:06Oh, grow up!
46:06Oh, God.
46:07I didn't ask to come here.
46:09You're the one that took the check and just sold us all out.
46:11Yeah, Maude.
46:12It's a horrible house and you live in terrible light.
46:14Well, these are our people now.
46:15Oh, my God.
46:16They're all horses and dogs and houses and cars.
46:19And who's got the longest fucking driveway?
46:22Oh, my God.
46:23The men are all desperate to ride anything as long as they're not married to it.
46:26The wives, Jesus, they haven't had an orgasm since pony club camp.
46:32Oh, fuck.
46:34Oh, fuck.
46:35Oh, fuck.
46:38That's not her, is it?
46:43Everyone was looking at you.
46:45Huh?
46:47And did you like that?
46:50Oh, God.
46:51How much?
46:51How much did you like that?
46:54That's helping.
46:55I'm not.
46:57I love it.
47:01Fuck.
47:02Fuck.
47:06Oh, my God.
47:10I love it.
47:14I love it.
47:25Cool.
47:27You don't even care.
47:28I love it.
47:30I am about to meet up here.
47:31Come on.
47:51Stay next, man.
48:20Yes, yes, no, it was a buffet table.
48:31Of course, see you at 9am.
48:34You have a good evening, Prime Minister.
48:42Come on, dogs.
48:43Dad is in trouble again.
49:03Mummy and Daddy are clearly back on track.
49:06Was Rupert there?
49:07Yeah, I think so.
49:19As she gazed at the O'Caseous for their burnished bohemian beauty, entering this world of unbridled
49:26passion.
49:27She worried.
49:29Little did Dermot O'Casey know that he had brought his family into the wild.
49:34Into a world of untamable beasts, giving in to their basest needs.
49:48Hungry for sex.
49:55Hungry for status.
50:00Hungry for love.
50:10Hungry for power.
50:12You know, Campbell Black is finished after today.
50:15Hungry for comfort.
50:17Are you coming to bed?
50:18You had better be stopped while I'm not sure when I get through that.
50:24Good dogs.
50:25Good dogs.
50:26Lie down.
50:34My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.
50:45I just can't get enough.
50:54Because as seductive as his predators might be, one should always beware of being eaten.
51:01My eyes have seen the right.
51:02Oh!
51:07Oh!
51:08Oh!
51:10Oh!
51:11Oh!
51:12Oh!
51:12Oh!
51:13Oh!
51:25This is a surprise.
51:27The prime minister wasn't thrilled about seeing her minister's private lives splashed all over the papers.
51:32Paul Stratton's been shuffled to the back benches.
51:35Oh, dear. Have you lost your job?
51:37No, not at all. No. No, Mrs. Thatcher's given me a promotion.
51:41I'm her new minister for sport, so...
51:45Thank you. I couldn't have done it without you.
51:49You had to come all this way to tell me that?
51:53I want you to keep your grubby little nose out of my affairs.
51:58Maggie will see through you've seen enough, you overprivileged cunt.
52:07I have to try harder than that if you want to beat me, Lord Battingham.
52:19Come on.
52:21Oh, my dear.
52:24One of us.
52:25Willy don't smell Pasteis.
52:28Homeikka hellurnota.
52:31Okay, players don't smell Keyish.
52:34Oh, my dear.
52:40One of us.
52:44We'll become contain.
52:47Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
52:54ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
52:58ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:06ha ha ha
53:08You
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