- 2 days ago
Zero Stars Season 1 Episode 2
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TVTranscript
00:05So you've been kayaking before only once on a school trip and I nearly died what they made
00:11us all capsized and I couldn't get back up I stayed upside down are you serious and every
00:16time it's very traumatic every time I righted myself to gasp for air I could see everyone in
00:21my class laughing why don't you tell me that before it made me feel like she has a lot of
00:27confidence with someone who's already toppled a kayak and also I think we
00:31should turn round now we're here baby most travelers avoid bad reviews let's see
00:40what the review says one star one star one star I've never seen anything more
00:43stupid if I could give it zero stars I would not us I'm Sarah Pascoe I'm Roisin
00:54quantity we're comedians but more importantly best friends as someone who
01:00has received bad reviews I always try to look to the good so we're turning the
01:04tables on the review sites they were so busy typing in their phone only they've
01:08got to look out and visiting places based on the worst reviews it's nothing to be
01:14afraid of my review is 100 stars but will this journey of salvation be a five star fun
01:19fest I'm an absolute killer or are we in for a holiday from hell
01:46oh smell that air lovely air Bergen that question mark does make me doubt myself Bergen is it Bergen it
01:56must be they wouldn't have let us off the
01:57play it's making me feel like are you sure you want to get off here you could go somewhere
02:03warmer do you know Norway well I've been here before yeah I ate reindeer oh right
02:09okay it tasted like fishy fruit and I nearly vomited oh no yeah so don't be
02:14ordering that for me I know you won't ruin Christmas
02:18have you been here before have you three times it's so expensive here I found my bank when I got
02:23back because I was drunk and I'd gone and got snapped and I was like that's all your money gone
02:26I was
02:27like I didn't spend a hundred pound they went you did in a 7-eleven 10 years of
02:29telly down the drain come there let's go and have a nice expensive holiday Norway one reviewer said every
02:37time we sat down to eat a hundred quid disappeared talk about the magic of the fjords
02:44Norway is small but exports a lot of gas for its size hashtag relatable this means high prices and
02:50high living standards so cities like Bergen are full of swanky fancy places to enjoy and we won't be
02:59going to any of them really is in the middle of nowhere now I know why they're like Bergen
03:05Bergen are we still in Bergen idyllically located miles from anywhere pod town this isn't it though
03:16it says pod town your private space in a lively place lively's pushing it this can't be it this is
03:23all rusty it's definitely it the pictures make it look much more glamorous much more like Japan
03:28sort of like pod living okay I've got a check-in instructions okay it's self-cleaning it's fine
03:35cleaning we have to clean it ourselves there's no private toilet in the unit at the moment however
03:40a 24-hour gas station with restroom facilities is just a seven minute walk away I get up at least
03:47once
03:48for a wee in the night reviews I mean I'm very lessy what these people say three stars three stars
03:54this is
03:55a decent place to stay in relation to the price I think that's the thing
03:58is it's cheap isn't it Norway four billion pounds yeah I mean this is cost the same as a sandwich
04:01here
04:02yeah um we're in town for a wedding it's a nice place but to be a little impractical without a
04:06toilet and a bathroom what a little impractical that's illegal you can't hire out we don't know
04:11the rules in Norway surely worldwide the UN has got to be honest the important business around the UN
04:24one reviewer said I'd rather sleep in a barrel than use pod town again well at least it's a bargain
04:30we paid just 90 pounds a night oh Norway oh okay so it is oh it is very sort of
04:42uh sci-fi inside look at
04:46these lovely chairs it's a bit of a uh fucking mess I'm sort of stunned where's the mattresses and
04:56what's this bag of crap there's a coke thing oh god this is someone else's mess because they're meant to
05:02if there's brown stuff on that towels and there's that that coke has got lumps of something in it
05:07it does smell that might be my fear don't get in it oh my god is it moving oh god
05:14how can this be
05:17allowed Sarah there's a toilet what do you mean there's no toilet they said it's you have to go to
05:21the petrol station they said there's no private toilet which means oh my god it's horrible it's
05:27horrible how does someone give it a three-star review does this work the door if this door button
05:34works hello come on okay if you don't lock yourself in there I'm just trying to see if the button
05:38oh there
05:40you go a bit of privacy for the lady now I can have a wee I'm just trying to see
05:44if this button works but
05:45it doesn't can you not open it now I've locked myself in something felt up about pod town and it
06:10wasn't just the portable toilet full of piss I'm just gonna check oh no no no no we're not in
06:16the
06:16right one this is this is our bathroom well that's this is our toilet oh oh my god I was
06:24just around
06:24the corner thank god for that D8 D8 oh fingers crossed come on come on come on oh Sarah it's
06:34a win
06:34it's clean it's clean there's mattresses oh nice oh it's really nice luxury is not a pleasure but
06:41pleasure is a luxury oh it's lovely and now we know we've got the private bathroom around the corner
06:47there's a an air outlet and a sleep mode light oh this is lovely this is what I was envisioning
06:57and
06:57I like it very much it's like when you've got a an all-right boyfriend after a really bad man
07:02we head
07:05into town for some food with a skip in our step this is it this is it oh taste of
07:11Norway baby ladies
07:12first thank you taste of Norway describes itself as an adventurous experience so far so concerning let me
07:27offer the exotic view of a couple of pair of socks hung up to dry that is very strange I
07:34need to see
07:34these socks come with bring us to your socks come to the toilets with me we've come to Norway we
07:39want
07:39to see your socks oh it's so clearly a display it's really cute what people are absolute arseholes imagine
07:51giving a bad review they've obviously never been to the theatre if anything I'd say it'd be good if
07:58they had a little woman sitting there I'd go all in even more so she's just sitting you know like
08:03you
08:04have a bathroom attendant but I'd have her dressed in the gear like that your socks need washing yeah
08:09well this is it five stars wash your socks right let's go and have a bit of a taste of
08:14Norway
08:16taste of Norway offers a Norwegian buffet two words I've never heard together but surely it's the
08:22perfect way to enjoy Norwegian culinary delights like these slices of brown maybe our host can help
08:30hello hi welcome this is the buffet we have four stations this is the cold starch oh okay and I've
08:38just seen you serve whales hey we do we do that's a whale it's smaller than I thought I don't
08:44think
08:44it's the whole thing so what else are you killing a reindeer a moose no one's safe in the woods
08:49or the
08:50water yeah so I'm going to have a little bit of this because Sarah's vegan go ahead is there anything
08:54veggie then do you reckon so we have bread because this is a very typical Norwegian treat I'll have the
08:59bread yeah Sarah Sarah does all the bread eating I do all the meat eating okay how much am I
09:04allowed
09:04not to oh really whoa oh it's really filling yeah I'm a hungry girl Sarah had the bread cupboard
09:10so it was down to me to taste every other taste of Norway there is hmm oh what's this that
09:16is a
09:17herring oh I'll have a little bowl this is called good enough for the Vikings good enough for me
09:22fish cakes yes please that looks delicious actually reindeer meatballs why not fish soup I'll have a bit
09:29of that as well get a couple of bits of those Sarah oh that's a good soup are you going
09:32to be okay
09:33with that I'm holding these yeah I feel like I'm so greedy I've got to help but I don't normally
09:37get filmed at buffets and now I see why this is a good trial for your only friends just that's
09:43enough
09:44though I don't be a greedy gut right Sarah let's do this look at this you've got some flaps so
09:50I get
09:51it to my bread you're right I'll tell you what I've got fish first up a Scandi classic pickled herring
10:04I feel like a feeder just watching you
10:06so did you like that a bit more it's actually nice no no whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
10:15nice and then
10:18oh spit it out
10:23I just didn't drink it I look like Hannibal Lecter
10:31what's that cake like then well it is dry cake like they said luckily I'm being brought some vegan
10:38food by my knight in shining waistcoat she was very happy with her 19 bits of bread though thank you
10:44thank you that's really kind mmm the broccoli is absolutely outstanding it's flavored up the wazoo
10:52where is the wazoo on a broccoli I'm gonna try this sort of risotto it's an old Viking dish that
10:58they had
10:58at weddings okay to the bride and groom oh it's good stuff I think I'm Norwegian in spirit
11:07next on the menu the mystery of the brown slices is solved it's Norwegian speciality brown cheese oh
11:17oh yeah what I've never said what what what it's happening there isn't words for this what happened
11:26it's toffee there's a toffee bit what it's turned into toffee it feels like I'm eating toffees that
11:31have been left on top of cheese it's a magical place norway isn't it the cheese maybe the best
11:36thing I've ever tasted is it I'm going to be gross you ready I wasn't ready it's sort of like
11:47I
11:47wasn't ready I'll never be ready it's like a toffee texture yeah but I believed you I didn't need to
11:57be
11:57showing it out of your mouth you see what you vegans are sneakily getting up to behind it'll make you
12:02realize oh hello vegans drink like Vikings oh what and I need some mead some mead I'll bring
12:13thank you thank you very much you've got many soft footsteps I'll tell you that
12:19ah yes apple juice the drink of Vikings who are doing dry jam
12:35yeah we need doggy bags please
12:43we're in Norway one online review says this disgusting country is disgusting and today
12:49we're heading out to see just how disgusting it is yeah not that disgusting really it's so pretty
12:55I cannot believe how beautiful these wooden houses are and then like the big mountain behind them
12:59Bergen means seven mountains or something what does Bergen mean seven mountains seven
13:09but Bergen is also one of Norway's busiest ports with over 300 cruise ship visits a year
13:15taking passengers to see the beautiful fjords but I've found a way of getting out on the water
13:20without spending a penny or whatever they spend in Norway Norwegian pennies this is exciting this is
13:27getting right on a fjord couldn't be more Norwegian it's free which is also couldn't be less Norwegian
13:35oh it doesn't cost money but I think that's because it's work technically hello hello there hi I'm
13:40Sarah I'm Andreas I'm Roisin nice to meet you so what is this experience it's basically a concept
13:48where you get to rent a kayak for free you get out here and you explore the scenery and then
13:53you pick
13:54up rubbish by the coastline what kind of rubbish do you have out there we have all kinds beer cans
14:00we
14:00even have those electric scooters and can we keep anything we find like an electric scooter if you want
14:06to but the last time that happened it exploded outside here so don't do that so basically you
14:12don't have to pay for it if you go and do a job but something might explode then when you
14:16come back
14:16here you get to weigh the trash and it's reported so they'll know how much trash has been picked and
14:22what about turning over what are the chances of us capsizing basically none will you hear us if we
14:28scream oh Christ I have a good hearing okay great well let's hope so this is all our stuff today
14:34we're
14:34going out canoeing getting rubbish saving the world as a favor to Norway you're welcome I think we'll
14:41probably get our NBEs or whatever the equivalent is in Norway do they have a royal family here no of
14:48course they don't they do have a royal family okay well I think the king is going to give a
14:51surprise
14:52so how often do you do this well I help people with it you don't actually ever do it yourself
14:58nah he's
15:02never done it I mean that does worry me right well of course it should I'm quite scared of open
15:07water
15:07I lost my voice in open water as a child feels like I'm gonna tip you it won't I promise
15:12it does
15:13feel like I'm gonna tip it's not gonna tip it's a cold open water I always think if I tip
15:17over I'm
15:18gonna scream but no one's gonna hear me are you gonna do us yeah let's see all you want is
15:25someone
15:26who you trust to explain how it works okay that was the wrong key it's the wrong key Andreas do
15:31you
15:31even work here Andreas comes out and he said I've never been on a kayak then he couldn't do the
15:36keys
15:36I don't think you work here you've never done it before you don't have the right keys I just wandered
15:40up here very lovely it's a bit frightening Eric to the rescue okay we're ready we're ready
15:48there we go it's time for us to get out there and clean up this filthy town watch out I'm
15:54about to
15:54hit something sorry it's just I've not been very elegant there we go we sort of need to left and
16:00right at the same time okay there we go do you reckon next year they'll do Oxford Cambridge and then
16:05Roshid and Sarah in the third boat try again right oh the winds not in our favor no hero in
16:15yeah okay
16:16let's go find some litter but first we need to make it out of the harbour we need to go
16:22around I'm gonna
16:23hit this boat if we just drift let's just oh dear okay okay yeah yeah yeah yeah oh no not
16:31again it's
16:32just too late we're gonna hit this one oh shit they're bad we've got our own system really when
16:38you think about it we sort of boat like pinball that way or that way I'll just go straight out
16:47head for
16:49home the English Channel here we come are there any Norwegian songs for sailing uh they must be
17:00mustn't there I don't know what we can clear they don't yodel do they we need like a sea shanty
17:04yeah
17:04there you go hi and we go low like Norse it can't be that different from like Scottish imagine Vikings
17:11arriving on these boats we should have worn little horns in our hats maybe that'd be offensive actually
17:17what's happened to be a bit more litter should we collect some seaweed well it's the only thing
17:24is I think they've they're very clean I haven't seen a single crisp packet not so much as a cigarette
17:30but not seen one thing it's a really weird feeling to be disappointed that there's not more litter
17:36it's been ravaged by other kayakers they've gone in there's nothing left Norway's too clean they've had
17:43an absolute run-on of people in the green kayaks but suddenly we had bigger problems to deal with it's
17:50really choppy now Sarah I think we need to get away from these rocks okay Sarah we need to move
17:54it's
17:54mad I know but we're going the wrong way we're gonna hit the wall I know we are it's too
17:59wavy is this what
18:00seamen see just before they die quick quick we've got to turn round this is gonna tip us fuck oh
18:07there's
18:08a gopro in the gopro's on the rocks the gopro's in the water oh fuck it's gone we then did
18:14smash
18:14the gopro it's gone it's gone no it's not here's a net and Sarah went to climb out of the
18:19boat in the
18:20open water to get it don't stand out the boat don't stand out the boat I'm just kneeling I'm just
18:25kneeling
18:25you're gonna tip me in the water I won't tip you in the water you know I thought that was
18:30mad I can't
18:31believe my littering is just getting rescued a gopro so we did rescue something we just thought about
18:37to lose it first it's quite an odyssey really I'm soaking we were heading back with nothing to show
18:46but wet socks and a camera that would never gopro again but then oh there's something there's
18:51something in the water is a banana peel a banana peel it's a banana peel get it get it oh
18:58my god
18:59yay a biodegradable banana peel doesn't matter it was unsightly banana peel yes it may only be one
19:10banana skin but I have contributed to the removal of rubbish from this beautiful water oh if that
19:15banana was sitting in the sea I wouldn't have slept tonight oh shit oh that was lovely and
19:25relaxing Andreas we've worked really hard Norway is welcome for our service can you just tell us
19:31how many kilograms of rubbish we collected yeah let's see I'm gonna turn this thingy on pretend
19:36you've used it before yeah stare at it like an alien oh yes concept yeah well it's 0.0 kilograms
19:440.0 pounds they're very healthy they weigh nothing it's organic listen Norway's very clean why are you
19:54luring people out here with this sort of like we need help come and clean our waters it's absolutely
19:58spotless out there it gives you an opportunity to to explore the the coastline in ways you you wouldn't
20:05otherwise we definitely explored we saw some of those rocks really close up yeah exactly anyway it
20:12was really lovely to meet you oh it was wonderful fun loads of the bad reviews in Norway are because
20:18of how expensive things are so it's a real boon to find something that is completely free and enjoyable
20:24but I can't say if this is a great freeway to see Bergen because I only saw this bit here
20:28and you can see that
20:31from here so we decided to see more of the city using a method so budget-friendly it was invented
20:39before money was even a thing walking oh it's lovely it's lovely it's kind of pumping yeah on a
20:49Saturday afternoon yeah and my number one criteria for judging the quality of a city dog vibes can I say
21:01hello to the doggy oh my god is this what it's like when you've got a man who keeps looking
21:08at
21:08other women I think the dogs are outstanding and I think that is for me a big green flag do
21:18you reckon
21:18you could live here yeah if I run away from my family if I did live here one thing I'd
21:24probably end
21:25up doing is the country's national sport skiing seventy percent of Norwegians own a pair of skis the
21:32other thirty percent presumably just go down on a tea tray but how do they practice when there's no
21:37snow on the slopes we've come to an empty car park to find out it feels like we're going to
21:44fight club
21:44yeah we're meeting at the wrongford lock we're in the wrongford lock behind the ice rink sort this out
21:51once and for all and where I can't see anyone I can't even imagine what a roller ski looks like
21:57I
21:58think they do it to practice in when they can't get on the slope so it's a real like this
22:01is genuinely
22:02where they practice apparently um would you like to hear some reviews one star the first time I ever
22:08saw this here in Norway my first thought was okay Norwegians have finally lost it it's excessive isn't
22:15it and it's just not a very uh as a review it it lacks any sort of like pizzazz look
22:23to add wheels and
22:24then go really fast in a car park that's fun right yeah if indeed it even exists yeah we haven't
22:30seen
22:30them yet no it does feel like we're gonna get mugged like we've arranged to come and buy drugs no
22:36one
22:36no one would mug you in such sort of open space
22:42wow oh god this must be them here they are the cavalry is arriving that is a weird sport
22:52okay they're coming now we've got to stop laughing look serious wow they're fast hi hi hi hi
23:00oh they're very oh hello hello very good are you allowed to do that in the streets we do it
23:10anyway
23:10oh okay bad boys like your style i'm roisin i'm sarah hi hi uh how long have you been doing
23:16this for
23:16and are you a gang yeah i would say so yeah so we've been practicing since we was 12 i
23:23think oh wow is this
23:25very popular in Norway what you're doing yeah as we say Norwegian are born with the skis on their feet
23:30someone who's given birth twice i'm like oh and do you have to practice for the actual slope or is
23:37it
23:37a separate thing on its own yeah i will practicing for the cross-country skis in the winter okay you'd
23:43compete yeah in the summer we compete sometimes but it's more often in the winter okay i see how long
23:50do you think it will take us to learn how to do this so have you been skiing before or
23:54no we've not been
23:55skiing ever so this is going to be interesting yeah balance must be important yeah check this out
24:00maybe the most important that's good i'm going to stay for ages they look they're all like oh she's
24:05going to be good now to practice for a sport we've never done before on a hard tarmac surface
24:13when he's taking his left foot down his right pole okay it's the opposite life okay
24:19oh always when we come to a country i want to try things that normal tourists don't get a chance
24:25to
24:25do when you watch other people going really fast on something you think ah that's really fun
24:29let me at them and then i was instantly chastened by the danger element oh there we go there we
24:36go
24:36it doesn't feel very elegant when you turn back around oh you turn though all right okay going too
24:43fast up it feels like it's something that someone's cursed us with for the rest of your days you will
24:49have wheels for feet yeah i'm sort of getting the hang of it yeah like that you're doing really great
24:58for doing it the first time oh it was very much an enjoyable experience oh if roisin had been a
25:06bit
25:06more steady i think we'd have had more fun because i was partly worried oh god it's too fast how
25:13do i
25:13stop it's very frightening because you just think you're going to fall the whole time help me
25:21it's like ice skating but you normally have something you can hold on to for ages
25:26and i did but it was a 16 year old or you know just like
25:29i was just there with your knees a bit tucked i want to stop but what i'm hoping is in
25:36this edit
25:36you'll just speed me up really fast and put really good music on it make me look cool
25:43morning
25:48help help this have you ever done this with anyone worse
25:54uh no not that good see that feels fantastic maybe i would like skiing as long as
26:00it was sort of flat i didn't want to look like i was having a great time while roshi was
26:04struggling but
26:05it was really fun i absolutely disagreed with the reviews i don't think the norwegians have finally lost
26:09it this seems to me like common sense you can't ski on snow you pop some wheels on clogs on
26:14the
26:14other hand from denmark wooden shoes you know they've lost it they're very honest the norwegians
26:23i like it he said i was the worst person he'd ever done it with and i'd improve that much
26:28it sounds
26:28exactly like when i lost my opportunity okay thank you very much it's lovely to meet you i tell
26:36you what turning around is so inelegant bye guys thanks for teaching us bye goodbye bye do you think
26:45we should skate to our next thing what is the next thing i don't know we're in norway known for
26:59fjords
27:00fishermen's cabins oh and black metal
27:06famous for its up-tempo songs satan worship and church burnings black metal is norway's biggest
27:11cultural export so to see why the lovely norwegian people are so keen on this dark music we've arranged
27:18to meet a local band at their rehearsal space would you like to hear some reviews of black metal music
27:25just so huge in such such a big question i sort of feel like this is the gateway drug to
27:31going in there
27:31go on then one star does anyone else think black metal is just noise like the vocals are basically
27:38just growling yes forgettable riffs boring melodic leads cliched lyrics about satan i'm quite scared
27:45of death i don't like satan and stuff is it pro satan or anti satan well he's just getting a
27:49lot of air
27:50time yeah what's the band called i don't know we're gonna find out oh christ i don't think it's that
28:05winter breeze are a melodic black metal band their name may sound satanic but actually it means
28:12winter's winter's breeze i think i've got a candle called that you're ready yeah
28:18i just have to go in ready
28:22the first impressions it was too loud if it is like can you survive this
28:39i'm probably not going to be that relaxed sarah did some good dancing i actually thought it might
28:45be my new thing imagine that is sarah coming which one oh you know the one who's into black
28:50metal what the mom of two from north london yeah she's into black metal now
28:57it's very much like a panic attack
29:01and i guess that's the vibe yeah it's an extreme genre that kind of has a lot of feelings and
29:06the thing is to get that creature out of you uh and heavy metals are huge in norway certain parts
29:12of it yes black metal it's called isn't it black metal why is it called black metal over heavy metal
29:16more distortion more kind of gritty sound and so what is the vocal how do you sing it's kind of
29:23like
29:23screaming you know but it is at some point yes the scream singing yeah you're supposed to like use
29:29all the capacity in your lungs yeah and it would be like
29:33but then you would add even more volume so it would be
29:38brand one by the elbow and then you could pitch it with your mouth so it can go deeper so
29:44it could be
29:45like oh sorry but motion's got a really scary voice i don't know if this is right i used to
29:53climb
29:53inside a duvet cover and i tend to my sister that i was going to another side and i used
29:56to do this
29:57voice i'm going to the other side you'll never buy me again so you inhale right ah that's another
30:06type of style well i've never done it to uh like a song why don't we you do the drums
30:10and i do the
30:10song so can we sorry we invited ourselves into your band we're very dark of heart yeah yeah then you're
30:16welcome thank you great you're gonna do this one and the leg at the same time yeah i couldn't hear
30:40you because i was drumming so loud were you singing well no i was just trying to put i just
30:44said things
30:44like i like cornflakes just positivity it didn't look like i was having a great time i don't think
30:50anyone's gonna feel oh this person's a natural like if black metal someone can walk past i'd only
30:55be like these girls look like they got something that was a very positive song a natural safe to say
31:08our metal's more beige than black so it's over to vinter breast for one last tune
31:17yeah it's not for me that's war music sorry and don't everyone start emailing me going you're not
31:22listening right well i couldn't because i've already gone deaf i i'm i'm buzzing yeah i feel like a bit
31:28as a very short concert my ears are buzzing we had to run out i'm being very mean yeah and
31:34they seem
31:35very nice but listen they all think the music i like so no one's ever gone on a killing spree
31:39after
31:39listening to boyzone you're absolutely right sarah after seeing the dark side of norwegian culture
31:48it's time to visit somewhere even more unpleasant the olden days this is very nice a living museum
31:55museum hello walls are you alive i feel like a living museum sometimes living museum so what
32:02happened in the 90s the museum shows visitors what life was like in 1800s bergen with a cast of actors
32:09bringing the small town dramas to life we're looking forward to ipson meets emmerdale you ain't my
32:14heron pickler yes i am so do you want to hear a review yes please okay one star oh the
32:22professions are
32:23portrayed less convincingly the so-called actors are completely wrong with unnecessary
32:31comma out of place performances okay i've been called a so-called comedian many many times so i'm
32:38gonna give these so-called actors the benefit of the doubt yeah this sounds like this sounds like
32:43someone who didn't get the gig a rival from another museum yeah shitting all over them yeah
32:49also i've done jobs like this yeah i've done historical acting in places you know the meridian
32:54in greenwich telling people about when time was discovered you can join in yeah i will join in as
33:01soon as i know the facts i'll be in there i'll be like my turn all right let's go and
33:05see it
33:05it starts in four minutes oh great let's go i could have told you that if we were on the
33:09meridian
33:12we're just in time to catch a short play about our favorite topic dental care so ladies and
33:19gentlemen come closer it's nothing to be afraid of i'm the dentist by the way but as it turns out
33:26only
33:26one of the actors has turned up i'm just waiting for some customers they will arrive quite soon i hope
33:39i just have to wait i'm afraid this is where we could get up and do a song and dance
33:43for everyone
33:44what's the best time to visit the dentist 2 30. i'm just getting warmed up this stuff
33:52so um we wait for a few minutes and then we are ready the trouble is i'm coming up on
34:01my third coffee
34:01i do need something to happen oh god i thought they would be on time i don't like waiting are
34:10you
34:11ready not yet not yet oh my god i think we should just create a bit of drama yeah oh
34:20no it's okay i'm
34:22fine i'm fine it's okay she's got a sore tooth yeah good acting here we go but why you know
34:36why
34:37you're getting married so you have to get all your teeth pulled up now so your husband don't have to
34:42pay for it in the future yeah all of them i got mine out for my confirmation and then you
34:48got nice new
34:48dentures in it's be it will be all right welcome welcome i bid you welcome it's nothing to worry
34:54about it takes about a half an hour and i'll wait for you here this way come on oh we
35:01need to help
35:01that lady i disagree with the reviews it's good stuff calling it a play is pushing it but it's an
35:07oddly immersive piece and they use the space very well when she runs upstairs and comes out the window
35:11you're like lovely stuff it's like a western i'm not finished oh she's covered in blood i found out
35:19awful things it was quite informative that all women had to get all their teeth from me before you
35:24got married so that your husband didn't have to pay for it but good performers a little bit of gore
35:28a tiny little bit of smell come with me and i shove you my instruments excuse me it was a
35:34little
35:34bit of a this is theater baby i'm all for it thank you all right sarah what next boss okay
35:46camping outdoors
35:47stars women bonding and so we've done quite a lot in bergen and now we're going to go and see
35:53a bit
35:53more of the countryside and we're going to go dare i say it hellish camping but somewhere beautiful
35:59um so go somewhere nice do an awful thing that's sort of the vibe right
36:09we're exploring norway a country which has prompted this review expensive cold and wet what's not to
36:15like so we've decided to see the most fit landscapes in the world via the worst thing ever invented
36:21camping we've come to the station we've been lent this stuff for free
36:26yeah there's a place called bua and it's like a christian missionary and in norway
36:31they lend it to you for free so you don't like have to buy it and have waste just give
36:36it back it's
36:36amazing and we're going to boss boss now i'm camping beautiful place a terrible activity
36:43do you think it'll convert me yeah that's my that's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna convert you
36:48you're gonna become a camping gal all right let's go get the train then all right
36:53you managed to get off a bit lightly there didn't you i did
36:58we have left it a little bit late i mean we've got so much stuff quick quick quick
37:03that was sweet oh hello snazzy your majesty
37:10we're heading east to the small town of vos on a train one passenger described as bad
37:15and unreliable so we'll fit right in do you want to hear a review of this train sarah i'd
37:22absolutely love one i can't imagine anyone saying anything negative one star the train
37:28is not particularly clean or well maintained the toilets had no soap and the seats very loose
37:34the worst train i've ever been on is that king charles and camilla who it is actually they've
37:39signed it them certainly at the end you didn't even see much of the landscape either what do you
37:46know what i reckon they were doing they were so busy just typing in their phone moaning that they
37:49forgot to look out so pretty wow this is it isn't it this is being on holiday the bridge the
37:58water
37:59it's so relaxing shrubbery and the big black tunnels i guess that's the thing isn't it you've
38:04got to keep your eyes out because then fjord yeah here we go let's let's get let's see we can
38:09see
38:09let's gulp down some beauty oh gone yeah it feels like a supermarket dash maybe it's like a
38:17philosophical lesson appreciate the view while it's there your eyes eating it i'm trying to get the
38:28beauty in yeah in a sort of gluttonous one because i'm trying to enjoy the view and in my ear
38:32i can
38:33hear it it's sort of undermining it here we are voss baby look a lovely hotel why can't we stay
38:47in a
38:47hotel in voss because the reviews are too good but not all reviewers think voss is boss some of them
38:55across one star voss is a small town with little interest in itself i was bored
39:01hmm there's a three star this is more positive i'd say there are plenty to do there you just need
39:06to be creative that's us yeah we're creative that is us baby let's go show these mountains a good time
39:15voss is mainly a ski resort but as it's summer and we've been banned from ever roller skiing again
39:20we're setting up camp by the lake to enjoy the nordic concept of free luftsliff or open air life
39:29i mean it is absolutely stunning i can't hear anything apart from us sometimes zero stars comes
39:36up in our favor yeah it's overwhelmingly beautiful i can't believe people got bored here
39:44i don't think you need to do anything but sit and smell that air i should have looked up whether
39:50norway has snakes before we went camping you say things like this as we approach the campsite
39:57right so it's free roam right to roam or whatever so you can just camp anywhere yeah so we can
40:02just
40:02sit by the beach then yeah let's go down here you sure it's legal so i don't want to wake
40:07up with
40:07the feds around me i don't want to wake up with a bear poking his head through oh i'd love
40:12that would
40:13you a cow a bear a horse yes please yeah all those big animals yeah i like a big animal
40:18if you know what
40:19i mean all right so i think tent is the most important thing to get up first do you think
40:26it's
40:26a pop-up or no it's definitely not a pop-up because these are separate okay and i will not
40:31do this in
40:32actually oh no women everywhere no we're doing this for women i was about to say i'm not doing
40:36it for women some women don't give a about camping and that's me okay all right how do you get
40:43in
40:44there then man there's this but there's no in there yeah that's what i thought there was like
40:48a be a tube inside normally camping is taking everything that you do in your normal life and
40:52going make it more difficult so when you get home you really appreciate having a toilet okay no
40:59that's definitely i've got definitely in the wrong stop it this is a silly this is silly oh do you
41:05think the yellow one's supposed to go in the yellow one and the red one supposed to go in the
41:07red one
41:07i think that now yeah yeah there might be some instructions they're norwegian don't mansplain us
41:13tent making right now this goes in the end of a tube here so this does go here yeah damn
41:22yeah it's
41:22got that's it you got it yes i got my finger you got in it
41:29yeah you it's a lot of admin camping that's the fun of it that's why it's not like one style
41:36nothing
41:36to do you've got loads to do just survive yeah you don't get this view from a hotel this is
41:42nice to be
41:43fair it is nice our tent was up now make flames oh my god roisin you made a fire yeah
41:52irish holidays
41:55they didn't have a central heating in my nan's house it's fires it's very close to our seating
42:00area i don't think you should put that on there no i'm not i'm putting it here for you to
42:07sit on
42:07because they can enjoy the fire you made because i'm a gentleman thank you my lady we need to get
42:14our snacks i think you have to run across really fast like this what do you need grab them all
42:23careful it's very flamey this is fun isn't it yeah i just thought of a pun do you want to
42:27hear it
42:28go on roast in conaty the fire is lovely now isn't it lovely and warm camping is the thing i
42:38don't
42:38love but this has been actually very fun i hate it when i'm sort of enjoy things that i sort
42:44of
42:45i'm against this is a lovely end to what has been pretty amazing trip yeah did you like bergen
42:51loved bergen i'm gonna say something might be my favorite
42:56it norway might be expensive but i think our trip was good value it doesn't cost anything to enjoy
43:02the scenery or hang out with teenagers in an empty car park and most importantly spend some quality
43:08time with a friend my review is four fjord banana peels out of five
43:18norway i love you five stars absolutely wonderful place that blue coat i bought in bergen i lost it so
43:24i'm
43:24using this time to appeal for anyone to find that coat i lost it in wales or someone in norway
43:29send me another one look how nice it is on me five stars norway love you wow we've got a
43:34long night
43:34ahead yeah we need to tell scary stories or something i was once camping with roshini we both caught fire
43:40oh
43:42oh
43:43oh
43:43oh
43:43oh
43:43oh
43:44oh
43:58oh
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