The Nut Farm

LegalDramaDaily

The Nut Farm

Transcript

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00:24:47vaulting we've got cow shit all over your face now I'm not a betting man but I'll bet you didn't

00:24:53know macadamia trees are native to Australia no I didn't know that I thought they were from Hawaii

00:24:58no no that's horse shit actually I think it's some bullshit I'm sick of this shit

00:25:06well the last thing we need is some Yankee doodle douchebag onto us all right so when you do the

00:25:11testing make sure it's when he's not around

00:25:18clean your face off it's revolting

00:25:23this nut sorter is shared between the two farms it's where we come to empty our nutsacks

00:25:28sorry oh it's pretty simple we empty our nutsacks into this machine together sure if you like so

00:25:35you and I stand here together two grown men and empty our nutsacks into this machine well unless

00:25:40our loads are too big in which case we help each other empty our nutsacks that goes without saying

00:25:45man well I mean it seems pretty simple the nuts grow they dropped this machine gets them ready

00:25:52for market sure as long as your nuts don't get frost damaged flooded rot burnt in a bushfire drought mold

00:25:59attacked by pests or sometimes your nuts are just disappointingly small yeah so like I said real easy

00:26:19hello small child from every horror movie I've ever seen I hope you don't mind that I decided to let

00:26:25myself in no it's fine I love no privacy my mother wanted you to have this your mother

00:26:50your mom sent this yep the only single woman in a 50k radius oh come on there's got to be

00:26:59at least a

00:26:59couple single women within 50,000 miles I meant kilometers but that would be like three feet

00:27:06or or a kilometer is the big one god I always confuse kilometers with millimeters

00:27:41get I might you must baby

00:27:43the new bloke in town yeah that's right i'm darren call me dazzler oh okay i'm brendan but you can

00:27:49call me brenda sorry had to run harry home to sleep it off i think he'll be billing anybody

00:27:58this afternoon he's my uh this is brenda so uh you work here too go over the payers love get

00:28:06your

00:28:06drink we got joseph's brew double pay fat bastard on tap i'm afraid i'm out of kelly's piss well

00:28:11actually i just popped in to find out if there's a general store around because i need basic supplies

00:28:15of course there is love you're standing in the middle of it mate this is cobweb cdb mate central

00:28:25business district country dual business love you get them in rural areas so the post office is also

00:28:34the cop shop the public pool doubles as the crocodile shelter that kind of thing do you have soaked

00:28:41granola well i could probably run a packet of cornflakes under the tap for you what about mouthwash

00:28:54blistering bushfires hair has gone out

00:29:00i hope those fridges haven't been off for long

00:29:05greetings

00:29:06there's me saucy old duck i'll take your milk your yogurt and all of your cheese please

00:29:13you're not cleaning us out like you did last time zoran i'm putting a limit on you please do just

00:29:20limit

00:29:21me to all the fresh ones that are still under four degrees so big on the dairy huh yes i

00:29:29require more

00:29:30than the average person i'm what's known as lactose inadequate are you sure that's a thing oh i know

00:29:37who you are you're none other than old mitch's know nothing nephew from america well i do know a few

00:29:44things buddy 50 000 people used to follow my crypto blog that's so exciting did they follow you all the

00:29:51way down here i believe we're almost neighbors you're nobody's neighbors sorry yeah yeah yeah yeah

00:29:57yeah that's physically impossible best be on your bike ziren yeah stupid shit bird

00:30:12very well dazzle

00:30:16it's nice to see everyone hard at work

00:30:21don't worry

00:30:23it'll all be all right in the end

00:30:27and if not it'll just drag on

00:30:30it's seemingly never in right

00:30:38oh what an ass hat

00:30:41now this is either mouthwash or drain cleaner

00:30:45might be a good idea to test it if you drain smell good enough to kiss

00:30:50it's probably mouthwash

00:30:52great thank you

00:31:04wait you guys turn and spread them

00:31:06what what the hell i didn't i didn't do anything

00:31:09you're american aren't you yeah but that's not a crime is it

00:31:13just trying to make you feel at home

00:31:16i'm fine thanks

00:31:18at least i was

00:31:20just trying to be nice

00:31:21sergeant blake cobweb homicide slash postal division homicide slash postal

00:31:27what do you know about today's disappearance of strawberry john

00:31:31strawberry who strawberry john

00:31:34farmer who lives near your place

00:31:36yeah i wonder what he grows

00:31:38avocados

00:31:40but i used to grow strawberries but he hated the nickname

00:31:45enough talking about farming

00:31:48when did you last see him

00:31:50i've never seen him ever

00:31:52sounds suspicious

00:31:53how do you even know where i live

00:31:55it's my job to know things

00:31:57oh is it

00:31:58then maybe you know what happened to my uncle mitch

00:32:01all right drop the tone

00:32:03considering you inherited his farm

00:32:05maybe i should be asking where you were

00:32:07when he disappeared

00:32:09i was in san francisco

00:32:10and what were you doing in san francisco

00:32:12well let's see

00:32:13i was really busy not even knowing he existed

00:32:18guess that counts you out then

00:32:19this is ridiculous

00:32:20can i go now

00:32:22yeah

00:32:24but i'm watching you

00:32:26so don't leave town eh

00:32:27yeah if only i could

00:32:34enjoy your milk

00:32:35our farmers are the best

00:32:42oh why is everything so difficult in this backassment's country

00:32:46sir

00:32:46what

00:32:48i'm afraid we've just squeezed the last gas out from under esme's place

00:32:52my my place

00:32:53i bought it

00:32:54it's my place

00:32:55so i'm the one with the massive gas problem

00:32:57this is a bloody disaster

00:32:59we dig a tunnel all the way from the motherland

00:33:01we put in a secret gas pipeline

00:33:03and now you're telling me we don't have enough gas to squeeze through it

00:33:05what's the latest test results say

00:33:08some below d's

00:33:09but

00:33:10the real reserves are under old mitch's nut farm

00:33:14biggest i've ever seen

00:33:16really

00:33:18well then

00:33:19focus in that direction

00:33:21forget about the rock shelf

00:33:22we go fast and close to the surface

00:33:25not too close boss

00:33:26or we'll risk another cave-in

00:33:27that last one took a lot of effort to clean up

00:33:36that strawberry guy was so difficult to work with

00:33:40oh

00:33:40look

00:33:41once we get above mitch's reserves

00:33:43we go vertical

00:33:44delve deep into the bowels of the earth

00:33:47spill some chemicals into that

00:33:49beloved aquifer they all bang on about

00:33:51iris

00:33:52it is time

00:33:54to frack some more of this stupid island

00:33:58and keep our beloved new zealand powered

00:34:03pristine and green

00:34:04what about the nut farm's new occupant

00:34:07well the greatest american ding dong

00:34:09nah he's so stupid he wouldn't even be able to tie his own shoes together

00:34:12iris

00:34:13get digging

00:34:20yeah i think this has probably got a staple cord

00:34:24all pumped and ready for some first time tractoring

00:34:30great work carl

00:34:32you know you're a handy guy to know

00:34:33hey there

00:34:35ah

00:34:36hi

00:34:36brendan look

00:34:37it's my still attractive for her age mother

00:34:40i'm sorry

00:34:41i don't know where he picks these things up from

00:34:43well he's not wrong

00:34:44so

00:34:46well anyway

00:34:47thanks for letting me borrow young carl here

00:34:49uh miss

00:34:51i had to get my tractor up and running

00:34:52so i can get out there and uh

00:34:56you know

00:34:56do some

00:34:58shoveling

00:34:58yeah

00:34:59certainly sounds like something a farmer might say

00:35:02and that sounds like something another farmer might say

00:35:05about something a farmer might say

00:35:06thus two farmers

00:35:08saying stuff

00:35:09together

00:35:13come on

00:35:13oh hey kim

00:35:15thanks for sending that gift basket over the other day

00:35:18with carl

00:35:20you have beautiful handwriting

00:35:22oh yeah

00:35:23of course

00:35:24it would be um

00:35:26rude to not properly

00:35:28welcome you to the neighborhood

00:35:29and i really enjoyed the bell pepper

00:35:33but if you're as sick of mom's meals as i am

00:35:35excuse me what was that

00:35:36we could all go out to the town's only restaurant

00:35:39all of us

00:35:40uh no

00:35:41how about thursday

00:35:42you've got nothing on thursday mom

00:35:44i already cleared your schedule

00:35:46actually i'm pretty sure philip has plans on thursday

00:35:49already so i'm free too

00:35:51thank you my little

00:35:53angel

00:35:57let's go home

00:36:00carl

00:36:01bye carl

00:36:07you know where i can be found

00:36:11i don't see why you

00:36:15come around

00:36:17your ass is grass

00:36:19grass

00:36:21i have my own life

00:36:23and now i'm sure

00:36:24you made a big mistake

00:36:26growing here grass

00:36:28say hello to my little tractor

00:36:30oh

00:36:34oh yeah

00:36:35i go both ways baby

00:36:53brandon brandon one

00:36:54farming zero

00:37:01nailed it

00:37:05philip

00:37:06home

00:37:06hope you got plenty to eat today

00:37:19good one philip

00:37:21you got me

00:37:22you eight-legged knucklehead

00:37:41how bad is this music

00:37:42you had to hide it

00:38:07you had to hide it

00:38:28about um shouldn't that cell door be locked no no he doesn't make it home from the pub all the

00:38:35time so save some time gave him a key oh okay are you looking to post that somewhere today sir

00:38:44no but i think maybe mitch found something that got him in trouble one second

00:38:56i think the birds are up tonight good no that's not what all right hang on let me find the

00:39:01right

00:39:02spot here i'm gonna turn it up

00:39:14is this some kind of joke no mitch has all kinds of different recordings i mean there's some really

00:39:19crazy stuff in there yeah well he would mitch was a total conspiracy nut i was always coming in here

00:39:24complaining about stuff one time he filed a complaint about chemtrails as if there's anything i can do

00:39:28about chemtrails they're controlled by aliens maybe what happened to mitch it's the same thing that

00:39:33happened to strawberry john actually glad you brought that up that has been solved thanks to

00:39:39yours truly look received these in the mail this morning looks like strawberry john's taken himself

00:39:44on a spontaneous little trip to new zealand so records he's having the time of his life

00:39:50that does look pretty fun nice of him to send parse cards it's so much nicer than an email

00:39:58better than the dick pics he usually sends

00:40:12i'm parched as bro this place is hotter than a volcano's asshole which bit is its asshole

00:40:19the bit that's on top of course hey isn't that the face volcanoes don't have faces let's get a drink

00:40:35oh excuse me sorry brenda how's it going farm life good it's okay

00:40:40here's mate hit him up with a beer eh look i uh i gotta go so hungry i could eat

00:40:46the ass out of a low

00:40:47flying duck say esme is there a mine nearby or something like that nope no mine around here love

00:40:59nice to see some fresh faces buck we haven't had any tourists around here since the mayor took down

00:41:05those giant dangling nuts on the way into town sorry i missed that

00:41:14oh look who the sheep dragged in if it isn't my favorite australian

00:41:20thus as the worst job ever boss

00:41:24jubbering on about shrumps on barbies and tuts on balls

00:41:28and adding completely unnecessary vowels to the end of perfectly good words

00:41:33and thus i'm absolutely sucked to dick of getting about a miss outfit that hasn't been washed in six months

00:41:43don't let the convict fashion get you down mr dazzer

00:41:46you're part of something far greater than yourself and you're not paid to complain

00:41:53found these liot's topside

00:41:55end in uniform

00:41:56oh come on boss we've been down here forever

00:41:59we just need a little vitamin d well i'll give you a little vitamin kick up the arse

00:42:04if you don't get back to work move go back to work

00:42:07mmm come on

00:42:13now tell me about

00:42:18our new american neighbor

00:42:21will he flee home before we start tunneling under his land or

00:42:25do i have to pay him a little visit

00:42:30sorry what was the question

00:42:31do i was asking if i had to pay him a little visit

00:42:34sorry i zoned out for a second

00:42:36yeah it's okay

00:42:36um a wee bit difficult to tell actually

00:42:39really yeah what's he like

00:42:42thoroughly decent chap as far as i'm concerned

00:42:44yeah

00:43:04i reckon this will make your life a little easier do you want me to throw it up to you

00:43:08uh that's that's okay i'll come down

00:43:10you sure

00:43:15russell crow it's hot up here

00:43:17i thought i'd uh come and offer you an official welcome

00:43:22you wouldn't happen to have any nice refreshing

00:43:24cheese

00:43:26would you

00:43:36good stuff

00:43:37was that single origin

00:43:40i believe so

00:43:42it's magnificent

00:43:47you have some milk to wash it down

00:43:49sorry haven't been to the pub today

00:43:55so

00:43:56mr brandon

00:43:57brandon

00:43:58brandon

00:43:59no it's mr brandon

00:44:01mr brandon

00:44:02first may i offer my sincere condolences on the tragic death of your uncle match

00:44:07i mean people say he's dead but

00:44:09as he most surely is

00:44:10i mean

00:44:12the land around here claims so many

00:44:14it's a grueling life being a farmer and

00:44:16at the end your uncle was broken and bent double by enduring hardship and i would not be at all

00:44:22surprised

00:44:23if he just

00:44:25crawled off into the bush and lay down forever under his favorite tree

00:44:29you wouldn't happen to know where that is would you

00:44:31you are from san francisco from what i hear

00:44:33yeah

00:44:33san francisco my favorite of all the cities

00:44:36after christchurch

00:44:37and auckland

00:44:38and wellington and

00:44:39and

00:44:40and queenstown

00:44:45squish

00:44:47and to

00:44:49farmers to north

00:44:51but you must miss it terribly

00:44:53well sure

00:44:54i mean there's a few things i miss like

00:44:55sourdough bowls

00:44:57same day delivery

00:44:58medical marijuana

00:45:01sourdough bowls

00:45:02they take the bread and they

00:45:03hollow out the bread and put the clam chowder in the bread

00:45:06so you eat the soup

00:45:07and then you eat the bowl

00:45:10i mean

00:45:13it must be so hard

00:45:15being so far from home in a place that's so strange

00:45:18knowing that you stare down

00:45:20a fate as miserable as poor old mitch

00:45:23i mean still you could always just sell up

00:45:26you know

00:45:26move back to the big smoke with a big fat slab of cash in your pocket

00:45:31well actually the will that harry had me sign had a few surprise conditions in it

00:45:36harry the old bush lawyer

00:45:39yeah

00:45:40he's been quite the prick in my ointment too

00:45:44you know

00:45:44just let me know

00:45:46if you ever want to

00:45:47i'll get together and eggers go

00:45:49sure

00:45:51in the meantime

00:45:52my sylvan soulmate

00:45:55my countrified companion

00:45:58tell me about these will problems

00:46:04don't let mum catch you making friends with that turd face Zoran Clegg

00:46:08or we won't be able to go out on a date tonight

00:46:10yeah

00:46:11and i gotta start locking that dog door

00:46:13that's not how i get in

00:46:14did you just say

00:46:16our date is tonight

00:46:17i'll help you pick an outfit

00:46:29it's an interesting new look

00:46:30i told you

00:46:34hey

00:46:35i'd tell you the specials but we don't have any

00:46:38esme

00:46:39do you ever sleep

00:46:41i need the wheel

00:46:43so drinks to start

00:46:45yeah do you have uh vegan water

00:46:47i only tap and bottle

00:46:49tap

00:46:50i'll get both

00:46:52and wine

00:46:56so

00:46:56brendan

00:46:57what kind of romantic activities do you enjoy

00:47:00carl

00:47:01i'm sorry

00:47:02he watches too much tv

00:47:03no i mean i don't mind answering kim

00:47:05carl i uh let's see i enjoy fine dining

00:47:08uh three person multi-generational dates

00:47:11being interrogated on said dates

00:47:13is always a real pleasure

00:47:15what do you see as your biggest weakness

00:47:18sorry

00:47:19buddy

00:47:20i thought we agreed

00:47:21if i didn't leave you at home to kill yourself by accident

00:47:23you wouldn't be a weirdo

00:47:24so kim

00:47:25hmm

00:47:26i saw you moving your herd the other day

00:47:28oh yeah my cows

00:47:29all 144 of them

00:47:31wow

00:47:33that's a lot

00:47:33i mean i've always been a dog person

00:47:35so i guess that makes you a cow person

00:47:38a dairy farmer

00:47:39i'd say

00:47:41yeah i took over the farm when mum and dad retired

00:47:44cool

00:47:44you okay buddy

00:47:55you do realize that there's entire islands of plastic waste in the ocean right

00:48:00you know i would drink to tap

00:48:02and i'm sure the locals think it's lovely but

00:48:04if i'm gonna be honest it tastes a little bit odd to me

00:48:07odd

00:48:09hell

00:48:10sort of like

00:48:11it was fresh squeezed from satan's g-string

00:48:14odd

00:48:15what's a g-string

00:48:16i'll explain that a bit later in

00:48:18very little detail

00:48:20try this

00:48:30see

00:48:31you know what i reckon you need to get your rain water tank checked

00:48:33mum

00:48:34rightio what's going on

00:48:35come on

00:48:36crutch

00:48:37when was the last time that you did a really big

00:48:39sorry about this

00:48:40do your thing

00:48:41when did you last do a big poo

00:48:43don't use that word at the dinner table

00:48:45well it's pretty obvious to me that none of the blokes at this table drink enough water

00:48:48come on you're coming with me

00:48:50let's go

00:48:50i'm not going to the ladies

00:48:51well you just have to sort it out by yourself then why

00:48:53well things are really stuck what do i do

00:48:58you're going to have to take me

00:48:59me

00:49:01i don't think

00:49:03that's a problem

00:49:04i've seen plumbers unblock my sink before

00:49:09this isn't so different

00:49:12nice wood paneling

00:49:15how's it going in there buddy

00:49:16it came out halfway

00:49:18and then it stopped

00:49:19it's swinging

00:49:21alright

00:49:22alright carl can you see the water below you

00:49:24that's your target

00:49:25that's what you're aiming for

00:49:26there's hardly any water

00:49:28i don't get it either man

00:49:29in america we fill the toilet up to the brim

00:49:32your cheeks get a rinse when you sit down

00:49:33but an australian toilet i'm not going to lie carl

00:49:36it's more like a shot glass at the bottom of a well

00:49:39and it does take a bit of marksmanship

00:49:41that's fine if your poops are coming out like 52 caliber slugs

00:49:45but honestly bro

00:49:46when i use a toilet

00:49:48it's like a sawed off shotgun went off in there

00:49:50i got a real wide spread

00:49:52i got a real wide spread

00:49:56nice

00:50:02hey you two have gone a while

00:50:04you okay baby

00:50:06yep

00:50:07all clear now

00:50:07as long as we never speak of this again

00:50:10sounds good to me carl

00:50:12hey mind if i go visit chef

00:50:14sure go on

00:50:17but no rice wine

00:50:19and don't touch the knives

00:50:22okay

00:50:23so how do you adjust

00:50:25that's classified information

00:50:26that's between carl

00:50:27myself

00:50:28and that lady over there

00:50:35so

00:50:36can we start again

00:50:39yes

00:50:41what was that

00:50:42here try some of this vinegar

00:50:44dab it on

00:50:45wherever they gotcha

00:50:46god damn i didn't think car ants were real

00:50:48feels like a burning javelin in my neck

00:50:50don't worry

00:50:50it'll go numb in a minute

00:50:51what will my whole body

00:50:53isma you've really got to get this old rust fumigated

00:50:56vinegar's cheaper

00:50:58well

00:50:58not the end of the night i was hoping for

00:51:01but you know it's still nice to get out of the spider share house for a little while i guess

00:51:06oh

00:51:07it's a nice thing that anyone's said to me in the years

00:51:10really

00:51:12yeah

00:51:13is this the bit where they put spit in each other's mouths

00:51:15oh

00:51:17hand me my glasses will you

00:51:18i probably should have been wearing them anyway

00:51:22i

00:51:23yeah

00:51:24yeah i'm gonna take my boy and he's over active imagination

00:51:27home

00:51:27alright that's probably a good idea

00:51:29by the way chef great cooking tonight

00:51:31that sweet and sour dish was

00:51:33it was something

00:51:38well

00:51:40terrific date everybody we should invite more people next time

00:51:44while hot

00:51:56we're in finally

00:51:58win

00:51:59ma

00:51:59hit

00:51:59peta jackson

00:52:07Iris, Iris, what was all that bloody noise about?

00:52:11We're supposed to be doing a secret operation.

00:52:14We've hit some kind of obstacle, sir.

00:52:17Probably just more dinosaur bones.

00:52:19Had to do a little blasting.

00:52:20Blast quietly.

00:52:45Hey, Dee, hey, did you hear any loud noises outside last night?

00:52:49Can't say I did, but Mrs. Dee and I were up celebrating our 40th anniversary.

00:52:5540 years? How old are you, Dee?

00:52:57Ah, you know what they say. A hard life in the sun keeps you looking young.

00:53:01No, I don't think anyone's ever said that, actually. Like, ever.

00:53:05Huh?

00:53:07Anyway, it's forecast to be extra hot this week, so make sure you water those trees.

00:53:11Will do. Thanks, Dee.

00:53:25Dee?

00:53:32We could put him to work with the others.

00:53:34I don't know. It's a bit weird, this one.

00:53:41Ah, Mr. Bossman?

00:53:42One of those funny farmer fellas have fallen in the tunnels again.

00:53:46How on God's earth does this keep happening?

00:53:49You told us to dig near the surface, sir.

00:53:51Please don't twist my words.

00:53:52Yeah, see, I wasn't twisting them that time, a little bit before, but...

00:53:55Oh my God, why is this so loud?

00:53:56Well, I actually just want to know what to...

00:53:59But, but...

00:54:00No words.

00:54:02No words.

00:54:05You'd be lost without me, sir.

00:54:08Fucker.

00:54:13Not really.

00:54:17Fucker.

00:54:35Fucker.

00:54:36Fucker.

00:54:37Fucker.

00:54:39Fucker.

00:54:40Fucker.

00:54:41Fucker.

00:54:42Fucker.

00:54:43Fucker.

00:54:44So that's what that terrible noise was.

00:54:50One all.

00:55:22One.

00:55:24One.

00:55:26Two.

00:55:28One.

00:55:30Two.

00:55:36One.

00:55:38One.

00:55:44Brendan Brandon pulls into the lead.

00:56:00Please don't be Mitch.

00:56:05This is definitely not vegan water.

00:56:08Oh!

00:56:11Oh.

00:56:11I think I just came over looking for some fencing wire.

00:56:14Hey, Kim.

00:56:16Poor blighter.

00:56:17Thanks.

00:56:18Yeah, it's been a hell of a day.

00:56:20I was talking about the duck.

00:56:21Oh.

00:56:22Strange it even got in there.

00:56:23You know you're gonna need to get that tank emptied, sterilized, refilled.

00:56:28Why does farming have to be so much work?

00:56:30Well, lucky this one's a job for the experts.

00:56:32You know what, I'm just gonna take this, mate.

00:56:33I'll get her to bring over a vacuum and some cleaning tools.

00:56:37Esme's the tank person as well?

00:56:39Uh-huh.

00:56:40No, she doesn't have much choice, does she?

00:56:41Ever since she sold her farm to that dick-nosed Zoron.

00:56:45Maybe she barely even covered her debts.

00:56:46Yeah, that Zoron doesn't seem very farmerish to me.

00:56:50And it takes one who's not one to know one who's not one.

00:56:53Well, he never was one.

00:56:55He's just an easy gas money salesman.

00:56:58So no wonder my water tasted like ass.

00:57:00It had actual ass in it.

00:57:02Low-flying duck's ass.

00:57:06You think that's a saying, don't you?

00:57:07I learned it at the pub.

00:57:08It's just, it's not flying very high, so it's like really hungry.

00:57:13I mean, I'm hungry.

00:57:17Sir, we have movement detected in the main tunnel.

00:57:21There'd better not be more deserters.

00:57:27Hey, guys.

00:57:28Uh, we're looking for Sydney.

00:57:30No, idiot.

00:57:31That tunnel is just pipe gas back home to New Zealand.

00:57:35It's not a sightseeing hike for dilly-dallying tourists.

00:57:39Back the way you came.

00:57:40Ah, not many sights, bro.

00:57:42It's just darkness longer than Mortier.

00:57:44It was the cheapest way to get to Australia.

00:57:46Why would you want to come to Australia?

00:57:48It's full of Australians.

00:57:50They have bad beer.

00:57:53They... malign.

00:57:54All the great New Zealanders.

00:57:55Don't even get me started on the whole pavement with them.

00:58:00Um...

00:58:01Sir?

00:58:02No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

00:58:04no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:58:05God, don't leave the hatch open during the day.

00:58:07You're gonna ruin everything, you traitors.

00:58:09I'm real sorry about this, Cape Ranchet, but it's only gonna hurt for a second.

00:58:24Sergeant Blake.

00:58:26How are you?

00:58:27Hands where I can see him.

00:58:29Oh, hey.

00:58:30Listen, I appreciate your unique brand of hospitality, but I'm settling in just fine, thanks.

00:58:36It's your mail.

00:58:37It's a little prank.

00:58:40Oh.

00:58:41Delivering the mail?

00:58:42Well, it is my job.

00:58:43Sorry.

00:58:45Oh, great.

00:58:46This must be my snake repellent.

00:58:48What do you know about the disappearance of Farmer Dee?

00:58:50Wait, which job are you now?

00:58:51Don't play dumb with me, Mr. Brandon.

00:58:53Did you say Dee's missing?

00:58:55What do you know about it?

00:58:56Because you look real suspicious to me.

00:58:59Actually, I think you should come down to the station.

00:59:01We need to have a chat.

00:59:03And, uh, newsflash, you're under arrest.

00:59:07But I'm an American citizen, so you haven't read me my Miranda rights.

00:59:11Plus, I get one phone call.

00:59:13Okay.

00:59:15Well, you call this Miranda chick, and then come and find me when you're ready.

00:59:20I'll be over here, sorting letters.

00:59:25Sure.

00:59:35Even if she did arrest somebody, where would they sit?

00:59:38I don't suspect she's ever had that problem.

00:59:48Did she just litter?

00:59:51First Mitch, now Farmer Dee?

00:59:54I mean, something's going on around here, Harry.

00:59:56Do you think maybe Mitch was onto something?

00:59:58He wouldn't tell me what his latest project was until he had all the pieces in place.

01:00:03I wouldn't give it much stock.

01:00:07Mitch was a secretive bugger.

01:00:09Had all kinds of working theories.

01:00:12You know what they say.

01:00:13Crazy in the head, crazy in the bed.

01:00:19Speaking of which, Esme told me that when Kim picked up her bread and milk, she also bought a couple

01:00:25of packets of condom.

01:00:27Two packs?

01:00:28One medium, and small.

01:00:35I'll see you at the weigh-in.

01:00:39All right, Harry.

01:00:44Who are the mediums for?

01:00:54Hey!

01:00:55You go enjoy your sleepover, buddy.

01:00:57You have some fun, okay?

01:00:59Hey!

01:01:01Thank you for trying to help me fix the fences, Esavo.

01:01:06The cows will be fine, Mum.

01:01:08Go on, run along.

01:01:09I'm going to take a look around before it gets dark.

01:01:12Mum?

01:01:13Yeah?

01:01:14Studies show it's important to decompress at the end of a stressful day.

01:01:20Why don't you go and have a play-doh with Brendan?

01:01:23He's not like anyone else around here, is he?

01:01:26He's cool for the only single guy in a 50k radio.

01:01:30Just be safe, okay?

01:01:32I like being our only child.

01:01:35Carl!

01:01:37Honestly, you...

01:01:39Things that come out of your mouth.

01:01:49Hey there!

01:01:50Hey!

01:01:51It's been a rough day.

01:01:52My cows have broken through an old fence, buggered off somewhere.

01:01:56Well, I could help you round them up.

01:01:57I've been practicing with Mitch's whip and I'm kind of a natural.

01:02:00Ah.

01:02:01I'd rather keep my eyeballs where I can see them.

01:02:04Huh.

01:02:04No, I think at this time of day it's just a good idea to have a drink.

01:02:07So I've got this first and, um...

01:02:10Well, Kim, harvest is tomorrow.

01:02:14Yeah, yeah.

01:02:14But...

01:02:16That does look like a pretty nice box of wine.

01:02:19Come on in.

01:02:22I'll be there in a second.

01:02:27Oi!

01:02:28Calm down!

01:02:41Enjoy your naughty wrestling while you can.

01:02:44Because you won't be making your 20 tons, Mr. Brendan Brindle.

01:02:47Brandon...

01:02:48Brendan...

01:02:49Brandon...

01:02:50What'd he be known as?

01:02:51Mmm.

01:02:54Mmm!

01:02:55Soon, Mitch's farm is gonna be nice...

01:02:58And...

01:02:59Empty!

01:03:14Good morning.

01:03:15Oh.

01:03:16Hi.

01:03:18Mmm.

01:03:18Could we not mention this to Carl?

01:03:20Because I just know he's...

01:03:21Kim, I know what you're gonna say.

01:03:22He'll take all the credit.

01:03:24That wouldn't be fair.

01:03:26What's this?

01:03:27Family hangover recipe, passed down from my great-grandfather.

01:03:30God.

01:03:31Does this stuff even work?

01:03:33Nah.

01:03:33Seriously, Kim.

01:03:34Your country drinks wine out of a bag that comes inside of a box.

01:03:38And you don't have a solution for this?

01:03:40Oh, we do.

01:03:41It's called Harden Up Princess.

01:03:50Good luck today.

01:03:52I'd love to stay and help, but I've gotta go and get my cows out of Zoron's land.

01:03:55I'd probably milk some today's.

01:03:58Okay.

01:03:59See you later.

01:04:00Alright.

01:04:01Okay, bye.

01:04:08Why?

01:04:09Did I do this to myself on Harvest Day?

01:04:13We've got a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of work to do.

01:04:19Forget about your women when you want or can.

01:04:24Today you're working for the man.

01:04:33Today you're working for the man.

01:04:35I'm picking them up.

01:04:38I'm laying them down.

01:04:41I'm laying them down.

01:04:42Go!

01:04:44Move along now!

01:04:45To the speed of ground

01:04:46Now I'm going to pull to the left

01:04:50He'll leave it to the right

01:04:52I wanna kill him

01:04:55But it wouldn't be right

01:04:57Because I'm working for the man

01:05:01Working for the man

01:05:03Got to lay them back

01:05:07Working for the man

01:05:09Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

01:05:16Pick up your feet.

01:05:18Got a deadline to meet.

01:05:20Black, black, black, black.

01:05:21I'm gonna say.

01:05:24Make it on time.

01:05:27Don't relax.

01:05:30I wanna help over that black.

01:05:32I wanna see you.

01:05:44What's the progress on the...

01:05:49Are these the nuts?

01:05:50Yes.

01:05:51Well, they can't be that hard to open.

01:05:53Oh, well, they're difficult.

01:05:55Come on, it's a bloody nut, Howard.

01:05:57You squashed it.

01:05:59That's kind of great.

01:06:00Come on, what have you got to use?

01:06:01Maybe it's easy to cut the things.

01:06:03Oh, careful, sir.

01:06:03I'm fine.

01:06:04I did a knife skills class with Peter Gordon.

01:06:06Ow.

01:06:08Oh, yes.

01:06:10Yes, yes.

01:06:12Oh, give it to me.

01:06:17Oh.

01:06:18That is the second worst thing I have ever put in my mouth.

01:06:24This is a stupid sport.

01:06:26What's the progress on the prototype frag droid?

01:06:29It should be reaching the midpoint of Mitch's farm.

01:06:32Oh, sweet.

01:06:32We go vertical, neck mount, motherlite.

01:06:38Oh.

01:06:39Oh.

01:06:43Oh.

01:06:53Looks like a pretty good load of nuts to me.

01:06:58It's a plethora of nuts.

01:07:00A veritable profusion of nuts, I would submit.

01:07:05I'll settle for sufficient.

01:07:08Mr. Brandon.

01:07:09It's Brandon.

01:07:09Never mind.

01:07:10What's the weight?

01:07:11Your harvest come in just a beesdick short of 20 tons.

01:07:14Sorry, I'm new to metric system.

01:07:16Where do beesdicks fit in?

01:07:19Look, just take you to the front office and we'll get you sorted.

01:07:2712 kilos under.

01:07:29Is there any wiggle room in this?

01:07:31I'm very sorry, Brandon.

01:07:32I helped Mitch draft up his will before I knew you.

01:07:36And if you failed, we expected you to fail in a really big way.

01:07:41Not by just 12 kilograms.

01:07:45I worked so freaking hard.

01:07:48Can we round up?

01:07:50Or give me another chance.

01:07:51I can do better.

01:07:52Any wiggle room I gave you would not stand up in court.

01:07:55And your awful cousin Craig would surely contest it and win.

01:08:02I'm so sorry.

01:08:03I really am.

01:08:06So that's it.

01:08:08I get nothing.

01:08:10Not even a tip.

01:08:11Which, by the way, in my country is customary when you appreciate someone's all-out effort.

01:08:16Every dollar from this crop has to be put back into the farm to keep it operating.

01:08:21That was the point of the 20-ton minimum.

01:08:24Well, can I at least have enough to fly back to the States?

01:08:28Put me down as farm equipment or an export.

01:08:31You can have all the frequent flyer points that Mitch and I were saving up,

01:08:35and that should be enough for a flight with maybe some left over.

01:08:39What am I going to do with extra frequent flyer points?

01:08:42I don't know.

01:08:42Maybe trade them for your imaginary coins.

01:08:45Or whatever they are.

01:08:51Good luck.

01:09:01Good luck.

01:09:29How much were you short by?

01:09:35Well, there was something about a bee with a 12-kilogram dick.

01:09:40How would such a thing get off the ground?

01:09:43Even if it did, it would break every flower it landed on.

01:09:46Probably get kicked out of the hive.

01:09:49The queen would be sorry to see him go.

01:09:51Might as well drink this.

01:09:53No.

01:09:55I actually thought I was doing a pretty good job here.

01:09:58I thought all this was going to be mine.

01:10:01I'm really sorry, Brendan.

01:10:04You know, you're going to work something out.

01:10:06You will.

01:10:07Kim, this was me working things out.

01:10:09And look where that's ended up.

01:10:10I'm going to go home in worse shape than I arrived.

01:10:15You're going back to San Francisco.

01:10:17Well, it's clear that I'm no farmer.

01:10:19And I never will be.

01:10:21I mean, the only thing I was ever good at was guessing crypto.

01:10:23Until I wasn't.

01:10:26Carl would be disappointed to hear that.

01:10:29Kim, I didn't...

01:10:30No, no, it's fine.

01:10:31I mean, it's...

01:10:32It's not like we promised each other anything.

01:10:34I mean, well, one date and a...

01:10:37You know, half-decent wine-fueled route.

01:10:39And what's that?

01:10:41You...

01:10:42You thought it was half-decent?

01:10:44I thought it was wine-fueled.

01:10:48Let's not drag this out, yeah?

01:10:49I've got a lot to do, so...

01:10:52I'll see you around.

01:10:56You...

01:10:56You said decent also.

01:10:59Before the part after that.

01:11:07You...

01:12:07Man, I thought we were getting along.

01:12:10I fed you and I watered you.

01:12:13And you couldn't give me 12 more lousy kilos?

01:12:17I'm talking to you, John F. Kennetree.

01:12:20And you, macadamia winehouse.

01:12:23And you. You broke my heart, Leafer Sutherland.

01:12:48Where were you guys when I needed you?

01:12:50I'm talking to you.

01:13:32I'm talking to you.

01:13:50I'm talking to you.

01:14:04Breaking dawn at suspect site.

01:14:08Appears to be a bunch of soil test holes.

01:14:11Something is a foot under foot.

01:14:23Hey, it's Kim.

01:14:24I'm probably milking cows right now, so leave a message.

01:14:27Hi, Kim.

01:14:28Listen, I'm sorry about before.

01:14:30I know I've been a real low-flying duck's ass lately.

01:14:33I don't even know what I was trying to say, but listen, I think I've discovered something.

01:14:46March 15, G8.

01:14:49The entrance has to be around here somewhere.

01:14:53Entrance?

01:14:55Entrance?

01:14:55Entrance to what?

01:14:58I doubt you've even been to a volcano.

01:15:06Uh, Mr. Cleet, Bosmundo.

01:15:08I can't be sure, but I think we're being spotted coming out of the hatch.

01:15:12How many times do I have to tell you, Elliot, to keep that hatch closed during the day?

01:15:17And once and for all, volcanoes do not have arseholes.

01:15:26Kim, Kim, Kim, I'm so glad that you called me.

01:15:28Brandon, I think I'm being toothed by minors.

01:15:31You mean underaged kids?

01:15:32Not children, you know.

01:15:33That's cool.

01:15:34Ding, hoes, and stuff.

01:15:36Go.

01:15:37Kim, could you hear me?

01:15:39Oh, shit.

01:15:41Hey, it's Kim.

01:15:41I'm probably milking cows right now, so leave a message.

01:15:44Kim, I'm coming.

01:15:45I just, I don't know where you are.

01:15:51More stupid, bloody coordinates to cross off the list.

01:15:53Moro, I'll move on to G7.

01:15:56G7.

01:16:00G7, part one.

01:16:16You look like a big man, with extra cheese.

01:16:21More voices detected directly below.

01:16:23Getting dark will have to continue in G7 tomorrow.

01:16:29G7.

01:16:30Who was?

01:16:34G7.

01:16:40Where are you, Kim?

01:16:45So that's north.

01:16:56Oh, that tastes like socks and carpet.

01:17:04Which idiot put oat milk in the fridge?

01:17:14Harry, listen, I don't know if I'm going to need a policewoman or a lawyer.

01:17:19What?

01:17:21No, I'm not planning a stag party.

01:17:23Get over here.

01:17:24I'm in the woods behind this place.

01:17:26I'm in the woods.

01:17:42It's a fascinating penetration of the reserve within five minutes, sir.

01:17:46Excellent, Iris.

01:17:49Soon, our beloved New Zealand will have enough gas to power her flat screens deep into the night.

01:17:58Let's fuck this joint!

01:18:01Sorry about this, miss, but it'll be good to have an experience to eat.

01:18:08Oh, wow. That might have been a bit much.

01:18:11Brendan!

01:18:12Ken, I thought I was gonna have to kiss Deez Nuts goodbye.

01:18:15Boy, Deez Nuts ain't going anywhere, my friend.

01:18:19My guy, you're Mitch.

01:18:21Are you from the CIA?

01:18:23No, I'm Brendan Brandon, your know-nothing nephew.

01:18:25I follow the clues you left.

01:18:27Well, did you hate to follow them so slowly?

01:18:29I'll be going out of my mind down here.

01:18:31And my back's killing me!

01:18:33Brendan, you need to get the keys.

01:18:35Sure. Wait, what?

01:18:37You're Strawberry John. How was New Zealand?

01:18:39Did you go inside that giant inflatable ball where they push you downhill,

01:18:42you know, and then you gotta kinda steer while you're in it?

01:18:45I'm dying to do that thing.

01:18:46Oh, I think you might have me confused with someone else.

01:18:49Some avocado, John.

01:18:50No, you're not.

01:18:51You know you're not allowed to pick your own nickname, Strawberry.

01:18:54That's true, actually.

01:18:55Brendan, the keys!

01:18:57Yeah, okay, right.

01:18:59Kimmy, by the way, I'm sorry about what I said.

01:19:01I don't wanna go.

01:19:02Maybe I can drive Esme's taxi on our free nights.

01:19:04We can talk about it later, okay?

01:19:05You've got to stop Zoran.

01:19:06He's about to dump a load of chemicals into the aquifer.

01:19:09If he does, all these farms are gonna be ruined.

01:19:11Got it!

01:19:12Mitch!

01:19:13Yes.

01:19:15Okay, go.

01:19:15We're gonna be fine.

01:19:16Go, go get Zoran.

01:19:17Go!

01:19:18No, no, no, no, not now.

01:19:20Not now.

01:19:21Not now.

01:19:23Ow!

01:19:24Clouded house!

01:19:25Oh, come on, Satan.

01:19:28We're so close, I can almost smell the gas.

01:19:32Zoran!

01:19:33You cheese-eating bastard!

01:19:35Stop whatever crazy shit you're doing right now!

01:19:38And you're too late.

01:19:39You take one step closer, and I will push this button.

01:19:42Not yet, sir.

01:19:43Twenty seconds to go.

01:19:46You couldn't keep that to yourself?

01:19:56Come on, Mitch.

01:19:57Come on, Mitch.

01:19:58Come on, Mitch.

01:20:00Come on, Mitch.

01:20:04No, no, no, no!

01:20:06No, no, no, no!

01:20:08No!

01:20:08Yes!

01:20:09No!

01:20:10No!

01:20:11No!

01:20:12Yes!

01:20:13Aw, what are we doing?

01:20:15You two sort yourselves out?

01:20:21Iris! Iris! Come on, that's the longest ten seconds ever!

01:20:26Sorry, just a little firmware update.

01:20:34Get the rematch!

01:20:49No, not a blackout!

01:21:20Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, hurry up, hurry up, step back, up the ladder!

01:21:27Sam!

01:21:35Looking for these, milk breath?

01:21:40Oh, you son of a hippie!

01:21:52Sweet ass.

01:21:53I did make my quota! Use thieving, low-flying duck tass!

01:21:59Suck my nutsack, Zora!

01:22:02Brandon, come on, we gotta go!

01:22:09You cowardice Iris brings a shadow of shame upon the long white cloud!

01:22:15Let's go home, cuz.

01:22:19Our duel is not yet finished!

01:22:22Come back down and face me!

01:22:26Hey!

01:22:28Seth!

01:22:30Come with us!

01:22:31Please!

01:22:32You and I can start again!

01:22:34In a less hostile country!

01:22:36Really, we have one small setback and you're gonna walk out the door!

01:22:41God!

01:22:41If you leave Iris, we will never steal together again!

01:22:46Zoran!

01:22:47Hey, even though no one likes you up here, you should probably get out of there!

01:22:51I don't face some kangaroo court!

01:22:55No!

01:22:56Thank you!

01:22:58Iris!

01:23:02You make me sick to my four stomachs!

01:23:15Are you okay?

01:23:16I didn't fail!

01:23:17I didn't fail!

01:23:19What?

01:23:19Is Harry here?

01:23:20Harry!

01:23:21Sack!

01:23:22Check my sack!

01:23:23It must be at least 12 kilos!

01:23:25Mitch!

01:23:27You're alive!

01:23:29Oh, thank God!

01:23:31Oh, Harry, my darling!

01:23:32I thought I'd never see you again!

01:23:36So do you still think all my theories are crazy?

01:23:40I'm just happy that you're okay.

01:23:42Okay and desperately in need of a shower.

01:23:50Oh, young love.

01:24:00I'm very proud of you, Brendan.

01:24:02Thanks for bringing him home.

01:24:04Well, you're welcome, Harry.

01:24:05Aside from saving me from being a mole person, Harry tells me you've shown some real grit, Brendan.

01:24:11Family farm is yours, if you still want it.

01:24:15I'd like that a lot.

01:24:16I mean, it's hard work, but weirdly, I think I really like being a farmer.

01:24:24But you're still alive, Mitch.

01:24:26I mean, what are you gonna do?

01:24:28I realize down there what's important, and I've no time to waste.

01:24:31Harry and I are going traveling, and if we still like each other after that, maybe we'll get married.

01:24:37Maybe I'm not too old to make that mistake again, but I will need a better proposal than that.

01:24:43By the way, Uncle Mitch, for what it's worth, I promise to make ongoing attempts to not let you down

01:24:47completely.

01:24:49Might have to come by and teach you a thing or two about farming before we leave, though.

01:24:54Yeah, that didn't go too well.

01:24:57Say, Uncle Mitch, what's with that freaky chicken of yours?

01:25:00That's where I hide my crypto wallet.

01:25:02I've been following your blog for years, and I have a very nice nest egg to show for it.

01:25:06Lucky I went missing before you started pushing Digido.

01:25:10Son of a gun.

01:25:20So, does that mean that you might be sticking around a bit longer?

01:25:24It does look that way, ma'am.

01:25:29Next, we'll have to sort out your visa.

01:25:32A lot easier if you two were married.

01:25:36Tell me all the things you would change

01:25:40I don't pretend to know what you want

01:25:44When you come around and spend my talk

01:25:47Time and again, time and again

01:25:51No fire where I lit my spark

01:25:57I am not afraid of the dark

01:26:00Will your words devour my heart

01:26:04And put me to shame

01:26:06Put me to shame

01:26:08When your seven worlds collide

01:26:13Whenever I am by your side

01:26:16Then dust from a distant sun

01:26:20Will shower over everyone

01:26:32You're still so young to travel so far

01:26:36Old enough to know who you are

01:26:40Wise enough to carry the scars

01:26:43Without any blame

01:26:45There's no one to blame

01:26:47It's easy to forget what you learned

01:26:51It's easy to forget what you learned

01:26:53Waiting for the thrill to return

01:26:56Feeling your desire burn

01:27:00And drum to the plane

01:27:02And your seven worlds collide

01:27:06Whenever I am by your side

01:27:11dust from a distant sun

01:27:15Dust from a distant sun

01:27:16Shower over everyone

01:27:19Dust from a distant sun

01:27:22Dust from a distant sun

01:27:24Agh!

01:27:25Ah.

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