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  • 2 days ago
The Nut Farm
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00:27:02I meant kilometers.
00:27:04But that would be like three feet.
00:27:06Or...
00:27:07Or are kilometers the big one?
00:27:09God!
00:27:10I always confuse kilometers with millimeters.
00:27:42G'day, mate. You must be the new bloke in town.
00:27:45Yeah, that's right.
00:27:46I'm Darren. Call me Dazza.
00:27:47Oh, okay. I'm Brendan. But you can call me Brenda.
00:27:53Sorry. Had to run Harry home to sleep it off.
00:27:56Don't think he'll be billing anybody this afternoon.
00:27:59Esme, this is Brenda.
00:28:03So, you work here too?
00:28:05Go wherever the pay is, love. Get your drink.
00:28:07We got Joseph's Brew, Double K Fat Bastard on tap.
00:28:09I'm afraid I'm out of Kelly's piss.
00:28:11Well, actually, I just popped in to find out if there's a general store around
00:28:14because I need basic supplies.
00:28:16Of course there is, love.
00:28:18You're standing in the middle of it.
00:28:20Mate, this is cobweb CDB, mate.
00:28:24Central...
00:28:26...Disness...
00:28:26...Bistrict?
00:28:28Country dual business, love.
00:28:30You get them in rural areas.
00:28:32So, the post office is also the cop shop.
00:28:34The public pool doubles as the crocodile shelter.
00:28:38That kind of thing.
00:28:39Do you have soaked granola?
00:28:43Well, I could probably run a packet of cornflakes under the tap for you.
00:28:48What about mouthwash?
00:28:54Blistering bushfires.
00:28:56How's it going here?
00:29:00I hope those fridges haven't been off for long.
00:29:05Greetings.
00:29:07Esme, saucy old duck.
00:29:10I'll take your milk, your yoghurt and all of your cheese, please.
00:29:13You're not cleaning us out like you did last time, Zoran.
00:29:18I'm putting a limit on you.
00:29:19Please do.
00:29:20Just limit me to all the fresh ones that are still under four degrees.
00:29:25So, big on the dairy, huh?
00:29:28Yes.
00:29:28I require more than the average person.
00:29:31I'm what's known as lactose inadequate.
00:29:34Are you sure that's a thing?
00:29:36Oh, I know who you are.
00:29:38You're none other than old Mitch's know-nothing nephew from America.
00:29:43Well, I do know a few things, buddy.
00:29:4550,000 people used to follow my crypto blog.
00:29:48That's so exciting.
00:29:50Did they follow you all the way down here?
00:29:52I believe we're almost neighbors.
00:29:53You're nobody's neighbors, Zoran.
00:29:56You're nobody's neighbors, Zoran.
00:29:58That's physically impossible.
00:30:00Best be on your bike, Zoran.
00:30:02You stupid shitbird.
00:30:12Very well, Dazza.
00:30:16It's nice to see everyone hard at work.
00:30:21Don't worry.
00:30:23It'll all be alright in the end.
00:30:26And if not, it'll just drag on.
00:30:30And seemingly never end.
00:30:32Right?
00:30:38Oh, what an asshat.
00:30:42Now, this is either mouthwash or drain cleaner.
00:30:46Might be a good idea to test it.
00:30:48If you drain, smell good enough to kiss.
00:30:51It's probably mouthwash.
00:30:52Great.
00:31:04What?
00:31:04You guys!
00:31:05Turn and spread them!
00:31:06What the hell?
00:31:08I didn't...
00:31:08I didn't do anything!
00:31:10You're American, aren't you?
00:31:11Yeah, but that's not a crime, is it?
00:31:13Just trying to make you feel at home.
00:31:16I'm fine.
00:31:17Thanks.
00:31:18At least I was.
00:31:20Just trying to be nice.
00:31:21Sergeant Blake, Cobweb Homicide slash Postal Division.
00:31:25Homicide?
00:31:26Slash Postal.
00:31:28What do you know about today's disappearance of Strawberry John?
00:31:32Strawberry who?
00:31:33Strawberry John.
00:31:34Farmer who lives near your place.
00:31:36Yeah, I wonder what he grows.
00:31:38Avocados.
00:31:41Well, he used to grow strawberries, but he hated the nickname.
00:31:45Enough talking about farming.
00:31:48When did you last see him?
00:31:50I've never seen him.
00:31:52Ever.
00:31:52Sounds suspicious.
00:31:53How do you even know where I live?
00:31:55It's my job to know things.
00:31:57Oh, is it?
00:31:58Then maybe you know what happened to my Uncle Mitch?
00:32:01Alright, drop the tone.
00:32:03Considering you inherited his farm, maybe I should be asking where you were when he disappeared.
00:32:09I was in San Francisco.
00:32:10And what were you doing in San Francisco?
00:32:12Well, let's see.
00:32:13I was really busy not even knowing he existed.
00:32:18Guess that counts you out then.
00:32:20This is ridiculous.
00:32:21Can I go now?
00:32:22Yeah.
00:32:24But I'm watching you.
00:32:26So don't leave town, eh?
00:32:28Yeah, if only I could.
00:32:34Enjoy your milk.
00:32:35Our farmers are the best.
00:32:42Oh, why is everything so difficult in this back-ass man's country?
00:32:46Sir?
00:32:46What?
00:32:47What?
00:32:48I'm afraid we've just squeezed the last gas out from under Esme's place.
00:32:52My place.
00:32:53I bought it.
00:32:54It's my place.
00:32:55So I'm the one with the massive gas problem.
00:32:57This is a bloody disaster.
00:32:59We dig a tunnel all the way from the motherland.
00:33:01We put in a secret gas pipeline.
00:33:03And now you're telling me we don't have enough gas to squeeze through it.
00:33:06What's the latest test results say?
00:33:08Some below D's.
00:33:10But the real reserves are under old Mitch's nut farm.
00:33:15Biggest I've ever seen.
00:33:16Really?
00:33:18Well then, focus in that direction.
00:33:21Forget about the rock shelf.
00:33:22We go fast and close to the surface.
00:33:25Not too close, boss.
00:33:26Or we'll risk another cave-in.
00:33:28That last one took a lot of effort to clean up.
00:33:37That strawberry guy was so difficult to work with.
00:33:40Oh.
00:33:41Look.
00:33:41Once we get above Mitch's reserves, we go vertical.
00:33:45Delve deep into the bowels of the earth.
00:33:47Spill some chemicals into that beloved aquifer they all bang on about.
00:33:51Iris, it is time to frack some more of this stupid island.
00:33:59And keep our beloved New Zealand powered, pristine and green.
00:34:05What about the nut farm's new occupant?
00:34:07Well, the greatest American, ding dong.
00:34:09Nah, he's so stupid he wouldn't even be able to tie his own shoes together.
00:34:12Iris, get digging.
00:34:20Yeah, I think this has probably got a staple cord.
00:34:24All pumped and ready for some first-time tractoring.
00:34:30Great work, Carl.
00:34:32You know, you're a handy guy to know.
00:34:34Hey there.
00:34:35Ah.
00:34:36Hi.
00:34:36Brendan, look.
00:34:38It's my still-attractive-for-her-age mother.
00:34:40I'm sorry.
00:34:41I don't know where he picks these things up from.
00:34:43Well, he's not wrong, so.
00:34:46Well, anyway, thanks for letting me borrow young Carl here, miss.
00:34:51I had to get my tractor up and running so I can get out there and, you know, do some
00:34:57shoveling.
00:34:59Mmm, yeah.
00:35:00It certainly sounds like something a farmer might say.
00:35:02And that sounds like something another farmer might say about something a farmer might say.
00:35:07Thus, two farmers saying stuff together.
00:35:13Come on.
00:35:14Oh, hey, Kim.
00:35:15Thanks for sending that gift basket over the other day with Carl.
00:35:20You have beautiful handwriting.
00:35:23Oh, yeah, of course.
00:35:25It would be, um, rude to not properly welcome you to the neighborhood.
00:35:29And I really enjoyed the bell pepper.
00:35:33But if you're as sick of Mom's meals as I am...
00:35:35Excuse me?
00:35:36What was that?
00:35:37We could all go out to the town's only restaurant.
00:35:39All of us?
00:35:40Uh, no.
00:35:41How about Thursday?
00:35:42You've got nothing on Thursday, Mom.
00:35:44I already cleared your schedule.
00:35:46Actually, I'm pretty sure Phillip has plans on Thursday already, so I'm free too.
00:35:51Thank you, my little angel.
00:35:58Let's go home.
00:36:00Carl?
00:36:01Bye, Carl.
00:36:04Bye, Carl.
00:36:18Your ass is grass!
00:36:20Grass!
00:36:23You made a big mistake growing here, grass!
00:36:28Say hello to my little tractor!
00:36:31Oh!
00:36:32Oh, yeah!
00:36:36I go both ways, baby!
00:36:51Woo-hoo!
00:36:53Brandon Brandon 1, army 0!
00:37:02Nailed it!
00:37:05Phillip!
00:37:06I'm home!
00:37:07Hope you've got plenty to eat today.
00:37:19Good one, Phillip.
00:37:21You got me.
00:37:22You eight-legged knucklehead.
00:37:31Good one, Phillip.
00:37:34You got me.
00:37:37You eight-legged knucklehead.
00:37:41You got me.
00:37:41How bad is this music?
00:37:42You had to hide it.
00:38:01March 5E8, more suspicious signs stumbled across what looks to be soil test holes en route to next checked area.
00:38:09I suspect it's connected, but evidence is scattered.
00:38:12Evidence?
00:38:12What's he talking about?
00:38:29Um, shouldn't that cell door be locked?
00:38:33No, no, he doesn't make it home from the pub all the time, so I saved some time and gave
00:38:37him a key.
00:38:38Oh, okay.
00:38:42Are you looking to post that somewhere today, sir?
00:38:44No, but I think maybe Mitch found something that got him in trouble.
00:38:47One second.
00:38:56I think the birds are up tonight, good.
00:38:58No, that's not what I...
00:39:00Alright, hang on.
00:39:01Let me find the red spot.
00:39:03Here, I'm going to turn it up.
00:39:14Is this some kind of joke?
00:39:16No, Mitch has all kinds of different recordings.
00:39:18I mean, there's some really crazy stuff in there.
00:39:20Yeah, well, he would.
00:39:21Mitch was a total conspiracy nut.
00:39:23I was always coming in here complaining about stuff.
00:39:25One time he filed a complaint about chemtrails, as if there's anything I can do about chemtrails.
00:39:28They're controlled by aliens.
00:39:30Maybe what happened to Mitch, it's the same thing that happened to Strawberry John.
00:39:34Actually, glad you brought that up.
00:39:37That has been solved, thanks to yours truly.
00:39:40Look, received these in the mail this morning.
00:39:43Looks like Strawberry John's taken himself on a spontaneous little trip to New Zealand.
00:39:46So, reckons he's having the time of his life.
00:39:50That does look pretty fun.
00:39:55Nice of him to send postcards.
00:39:57It's so much nicer than an email.
00:39:59Better than the dick pics he usually sends.
00:40:12I'm parched as bro.
00:40:15This place is hotter than a volcano's asshole.
00:40:18Which bit is its asshole?
00:40:19The bit that's on top, of course.
00:40:22Hey.
00:40:23Isn't that the face?
00:40:24Volcanoes don't have faces.
00:40:26Come on.
00:40:27Let's get a drink.
00:40:35Oh, excuse me.
00:40:36Sorry.
00:40:37Brenda!
00:40:38How's it going?
00:40:39Farm life good?
00:40:40It's okay.
00:40:41Here's my...
00:40:41Hit him up with a beer, eh?
00:40:43Look, I...
00:40:44I gotta go.
00:40:45So hungry I could eat the arse out of a low flying duck.
00:40:52Say, Esme.
00:40:53Is there a mine nearby?
00:40:55Or something like that?
00:40:56Nope.
00:40:57No mine around here, love.
00:40:59Nice to see some fresh faces, Buck.
00:41:02We haven't had any tourists around here since the mayor took down those giant dangling nuts
00:41:07on the way into town.
00:41:08Hmm.
00:41:10Sorry I missed that.
00:41:12Oh.
00:41:15Look who the sheep dragged in.
00:41:17If it isn't my favorite Australian.
00:41:20This is the worst job ever, boss.
00:41:25Jubbering on about shrumps on Barbies and tuts on bulls.
00:41:29And adding completely unnecessary vows to the end of perfectly good words.
00:41:34And thus, I'm absolutely sucked to dick of getting about on this outfit that hasn't been washed in six months.
00:41:43Don't let the convict fashion get you down, Mr. Dazzer.
00:41:47You're part of something far greater than yourself.
00:41:49And you're not paid to complain.
00:41:53Found these rits topside.
00:41:55End in uniform.
00:41:56Oh, come on boss.
00:41:58We've been down here forever.
00:42:00We just need a little vitamin D.
00:42:01Well I'll give you a little vitamin kick up the arse if you don't get back to work.
00:42:06Move.
00:42:06Go.
00:42:07Back to work.
00:42:07Mmm.
00:42:08Come on.
00:42:13Now, tell me about our new American neighbor.
00:42:21Will he flee home before we start tunneling under his land or do I have to pay him a little
00:42:27visit?
00:42:30Sorry, what was the question?
00:42:32I was asking if I had to pay him a little visit.
00:42:34Sorry, I zoned out for a second.
00:42:36That's okay.
00:42:37A wee bit difficult to tell actually.
00:42:39Really?
00:42:40Yeah.
00:42:41What's he like?
00:42:42Thoroughly decent chap as far as I'm concerned.
00:42:45Yeah.
00:43:04I reckon this will make your life a little easier.
00:43:07Do you want me to throw it up to you?
00:43:08That's okay.
00:43:09I'll come down.
00:43:11You sure?
00:43:15Russell Crowe, it's hot up here.
00:43:19I thought I'd come and offer you an official welcome.
00:43:22You wouldn't happen to have any nice refreshing cheese, would you?
00:43:36Good stuff.
00:43:38Was that single origin?
00:43:40I believe so.
00:43:42It's magnificent.
00:43:47You have some milk to wash it down?
00:43:49Sorry.
00:43:50Haven't been to the pub today.
00:43:55So, Mr. Brandon.
00:43:57Brandon.
00:43:58Brandon.
00:43:59No, it's Mr. Brandon.
00:44:01Mr. Brandon.
00:44:03First, may I offer my sincere condolences on the tragic death of your Uncle Mitch?
00:44:07I mean, people say he's dead, but-
00:44:09As he most surely is.
00:44:11I mean, the land around here claims so many.
00:44:14It's a grueling life being a farmer, and at the end your uncle was broken and bent double
00:44:19by enduring hardship, and I would not be at all surprised if he just crawled off into
00:44:26the bush and lay down forever under his favorite tree.
00:44:29You wouldn't happen to know where that is, would you?
00:44:31You are from San Francisco, from what I hear.
00:44:33Yeah.
00:44:33San Francisco, my favorite of all the cities.
00:44:36After Christchurch.
00:44:38And Auckland.
00:44:38And Wellington.
00:44:39And, uh, and-
00:44:43And Queenstown.
00:44:45Squish.
00:44:47And, uh, Farmerston North.
00:44:51But you must miss it terribly.
00:44:53Well, sure.
00:44:54I mean, there's a few things I miss, like sourdough bowls, uh, same-day delivery, medical
00:44:59marijuana, sourdough bowls.
00:45:02They take the bread and they hollow out the bread and put the clam chowder in the bread.
00:45:06So you eat the soup, and then you eat the bowl.
00:45:10I mean, it must be so hard, being so far from home in a place that's so strange, knowing
00:45:19that you stare down a fate as miserable as poor old Mitch.
00:45:23I mean, still, I mean, you could always just sell up.
00:45:26You know?
00:45:27Move back to the big smoke with a big fat slab of cash in your pocket, but...
00:45:31Well, actually, the will that Harry had me sign had a few surprise conditions in it.
00:45:36Harry, the old bush lawyer, huh?
00:45:39Yeah.
00:45:40He's been quite the prick in my ointment, too.
00:45:44You know, just let me know if you ever want to get together in Eggers car.
00:45:50Sure.
00:45:51In the meantime, my sylvan soulmate, my, my, my, my countrified companion, tell me about
00:45:59these will problems.
00:46:04Don't let mom catch you making friends with that turd-faced Zoran Clegg, or we won't
00:46:08be able to go out on a date tonight.
00:46:10Yeah.
00:46:11And I gotta start locking that dog door.
00:46:13That's not how I get in.
00:46:14Did you just say, our date is tonight?
00:46:17I'll help you pick an outfit.
00:46:29It's an interesting new look.
00:46:30I told you.
00:46:34Hey.
00:46:35I'd tell you the specials, but we don't have any.
00:46:38Esme?
00:46:39Do you ever sleep?
00:46:41I need the wheel.
00:46:43So, drinks to stop?
00:46:45Yeah, do you have, uh, vegan water?
00:46:47Only tap and bottle.
00:46:49Tap.
00:46:51I'll get both.
00:46:52And wine.
00:46:56So, Brendan, what kind of romantic activities do you enjoy?
00:47:01Carl.
00:47:01Sorry, he watches too much TV.
00:47:03No, I mean, I don't mind answering, Kim.
00:47:05Carl, I, uh, let's see, I enjoy fine dining, uh, three-person, multi-generational dates.
00:47:11Being interrogated on said dates is always a real pleasure.
00:47:15What do you see as your biggest weakness?
00:47:18Sorry.
00:47:19Buddy, I thought we agreed if I didn't leave you at home to kill yourself by accident, you
00:47:23wouldn't be a weirdo.
00:47:24So, Kim.
00:47:26Hmm.
00:47:26I saw you moving your herd the other day.
00:47:28Oh, yeah, my cows.
00:47:30All 144 of them.
00:47:32Wow.
00:47:33That's a lot.
00:47:33I mean, I've always been a dog person.
00:47:35So, I guess that makes you a cow person?
00:47:38A dairy farmer, I'd say.
00:47:41Yeah, I took over the farm when mum and dad retired.
00:47:44Cool.
00:47:45You okay, buddy?
00:47:55You do realize that there's entire islands of plastic waste in the ocean, right?
00:48:00You know, I would drink to tap, and I'm sure the locals think it's lovely, but if I'm
00:48:05to be honest, it tastes a little bit odd to me.
00:48:08Odd?
00:48:09How?
00:48:10Sort of like it was fresh squeezed from Satan's G-string.
00:48:14Odd.
00:48:15What's a G-string?
00:48:16I'll explain that a bit later in very little detail.
00:48:20Try this.
00:48:30See?
00:48:31You know what?
00:48:32I reckon you need to get your rainwater tank checked.
00:48:33Mom?
00:48:34Rightio, what's going on?
00:48:35Come on.
00:48:36Good.
00:48:37When was the last time that you did a really big...
00:48:39Sorry about this.
00:48:40Do your thing.
00:48:41When did you last do a big poo?
00:48:43Don't use that word at the dinner table.
00:48:45Well, it's pretty obvious to me that none of the blokes at this table drink enough water.
00:48:49Come on.
00:48:49You're coming with me.
00:48:50Let's go.
00:48:50I'm not going to the ladies.
00:48:52Well, you're just going to have to sort it out by yourself then, won't you?
00:48:54Well, things are really stuck.
00:48:55What do I do?
00:48:58You're going to have to take me.
00:49:00Me?
00:49:01I don't think that's a problem.
00:49:05I've seen plumbers unblock my sink before.
00:49:09This isn't so different.
00:49:12Nice wood paddling.
00:49:15How's it going in there, buddy?
00:49:17It came out halfway.
00:49:18And then it stopped.
00:49:20It's swinging.
00:49:22Alright, alright.
00:49:22Carl, can you see the water below you?
00:49:24That's your target.
00:49:25That's what you're aiming for.
00:49:27There's hardly any water.
00:49:28I don't get it either, man.
00:49:30In America, we'd fill the toilet up to the brim.
00:49:32Your cheeks get a rinse when you sit down.
00:49:34But an Australian toilet, I'm not going to lie, Carl.
00:49:36It's more like a shot glass at the bottom of a well.
00:49:39And it does take a bit of marksmanship.
00:49:41That's fine if your poops are coming out like .52 caliber slugs.
00:49:45But honestly, bro, when I use a toilet, it's like a sawed off shotgun went off in there.
00:49:50I got a real wide spread.
00:49:56Nice.
00:50:02Hey, you two have gone a while.
00:50:05You okay, baby?
00:50:06Yep.
00:50:07All clear now.
00:50:08As long as we never speak of this again.
00:50:10Sounds good to me, Carl.
00:50:12Hey, mind if I go visit Chef?
00:50:14Sure.
00:50:15Go on.
00:50:17But no rice wine.
00:50:19And don't touch the knives.
00:50:22All right.
00:50:24So how do you do this?
00:50:25That's classified information.
00:50:26That's between Carl, myself, and that lady over there.
00:50:36So, can we start again?
00:50:39Yes.
00:50:40Woo!
00:50:41What was that?
00:50:42Here.
00:50:43Try some of this vinegar.
00:50:44Dab it on wherever they got you.
00:50:46God damn.
00:50:47I didn't think car ants were real.
00:50:48Feels like a burning javelin in my neck.
00:50:50Don't worry.
00:50:51It'll go numb in a minute.
00:50:52What will?
00:50:52My whole body?
00:50:53Isma, you've really got to get this old rust fumigated.
00:50:56Vinegar's cheaper.
00:50:58Well, not the end of the night I was hoping for.
00:51:01But, you know, it's still nice to get out of the spider share house for a little while,
00:51:04I guess.
00:51:06Oh.
00:51:07It's the nicest thing that anyone's said to me in the years.
00:51:10Really?
00:51:12Yeah.
00:51:13Is this the bit where they put spit in each other's mouths?
00:51:16Ooh.
00:51:17Hand me my glasses, will you?
00:51:18I probably should have been wearing them anyway.
00:51:22Yeah, I'm gonna take my boy and his overactive imagination home.
00:51:28Alright, that's probably a good idea.
00:51:30By the way, chef, great cooking tonight.
00:51:31That sweet and sour dish was, it was something.
00:51:38Well, terrific date, everybody.
00:51:42We should invite more people next time.
00:51:44Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
00:51:46Ha ha ha ha ha!
00:52:00Peter Jackson!
00:52:07iris iris what was all that bloody noise about we're supposed to be doing a secret operation
00:52:14we've hit some kind of obstacle sir probably just more dinosaur bones
00:52:18had to do a little blasting well blast quietly
00:52:45hey d hey did you hear any loud noises outside last night can't say i did but mrs d and
00:52:52i were up
00:52:52celebrating our 40th anniversary 40 years how old are you d ah you know what they say a hard life
00:53:00in
00:53:00the sun keeps you looking young no i don't think anyone's ever said that actually like ever huh
00:53:07anyway it's forecast to be extra hot this week so make sure you water those trees will do thanks d
00:53:25d
00:53:32we could put him to work with the others i don't know it's a bit weird this one
00:53:40uh mr boss man one of those funny farmer fellas have fallen in the tunnels again
00:53:46how on god's earth does this keep happening you told us to dig near the surface sir
00:53:51please don't twist my words yeah see i wasn't twisting them that time
00:53:54oh my god why is this so hard well i actually just want to know what to
00:53:57but no words no words no words you'd be lost without me sir
00:54:06ah fucker
00:54:09oh
00:54:11not running
00:54:16ah
00:54:18ah
00:54:19ah
00:54:20ah
00:54:45that's what that terrible noise was
00:54:50one all
00:54:51one all
00:54:55ah
00:55:04ah
00:55:05ah
00:55:07ah
00:55:08ah
00:55:09ah
00:55:11ah
00:55:12ah
00:55:13ah
00:55:13ah
00:55:21ah
00:55:23ah
00:55:23ah
00:55:27ah
00:55:29ah
00:55:29ah
00:55:35ah
00:55:36ah
00:55:44Brendan Brandon pulls into the lead.
00:55:59Oh, please don't be Mitch.
00:56:03Oh, this is definitely not vegan water.
00:56:08Oh!
00:56:11Oh.
00:56:11I think I just came over looking for some fencing wire.
00:56:14Hey, Kim.
00:56:16Poor blighter.
00:56:17Thanks, yeah, it's been a hell of a day.
00:56:19I was talking about the duck.
00:56:21Oh.
00:56:22Strange it even got in there.
00:56:23You know you're gonna need to get that tank emptied,
00:56:26sterilized, refilled.
00:56:28Why does farming have to be so much work?
00:56:30Well, lucky this one's a job for the experts.
00:56:32You know what?
00:56:33I'm just gonna text Esme.
00:56:34I'll get her to bring over a vacuum and some cleaning tools.
00:56:37Esme's the tank person as well?
00:56:39Uh-huh.
00:56:40No, she doesn't have much choice, does she?
00:56:41Ever since she sold her farm to that dick-nosed Zoron.
00:56:45Maybe she barely even covered her debts.
00:56:47Yeah, that Zoron doesn't seem very farmerish to me.
00:56:50And it takes one who's not one to know one who's not one.
00:56:53Well, he never was one.
00:56:55He's just an easy gas money salesman.
00:56:58So no wonder my water tasted like ass.
00:57:00It had actual ass in it.
00:57:02Low-flying duck's ass.
00:57:06You think that's a saying, don't you?
00:57:07I learned it at the pub.
00:57:08It's just, it's not flying very high,
00:57:10so it's like really hungry.
00:57:13I mean, I'm hungry.
00:57:17Sir, we have movement detected in the main tunnel.
00:57:21You'd better not be more deserters.
00:57:27Hey, guys.
00:57:28Uh, we're looking for Sydney.
00:57:30No, idiot.
00:57:31That tunnel is just pipe gas back home to New Zealand.
00:57:35It's not a sightseeing hike for dilly-dallying tourists.
00:57:38Back the way you came.
00:57:40Ah, not many sights, bro.
00:57:42It's just darkness longer than Moria.
00:57:43It was the cheapest way to get to Australia.
00:57:46Why would you want to come to Australia?
00:57:48It's full of Australians.
00:57:50They have bad beer.
00:57:53They... malign.
00:57:54All the great New Zealanders.
00:57:55Don't even get me started on the whole cab motor thing.
00:58:00Um...
00:58:01Sir?
00:58:02No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:58:04no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:58:05no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:58:05Don't leave the hatch open during the day.
00:58:07You're gonna ruin everything, you traitors.
00:58:09Guys, I'm real sorry about this, Cape Ranchet, but it's only gonna hurt for a second.
00:58:24Sergeant Blake.
00:58:26How are you?
00:58:27Hands where I can see him.
00:58:29Oh, hey.
00:58:30Listen, I appreciate your unique brand of hospitality, but I'm settling in just fine, thanks.
00:58:36It's your mail.
00:58:37This is a prank.
00:58:40Oh.
00:58:41Delivering the mail?
00:58:42Well, it is my job.
00:58:43Sorry.
00:58:45Oh, great.
00:58:46This must be my snake repellent.
00:58:48What do you know about the disappearance of Farmer Dee?
00:58:50Wait, which job are you now?
00:58:51Don't play dumb with me, Mr. Brandon.
00:58:54Did you say Dee's missing?
00:58:55What do you know about it?
00:58:56Because you look real suspicious to me.
00:58:59Actually, I think you should come down to the station.
00:59:01We need to have a chat.
00:59:03And a newsflash.
00:59:05You're under arrest.
00:59:07But I'm an American citizen, so you haven't read me my Miranda rights.
00:59:11Plus, I get one phone call.
00:59:13Okay.
00:59:15Well, you call this Miranda chick, and then come and find me when you're ready.
00:59:20I'll be over here, sorting letters.
00:59:25Sure.
00:59:35Even if she did arrest somebody, where would they sit?
00:59:38I don't suspect she's ever had that problem.
00:59:48Did she just litter?
00:59:51First Mitch, now Farmer Dee?
00:59:54I mean, something's going on around here, Harry.
00:59:56Do you think maybe Mitch was onto something?
00:59:58He wouldn't tell me what his latest project was until he had all the pieces in place.
01:00:03I wouldn't give it much stock.
01:00:07Mitch was a secretive bugger.
01:00:09Had all kinds of working theories.
01:00:12You know what they say.
01:00:13Crazy in the head, crazy in the bed.
01:00:19Speaking of which, Esme told me that when Kim picked up her bread and milk, she also bought a couple
01:00:25of packets of condom.
01:00:27Two packs?
01:00:28One medium, and small.
01:00:35I'll see you at the weigh-in.
01:00:39All right, Harry.
01:00:44Who are the mediums for?
01:00:54Hey!
01:00:55You go enjoy your sleepover, buddy.
01:00:57You have some fun, okay?
01:00:59Hey!
01:01:01Thank you for trying to help me fix the fences, Esavo.
01:01:05Mwah.
01:01:06The cows will be fine, Mum.
01:01:08Go on, run along.
01:01:09I'm going to take a look around before it gets dark.
01:01:12Mum?
01:01:13Yeah?
01:01:14Studies show it's important to decompress at the end of a stressful day.
01:01:20Why don't you go and have a play-day with Brendan?
01:01:23He's not like anyone else around here, is he?
01:01:26He's cool for the only single guy in a 50k radio.
01:01:30Just be safe, okay?
01:01:32I like being our only child.
01:01:35Carl!
01:01:37Honestly, you...
01:01:39Things that come out of your mouth.
01:01:49Hey there!
01:01:50Hey!
01:01:51It's been a rough day.
01:01:52My cows have broken through an old fence, buggered off somewhere.
01:01:56Well, I could help you round them up.
01:01:57I've been practicing with Mitch's whip and I'm kind of a natural.
01:02:00Ah.
01:02:01I'd rather keep my eyeballs where I can see them.
01:02:04Huh.
01:02:04No, I think at this time of day it's just a good idea to have a drink.
01:02:07So I've got this first and, um...
01:02:10Well, Kim, harvest is tomorrow.
01:02:14Yeah, yeah.
01:02:15But...
01:02:16That does look like a pretty nice box of wine.
01:02:19Come on in.
01:02:22I'll be there in a second.
01:02:23Alright.
01:02:27Oi!
01:02:28Calm down!
01:02:41Enjoy your naughty wrestling while you can.
01:02:43Because you won't be making your 20 tons, Mr. Brindon Brindle.
01:02:48Brandon...
01:02:49Brindon...
01:02:50Brandon...
01:02:50Brandon...
01:02:50What would it be known as?
01:02:51Mmm.
01:02:54Mmm.
01:02:55Soon, Mitch's farm is gonna be nice.
01:02:58And...
01:02:59Empty.
01:03:14Good morning.
01:03:15Oh.
01:03:16Hi.
01:03:18Mmm.
01:03:18Could we not mention this to Carl?
01:03:20Because I just know he's...
01:03:21Kim, I know what you're gonna say.
01:03:22He'll take all the credit.
01:03:24That wouldn't be fair.
01:03:26What's this?
01:03:27Family hangover recipe.
01:03:29Passed down for a month.
01:03:29From my great-grandfather.
01:03:30God.
01:03:31Does this stuff even work?
01:03:33Nah.
01:03:33Seriously, Kim.
01:03:34Your country drinks wine out of a bag...
01:03:37That comes inside of a box.
01:03:38And you don't have a solution for this?
01:03:40Oh, we do.
01:03:41It's called Harden Up Princess.
01:03:50Good luck today.
01:03:52I'd love to stay and help, but I've gotta go and get my cows out of Zoron's land.
01:03:56Before he milks them to death.
01:03:57Yes.
01:03:58Okay.
01:03:59I'll see you later.
01:04:00Alright.
01:04:01Okay, bye.
01:04:08Why?
01:04:09Did I do this to myself on Harvest Day?
01:04:13We've got a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of work to do.
01:04:19Forget about your women when you want or can.
01:04:24Today you're working for the man.
01:04:33Today you're working for the man.
01:04:35I'm picking them up.
01:04:38I'm gonna lay them down.
01:04:41I'm gonna lay them down.
01:04:42I'm gonna lay them down.
01:04:46I'm gonna lay them down.
01:04:52I'm gonna lay them down.
01:04:54I'm gonna lay them down.
01:05:03I'm gonna lay them down.
01:05:06I'm gonna lay them down.
01:05:06I'm gonna lay them down.
01:05:07I'm gonna lay them down.
01:05:08I'm gonna lay them down.
01:05:08I'm gonna lay them down.
01:05:09I'm gonna lay them down.
01:05:10I'm gonna lay them down.
01:05:11I'm gonna lay them down.
01:05:12I'm gonna lay them down.
01:05:12Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:05:16Pick up your feet.
01:05:18You got a deadline on me.
01:05:20Back, back, back, back.
01:05:22I'm going to save you.
01:05:24I think you're going to tell me.
01:05:27You don't relax.
01:05:30Come on, Elmo.
01:05:31I'm going to have a back.
01:05:32I want to save you.
01:05:34Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever.
01:05:44Iris, what's the progress on the, uh, are these the nuts?
01:05:50Yes.
01:05:51Well, they can't be that hard to open.
01:05:53Oh, well, they're difficult.
01:05:55Come on, it's a bloody nut, Howard.
01:05:57You squashed it.
01:05:59That's kind of gross.
01:06:00Maybe it's easy to cut the things.
01:06:03Oh, careful, sir.
01:06:03I'm fine.
01:06:04I did a knife skills class with Peter Gordon.
01:06:07Ow.
01:06:08Oh, yes.
01:06:10Yes, yes.
01:06:12Oh, give it to me.
01:06:17Oh.
01:06:18That is the second worst thing I have ever put in my mouth.
01:06:24This is a stupid sport.
01:06:26What's the progress on the prototype frag droid?
01:06:29It should be reaching the midpoint of Mitch's farm.
01:06:32Oh, sweet.
01:06:33We go vertical, net minute, mother light.
01:06:39Oh.
01:06:54Looks like a pretty good load of nuts to me.
01:06:58It's a plethora of nuts.
01:07:00A veritable profusion of nuts, I would submit.
01:07:05I'll settle for sufficient.
01:07:08Mr. Brandon.
01:07:09It's Brandon.
01:07:10But never mind.
01:07:10What's the weight?
01:07:11The harvest come in just a bees dicks short of 20 tons.
01:07:14Sorry, I'm new to metric system.
01:07:16Where do bees dicks fit in?
01:07:19Look.
01:07:20Just take you to the front office and we'll get you sorted.
01:07:27Twelve kilos under.
01:07:29Is there any wiggle room in this?
01:07:31I'm very sorry, Brendan.
01:07:32I helped Mitch draft up his will before I knew you.
01:07:36And if you failed, we expected you to fail in a really big way.
01:07:41Not by just twelve kilograms.
01:07:45I worked so frickin' hard!
01:07:48Can we round up?
01:07:50Or give me another chance.
01:07:51I can do better.
01:07:52Any wiggle room I gave you would not stand up in court.
01:07:55And your awful cousin Craig would surely contest it and win.
01:08:02I'm so sorry.
01:08:04I really am.
01:08:06So that's it.
01:08:07I get nothing.
01:08:10Not even a tip.
01:08:11Which, by the way, in my country is customary when you appreciate someone's all-out effort.
01:08:16Every dollar from this crop has to be put back into the farm to keep it operating.
01:08:21That was the point of the 20-ton minimum.
01:08:24Well, can I at least have enough to fly back to the States?
01:08:28Put me down as farm equipment or an export.
01:08:31You can have all the frequent flyer points that Mitch and I were saving up.
01:08:35And that should be enough for a flight with maybe some left over.
01:08:39What am I going to do with extra frequent flyer points?
01:08:42I don't know.
01:08:42Maybe trade them for your imaginary coins.
01:08:45Or whatever they are.
01:08:51Good luck.
01:09:13Good luck.
01:09:29how much we short by well there was something about a bee with a 12 kilogram dick how would
01:09:40such a thing get off the ground even if it did it would break every flower it landed on
01:09:46probably get kicked out of the hive the queen would be sorry to see him go might as well drink
01:09:52this no
01:09:55i actually thought i was doing a pretty good job here i thought all this was gonna be mine
01:10:01i'm really sorry brendan you know you're gonna work something out you will kim this was me working
01:10:08things out and look where that's ended up i'm gonna go home in worse shape than i arrived
01:10:15you're going back to san francisco well it's clear that i'm no farmer and i never will be i mean
01:10:21the
01:10:21only thing i was ever good at was guessing crypto until i wasn't pal would be disappointed to hear
01:10:27that kim i didn't know i didn't mean it's fine i mean it's it's not like we promised each other
01:10:34or anything i mean well one day and a you know half decent wine fueled route and what's that
01:10:42you thought it was half decent i thought it was wine fueled
01:10:48let's not drag this out yeah i've got a lot to do so i'll see you around
01:10:55you you you you said decent also before the part after that
01:11:03so
01:11:10so
01:11:16so
01:12:08I thought we were getting along.
01:12:10I fed you and I watered you.
01:12:13And you couldn't give me 12 more lousy kilos?
01:12:17And I'm talking to you, John F. Kennetree.
01:12:20And you, macadamia winehouse.
01:12:23And you.
01:12:24You broke my heart, Leafer Sutherland.
01:12:48Where were you guys when I needed you?
01:13:08You broke my heart.
01:13:32And you broke my heart.
01:13:39And you broke my heart.
01:13:56Hopefully Mother Nature will water the trees for me while I continue my search.
01:14:04Breaking Dawn at Suspect Site.
01:14:08Appears to be a bunch of soil test holes.
01:14:11Something is afoot and afoot.
01:14:23Hey, it's Kim. I'm probably milking cows right now, so leave a message.
01:14:27Hi, Kim. Listen, I'm sorry about before. I know I've been a real low-flying duck's ass lately.
01:14:33I don't even know what I was trying to say, but listen, I think I've discovered something.
01:14:46March 15, G8. The entrance has to be around here somewhere.
01:14:55Entrance? Entrance to what?
01:14:56Trust me, cunt. I know volcanoes.
01:14:58I doubt you've even been to a volcano.
01:15:06Uh, Mr. Cleek, boss one day.
01:15:08Can't be sure, but I think we're being spotted coming out of the hatch.
01:15:12How many times do I have to tell you, Elliot, to keep that hatch closed during the day?
01:15:17And once and for all, volcanoes do not have arseholes!
01:15:26Kim, Kim, Kim, I'm so glad that you called me.
01:15:28Brandon, I think I'm being chased by minors!
01:15:31You mean underaged kids?
01:15:32Not children, you know.
01:15:33That's what?
01:15:34Dick, awesome!
01:15:37Kim, could you hear me?
01:15:39Oh, shit.
01:15:41Hey, it's Kim. I'm probably milking cows right now, so leave a message.
01:15:44Kim, I'm coming. I just, I don't know where you are.
01:15:50More stupid bloody coordinates to cross off the list.
01:15:53Moro, I'll move on to G7.
01:15:56G7.
01:16:00G7 part one.
01:16:40Where are you, Kim?
01:16:45So that's north.
01:16:56Oh, oh, oh, oh, that's disgusting.
01:16:59Oh, that tastes like socks and carpet.
01:17:04Which idiot put oat milk in the fridge?
01:17:14Harry, listen.
01:17:15I don't know if I'm going to need a policewoman or a lawyer.
01:17:19What?
01:17:21No, I'm not planning a stag party.
01:17:23Get over here.
01:17:24I'm in the woods behind these place.
01:17:42I'm starting penetration of the reserve within five minutes, sir.
01:17:46Excellent, Iris.
01:17:49Soon, our beloved New Zealand will have enough gas to power her flat screens deep into the night.
01:17:58Let's fuck this joint!
01:18:01Sorry about this, miss.
01:18:03But it's a good day.
01:18:04I don't know if I'm going to disappear in the kitchen.
01:18:05Oh, wow.
01:18:09That might have been a bit much.
01:18:11Brendan!
01:18:12Ken, I thought I was going to have to kiss these nuts goodbye.
01:18:16These nuts ain't going anywhere, my friend.
01:18:19My guy, you're Mitch.
01:18:21Are you from the CIA?
01:18:22No, I'm Brendan Brandon, your know-nothing nephew.
01:18:25I follow the clues you left.
01:18:27Well, did Dad follow them so slowly?
01:18:29I'll be coming out of my mind down here.
01:18:31And my back's killing me.
01:18:33Brendan, you need to get the keys.
01:18:35Sure, sure.
01:18:35Wait, what?
01:18:36Oh, my God.
01:18:37You're Strawberry John.
01:18:38How was New Zealand?
01:18:39Did you go inside that giant inflatable ball where they push you downhill,
01:18:42and then you got to kind of steer while you're in it?
01:18:45I'm dying to do that thing.
01:18:46Oh, I think you might have me confused with someone else.
01:18:49I'm avocado, John.
01:18:50No, you're not.
01:18:51You know you're not allowed to pick your own nickname, Strawberry.
01:18:54That's true, actually.
01:18:55Brendan, the keys!
01:18:57Yeah, okay, right.
01:18:59Kimmy, by the way, I'm sorry about what I said.
01:19:01I don't want to go.
01:19:02Maybe I can drive Esme's taxi on her free night.
01:19:04We can talk about it later, okay?
01:19:05You've got to stop Zoran.
01:19:06He's about to dump a load of chemicals into the aquifer.
01:19:09If he does, all these farms are going to be ruined.
01:19:11Got it!
01:19:12Mitch!
01:19:13Yes.
01:19:15Okay, go.
01:19:15We're going to be fine.
01:19:16Go.
01:19:16Go get Zoran.
01:19:17Go!
01:19:18No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:19:19Now!
01:19:20Not now.
01:19:21Don't now.
01:19:23Ow!
01:19:23Clouded house!
01:19:25Oh, come on, Satan.
01:19:28We're so close, I can almost smell the gas.
01:19:32Zoran!
01:19:33You cheese-eating bastard!
01:19:35Stop whatever crazy shit you're doing right now!
01:19:38And you're too late.
01:19:39You take one step closer, and I will push this button.
01:19:42Not yet, sir.
01:19:43Twenty seconds to go.
01:19:46You couldn't keep that to yourself?
01:19:48You couldn't keep that to yourself?
01:19:56Come on, Mitch.
01:19:57Come on, Mitch.
01:20:01No, no, no, no, no.
01:20:06No, no.
01:20:07Yes! No!
01:20:09Geez!
01:20:11Ow! Dick!
01:20:13What are we doing?
01:20:15You two sort yourselves out?
01:20:21Iris! Iris!
01:20:23Come on! That's the longest ten seconds ever!
01:20:26Sorry!
01:20:27Just a little firmware update.
01:20:34Get the rematch!
01:20:38Ah!
01:20:44Ow!
01:20:45Ow!
01:20:49No! Not a blackout!
01:20:51Ah!
01:20:52Ah!
01:20:56Ah!
01:21:07Ah!
01:21:11Ah!
01:21:14Ah!
01:21:16Ah!
01:21:24Ah!
01:21:30Ah!
01:21:35God!
01:21:36Looking for these, milk bread?
01:21:40Oh, you son of a hippie!
01:21:52Sweet ass.
01:21:53I did make my quota.
01:21:55Use thieving, low-flying duck tass!
01:21:58No!
01:21:59Suck my nutsack, Zora!
01:22:02Brazen, come on! We gotta go!
01:22:10Your cowardice Iris brings a shadow of shame upon the long white cloud.
01:22:15Let's go home, cuz.
01:22:19Our duel is not yet finished!
01:22:22Come back down and face me!
01:22:29Sir! Come with us! Please!
01:22:32You and I can start again, in a less hostile country!
01:22:35Really? We have one small setback and you're gonna walk out the door!
01:22:40God!
01:22:41If you leave Iris, we will never steal together again!
01:22:45Zora!
01:22:47Hey, even though no one likes you up here, you should probably get out of there!
01:22:51Right on, face some...
01:22:53Kangaroo court!
01:22:55No!
01:22:56Thank you!
01:22:57Wow!
01:22:58I like it!
01:23:00Iris!
01:23:02You make me sick to my four stomachs!
01:23:07Oops!
01:23:14Brandon!
01:23:15What?
01:23:15Are you okay?
01:23:16I didn't fail.
01:23:17I didn't fail.
01:23:19What?
01:23:19Is Harry here?
01:23:20Harry!
01:23:21Sack!
01:23:22Check my sack!
01:23:23It must be at least 12 kilos!
01:23:25Mitch!
01:23:26Hey!
01:23:27You're alive!
01:23:29Oh, thank God!
01:23:31Oh, Harry, my darling!
01:23:32I thought I'd never see you again!
01:23:36So do you still think all my theories are crazy?
01:23:40I'm just happy that you're okay.
01:23:42Okay and desperately in need of a show.
01:23:50Oh, young love.
01:24:00I'm very proud of you, Brandon.
01:24:02Thanks for bringing him home.
01:24:04Well, you're welcome, Harry.
01:24:05Aside from saving me from being a mole person, Harry tells me you've shown some real grit,
01:24:10Brendan.
01:24:11Family farm is yours, if you still want it.
01:24:15I'd like that a lot.
01:24:16I mean, it's hard work, but weirdly, I think I really like being a farmer.
01:24:25But you're still alive, Mitch.
01:24:26I mean, what are you gonna do?
01:24:27I realize down there what's important, and I've no time to waste.
01:24:31Harry and I are going traveling, and if we still like each other after that,
01:24:35maybe we'll get married.
01:24:37Maybe I'm not too old to make that mistake again.
01:24:40But I will need a better proposal than that.
01:24:43By the way, Uncle Mitch, for what it's worth, I promise to make ongoing attempts to not let you down
01:24:47completely.
01:24:49Might have to come by and teach you a thing or two about farming before we leave, though.
01:24:54Yeah, that didn't go too well.
01:24:57Say, Uncle Mitch, what's with that freaky chicken of yours?
01:25:00That's where I hide my crypto wallet.
01:25:02I've been following your blog for years, and I have a very nice nest egg to show for it.
01:25:06Lucky I went missing before you started pushing Digido.
01:25:10Son of a gun.
01:25:20So, does that mean that you might be sticking around a bit longer?
01:25:24It does look that way, ma'am.
01:25:29Next, we'll have to sort out your visa.
01:25:31A lot easier if you two were married.
01:25:36Tell me all the things you would change.
01:25:40I don't pretend to know what you want.
01:25:43When you come around and spend my talk time and again, time and again.
01:25:52No fire where I lit my spark.
01:25:57I am not afraid of the dark.
01:26:01Where your words devour my heart and put me to shame, put me to shame.
01:26:08And your seven worlds collide, whenever I am by your side.
01:26:17And just from a distant sun, we'll shower over everyone.
01:26:32You're still so young to travel so far.
01:26:36Old enough to know who you are.
01:26:40Wise enough to carry the scars.
01:26:43Without any blame, there's no one to blame.
01:26:47It's easy to forget what you learned, waiting for the thrill to return.
01:26:56Feeling your desire burn and drawn to the plane.
01:27:03And your seven worlds collide, whenever I am by your side.
01:27:10Just from a distant sun.
01:27:15We'll shower over everyone.
01:27:19Just from a distant sun.
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