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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I
00:02:00Good morning, crew.
00:02:02It's a bright new day aboard the good ship Vertigo.
00:02:05The time is 8.30 in the a.m.
00:02:08The weather outside is a brisk 200 degrees below zero.
00:02:12Hello, all you space guys and gals.
00:02:14This is your Maximum Max computer.
00:02:16And here to start your day off is a little something from the past,
00:02:20an intergalactic golden oldie from the 1980s.
00:02:24Hey, remember this one?
00:02:33Look at this.
00:02:35Great, huh?
00:02:35You mind trying to steer?
00:02:38Steer?
00:02:39This is a multi-billion dollar spacecraft, coach, not a car.
00:02:43Hey, come on.
00:02:44Rodzinski, you are sick.
00:02:46And when we get back to Earth, I'm going to recommend a lobotomy.
00:02:49Listen, sir, you're not so perfect yourself.
00:02:53People who live in glass houses, know what I'm saying?
00:02:55And don't think we all haven't noticed you doing everything humanly possible
00:03:00to look down the front of Officer McHugh's blouse every time you get the chance.
00:03:07Shut your trap.
00:03:09Yes!
00:03:10Sure!
00:03:21How are we today?
00:03:23How are we doing?
00:03:25Hello, little puppy.
00:03:27Hello, little kitty.
00:03:28What is last?
00:03:32Will John the trainee report to Level 3, Section K, Corridor 9,
00:03:38for an ultra-antiseptic sanitizing operation?
00:03:49Oh, my God.
00:03:54I'm so happy.
00:03:55Oh, my God.
00:04:01Oh, my God.
00:04:03Oh, my God.
00:04:04Oh, my God.
00:04:07Oh, my God.
00:04:18Good morning, Dr. Stark.
00:04:20Check out the observation window for a heavy revelation.
00:04:24This looks like a red-letter day for you, Doc.
00:04:26It's an unknown and undiscovered planet.
00:04:29And it looks like you discovered it, Doc.
00:04:32An unknown and undiscovered planet.
00:04:37And I discovered it.
00:04:40It was the dream of a lifetime. It's unbelievable.
00:04:43We must set up an expedition immediately.
00:04:48When the history books are written,
00:04:51this will be known as the Stark Planet.
00:05:00Based on Dr. Stark's rather unusual information,
00:05:03we are going to land on that new planet
00:05:04and we're going to take pictures and collect samples
00:05:06and bring them back to Earth.
00:05:08I hope you realize the importance of this discovery.
00:05:12We are on the threshold of something new and unknown.
00:05:18Gosh, I could shed a brick.
00:05:21Hey, come on in, guys.
00:05:23Let me lay some tones on you.
00:05:25Max, can you pinpoint this thing precisely for us?
00:05:28Okay, watch the monitor.
00:05:32This planet had an alien civilization
00:05:34which was jumping with some heavy-duty creatures.
00:05:37Some bad vibes in the atmosphere
00:05:39caused an evolutionary change in these creatures
00:05:42and produced some mean dudes
00:05:45like Attila the alien who ate an entire city.
00:05:50Pretty soon, everybody was into heavy violence,
00:05:53getting down and dirty.
00:05:58After an all-out lack of communication,
00:06:02the entire civilization was wasted.
00:06:08But check it out for yourselves.
00:06:11Maybe Rudzinski can find some old alien porn lying around.
00:06:16Okay, I'll be talking to you later, Buster.
00:06:18You got me?
00:06:19Amphrey?
00:06:19Max, please.
00:06:20This is of the utmost importance.
00:06:22Hey, that's it.
00:06:24Just suit up, board the shuttle, and check it out.
00:06:3210, 9, 8, 7, 8, 6, 9, 7, 10.
00:06:41It's very funny.
00:06:44Now I'll have to do it all over again.
00:06:4510, 9, 8, 7, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
00:06:58Ike.
00:07:03Prepare to land.
00:07:06Uh, Buster's off.
00:07:08Backup system stable.
00:07:11Landing gear in position.
00:07:13He's making it up.
00:07:15He doesn't know what the hell he's going to do.
00:07:17Shut your traps.
00:07:27We're down.
00:07:28I've run a check on the atmospheric conditions.
00:07:31The oxygen seems to be compatible with our own.
00:07:33That's my scientific way of saying we won't die without our hats on.
00:07:37I got my hat on.
00:07:38Helmets.
00:07:39Right.
00:07:40My God.
00:07:41I feel like Christopher Columbus in search of a new world.
00:07:44Me too.
00:07:45Max, open the shuttle door.
00:07:47You got it.
00:07:57You crazy?
00:07:59Shhh.
00:08:07Look.
00:08:09There.
00:08:31What is it?
00:08:35It appears to be a plant.
00:08:37Ash, I guess that college education comes in pretty handy, huh, Doc?
00:08:45What?
00:08:47Plant.
00:08:48You sure to get some of that kitty litter in there, Doc?
00:08:52What?
00:08:54Kitty litter.
00:08:55With the shrub.
00:09:01You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say this was some kind of weird city.
00:09:07It's impossible.
00:09:08Yeah, I know.
00:09:09But, uh...
00:09:10Ah.
00:09:11Outside of that plant we discovered, there doesn't seem to be any sign of life anywhere.
00:09:17Hey!
00:09:17No!
00:09:18Sign of life, baby.
00:09:19What's the matter?
00:09:21Did I scare you?
00:09:23Calm yourself.
00:09:24Calm yourself.
00:09:26Don't let the little scum sucker get to you.
00:09:33Look.
00:09:34I found some jelly.
00:09:37Jelly?
00:09:43Let me see that.
00:09:51Oh, my God.
00:09:53It appears to be some kind of living organism.
00:09:58Give it to me.
00:10:03It doesn't seem to want to come off my finger.
00:10:07It lights me.
00:10:09Pull it off.
00:10:10Pull it off?
00:10:13It just doesn't...
00:10:15I can't...
00:10:15It's stuck.
00:10:17I want it.
00:10:18I want you to have it, but it won't come off my finger.
00:10:22Oh, look it.
00:10:24Seems to like me.
00:10:26I need this organism.
00:10:30It just doesn't...
00:10:31seem to want to go to you.
00:10:33See if you can get it into the sample case.
00:10:35Hey, hey, now, wait a minute, Doc.
00:10:37Don't be doing that.
00:10:38We don't want this piece of snot on board our spaceship.
00:10:41Get loose.
00:10:42We have it.
00:10:42You know what I'm saying?
00:10:47Go, boy.
00:10:47Go.
00:10:48Oh!
00:10:50Sorry.
00:10:55A living, breathing organism.
00:10:57And I discovered it.
00:10:59They'll have to call it the Stark Organism.
00:11:02Just a moment, Doctor.
00:11:04Um, it was John who did discover the organism.
00:11:07I think we should give credit where credit is due.
00:11:11Credit?
00:11:12Credit?
00:11:12What are they going to call it?
00:11:13The John Organism?
00:11:17It's mine.
00:11:42It's mine.
00:11:53Of course.
00:11:53What are they going to call it?
00:12:02It's mine.
00:12:02It's mine.
00:12:02It's mine.
00:12:02It's mine.
00:12:03It's mine.
00:12:04It's mine.
00:12:05It's mine.
00:12:07It's mine.
00:12:11It's mine.
00:12:14Well, I've talked to Command Central, and they've requested that we return to it.
00:12:18Excellent.
00:12:20The sooner to start studying my discoveries.
00:12:23Max, what course are we on?
00:12:24It's a far-out course, Captain.
00:12:26Deep into the cosmos and headed for infinity.
00:12:29Hey, I like that.
00:12:32Why on earth did they ever make these abusive, emotionally unstable computers?
00:12:36Okay, just trying to keep things light.
00:12:39Hey, I hate to break this up, but it's dinner time.
00:12:43It's 7.30 in the p.m., and this should put you in...
00:14:57Science is my pie.
00:14:59Curiosity is my sweet tooth.
00:15:01Knowledge is my candy.
00:15:15You know, I think the dock has entered the land of the loon.
00:15:19No, no, it's pressure, that's all.
00:15:22It gets to all of us sooner or later.
00:15:24Yes.
00:15:27Pressure.
00:15:29The demon of space.
00:15:38Ah, Captain Jameson.
00:15:42May I speak with you a moment, sir?
00:15:44Of course, of course.
00:15:45Just let me avoid these meteors here first.
00:15:56Oh, close call.
00:15:58Just part of the everyday dangerous space travel.
00:16:02Well, what can I do for you?
00:16:04Oh, I was just checking to make sure you're going to be in the talent show.
00:16:08Oh, of course.
00:16:10Oh, excuse me.
00:16:21Right back on course.
00:16:23Never a moment's rest.
00:16:25Oh, by the way, have you seen Rodzinski?
00:16:27I need to know if he's going to be in the show.
00:16:29Oh, please.
00:16:31Not Rodzinski.
00:16:33It's bad enough having him in the audience.
00:16:34But I'm short on talent, sir.
00:16:37You are in charge of morale.
00:16:39Now, you know what happened to the crew the last time he did his act.
00:16:42That's true.
00:16:44Well, it serves him right anyway for never letting anybody know where he is.
00:16:48Well, until tonight, sir.
00:16:50I'll be there with a flourish.
00:17:01Folks, quiet.
00:17:04It's time to start.
00:17:05Folks, quiet.
00:17:08Three people in the audience.
00:17:10Tonight is talent night.
00:17:13And how about a nice big hand for our first performer?
00:17:21Which is me.
00:17:24Well, I will now entertain you with a dramatic reading from the ship's log.
00:17:41Tuesday.
00:17:43December 4th.
00:17:472012.
00:17:51Performed our morning duties.
00:17:54Had breakfast.
00:17:58Synthetic flapjacks.
00:18:01And sank her.
00:18:03Is he kidding with us?
00:18:05Hey, who gives her shit?
00:18:08Shut your trap.
00:18:09The afternoon passed slow.
00:18:21The night passed quickly.
00:18:23Sleep came to the vertigo at 11.30.
00:18:37The end.
00:18:46Now, next on the program will be John with a lively discussion on synthetic cooking.
00:18:52Cooking with John.
00:19:08Welcome to cooking with John.
00:19:11I'm John.
00:19:13No shit, Sherlock.
00:19:14Tonight, we'll be learning how to prepare synthetic turkey with stuffing.
00:19:20First, mix your turkey synthetics in a bowl until it becomes a mealy paste.
00:19:35Get out your synthetic turkey bone structure.
00:19:42And cover the structure with a mealy paste.
00:19:51Mmm, looks yummy already.
00:19:55Prepare your synthetic stuffing.
00:20:18Insert your hand into the anal area of your turkey structure and enter the stuffing.
00:20:28Place your synthetic turkey and stuffing into the microwave oven and let it cook for five seconds.
00:20:38Ah.
00:20:40There you have it.
00:20:41Synthetic turkey with stuffing.
00:20:43All through the wonder of modern cooking.
00:20:46There'll be samples for everyone after the show.
00:20:48So, thank you for watching Cooking with John.
00:20:55Get away from me with that stuff.
00:20:57Oh, it's very good, you know.
00:20:58Well, now.
00:21:00The moment that we've all been waiting for.
00:21:04Officer Annie McHugh will now perform a song for us.
00:21:08Yeah!
00:21:09Woo!
00:21:10That's great!
00:21:11Yeah!
00:21:12Woo!
00:21:13Woo!
00:21:14Woo!
00:21:14Woo!
00:21:22I need your love in all that you've got.
00:21:28I love your bark and your bite.
00:21:35You and me, baby, we'd be so hot.
00:21:41Hold me, touch me, thrill me tonight.
00:21:45Woo!
00:21:46Woo!
00:21:50Oh, my body aches for the touch of your lips.
00:21:58You've got the kiss that's so right.
00:22:04So now I've told you just what I want.
00:22:11I've brought it in all the night.
00:22:17So don't you hold back.
00:22:20Don't tease, don't taunt.
00:22:23Hold me, touch me, thrill me.
00:22:27Hold me, touch me, thrill me.
00:22:30Hold me, touch me, thrill me.
00:22:33I will closer to you, tonight.
00:22:46Oh!
00:22:48Oh!
00:22:50Oh!
00:22:52Oh!
00:23:10Ah, three.
00:23:11One, two, three.
00:23:13Oh, Jupiter.
00:23:14I buy it.
00:23:18Three, four.
00:23:20Dr. Starr, please check the jelly.
00:23:23I think it's growing.
00:23:25Give me the dice.
00:23:26Well, I'll tell you.
00:23:28It might rain.
00:23:29I don't know.
00:23:30It might be sunny, maybe cloudy.
00:23:33I'll tell you, spring a coat.
00:23:35Couldn't hurt.
00:23:37Thank you, Grace, for another in-depth weather report.
00:23:40You don't have to get testy about it.
00:23:42You know so much about the weather you predict.
00:23:44Now, girls, I don't think Margie was being testy.
00:23:47Yes, she was.
00:23:47And Margie was being testy.
00:23:49Yes, there you go.
00:23:50Grace, Margie, you will never guess what happened today.
00:23:53In Virginia, doctors reported the first successful body transplant.
00:23:59The body transplant was performed on Mr. Harvey Furman of Virginia.
00:24:03Mr. Furman declared,
00:24:05I feel like a new man.
00:24:08There are many wonderful advantages to my new body.
00:24:11Everything has been transplanted and rearranged for greater strength and mobility.
00:24:16The only problem is I have to take a leak, and I don't know where my pee-pee is.
00:24:22Bless his heart.
00:24:24Oh, dear me.
00:24:25Now, he didn't really say that on my mother's grave.
00:24:32Oh, is your mother dead?
00:24:34Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:24:37That's okay.
00:24:38And you know what?
00:24:39Have I got a treat for you two today.
00:24:43Walter Chamberlain here in Philadelphia,
00:24:45where a guerrilla force from Mars launched an invasion last night.
00:25:05This morning, a giant guerrilla attacked downtown Philly.
00:25:10Earlier today, guerrilla leader Bonzo Khan announced at a press conference,
00:25:15We will continue our war against Philadelphia
00:25:18until we have established an independent Martian state.
00:25:22And later on in our Caffey Clatch phone-in segment,
00:25:26we'll see how you feel when we discuss murder.
00:25:29It kills me.
00:25:34Very cute.
00:25:58Good morning.
00:26:00It's another day in space.
00:26:02It's pretty much the same as yesterday.
00:26:05Probably be the same tomorrow.
00:26:06Let's kick things off with this rocket number.
00:26:11Hello, little telepathy's organism
00:26:14that we found on the weird vibrating plenies.
00:26:16How are you today?
00:26:18Hello.
00:26:19Good morning.
00:26:26Rise and shine, Rodzinski.
00:26:34Oh, Officer McCue.
00:26:36Oh, John, hi.
00:26:38Hi.
00:26:38Hi.
00:26:38Good morning.
00:26:39Good morning.
00:26:40I just wondered if you'd like to sample my latest entree.
00:26:44Oh, what is it?
00:26:46Synthetic chicken cordon bleu.
00:26:48Well, you know, I just had a big snack in my office,
00:26:50just sort of like nutrition.
00:26:51Oh, but I really need you to sample it
00:26:53because, you know, nobody else likes to sample things,
00:26:56and you're just...
00:26:57I trust your opinion so much.
00:26:59Oh, John, I...
00:27:00Could you do that for me, please?
00:27:01Okay?
00:27:02Please.
00:27:13Would you like some pink liquid?
00:27:15Mm.
00:27:18Mm.
00:27:19Another bite?
00:27:20Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:27:29So you liked it then?
00:27:32Oh, good.
00:27:33Because we're having this for dinner tonight.
00:27:38Officer McHugh.
00:27:40Dr. Stark.
00:27:45I must speak with you.
00:27:47Yes?
00:27:48I don't want to appear in any way, uh, ominous.
00:27:57You remember our expedition to that, uh, unknown, uncharted,
00:28:01and slightly weird planet?
00:28:03Of course I do, Doctor.
00:28:05A momentous occasion.
00:28:06You remember that small gelatinous substance
00:28:08which we took with us,
00:28:10and which is now locked in the sample vault?
00:28:13Dr. Stark,
00:28:14I sense something is troubling you.
00:28:17Troubling is not the exact word I would use.
00:28:21Amazed.
00:28:22Incredulous.
00:28:24Mind-boggled.
00:28:26Any of those words would be appropriate.
00:28:29I'm telling you this
00:28:32because the others may react stupidly.
00:28:37The organism seems to be...
00:28:41growing.
00:28:43Growing.
00:28:43Growing.
00:28:48You mean...
00:28:49Precisely.
00:28:51I've checked it twice.
00:28:53And each time there's been substantial growth.
00:28:56My God.
00:28:57Precisely.
00:28:59Our examinations were two weeks apart.
00:29:02And as another two weeks have elapsed,
00:29:05it's time to check the organism again.
00:29:09Frankly,
00:29:11I'd like you there as a witness.
00:29:19I think that perhaps if we got the others,
00:29:21it might be good
00:29:22because I'm not too sure
00:29:23that I'm very good at this,
00:29:25you know, all by myself.
00:29:26Um,
00:29:27or that,
00:29:29uh...
00:29:39Doctor.
00:29:40Holy shit.
00:29:44So,
00:29:45that's it.
00:29:47I must be perfectly honest with you
00:29:49and tell you that it took a great deal
00:29:50of persuasion on my part
00:29:52to get Dr. Stark
00:29:52to allow me to tell you all this.
00:29:54He was afraid that you might behave
00:29:56rashly
00:29:57or stupidly.
00:29:59So what began as a
00:30:01small,
00:30:02gelatinous organism
00:30:04has now turned into a
00:30:06larger,
00:30:07living,
00:30:08breathing,
00:30:09not to mention
00:30:10screaming,
00:30:11organism.
00:30:12Now,
00:30:13very calmly,
00:30:15what do we do?
00:30:17Zap it.
00:30:18Kill the little loogie.
00:30:19Hold me back.
00:30:21You crazy?
00:30:23Do you realize what this means
00:30:25for science and mankind?
00:30:27Gee, Doc,
00:30:28I'm sorry.
00:30:29I can't speak for science,
00:30:30but I can definitely speak for mankind,
00:30:33and I say kill the mother.
00:30:34Now that we've heard
00:30:35the humanist argument,
00:30:38I will tell you my decision
00:30:39as captain.
00:30:40We will keep that thing
00:30:41locked securely
00:30:42in a sample vault
00:30:43until we get back to Earth.
00:30:45And when I'm about
00:30:46100 miles away from it,
00:30:48they can open up
00:30:49that sample vault
00:30:50and do with it
00:30:51what they wish.
00:30:52Very noble.
00:30:53There's only one thing,
00:30:54and I just throw this out
00:30:56as an unbiased third party.
00:30:59Whatever's in that vault
00:31:00did not sound too happy
00:31:02about being in there.
00:31:04Well,
00:31:06whatever it likes
00:31:07or doesn't like
00:31:07makes no difference
00:31:08because the door
00:31:09to that sample vault
00:31:10is strong enough
00:31:10to withstand any eventuality.
00:31:12Captain Jameson is right.
00:31:14So there's no need
00:31:15for any of us
00:31:15to behave rashly.
00:31:17Dr. Stark is right.
00:31:19We all have to remain calm
00:31:20as cucumbers.
00:31:22Officer McHugh is right.
00:31:24If the door
00:31:25to the sample vault
00:31:25is that strong,
00:31:26then we have nothing
00:31:27to worry about.
00:31:27John is right.
00:31:28No,
00:31:29I'm the one
00:31:29who said what John said.
00:31:30What's that?
00:31:31About the door
00:31:32being strong enough
00:31:33to withstand any eventuality.
00:31:34Yes, okay,
00:31:34you're right.
00:31:35Dr. Stark is right
00:31:35because he said,
00:31:37first of all,
00:31:38I mean,
00:31:38by putting it into
00:31:39the sample vault,
00:31:40if you're going to be...
00:31:49He's back
00:31:50in his boldest,
00:31:52most exciting adventure yet.
00:31:53The dirtiest cop of them all,
00:31:56Dirty Harry.
00:31:57You old fart.
00:32:01Now listen to me,
00:32:03punk.
00:32:04You're an asshole.
00:32:07He's mean,
00:32:09and he's out
00:32:10to clean up the city.
00:32:15Good time
00:32:16in the old time tonight.
00:32:21What is this,
00:32:22the joke?
00:32:23We're going to hurt you now,
00:32:24Grandpa.
00:32:28It's Dirty Harry,
00:32:30meaner than ever,
00:32:31in Dirty Harry Strikes Back.
00:32:34This picture is rated
00:32:35morally objectionable
00:32:36for everyone.
00:32:39give me some leeway.
00:32:43Huh?
00:32:43Nobody ever gives me
00:32:44any leeway!
00:32:45Shh!
00:32:46Ah, shut up.
00:32:50I'm frustrated.
00:32:51I'm uptight.
00:32:53I have these dreams
00:32:54at night
00:32:55in which I'm tortered
00:32:56by disembodied
00:32:57breasts and thighs.
00:33:02I need a woman,
00:33:04McHugh.
00:33:05Remember,
00:33:06a major part
00:33:07of our training
00:33:08was to remain
00:33:08asexual.
00:33:10I am asexual.
00:33:12A sexual fiend.
00:33:14You look so pretty
00:33:16sitting there
00:33:16in your sexy
00:33:17little space outfit.
00:33:19Come on,
00:33:20one little kiss.
00:33:21One little kiss.
00:33:22Rodzinski,
00:33:22you must keep
00:33:24telling yourself
00:33:24that I am not
00:33:26a woman.
00:33:27Sure.
00:33:28No, I'm not.
00:33:29I am a crew person.
00:33:31The same as you,
00:33:33Captain Jameson,
00:33:34Dr. Stark,
00:33:35and John.
00:33:36One big difference.
00:33:37I am not
00:33:37a piece of tail.
00:33:39Yes, you are.
00:33:39I am not
00:33:40a sexy whiz-bang.
00:33:42Yes, you are.
00:33:43Nor am I
00:33:44any of those
00:33:45other names
00:33:45you so love
00:33:46to call me
00:33:47behind my back.
00:33:48Oh, you heard
00:33:48about that.
00:33:49Mm-hmm.
00:33:49Yeah.
00:33:50Now, why don't
00:33:50you return
00:33:51to your quarters
00:33:51and shave?
00:33:55Quite a little
00:33:56morale booster,
00:33:57aren't we, McHugh?
00:33:58Well, I'm happy
00:33:59to be of service.
00:34:01Uh-huh.
00:34:01Yeah.
00:34:26Well, I'm happy
00:34:29to be of service.
00:34:31I'm happy
00:34:31to be of service.
00:34:34I'm happy
00:34:34to be of service.
00:34:34I'm happy
00:34:35to be of service.
00:34:36I'm happy
00:34:36to be of service.
00:34:37I'm happy
00:34:39to be of service.
00:35:13Oh, John, you gave me such a start.
00:35:29Max, may I please have a little Hawaiian music this afternoon?
00:35:34Not a chance.
00:35:36I said please, Max.
00:35:37You shrink the heads and I'll pick the platters.
00:35:40You know something? One of these days when you have a little time,
00:35:43you ought to come into my office and we'll check out that attitude problem of yours.
00:35:48Hey, I've got no problem. I'm just doing my thing.
00:36:03Hello?
00:36:04Hello?
00:36:05Hello?
00:36:42Hey, nice bod.
00:36:44What are you doing?
00:36:46Well, uh, don't get so tired, McHugh.
00:36:49What are you doing?
00:36:51Well, I just thought you might like a little company, you know.
00:36:53Company? Company?
00:36:56Yeah, you know, a little intimate company.
00:36:58Rodzinski, if I were being attacked by a pack of wild Saturnian bush pigs
00:37:05and you possess the only bush pig blaster in the universe,
00:37:09I would not want your company.
00:37:14Oh, okay, McHugh.
00:37:17That's how you feel about it.
00:37:21You're sure you don't...
00:37:23Ah!
00:37:25Oh, jeez.
00:37:26I love you.
00:37:28Don't ever change.
00:37:31Oh, my heart.
00:37:34My heart.
00:38:53Now, you see what you've done, Doc?
00:38:55You let something weird into our ship here.
00:38:58Now, we're all in danger.
00:38:59We don't know what it is.
00:39:01Only out of control.
00:39:02We're completely at the perverse real.
00:39:04We don't know.
00:39:06Shut up, you stupid cretin.
00:39:10I tell you, this is the greatest discovery mankind may ever make.
00:39:17Hold on there a minute, Doc.
00:39:19I give the orders around here.
00:39:23Now, I say...
00:39:28We go down there.
00:39:29This may be the greatest discovery mankind may ever make.
00:39:33A for originality, Krasinski!
00:39:35Don't push too far!
00:39:36We mustn't waste any time.
00:39:40Perhaps I'll take this.
00:39:44Captain Jameson, they just delivered your pizza.
00:39:47Pick it up.
00:40:06I heard a noise.
00:40:24See, it's just my hammer.
00:40:27Nothing.
00:40:28It's just my hammer.
00:40:28For God's sake, be careful.
00:40:31Give us all the willies.
00:40:32All right.
00:40:33All the willies.
00:40:42Gee.
00:40:43Come on, see him.
00:40:45The hammer again.
00:40:46Give me...
00:40:47Whoa.
00:41:00The door.
00:41:01It's nothing.
00:41:02The door.
00:41:03Put yourselves together.
00:41:05Let's not get the willies.
00:41:07Okay.
00:41:20Do you think...
00:41:21Stop it!
00:41:24What are we afraid of?
00:41:26Just because it's an unknown commodity
00:41:28doesn't mean to say
00:41:29we've got to behave
00:41:30like a lot of scared jackrabbits.
00:41:33Yeah, Doc.
00:41:34But it's that unknown part
00:41:35that gets to me.
00:41:37I mean, why doesn't the thing
00:41:38just come out in the open?
00:41:40What is it?
00:41:41Scared?
00:41:43I mean, why doesn't it come out
00:41:45and show its face?
00:41:48Is it a coward?
00:41:50Huh?
00:41:50You know what I think?
00:41:51I think it's shy.
00:41:53Huh?
00:41:54Oh, the williezy-bott people
00:41:56afraid to come out
00:41:57in the open.
00:41:59Huh?
00:41:59Ha, ha, ha.
00:42:01Huh?
00:42:02You know,
00:42:02maybe it's a chicken.
00:42:04Huh?
00:42:05Is it a chicken?
00:42:06Huh?
00:42:07Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk,
00:42:09bawk, bawk, bawk.
00:42:10Huh?
00:42:11Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.
00:42:14Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.
00:42:22I'm just kidding.
00:42:27What the hell are you standing there for?
00:42:30Get this slimy clob and gets off me!
00:42:32Don't move.
00:42:33Very good.
00:42:35Wonderful.
00:42:36Don't move.
00:42:38Get this thing off me.
00:42:40Get it off!
00:42:41Get it off!
00:42:42Now, now, calm yourself.
00:42:45Are you crazy?
00:42:46Look, look, look.
00:42:48Ah!
00:42:48Ah!
00:42:49Get it off!
00:43:07What was that?
00:43:08Oh, slimy and gooey and...
00:43:13Yeah, that about covers it.
00:43:15It certainly wasn't a pretty sight, was it?
00:43:18Boy, can you imagine what the rest of it must look like?
00:43:21Oh, no.
00:43:22I'd rather not.
00:43:23But just think, my God, what a discovery for mankind.
00:43:27Oh, will you shut up with that mankind, baloney?
00:43:32Well, I'm gonna go and see if it's still there.
00:43:35Good idea.
00:43:35What?
00:43:36No.
00:43:37No, you're supposed to say, don't go.
00:43:39Look, you're the big heroic captain, Coach.
00:43:42Go see if it's still there.
00:43:44It is not that I don't want to go, but I am the captain.
00:43:47You realize if something happens to me, he will be in charge.
00:43:50Wodzinski here.
00:43:51Don't go.
00:43:53Well, Selma.
00:43:55He's got to see if it's still there.
00:44:07Oh, well, I'd go, but someone has to stand here and have the willies.
00:44:14All right.
00:44:15I'm the captain.
00:44:18I will go.
00:44:19Good luck.
00:44:20Good luck.
00:44:21Good luck.
00:44:22Good luck.
00:44:23Good luck.
00:44:23Let's go.
00:44:49Coach.
00:45:00You won't, coach.
00:45:09No!
00:45:10I don't want to be seen.
00:45:10Why, are you crazy?
00:45:12What are you doing jumping out like that?
00:45:13Scared us half to death.
00:45:14Don't you know we're at our wit's end?
00:45:16We thought you were the creature.
00:45:19You got to admit, there is a certain result.
00:45:21I must watch it with this.
00:45:22I really must object to your use of the word creature.
00:45:28It's inflammatory and highly prejudiced.
00:45:32It's a living organism.
00:45:37Dr. Stark, if I may speak with you for a moment.
00:45:44Dr. Stark, it is now an escaped living organism.
00:45:49Doctor, what are we going to do?
00:45:53Whatever we do, we must keep our behavior rational and remain calm.
00:45:57Look, can we get out of here?
00:46:00Boy, was that thing something, huh?
00:46:02I mean, all that drool and slime.
00:46:06You know, slobber.
00:46:08He's a definitely unpleasant body odor, too.
00:46:11I mean, just dripping with goo.
00:46:13You are a mass of unrepentant chism.
00:46:16Shut up!
00:46:19So, what to do?
00:46:20Any suggestions, anybody?
00:46:22I suggest that we go and find this organism.
00:46:26Show it that we mean no harm.
00:46:28That we're friendly.
00:46:29This thing shrieks like a banshee and hides in dark corridors.
00:46:33Now, do you call that friendly?
00:46:35How do you reason with goo, Doc?
00:46:37How do you reason with a slimy non-entity?
00:46:39The same way that we reason with you, Rodzinski.
00:46:48I'll admit that Dr. Stark may have a point.
00:46:51I mean, maybe this thing is just as scared of us as we are of it.
00:46:56But now the question is, who goes?
00:47:04I suppose, to be perfectly fair, we ought to draw lots.
00:47:09Now, what Officer McHugh is doing is cutting up pieces of paper.
00:47:13They'll all be the same length except one.
00:47:16And that one will be shorter.
00:47:18Shorter.
00:47:21All right.
00:47:22Let's have a go at this.
00:47:25Well, it's all in the hands of fate now.
00:47:34Ah.
00:47:36Ah.
00:47:37Ah.
00:47:51John, boy.
00:47:52I don't.
00:47:53Fate is fate.
00:47:55Fair is fair.
00:47:56Captain, I'll handle this.
00:47:59I'll handle it.
00:48:01John.
00:48:01I'd rather have one of those.
00:48:03John.
00:48:03I want you to go out there and know that everything is going to be all right.
00:48:10You could end up a hero.
00:48:13Well, I guess I have to face up to my responsibilities.
00:48:19Right?
00:48:21That's the spirit.
00:48:23I guess I have to find the courage and do what has to be done.
00:48:28Right?
00:48:28Yes.
00:48:29Too bad.
00:48:31Well, then I guess I'm the chosen one.
00:48:36Fate has given me the short paper and I have to accept the challenge.
00:48:40Remember David and Goliath, Moses and the Pharaoh, Sodom and Gomorrah.
00:48:46I can do it.
00:49:00Hi, gang.
00:49:01Got a little problem with the big bad blob?
00:49:04Max, can you pinpoint precisely where this thing is for us?
00:49:07Not a chance.
00:49:08Max, don't be a snip now.
00:49:10Are there foreign bodies on this craft?
00:49:11Let's see.
00:49:14There he is.
00:49:15Ugly, isn't he?
00:49:16Three, quarter, nine.
00:49:18Oh!
00:49:23John, boy.
00:49:25John, good luck.
00:49:26Level three, quarter, nine, section BB.
00:49:29This is it.
00:49:31But it ate the camera.
00:49:33Be nice to it, John.
00:49:34Lure it out.
00:49:35We'll shoot it with a tranquilizer gun.
00:49:37That's it.
00:49:38I'll get the tranquilizer gun.
00:49:39John, lure it out.
00:49:41Lure it out?
00:49:41Lure it out!
00:49:43Lure it out!
00:49:43Lure it!
00:49:44Lure it!
00:49:44Good lord!
00:49:45Look at what?
00:49:46Go on!
00:49:47Go on!
00:49:47Let's go!
00:49:48Courage!
00:49:52John, we'll be right here all the time.
00:49:55Lure him out into the open and then get out of the way.
00:49:58Move it out.
00:49:59Yes, lure him out, John.
00:50:01Come on, John.
00:50:02We'll be right behind you.
00:50:04Lure him out, buddy.
00:50:05Good lord.
00:50:13Hello.
00:50:16Anybody here?
00:50:20You?
00:50:21I just want you to know that I am a very friendly person.
00:50:28I mean no harm.
00:50:31I mean no harm.
00:50:32Do you mean no harm?
00:50:36Harm is bad.
00:50:38No harm is good.
00:50:41Do you understand English?
00:50:44Am I in big trouble?
00:51:01I mean no harm.
00:51:05Do you mean harm?
00:51:13Get out of the way, Gargoy!
00:51:15Doc, John, Doc!
00:51:17Get out! Stupid, what are you doing?
00:51:18Doc, John!
00:51:22Who are you shooting?
00:51:23Coach!
00:51:30All right, I got him. Now this stuff won't last long.
00:51:34Let's get him locked up in the observation room.
00:51:36Let's get him locked up in the observation room.
00:51:38I ain't touching that big booger.
00:51:51It's amazing. Absolutely amazing.
00:51:55It's ugly. Absolutely ugly.
00:51:59To think that he could have enlarged himself so quickly.
00:52:02You know it's absolutely amazing.
00:52:07You know, I think we all owe John a word of thanks for the courage that he's shown.
00:52:13John?
00:52:16John, boy.
00:52:18Come on, now. Let's not canonize the guy just because he got a smaller paper, huh?
00:52:26What's the matter?
00:52:27What's the matter? Not getting enough attention?
00:52:33Almost as if he were trying to talk to us.
00:52:36You know, it almost sounds musical.
00:52:39Yeah? Well, if that's music, I'm a horse's ass.
00:52:42Then it must be music.
00:52:44Maybe it's singing a song in Creature.
00:52:47Singing a song in Creature?
00:52:49That's good, Sonny. Real good.
00:52:51We're talking about goo here.
00:52:53Goo doesn't make musical noises.
00:52:55We're talking about the unknown.
00:52:58Anything is possible.
00:52:59Dr. Stark, I have an idea.
00:53:04What is it?
00:53:07Why don't we wire this thing into Max?
00:53:11That way he'd be able to translate whatever it's trying to tell us in our own language.
00:53:16Not so?
00:53:17Of course. Brilliant.
00:53:20That way we'd know once and for all if this thing is friendly or not.
00:53:24Precisely.
00:53:26The first time in history we'd be able to hear what a being from another planet is trying to communicate.
00:53:31My God!
00:53:33Dr. Stark, what do you think it's trying to say to us?
00:53:38We shall see. We shall see.
00:53:57I'm heady with anticipation.
00:53:59I think we all are, Dr. Stark.
00:54:02I'm a quiver with excitement.
00:54:04All right, attention everyone.
00:54:06For the first time in history we may hear what a being from another world is trying to communicate to
00:54:13us.
00:54:13My God.
00:54:17Switch on the translating circuits.
00:54:37I want to eat your face.
00:54:43Your smile.
00:54:44It could just be so yummy.
00:54:50I'd like to have your face in my tummy.
00:55:02I want to eat your smile.
00:55:10Your smile.
00:55:12Your smile is so beguiling.
00:55:17Your smile is so beguiling.
00:55:18If I could eat your smile.
00:55:23If I could eat your smile.
00:55:24I'd be smiling.
00:55:29Hey.
00:55:31I want to eat your arm.
00:55:39I want to eat your arm.
00:55:43I want to eat your arm.
00:55:44I want to eat your arm.
00:55:44I want to eat your arm.
00:55:45I want to eat your arm.
00:55:45So, won't you please be nice people.
00:55:50Your love.
00:55:52Don't you please please me.
00:55:53I want to eat your arm.
00:55:56Oh, baby.
00:56:03I want to eat your arm.
00:56:06I want to eat your arm.
00:56:10Oh, baby.
00:56:12I want to eat your arm.
00:56:18Oh, baby.
00:56:19Let me eat those meals. Don't you tease me. I want to eat your face. I got to eat your
00:56:38face. So let me eat that one.
00:56:43Tomorrow's a beautiful, fabulous face. I want to eat your face. I want to eat your face.
00:57:43I want to eat your face.
00:57:43I want to eat your face.
00:58:15Now my life has meaning. To have discovered an organism that can do that. Do you understand the ramifications of
00:58:26what we just seen?
00:58:27Um, Doctor, did you happen to catch the lyrics?
00:58:33Lyrics? What do I care about lyrics? This is an alien organism. You're expecting Rogers and Hart.
00:58:45What I meant was, did you happen to catch the meaning of the lyrics?
00:58:50What do I care for that sort of thing? This is a major scientific discovery. This could change the face
00:58:57of history.
00:58:58You don't understand, Doctor. This thing wants to eat the face of history.
00:59:05It is friendly. This is not an antagonistic organism.
00:59:12Look at it.
00:59:15The human race is always so quick to be on the defensive.
00:59:21Whatever happened to the milk of human kindness?
00:59:23I think you're it, Doc.
00:59:25So you think it's antagonistic, do you?
00:59:30So you think it will hurt you?
00:59:33So you think that this is something other than just a harmless little ditty?
00:59:41Science must always prove itself to skeptics.
00:59:48Science must always spare.
00:59:49Doctor?
00:59:52Doctor?
00:59:52Doctor?
00:59:53Doctor Start let...
00:59:54Doctor, this thing wants to eat the face of history.
00:59:55Doctor!
01:00:00You stupid people.
01:00:03Always afraid of the unknown.
01:00:06Just because you don't know about something
01:00:09doesn't mean that it will bite you.
01:00:12You have to have faith. You have to have trust.
01:00:16Now, if you have faith and trust, then the unknown will have faith and trust.
01:00:22I tell you, this creature means no harm.
01:00:26Oh!
01:00:29It's playing. It's just having fun. It's joking.
01:00:40It's a game!
01:01:01It appears to have eaten Dr. Stark.
01:01:04Appears? That was unmitigated eating.
01:01:08Let's just hope that Dr. Stark is in a better world.
01:01:11He's in that thing's stomach is where he is.
01:01:14Hey, are we gonna take this?
01:01:17Let's get out of here. Figure out the next step.
01:01:20The sooner the better.
01:01:23Wait a minute.
01:01:29I think we ought to give him a proper burial.
01:01:36He was a courageous man, but in the end he let scientific curiosity rule instead of common sense.
01:01:48We salute you, Dr. Stark.
01:01:50You salute him. I don't want to salute him.
01:01:52He's the one who let that pig of a slime on board in the first place.
01:02:00There went a man.
01:02:01There went a box with a pair of glasses in it.
01:02:03Look, if we don't do something, we're all gonna end up in empty boxes.
01:02:06Wait a minute. Let me think.
01:02:14Well, we don't want to antagonize it any further.
01:02:17Well, what are we gonna do? Ask it to leave? We gotta kill it!
01:02:21We have to kill it, do we? And how do you propose that we do that?
01:02:25Burn the sucker! Shoot it in the eye! Stab it!
01:02:27I'll tell you how we can kill it, Wadzinski.
01:02:30We'll let it eat you. That will kill anything!
01:02:32Is that so?
01:02:33Yeah!
01:02:34Yeah, you know what I think?
01:02:35Yeah!
01:02:35I think your front porch light is burnt.
01:02:37Yeah!
01:02:38Let's stop this petty quarreling so we can figure this thing out.
01:02:41How about this?
01:02:42We know the tranquilizer gun worked on it once.
01:02:46So what if we shoot it again with the gun,
01:02:48and then dispose of the thing out in space?
01:02:51Oh, I like that.
01:02:51We can use the tranquilizer gun.
01:02:54And then dispose of it in space.
01:02:58Now let's get back to the observation lab
01:03:00and show this thing that it can't fool around with humanity.
01:03:10Everybody ready?
01:03:16Uh-oh.
01:03:17This could mean trouble.
01:03:21What now?
01:03:24Captain!
01:03:26And here's a little something
01:03:28dedicated to the memory of the late, great Dr. Stark.
01:03:33This calls for drastic action.
01:03:36We'll split up into two teams.
01:03:37The first team to find the creature,
01:03:39we'll radio the other team immediately.
01:03:41Now the teams I choose, Officer McHugh.
01:03:43Oh, no you don't.
01:03:44I want to be on McHugh's team.
01:03:46Over my dead body.
01:03:47Now, Rodzinski, I'm the captain.
01:03:49You and John are the other team.
01:03:51Over my dead body?
01:03:53Listen.
01:03:54The only logical solution to this is Captain Jameson and Rodzinski are a team.
01:03:58Over my dead body.
01:03:59If we keep arguing like this, it's going to be over all our dead bodies.
01:04:02All right.
01:04:03All right.
01:04:04Reluctantly, I say, Rodzinski and I are one team, Officer McHugh and John are the other team.
01:04:12I will split up and search every inch of the spaceship.
01:04:15Or is that too much for your minuscule brain to handle, Rodzinski?
01:04:19I think I get your drip.
01:04:21We're a team.
01:04:22We're a team.
01:04:23We're a team.
01:04:23I'll be on your team.
01:04:43John.
01:05:09Wait a minute.
01:05:11I thought I saw something.
01:05:12Like what?
01:05:14I'm not sure.
01:05:15Well, if you're not sure, why don't we leave?
01:05:19No, no, no.
01:05:20Come on, have courage.
01:05:21Stay close.
01:05:23There's strength in numbers.
01:05:24Oh.
01:05:27Eight.
01:05:30Four.
01:05:31No, John.
01:05:32Twelve.
01:05:33That's not what I meant.
01:05:34Six.
01:05:35Shh.
01:05:35All right, Sinski.
01:05:55Yeah.
01:05:55Give me the radio.
01:05:57Yeah.
01:05:59Why?
01:06:01If we find whatever it is, you detain it, and I'll radio the other team for help.
01:06:08Over my dead butt.
01:06:10What am I saying?
01:06:16Officer McHugh.
01:06:18Call me Annie.
01:06:20Officer Annie.
01:06:21Yes.
01:06:22If we get out of this alive, I'd really like to take you to the show.
01:06:31Okay.
01:06:33Really?
01:06:35Oh, great.
01:06:37So, what do you want to see?
01:07:01All right, Sinski.
01:07:03Yeah.
01:07:04I'm going to give you one last chance.
01:07:07Get around that corner and see if it's there.
01:07:11You're dreaming.
01:07:12I am the captain, and that is an order.
01:07:16Look, I don't care if you're a turd in winter.
01:07:19Sir.
01:07:20I'm not going around that corner.
01:07:22All right, Sinski.
01:07:23Hey.
01:07:24This is it.
01:07:24Hey.
01:07:25This is the showdown, and when we get back to it, you're under arrest, and I will see
01:07:31good that you are caught, Nigel.
01:07:33I will not take it.
01:07:35I'm out.
01:07:36Harry.iva!
01:07:36low. Maybe.
01:07:46I got
01:07:47it. Hey,
01:07:49Jay. Me,
01:07:49Jay. Level two.
01:07:50Five carot
01:07:51burn. Is that aک?
01:07:52Is that a projet?
01:07:52The babies got James in
01:07:53it. James is outdaf
01:07:54immediate considerate shit! Hurry! Turn it!
01:07:58Hit it!
01:07:58What? Hit
01:07:59it with the
01:08:00flashlight!
01:08:02It ain't the flashlight!
01:08:04Well, now, hit it with your hands!
01:08:06You're nuts! Pull me away!
01:08:08Get off of me and make me out of the way!
01:08:11Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh, goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!
01:08:46There must be some way to get this thing out in the open without being attacked immediately.
01:08:52I mean, there must be some way to lull its senses for just a few moments.
01:08:58Although I don't know what good that would do.
01:09:00It ate the tranquilizer gun.
01:09:02It eats everything. Doesn't it ever get full?
01:09:05Boy, all that singing and dancing must have really given it an appetite.
01:09:11That's it, John.
01:09:13What is it?
01:09:14Singing and dancing.
01:09:16We've seen it do two things, right?
01:09:19Eat, and in its own native primitive way, sing and dance.
01:09:23Now, if we approach it on its own terms,
01:09:26maybe we could arouse its curiosity for a few moments.
01:09:29And if we plan this exactly right, then that's all we'd need.
01:09:33What do you say? Is it worth a try?
01:09:43Okay, let's see.
01:09:44Beatles? No, I don't think so.
01:09:46No? What are we doing now?
01:09:47If this thing likes music, then it's going to get music.
01:09:50No. You dance, don't you?
01:09:52No, I don't dance.
01:09:53Oh, well, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Do you sing?
01:09:56Well, I sing not as well as I dance.
01:09:58Well, we'll rehearse it. It doesn't really matter.
01:10:00There's tangles. I don't want tangles.
01:10:02And none of this moves music from Mars. That won't do.
01:10:04Ah! Ah! Here it is. This is perfect. Perfect.
01:10:09Bachelor bills?
01:10:14Five, six, seven, two, bachelor bills.
01:10:19It would help if you stayed on the beat.
01:10:21Oh, there's a beat. How does it go?
01:10:26Max! We're going to need your complete cooperation.
01:10:30Max has the facts.
01:10:32Come on, Max. This is no time to be a little snot.
01:10:34Please, we need your help.
01:10:36You want the facts? Just ask Max.
01:10:39We're going to let the creature know exactly where we are.
01:10:42And that's going to be near airlock exit number four.
01:10:46When John gives you the signal, you start the music.
01:10:50Do you understand, Max?
01:10:51You got it.
01:11:04What?
01:11:05What if it's waiting around the corner?
01:11:07Well...
01:11:09Well, then I'd say it's tough beans for us,
01:11:11but we're not going to find out just standing here.
01:11:14Oh. Then let's stand here.
01:11:18John, come on. This is a chance we have to take.
01:11:22You're right. You're absolutely right.
01:11:24You...
01:11:26You stay here and I'll go and check.
01:11:30Oh, you don't have to do that.
01:11:32Oh, good.
01:11:37Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I can't let you go first.
01:11:41I mean, if it is there and it did eat you before it ate me,
01:11:44I'd... I'd... I'd never forgive myself.
01:11:48So I'll just go first and you wait here.
01:11:52Really?
01:11:53Yes.
01:11:55Okay.
01:11:56So I... I'm going now.
01:11:57All right.
01:11:58And...
01:11:59I'll just...
01:12:00see if anything's there.
01:12:02Be careful.
01:12:04I'll, um, be very careful.
01:12:05All right.
01:12:08Throw your shoulders back.
01:12:09I...
01:12:10I've got my morale up.
01:12:11Morale up. Good.
01:12:12I'm just gonna step around.
01:12:13Shh.
01:12:14Be quiet. Tippy-toe.
01:12:15See you.
01:12:16All right.
01:12:16Wait.
01:12:23It's safe.
01:12:26Where?
01:12:27What is it?
01:12:30No.
01:12:31No.
01:12:33No.
01:12:35No.
01:12:36No.
01:12:38No.
01:12:38No.
01:12:40No.
01:12:48Wait a minute.
01:12:49Wait a minute.
01:12:50What?
01:12:50What?
01:12:50What?
01:12:52I think we lost it.
01:12:53Oh.
01:12:54Oh, does that thing give me the creeps?
01:12:56Oh.
01:12:57All right.
01:12:58Just a couple more quarters and we'll be near the airlock exits.
01:13:00Come on.
01:13:01Come on, honey.
01:13:10All right.
01:13:11It's just over here.
01:13:13Yes, sir.
01:13:13Stay calm.
01:13:14Here we are.
01:13:15What is it?
01:13:16Okay, John.
01:13:17Just...
01:13:17We were far enough ahead.
01:13:19First of all, we have to stay on this side of the yellow line.
01:13:21This side?
01:13:21And somehow get the creature on that side.
01:13:23You understand that?
01:13:24Okay.
01:13:25Then we press the standby bar and the automatic shield comes down.
01:13:28Right?
01:13:29And then we press the airlock open and then whoosh.
01:13:30The creature's gone out.
01:13:31Whoosh.
01:13:31Whoosh.
01:13:33All right.
01:13:34Now all we have to do is get it here.
01:13:38How would you suggest that we might do that?
01:13:43Call it?
01:13:45Call it?
01:13:46Yes.
01:13:47Right.
01:13:48Call it.
01:13:50All right.
01:13:51Thing.
01:13:52Right?
01:13:53Yes.
01:13:54Thing.
01:13:55Hello?
01:13:55It'll come here.
01:13:57Creature!
01:13:58Yeah!
01:13:59Dripping.
01:14:00Come on now.
01:14:01Come and get us.
01:14:01Suit's on.
01:14:06In here.
01:14:10Oh, sir.
01:14:12Woo-hoo!
01:14:12Large being.
01:14:13Woo-hoo!
01:14:14Hello.
01:14:15Here we are.
01:14:22I think it's safe.
01:14:23You do.
01:14:24Come on.
01:14:25Come on.
01:14:44All right.
01:14:45Give the cassette to Max.
01:14:47Give the cassette to Max.
01:14:48Quickly.
01:14:49Give the cassette to Max.
01:14:49Get it.
01:15:07We're two bachelor bills.
01:15:10We're drunk every night to the gills.
01:15:12Well, we've got to have our fun.
01:15:15Cause we don't have anyone.
01:15:21We're all alone.
01:15:22We're out on our own.
01:15:23We've no one to care.
01:15:25Nobody to share.
01:15:26There isn't a miss who longs for the kiss of two bills.
01:15:30Out every night we get a bit tight.
01:15:33We've no one to meet.
01:15:34Our home is the street.
01:15:35Eat nothing but shop instead of the topper glue.
01:15:38Bills.
01:15:40Bills.
01:15:40Oh, we.
01:15:41Deserved a reprieve.
01:15:44Deserved a fair shake.
01:15:46Deserved a good deal.
01:15:49So please.
01:15:51We're down on our knees.
01:15:53We've been on rough seas.
01:15:55Just throw those keys to these two.
01:15:59So here we are.
01:16:00We go far to far.
01:16:01We're drowning our tears in numerous fears.
01:16:03Here's hoping we find someone who'll be kind in two bills.
01:16:08Who are blue bills.
01:16:10Who'll turn us into new bills.
01:16:14We're two bills.
01:16:16And we're looking for love.
01:16:55We did it.
01:16:56Oh, we did it.
01:16:57We did it.
01:16:57It's over.
01:16:58No.
01:16:58It's over.
01:16:59No.
01:16:59It's over.
01:17:00It's over.
01:17:03John.
01:17:04John.
01:17:05Come on.
01:17:06John.
01:17:07He's so happy.
01:17:08It's over, John.
01:17:09Come on.
01:17:10Look up.
01:17:10All right.
01:17:11I'll just carry you.
01:17:18It's 2.30.
01:17:19We're expecting light meteor showers later in the day,
01:17:23with skies clearing by evening.
01:17:26John.
01:17:27John.
01:17:27Your mother called.
01:17:28She just wanted to know if you're getting enough to eat.
01:17:32Look up.
01:18:13You're a hero, John.
01:18:15It's just you and me now.
01:18:18We're all alone.
01:18:37It was a nightmare, John.
01:18:40The creature's gone.
01:19:02The creature's gone.
01:19:33The creature's gone.
01:20:01The creature's gone.
01:20:04The creature's gone.
01:20:05The creature's gone.
01:20:06The creature's gone.
01:20:29The creature's gone.
01:20:37The creature's gone.
01:20:38The creature's gone.
01:20:40The creature's gone.
01:20:44The creature's gone.
01:20:56The creature's gone.
01:21:06The creature's gone.
01:21:07The creature's gone.
01:21:14The creature's gone.
01:21:14The creature's gone.
01:21:14The creature's gone.
01:21:14The creature's gone.
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