- 2 days ago
Neighborhood Watch - Season 1 - Episode 03: The Perils of Parenting
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TVTranscript
00:00Camera now recording.
00:16Hello, you are currently being recorded.
00:20Your house is a camera.
00:24At any given time, tens of millions of homes are recording your every move.
00:36And if you're watching at just the right moment,
00:46you'll catch your neighbors when they thought no one was looking.
00:51Ma'am, I do not know you.
00:53I thought he was pranking me and I was concentrating on if I needed to use the restroom.
00:58I have to pee.
01:00Hurry up.
01:01Come join.
01:03Hey-o.
01:07I got that.
01:10The Neighborhood Watch.
01:11You are currently being recorded.
01:17Oh, God.
01:21I am so f***ing done.
01:25Just drive over me, world.
01:33I just tripped because I'm running and I'm fat.
01:36No, you're not.
01:37Just run me out of the world.
01:42This man has no idea his wife is watching him.
01:46Hey, what are you doing?
01:48Mom?
01:50Hey, what are you doing?
01:54Huh?
01:56What are you doing?
01:58How are you talking to me?
02:00My phone's in the bedroom.
02:02Am I losing my mind?
02:04You're always being watched by your wife.
02:07Huh?
02:07Chris, how are you talking to me?
02:09I don't have my phone on me.
02:11The doorbell.
02:13What?
02:15How are you talking to that stinking doorbell?
02:20You scared me.
02:22I didn't mean to scare you.
02:30And...
02:37I just like this.
02:44This mother has come from Indiana to Ohio to visit her son.
02:48Can I help you?
02:51I think you're at the wrong door, ma'am.
02:55Ma'am.
02:56On the drive up, I had a 40-ounce cup of water that I was drinking.
03:01So by the time I got to his house, I had to use the restroom.
03:07Ma'am.
03:08I think you're at the wrong door, ma'am.
03:11I have to pee. Free up.
03:14I do not know you.
03:16He lives in a building with a stairway in the back and in the front.
03:20And I usually go up the front.
03:22This time I went in the back.
03:24Ma'am.
03:24I do not know you.
03:26This is 858.
03:27There's more than 301.
03:29I do not know you.
03:32Growing up, I was the problem child.
03:33I was always pulling pranks.
03:35I do like a voice where I just try to sound like a female and I'm just like...
03:38Ma'am.
03:39Ma'am.
03:40Ma'am.
03:42Ma'am.
03:43You sure it's not another building to 301?
03:46I think you're at the wrong door, ma'am.
03:49What was going through in my mind was, he's really pulling this prank a little too far.
03:54And I was concentrating on that I needed to use the restroom.
04:00There's more than 301, ma'am.
04:02Every building has a 301 because I don't know who you are.
04:04I could just hear that people are talking to each other through a ring doorbell.
04:08And so when I opened it, I was like, what are you doing?
04:14Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
04:18Holy crap, I'm at the wrong door.
04:21Oh, his neighbor's probably going to think I'm absolutely crazy.
04:25I didn't even get to hear the story because she's running to the bathroom.
04:29Sorry, she's at the wrong door.
04:34And so when she finally came back, she's like, I said to your neighbor that I had to pee.
04:38And I was like, I'm going to get that footage.
04:40I'm going to find Mac.
04:41So she sent it to me.
04:42And I think after that, she moved out the next week.
04:45So I'm like, was it her or I don't know.
04:48I'm a nurse and I've had patients say to me, you look really familiar.
04:52Are you a streamer or something?
04:53I said, no, I'm just TikTok famous.
04:59Dad.
05:00What?
05:01This father doesn't know whose voice he's hearing.
05:05How do you know me?
05:08Dad, I'm right here in the camera.
05:11What camera?
05:12On the doorbell.
05:14Can you see me?
05:18What a f***ing night.
05:20Hi.
05:21Get your keys.
05:22Get your keys.
05:23Get your keys.
05:25You got a piece of counter.
05:28Oh, it's not a f***ing permit.
05:37Uh, excuse me, Buck.
05:40Hey, hi.
05:41Can you stop eating my holiday arrangement?
05:45You back up, buddy.
05:47Okay, Merry Christmas.
05:49Ho, ho, ho.
05:51This dog snuck out at 4am and wants back in.
06:11It's 5.30 in the morning in this house in Texas.
06:26Back in bed, bud.
06:34Daddy!
06:38Nico, are you okay?
06:41You scared me.
06:46Oh, no.
06:51It's okay.
06:52I'm okay.
06:53Oh, no.
06:56Police officers want to have a word with this homeowner.
07:00Who am I speaking to?
07:01I knew something was wrong.
07:03He's super lucky he didn't get shot.
07:18A cop has something surprising to say to this homeowner.
07:23Door dash.
07:26What's going on here?
07:27Your driver got arrested.
07:28Oh, no.
07:31Oh, no.
07:31Do you enjoy?
07:38My nerds.
07:40Ow!
07:46You saw that, too.
07:47You saw that.
07:48Oh, this is terrible.
07:50I did it again.
07:51I did it again.
07:58These officers want to discuss some suspicious activity.
08:02Who am I speaking to?
08:03This is the owner of the house.
08:05Okay, is your brother-in-law supposed to be here?
08:08Yes, he is.
08:10I was away from home when this is all occurring.
08:12We had left and my brother-in-law was coming down.
08:15So we gave him the garage combination so that he could just get in straight to the garage.
08:19When I saw the police officer ring the doorbell, I knew something was wrong.
08:23There's some sort of mix-up.
08:25I'm sure he'll tell you the full story, but no one's in any trouble and we'll let him come on
08:29in.
08:30Okay.
08:31Perfect.
08:32Hey, Matt.
08:33Yeah.
08:34What happened?
08:36Hey.
08:37Sorry.
08:38I feel bad.
08:39I jumped your neighbor's fence thinking it was your house.
08:44So, yeah, he called the cops on me.
08:47Understandably.
08:48Oh, my God.
08:50I was very confident when I pulled up to the house that this is Matt's house.
08:54Tried the code a couple times that he gave me.
08:58Didn't work.
08:59And then I decided, whatever, I'll just go around the back, see if the back door is unlocked.
09:06I was thinking, oh, it looks a little bit different back here.
09:09There's a little more plants and pots and things like that.
09:13And that's where I was like, man, the minute you saw the pool, you should have been like, okay, this
09:18is not the right house.
09:20It was late at night.
09:21I had been working all day.
09:23I just want to get in and go to sleep.
09:26So I just went up to the back door, tried that, and it was locked as well.
09:30So I pulled out a credit card and actually started trying to open the door that way.
09:37Did not do that.
09:40Where?
09:40Back door.
09:41Open it.
09:42And he's like, honey, call the cops.
09:48Dude.
09:49Dude.
09:50So at that point, I decided to turn and run and noticed about four houses down that, hey, there's Matt's
09:57house.
09:58I was off.
09:59Then I heard a helicopter overhead and I was like, oh, shoot.
10:04I've got to go out there and talk to him.
10:06They didn't arrest you, though, did they?
10:09No.
10:09No, they just sat me on the curb.
10:11Oh, my gosh.
10:13This was the best choice I've ever heard.
10:15The police were all still there behind him.
10:18You could see the officers.
10:19And he just, like, looked utterly defeated.
10:22What a way to end the day.
10:25You're lucky you didn't get shot.
10:27Exactly right.
10:31Go inside.
10:32Make some chicken wings or something.
10:35I don't care about eating chicken wings.
10:38I just want to go to sleep.
10:39All right, buddy.
10:40Take care.
10:41Okay, bye.
10:48A man is using a pogo stick to break up ice on his sidewalk.
10:58No way you guys got that.
11:02Please don't.
11:03The cameras are off.
11:06Camera now recording.
11:08This dad has a message for his family.
11:14After a hard day at work, you know what makes good?
11:17This.
11:21Good echo out here.
11:40Where's the camera?
11:44Hello?
11:45You see me?
11:46You don't have to move your face that close.
11:48Where's the camera?
11:49Hello?
11:50Where's the camera?
11:54Oh, wait.
11:56I got a camera.
11:57I'm not watching this one.
11:59These boys are going door to door after a heavy snowfall.
12:07Hello.
12:08Hi.
12:09Do you want us to shove your driveway for $20?
12:11Um, yeah.
12:14Yes, we do.
12:14Okay, one second.
12:15Can you give us the camera?
12:17It's like $10 each.
12:18Yeah, $10 each?
12:19Yeah.
12:19Yeah, for sure.
12:22It's toasted.
12:23I thought you'd just wear that for now.
12:25We're rich.
12:27Rich foil.
12:28Oh, oil on you.
12:30Awesome!
12:31I'm rich.
12:33And our paper bags, all our money we'll be carrying up on.
12:37We're rich.
12:44hey this is the only house in here that's not decorated very much
12:48clayton you got a little bit more work to do
12:53so let's get busy peace out
13:15a camera catches a teen running for his life
13:18a boy has gone to tell his neighbors their dog
13:38has gotten loose
13:39ahhh
13:40ahhh
14:10ahhh
14:14I'm good
14:18hello you are currently being recorded
14:20it's November in Ohio
14:22and these sisters have a request of their neighbor
14:25do not touch it again
14:29do not touch it again
14:30okay
14:31we can't answer the door right now but if you'd like to leave a message you can do it now
14:37okay
14:38my kids are super cute
14:43Ashley and Zoe at the time were four and five
14:46I think the girls were just so little that they just didn't realize that it's a robot
14:51or like an automated message
14:52so they're all like hi
14:54yeah
14:55we want somebody to play with us
14:57do you have any girls or like five years old or like a big kid like me I'm five years
15:05old
15:06and me too
15:07and here's Ashley over here with me and I'm Zoe
15:11there's not a lot of kids in our neighborhood so my kids are kind of always like oh I want
15:15to have some friends
15:16I just thought they were just running around in the neighbor's yard
15:20I didn't know they were actually knocking on the door
15:25he's not doing something
15:29what
15:30we can't answer the door right now
15:32the neighbor sent it to me
15:34and I was like oh my gosh
15:36how did I not even know this was happening
15:38the girls were like oh we were just looking for some friends
15:41so I'd explain to them like okay well you have to ask mom before you go knocking on random people's
15:46doors
15:48why is that looking?
15:50because she was just wondering
15:52I did actually have a few parents that were like
15:55oh they're always welcome to come play at my house and all this
15:59so they have friends now for sure
16:01they just they make you laugh all the time
16:04you never know what they're gonna say or what they're thinking
16:11Oliver
16:18a dad uses his camera to deliver a message
16:22who's out there?
16:25Santa?
16:26Santa?
16:27Santa?
16:27Santa is that you?
16:30Merry Christmas!
16:32Ho ho ho!
16:33What is it?
16:34Santa!
16:35Why?
16:37Becket I'm watching you
16:39you better be a good listener
16:42Okay Santa!
16:45Ho ho ho!
16:47Alfie tells me everything!
16:51It's Santa!
16:53You and daddy were supposed to put Christmas lights up
16:56Ho ho ho!
16:58Easy there Valerie!
17:02Okay Santa get off your keister
17:11Mom!
17:13Mom!
17:14Hurry up!
17:15Mom!
17:19Mom!
17:19Hurry up!
17:32Mom!
17:34Mom!
17:37Unlock the door!
17:38I have to go poop!
17:41No!
17:42I have to go really bad!
17:46Aw!
17:46I'm coming!
17:47I already went!
17:58Do you have an eye recognition?
18:01Oh!
18:02Oh!
18:03Oh!
18:07Oh!
18:08Oh baby I'm sorry!
18:09We have a little video now!
18:10I know!
18:14I know!
18:16Oh!
18:21Oh!
18:22Oh!
18:22Oh!
18:23Oh!
18:23Oh!
18:24Oh!
18:24Oh!
18:25Oh!
18:28I was concentrating so hard on the camera and making funny faces that you'd scare the
18:34out of me.
18:37This woman in Florida has her hands full.
18:54My pants fell off.
19:01I'm walking over here and they're getting longer and longer and longer.
19:08Odin sits.
19:11Get down.
19:13Sit.
19:16Odin sits.
19:41This cookie thief doesn't realize she's being watched.
19:47What the f*** are you doing?
19:56I can't hear what you're saying.
20:03Mommy, no, no.
20:06Mommy, no, no.
20:08Mommy, no, no.
20:10Mommy, go race.
20:14Mommy, get over.
20:15What are you doing?
20:20Hey, Mommy.
20:22Hey, Mommy.
20:23Get out of that cabinet.
20:34Hey.
20:36Hey.
20:38Oh my God.
20:40There's one over here, guys.
20:43Mine.
20:44No.
20:45That's only for humans.
20:47Did you see the trigger there?
20:48Should we ding dong?
20:49Should we ding dong, bitch?
20:52We had before.
20:55No, because there's a camera.
20:57Here.
20:58I'll cover the camera.
21:06Hello.
21:07You are currently being recorded.
21:09Hi.
21:11I don't care, because I'm Amazon.
21:16Amazon.
21:20FedEx don't look like this.
21:23FedEx ain't looked like this.
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