- 14 hours ago
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00:00Coach Wellington hinted that today's scrimmage would seal the deal.
00:04Three years of 6 a.m. practices, bloody knuckles, and muscles screaming for mercy.
00:12Three years of being the first one on the ice and the last one off.
00:16The transfer students file into the arena one by one, and I couldn't care less about any of them.
00:22My skates are already laced, my stick taped fresh this morning, and my mind locked on one thing only.
00:31The captain title I've been chasing for three goddamn years.
00:37This is my moment, and nothing is going to take it from me.
00:41Ash, it's you.
00:43My heart slams to a stop.
00:46I turn, and there he is, Blaze Wilson.
00:50Messy hair falling into warm brown eyes, that same easy confidence radiating off him in waves.
00:57Taller now, broader in the shoulders, but unmistakably him.
01:01The boy who learned to skate because I dragged him onto frozen ponds when we were ten.
01:07Told you we'd end up here.
01:08The boy who cried when his family announced they were moving across the country.
01:12Blaze, I can't believe you're actually here.
01:16When did you?
01:17I transferred last week, wanted to surprise you, missed you, man.
01:22We've got a lot of catching up to do.
01:26You have no idea how long I've waited for this.
01:29All right, listen up.
01:30Today's scrimmage determines your positions going forward.
01:33Everyone on the ice in five.
01:35See you out there, Ash.
01:36Try to keep up.
01:39Try to keep up?
01:41What does that mean?
01:43He's competing for Captain Toop?
01:45The scrimmage starts, and I throw myself into every play with everything I have.
01:51This is what I've trained for.
01:53Every drill, every sacrifice, every moment of pain, it all comes down to this.
02:00Then I noticed Blaze.
02:02The techniques I spent years mastering through blood and repetition, he executes without even trying.
02:10Nice try.
02:12Almost had me there.
02:13Almost.
02:14The story of my goddamn life.
02:17Marcus, you go left!
02:19Brown, you support me!
02:21The other players gravitate toward him instinctively, following his calls, trusting his decisions.
02:29I trained for years to be this good.
02:32Sacrificed parties, relationships, sleep.
02:36And he just is.
02:38Solid performance today.
02:40Exactly what I needed to see.
02:42This is it.
02:44Everything I've worked for.
02:45We need a new captain who can take us to championships.
02:49Someone the team will follow into battle.
02:52Based on today's performance, Blaze Wilson will lead this team.
02:58Three years.
02:59Three years of being overlooked.
03:01Of waiting my turn.
03:03Of proving myself over and over.
03:06You really earned that one, buddy.
03:14Let me take you out, catch up properly.
03:16Actually, it's been way too long, man.
03:20Congratulations, Captain.
03:22Ash, come on.
03:23Don't be like that.
03:24We're on the same team now.
03:26Isn't this what we always wanted?
03:27I have to go.
03:31Ash, wait.
03:36Sleep doesn't come that night.
03:38By morning, I give up trying.
03:40If I can't be captain, I'll be undeniable.
03:44I'll be so damn good they'll have no choice but to finally notice me.
03:49The arena is empty at 5 a.m.
03:52Just me, the ice, and the echo of my skates cutting through silence.
03:57This is what separates me from everyone else.
04:00While they sleep or party, I work.
04:03Yesterday replays in my head on a loop.
04:06Coach's voice announcing Blaze as captain.
04:08The way my stomach dropped.
04:10The way Blaze winked at me across the circle.
04:14Oblivious to the devastation written across my face.
04:17This is what separates me from everyone else.
04:22Nice moves.
04:23Don't you have a team to lead, captain?
04:25I'm leading right now.
04:27Showing up early to check on my hardest working player.
04:30I don't need checking on.
04:31Oh, sure you don't.
04:32That's why you've been out here since before dawn,
04:34running the same drills over and over.
04:36Totally normal behavior.
04:37It's called dedication.
04:40And you, you should try it sometime.
04:43Ouch.
04:44That one actually stung, Ash.
04:52Carpenter drills.
04:54Carpenter, Wilson, you're together.
04:59Lucky me.
05:00The drills are brutal.
05:02Exactly what I need.
05:04I throw myself into every play, pushing harder than anyone else.
05:09But Blaze matches me at every turn.
05:11Faster.
05:12Smoother.
05:13Smoother.
05:13Reading the ice three moves ahead while I'm still processing the first.
05:18We move through the formations.
05:20Bodies forced into close proximity.
05:23Pass.
05:23Receive.
05:24Pivot.
05:24Repeat.
05:25His stick brush is mine.
05:27Our shoulders collide on a turn.
05:30Every point of contact sends unwanted awareness sparking through my nerves.
05:35Why do you tense up every time I get close?
05:38I am not.
05:40Relax, Ash.
05:41I don't bite unless you ask nicely.
05:44There he is.
05:46Missed that fire, man.
05:49One day.
05:51That's all it took for him to become everyone's favorite person.
05:56Three years of me building respect on this team.
05:59And he waltzed in and surpassed it without trying.
06:10Rough day, Davey?
06:12Something like that.
06:14Want to talk about it?
06:16Not really.
06:17She doesn't push.
06:18That's one of the things I appreciate about my girlfriend.
06:21She knows when to let things go.
06:23Her fingers thread through mine.
06:25And for a moment, the chaos in my head quiets.
06:28I have this.
06:30I have her.
06:31I don't need Blaze's friendship or approval.
06:34Ash, you haven't heard a word I said, have you?
06:37Sorry.
06:38Just tired.
06:40You're always tired lately.
06:42You know how long it's been since we've actually spent time together.
06:46Real time?
06:47Three weeks, Ash.
06:49Three weeks since you've touched me properly.
06:53I miss you.
06:55I miss your hands on me.
06:57Miss feeling you against me.
06:58I'm really tired today, Ames.
07:01Practice was brutal.
07:02It's always practice.
07:05I know.
07:07After the season settles down, I promise.
07:10I'll make it up to you.
07:12You mean after you figure out whatever's going on with the new transfer?
07:16What?
07:17What do you mean?
07:19Blaze.
07:20You've mentioned his name like six times since he got here.
07:24Because he's annoying.
07:25He stole my captain position.
07:28Of course I'm going to talk about him.
07:30Just don't let him get in your head, okay?
07:33He's not in my head.
07:47The bar is packed with teammates, and I'm exactly where I want to be.
07:52Center of attention.
07:53Surrounded by people who actually want to be around me.
07:56He hasn't looked up once.
07:58Hasn't acknowledged that I exist.
08:00One week.
08:01I've been here one week, and he's treated me like a stranger.
08:05Worse than a stranger.
08:08I tried being nice.
08:10Tried being patient.
08:12Tried giving him space to come around on his own.
08:16Fine.
08:16If he wants to act unreasonable, I'll give him unreasonable.
08:23Ash, stop hiding in the corner like a brooding vampire and get over here.
08:29What?
08:30Afraid you can't handle being near me outside the rink?
08:33Scared I'll bite?
08:35I'm not scared of anything.
08:37Especially not you.
08:41Prove it, then.
08:42His eyes stay open the entire time.
08:44Locked on mine.
08:45Defiant.
08:46Challenging.
08:47Look what I have.
08:48Look what you can't touch.
08:50When he finally releases her,
08:52Emilia looks dazed.
08:54Pleased.
08:55Cheeks flushed.
08:56She has no idea she's just been used as a weapon.
08:59I turn away, launching into another story.
09:02But the moment lingers.
09:03The taste of defeat.
09:05The image of his mouth on hers,
09:08burned into my retinas.
09:10I hate that it worked.
09:12Hate that I'm still hoping for something he clearly doesn't want to give.
09:16Come on, man.
09:17Lighten up.
09:18Lighten up.
09:21Interesting.
09:23The girlfriend leaves, but he stays.
09:33Running away, Eden?
09:35What is your problem?
09:37I'm going home.
09:39Some of us have early practice.
09:41Bullshit.
09:42You've been avoiding me all week.
09:45Running every time I get close.
09:47Maybe I just don't want to be around you.
09:50Oh, starting to think you're not just annoyed, Ash.
09:54Starting to think I'm the one who makes you nervous.
09:56You don't make me anything except tired.
10:00Liar.
10:00You tense up the second I walk into a room.
10:03Your eyes track me even when you pretend they don't.
10:06I thought you'd be happy we're finally together again.
10:09Same ice, same team.
10:11Everything we promised each other when we were kids.
10:14Yeah, it was a promise.
10:16But never to steal someone else's dream.
10:18Never to show up out of nowhere and take everything I work for.
10:21What do you mean, steal?
10:24Ash, I didn't steal anything.
10:27The captaincy was supposed to be mine.
10:29Three years I worked for it.
10:30Three years of being first on the ice and last off.
10:32Then you waltz in and it's just handed to you.
10:34I didn't steal it, Ash.
10:36I claimed it.
10:37There's a difference.
10:39Get out of my face.
10:42Make me.
10:43Just talk to me.
10:45Tell me what I did wrong and I'll fix it.
10:48Whatever it takes.
10:49I missed you, Ash.
10:51Every single day for years, I missed you.
10:54This truly isn't the way I thought things would go with you after all these years.
10:58We were kids, Blaze.
11:01Promises don't mean anything.
11:02My chest aching.
11:04Replaying the way he kissed her while staring at me.
11:06Like he was trying to prove something to me.
11:08Or to himself.
11:09He's lying.
11:11He has to be.
11:12There's something beneath the anger about the captaincy.
11:15Something he won't let himself admit.
11:18We were kids.
11:19Promises don't mean anything.
11:21But the way his breath caught when I got close.
11:23The way he kissed his girlfriend like a performance meant from my eyes only.
11:28He felt it too.
11:29I know he did.
11:30Asher Carpenter thinks if he pushes hard enough, I'll give up and walk away.
11:34He should know better.
11:40We need to talk.
11:42What the?
11:43I don't want to talk.
11:45Move.
11:45Look, we have a big game coming up.
11:48Scouts everywhere.
11:49This could make or break the season for a lot of guys on this team.
11:52I'm aware.
11:53Then you know we need to be focused.
11:55All of us.
11:57But that's not going to happen if you keep treating me like the enemy.
12:00We're supposed to be on the same side.
12:03Ashy.
12:04You know, it's hard to remember that when you're wearing my captain badge.
12:07What if I wasn't?
12:09What?
12:09The captain thing.
12:11What if I stepped back?
12:13Gave it to you instead?
12:14You're serious.
12:15Dead serious.
12:17Let us be a team again.
12:19On the ice at least.
12:20That's all I'm asking.
12:21And you'll give up the captaincy.
12:23If that's what it takes to get you to trust me again.
12:26Yeah.
12:30Did you hear that?
12:31Ash.
12:32Wait.
12:36I can't breathe.
12:37Can't think.
12:39Can't do anything except stand there while my entire world collapses.
12:44All of it.
12:45A lie.
12:47Marcus.
12:49What the hell?
12:52Look, Blaze.
12:54That's not...
12:55Not...
12:55Don't.
12:56Don't even try.
12:58Asher, please.
12:59Let me explain.
13:02It didn't mean anything.
13:03I swear.
13:05Let's go.
13:07Asher, please.
13:09Just let me explain.
13:11It was a mistake.
13:12It only happened once.
13:14Ash.
13:16Breathe.
13:17I can't.
13:19Hey, hey.
13:20Look at me.
13:22Focus on my voice.
13:24You're okay.
13:26She was...
13:27With him.
13:28The whole time she was with him.
13:30I know.
13:31And it's messed up.
13:33What she did is messed up.
13:36And you didn't deserve it.
13:37Everyone I trust.
13:40Everyone I let in.
13:42Not everyone.
13:43I'm here, Ash.
13:45I'm not going anywhere.
13:47It's okay.
13:48Let it out.
13:49I've got you.
13:52Don't.
13:54Don't touch me.
13:55Don't be nice to me.
13:57Ash.
13:57This is your fault.
14:00Everything was fine before you came here.
14:02My team.
14:03My position.
14:04My girlfriend.
14:05That's not fair.
14:06And you know it.
14:07I don't care about fair.
14:08I need someone to blame and you're always there.
14:11Always pushing.
14:13Always looking at me like...
14:15Like...
14:15Like what, Ash?
14:16Nothing.
14:17Forget it.
14:18I have to go.
14:23Two days since Blaze cornered me outside the locker room.
14:27Two days since he offered to give up the captaincy.
14:30The thing I've resented him for since the moment he arrived.
14:34Like it meant nothing.
14:35Like I meant more.
14:37Two days since I broke down crying in a supply closet while he held my face in his hands and
14:44told me I'd be okay.
14:45I should be thinking about Amelia.
14:48About the betrayal.
14:49But here's the thing that keeps me up at night.
14:52Staring at my ceiling in the dark.
14:56I'm not as upset as I should be.
14:58That bone deep devastation I expected.
15:02It never arrived.
15:05I keep waiting for it.
15:07Searching for it.
15:08And finding nothing but emptiness where grief should live.
15:12What does that say about me?
15:14About us.
15:16About the entire year I spent convincing myself she was everything I needed.
15:22Maybe she was never what I needed at all.
15:24I push the thought away and drag myself to practice.
15:28The ice is the only place that makes sense anymore.
15:31The cold.
15:32The burn in my muscles.
15:34The simple clarity of chasing a puck.
15:37Except today...
15:39Even that feels wrong.
15:41I'm off.
15:41Every pass slightly mistimed.
15:45Every shot lacking power.
15:48My body moves through the drills on autopilot.
15:51While my mind circles endlessly around brown eyes in the darkness.
15:56Around hands cupping my face.
15:58Around a voice whispering,
16:00I've got you.
16:02Nice one carpenter.
16:04A little soft on that pass, don't you think?
16:06Actually that tracks.
16:08Always figured you were a bit too delicate.
16:12Maybe that's why your bitch liked me better.
16:16Wanted someone who could actually handle her.
16:26You don't talk to him like that.
16:32You don't even look at him.
16:35Understand?
16:36What the hell is wrong with you?
16:38It was just a joke.
16:40Does it look like I'm laughing?
16:42Wilson.
16:43Enough.
16:44Locker room.
16:44Now.
16:45Both of you.
16:55That was stupid.
16:57Probably.
16:58You could get suspended.
16:59Ticked off the team.
17:01Right before regionals.
17:03Worth it.
17:04Let me see.
17:05It's fine.
17:06I said let me see.
17:10You're an idiot.
17:11These are gonna bruise badly.
17:13I've had worse.
17:16Why did you do it?
17:17Why do you keep?
17:19Keep what?
17:20Why do you keep fighting for me?
17:22Because someone has to.
17:24Because you deserve someone in your corner who isn't going to leave.
17:28Blaze.
17:28You don't have to say anything.
17:30I'm not asking for anything, Ash.
17:33I just need you to know I'm not going anywhere.
17:35No matter how hard you push.
17:44I should go.
17:46I feel his eyes on me the entire way.
17:48And when I finally reach my car, collapse into the driver's seat, press my forehead against
17:54the steering wheel.
17:56It's not Amelia's face, I see.
17:58It's his.
17:59And I have no idea what to do with that.
18:08You've been different since we got here.
18:11Distracted.
18:12Off your game.
18:13Don't know, man.
18:15New team.
18:16New dynamics.
18:18Takes time to adjust.
18:19That's some bullshit.
18:21It's Carpenter.
18:22Ever since you saw him again, you've been not yourself, I would say.
18:26Look, we have history.
18:28I told you that before we transferred.
18:30History.
18:31Except you don't look at him like a childhood friend, Blaze.
18:34You look at him like...
18:35Like what?
18:36Just be careful.
18:36We've been winning together for two years.
18:39Don't let old attachments mess that up.
18:41I know what I'm doing.
18:43Do you?
18:45Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like you're losing your head over some guy who
18:48can't decide if he wants to punch you or whatever.
18:52Just don't forget what we came here for.
18:53It's our day off.
18:54No practice scheduled.
18:56So the arena should be empty.
18:58Perfect.
18:58Just me and the ice and the silence.
19:01Except when I push through the doors, the arena isn't empty.
19:05A single figure moves on the ice.
19:07Stick connecting with pucks in a rhythm I'd recognize anywhere.
19:11Asher.
19:13Of course it's Asher.
19:15The universe has a sick sense of humor.
19:18Didn't expect company.
19:19Neither did I.
19:23Want me to leave?
19:25No.
19:26We fall into an unspoken rhythm.
19:28Passing drills first.
19:30The pucks sliding between us with increasing precision.
19:33Then skating formations.
19:34Our bodies moving in sync like we're reading each other's minds.
19:38This is what I came for.
19:40We push harder.
19:41Racing each other down the ice.
19:43Competing for the puck.
19:44Bodies checking into boards with increasing intensity.
19:47It's aggressive.
19:48Almost violent.
19:50And underneath it all, something electric that crackles between us every time we get too close.
19:57We should.
20:01Ash.
20:07Blaze.
20:10Blaze.
20:10Blaze.
20:11Blaze.
20:11Blaze.
20:12Blaze.
20:13Blaze.
20:17Rina's closing early today.
20:20Gotta clear out in ten.
20:24Yeah.
20:26Thanks.
20:30Ash.
20:32You okay?
20:33What the hell was that?
20:34I don't know.
20:35Almost.
20:36We.
20:37Almost.
20:38Yeah.
20:39I don't.
20:40I don't know what that means.
20:41It doesn't have to mean anything right now.
20:44We don't have to figure it out tonight.
20:46Come on.
20:47I'll walk you out.
20:59I can't stop thinking about what just happened.
21:02Blaze on top of me.
21:04Our noses brushing.
21:06The way my fingers curled into his jersey, pulling him closer when I should have pushed him away.
21:12Neither of us has spoken since we left the ice.
21:15What is there to say?
21:16We almost kissed.
21:18I almost let it happen.
21:19I almost wanted it more than I've wanted anything in a long time.
21:23What the hell does that make me?
21:25Ashur!
21:27I've been waiting for you.
21:29I knew you'd be here.
21:31You always come here when you're upset.
21:33Can we talk?
21:34Please?
21:35Just five minutes.
21:36I need to explain.
21:38There's nothing to explain.
21:39There is.
21:41It was a mistake, Ashur.
21:43A stupid, terrible mistake.
21:45Marcus didn't mean anything to me.
21:49I was lonely and you were always at practice.
21:52And I just...
21:53I'm so sorry.
21:55I love you.
21:56I want to fix this.
21:57No.
22:00What?
22:01I said no.
22:03We're done, Amelia.
22:05I don't want to fix this.
22:07Ashur, please.
22:08He said no.
22:10This is a private conversation.
22:12Didn't look like a conversation to me.
22:15Looked like you weren't taking no for an answer.
22:18Who the hell do you think you are?
22:20Which had nothing to do with you.
22:22It has everything to do with me.
22:24He's my teammate, my friend, and you heard him.
22:28So, yeah, I'm making it my business.
22:30Is this why?
22:33Is he why you're throwing away a year together?
22:36This isn't about him.
22:37Really?
22:38Because he's been glued to your side since he got here.
22:41God, Ashur.
22:43I knew you were distant, but I didn't realize you...
22:45Think very carefully about what you're about to say.
22:50We're done here.
22:51Don't wait for me again.
22:57Don't wait for me again.
22:58Ashur!
23:00Wait!
23:04Are you okay?
23:05No.
23:06I don't know what I am.
23:08That's fair.
23:09Walk me home?
23:10Yeah.
23:11Of course.
23:17Thank you for back there.
23:19With Amelia.
23:20You don't have to thank me.
23:21I know.
23:23But still.
23:25I'm not used to someone...
23:27Having your back?
23:28Get used to it.
23:30I meant what I said, Ash.
23:33I'm not going anywhere.
23:36Can I ask you something?
23:38Depends.
23:39What she said back there.
23:41About me being the reason you're okay with ending things.
23:44Is that true?
23:45I don't know.
23:46Maybe.
23:48Partly.
23:49When I caught her with Marcus, I expected to be devastated.
23:53But I wasn't.
23:55Not the way I should have been.
23:57Not the way you're supposed to feel when you lose someone you love.
24:00And now...
24:01Now I'm starting to think maybe I never loved her at all.
24:03Maybe I just wanted to want her.
24:06Because that's what I was supposed to do.
24:07There's nothing wrong with figuring out what you actually want, Ash.
24:11Even if it's scary.
24:13Is that what you did?
24:15Figure out what you want?
24:16I figured that out a long time ago.
24:20I've just been waiting for the right moment.
24:22Let's go.
24:27This is me.
24:31I know.
24:33Do you want to come up?
24:35Are you sure?
24:37Yeah, I'm sure.
24:38The door closes behind us and suddenly the night feels different.
24:43Charged with possibility.
24:45Terrifying in ways I'm only beginning to understand.
24:53Nice place.
24:54It's small.
24:55It's yours.
24:57That counts for something.
25:00So, you want something to drink?
25:02I've got water.
25:03Maybe some beer.
25:04Nah, I'm good.
25:06Well, I'm going to shower.
25:07It's been a long day.
25:08I need to just wash it off.
25:11Take your time.
25:13But don't be too long.
25:17I've been in here too long.
25:19I know that.
25:20Blaze is sitting in my living room, probably wondering what the hell is taking me so long.
25:25But I can't face him.
25:27Not with the memory of his body on mine, still burning under my skin.
25:32His breath against my lips.
25:34The way I pulled him closer instead of pushing him away.
25:39I pressed my forehead against the cool tile.
25:41My thoughts are a mess.
25:43Amelia, the almost kiss.
25:45The way Blaze looked at me when I invited him up.
25:49What the hell?
25:52You've been in here for 30 minutes.
25:55Thought you might have drowned.
25:57I'm fine.
25:58Get out.
25:59Relax, Ash.
26:01We've got the same parts.
26:03Nothing I haven't seen before.
26:06Remember when we were kids?
26:08We used to shower together after practice all the time.
26:12We were 10.
26:14So?
26:14Bodies are bodies.
26:24What are you doing?
26:26Your water pressure is better than mine.
26:29Blaze.
26:29Ash, you're tense.
26:31I can see it from here.
26:33Wonder why.
26:34You know what I think?
26:37I think you're scared.
26:39I'm not scared.
26:40You're terrified.
26:42You've been running from this since I got here.
26:45From whatever this is between us.
26:47There's nothing between us.
26:49Liar.
26:51Your heart is racing.
26:52I can see your pulse.
26:57Well, well.
27:00How far are you willing to go for that captain position, Ash?
27:03That's not.
27:04Not what?
27:05Not hard right now?
27:07Not standing in the shower with me.
27:10Clearly enjoying the view.
27:14Fuck you.
27:15Is that an offer?
27:21Let me go.
27:22Do you actually want me to?
27:24I'm not gay.
27:26Okay.
27:27Then what are you?
27:28I don't know.
27:29I don't know, okay?
27:30I don't know what I am or what I want.
27:32Or why I can't stop thinking about...
27:34About what?
27:35You.
27:37The word lodges in my throat.
27:40Too terrifying to speak.
27:42Tell me to stop and I will.
27:44I'll walk out of this shower.
27:45And we'll pretend this never happened.
27:53But you have to say it, Ash.
27:56You have to mean it.
28:02That's what I thought.
28:15That's what I thought.
28:21I'll walk out of this shower.
28:21I'll walk out of this shower.
28:21That's what I thought.
28:21Still not gay?
28:25Shut up.
28:26Just shut up.
28:36God, you're beautiful like this.
28:39All that control finally cracking.
28:42All those walls coming down.
28:48Let go, Ash.
28:51I've got you.
28:57Still think there's nothing between us?
29:01Three days.
29:03It's been three days since the shower,
29:05and I still can't close my eyes without feeling his hand on me.
29:10I've called in sick to practice twice now.
29:13Coach Wellington left a voicemail that I deleted without listening to.
29:17Teammates have texted asking if I'm okay.
29:20I've ignored all of them.
29:22My apartment feels like a prison.
29:24I haven't been able to shower without remembering
29:27the steam, the water, his body pressed against mine.
29:32The way I fell apart in his hands,
29:34like I'd been waiting my whole life for someone to touch me like that.
29:38I tell myself it was physical.
29:41Just bodies responding to stimulation.
29:44Put any two people in a hot shower together,
29:46add some tension, and biology takes over.
29:50But then I remember his voice in my ear,
29:53low and rough,
29:55saying my name like it meant something.
29:57Let go, Ash.
29:58Saying,
29:59I've got you.
30:01like he actually meant it.
30:02And I remember the way I moaned for him,
30:05the way I came undone with his name on my lips.
30:09Blaze.
30:10I need air,
30:12need space,
30:13need to outrun the thoughts chasing me in circles.
30:16But there's nowhere to go.
30:18Nowhere that isn't tainted by memories of him.
30:21The rink where we practiced together.
30:24The parking lot where he rescued me from Amelia.
30:27Blaze!
30:27My own fucking apartment,
30:29where I invited him in like an idiot and let him...
30:32Yeah, I'm sure.
30:33Is this really what I want?
30:37Say it.
30:38Just fucking say it.
30:42I'm not straight.
30:44I've never been straight.
30:50I've been in love with him my whole life.
30:53I just didn't have the words for it until now.
30:56The realization should terrify me,
30:59and it does, it absolutely does.
31:01But underneath the fear,
31:03there's something else.
31:05Something that feels almost like relief.
31:08A peace clicking into place
31:11that's been missing forever.
31:14Tomorrow, I'll go back to practice.
31:16Tomorrow, I'll face him,
31:18face the team,
31:19face whatever comes next.
31:21Tonight, I let myself breathe.
31:25Three days without Asher on the ice
31:27feels like missing a limb.
31:28I check my phone between every drill.
31:31His reply from yesterday,
31:32that single,
31:34yeah,
31:35sits in our text thread like a lifeline I'm afraid to pull.
31:39I want to text again.
31:40But I know him.
31:42Pushing too hard will only make him retreat further.
31:45So I wait.
31:47I try not to think about the steam.
31:49His body against mine.
31:50The way he fell apart in my hands
31:52like he'd been waiting his whole life
31:53for someone to touch him like that.
31:55The way he moaned my name.
31:57Blaze.
31:58God, I can't stop hearing it.
32:00Wilson, head in the game!
32:03Sorry, coach.
32:07Listen up.
32:08I've got news.
32:10Regional championship.
32:12Three weeks out.
32:14The weight of his words settles on my shoulders.
32:16As captain, the pressure falls heaviest on me.
32:20Scouts will be watching.
32:22NHL representatives from at least five different organizations.
32:27Professional opportunities are on the line
32:30for those who prove themselves.
32:32I need every single one of you locked in.
32:35No distractions.
32:37No drama.
32:39No bullshit.
32:41We have the talent to win this.
32:43But talent means nothing without unity.
32:45I need this team functioning as one organism.
32:48That means everyone pulling their weight.
32:52Everyone showing up.
32:54Everyone putting the team first.
32:56Make sure a carpenter gets the message
33:01when he's feeling better.
33:03Yes, coach.
33:07Heavy is the head that wears the crown, huh?
33:10Something like that.
33:12Walk with me.
33:16You really think you can just walk away?
33:19Carpenter's been out three days.
33:21He's sick, is he?
33:22Because I heard he's been avoiding the rink entirely.
33:25Won't even answer the door when teammates stop by.
33:28Danny tried to bring him soup yesterday.
33:30No response.
33:31How would you know that?
33:33I asked around.
33:34Seemed weird that our star player suddenly disappears, right?
33:36When we're gearing up for the biggest game of the season.
33:38Wanted to make sure everything was okay.
33:42Everything's fine.
33:42Is this it?
33:43Because from where I'm standing,
33:44it looks like you've got your head so far up carpenter's ass
33:47that you're forgetting what actually matters here.
33:50Excuse me?
33:51You heard me.
33:53You beat Marcus bloody for him.
33:55You spent every free moment practicing with him.
33:57You transferred across the country for him.
33:59Don't think...
34:00I don't know what this is really about.
34:02I've been your partner for three years, Blaze.
34:04Three years.
34:05Two championships.
34:07I had your back through everything.
34:09And suddenly some guy from your childhood shows up and I'm what?
34:12Second string?
34:15Yesterday's news?
34:16Jackson, that's not...
34:17I don't need explanations.
34:19I need you focused.
34:20We have a championship to win.
34:22And I'm not losing it because you're too busy chasing someone
34:25who clearly doesn't want to be caught.
34:28It's not much.
34:30Not an explanation or an apology
34:33or any acknowledgement of what happened between us.
34:36But it's something.
34:38A door cracked open instead of slammed shut.
34:42A chance to talk, even if it's just about hockey.
34:46I'll take it.
34:48I'll take anything he's willing to give me.
34:51The coffee shop is small and quiet.
34:54Tucked away on a side street
34:56where no one from the team would think to look.
34:59I arrive 20 minutes early
35:01because I'm a masochist, apparently.
35:04Four days.
35:05It's been four days since the shower.
35:08Since I sat on my bathroom floor
35:10and admitted the truth to myself.
35:13Three days of avoiding practice.
35:15Avoiding my phone.
35:17Avoiding everything except the war
35:19raging inside my own head.
35:22And now I'm here.
35:24About to face him.
35:25Thanks for coming, Ashi.
35:27Don't call me that.
35:28You said it was about the game.
35:30Championship is in three weeks.
35:33Coach is on everyone's ass about unity and focus.
35:35Without whatever's been happening
35:37between us getting in the way.
35:39Agreed.
35:40The team needs us functional.
35:42The deal I offered you before.
35:44The captaincy.
35:46That still stands, Ash.
35:48If you want it, I'll step back.
35:51Talk to Wellington myself.
35:52Why?
35:54After how I've treated you,
35:55after I ghosted you for four days.
35:58Why would you still offer that?
36:00Because I meant what I said.
36:02I didn't come here for a title.
36:05The captaincy was never the point.
36:08The captaincy.
36:09You earned it.
36:10And the team respects you.
36:13Ash.
36:14No.
36:15Let me finish.
36:17I was angry about it
36:19because it was easier than admitting
36:20what was really bothering me.
36:22It was about me being terrified
36:24of why I cared so much that you came back.
36:26So we're good?
36:28We can be professional?
36:30Yeah.
36:31I'm not gonna push you.
36:33Whatever you're going through,
36:34whatever you're figuring out,
36:35I'll wait.
36:36But I need you to know
36:37that what happened in your apartment
36:38wasn't nothing to me.
36:39It wasn't a mistake.
36:41I've been figuring things out
36:43about myself.
36:45About what I want.
36:47I'm not ready to talk about it yet.
36:48But I'm not running anymore.
36:51I'm trying.
36:52That's enough.
36:53That's all I need to know.
36:59We should go.
37:01Practice tomorrow.
37:03You need rest.
37:04See you at practice tomorrow, Eshi.
37:06Call me that again,
37:08and I'll check you into the boards.
37:09It's so hard,
37:11your grandchildren will feel it.
37:14There he is.
37:16Missed that fire.
37:18Tomorrow, I'll be there.
37:20Good.
37:21I'm glad you came today, Ash.
37:22I know it wasn't easy.
37:24Whatever you're figuring out,
37:25you don't have to do it alone.
37:27Okay?
37:34Almost a week of hiding in my apartment,
37:36of avoiding this exact moment,
37:38and now I'm back.
37:40I see him.
37:42Blaze is running through solo drills
37:43with that effortless grace
37:45that used to make me jealous.
37:49Carpenter!
37:50Wilson!
37:52You're paired up for offensive rotations.
37:55This is it.
37:56The test.
37:57The whistle blows.
37:59We move.
38:00We find rhythm.
38:01Not the awkward tension of our early practices.
38:05Not the hostile competition I forced between us.
38:08I know where Blaze is going to be before he gets there.
38:12He reads my positioning like he's inside my head.
38:16It's terrifying how natural it feels.
38:22Carpenter Wilson!
38:24We both freeze.
38:26I brace for criticism.
38:28Too aggressive.
38:29Too sloppy.
38:30Something.
38:31That.
38:33Right there.
38:34That's what I need from you two.
38:37Keep that energy,
38:38and we might actually have a shot at this championship.
38:41Not bad, Ashy.
38:43Almost like old times.
38:45Don't get cocky.
38:52I should look away.
38:55I know I should look away.
38:58I don't.
39:00I'm staring.
39:01I know I'm staring.
39:03Can't seem to stop.
39:05Our gazes lock across the locker room.
39:08The noise fades.
39:10Something is happening.
39:12I'm changing, shifting,
39:15becoming someone I don't fully recognize yet.
39:18And for the first time,
39:20that doesn't terrify me.
39:22Team dinners are supposed to be fun.
39:25Bonding before the championship push.
39:28So why does this one feel like walking into a minefield?
39:31You're staring at the menu like it personally offended you.
39:33Just trying to decide if I want a carb load
39:35or pretend I have self-control.
39:37Get the pasta.
39:39Championships in two weeks.
39:41You've earned carbs.
39:45Is that captain's orders?
39:47Consider it strong encouragement.
39:49Unless you need me to make it an order, Ashy.
39:52Don't start something you can't finish.
39:55Who says I can't finish it?
40:02I thought we could catch up.
40:04I feel like I've barely seen you lately.
40:06You've been busy.
40:08Yeah.
40:09Sorry about that.
40:11Practice has been intense.
40:13Championship prep.
40:15Right.
40:17Championship.
40:18That's actually what I wanted to talk about.
40:21Focus.
40:22Making sure we're all locked in on what matters.
40:24We're focused.
40:25Are we?
40:27Because I've noticed some distractions creeping in lately.
40:30Side projects.
40:31Extra practice sessions.
40:33I just want to make sure we're not losing sight of the goal.
40:36Two years I've had your back on that ice.
40:39You think chemistry like ours grows on trees?
40:42It takes work.
40:43It takes loyalty.
40:44I know what I'm doing.
40:46Do you?
40:47Because the Blaze I know wouldn't let anything get in the way of winning.
40:51That's what made us unstoppable.
41:01Hey, you okay?
41:04I'll be fine.
41:07Your friend's pretty territorial.
41:09He's just...
41:10He's intense about winning.
41:13That's all.
41:15Sure.
41:19This place is great.
41:22Yeah, the beer's perfect.
41:24Good dinner.
41:26Felt like old times.
41:28What the hell was that?
41:32What was what?
41:33Don't play dumb.
41:35The comments.
41:36The looks you were being an asshole to Asher all night.
41:39What happened to the plan?
41:41No distractions.
41:43No drama.
41:44Hockey first.
41:45Everything else second.
41:46That's what made us champions.
41:48We sacrificed everything.
41:50Turned down parties.
41:51Ignored girls.
41:52Put the team above all of it.
41:53And we got rewarded.
41:55Truffees.
41:57Scouts.
41:57A future.
41:58Now you're risking everything we built for some guy who still can't figure out which way he swings?
42:03You don't get to decide who I care about.
42:06Don't say I didn't warn you.
42:08When this blows up in your face, and it will, I won't be there to pick up the pieces.
42:16I stare at the screen.
42:18An uneasy feeling settling in my gut.
42:21Jackson's words are doing exactly what he intended.
42:25Making Asher doubt himself.
42:27Doubt us.
42:28Doubt everything we've been building.
42:30I'm starting to realize my best friend might be something else entirely.
42:35And Asher is paying the price for my blindness.
42:40Coach Wellington grants us extra ice time after regular practice.
42:45Just me and Blaze.
42:46Working on offensive plays that need polishing before the championship.
42:50Ready?
42:51It's the first time we've been truly alone since my apartment.
42:55Since the shower.
42:56I force myself to concentrate on footwork.
42:59On timing.
43:00But as the minutes stretch on, something shifts.
43:04The sound of Blaze's breathing, slightly elevated from exertion.
43:08The flash of his eyes when he catches my gaze across the ice.
43:12The way his body moves with effortless grace.
43:15Muscles coiling and releasing beneath his jersey.
43:22Asher, we should probably.
43:25Probably.
43:27I'm trying really hard to be patient here.
43:29To give you space.
43:30To let you figure things out on your own time life.
43:33I know.
43:35But you're making it really fucking difficult when you look at me like that.
43:39Like what?
43:40Like you want me to stop being patient.
43:44What if I do?
43:47What if I want you to stop being patient?
43:50Don't say that unless you mean it, Ashy.
43:52I mean it.
43:57Tell me to stop and I will.
44:02Not here.
44:03Not on the ice.
44:04I want...
44:05I want to do this right.
44:07Locker room.
44:11You sure about this?
44:14Because once we cross this line, I'm sure.
44:19I'm so fucking sure it scares me.
44:21Good scared or bad scared?
44:23Good scared.
44:24The best kind.
44:31Tonight I'm choosing this.
44:33Every touch, every kiss, every inch of skin pressed against skin.
44:37I'm choosing all of it.
44:38Hell, Ash.
44:39Do you have any idea how long I've wanted this?
44:41That night in your shower, I had to hold back.
44:43Didn't want to push you too far, but now...
44:45Don't hold back.
44:45I don't want you to hold back.
44:46I'm not.
44:50Tell me what you want.
44:51Tell me and I'll give it to you.
44:54Everything.
44:55I want everything.
45:09You're shaking.
45:10Good shaking.
45:12Don't stop.
45:14This is losing control completely.
45:17And trusting someone else to catch me.
45:31You okay?
45:35You okay?
45:36I'm okay.
45:41So, still think you're straight?
45:44Bugger off.
45:46That's not a no.
45:47That's a...
45:48You literally just had your hands all over me.
45:51What do you think?
45:53I think I need to hear you say it, Ashy.
45:56I'm not straight.
45:57I'm definitely, absolutely, 100% not straight.
46:02Was that so hard?
46:03Yes.
46:04But you made it easier.
46:06I don't want to run here.
46:09Come home with me.
46:11You don't have to do anything else.
46:13I just don't want this night to end yet.
46:15Yeah.
46:16Okay.
46:24Eyes on the road.
46:27Can't help it.
46:28You're distracting.
46:32That's becoming a theme.
46:38You still play?
46:39Every night, practically.
46:41You remember how badly I used to destroy you at Fusion Race?
46:44I told you, I'm not playing with you.
46:46What?
46:47You're scared?
46:51Remember when we snuck into that R-rated movie?
46:58Worth it.
47:00Your face during that jump scare was priceless.
47:02I thought you were going to cry.
47:03I did not almost cry.
47:05You absolutely did.
47:07Your lip was wobbling, Ashy.
47:22Morning.
47:24Morning.
47:26What time is it?
47:28Early.
47:29No practice today, remember?
47:31Right.
47:34Last night was nice.
47:36The games, the movies.
47:39Felt like old times.
47:41I missed this.
47:42Missed you.
47:43What are we now?
47:45What does this mean?
47:47All of it.
47:47The locker room, staying over.
47:49This?
47:50What do you want it to mean?
47:52I don't know.
47:53This is all new to me.
47:55Wanting someone like this, letting myself have it.
47:58Letting myself.
48:01Letting myself have you.
48:03You can have me, Ash.
48:04You've always had me.
48:06We don't have to define it right now.
48:08We can figure it out as we go.
48:09Keep it between us until after the championship.
48:12No pressure.
48:13No expectations.
48:14Just us.
48:16Yeah.
48:18Yeah.
48:18Okay.
48:19That works.
48:20Yeah.
48:21Popular this morning.
48:25Everything okay?
48:27Yeah.
48:28Yeah.
48:28Just Jackson.
48:29He really doesn't like me.
48:30He doesn't know you.
48:32He doesn't want to know me.
48:33He sees me as a threat.
48:36To your friendship, your partnership, whatever you two have.
48:42Whatever Jackson thinks he has claim on, he's wrong.
48:46Okay.
48:47I believe you.
48:54For the first time in weeks, I'm not dreading being here.
49:02Whatever you two figured out, keep doing it.
49:10My bad.
49:12Didn't see you there.
49:15You good, Ashy?
49:16Fine.
49:17Just a love tap.
49:20Gotta stay sharp, Carpenter.
49:22Championship is coming.
49:23No room for passengers.
49:25Watch your back out there.
49:34Carpenter!
49:36Jackson.
49:37Something you need?
49:39Just a conversation.
49:40Man to man.
49:41About Blaze.
49:42What's your problem, Jackson?
49:44My problem is you dragging the whole line down with your distractions.
49:46We're working on our game.
49:48Extra practices.
49:49Late nights.
49:50Cozy little sleepovers.
49:52Right.
49:53The championship.
49:55You know what's waiting for Blaze after this season?
49:59Pro contracts.
50:00Seven figures.
50:01His face on jerseys.
50:03His name tranted in arenas across the country.
50:05Legacy shit.
50:07Scouts are already talking.
50:08Five, six year deals.
50:11Endorsements.
50:11A career most players would kill for.
50:13And you think I'm going to stand by while some lovesick nobody tanks all of that?
50:17I'm not a bench reader.
50:18You're a distraction.
50:19I've watched Blaze for three years.
50:21I know him better than anyone.
50:22And I've never seen him lose focus like this.
50:24Missing workouts.
50:25Skipping team hangouts.
50:27Walking around with that stupid smile on his face like a lovesick teenager.
50:30That's because of you.
50:31And it needs to stop.
50:32Blaze can make his own decision.
50:35Blaze is being scouted for the majors.
50:36And they don't want a liability like you attached to him.
50:39He transferred across the country for you, Carpenter.
50:42Did he tell you that?
50:44Stay away from him.
50:46Or I'll end your career myself.
50:50Do we understand each other?
50:55What if Jackson is right?
50:56What if I'm the thing standing Blaze in everything he's worked for?
51:00Missed you after practice?
51:01Dinner later?
51:02Can't tonight?
51:03Tired?
51:03Rain check?
51:06Yeah.
51:07Just need sleep.
51:08See you at practice.
51:11Stay away from him.
51:15Maybe Jackson's is right.
51:16Maybe I've always been the problem.
51:28Hey, you didn't answer my text last night.
51:31Everything okay?
51:32Fine.
51:33Just tired.
51:35Ash!
51:36Professor's starting.
51:37We should pay attention.
51:43Asher, wait!
51:53Carpenter, Wilson, what the hell happened to your coordination?
51:57You look like strangers out there.
51:59Sorry, Coach.
52:01Won't happen again.
52:02If better not, championships in 12 days.
52:05I need you two functioning, not whatever this is.
52:09Rough practice, huh?
52:11Don't worry about it.
52:12Carpenter's always been inconsistent.
52:14That's why you have me.
52:15He was fine two days ago.
52:17Was he?
52:18Maybe you just saw what you wanted to see.
52:20Happens when you get too close to someone.
52:22Clouds your judgment.
52:27Remember our first championship?
52:28Junior year?
52:29We were unstoppable.
52:30You, me.
52:31Perfect simp on the ice.
52:33No distractions, no drama.
52:35Just two guys who knew exactly how to win.
52:36I remember.
52:44I remember.
52:46That's what made us special.
52:47We understand each other.
52:49Always have.
52:50We don't need words or explanations.
52:51We just know.
52:53That's rare, man.
52:54You don't throw that away for someone who runs hot and cold every other day.
52:57What did you do?
52:59What do you mean?
52:59Asher was fine before yesterday.
53:01Now he won't look at me.
53:03What did you say to him?
53:05Nothing.
53:07I haven't talked to Carpenter.
53:08Why would I?
53:09If you did some, Blaze.
53:11We've been brothers for three years.
53:13I've had your back through everything.
53:15And you're accusing me of sabotage because some guy you've known for a few weeks is having a mood swing?
53:21That's not the Blaze I know.
53:23Look, I know you care about him.
53:25Whatever history you two have, it obviously means something to you.
53:27But the championship is in less than two weeks.
53:30Pro Scouts are watching.
53:31Futures are on the line.
53:32Don't let emotions derail everything we've worked for.
53:34That's all I'm saying.
53:35I need to find Ashen.
53:36We'll talk later.
53:45Blaze, hold up.
53:46Team's doing beers tonight.
53:47You in?
53:48I'll pass.
53:50You sure?
53:51You've been MIA lately.
53:53Guys are starting to talk.
53:56Jackson knows exactly which buttons to push.
53:59He's been watching, calculating, waiting for the right moment to strike.
54:02Jackson doesn't see Ashler as a person.
54:04He sees him as a threat.
54:05An obstacle to be removed.
54:06A distraction to be eliminated so things can go back to the way they were.
54:10And I'm terrified he's already succeeded.
54:13I can't sleep.
54:14I've been lying in bed for hours, staring at the ceiling.
54:18Distraction.
54:18Bench weeder.
54:20Childhood crush.
54:21Pathetic.
54:23I shouldn't do this.
54:24I know I shouldn't.
54:26But my fingers hit enter before I can stop myself.
54:29Page after page of evidence that Blaze Wilson is everything Jackson said he was, and more.
54:35Transferred across the country for you.
54:37Gave a guaranteed sting spot because he couldn't let go of some pathetic childhood crush.
54:41Blaze left a ranking program.
54:43Left a clear path to the pros.
54:45And me?
54:46I'm the variable that doesn't fit.
54:48The distraction that showed up and threw everything off balance.
54:51Three years on a team that's never made it past region X.
54:53Solid numbers, sure, but nothing remarkable.
54:56I love him.
54:57The realization crashes over me, sudden and devastating.
55:01And because I love him, I have to do the one thing that feels impossible.
55:09Together.
55:10The word blurs through the tears I refuse to let fall.
55:14Need some space.
55:15Focus on the championship.
55:17I'm fine.
55:24I think about the boy who came back for me after ten years, and I wonder if I'm strong enough
55:29to let him go.
55:30I love him.
55:32That has to be enough.
55:33I love him.
55:34I love him.
55:36I love him.
55:40I love him.
55:46I love him.
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