00:07a package wait what's in it a new blouse a new bag underwear that doesn't go all the way up
00:14to
00:14your waist it is an antique washboard oh isn't she a beaut it's gonna help maddie and me win
00:27the mother-daughter challenge at jessop's pioneer trail this weekend uh is that that woodsy place
00:33that maddie and i used to go to on field trips where the highlight was going to the bathroom
00:37while sitting on a log yep maddie and i have been doing this challenge for the last four years
00:45you camp in the woods and live like people did in the 1800s are you being punished
00:55the most successful mother-daughter team wins the golden butter churn and gets to lord it over
01:01the other ladies for the entire year yeah this is just a picture because mom and i've never really
01:06won it well one of us always seems to get leprosy or fall into a wolverine nest before we get
01:11enough
01:11points and by one of us i mean maddie mom i can see and hear you
01:22this isn't gonna be one of those things that you drag me to is
01:33why are we laughing with so funny mommy going with you are you inviting me or not
01:39live this is rough and tumble outdoorsy living of course we're not inviting you
01:46how dare she not invite me oh sure it sounds gross and dirty and stupid but she should have at
01:52least
01:53asked then i could have turned her down and left in her face you wouldn't survive a day
02:07i'm up with the sunshine i lace up my hot top i'm slam dunk ready or not yeah show me
02:16what you got
02:17i'm under the spotlight i dare you come on and follow you dance to your own beat i'll sing the
02:27melody
02:27when you say yeah i say no when you say stop all i wanna do is go go go
02:38you you never have to leave me the half i'll never be the half that drives me crazy
02:48you you never have to leave me the half i'll always be
02:54eating but we both know we're better in stereo
03:03mom mom mom i got lunch
03:08what is it i don't know it all went down pretty quick
03:13this is wakefield put us on the scoreboard
03:19Looks like Team Rooney are the eager beavers this year.
03:23Nature pun intended.
03:26Ready.
03:30I am here for the mother-daughter weekend.
03:35Who is ready to get their pioneer party on?
03:39Oh, honey, what are you doing here?
03:42I thought this wasn't your kind of thing.
03:43Yeah, and besides, Mom and I are already doing this together, and it's only teams of two.
03:49Oh, I know.
03:50That's why I went out and rustled up a mom.
03:54A mom?
03:57What are you talking about?
03:59Oh, I'm just talking about Brie Dumont.
04:02Brie?
04:03Brie Dumont is the actress who played my mom on Sing It Loud.
04:08She's a triple threat.
04:09Gorgine, Fab Smash, and Rockadiculous.
04:13Oh, there she is now.
04:17Hey, girls.
04:20Pioneer Brie, reporting to the prairie.
04:24Oops, forgot to lock my horse.
04:36Okay, buddy.
04:38Women folk are out camping.
04:39Dad is out golfing.
04:41And that means we have all day to do whatever we want.
04:45Way out of you, dude.
04:46Why do you think I'm eating a rib with my foot?
04:52As impressed with that as I am.
04:56I've got bigger plans.
04:59Me like eating a drumstick with my foot.
05:06Okay, buddy.
05:07I am talking about a way to make cold, hard cash.
05:11You have my full attention.
05:13Don't waste this moment.
05:15Live Rooney Residential Tour.
05:18For a small fee, members of the local Sing It Loud fan club can see where their favorite teen idol
05:23eats, sleeps, and obsessively flosses.
05:28I've been collecting her empty shampoo bottles and toenail clippings.
05:32Can you say gift shop?
05:36I knew I'd cash in on how creepy you were one of these days.
05:41Wipe that sauce off your foot.
05:43The tour shows up in an hour.
05:47Hey, guys.
05:51Golf got canceled.
05:53Bummer for me.
05:54But, we could spend the weekend together now for a little father-son bonding time.
06:03Yay!
06:06So, while Maddie's off skinning lunch,
06:12why don't we catch up?
06:15Bree, it is so good of you to come and support Liv on such short notice.
06:20Well, Karen, when my TV daughter called, I just canceled everything on my schedule to be here.
06:28Just one of those situations where I had to drop a butt bomb of mom on it.
06:34Drop a butt bomb of mom on it is something I used to say.
06:39Bree heard it and turned it into her TV character's catchphrase.
06:44Since then, she's made a fortune dropping a butt bomb of mom on cookbooks, workout videos, and yogurt that keeps
06:52you young.
06:53I haven't said it since.
06:56I really miss the butt bomb.
06:58Well, Mom.
07:00Yes, sugar?
07:01What's the sweet...
07:04Oh, wow.
07:07This is awkward, isn't it?
07:11I haven't really thought of that.
07:15So, we should probably go set up our tent.
07:17And I'll, uh, see you around the campfire, Karen?
07:28All right, we have got to think fast.
07:30The girls coming for the Liv Ruined Residential Tour will be here any minute.
07:34And Dad is acting like he owns the place.
07:40He sort of does.
07:43We need a project that will keep Dad busy.
07:49What are you doing, Munch?
07:51You know how strict mom is about what goes in the disposal?
07:54That's gonna break it.
08:01Shove it in.
08:02Shove it all in.
08:20Dad, something's wrong with the disposal.
08:23You need to fix it.
08:26This is perfect.
08:28You know how Dad takes forever to do pretty much anything.
08:33What would you do?
08:36You know how strict your mom is about what goes in the disposal?
08:41Yep.
08:44It's jammed up real good.
08:47You can fix it, though, right, Dad?
08:49Course he can.
08:51Our father's a man's man.
08:53He can fix anything.
08:56Oh, yeah, looks like it's time for Pete to get his old plumber on.
09:12Greetings, lovers of Liv and all things Rooney.
09:18Welcome to the Liv Rooney Residential Tour.
09:24And gift shop.
09:29You must be very careful not to disturb any of the other residents.
09:33And we're walking, and we're walking, and we're walking.
09:49It's like taking candy from, uh, Arnie.
10:00Oh, my late arrivals.
10:03Welcome to the best place on Earth.
10:06The past.
10:10Time to turn in all modern-day devices.
10:14Oh, dear.
10:22So, exactly how, like, modern are we talking?
10:27Plus, uh, I mean, my phone's pretty old.
10:29I think I've had it for at least, like, six months.
10:33Well, if the pioneers didn't have it, neither can you.
10:44And don't forget your hairbrushes.
10:49We're pioneers, not animals.
10:53On the frontier, women would whittle hair-grooming tools made out of leftover firewood.
11:00Here's a comb.
11:08My babies.
11:11Don't worry, sugar.
11:13Everyone has their price.
11:15How about I trade you that curling iron for a sound copy of a very butt-bomb Christmas?
11:23Oh, Liv, honey.
11:25We should talk.
11:26I'm starting to wonder if you're upset that I didn't invite you.
11:31Why, ever would you think that?
11:35You brought in a substitute mom from the other side of the country.
11:39It's kind of a red flag.
11:42Oh, yeah, maybe you're right, Mom.
11:45Maybe I am a little bit upset.
11:47Maybe now I will beat you at your own game.
11:52As the pioneers would say,
11:54I bet you good day.
12:05This changes nothing!
12:15Right this way, ladies.
12:18And now, to our left, the highlight of the tour,
12:21Liv Rooney's Sleeping Chamber.
12:26Please do not disturb Liv's side of the room.
12:30But feel free to stand on the unfamous twins' bed and take a picture.
12:42It's exactly how I imagined it.
12:48Urban princess contemporary.
12:55How much to get me past the velvet rope?
13:00Sorry, Artie.
13:01That is off-limits.
13:03Ten bucks.
13:04I'll give you twenty if I can have a diva moment.
13:10Deal.
13:12I really want to see this.
13:21Are you sure this is a good idea?
13:23Parker, I'm not sure any of this is a good idea.
13:31Ready?
13:34Ready?
13:37Ready?
13:38Ready?
13:38Ready?
13:49I really want to make fun of that.
13:53It was nothing short of magnificent.
14:02We have been at this for three hours.
14:05How long does it take to churn butter?
14:08Well, obviously, it takes at least three hours.
14:13I'm sorry, Brie.
14:14I just...
14:15I really want one of those bark necklace thingies.
14:20Okay, let's check.
14:31In your face, let it move!
14:40You...
14:41You saw that, right?
14:42We're still going to get credit for that?
14:44No.
14:46But, we do have a winner in the wood chopping competition.
14:51Congratulations, Team Rooney!
14:55Yes!
14:58The secret is to really hate the wood.
15:05Mom, this is finally our year.
15:08I mean, we are so far ahead, we've got that golden butter churn all locked up.
15:13Well, unless we do something dumb.
15:15And by we, I mean you.
15:16So, don't touch anything.
15:19Hey, I hear you, Mom.
15:22So, here is to the golden butter churn.
15:29Maddie Rooney, did you just take a nice, long drink of water to avoid dehydration?
15:36Yes, ma'am.
15:38Then you're dead!
15:46Oh, wait, hold on.
15:48I boiled this water.
15:49No, no, no, no.
15:50You boiled that water.
15:53Oops.
15:57But we were going to win this year.
15:59We're bringing out the dead!
16:04No, Mom, I have been so careful.
16:06You know what?
16:07We are so far ahead, you can do this on your own.
16:10You win that golden butter churn for both of us!
16:13You keep this dream alive!
16:18Let's prepare the body for the viewing.
16:26Amazing grass, how sweet.
16:34And then Liv's character was like, oh no, you didn't.
16:37And then the back girl was like, oh yes, I did.
16:40And then, they had an angry dance-off.
16:43It was like, oots, oots, oots, oots, oots, oots, oots, oots, oots, oots, oots, oots.
16:47Party, party, party, party.
16:50Party.
16:50That is enough.
16:51Get off the bed.
16:55Fine.
16:57And then they made up and became best friends
17:02All right, people
17:04Please direct your attention to the window seat
17:07Where you will find every stuffed animal Liv has ever played with
17:11Also available for purchase
17:15Do I have to pay for the ones I gave her?
17:19Not answering that question
17:21Until you return the gum you took from under her desk
17:36Hey, boys, you up there?
17:38Dad's coming. Everybody hide
17:40I mean, to the shoe closet
17:45All right, people
17:46And we're moving
17:47And we're moving
17:48And we're moving faster
17:50So let it move faster
17:57Hey
17:57What are you doing in Liv in Maddie's room?
18:00We just miss them so much
18:07And why are there stuffed animals down from the attic?
18:12We missed them, too
18:18Well, the garbage disposal's fried
18:20I have to go to the hardware store to get a new one
18:22Yeah, you're a real man's man
18:28I'll see you later
18:29Hey, do me a favor
18:31Put those stuffed animals back in the attic
18:34They're creepy
18:37Oh, thanks for bitching the water, Liv
18:46You missed a wonderful wake
18:52Yeah, now with Maddie out of the game
18:54We might actually have a chance of beating Mom
18:58She did have to trade in all her firewood for funeral flowers
19:04Oh, Bree
19:05I'm so proud of us
19:07I mean, first
19:08We create butter out of nothing but thin air
19:13Okay, well
19:14Five gallons of milk and three hours of labor
19:16But still, we made butter
19:18And now
19:19We are getting our clothes
19:23Squeaky clean
19:27With nothing
19:30But dirty rocks
19:34And soap that I'm pretty sure is burning my skin off
19:38And if I do say so myself
19:41I have dropped a butt bomb
19:43A pioneer mom on this here log home
19:47Ow
19:49Ow
19:51Ow
19:51Ow
19:52Ow
19:52Ow
19:52Ow
19:55Ow
19:56I actually took a little break
19:57And cooled my toes off in the stream
19:59And it was so refreshing
20:00That it made my feet tingle
20:01Here you go, girl
20:04Are those witches?
20:06Ah
20:07Ah
20:08Peaches
20:08Real life
20:10Peaches
20:10Get these blood-sucking slugs off of me
20:13Bree
20:13Do something
20:15Get off, related
20:17Shoo
20:19Shoo
20:20Come on, Bree
20:21This is where you drop a butt bomb
20:23A bomb on it
20:25Oh, honey
20:26I'm not your mom
20:27Don't take this the wrong way
20:29But I'm out of here
20:32Is there a right way to take that?
20:46And as we conclude the tour
20:49Oh, this is a rare sight
20:53Live Rooney's real-life father
20:57Don't disturb him
20:58We'll go out the back
21:01No way
21:02I was promised a full tour
21:04My holiday card will have a picture of me in every room in this house
21:11Fine
21:11Just wait here one second
21:13Hey, Pops
21:14What you up to?
21:16While I was at the hardware store, I picked up an alarm system
21:19People would pay to get in here
21:22Take your eyes off this box
21:27I've never been more interested
21:28Hold still, Joey
21:30I'm setting the motion detector
21:32Any movement will trip the alarm
21:38A lock activated
21:40Twelve intruders detected
21:42What's wrong with this thing?
21:44Well
21:45Well, I know
21:46It's just so exciting
21:48I can't stand still
21:54A lock deactivated
21:56House secure
21:59I thought I told you to put those creepy things back up in the attic
22:05I thought I did
22:07You don't think they came down on their own, do you?
22:15If I sing about leeches
22:17Maybe they'll go away
22:18La la la la la la la la la leeches
22:27I just saw Bree running and screaming down the trail
22:34I thought you might need help
22:35Well, I can't imagine why you would think that
22:38I have never been better
22:40I have leeches, Mom
22:41I've got the leeches
22:44Oh, yes
22:45You have leeches
22:46Well, lucky for you
22:48Every good mom keeps a
22:49Credit card handy
22:51In case of an emergency
22:58Yet another reason to love credit cards
23:06Karen Rooney
23:07Pioneer women did not carry credit cards
23:13You are disqualified
23:15Please surrender your bonnet
23:19Oh, no, Mom
23:21You have horrible bonnet head
23:24Oh, she's not wrong
23:28You look like a bison
23:34Liv, you are the last Rooney standing
23:38I couldn't be prouder of you
23:41You're our last chance
23:42To bring home the golden butter churn
23:45I don't care about some stupid golden butter churn
23:49I just wanted to spend time with my mom
23:51Oh, thank you
23:54You are talking about me, right?
23:58I guess I just got a little bit jealous
24:01With all of you and Maddie's mother-daughter time
24:03And I just wanted some from me
24:05Well, for the record
24:06I never scrape leeches off of Maddie's legs
24:09Thanks for taking care of me
24:13You are one butt-bomb-a-mom
24:21Mama got her butt-bomb back
24:23Boom!
24:25Trapped
24:29You have no idea how good it feels to be clean
24:33You have to work extra hard to scrub leech slime off of your fingers
24:40Well, welcome home, Mom
24:42While you were away, Dad did some manly things
24:49Including upgrading your garbage disposal
24:52You broke it, didn't you?
24:53Not the point
24:55Pete, are you sure you know how to install a garbage disposal?
24:59Not the point
25:02You should try it
25:03It works great
25:04We tested it with all the leftovers in the fridge
25:06That we couldn't even get Parker to eat
25:32This is why we have strict rules about what goes into the disposal
25:47I gotta hand it to you, Munch
25:49You came up with a ridiculous idea
25:51And you made it work
25:53The best part is, nobody found out
25:59You two are so busted
26:04We're sorry
26:05We shouldn't
26:09What do you know?
26:12Oh, just that you completely space-invaded me?
26:17If you are going to use my favorite hairbrush to brush out a clown wig
26:22At least remove the nasty orange hair when you're done
26:29Yeah, you got us
26:31We were stealing brushes and coming clown wids all weekend
26:38Totally busted
26:40Just don't let it happen again
26:48I'll give you twenty bucks if you can get me that brush
26:51You gotta have to take me that brush
26:51I'll give you thirty bucks if you have no links
26:52I'll give you a half amet Sally
26:54I'll give you a mucha
26:55Yeah where we are
26:55To build yourselferte
26:55Henry You've
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