00:07a package wait what's in it a new blouse a new bag underwear that doesn't go all the way up
00:14to
00:14your waist it is an antique washboard oh isn't she a beaut it's gonna help maddie and me win
00:27the mother-daughter challenge at jessop's pioneer trail this weekend uh is that that woodsy place
00:33that maddie and i used to go to on field trips where the highlight was going to the bathroom
00:37while sitting on a log yep maddie and i have been doing this challenge for the last four years
00:45you camp in the woods and live like people did in the 1800s are you being punished
00:55the most successful mother-daughter team wins the golden butter churn and gets to lord it over
01:01the other ladies for the entire year yeah this is just a picture because mom and i've never really
01:06won it well one of us always seems to get leprosy or fall into a wolverine nest before we get
01:11enough
01:11points and by one of us i mean maddie mom i can see and hear you
01:22this isn't gonna be one of those things that you drag me to is
01:33why are we laughing with so funny mommy going with you are you inviting me or not
01:39live this is rough and tumble outdoorsy living of course we're not inviting you
01:46how dare she not invite me oh sure it sounds gross and dirty and stupid but she should have at
01:52least
01:53asked then i could have turned her down and left in her face you wouldn't survive a day
02:07i'm up with the sunshine i lace up my hot top i'm slam dunk ready or not yeah show me
02:16what you got
02:17i'm under the spotlight i dare you come on and follow you dance to your own beat i'll sing the
02:27melody
02:27when you say yeah i say no when you say stop all i wanna do is go go go
02:38you you never have to leave me the half i'll never be the half that drives me crazy
02:48you you never have to leave me the half i'll always be
02:54in the way we both know we're better in stereo
03:03mom mom mom i got lunch
03:08what is it i don't know it all went down pretty quick
03:13this is wakefield put us on the school board
03:19Looks like Team Rooney are the eager beavers this year.
03:23Nature pun intended.
03:26Ready.
03:30I am here for the mother-daughter weekend.
03:35Who is ready to get their pioneer party on?
03:39Oh, honey, what are you doing here?
03:42I thought this wasn't your kind of thing.
03:43Yeah, and besides, Mom and I are already doing this together and it's only teams of two.
03:49Oh, I know.
03:50That's why I went out and rustled up a mom.
03:54A mom?
03:57What are you talking about?
03:59Oh, I'm just talking about Brie Dumont.
04:02Brie?
04:03Brie Dumont is the actress who played my mom on Sing It Loud.
04:08She's a triple threat.
04:09Gorgine, Fab Smash, and Rockadiculous.
04:13Oh, there she is now.
04:17Hey, girls.
04:20Pioneer Brie, reporting to the prairie.
04:24Oops, forgot to lock my horse.
04:36Okay, buddy.
04:38Women folk are out camping.
04:39Dad is out golfing.
04:41And that means we have all day to do whatever we want.
04:45Way out of you, dude.
04:46Why do you think I'm eating a rib with my foot?
04:52As impressed with that as I am.
04:56I've got bigger plans.
04:59Me like eating a drumstick with my foot.
05:06Okay, buddy.
05:07I am talking about a way to make cold, hard cash.
05:11You have my full attention.
05:13Don't waste this moment.
05:15Live Rooney Residential Tour.
05:18For a small fee, members of the local Sing It Loud fan club can see where their favorite teen idol
05:23eats, sleeps, and obsessively flosses.
05:28I've been collecting her empty shampoo bottles and toenail clippings.
05:32Can you say gift shop?
05:36I knew I'd cash in on how creepy you were one of these days.
05:41Wipe that sauce off your foot.
05:43The tour shows up in an hour.
05:47Hey, guys.
05:51Golf got canceled.
05:53Bummer for me.
05:54But, we could spend the weekend together now for a little father-son bonding time.
06:03Yay!
06:06So, while Maddie's off skinning lunch,
06:12why don't we catch up?
06:15Bree, it is so good of you to come and support Liv on such short notice.
06:20Well, Karen, when my TV daughter called, I just canceled everything on my schedule to be here.
06:28Just one of those situations where I had to drop a butt bomb of mom on it.
06:34Drop a butt bomb of mom on it is something I used to say.
06:39Bree heard it and turned it into her TV character's catchphrase.
06:44Since then, she's made a fortune dropping a butt bomb of mom on cookbooks, workout videos, and yogurt that keeps
06:52you young.
06:53I haven't said it since.
06:56I really missed the butt bomb.
06:58Well, mom.
07:00Yes, sugar?
07:01What, sweetie?
07:01Oh.
07:04Oh, wow.
07:07This is awkward, isn't it?
07:11I hadn't really thought of that.
07:15So, we should probably go set up our tent,
07:18and I'll see you around the campfire, Karen.
07:28All right, we have got to think fast.
07:30The girls coming for the Liv Rooney Residential Tour will be here any minute,
07:34and Dad is acting like he owns the place.
07:40He sort of does.
07:43We need a project that will keep Dad busy.
07:49What are you doing, Munch?
07:51You know how strict mom is about what goes in the disposal.
07:54That's going to break it.
08:01Shove it in.
08:02Shove it all in.
08:20Dad, something's wrong with the disposal.
08:23You need to fix it.
08:26This is perfect.
08:28You know how Dad takes forever to do pretty much anything.
08:33What would you do?
08:36You know how strict your mom is about what goes in the disposal?
08:41Yeah.
08:44It's jammed up real good.
08:47You can fix it, though, right, Dad?
08:49Of course he can.
08:51Our father's a man's man.
08:53He can fix anything.
08:56Oh, yeah.
08:57Looks like it's time for Pete to get his old plumber on.
09:12Greetings, lovers of Liv and all things Rooney.
09:18Welcome to the Liv Rooney Residential Tour.
09:24And gift shop.
09:29You must be very careful not to disturb any of the other residents.
09:33And we're walking, and we're walking, and we're walking, and we're walking.
09:48It's like taking candy from, uh, Arnie.
10:00Oh, my late arrivals.
10:03Welcome to the best place on Earth.
10:06The past.
10:10Time to turn in all modern-day devices.
10:14Oh, dear.
10:22So, exactly how, like, modern are we talking?
10:27Plus, uh, I mean, my phone's pretty old.
10:29I think I've had it for at least, like, six months.
10:33Well, if the pioneers didn't have it, neither can you.
10:44And don't forget your hairbrushes.
10:49We're pioneers, not animals.
10:53On the frontier, women would whittle hair-grooming tools made out of leftover firewood.
11:00Here's a comb.
11:08My babies.
11:11Don't worry, sugar.
11:13Everyone has their price.
11:15How about I trade you that curling iron for a sound copy of a very butt-bomb Christmas?
11:23Oh, Liv, honey.
11:25We should talk.
11:26I'm starting to wonder if you're upset that I didn't invite you.
11:31Why, ever would you think that?
11:35You brought in a substitute mom from the other side of the country.
11:39It's kind of a red flag.
11:42Oh, yeah, maybe you're right, Mom.
11:45Maybe I am a little bit upset.
11:47Maybe now I will beat you at your own game.
11:52As the pioneers would say,
11:54I bet you good day.
12:05This changes nothing!
12:15Right this way, ladies.
12:18And now, to our left, the highlight of the tour,
12:21Liv Rooney's Sleeping Chamber.
12:26Please do not disturb Liv's side of the room.
12:30But feel free to stand on the unfamous twins' bed and take a picture.
12:42It's exactly how I imagined it.
12:48Urban princess contemporary.
12:55How much to get me past the velvet rope?
13:00Sorry, Artie.
13:01That is off-limits.
13:03Ten bucks.
13:04I'll give you twenty if I can have a diva moment.
13:10Deal.
13:12I really want to see this.
13:21Are you sure this is a good idea?
13:23Parker, I'm not sure any of this is a good idea.
13:31Ready?
13:34Ready?
13:37Ready?
13:38Ready?
13:38Ready?
13:49I really want to make fun of that.
13:53It was nothing short of magnificent.
14:02We have been at this for three hours.
14:05How long does it take to churn butter?
14:08Well, obviously, it takes at least three hours.
14:13I'm sorry, Brie.
14:14I just...
14:15I really want one of those bark necklace thingies.
14:20Okay, let's check.
14:31In your face, let it move!
14:40You...
14:41You saw that, right?
14:42We're still going to get credit for that?
14:44No.
14:46But, we do have a winner in the wood chopping competition.
14:51Congratulations, Team Rooney!
14:55Yes!
14:58The secret is to really hate the wood.
15:05Mom, this is finally our year.
15:08I mean, we are so far ahead, we've got that golden butter churn all locked up.
15:13Well, unless we do something dumb.
15:15And by we, I mean you.
15:16So, don't touch anything.
15:19Hey, I hear you, Mom.
15:22So, here is to the golden butter churn.
15:29Maddie Rooney, did you just take a nice, long drink of water to avoid dehydration?
15:36Yes, ma'am.
15:38Then you're dead!
15:46Oh, wait, hold on.
15:48I boiled this water.
15:49No, no, no, no.
15:50You boiled that water.
15:53Oops.
15:57But we were going to win this year.
15:59We're bringing out the dead!
16:04No, Mom, I have been so careful.
16:06You know what?
16:07We are so far ahead, you can do this on your own.
16:10You win that golden butter churn for both of us!
16:13You keep this dream alive!
16:18Let's prepare the body for the viewing.
16:26Amazing grass, how sweet.
16:34And then Liv's character was like, oh, no, you didn't.
16:37And then the back girl was like, oh, yes, I did.
16:40And then they had an angry dance-off.
16:43It was like, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs,
16:48oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs,
16:50oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs, oofs
17:15Do I have to pay for the ones I gave her?
17:19Not answering that question until you return the gum you took from under her desk.
17:36Hey, boys, you up there?
17:38Dad's coming. Everybody hide.
17:40I mean, to the shoe closet.
17:45All right, people, and we're moving, and we're moving, and we're moving faster, so that means move faster.
17:57Hey, what are you doing to live in Maddie's room?
18:00We just miss them so much.
18:07And why are there stuffed animals down from the attic?
18:13We missed them, too.
18:18Well, the garbage disposal's fried. I have to go to the hardware store to get a new one.
18:23Yeah, you're a real man's man.
18:28I'll see you later.
18:29Hey, do me a favor. Put those stuffed animals back in the attic.
18:34They're creepy.
18:42Oh, thanks for bitching the water, Liv.
18:46You missed a wonderful wake.
18:53Yeah, and now with Maddie out of the game, we might actually have a chance of beating Mom.
18:57Um, she did have to trade in all her firewoods for funeral flowers.
19:04Oh, Brie, I'm so proud of us.
19:07I mean, first, we create butter out of nothing but thin air.
19:13Okay, well, five gallons of milk and three hours of labor, but still, we made butter.
19:18And now, we are getting our clothes squeaky clean.
19:27With nothing but dirty rocks.
19:34And silk that I'm pretty sure is burning my skin off.
19:38And if I do say so myself, I have dropped a butt bomb, a pioneer mom, on this here log
19:45home.
19:47Ow.
19:49Ow!
19:51Ow!
19:55I actually took a little break and cooled my toes off in the stream, and it was so refreshing that
20:00it made my feet tingle.
20:02Here you go, girl.
20:04Are those witches?
20:06Ah!
20:08Pinchess!
20:09Real life, Pinchess!
20:11Get these blood-sucking slugs off of me, Brie!
20:14Do something!
20:15Get off, Related!
20:17Shoot!
20:18Shoot!
20:20Come on, Brie!
20:22This is where you drop a butt bomb on it!
20:25Oh, honey, I'm not your mom.
20:27Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm out of here.
20:32Is there a right way to take that?
20:46And as we conclude the tour...
20:50Oh, this is a rare sight.
20:53Live Rooney's real-life father.
20:57Don't disturb him.
20:59We'll go out the back.
21:01No way!
21:02I was promised a full tour.
21:05My holiday card will have a picture of me in every room in this house.
21:11Fine.
21:12Just wait here one second.
21:13Hey, Pops, what you up to?
21:15While I was at the hardware store, I picked up an alarm system.
21:19People would pay to get in here.
21:22Take your eyes off this box.
21:27I've never been more interested.
21:29Hold still, Joey.
21:30I'm setting the motion detector.
21:32Any movement will trip the alarm.
21:41What's wrong with this thing?
21:44Well, well, I know it's just so excited, I can't stand still.
21:54A lock deactivated.
21:56House secure.
21:59I thought I told you to put those creepy things back up in the attic.
22:05I thought I did.
22:07You don't think they came down on their own, do you?
22:15If I sing about leeches, maybe they'll go away.
22:18La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, leeches.
22:26Oh, get over me, leeches.
22:31I just saw Brie running and screaming down the trail.
22:34I thought you might need help.
22:36Well, I can't imagine why you would think that.
22:38I have never been better.
22:40I have leeches, Mom.
22:41I've got the leeches.
22:44Oh, yes, you have leeches.
22:46Well, lucky for you, every good mom keeps a credit card handy in case of an emergency.
22:53Oh, my goodness.
22:58Yet another reason to love credit cards.
23:06Karen Rooney, Pioneer Women did not carry credit cards.
23:13You are disqualified.
23:15Please surrender your bonnet.
23:20Oh, no, Mom.
23:22You have horrible bonnet head.
23:26Oh, she's not wrong.
23:28You look like a bison.
23:35Liv, you are the last Rooney standing.
23:38I couldn't be prouder of you.
23:41You're our last chance to bring home the golden butter churn.
23:45I don't care about some stupid golden butter churn.
23:49I just wanted to spend time with my mom.
23:52Oh, thank you.
23:54You are talking about me, right?
23:58I guess I just got a little bit jealous with all of you and Maddie's mother-daughter time,
24:03and I just wanted some for me.
24:05Well, for the record,
24:06I never scrape leeches off of Maddie's legs.
24:11Thanks for taking care of me.
24:14You are one butt-bomb-a-mom.
24:21Mama got her butt-bomb back.
24:23Boom!
24:25Drop.
24:29You have no idea how good it feels to be clean.
24:33You have to work extra hard to scrub leech slime off of your fingers.
24:40Well, welcome home, Mom.
24:43While you were away,
24:44Dad did some manly things.
24:49Including upgrading your garbage disposal.
24:52You broke it, didn't you?
24:53Not the point.
24:55Pete, are you sure you know how to install a garbage disposal?
24:59Not the point.
25:02You should try it.
25:03It works great.
25:04We tested it with all the leftovers in the fridge
25:06that we couldn't even get Parker to eat.
25:32This is why we have strict rules
25:35about what goes into the disposal.
25:47I've got to hand it to you, Munch.
25:49You came up with a ridiculous idea,
25:51and you made it work.
25:54The best part is,
25:55nobody found out.
25:59You two are so busted!
26:04We're sorry.
26:06We shouldn't...
26:09What do you know?
26:12Oh, just that you completely space-invaded me?
26:16No.
26:17If you are going to use my favorite hairbrush
26:20to brush out a clown wig,
26:22at least remove the nasty orange hair
26:25when you're done.
26:29Yeah, you got us.
26:31We were stealing brushes
26:33and coming clown wids all weekend.
26:37Totally busted.
26:40Just don't let it happen again.
26:48I'll give you 20 bucks
26:49if you can get me that brush.
26:51I'll give you 20 bucks.
26:53And then I'll give for you 20 bucks.
26:53You're gonna make me pay...
26:54I'll give you 20 bucks.
26:56I'll give you 20 bucks.
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