#video #Broad Trip 2026
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00:15Excuse me, are you Alice Anderson, daughter of Jeannie Anderson?
00:00:20Yeah, I mean yes, that's me.
00:00:23I'm actually supposed to be picking her up right now.
00:00:26It's kind of our thing, family tradition, you know.
00:00:28I pick her up when she travels and she picks me up and...
00:00:32Is she in trouble?
00:00:33I'd say so.
00:00:34Did she fly with an illegal animal again?
00:00:36No.
00:00:37Did she threaten to start a dance party in the aisles of the plane if she got cut off?
00:00:40Because normally she is joking.
00:00:41No.
00:00:42Please tell me she didn't hook up with a pilot again.
00:00:45I can't, I can't have her banned from another airline.
00:00:49Follow me, please.
00:00:50What?
00:00:53Mom, are you okay?
00:00:54What happened?
00:00:55What happened is...
00:00:59I'm engaged!
00:01:01Woo!
00:01:02Oh, my God.
00:01:03Woo!
00:01:03You guys really commit to a prank.
00:01:06Oh, honey, it's no prank.
00:01:09This is the real deal.
00:01:11Are you being serious right now?
00:01:13You were only gone for six days.
00:01:15She was only gone for six days.
00:01:17I know.
00:01:18But when you know, you know.
00:01:20You know.
00:01:21No.
00:01:22Oh, honey, I can't wait for you to meet Wayne.
00:01:25He's actually flying in tomorrow.
00:01:28Is alcohol even allowed in here?
00:01:31Oh, not at all.
00:01:32I confiscated it from a guy earlier this morning.
00:01:35You don't want to know where.
00:01:37To your mom!
00:01:38Yay!
00:01:39Cheers.
00:01:40Cheers.
00:01:41You can call me a mom.
00:01:43Woo!
00:01:44But you're the one to blame.
00:01:48Cause now that we're not together,
00:01:51I finally feel okay.
00:01:54I just don't understand.
00:01:57You were in Sedona for less than a week,
00:02:00and now you're engaged to some random guy?
00:02:03Oh, Wayne isn't random.
00:02:05Okay.
00:02:07What's his last name?
00:02:10Um...
00:02:10Appleby?
00:02:11No.
00:02:12Appleton?
00:02:13Granny Smith.
00:02:14Mom!
00:02:15It's something to do with apples,
00:02:17but that's not important.
00:02:18I know the important things.
00:02:20He's kind and funny.
00:02:22He's a great cook.
00:02:23Do you know that you can make a lasagna
00:02:25from hot dogs and mustard?
00:02:27Gross.
00:02:28Mom, please listen to me.
00:02:31I'm worried about you.
00:02:32You've just fallen in love so many times,
00:02:35and it never...
00:02:35This is different.
00:02:37Just keep an open mind.
00:02:39Wayne's gonna be here tomorrow,
00:02:40and you're gonna love him.
00:02:43Fuji!
00:02:44Wayne Fuji!
00:02:46I knew it had to do with apples.
00:02:47I was so close.
00:02:59Ooh.
00:03:00Bagel bar.
00:03:01Oh.
00:03:01Alice, you're the best.
00:03:03Well, I have to make work a little fun for my team.
00:03:05Laney, I got you gluten-free.
00:03:06Ah, you're so good to us.
00:03:08Thank you, HR Mommy.
00:03:09Please don't call me Mommy.
00:03:11We were bummed you couldn't make it to karaoke last night.
00:03:13Mm-hmm.
00:03:14I think I made Beyoncé proud.
00:03:15Well, even though public singing is my number one stress dream,
00:03:18I was sad to miss it, but I had to pick my mom up at the airport, so...
00:03:21Oh, Jeannie's back from the retreat thingy.
00:03:23Was it good?
00:03:23Yeah, she got engaged to a guy she met there, so that's fun.
00:03:27Anyway...
00:03:27Wait, wait. Jeannie got engaged?
00:03:29Yes, she did.
00:03:31But, point being, I need to tell you about our new PTO policy.
00:03:35Um...
00:03:36Moore?
00:03:37That's insane.
00:03:38Alice's mom is next level.
00:03:39Tell him about the time that your mom was a groupie for Nickelback
00:03:42and pulled you out of high school for a month to go on tour with them.
00:03:45Anyway...
00:03:45Let's get back to the engagement.
00:03:46Have you met this guy yet?
00:03:47No, he's flying in tonight, so I have to spend my lunch break
00:03:50looking him up online and maybe running a background check.
00:03:53Or...
00:03:54Just a thought, maybe we could look him up right now.
00:03:58Okay, only if we count it as team buildings.
00:04:00Yes!
00:04:01Go team!
00:04:05It says his last job was renting fog machines to strip clubs.
00:04:10Huh.
00:04:11I wouldn't even think that was a gig,
00:04:12because the whole point would be to see the women, but what do I know?
00:04:15He can't be as bad as he looks online, right?
00:04:17He's wearing a t-shirt that says,
00:04:19I own two pythons.
00:04:20And one's in my pants.
00:04:23No.
00:04:24No.
00:04:25She's not marrying this man!
00:04:29So...
00:04:31I've been thinking...
00:04:32You want bangs?
00:04:33Honey, I'm sorry.
00:04:35I don't think you have the forehead for them.
00:04:37No.
00:04:37I...
00:04:37What?
00:04:39I've been thinking about you and Wayne.
00:04:41I wanted to talk to you before he got here.
00:04:45Mom, you know I love you and I want you to be happy, but I'm worried you're moving a little
00:04:50fast here.
00:04:52That retreat was supposed to be about working through your grief, not boning some guy showing off his snake tattoos
00:05:01online.
00:05:01Did you look him up?
00:05:03With an open mind?
00:05:05But yes!
00:05:06Okay.
00:05:07First of all, he only has one snake tattoo, and it all connects on his cute little butt cheek.
00:05:14Okay.
00:05:14And second of all, I did work through my grief.
00:05:17I only cried over Queenie once, the whole trip.
00:05:21They served nuts on the plane.
00:05:24You know how she felt about squirrels.
00:05:26Well, hey!
00:05:27There's my woman!
00:05:29Oh!
00:05:29Baby, baby!
00:05:30Come over here!
00:05:35Alice, this is Wayne, my fiancée.
00:05:39Alice.
00:05:40Hey, now listen.
00:05:41Hi.
00:05:42I know you're a grown woman, but I want to tell you something.
00:05:45I intend to be the world's best dad, and I want to get a mug to prove it.
00:05:50She's a cutie pie.
00:05:52You're a cutie pie.
00:05:52It's just so exciting for my two favorite people to meet.
00:05:57Yeah.
00:05:58Um, say, Wayne.
00:06:01Huh?
00:06:01Could you ask our waiter for some more, um, um, napkins?
00:06:07Napkins.
00:06:08Sure.
00:06:08Can do.
00:06:09Okay.
00:06:10Hold my bowie for me.
00:06:13Will you, Beanie?
00:06:16That's sweet.
00:06:17That's sweet sugar.
00:06:23You cannot marry that guy.
00:06:27This is the start of an episode of Dateline.
00:06:29Oh, my God.
00:06:30It's heavy.
00:06:31No!
00:06:32You know, I was worried you would do this.
00:06:35Start judging him for his looks and his education and his hepatitis.
00:06:39His what?
00:06:41Mom, you are rushing into this.
00:06:43If you say so.
00:06:44You are not being rational.
00:06:46Love isn't rational.
00:06:48Oh, but I forgot.
00:06:48You don't believe in romance.
00:06:50Oh, I believe in romance.
00:06:51I just prefer to be in control of my life.
00:06:53Not lost in some pheromone-induced mania.
00:06:57I am not like you.
00:06:58Oh, you're exactly like me.
00:07:01I raised two beautiful daughters.
00:07:04You and Queenie are exactly like me.
00:07:07Stop comparing me to your dog.
00:07:08It's a compliment.
00:07:10It's not!
00:07:10Hey, ladies.
00:07:13Hey.
00:07:13Now, I could not track down the waiter and get those napkins, but got something better.
00:07:18Boom.
00:07:20Use as much as you want.
00:07:21We can wipe our hands with it.
00:07:25And again, if you ever want me to set you up with someone, let me know.
00:07:28Oh, thank you.
00:07:29But no, thank you.
00:07:30I don't have time to date right now.
00:07:31Alice, come on.
00:07:32I mean, don't you want to meet a mega nerd like yourself, like your little freak flag fly?
00:07:35My freak flag is doing just fine in storage right now.
00:07:38Is it?
00:07:38I don't have time.
00:07:40I'm working overtime to try to get this director of human resources job.
00:07:43And now, I have to deal with my mother's train wreck of an engagement?
00:07:47No.
00:07:48Is he really as bad as we thought?
00:07:49He's worse.
00:07:50She's so blinded by love.
00:07:52She can't see the parade of red flags he's laid out for her.
00:07:55And when this relationship inevitably ends like they always do in six to eight months,
00:07:59she will be devastated and hysterical.
00:08:01And who will have to pick up the pieces?
00:08:02Me.
00:08:03It never works.
00:08:05I mean, come on.
00:08:05She doesn't even know who my dad is.
00:08:08Are we really surprised?
00:08:27Oh, hi.
00:08:29I'm going on the lawn or going to winter formal.
00:08:31I hit one of my nose.
00:08:34Oh, well.
00:08:43Thank you for coming over.
00:08:46Oh, my God.
00:08:47Oh, I know.
00:08:50Doesn't Queenie look beautiful?
00:08:55She really does.
00:08:57I hired the same photographer who did your senior portrait.
00:09:02Nothing but the best for my two daughters.
00:09:05Mom, for the last time, your human daughter is not the same as a dog.
00:09:10I asked you here because I want you to know I heard your concerns.
00:09:15Really?
00:09:16Mm-hmm.
00:09:17Wayne and I agreed.
00:09:19Planning a wedding is just too much work.
00:09:21And weddings cost a fortune.
00:09:25That's true.
00:09:27That is so responsible.
00:09:29Yes.
00:09:29So we're going to Elope in Buffalo next Saturday.
00:09:33What?
00:09:34You want to get married next weekend?
00:09:35Mm-hmm.
00:09:37And?
00:09:43Alice, I have a very important question to ask you.
00:09:46Uh-huh.
00:09:47Will you be my maid of honor?
00:09:51Oh, you're maid of honor.
00:09:55Mom, I'm so touched, obviously.
00:09:59And I really would like to say yes.
00:10:03Yes!
00:10:04Oh, I'm so glad we got that sorted because I have so much to do.
00:10:07I have to go shoe shopping.
00:10:08I have to go dress shopping.
00:10:11I have to pack up this entire house.
00:10:14Pack up the house?
00:10:15Didn't I tell you I'm selling the house?
00:10:18You're selling the house?
00:10:19Wayne says we need seed money for the new business.
00:10:22What business?
00:10:22Oh, that's still in beta.
00:10:24Hold on.
00:10:25You are saying that you want to sell our house, the site of all of our memories, to give cash
00:10:32to a guy you just met for a business that doesn't exist yet?
00:10:37No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:10:38I'm not going to give it to him.
00:10:41Then it would be taxed.
00:10:42Oh, my God.
00:10:43Now, we're going to wait till we're married and combine assets.
00:10:48That's the least I can do to support his dream because he's moving here for me.
00:10:51Look what the cat dragged in.
00:10:53Whoa!
00:10:54Me!
00:10:55You, baby.
00:10:56Thank you for your credit card.
00:10:57I betcha, honey.
00:10:57And I got something for you.
00:10:59Oh, my God.
00:10:59No, no, no, no, no.
00:11:00I'm leaving.
00:11:01I'm going to work.
00:11:02Come on, baby.
00:11:04Let's dance.
00:11:04Let's dance.
00:11:05I'm going.
00:11:06Oh, bye, honey.
00:11:07Baby, baby, baby, baby.
00:11:21Hey, hon.
00:11:22Hmm?
00:11:22So, you sent a company-wide email with zero exclamation marks, and I'm wondering if you're
00:11:27okay.
00:11:27My mom wants to marry Python Pants next week.
00:11:31Next week?
00:11:31Next week.
00:11:32And I can't let it happen.
00:11:33Oh, he's really that bad.
00:11:34He's awful.
00:11:36He's making her sell her house, to steal all her money, to start some business.
00:11:40He's just...
00:11:40He's got his claws in her deep, you know?
00:11:43Ew.
00:11:45Damn.
00:11:46Red flag city.
00:11:47Mm-hmm.
00:11:48But your mom is a grown-ass woman, and she'll just have to live with the decisions that
00:11:51she makes.
00:11:51My mom is mentally a teenager.
00:11:53She can't...
00:11:55You're right.
00:11:56Yeah.
00:11:56Why?
00:11:57Her decisions.
00:11:59I have to make her think it's her decision to call things off with him.
00:12:02Yeah.
00:12:03But what is my mom more than anything else?
00:12:06Horny.
00:12:08Fair.
00:12:09What else?
00:12:10Self-centered.
00:12:11Yes.
00:12:12She's been talking about her next chapter of life for years, so I just have to make her
00:12:16see all the paths she won't be able to take in her next chapter if she's with Wayne.
00:12:21Mm-hmm.
00:12:21Are you sure that this is the path that you want to take?
00:12:24Because you've been working so hard to get your promotion, and...
00:12:27If I could do this at literally any other time, I would.
00:12:29But if this man breaks her heart and steals her nest egg, I fear she will never recover,
00:12:32and I have to protect her.
00:12:33So that's what I'm gonna do.
00:12:41Hi.
00:12:41Hi.
00:12:42What are you doing here?
00:12:44I was just getting in the bath.
00:12:45Do you want to come in?
00:12:46Uh, no.
00:12:47I've had a bath today, thanks.
00:12:48I tried calling, but your voicemail's full.
00:12:51Oh.
00:12:51I have an idea.
00:12:53What if, instead of flying to Buffalo, we drive to Buffalo together?
00:12:59Like, a road trip?
00:13:01A bachelorette road trip?
00:13:03Yeah.
00:13:03I'll plan all the stops.
00:13:05Wait, but what about your job?
00:13:07You never take time off.
00:13:08I can bring my laptop and work on the road.
00:13:10I've already told Lainey to call me if there's anything I absolutely have to handle,
00:13:14because how often does my mom get married?
00:13:19Well, I'm pretty sure ceremonies in Belize don't count in the U.S.
00:13:23Okay.
00:13:24I'm gonna choose not to unpack that right now.
00:13:27I know Wayne might feel a little weird about being left in a new city all alone.
00:13:31Oh, no, no, no.
00:13:32He's so busy scouting locations for the new business.
00:13:35I love how independent he is.
00:13:38Mm-hmm.
00:13:38I'm just gonna tell him to meet us in Buffalo before the wedding, and it will be just us.
00:13:42Great!
00:13:43A mother-daughter bachelorette party road trip.
00:13:46Yes.
00:13:47We'll leave tomorrow?
00:13:47Yes.
00:13:48Oh, I'm so excited.
00:13:50I love you.
00:13:50I love you too, Mom.
00:13:52I just want you to be so, so happy.
00:13:54You know that, right?
00:13:56Gee.
00:13:57Come back.
00:13:59Our bubble bath's almost done bubbling.
00:14:02I gotta go.
00:14:03I'm so happy.
00:14:04Love you, honey.
00:14:05Okay.
00:14:05See you tomorrow.
00:14:12Here we go.
00:14:21Ta-da!
00:14:22I just got us a serious upgrade for Next to Nothing.
00:14:25You're welcome.
00:14:26But what about the trunk space?
00:14:28And what is Next to Nothing for a rental car cost?
00:14:30Don't worry about it.
00:14:31I'm selling my house.
00:14:32I'm about to be flush with cash.
00:14:35Really?
00:14:36Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:14:36Be careful.
00:14:37Queenie's in there.
00:14:38You brought her remains?
00:14:39I would never travel without her.
00:14:42If you were dead, I'd bring you along too.
00:14:44Don't ever do that.
00:14:46You couldn't stop me.
00:14:47You'd be dead.
00:14:48Mom.
00:14:49We need a picture before we hit the road.
00:14:51Yeah.
00:14:52Okay.
00:14:54One, two, three.
00:14:58And off we go.
00:15:01Ooh, Mom.
00:15:03Yeah?
00:15:03Do you have a hair tie?
00:15:04Okay.
00:15:04Oh.
00:15:05Hold on.
00:15:07Okay.
00:15:08Let me.
00:15:09Oh.
00:15:14Ah.
00:15:15How's that?
00:15:16Great, actually.
00:15:22Oh, I love this song.
00:15:26Oh, wait.
00:15:28Oh, come on.
00:15:30Dance with me.
00:15:31Mom, I'm driving.
00:15:32Ten and two.
00:15:35Oh.
00:15:36Come on.
00:15:37Okay.
00:15:37Ah.
00:15:39You make me strong.
00:15:46Woo!
00:15:49No, I think it's all the work.
00:16:05I know.
00:16:06This would not have happened if you hadn't insisted on getting a convertible.
00:16:11Oh, honey, it's just a few bugs. It's no big deal.
00:16:17I don't know.
00:16:18What's wrong?
00:16:19I know him. That guy over there by the brown van.
00:16:24Ex-boyfriend?
00:16:25No!
00:16:26He's just an annoying kid I went to high school with.
00:16:28Wesley Darbin.
00:16:31Hey, Wesley!
00:16:32Mom, no!
00:16:33Yoo-hoo! Stop!
00:16:34Uh, hi. Do I know you?
00:16:37I'm Alice Anderson's mom.
00:16:39She actually wanted to say hi to you. She's right over here.
00:16:43Alice?
00:16:46Oh, there she is.
00:16:47Alice Anderson?
00:16:49It's been a while.
00:16:51Hey.
00:16:52Hi.
00:16:52Hi.
00:16:54Oh, wow.
00:16:56She was just saying how cool she thought your van was.
00:16:58Oh.
00:16:59I've never accused that thing of being cool.
00:17:02It's, uh, very retro.
00:17:05Yeah.
00:17:05Well, we bought it off the guy who painted it in 1972.
00:17:09Huh.
00:17:09Hi.
00:17:10Who's we? Girlfriend?
00:17:11No, no.
00:17:12My bandmate, Clive.
00:17:13Uh, I'm in a band.
00:17:15Oh, oh.
00:17:15We're on tour.
00:17:16Uh, Clive's just in there.
00:17:17Mm.
00:17:18Clive?
00:17:21That's Clive.
00:17:22Yeah.
00:17:22Hey.
00:17:23Hey.
00:17:24Yeah.
00:17:24He's, uh...
00:17:25What?
00:17:26He's shy.
00:17:28So you two are friends, huh?
00:17:30No.
00:17:30Yeah.
00:17:30Not even a little bit.
00:17:31Come on.
00:17:32You hated me in high school.
00:17:33I didn't hate you.
00:17:34Yeah.
00:17:35I hated the way you were constantly trying to one-up me.
00:17:38I don't think I ever tried to one-up you.
00:17:40I think I just one-upped you, and you still ended up valedictorian.
00:17:43You were very...driven.
00:17:50Anyway, we should be going.
00:17:52Oh, no.
00:17:53We have a few more minutes.
00:17:54Keep catching up.
00:17:57I'm sorry.
00:17:57I knew I recognized you.
00:17:59Did you come to school on a horse one time?
00:18:02Alice's 16th birthday.
00:18:03She wanted a car.
00:18:05But I was dating a guy at the equestrian center, and I thought,
00:18:07it's a pretty cool ride, too.
00:18:10No-brainer.
00:18:11We talked about that for a solid year.
00:18:13Yeah, you guys didn't stop neighing at me in the hallways.
00:18:16I have no recollection of this.
00:18:18So where's your band playing next?
00:18:19Uh, we've got a gig in Rochester, so we thought,
00:18:25what the hell, let's pack up the van, hit the road,
00:18:28see where the wind takes us, and we'll, uh,
00:18:30we'll play small gigs along the way.
00:18:32Yeah.
00:18:33So you're going on a tour with only one booked gig?
00:18:37Yeah.
00:18:37Wow.
00:18:38Not the overachiever I remember.
00:18:41What?
00:18:41Times change.
00:18:42Well, that's pretty weird, because we're on the way to Buffalo.
00:18:45Come on.
00:18:45So you two should exchange numbers.
00:18:47We don't have to.
00:18:47That's a great idea, actually.
00:18:49Here, uh, my phone is dead, so...
00:18:52An actual old-fashioned pen?
00:18:54Wow.
00:18:55Still carry one of those, huh?
00:18:58Take that.
00:18:59Um, just, uh, text me.
00:19:01If only to get recommendations for awesome diners and pit stops along the way.
00:19:06Uh, maybe we can grab a milkshake and you and I can reminisce about the good old days of AP
00:19:11Physics.
00:19:12Clive and I have done this route before, so...
00:19:14You hear that, honey?
00:19:16He's experienced.
00:19:17Okay.
00:19:18We're virgins.
00:19:20We're leaving.
00:19:21Wow!
00:19:22Let's go, Mom.
00:19:23Get in the car.
00:19:23Um, and, uh, nice, uh, panty pony.
00:19:28Very chic.
00:19:29Oh!
00:19:31He likes your panties.
00:19:33These are pantyhose in my hair?
00:19:36Mom!
00:19:41You have to go out with him.
00:19:43He's so cute.
00:19:44Me and Wesley Darvin?
00:19:46No way.
00:19:48Besides, he wasn't even asking me to hang out like that.
00:19:51Oh, I disagree.
00:19:54I like him.
00:19:55Yeah, you liking a guy is a red flag.
00:19:59You know, Mom, once you get married, you won't be able to just meet cute guys and flirt with them
00:20:07anymore.
00:20:08I'm getting married. I'm not turning into a nun.
00:20:12Plus, Wayne and I aren't the jealous types.
00:20:14Oh, really?
00:20:16Even though he used to work in strip clubs?
00:20:19You kind of left that part out when you said he used to be in sales.
00:20:23Oh, the past is the past.
00:20:27And I am not judgmental about Zach's work.
00:20:30Huh.
00:20:31Really though, Mom, do you ever worry that...
00:20:34I'm not concerned a bit.
00:20:39Wayne and I have gotten through some very tough times.
00:20:42Because we communicate.
00:20:49Hey, Mom.
00:20:51Take this freeway.
00:20:54Are we going to Cheryl's?
00:20:56It wouldn't be your bachelorette party if we didn't go to see your oldest bestest friend, right?
00:21:01Woo!
00:21:03Yeah!
00:21:03Yeah!
00:21:17I knew Cheryl was successful, but not, like, giant mansion successful.
00:21:23What did she do again?
00:21:24Oh, she's the head of all product distribution of the Midwest.
00:21:28Wow.
00:21:29Mm-hmm.
00:21:30Oh, my God.
00:21:31Gigi, I'm so glad you're here.
00:21:33Oh.
00:21:34It's been way too long.
00:21:36I know.
00:21:37I mean, the last time I saw you, I mean, I think I still have my original eyelids.
00:21:42Now I blink like a 22-year-old.
00:21:45Oh.
00:21:46Alice, you're all grown up.
00:21:48Oh, my God.
00:21:49The last time I saw you, you were still in that awkward phase that girls have when they're 13.
00:21:54I was 17.
00:21:55The world needs late bloomers.
00:21:57Hm?
00:21:59I cannot believe that you're getting hitched, did you?
00:22:02I know.
00:22:03I mean, oh, my God.
00:22:04Okay, the only reason to marry a man that fast, tight pants, from a fat wallet.
00:22:09Or a fat something else.
00:22:11Oh, honey, you have no idea.
00:22:13Okay, ladies.
00:22:15You too.
00:22:17You know, I just realized you're actually like alternate versions of each other.
00:22:23You met working together.
00:22:25You both built wonderful careers, bought your own homes.
00:22:30You've done a lot as independent ladies.
00:22:33Mom, maybe you should be going into business again with Cheryl, your oldest best friend who you know and trust.
00:22:41Hm?
00:22:41I think our business days are over.
00:22:44Aw.
00:22:45Cher's like my big sister.
00:22:47Aw.
00:22:48You calling me old?
00:22:49Oh, and have your team of plastic surgeons come after me?
00:22:52Never.
00:22:53You know me too well.
00:22:55Okay.
00:22:55Ooh.
00:22:56Ladies, finish your champagne.
00:23:00I got a little surprise.
00:23:05What?
00:23:06What?
00:23:06What is that?
00:23:07What is going on?
00:23:08I'm like your fairy godmother.
00:23:11What is this?
00:23:12Okay, don't look at any of the price tags, because I already bought a ball.
00:23:17Cher, this is too much.
00:23:19Oh, Bish Bosh.
00:23:20You said you haven't bought a wedding dress yet, and you know I wanted to assist.
00:23:24And you know, help Alice.
00:23:25Poor Alice over there.
00:23:27Find some clothes that aren't so drab.
00:23:29Drab?
00:23:30You look like an HR lady.
00:23:31But I am an HR lady.
00:23:32Okay.
00:23:35Where do we start?
00:23:41Oh.
00:23:42Oh, oh.
00:23:44On danse, c'est la nuit.
00:23:48On danse, c'était fine.
00:23:51Ce soir, c'est la vie.
00:23:55No, I love it.
00:23:58Comme un art de scandale.
00:24:01Le regard radical.
00:24:05Se défie la nuit et l'interdit.
00:24:09Keep it, keep it.
00:24:11I love it.
00:24:14Sorry if I'm hurting you.
00:24:16Oh, please, honey.
00:24:17After what you did to me when you were born, I can take it.
00:24:20Hm.
00:24:21This is fun, Mom.
00:24:23Yeah.
00:24:24We haven't had a girl's day like this in a long time, huh?
00:24:27Well, we went to that winter matinee last year.
00:24:30Oh, no.
00:24:31Tax Evasion Garrett met us there.
00:24:33No.
00:24:34That was two years ago.
00:24:35Last year was Jobless Bob.
00:24:38Oh.
00:24:39Yeah.
00:24:40I haven't had the best track record with men, have I?
00:24:43No, you haven't.
00:24:45That's why I'm so glad that I met Wayne.
00:24:48He's such a lovely guy.
00:24:52Well, you look beautiful, Mom.
00:24:54Oh.
00:24:54Oh.
00:24:55Bad news, ladies.
00:24:56Looks like the DEA are on their way.
00:24:58Did she just say the DEA?
00:24:59Yeah, this is not good.
00:25:01Apologies for being such a rude host, but it's probably best if you just hit the road.
00:25:04You know, before the feds arrived.
00:25:05Product distribution.
00:25:07That's drugs.
00:25:08She's a drug dealer?
00:25:09That's how you're so rich?
00:25:10And you two worked together.
00:25:11Were you like Pablo Escobar?
00:25:13Oh, no.
00:25:13We were very low level back then.
00:25:15He is for you.
00:25:16Just make a little wedding gift.
00:25:18It was lovely seeing you both.
00:25:19I'll see you at the wedding.
00:25:20Okay.
00:25:20Go on, honey.
00:25:21Mom!
00:25:22Come on, Mom!
00:25:23It's okay.
00:25:26You're going 90 miles an hour.
00:25:28Well, yeah.
00:25:29Oh, my God.
00:25:33Cheryl.
00:25:35Aunt Cheryl's like a kingpin.
00:25:39What?
00:25:39That's funny you say that.
00:25:41That DARE program must have really worked.
00:25:43Why wouldn't you ever tell me this?
00:25:47Because I didn't think you'd ever understand.
00:25:49Oh, I don't understand.
00:25:50This is so irresponsible, Mom.
00:25:53Oh, my God.
00:25:54You could have gone to jail.
00:25:55I mean, why would you risk it?
00:25:56There's not a lot of jobs for young single mothers without a college education.
00:26:02And I wanted a better life for you.
00:26:04So, I just worked until I could buy a house and get out.
00:26:10And I don't regret any of it.
00:26:12Whoa, Mom.
00:26:13I guess I never really thought about it like that.
00:26:17I mean, it must have been really hard for you all by yourself with a newborn and nobody to rely
00:26:23on.
00:26:24But you know what?
00:26:25What?
00:26:26Now I have Wayne to lean on.
00:26:29My soulmate.
00:26:32Uh-huh.
00:26:39What's that smell?
00:26:4289 bucks a night.
00:26:44Okay.
00:26:45I'm gonna go freshen up and see if there's a bar.
00:26:49Yeah.
00:26:49Good idea.
00:26:50I'll change too.
00:26:51What?
00:26:52Why?
00:26:52You look so good.
00:26:53I'm overdressed for a motel bar, no?
00:26:56Well, at least let me give you something of mine that kind of shows off the goods.
00:27:00What makes you think I didn't bring anything that shows off the goods?
00:27:06Fine.
00:27:06Fine.
00:27:13Come.
00:27:23Hi.
00:27:24Is that Alice Anderson in a sexy black dress I see on my screen?
00:27:29Woo!
00:27:30Is it too much?
00:27:31It's so tight.
00:27:32No.
00:27:33It's perfect.
00:27:33I'm so glad that you're finally letting loose and shutting off those girls gone mild vibes.
00:27:38Apparently we're going to a bar later.
00:27:40I love that.
00:27:41It's literally the last thing I want to do right now.
00:27:44But we're connecting, so...
00:27:47It's a great idea.
00:27:49You know, your choices should always be bolder than your turtlenecks, Alice.
00:27:53Deepak Chopra said that.
00:27:54No, he did not.
00:27:56But I get your point.
00:27:58One drink can't hurt, right?
00:28:03Ugh.
00:28:05Wow.
00:28:06I can feel the earth spinning, I think.
00:28:09It's amazing.
00:28:10That's what love feels like.
00:28:12I'll take your word for it.
00:28:14Ah, honey.
00:28:16You gotta get out there and date me.
00:28:20I watched you be heartbroken over and over for my whole life.
00:28:27No.
00:28:28No dating.
00:28:34You don't date because of me?
00:28:37I didn't think you absorbed all that.
00:28:40I mean...
00:28:42It's okay.
00:28:43Oh, mom.
00:28:44Oh, okay.
00:28:45I don't even need a man.
00:28:47And I just always needed a man.
00:28:50You think?
00:28:53I...
00:28:54Sorry.
00:28:55I just mean...
00:28:58Are you...
00:28:59Are you sure you want to marry this guy you've only known for six days?
00:29:04Yeah.
00:29:05What?
00:29:06In Buffalo?
00:29:07Why?
00:29:08Buffalo?
00:29:10You know I had a hard time growing up.
00:29:12My parents.
00:29:14I know, mom.
00:29:17Well...
00:29:18One weekend...
00:29:20We went to Buffalo.
00:29:22And we had the best time.
00:29:25Everyone was so happy.
00:29:27We...
00:29:30We really felt like family.
00:29:34Hmm.
00:29:36So I was really sad when we were leaving and...
00:29:41I saw this couple.
00:29:43And they were getting married in the chapel.
00:29:47And it was so beautiful.
00:29:51And I just thought...
00:29:52If I ever get married...
00:29:56I'm gonna get married right here because...
00:30:00Buffalo is just the happiest place on earth.
00:30:07I want you to be happy.
00:30:11But do you think this is gonna last?
00:30:14Oh, honey.
00:30:18Wayne isn't like any other man I dated.
00:30:22He only wants what's best for me.
00:30:26I promise.
00:30:30You believe me, right?
00:30:36I, um...
00:30:40I believe we...
00:30:42Need to ride that.
00:30:45Mm-hmm.
00:30:47Yes!
00:30:48Come on.
00:30:49Okay.
00:30:50Get on her, honey!
00:30:52Yeah!
00:30:54Woo!
00:30:55Woo-hoo!
00:30:56Okay!
00:30:57Look at her, girl!
00:30:59Thanks, my girl!
00:31:00Oh, yeah!
00:31:02Yeah!
00:31:04Get your hips from there!
00:31:06Woo!
00:31:06Woo!
00:31:07Woo!
00:31:08Woo!
00:31:09Woo!
00:31:09Woo!
00:31:11She's doing it!
00:31:12She's doing it!
00:31:13Woo!
00:31:14Woo!
00:31:14Woo!
00:31:17Oh!
00:31:18Honey!
00:31:19Alice!
00:31:20Alice!
00:31:20I got you!
00:31:22That's payback for the airport!
00:31:24Oh!
00:31:29Are you okay, honey?
00:31:30Yeah.
00:31:31You sure?
00:31:32Yeah, 100%.
00:31:33I'm fine.
00:31:33I just need one sec.
00:31:35Oh!
00:31:37Oh!
00:31:37Oh!
00:31:38Boy!
00:31:45I don't know what got me worse.
00:31:47The booze or the bull.
00:31:50Oh.
00:31:51It's the booze.
00:31:53Trust me.
00:31:58Hey, we're really close to Columbus.
00:32:02You know, some, um, fresh air might really help me walk around, enjoy the beauty of Ohio.
00:32:11Isn't that pretty far out of the way?
00:32:14No.
00:32:14It's...
00:32:15Or did you plan a stop for us?
00:32:17No.
00:32:18No plan.
00:32:30Hey, Mom.
00:32:31Could you go inside and get me a bottle of water?
00:32:34Oh, and maybe a box of those mini gas station donuts?
00:32:37Mini gas station donuts?
00:32:38Yeah.
00:32:40That one's with the powdered sugar all over them.
00:32:42Oh.
00:32:44Okay.
00:32:45How did I raise you so wrong?
00:32:52Okay.
00:32:54This is gonna work.
00:32:55I just need a reason to get us there.
00:32:59Okay.
00:33:01Just a quick...
00:33:04Okay, come on, Alice.
00:33:06You gotta do this, otherwise your mom is gonna get fondled by a strip club con artist with produce for
00:33:12the rest of your life.
00:33:14No!
00:33:15Come on!
00:33:17Lock in.
00:33:21Shit!
00:33:23Ow!
00:33:25Oh, no!
00:33:27Oh!
00:33:27Honey!
00:33:29What's wrong?
00:33:30I think I chipped my ulna.
00:33:31Oh!
00:33:32Where's that?
00:33:33It's my elbow!
00:33:35Oh!
00:33:36Oh!
00:33:37I'm gonna...
00:33:38I'm gonna find the nearest doctor's office.
00:33:43You bang your elbow and you run to a plastic surgeon's office?
00:33:47What do you think they're gonna do, Botox the bruise?
00:33:51Miss Anderson, I'm Dr...
00:33:54Tim?
00:33:55Cheney?
00:33:57Oh, my God.
00:33:58You two know each other?
00:33:59It's been a while.
00:34:01How are you?
00:34:03Wow.
00:34:04So, uh, you finally opened your own practice?
00:34:08I always told you I would.
00:34:12You went to Harvard Medical School?
00:34:16Uh-huh, yeah.
00:34:17After the Peace Corps, I realized my true calling was medicine.
00:34:20Wow.
00:34:21And what better way to help people than cosmetic surgery?
00:34:25Because when you look your best, you feel your best.
00:34:28I guess that is true.
00:34:30Must be a nice paycheck, too, huh?
00:34:34Jeanie, it's so good to see you.
00:34:37Um, wait, Mom.
00:34:40Is this the Tim you dated when I was three?
00:34:44That you said was the great love of your life?
00:34:49Um, I might have said something like that.
00:34:52Well, I mean, of course this was before Wayne.
00:34:55Wait a second, who's Wayne?
00:34:56My fiancee.
00:34:57Mm-hmm.
00:34:58Oh, well, congrats.
00:35:00Mm-hmm.
00:35:01So much you two don't know about each other.
00:35:03Maybe we should spend an extra day or two here,
00:35:06and you and this Harvard-educated, rich doctor
00:35:11with an excellent jawline.
00:35:13Did you get that done?
00:35:14Not my business.
00:35:16You two could catch up.
00:35:19Jeanie, I-I've missed you so much.
00:35:23You!
00:35:24Oh!
00:35:27I warned you.
00:35:29Nancy!
00:35:30Oh, you look terrific.
00:35:31He does great work.
00:35:33Nancy, Jeanie just stopped it with a daughter.
00:35:35Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:35:35Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
00:35:36I warned you.
00:35:38Next time you come near my husband,
00:35:40it would be your last!
00:35:42Oh, my God!
00:35:42Your husband?
00:35:43He is not wearing a wedding ring!
00:35:45You are not wearing a wedding ring!
00:35:46No, no, no, no, no, Nancy, no!
00:35:48Nancy!
00:35:49You're gonna hurt someone.
00:35:50You!
00:35:50You!
00:35:51No, no, no, no!
00:35:54You!
00:35:55Run!
00:35:56Run!
00:35:56Nancy!
00:35:58Oh, my God, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
00:36:01Oh, my God!
00:36:04Oh, my God!
00:36:04Get in the car!
00:36:05Oh, my God!
00:36:07Go, go, go, go, go!
00:36:12You're in my car!
00:36:16Oh, my God!
00:36:26Don't even think about coming back!
00:36:29That was insane!
00:36:32It'll be fine.
00:36:33How's your elbow?
00:36:35What?
00:36:35Oh, better.
00:36:37I'm really sorry I made us go there.
00:36:40Well, you know, it's not like you knew it was my ex's practice.
00:36:44Yeah.
00:36:46It was a small world.
00:36:47It did seem like you two were kind of having a moment there before we almost got murdered
00:36:51by his wife.
00:36:53You know, it's funny.
00:36:54I spent the last two decades fantasizing about Tim, you know, the one who got away.
00:36:58Yeah.
00:36:59Now I see exactly what was wrong.
00:37:02Like that he's married?
00:37:04Well, yeah, but also, he never stood up for me.
00:37:08With Wayne, I always feel so supported.
00:37:13Yeah.
00:37:15Oh, shit!
00:37:17It wasn't speeding.
00:37:19You hand me my purse.
00:37:20I threw it in the back.
00:37:22Oh, my God.
00:37:25Why is there cocaine in our car?
00:37:27Because Cheryl is a very generous gift giver.
00:37:30It's worth a fortune.
00:37:31Mom, the cop is gonna see this.
00:37:34And then I'm gonna go to prison.
00:37:35I'm gonna go to prison with my mom.
00:37:37Oh, my God.
00:37:40What are you doing?
00:37:41Oh, my God.
00:37:43Okay.
00:37:44Listen to me, Alice.
00:37:46Men will do anything if you flirt with them in the right way.
00:37:49It's our superpower as women.
00:37:51Mom, I can't.
00:37:52I'm not like you.
00:37:53Yes, you are.
00:37:54You just have to do three things.
00:37:55Use his name.
00:37:56Laugh at whatever he says.
00:37:58And give him a look like this.
00:37:59I can't do that.
00:38:01Oh, yes, you can.
00:38:02No.
00:38:03I trust you.
00:38:04Love you.
00:38:05No, I can't, Mom.
00:38:06I can't.
00:38:07Hi.
00:38:09Officer Dingleman.
00:38:10Wow.
00:38:11Cool name.
00:38:12You know why I pulled you over?
00:38:14No.
00:38:15Officer Dingleman.
00:38:16I don't.
00:38:17You've got a busted taillight.
00:38:18Well, we hit a deer.
00:38:23From the back.
00:38:24Crazy, right?
00:38:26I mean, what are the odds?
00:38:28So funny.
00:38:29Not for the deer.
00:38:30Oh, it's a powder explosion.
00:38:32My daughter just loves those mini gas station donuts, Dingleman.
00:38:36Gross.
00:38:37No one likes those.
00:38:37Oh, I do.
00:38:38They're my guilty pleasure.
00:38:41Must have spilled them when we hit the deer.
00:38:46If you promise to go with a mechanic, I can give you a warning.
00:38:49Really?
00:38:50Mm-hmm.
00:38:51Safe travels.
00:38:55I can't believe that actually worked.
00:38:57I'm so proud of you, honey.
00:38:59We just have to work on your flirting face.
00:39:01Why was the lip light too much?
00:39:03I ain't given more cannibal than coquette.
00:39:05Okay.
00:39:05I can take that feedback.
00:39:08Speaking of coquette, we need to get this stuff out of here immediately.
00:39:11Wait, Mom.
00:39:12Good call with the donuts, Mom.
00:39:14How'd you come up with that?
00:39:15I slid a few tricks up my sleeve.
00:39:17Yeah.
00:39:17Come on.
00:39:17I'm hungry. Let's go.
00:39:18Okay.
00:39:22Is that...
00:39:23No, it couldn't be.
00:39:25Don't I know you from...
00:39:26From high school?
00:39:28Do you remember?
00:39:28It's me.
00:39:29Hey.
00:39:30How are you here?
00:39:33Oh, I just happened to be passing by my favorite pit stop.
00:39:37Which is why I recommended it to your mother yesterday.
00:39:39Oh, did you?
00:39:40I thought it would be rude if I didn't text him after he gave you his number.
00:39:45Hmm.
00:39:45So, uh, seeing as you're here, Clive and I are playing at a festival nearby, so it would
00:39:50be great if you two came through.
00:39:52Oh.
00:39:52We have a lot of driving to do today, Mother.
00:39:56So, I just don't know that we have time.
00:39:59Come on. It'll be fun.
00:40:00You can leave immediately after we finish playing, and I will play so fast.
00:40:04Just for you.
00:40:09Sure.
00:40:10Okay.
00:40:10Good.
00:40:10Good.
00:40:11Great.
00:40:11Woo!
00:40:11Good.
00:40:12All right.
00:40:12Uh, Clive is waiting in the van, so, uh, I will text you the address.
00:40:17Okay.
00:40:17Great.
00:40:18Thank you very much.
00:40:18And, uh, may I?
00:40:20Yep.
00:40:21We'll see you later.
00:40:21Okay.
00:40:23Woo-hoo!
00:40:24This is fun.
00:40:25What are you up to?
00:40:28Oh, come on.
00:40:30I can feel it.
00:40:31Ah!
00:40:33Unbelievable.
00:40:43Oh, what great outfit!
00:40:46No, this is not a music festival.
00:40:48Oh, this is gonna be so much fun. I always wanted to be a wench.
00:40:55Oh, I like your cane.
00:40:57Oh, my goodness.
00:40:59What is over here?
00:41:00Is this harvest stuff?
00:41:08Whoa!
00:41:11Wow!
00:41:12On a cold and rainy afternoon, you found my pieces fighting for me.
00:41:21Come back to life.
00:41:25Patially, you're lifting me from my arms.
00:41:29Look at those fingers go.
00:41:32That's why you date guitarists and not drummers.
00:41:35Never drummers.
00:41:37Okay.
00:41:45All right.
00:41:46Thank you very much.
00:41:46That's been our time.
00:41:48Yeah.
00:41:51Mom.
00:41:53What?
00:41:53Mom?
00:41:53No.
00:41:54Mom.
00:41:54I'm just gonna...
00:41:55I'm just gonna be a sec.
00:41:57Okay?
00:41:59Hey.
00:42:00Hey.
00:42:02Hey.
00:42:02Hey.
00:42:02That was great.
00:42:03Hey.
00:42:04I mean, really, really great.
00:42:07Aw, thanks so much.
00:42:08And thank you so much for coming.
00:42:09Oh, yeah.
00:42:10We would certainly not forbear it, good sir.
00:42:14Okay.
00:42:15It's a little renaissance fair shakes.
00:42:18Okay.
00:42:18You know, we wouldn't have missed it.
00:42:20Yeah.
00:42:21And, uh, look, I know you said you had to hit the road or whatever, but this is a really
00:42:26cool place, and, uh, I don't know, did you want to maybe take a walk, check it out,
00:42:30and catch up?
00:42:32I do.
00:42:33Um, it's just we...
00:42:35Well, we have a schedule, and I can't really abandon my mom.
00:42:38Oh, no.
00:42:40How would I ever find shelter or ale without my daughter?
00:42:45Well...
00:42:46Honey, I know you think you have to take care of me, but you don't, because I'm older than
00:42:50you.
00:42:51Barely.
00:42:52Mm-hmm.
00:42:54Why don't you kids go have some fun and make me a gramby?
00:42:57Mom!
00:42:58Oh, come on, we're at a ren fair.
00:43:00Just go plunder each other's booty.
00:43:02Wow.
00:43:02Please, ignore her.
00:43:03Okay, let's go.
00:43:04Okay.
00:43:09Clive, is it?
00:43:11Yes.
00:43:12Come on, Clive.
00:43:12Let's go find a cup of mead.
00:43:14Yeah, okay.
00:43:17Let's do it.
00:43:18Let's see what you got, Katniss Aberdeen.
00:43:20Just give it a little...
00:43:22Pull it back a little bit.
00:43:23Pull back.
00:43:23You got this.
00:43:24You got this.
00:43:26And...
00:43:29Not bad.
00:43:30Wait.
00:43:30Same time.
00:43:31Ready?
00:43:31Uh-huh.
00:43:31Okay, go.
00:43:32One, two, three.
00:43:43Two.
00:43:45Oh, your lap is so comfy.
00:43:50Whoa.
00:43:51I look like a princess.
00:43:53You absolutely do.
00:43:54Oh, Jesus.
00:43:56Oh, cool.
00:43:58Oh, ooh.
00:43:59Oh, ooh!
00:44:10Thanks for inviting me, I'm my mom.
00:44:12Of course.
00:44:13This is fun.
00:44:14You two seem close.
00:44:17I didn't mean to open up a can of worms.
00:44:19That wasn't a trick question.
00:44:21It's okay.
00:44:22My mom and I are a work in progress.
00:44:25How so?
00:44:26Do you want the real answer or...
00:44:30The real answer.
00:44:31It's sort of like my whole life I have been her single mom.
00:44:36And if I recall, your father wasn't around, right?
00:44:39Yeah.
00:44:39Sorry to bring that up.
00:44:40It's okay.
00:44:41You can't miss what you don't know.
00:44:43Not that I have, like, crazy daddy issues or something.
00:44:47I'm sorry, I've got bad news.
00:44:48You are at a renaissance fair.
00:44:51On a date with a guy from a band.
00:44:53You have got daddy issues.
00:44:54Okay, okay, I see your point.
00:44:58This is a date, right?
00:45:01Good sir.
00:45:03I do not share a turkey leg with just anyone.
00:45:07Okay, well, I'm very happy to hear that.
00:45:09Now, if only we had some desserts, like a huge stack of mini powdered donuts.
00:45:14You like those?
00:45:15They're the best dessert, easily.
00:45:16Top ten.
00:45:17I know.
00:45:17They're the greatest.
00:45:18Incredible.
00:45:18Top two.
00:45:19My favorite.
00:45:19And they're not two.
00:45:21Wow.
00:45:23And just to put your mind at ease, I grew up in a household with a happily married couple,
00:45:27and look how that worked out.
00:45:29I live in a van, and my parents don't return my phone calls.
00:45:31Really?
00:45:32Yeah.
00:45:34I'm so sorry.
00:45:35Why?
00:45:36I did the whole law school thing, got a great job at a great firm, and I was miserable.
00:45:43And one day I was going to work, and there was a homeless gentleman playing some music.
00:45:48I was so jealous that he got to sing, and I was stuck writing NDAs for diaper companies.
00:45:55So I gave him all the money I had in my pocket, and I quit.
00:46:00Wow.
00:46:01That's how it happened.
00:46:03Mm-hmm.
00:46:04How about you?
00:46:04I bet you're doing something amazing.
00:46:06I was so intimidated by you in high school.
00:46:08What?
00:46:09Yeah.
00:46:09You were?
00:46:10Obviously.
00:46:11Okay.
00:46:12Brilliant.
00:46:13Creative.
00:46:14Beautiful.
00:46:15I was shaking in my orthopedic sneakers every time you walked by.
00:46:19Well, that is very sweet.
00:46:21I'm going to disappoint you.
00:46:23I don't think so.
00:46:24I work in HR now.
00:46:26It is very...
00:46:28whatever.
00:46:32If you think it's whatever, then you should do something else.
00:46:37Like quit my job and become a singer?
00:46:40I'm just saying that you should go after whatever you want,
00:46:44because you are too amazing to settle for anything less.
00:47:02What I want is to go back to your van.
00:47:07Really?
00:47:10Really.
00:47:23We fell asleep.
00:47:25Mm-hmm.
00:47:26Oh.
00:47:27Oh, no.
00:47:28Hi.
00:47:29Hi.
00:47:30I left my mom alone all night.
00:47:32Um, okay.
00:47:34Uh, oh, my God.
00:47:36I can't believe we did that last night.
00:47:37I can't believe I did that last night.
00:47:39Did what?
00:47:40Because there was...
00:47:41We did a lot last night.
00:47:43Uh, wait.
00:47:46Um, my mother.
00:47:49Um.
00:47:50When, uh, when can I see you again?
00:47:52You want to see me again.
00:47:54Yeah.
00:47:55Do you, uh, do you want to see me again?
00:48:02Yeah.
00:48:11How about, uh, just off the top of my head about a buffalo, maybe?
00:48:17Oh?
00:48:17Yeah.
00:48:18Yeah, you're going to be there with your mom, right?
00:48:21And we'll be passing through.
00:48:23Oh!
00:48:23Ah!
00:48:24Ah!
00:48:25Ah!
00:48:29Ah!
00:48:29Ah!
00:48:29Ah!
00:48:33The mailbox belonging to Jeannie Anderson is full.
00:48:36It's full.
00:48:37Come on, Mom.
00:48:40Okay.
00:48:41Hi!
00:48:42Alice!
00:48:43Hi.
00:48:43I have really big news and...
00:48:46Hold on.
00:48:47Did you get laid?
00:48:48You're glowing.
00:48:49Yeah.
00:48:51Last night, a guy I went to high school with, I slept in his van.
00:48:56I mean, wow.
00:48:57That is something that I would do, and that's not a compliment.
00:49:00I know!
00:49:01Well, listen, it's going to be hard to be a groupie when they promote you.
00:49:06What do you know?
00:49:08I mean, I may have accidentally eavesdropped on a certain meeting where they were talking
00:49:12about a director position, and you don't look excited.
00:49:15No, I am.
00:49:16I just...
00:49:19I'm just starting to wonder if I want to be an HR for the rest of my life.
00:49:23Babe, I've been waiting for you to say that for two years now.
00:49:29So you don't think I'm crazy if I pass on the promotion?
00:49:32No, I don't think you're crazy.
00:49:34But speaking of crazy, how goes Operation Wedding Crash?
00:49:38Oh.
00:49:39I'm starting to feel so guilty, actually.
00:49:41We're having so much fun together.
00:49:43And I...
00:49:44I don't know.
00:49:45Maybe she's not this train wreck I always think she is, or...
00:49:49that she definitely used to be.
00:49:51Okay, so you are sleeping in a van, prioritizing work-life balance, and giving Jeannie the benefit
00:49:57of the dough.
00:49:58Who are you?
00:50:00I don't know.
00:50:01New Alice.
00:50:02I can't wait to meet her.
00:50:04Bye.
00:50:09Oh.
00:50:10Hello?
00:50:13She did what?
00:50:15No, I'm...
00:50:16I'm coming right now.
00:50:19I know you're the professionals, but trust me.
00:50:23It's circle, circle, flick, nibble.
00:50:28Blammo!
00:50:30There's our favorite inmate.
00:50:32Oh, Officer Fred.
00:50:34Hi, sweetie.
00:50:36How are you?
00:50:37Uh, not great.
00:50:39You broke into someone's house and fell asleep on their couch?
00:50:42What were you doing?
00:50:43I had to pee after drinking all day with Clive, and the bathrooms were out of order.
00:50:48So you broke into someone's house?
00:50:50You're lucky the homeowners don't want to press charges.
00:50:54Oh, you see?
00:50:55So it's no big deal.
00:50:56It is a big deal.
00:50:58Breaking and entering is literally a big deal.
00:51:01There are consequences for your actions.
00:51:04I mean, not in this case, I understand, but normally in the real world, come on.
00:51:09Okay, there's no need to be so dramatic.
00:51:12I mean, it's not like anyone got hurt.
00:51:15I got hurt.
00:51:17I am hurt.
00:51:20Do you not understand that worrying about you hurts me?
00:51:24Worrying all the time, not knowing if you're okay, following you around, cleaning up all of your messes.
00:51:29I haven't had a day to be irresponsible ever.
00:51:33I had one night of fun and you're in jail.
00:51:35You think that's dramatic?
00:51:37Alice, that's not fair.
00:51:38The thing about our relationship is fair.
00:51:44I actually can't believe I thought things were changing.
00:51:49So, there's some paperwork that needs to be filled out.
00:51:53Yeah, I'll handle it.
00:51:55I always handle it.
00:51:56Have fun saying goodbye to all your fancy new friends.
00:52:00Ladies.
00:52:16Oh, yeah.
00:52:18Also took the liberty of charging Mrs. Anderson's cell phone for her after we used it to play heads up.
00:52:24You played games in jail?
00:52:26Your mom talked us into it.
00:52:29We had a blast.
00:52:32Bet there's never a dull moment with her around, is there?
00:52:35No, there isn't.
00:52:38Okay.
00:52:39I'll go grab her personals and bring her out.
00:52:41Okay, thanks.
00:52:48Hello?
00:52:49Jeannie Bean.
00:52:51Oh, wait, no.
00:52:53This is Alice.
00:52:54My mom can't come to the phone right now.
00:52:57Well, I've been calling her all night.
00:52:59You see, all right?
00:53:00See, I got to get her opinion on the location for suds and swigs.
00:53:06Suds and swigs?
00:53:08Yeah.
00:53:09See, that's the business we're starting.
00:53:11It's a laundromat that's also a bar.
00:53:14Now, listen up.
00:53:16Get this.
00:53:16You ready?
00:53:18Get your clothes washed while you get sloshed.
00:53:22Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:53:23It's catchy, right?
00:53:25Mm, genius.
00:53:27See, only thing is, she's got to apply for the liquor license.
00:53:31I can't legally do it, even though that incident was 30 frickin' years ago.
00:53:38Wayne?
00:53:40Yeah.
00:53:43The reason my mom can't come to the phone right now is because she met someone else.
00:53:47I'm sorry.
00:53:49It's over.
00:53:50Hold on.
00:53:51Hold on here.
00:53:53That can't be.
00:53:54You see, we're soulmates.
00:53:56You know, we're two sunny bunnies and a honey hunt.
00:53:58I understand that this is, um, probably hard to hear, but, you know, she and, uh, Daryl are very much
00:54:08in love.
00:54:08They're just so very happy together, and she didn't know how to tell you, because she does really care about
00:54:13you, but the wedding is off.
00:54:15I'm sorry.
00:54:16Goodbye.
00:54:18Daryl.
00:54:19Daryl.
00:54:20What kind of name is Daryl?
00:54:23I'll be a monkey rumble.
00:54:39Oh, no.
00:54:40Oh, God.
00:54:41Daryl.
00:54:41Sweet freedom.
00:54:43I've got your phone.
00:54:46Mm-hmm.
00:54:49Okay.
00:54:51Let's see.
00:54:54Okay, I think everything is here.
00:54:58We're all set.
00:54:59Okay, great.
00:55:00Oh!
00:55:00What is that?
00:55:02It's Queenie, I told you.
00:55:04You got her stuffed?
00:55:06Well, I couldn't say goodbye to this wittle face.
00:55:10No!
00:55:12Has she been with you this whole time?
00:55:15I told you that.
00:55:17I thought you meant you were bringing her ashes.
00:55:20Ew.
00:55:21No.
00:55:22Was she with us all day at the festival?
00:55:25Well, I couldn't leave her in the hot car.
00:55:27That wouldn't be right.
00:55:29Mom.
00:55:30Also, the rental car would smell like formaldehyde.
00:55:32Ew.
00:55:34Oh, please put her away.
00:55:36I feel like she's staring at me.
00:55:39I'm sorry, sweetie.
00:55:42Aw.
00:55:42Aw.
00:55:46Are you still mad at me, sweetie?
00:55:48Let's just forget about it.
00:55:49We have a long day ahead of us.
00:55:57Mm.
00:56:04Ah.
00:56:16Mm.
00:56:17Mm.
00:56:19Mm.
00:56:21Mom, oh, hi.
00:56:27Wait, where are we?
00:56:30Come on, you'll see.
00:56:36We're here because it's part of your history.
00:56:40College is the chapter that you never got to finish.
00:56:43I don't need to finish it.
00:56:45Oh, Mom, your dream was to be a veterinarian.
00:56:47No, and then I got pregnant with you and my dream became being your mom.
00:56:51But I don't want you to give up your dream for me.
00:56:54You could have both.
00:56:56I spoke to the dean and they offer continuing education classes for adults.
00:57:01This could be your next chapter, Mom.
00:57:07Honey, I appreciate what you're trying to do,
00:57:09but I don't have that dream anymore
00:57:11and I don't have very good memories about this place.
00:57:14Yes, Mom, I know leaving here early was hard,
00:57:19but you can come back.
00:57:21You can do this.
00:57:22We're here.
00:57:23Let's go in.
00:57:24For me.
00:57:28What if I run into some of my old classmates?
00:57:31Mom, anyone you went to college with
00:57:34has either graduated, retired, or is dead.
00:57:39Oh, right.
00:57:41Right?
00:57:42Yeah.
00:57:42Okay.
00:57:43Okay.
00:57:44The dean of the veterinary school has office hours today.
00:57:47Getting a brochure can't hurt, right?
00:57:50Sure.
00:57:50We're here anyway.
00:57:51Come on.
00:57:53Just right here.
00:57:54Wait, wait, wait.
00:57:55Oh, Mom.
00:57:57Mom.
00:57:59Can I pet your dog?
00:58:01Okay.
00:58:02Oh!
00:58:04Dean Stevens.
00:58:05Hi.
00:58:07You're a student at the school.
00:58:09Oh, no, I'm not a student.
00:58:11Thank you, though.
00:58:12My mom used to be.
00:58:13Hey, Mom.
00:58:15Mom.
00:58:16Come meet the dean.
00:58:21Peter.
00:58:23Jean?
00:58:24Peter, I had no idea.
00:58:28Oh, I see.
00:58:29He brought her here for what?
00:58:32Guilt?
00:58:32More money?
00:58:34Let's not forget, you're an adult.
00:58:35A legal adult.
00:58:36Alice, we need to go.
00:58:40Jean, I gave you $10,000 to not be involved.
00:58:42We had an agreement.
00:58:44Hey!
00:58:45We don't want your goddamn money.
00:58:48My mom raised me all on her own.
00:58:51Bought us a house on her own.
00:58:53Paid for my college on her own.
00:58:55We don't need anything from you.
00:58:58You?
00:59:22I didn't want you to find out that way.
00:59:26I didn't want you to find out that way.
00:59:31Did you love him?
00:59:35I really thought I did.
00:59:41But then I got pregnant, and I saw the real him.
00:59:44You could have told me who he was.
00:59:49Peter made it very clear that he didn't want contact.
00:59:53Not ever.
00:59:58So, I just decided it was better to lie rather than make you feel unwanted.
01:00:06I understand you wanting to protect me as a child.
01:00:11But when I got older, I didn't know how to tell you.
01:00:18I had already lied for so long.
01:00:21I just...
01:00:24I just thought it was better to leave it alone.
01:00:27Yeah.
01:00:29I...
01:00:30That makes sense.
01:00:37Let's just go to a motel and call it for today.
01:00:41I'm exhausted.
01:00:43Sound good?
01:00:44Okay.
01:00:45Okay.
01:01:05I've tried Wayne six times, and it still says it's not in service.
01:01:10Huh.
01:01:11I mean, he does use a pay-as-you-go, so he probably just hasn't had time to get a
01:01:16new card.
01:01:17Running around, getting ready for the wedding.
01:01:20I mean, I can't believe that's already here.
01:01:22It's tomorrow.
01:01:23Yeah, me neither.
01:01:31Okay, well, I'll go take off my face.
01:01:37Just kidding.
01:01:38I'll keep it.
01:01:47Night.
01:01:48Night.
01:02:17I got it.
01:02:17Okay.
01:02:19I'm supposed to meet Wes at the Canal Park Overlook.
01:02:23If you want to meet me there after.
01:02:25Okay.
01:02:27I thought I'd take pictures with Queenie by the water and try Wayne again.
01:02:33His phone still isn't working, and the wedding's in six hours.
01:02:39But he'll be there.
01:02:40I know he will.
01:02:41So, okay, well, go have fun.
01:02:45Find Wes.
01:02:51Hey.
01:02:52Hey.
01:02:53I'm so happy you're here.
01:02:54Oh, yeah.
01:02:54I was trying to get nervous when I didn't get your text back.
01:02:56Oh, sorry.
01:02:57You're good.
01:02:58Uh, where'd you park your van?
01:03:00Just a few blocks away.
01:03:02Why?
01:03:03Well, let's go.
01:03:04Hey.
01:03:06Wait.
01:03:06You okay?
01:03:07Yeah, I'm fine.
01:03:08Come on.
01:03:09Hey, hey, hey.
01:03:10Look, look.
01:03:10I mean, don't get me wrong.
01:03:12The thought of sleeping together again sounds incredible, but I thought maybe we could,
01:03:15I don't know, go for a walk first?
01:03:17Talk?
01:03:18Hear how you've been?
01:03:19Trust me, you don't want to hear about any of that.
01:03:21Of course I do.
01:03:22Let's just, come on.
01:03:23Alice, stop.
01:03:25Is everything okay?
01:03:26No, it's not.
01:03:28My mom got arrested.
01:03:30What?
01:03:30Because I chose myself for one night, and I hung out with you, and I wasn't watching out for
01:03:35her.
01:03:35Then, I met my long-lost father, who it turns out is really a dick.
01:03:39And my mom has actually known about him my entire life, and chose to keep him a secret
01:03:43from me.
01:03:43So now, Wes, everything is not okay.
01:03:45And I would just love to be distracted and go and have some fun, meaningless sex, because
01:03:50apparently, that's a thing that I do now.
01:03:54Meaningless, I mean.
01:03:56Please don't pretend to be heartbroken about it.
01:03:58I know that's what men want.
01:03:59Sex without commitment.
01:04:01I'm, I'm in.
01:04:02You got it.
01:04:04That's not what I want.
01:04:07Okay.
01:04:09Tell me what you want.
01:04:11Well, well, for starters, how about some clarity with the girl I've liked since the ninth
01:04:15grade?
01:04:15Maybe take her out on a real date?
01:04:18See where things go?
01:04:18Where are things gonna go, Wes?
01:04:22I have a stable, regimented life in St. Louis, and you live in a van.
01:04:26Can we just let this fling be what it is?
01:04:28Can it just be fun?
01:04:30Is that clear enough for you?
01:04:34Yeah.
01:04:37Look, I'm not trying to hurt you.
01:04:39I'm just trying to be realistic.
01:04:41Are you?
01:04:43Or are you just giving up on something before you've even tried because you're too damn scared?
01:04:49I'll see you around.
01:05:04Hi, sweetie.
01:05:07Hi.
01:05:07Where's Wes?
01:05:08Uh, he's gone, Mom.
01:05:11I, I don't want to talk about it.
01:05:12Can we just go?
01:05:13What?
01:05:13Please.
01:05:14Oh, Wayne!
01:05:15Honey, whatever I did, I'm sorry.
01:05:18I just had to come see you.
01:05:20How did you even find us here?
01:05:22Well, we share locations on our phone, just like we share everything.
01:05:26At least we used to.
01:05:28Please, baby, just talk to me.
01:05:29Look, we don't have to start a business.
01:05:32Hell, we don't even have to get hitched today.
01:05:34I just love you so much, baby.
01:05:36I'll do anything.
01:05:37Don't give up on us.
01:05:38Please, baby.
01:05:38I'm just begging you.
01:05:39I'm begging you, please.
01:05:41Honey, you're the one who hasn't called.
01:05:43I've been so worried, and your phone's not working.
01:05:47What you talking about?
01:05:48I called you 14 times yesterday, ever since Alice told me you found someone new.
01:05:54And I'm going to tell you this right now.
01:05:55I will fight this Daryl guy for your love, or form a, uh, a throuple.
01:06:04You told him I met someone else?
01:06:07Wayne, can I have a minute alone with my mom, please?
01:06:10Well, well, well, sure thing, uh, okay, I'll, I'll, I'll be, I'll be back.
01:06:16I'll be back.
01:06:16Don't forget about me.
01:06:17Don't forget about me.
01:06:19Come on, don't go far.
01:06:22Mom, I'm so sorry.
01:06:24I was only trying to protect you from yourself.
01:06:26Well, lying to me is not protecting me.
01:06:30Except for when you do it.
01:06:33Do you have any idea how much it hurts me that you have known who my father is my whole
01:06:38life?
01:06:39All those times I asked you?
01:06:41I'm sorry, honey.
01:06:42I know I made mistakes back then.
01:06:44You're still making them, Mom.
01:06:46And I am trying so hard to help you because I love you.
01:06:49And I love you.
01:06:50But you don't listen.
01:06:51Of course I do.
01:06:52No, you don't.
01:06:53I tried to talk to you about my concerns about Wayne, and you just brushed them off.
01:06:58I planned this entire trip to try to get through to you.
01:07:01To show you that there's a better path for you than marrying some weirdo that you just met
01:07:06whose boozy laundromat is going to bankrupt you.
01:07:09Alice, I know you don't support this, but this is my life.
01:07:15And you have to accept that I'm making good decisions.
01:07:18All that's happened this week is that you're a magnet for bad decisions.
01:07:22And I don't know that I have the energy to keep helping you clean them up anymore.
01:07:26Well, I'm not asking you to, honey.
01:07:30Maybe you just like fixing my life so you don't have to live yours.
01:07:35What?
01:07:36You need to be the new Alice that I've seen coming out of her shell this week.
01:07:40You have to stop playing it safe.
01:07:42You have to have fun.
01:07:43You want me to have fun like you?
01:07:46Honey, I know I haven't always been the best mother, and I wish I had grown up sooner
01:07:52so that you didn't have to, but I have always done right by my daughters.
01:07:58And you and Queenie are just the light...
01:08:01No, Mom.
01:08:02This is not your daughter.
01:08:03This was a dog.
01:08:04This was a dog.
01:08:06I am not a dog.
01:08:07I am your daughter.
01:08:09Queenie!
01:08:10Oh.
01:08:12Oh, my God.
01:08:13Mom, I didn't mean to do that.
01:08:15She threw a puppy into the river.
01:08:18No, I didn't.
01:08:19Well, I mean, I did, but it wasn't alive.
01:08:23It was stuffed.
01:08:23It was dead before.
01:08:25Oh, my God.
01:08:26I can't do this.
01:08:28Mom, I can't do this.
01:08:29I...
01:08:30It hurts me too much to watch you throw your life away.
01:08:32I have to go.
01:08:33I'm sorry.
01:08:35Alice!
01:08:49Hello?
01:08:51Alice, it's Cheryl.
01:08:53When will you be here?
01:08:54I'm not coming.
01:08:55What?
01:08:56You're the maid of honor.
01:08:59I know.
01:09:00Mom and I had a big fight, and I'm not coming.
01:09:03Oh, my God.
01:09:04Listen, I knew that she was eventually gonna blow up at you for your mind-gamey, don't-get-married road
01:09:09trip.
01:09:10Wait.
01:09:11She knew?
01:09:13The whole time?
01:09:14You're about as subtle as a yeast infection.
01:09:16Jeannie told me about it, you know, when you two were here.
01:09:19But she swore that it was all worth it, but, you know, to spend all that time with you.
01:09:24You're really not coming to your own mother's wedding?
01:09:26No.
01:09:28I don't know what to tell you, Cheryl.
01:09:29I give up, okay?
01:09:31I'm going to return the rental car.
01:09:33I'm flying back to St. Louis.
01:09:35I doubt she even wants me there anyway.
01:09:37She loves you, you know?
01:09:38She loves you more than anything.
01:09:40I give what I couldn't give.
01:09:47Uh...
01:09:50You know the movie Cars?
01:09:52I know it's not real, but I think this one felt pain.
01:09:57The good thing is I did get the insurance.
01:10:00Hold on.
01:10:01I guess that's good.
01:10:02I have it here somewhere.
01:10:14I know it's not real.
01:10:35I actually need the car for one more day.
01:10:38I have to be safe.
01:10:38Oh, no, I can't do that, miss.
01:10:40Look at this thing.
01:10:40It's a liability issue.
01:10:42That's okay.
01:10:43Just rent me something else.
01:10:44Please.
01:10:45Oh, no.
01:10:46All our other cars are booked.
01:10:47All of these cars are booked?
01:10:49You want another car?
01:10:50Look at what you did to one of our best cars.
01:10:53I know.
01:10:59I know.
01:11:01I know I did a bad thing.
01:11:06I was kind of a bad girl.
01:11:09But if you, if you could help me out, I promise you, I will take such good care of her.
01:11:19I just need her for just one more day.
01:11:24Keith?
01:11:26Keith, is it?
01:11:28This is a powerful name.
01:11:30Yeah, it's Celtic.
01:11:33Really?
01:11:34It means wood.
01:11:36Celtic Keith.
01:11:38So big and strong.
01:11:40Could you please just be powerful for me and help me out?
01:11:47All right.
01:11:50I'm going to have to run it by my boss.
01:11:52Or.
01:11:54Or.
01:11:58We.
01:12:02We could keep this between you and me.
01:12:08Oh.
01:12:10Oh.
01:12:11Oh.
01:12:11Oh.
01:12:12Oh.
01:12:12You like to party.
01:12:14Yeah.
01:12:14I do.
01:12:15Sometimes.
01:12:16I'm cool.
01:12:17Thank you, Keith.
01:12:19Bye, miss.
01:12:19Bye.
01:12:21Oh, I gotta call mom.
01:12:25Hey, mom?
01:12:34I have lived a lonely life.
01:12:39Keith.
01:12:41Where are we?
01:12:46Oh.
01:12:47No.
01:12:48No.
01:12:50No.
01:12:50No.
01:12:51No.
01:12:52No.
01:12:52No.
01:12:52No.
01:12:53No.
01:12:54You should have listened to Keith.
01:12:55No.
01:12:57No, no, no, no, no.
01:12:59No.
01:13:00Ow!
01:13:02Oh, ho, ho, ho.
01:13:03Yes.
01:13:04Say it, my baby.
01:13:06Oh, ho, ho, ho.
01:13:07Oh, ho, ho, ho.
01:13:09Oh.
01:13:11Oh, I'm coming, mom.
01:13:14Oh, my God.
01:13:16You see this girl?
01:13:17Oh, my girl.
01:13:19You're up.
01:13:19You.
01:13:20What?
01:13:27Oh.
01:13:31Today, we join in marriage.
01:13:34Jeannie Anderson and Wayne Fuji.
01:13:38Who?
01:13:39Wayne, do you have the rings?
01:13:44Hold up.
01:13:45Got you.
01:13:46Put it on your dainty little finger.
01:13:48Do you, Wayne Fuji, take Jeannie Anderson to be your loving wife?
01:13:57Hell to the year.
01:13:59Huh?
01:14:00I am not afraid.
01:14:03There is strength in change.
01:14:06And do you, Jeannie Anderson, take Wayne Fuji to be your loving husband?
01:14:13And I...
01:14:15I...
01:14:15With one hand on your hand...
01:14:16Wait!
01:14:17Wait!
01:14:18Oh!
01:14:19Alice, you're here!
01:14:21Yeah.
01:14:22Wait!
01:14:22To object?
01:14:23No, I'm here to support.
01:14:25Oh.
01:14:26I'm sorry I'm late, Mom.
01:14:27That's okay.
01:14:28You're here.
01:14:29That's all that matters.
01:14:30I love you so much.
01:14:31I love you, too.
01:14:32I wouldn't miss this for the world.
01:14:34I mean, how often does my mom get married?
01:14:36Not counting the leaves.
01:14:38I'm really sorry that I lied to you both.
01:14:40I, um...
01:14:42No, honey.
01:14:43I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about your dad.
01:14:45And for not realizing how much I put on you all those years.
01:14:50Why don't we call it even?
01:14:51Since I launched Queenie into the river.
01:14:54Um, speaking of...
01:14:57Apparently you can adopt a dog in Buffalo in five minutes.
01:15:01Oh, my goodness.
01:15:02Who is this angel?
01:15:04This is a wedding present and an apology.
01:15:08I have filled out all of the adoption papers and paid all of the fees.
01:15:11So all you have to do is name him.
01:15:14I'm going to name him Kingie.
01:15:16Okay.
01:15:17Oh, I love him.
01:15:19Thank you, sweetheart.
01:15:20You know me so well.
01:15:21You're welcome.
01:15:21I love you, Mom.
01:15:23Okay.
01:15:24Okay.
01:15:27Honey, what's wrong?
01:15:29I'm sorry, darling, but...
01:15:30Sweetheart, I apologize, but don't you remember at their treat?
01:15:34I told you that I was allergic to doggies.
01:15:36I just thought that was a sick, dark joke.
01:15:40Hold up.
01:15:42Gather yourself, Wayne.
01:15:43Here's the thing.
01:15:44I'm going to take the Benadryl.
01:15:46I'm going to take the Claritin.
01:15:47I'm going to even get the steroids.
01:15:49If I can't get them, I'm going to find them.
01:15:51Oh, yeah.
01:15:52Because I love you.
01:15:53I love you, and I'll do anything for you.
01:15:55A puppy, a doggy, whatever you want.
01:15:57I love you.
01:15:58Please continue.
01:15:59Cheryl.
01:15:59All righty, then.
01:16:01Jeannie, do you take Ray?
01:16:02No, wait a second.
01:16:03I cannot do this to this man.
01:16:05I love you, honey.
01:16:08Oh, Kingy, I'm sorry, but I love this human man so much, and clearly he would do anything
01:16:17for me.
01:16:18And I'm trying to be more responsible like my daughter.
01:16:22So, Kingy, I'm going to have to find you a new home.
01:16:25No, no, no.
01:16:26I object.
01:16:28Oh, no, not to this.
01:16:29I just mean I'll take the dog.
01:16:31Oh, Alice, you don't have to do that.
01:16:32I got it.
01:16:34New Alice, remember?
01:16:35Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you.
01:16:38Look at me.
01:16:39I'm a...
01:16:40I got a dog.
01:16:41Okay.
01:16:42In conclusion, Jeannie Anderson, do you take Wayne Fuji to be your loving husband?
01:16:51I do.
01:16:52I do.
01:16:54I do, I do, I do, I do.
01:16:56Then I pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss me, okay, kiss away.
01:17:01Woo!
01:17:03Woo!
01:17:04Mom!
01:17:05Woo!
01:17:06Dream come true.
01:17:07Dream come true.
01:17:08Dream come true.
01:17:09Let's party now!
01:17:11Party!
01:17:12Woo-hoo!
01:17:13Hallelujah.
01:17:14Hey, there's my maid of honor.
01:17:16Hey, baby.
01:17:17Hi.
01:17:18Hey, who invited you?
01:17:20Ha, ha, ha.
01:17:23Congratulations, Mom.
01:17:25You look so beautiful.
01:17:27Aw, thank you, honey.
01:17:28Where's Kingy?
01:17:29Oh, um, Aunt Cheryl said she wanted to take him for a swim on the dance floor.
01:17:34Oh!
01:17:35Yeah.
01:17:39Are you all right?
01:17:41I know you didn't really want this for me.
01:17:45Mom, I am so happy for you.
01:17:48Truly.
01:17:49I just...
01:17:51I'm realizing that I want this, too.
01:17:56You want a wedding in Buffalo?
01:17:57No.
01:17:58But love.
01:18:00To be with someone who would do anything for me, like Wayne will for you.
01:18:05It...
01:18:06It's really special.
01:18:09And I think I had a shot at it, but I got scared.
01:18:13I don't want to be scared all the time anymore.
01:18:17Wes was pretty special, Mom.
01:18:20Yeah, I was.
01:18:24Well, maybe you'll run into him sometime, and then you never know what will happen.
01:18:30I don't know what will happen.
01:18:31No, I'm pretty sure he hates me.
01:18:33Hmm.
01:18:34I'm not so sure about that.
01:18:42I hired them as the wedding band.
01:18:46What are you waiting for?
01:18:48Go get him.
01:18:49Yeah.
01:18:51Huh.
01:18:55Hey, I know that I was a jerk, and I said some pretty awful things, but I really, really
01:19:02like you.
01:19:03And that's a little scary for me.
01:19:05That never happens to me, because I never let it happen.
01:19:07And I don't want to pull back this time with you, so would you maybe give me a second chance?
01:19:18We can see where this thing goes.
01:19:22Yeah, it's a date.
01:19:24Yeah?
01:19:25Yeah.
01:19:27Okay.
01:19:30Okay.
01:19:36Woo!
01:19:37Hi, Mom.
01:19:39Yep.
01:19:45Who is it?
01:19:47It's me, Mom.
01:19:49Woo!
01:19:49Woo!
01:19:50Wow.
01:19:51Hi.
01:19:52What happened in there?
01:19:54Oh, honey.
01:19:56Marriage is bliss.
01:19:57Mom!
01:19:58Mom, I'm so happy you're happy.
01:19:59Is that Alice?
01:20:01Oh!
01:20:01It's Alice, honey.
01:20:03Oh, no.
01:20:04Hey!
01:20:05Hi!
01:20:06Hi!
01:20:06Hi!
01:20:07Can I have a moment with you right now?
01:20:09Uh-huh.
01:20:10Yeah.
01:20:11I am so psyched to be part of your life.
01:20:14Thanks.
01:20:16That's really sweet.
01:20:18I'm really happy to have you in my life.
01:20:20Oh, thank you.
01:20:21It's my Wayne.
01:20:23Really?
01:20:24Yeah.
01:20:25And, um, hey, for what it's worth, I actually think your boozy laundromat is a really good
01:20:32idea.
01:20:32Really?
01:20:33Why don't you come on in?
01:20:35We'll order some grub.
01:20:36We'll hang out.
01:20:37We've got a big screen TV.
01:20:39Um, it's getting pretty close to checkout time, and...
01:20:44Um, honey, I know we talked about flying back together.
01:20:49You want to change the plan?
01:20:51I do.
01:20:51I-I swear, I am gonna work on being more stable.
01:20:55Mom, it's okay.
01:20:56I actually want to change the plan, too.
01:20:58Uh, you do?
01:20:59Yeah.
01:21:00Um, last night, Wes invited me on tour with the band.
01:21:05Just a couple weeks.
01:21:07But I've never taken a trip that wasn't for work till now.
01:21:11And I want to do something for me.
01:21:13Yeah!
01:21:14And what about your job?
01:21:15Well, I have my laptop with me, and if they don't like that, I'm... okay with it.
01:21:22Oh, honey, that is so irresponsible.
01:21:25I am so proud of you.
01:21:30I'm gonna make you a promise.
01:21:32I will not put the house on the market until you return.
01:21:36Then we will go through it all together,
01:21:39and we can organize it or whatever your cute little type A-green wants.
01:21:44That really means a lot to me, Mom.
01:21:47Come here.
01:21:48Oh, come here.
01:21:48Oh, group hug!
01:21:50Okay.
01:21:51Okay.
01:21:52All right.
01:21:53I love you!
01:21:53Okay, bye!
01:21:54I love you.
01:22:05You good to go?
01:22:06Yeah.
01:22:09Hello.
01:22:10You ready to go?
01:22:14Hey, Clive.
01:22:16You ready to go?
01:22:17Yup.
01:22:17You ready to go?
01:22:18Okay.
01:22:19Good.
01:22:21Okay.
01:22:21Let's go.
01:22:22All right.
01:22:24All right.
01:22:27So, Rochester's the next stop.
01:22:29What's after that?
01:22:30After that, we play it by ear.
01:22:32Cool.
01:22:32I love that.
01:22:33Just see where the wind takes us.
01:22:35It's killing you, isn't it?
01:22:36100%.
01:22:36So, last night, I actually came up with a potential schedule.
01:22:40It's really loose.
01:22:41This is color-coded by hour.
01:22:43No, no.
01:22:43See, these two hours right here, those are scheduled, unscheduled free time.
01:22:48You're insane.
01:22:50You know that, right?
01:22:50Yeah, I get it from my mom.
01:23:08You're sick of six life on the storm.
01:23:13This is a small surge area.
01:23:15I was bored.
01:23:20See you soon.
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