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Wizards Of Waverly Place 1x17 Report Card [Full Movie] [Ranked]Full EP - Full
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00:08Okay, last question.
00:11Bat wings, dragon scales, and fruit punch make what kind of potion?
00:16A, invisibility, B, skin of steel, C, a refreshing fruit smoothie.
00:23Got it.
00:25Does he have to say got it after every question?
00:27It's throwing me off on my exam.
00:30Um, we're taking an exam?
00:37Time. Pencils down. Last exam section. Grab your wands and line up.
00:42You have to use the transfiguration spell to change one of these guinea pigs into a white dove.
00:49Okay, Justin, you're up.
00:54This guinea pig is now not a dove with wings should fill its slot.
00:59Oh, very good, Justin.
01:03Alex, you're up.
01:05Oh, okay.
01:07Um, this guinea pig is now not a dove with wings should fill its slot.
01:17Oh, it's a pretty dove.
01:21Oh, it's a pretty dove.
01:23No?
01:24Oh, it's a pretty brick.
01:28You weren't concentrating. Max, you're up.
01:35This guinea pig is now not a dove with wings should fill its slot.
01:45I said snot, didn't I?
01:49Okay, everybody record your transfiguration results in your midterm exam text booklets.
01:58I don't know why you guys even bother taking the test. We all know that I'm the one that's going
02:03to win the family wizard contest and keep my powers.
02:06That's not for a long while, Justin.
02:09And what if they change the rules so only girls keep their powers?
02:12Oh, wait. You still might win.
02:16Oh, Alex, you're so transparent.
02:19You know that I'm better than you at magic, so you have to lash out and make fun of me.
02:23And you don't take any of this magic seriously.
02:25I can't take you seriously. Use big words like transparent. What are you, British?
02:34No?
02:36But I am.
02:38Professor Crumbs, always nice to see you.
02:41Oh, the beard is coming in nicely.
02:46Jerry, I knew your father when this was just a soul patch for the lovely witches.
02:58I'm here to collect your exams and take him back to whiz tech.
03:06Why doesn't Dad just create our papers?
03:08So that no one will get better grades just by batting their eyes and trying to look cute.
03:15Are you talking about me?
03:19Alex, you're doing it right now.
03:26Well, you know, everything's gonna be a breeze.
03:29At the end, no doubt, just to buy the names.
03:31Can fix any problem with the slightest ease.
03:33Yes, please.
03:35But you might find out it'll go to your head.
03:38When you write a report on a book you never read.
03:40With a snap of your fingers, you can make you better.
03:43That's why I said everything is not what it seems.
03:49When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams.
03:53You might run into trouble if you go to extremes.
03:58Because everything is not what it seems.
04:03Everything is not what it seems.
04:07When you can have what you want and bad that's simplest to mean.
04:12Be careful not to mess with the balance of things.
04:16Because everything is not what it seems.
04:30Wizard report cards are here.
04:33Oh, you sound excited.
04:35You must feel confident you did well.
04:37Oh.
04:39Wizard report cards are here.
04:44You first.
04:52Max Russo, your exam results plus your coursework equals a solid C+.
04:58You are totally average.
05:01Cool.
05:06Sweet.
05:06I got a C.
05:15Alex Russo, your exam results plus the homework you're handing in on greasy napkins
05:21that smelled like shrimp all equals a...
05:26And the...
05:28Is a low...
05:31Excuse me.
05:32I turned a guinea pig into a very solid brick,
05:36which I think is a much more effective symbol for peace.
05:40Please have your parents sign me
05:42so I can return to Wizard Tech and receive my payment.
05:46I have to make a living.
05:49All right, look.
05:50That's gonna happen.
05:51No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
05:54I got children to laminate.
05:57Uh, what are you gonna do?
05:59Mom and Dad need to sign them.
06:00Well, they can't sign something that never got here.
06:04But it got here.
06:05No, it didn't.
06:06Yes, it did.
06:06Yes, it did.
06:07No, it didn't.
06:08What are we talking about?
06:09I don't know.
06:09Perfect.
06:13Oh, the report cards are here.
06:16I gotta make a copy for my new frame.
06:26Justin Russo, your exam results plus your coursework
06:31equals all A's and one B plus in rhyming charms.
06:36You're the smart one.
06:39B plus?
06:40I can't put this in the frame.
06:44What a shame.
06:46See?
06:46I got a game.
06:47This grade is lame.
06:50Oh, I got a good rhyme.
06:52Corn.
06:53And?
06:55Oh, I panicked.
07:07Oh, I love it in there.
07:10It smells like popcorn.
07:15Why don't you hush?
07:17I thought I threw you away.
07:18You can't throw me away.
07:20I need a parent to sign me.
07:22And preferably with a nice, soft tip pen.
07:28See you later, honey.
07:29I'll be back in an hour.
07:35Going for a jog.
07:38Are you doing the dishes?
07:42Uh, yeah, sure.
07:48Oh, I know what you're doing.
07:49You're afraid of what's going to happen
07:51when your report card gets here,
07:52so you're trying to be extra good.
07:54Yep.
07:55You always know what I'm up to, Dad.
08:05I'm back!
08:10Well, let's see if you keep talking
08:12when you're full of hot sauce.
08:14Ow!
08:15Ow!
08:15That is hot!
08:16Ow!
08:17Ow!
08:18Ow!
08:18Ow!
08:22You know what?
08:23I feel bad for you.
08:25I'm going to tell you
08:26how to get rid of a bad report card.
08:29Really?
08:29How?
08:30Get good grades.
08:34Oh, now you've paid twice.
08:37Four times.
08:39Sixteen!
08:40Thirty-two!
08:42Fifty-four!
08:44Alex, what are you doing?
08:47Mom!
08:48That was just confetti for the parade.
08:53There's no parade.
08:56Not yet, but there will be.
08:59And how proud are we going to be
09:02when we're the first ones
09:03to throw the confetti?
09:05My guess, pretty proud.
09:09You know what?
09:10I've got a magazine and an iced tea.
09:12I'm good with whatever you're up to.
09:24Hey, is that the new issue
09:25of Urban Church Gardening?
09:26You've been waiting for that.
09:28Alex!
09:31Oh!
09:32I got to the corner
09:34and I realized I forgot to stretch.
09:36And it's hot.
09:40I think I'll start jogging in the fall.
09:48What'd you say, Alex?
09:49No, I got nothing.
09:52Alex, it's not very ladylike
09:54to talk with your mouth full.
10:02What's that?
10:07These parents are now not...
10:09What are you doing?
10:09To get eviction for their slut!
10:17What did I just do?
10:18I panicked.
10:19I had to buy myself more time.
10:21To do what?
10:22To panic!
10:29I still don't know
10:30why you'd spend your entire savings
10:32on a giant blow-up exercise ball.
10:35It's for exercise?
10:39Oh, man, I was going to blow this up
10:41and walk across the ocean in it.
10:44That is exercise, Maxie.
10:48Oh, man!
10:53Cool, guinea pigs.
10:55Can I raise them?
10:56No.
10:57I'm still working on
10:59Dad's transfiguration spell,
11:01and these guinea pigs
11:01have to stay in their cage
11:02no matter what.
11:03Fine, I'll just go ask Mom and Dad.
11:06Mom and Dad aren't here
11:08because they went to
11:09an emergency sandwich shop convention.
11:15Emergency sandwich shop convention.
11:17Yeah, you know how you were all tweaked
11:19because sandwich wraps
11:20are really tortillas
11:22and they don't get enough credit?
11:23Well, people are finally
11:25getting behind that.
11:27Yes!
11:27My email campaign worked!
11:30Wait, now get out of here, you guys.
11:32I'm having my AP biology friends
11:34over to watch the new episode
11:35of Volcano Discovery in high def.
11:38I don't want you guys to embarrass me.
11:43We are not the embarrassing part
11:45of what you just said.
11:53That was the best
11:54Volcano special ever!
11:57The high def made it seem like
11:59the volcano was right
12:00in your living room.
12:01Oh, which, geologically speaking,
12:03would be a statistical improbability
12:06along the lines of there being, um,
12:08a snowstorm in the Sahara Desert?
12:10Oh, you got me!
12:13Good nerd burn!
12:14Oh!
12:19Well, I'm off to the park
12:22to bury something.
12:24Oh, a time capsule?
12:27Yeah, sure, that.
12:29I love doing that!
12:31You should put a cell phone in it,
12:32call it, and leave it a voicemail
12:34so that way someone in the future
12:35can pick it up.
12:37Oh, no.
12:38Actually, people take my calls now.
12:47Harper, what are you doing here?
12:50I heard about Justin's big party,
12:52and I've been working up the nerve
12:53to crash it.
12:54Oh, oh.
12:56I've been working up the nerve to leave.
12:57Oh, look!
12:57I did it!
13:02Hey, everyone.
13:04It's the volcanoes, huh?
13:06That's a hot topic.
13:08Am I right?
13:14Volcanoes, they're hot.
13:17We're off volcanoes.
13:21Now we're debating who's smarter,
13:23a 12-year-old boy
13:24or a common guinea pig.
13:26Oh, I'm on Justin's side.
13:28Which side are you on, Justin?
13:31As always, I'm on the side of science.
13:37This calls for an experiment.
13:47This was so totally worth my allowance.
13:50I'm gonna use it forever.
13:53Okay.
13:54When Harper says go,
13:56you'll both try and make your way
13:58to the sack of cheese slices
13:59located outside the subway car.
14:053, 2, 1.
14:09Go!
14:23I hate this thing.
14:35Alex's guinea pigs
14:36are getting to the West
14:37Alex's guinea pigs.
14:38I knew if I had a party
14:40without parental supervision,
14:41this would get out of hand.
14:44Oh, Alex's is gonna freak out.
14:48Unless we buy
14:49two more guinea pigs
14:50at the pet store.
14:51Good thinking.
14:52Treat.
14:53Those are dog biscuits.
14:55No, what do you think
14:56keeps my teeth so white
14:58looking at my hair so shiny?
15:10Look,
15:11you change into a C now
15:12and I promise
15:13I'll get an A next semester
15:15and it'll all even out.
15:17Sorry!
15:19And you leave me no choice.
15:30Alex Rousseau,
15:32you haven't returned
15:34your wizardry port card.
15:36Wow!
15:38Talk about a paper cut!
15:45I need to speak
15:47to your parents
15:48straight away.
15:50I hope that's British
15:51for much, much later.
15:55No?
15:56Okay.
15:56Um, just give me one minute.
15:58Yeah.
16:06Actually,
16:08my parents took
16:09my report card
16:10with them
16:11to a sandwich shop convention.
16:13I'm sure you're familiar
16:15with the tortilla
16:16versus sandwich wrap
16:17controversy.
16:18See?
16:31I agree.
16:34Tortillas were cheated.
16:36I can see
16:37why your parents
16:38dove into this
16:39most pressing crisis.
16:42I'm sorry
16:43I questioned you.
16:45Would you accept
16:46my apology?
16:48Definitely.
16:49Thanks for stopping by.
16:50Don't be a stranger.
16:51Say hi to the little
16:51warlocks for me.
16:54Let's
16:54wizard handshake
16:56on it.
16:57The two-handed
16:59wizard handshake?
17:00That's the one.
17:07Ow!
17:09The only thing
17:10she gets an A in
17:12is hiding
17:12and lying.
17:17Be still.
17:19You lied to me.
17:22I can explain.
17:23I'm not interested
17:24in what you have
17:25to say anymore.
17:26I'm coming back
17:27tonight to see
17:28your parents
17:29and we'll decide
17:29how long
17:30to suspend
17:31your powers.
17:33My powers?
17:34No, you can't.
17:35I'm gonna need those.
17:37I'm also gonna need
17:38to know
17:39a sound
17:40that someone
17:41could make
17:41to attract a guinea pig,
17:43for instance.
17:44Oh.
17:46I would try
17:47a sort of
17:47rabbit-y thing.
17:49But with more
17:50saliva.
17:50a...
17:54desist.
17:56You haven't acted
17:58with any
17:59responsibility.
18:01Say goodbye
18:01to your magical
18:03ability.
18:03teeth.
18:05No!
18:06No!
18:19Okay, these guinea pigs
18:20look just like
18:21the ones we lost.
18:22You think this will trick Alex?
18:23What are you doing
18:25with my guinea pigs?
18:26Yes, I do.
18:30Mom and dad
18:31aren't really
18:31away for the weekend.
18:33I had to turn them
18:34into these guinea pigs
18:35to keep them
18:36from seeing my grades.
18:40So the guinea pigs
18:41in the cage
18:42were actually
18:42mom and dad?
18:45Yeah.
18:46These guinea pigs
18:47are mom and dad.
18:49No,
18:50were
18:51because they
18:51screwed off
18:52so we bought
18:52these at the pet store.
18:54Oh, man!
18:55Oh, man!
18:56Oh, man!
18:56We've lost
18:56four guinea pigs!
19:00How could you
19:01do something
19:02so stupid?
19:03Only a stupid
19:04person would think
19:05that my stupid thing
19:06was stupider
19:06than your stupid thing.
19:09You don't even
19:10deserve to have
19:10wizard powers, Alex.
19:12Look,
19:12this isn't about me
19:13right now.
19:13This is about
19:14finding mom and dad.
19:15Who you turned
19:16into guinea pigs!
19:17Okay,
19:18it's a little about me.
19:21Here's what we should do.
19:22We'll ask these guinea pigs
19:23where guinea pigs
19:24would run away to.
19:26How are we gonna
19:26ask these guinea pigs
19:27anything?
19:28Well,
19:29use a transfiguration
19:30spell to turn them
19:31into people
19:31and then they'll
19:32be able to tell us.
19:33Oh, you use it.
19:34It's your problem.
19:34I can't.
19:36Crump suspended my powers
19:37until mom and dad
19:38signed my report card.
19:40What?
19:41Is there anything else
19:43you want to tell me?
19:44Yeah.
19:45There's no emergency
19:45sandwich shop convention.
19:47Nobody cares about
19:48your stupid tortilla movement.
19:51No, just a little...
19:53would you just hurry
19:55and say the spell, please?
19:56Fine.
20:03These guinea pigs
20:04are small, dumb, and hairy.
20:05Make them human
20:06to find Teresa and Jerry.
20:10You've got to be kidding me.
20:12We're human!
20:14I'm gonna use my
20:15opposable thumb
20:17to pick stuff up.
20:20Check it out.
20:21I have things
20:22in both hands.
20:24Ask me if I'm okay.
20:25Are you okay?
20:27Yes, I am!
20:29Hi!
20:30Okay, settle down.
20:32We need your help
20:33finding a couple
20:34of guinea pigs
20:35guinea people.
20:38I smell peanut butter
20:40and jelly crust!
20:41And dirty sauce!
20:43And orange soda!
20:45Under Max's bed!
20:52Oh, Max, the door opens.
20:54You cleaned up in here.
20:55Go!
20:58Help!
21:01Is this marshmallow
21:03smeared on asparagus?
21:06Yes, yes, it is, Justin.
21:09That experiment's
21:10almost complete.
21:13Darth Vader cape.
21:14You people
21:15have no imagination.
21:20This is where
21:20my lucky mug went.
21:23There they are!
21:27Hi, Mom.
21:28Hi, Dad.
21:30Oh, they look bad.
21:31Maybe changing them
21:32back is a...
21:33Yeah, let's just be
21:34raised by two guinea pigs.
21:45These guinea pigs
21:46are now not
21:47Mom and Dad
21:48should fill their slot.
21:56Alex Russo,
21:57you were in
21:57so much trouble.
21:59Look, I can explain,
22:00but first you guys
22:00need to know
22:01that Professor Crumbs
22:02is coming to discuss
22:03my horrible report card
22:04with you.
22:08Were you eavesdropping?
22:11Mr. and Mrs. Russo,
22:13I am here.
22:15What am I standing on?
22:18Um,
22:20it's marshmallow
22:21surprise.
22:24The surprise is asparagus.
22:31Alex, do you want to tell Professor?
22:33Keep them from seeing
22:34my report card.
22:36Oh, I see you have
22:37Alex's powers.
22:39They already were
22:40in the wrong hands.
22:42Yes, they were.
22:44I am taking away
22:45her powers forever.
22:47I have never seen
22:48such a blatant
22:49disregard
22:49for the Student Wizard
22:51Code of Conduct.
22:53No, no, no, no.
22:54Please don't do this.
22:55I've come this far.
22:56It's not fair.
22:57I'm afraid it is.
22:58I shall take your powers
23:00and be on my way.
23:07Professor Crumbs
23:08turned into a guinea pig.
23:11Sweet!
23:15Don't look at me.
23:16I don't have my powers.
23:19Justin?
23:23I panicked.
23:26This is my problem,
23:27not yours.
23:28Don't let me drag you down.
23:30But you don't drag me down.
23:32I don't want you
23:32to lose your powers.
23:33Every time you mess up,
23:35I have to think
23:35of a way to fix it.
23:38You make me
23:38a better wizard.
23:39Look, I don't know.
23:40Professor Crumbs
23:41as a guinea pig,
23:43somebody's going
23:44to lose their powers.
23:46Well, I'm not a wizard,
23:47so what do you guys
23:50want for dinner?
24:00Justin, you have
24:01to change him back.
24:02Everybody just has
24:03to take their medicine.
24:06This guinea pig
24:07is a bad dresser.
24:08Turn him now
24:09into my professor.
24:14Justin Russo.
24:15How dare you?
24:17You are supposed
24:17to be a model student.
24:19I'm appalled.
24:21I know.
24:25I deserve whatever...
24:26Professor,
24:28this is all my fault.
24:31Justin, I heard what you said
24:33about your sister
24:34through my guinea pig ears.
24:40And if you could do
24:41something like that,
24:42I can't ignore it.
24:46You two bring out
24:48the best in each other.
24:52Alex, I know I'm going to regret this,
24:57but I am returning your powers
25:00so that you can train
25:01alongside your brother.
25:13and to your punishment,
25:16you both will spend
25:18the next two weeks
25:21grooming my beard.
25:25I'll see you in my office
25:27Monday morning at 8 o'clock.
25:29bring a comb.
25:38Alex,
25:39is there something
25:39you want to say
25:40to your brother?
25:43Yeah.
25:44Thanks for sticking up for me.
25:46Yeah.
25:47Professor Crumbs
25:48really bought that story
25:49I laid onto him
25:50about you making me
25:52a better wizard.
25:53Yeah.
25:54I really hate you.
25:55Yeah.
25:55I hate you too.
26:03And I guess
26:04if it means so much to you,
26:06I'll sign your
26:07tortilla petition.
26:16Well, I really hate
26:17both of you.
26:18Now we don't have
26:19any guinea pigs.
26:28We don't have any guinea pigs.
26:28We don't have any guinea pigs.
26:29We don't have any guinea pigs.
26:30We don't have any guinea pigs.
26:31We don't have any guinea pigs.
26:31We don't have any guinea pigs.
26:31We don't have any guinea pigs.
26:31We don't have any guinea pigs.
26:31We don't have any guinea pigs.
26:31We don't have any guinea pigs.
26:31We don't have any guinea pigs.
26:32We don't have any guinea pigs.
26:32We don't have any guinea pigs.
26:32We don't have any guinea pigs.
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